Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 815: Going Deeper with Sex with Emily

Episode Date: July 16, 2018

Warning: This episode is about sex. If raw and uncensored talk about sex makes you uncomfortable, then this episode is not for you. In this episode Sal, Adam & Justin talk again with Dr. Emily Morse of Sex with Emily about sex toys, sex parties, sex and relationships and a whole lot more. Can your nipples have orgasms? Introducing the womanizer and how orgasms can happen from the brain. (5:31) Which sex toy has given her the biggest orgasm? (8:21) Is it true that women start masturbating earlier than men? First time she used a sex toy? (11:00) What is her sexual timeline? (13:40) Her first experience at a sex party. (16:40) Threesome? (23:00) Who feels the shame-over? Why you shouldn’t feel shame and fear over sex. (25:15) Does she ever caution people on the over-use of sex toys? The importance of teasing yourself to find new paths to pleasure. (27:19) Breaking the myth that men should always be ready to go. (31:08) Tips for couples who have a baby and how they can get over the sexual plateau. (32:45) Breaking up the routine, the importance of vacation sex and how to keep up the momentum after. (36:14) What are her thoughts on the trends among generations (i.e. LUGS and BUGS, dating apps & MORE)? (39:32) What are her thoughts on the different porn searches? Fetishes? (46:50) Is she pro or con on the A.I sex robots? (50:14) What steps can women take to find her G Spot? (54:45) What’s Trending on Sex with Emily? (56:50) Emily goes deep on her relationship with her current boyfriend. (1:02:20) Featured Guest/People Mentioned: Emily Morse (@sexwithemily)  Instagram Website Podcast Heather Jeffcoat,DPT (@TheLadyPartsPT)  Twitter Erika Lust (@erikalust) Instagram Related Links/Products Mentioned: Mind Pump Episode 782: Sex With Emily  How does womanizer work? | Pleasure Air Technology Brain development: The most important sexual organ MORE SEX, LESS PAIN WITH HEATHER JEFFCOAT IGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood--and What That Means for the Rest of Us - Book by Jean Twenge Erika Lust Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports What Women Want – Pornhub Insights Tech Companies Developing AI Sex Robots The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts - Book by Gary Chapman Would you like to be coached by Sal, Adam & Justin? You can get 30 days of virtual coaching from them for FREE at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Get our newest program, MAPS Split, an expertly programmed and phased muscle building and sculpting program designed to get your body stage ready. This is an advanced program and is not recommended for beginners. Get it at www.mapssplit.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com   Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates.   Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Have questions for Mind Pump? Each Monday on Instagram (@mindpumpmedia) look for the QUAH post and input your question there. (Sal, Adam & Justin will answer as many questions as they can)

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mite, op, mite, op with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. Hey, pretty excited about coming back from the cell A trip, you know why? I know why. I know why. You know, I know what you're gonna say, dude. I got held up at the security because of this.

Did you really? What? No, actually it was Adam. I did. But the irony in this was this, I totally fucking called myself out. So before when we get on, we all did carry on because this is a one day trip to LA.

Yeah. So, and we went and saw sex with Emily, which always a good time with her. Dr. Emily Morse, she hooks up a plethora of toys for all of us. Sometimes people will visit us or we'll interview people. Amazing gifts.

And they give us gifts, right? Here's a protein powder I came out with or here's the new book that I wrote. Or here's a giant deal, don't you, girl? Yeah. Dr. Emily Morse has a sex toy, closet, literally opens the door of the best of the best.

And they're brand new. Okay, so now we got a lot of anal beads. Yeah, it's not weird. It's not like, you open them up in their use. I don't know. Oh, I mean, Justin and I got things for our girls and you were the only one that gets the anal beads and things for yourself.

Yeah, we had been in some horse. That's actually not true. I didn't get anal beads here. So the funny part is though, I got the one that does the vibrating suction on the clitoris. That's what it's for. Yeah, that is. Adam, I got the one that does the vibrating suction on the Clitoris. That's what it's for. Yeah, that is we were Adam. I'll show you where that is later. We were yeah Remember on the guy gets ten orgasms and I have to use

It's too many Gotta put that kid in his cream on it. She died.. There's a limit. She's dead. What happened to that? 10 is too many. Too many orgasms. So we all did carry-ons, right? And I brought Katrina back, like the Cadillac of Vibrators. It's fucking 12 inches around. That thing's crazy.

And it's the Mamba. And it kind of looks like an old school pistol, you know? So I'm almost certain that I'm going to get flagged And I'm debating whether I should check the bag, but I figured like all the boys have got toys I'm like, okay, we're all gonna get flagged. It'll be a big funny thing whatever So we're in line. I have vibrates my bag gets pulled to the side and the guys are you know calls Is this your bag? Yeah, so he's on zip and he said it's probably my big deal though that I have inside there The guy starts laughing, but then he goes right you're back. Yeah, so he's on zip and he said, it's probably my big deal though that I have inside there. The guy starts laughing.

But then he goes right for my bathroom bag and he opens up and it's the same damn thing that keeps getting me is I have this little toothbrush that I was so excited to find at ride eight about, I don't know, six months ago or so. And I like it because, I don't know about you guys, but I always lose those, you know, if you're toothbrush holders, you know,

the little cases, so they don't get dirty in your bag and stuff like that, I always lose those, you know, if you're toothbrush holders, you know, the little cases, so they don't get dirty in your bag and stuff like that. I always lose those things. So I found a toothbrush that's like a switch plate. It folds into itself. So I don't need a case for it. It's just a thought you had a switch plate. So they were going for the one thing

that was a toothbrush and you just blurted out. I just blurted out. It must be my dildo. Probably my dildo. By the way, it's not a dildo. It's a vibrator. Dildo's don't. Big difference.

Vibrator's vibrator. Yeah, but it's a lot funnier to say dildo than it is a save vibrator. So. Yes. When you say my giant dildo. They're both equally funny. No.

When you say my giant dildo is in there, it sounds a lot funnier than saying my giant vibrator. Yes. You might be right there. It did give me a chuckle. Yeah. It did give me a chuckle. It did give me a chuckle. What color is it? Tried to video capture it.

I don't know what color it is. It's in the box. It's still in the box? Yeah. We'll find out. You can ask a trainer. I was gonna say something gross, my point is. But anyway, I like Dr. Emily.

Such a cool girl. Yeah. Great episode. We talk all about sex. No holds bar. And she does not shy away from any topic. Trust me, Adam tried to get her to shy away. Yeah, I did.

And she didn't. She's a fun person. Do we cover squirting? I think we might have cover squirting. That might have been the first time we interviewed her. Yeah. This one we talked about the time that she went to a sex party. Right.

Yeah, sex party. We talked about multiple partners. We talked about a lot of different things in this episode. So really good at having a treat. This is a really good episode. You're gonna have to have a treat. This is a good episode. And like always, I feel like the first time we ever meet anybody, it's a decent episode, the second, the third time.

And once we get comfortable, we've been around people enough times. I feel like it really, and we did two episodes with her. We did one on her show. So if you guys haven't checked out her show, she interviewed us. I thought that was really cool. She, we answered some of the questions from her audience. Her podcast has been around for a while.

It's one of the more popular ones around. It's called Sex with Emily. You can actually find it on any podcast app. Or where is she? She's on serious now, right? Yeah. She's also on now on serious. So yeah, Dr. Emily Morrison.

Also, I do want to remind everybody that this month we may have lost our minds completely. What? We've taken Maps and Obolic, the foundational Maps program. We took the price and we said, fuck it, couldn't have. So now it's 50% off. Here's my brain. Under $60, you can get the full Maps and Obolic program,

the entire thing, the whole enchilada for 50% off. You can find that at mindPupMedia.com. You can also find our bundles like the sexy athlete bundle, or the build your butt bundle, right Justin? Or the Super Bundle, which is a year of exercise programming. So you can find all the bundles, plus the 50% off map, Santa Ballock at MindPupMedia.com,

and without any further ado, here we are talking to the lovely Dr. Emily Morse. What did you grab over there, greeting? Did you grab three things? Well, I wanted to ask her questions about this thing. I mean, you can't grab a show. I just got $400. $600.

No, I give that one a shot. We're talking about it. Yeah, Emily, I have used Nipple Clams before. I've seen these before, which are, they look like little pumps. Yes, it's from sport sheets, I believe, right? They're sex-experienced, and they're little pumps. So it just, here's the thing, you guys,

the nipples are so underplayed, women can have nipple orgasms, and this really can feel amazing. So this is just like a... Can they still do it after a child? Like, yes. A kid? Yes, absolutely.

They can do them. And some women, you can do it in a lot of different ways. But I think women just don't spend enough time there. Maybe their partners don't spend enough time. So these would just feel, would be like a suction. And it would just be like sending, you know, kind of just the pressure and the pulling. Is it pulsing?

It's pulsing, yeah. With the, yeah, they look like little. They look like little, little, like a suction cup. They look like a horn. They're like suction cup horns. Yeah. And um, I'm kind of looking at I mean, I have to do this.

Those might even work on it. One of them might even work on the clitoris. That's true. It's like the womanizer. There's a toy that does that too. It's like indirect stimulation or like a light, like the, um, the sucking, the pushing, the pulling, it's indirect stimulation. So it's not even naturally like, you're kind of on it, but it's pulling on the nipple,

which could feel great. And the same part, when a woman has an orgasm, a woman's turned on the clitoris, and the nipples are connected to the same part of the brain. So yeah, people don't often know that. So you can actually have orgasms, and some people like through their nipples, or through. And so yeah, we should pay way more attention to the nipples.

You know, it's funny, I've had this conversation with people before, and all the evidence you need is because orgasms happen in the brain anyway So you technically you could have an orgasm without any touch right happens when we dream Like people will have a dream and have an orgasm It's like it's a game Katrina and I play all the time How can you make it or I know her body so well that I don't So we're good

So we're good no he's serious Do you swear to God? What do you do? No, he's serious. You guys don't know this? I'm just serious. You do the Jedi Mind Trick on her. That's how gang, sir, I am. You're so gang-star.

I've been with her for seven years. So I've definitely explored and figured that body out for sure. So it doesn't take much touching at all. And that's like one of my favorite things to do is to see how little I can touch her and still make her orgasm. Because of words? Because you're like talking to her?

Yeah, talking to her, just barely grazing across her body and stuff. Yeah, you guys like touch too. Most women want very, very light touch. I think that's a mistake that I think a lot of guys think, because especially if you're, I think it's even more important now because of this generation that's coming up that watches so much porn.

Why are we gonna undo all that? And porn is so like slamming into the room. And it's like, I, you know, it's very rare that you have that kind of sex. Very rare. Right. It's really, really even wanted. Most women want the light. I always tell men go five times slower. Right. And then you think of three times slower. We're all happy. What would you say is the, I guess the must have sex toy or the one that's probably. No, no, no, I want to get more personal here. Which one is giving you the biggest orgasm? It just goes straight to none of the,

and remember, this is on our show, so you don't have no right. There's no get-a answer. There's nothing that you have to be responsible for saying for a sponsor or what is that. I want to know which one has made you crawl up the wall the most? Oh God, there's been, I mean, honestly,

I would say initially the magic wand, we were just talking about the magic wand, which is like the Mac truck of all vibrators. It's been over 50 years. It's been over 50 years. No longer plugs in, it's rechargeable. Oh, wow. I have the old school one.

I would say that that one works. It's powerful, and the literal orgasms are amazing. When I first got that, I was, you had to have it always plugged into the wall. So when I lived in San Francisco, I remember, I got a new night stand and I remember I drilled a hole in the back just so it could always be plugged into the wall. So I love that. That's commitment. Yeah, it is commitment.

So that one was the one that I was like, oh my god, there's so many nerve endings. And it's not just about the clitoris, but the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. So it stimulates all of them because your whole body is vibrating. I would say the womanizer is also the most, so I'm doing this for 13 years, and I pretty much have tried to have it. That sounds like such a funny thing. If they're changing the name, I hope. It sounds like the asshole you did in college.

Right, right. But the thing is, it's a German company that invented it, and it uses indirect, literal stimulation. It's called pleasure air technology. Oh, it's that lipstick vibe. Did you see the one on the shelf? Oh!

Let's bring that in. What do you mean? What do you mean? I'm gonna show you right now. Like here? I'm gonna show you, it's air, pleasure air technology. And it's- Oh, that's the one I'm gonna go. I'm gonna get that in. What do you mean? What do you mean? I'm gonna show you right now. I'm gonna show you, it's air, pleasure air technology. And it's- Oh, that's the one I'm gonna get that one. Okay, watch.

It looks like a Chanel perfume bottle. It looks like a Chanel, right. Exactly, it looks like I am. Don't ask how I do that. I'm lipstick. And put your finger here, so imagine I was here. Oh no, no, no, I'm getting this one. So this one sucks, you're clitoris.

It lightly grazes it. And they call it the 60 second orgasm because the women in this, and that's even the highest. Oh, I see it. So it's like little pulses of suction. And you can keep it in your purse. Oh my God, it's getting you to your dog, Josh. You're ready to put your lipstick on

or give yourself a new orgasm. So he's like producer leaves it under her tele. So it's ridiculous. I'm getting that, I'm getting that. That's the one I want. I know. I'll give you, I want to give you a love, everything. I do, so the womanizer is a cool one.

I've had my first internal orgasm. You see? Pass it all along where you're done here. Come on. Using an Etc camera, what the toy was. But just any G-Spot vibrator, I was like, I was just so limited. Women are just, a lot of women are very shut down in their bodies in the sense of they just

think that they could orgasm in one way. And that's it. I will only have a little orgasm. No, we have so many nerve endings, so much areas for pleasure. And a lot of times because of trauma or shame or we just give injury, we just shut things down there.

So you gotta open them up. Now is it true that girls start masturbating later than men, maybe because we were so external? I've never heard that. Like mostly what I hear from women is the common first masturbation story for women is I was like five years old or seven years old and I was riding a bike or I was riding a horse. Like accident.

And I had a orgasm or I was taking a bath or shower. And that's when I gave her a lot of women to get accidental thing or they were like rubbing up against their teddy bear. And then there was some literal stimulation. And so I think that happens at all different ages for women. Now the first time you used a sex toy, how old were you?

I was, Pai 21, 22. Oh wow. Is that the average age or? Well now, I hopefully they're using them, people are using them more frequently. But I, I don't know what the average age was. I just was very, kind of like I used to grew up like a skinny kids and you didn't feel great about your body.

I wasn't having orgasms. I never masturbate. I didn't even know about masturbation or even orgasms. I was having sex. I was about 20 years old. And I was with a bunch of my friends at college when they was like, what is the big deal about sex? My boyfriend would come in from Michigan State.

I was at Michigan. He'd come visit me. He'd be pounding away and leave. I'm like, I really like not leave leave. We had a good loving relationship, but I'm like, he rolls over. What I mean, you guys, what is the big, what am I missing? Like, why is sex so great? They're like, okay, back up.

You've never, like orgasm. I'm like, what the hell is that? Now, do you attribute that to your, you're not really knowing your body or was it doing like porn style sex? No, I think that he just, well, he didn't know my body either. I used to think someday my prince will come and so will I.

No figured out. I believe that a man will show up and he's going to know everything on my body because I knew that I knew nothing and I was never educated on it. So if I don't know, he should know. So why isn't he giving me pleasure? And with my girlfriend's who were like, and I grew up in a very open home, my mom was like, if you have questions, ask me Cosex questions. But the challenge is I think I didn't know

what the questions were. You have sex, you're like, not gonna be like, hey mom, there's something to do. So then I realized that point, oh masturbation orgasms. And then I started like studying and figuring it out. And here I am. I think my boy bought my boy from Bot Meat toy.

At the time. And so the first time you used it, did it just blow your mind? No, I still didn't have an orgasm from it right away because I think I was like kind of fearful of it and I just, I'm trying to remember, I was very, to be honest, I was, I haven't thought about this in a while. It took me a few years in that because I was also going through a bad time like my dad had just died when I was in college.

It was like sophomore year and I think I was just shut down altogether and I was just like, I don't want to do anything. And it wasn't until I've usually, a few years later that I was like, oh, because it was probably also, I wasn't joining sex because I was sad and depressed. So from that time, do you have like time frames where you're like 22, I ended up having this sexual experience and that took me to another level.

Then I had this sexual experience and took me to another level. Do you have like monumental? I do. I guess I've never thought about it here. I feel like we should do some kind of like, timeline. Yeah, let's hear this. Let's see the sex timeline. Oh my God. Okay. So 20 were having bad sex. Bad sex. No orgasms.

No orgasms. And then 25, I think I had regular orgasms with a boyfriend. It was very open and he was like, he did really close up. He was like, let's have sex on my mirror. Like he had some big mirror. He put down the floor. We could watch each other. Like I was like, that's really hot. We watched porn together and the time was like, let's have sex on my mirror. He had some big mirror. He put down the floor. We could watch each other. I was like, that's really hot. We watched porn together. And at the time, it was like the VHS tape.

And it was like cool. And then that was great sex. And then it, oh my god. That's at 25, you said? 25 better sex. I realized, oh, there's so much more to do. It's so playful. When did I have amazing oral sex?

I think like a lot of women, they're 20s. I was very uncomfortable with oral in my early 20s. I thought that I wasn't, I thought that why would he really want to do this? Does he really want to be down there? And I think for a lot of guys in their 20s as well, and I know I'm going to hear from guys, we're like, I'm great at it.

I'm sure you are, but I'm saying, after 13 years of doing my show, I know a lot about men and women and how they related. The guys also, they probably didn't know what they were doing as much, so I was more self-concerned around that. But when I feel like my best, I'm just gonna do a side note here, my pro tip for guys performing oral on a woman or probably on anyone is let them know that to lay back

and to relax and just say, babe, I got this. I'm going to be here all night. Don't go anywhere. So she relaxes. She relaxes. Because I think a lot of women are like looking at the clock. It's been 12 minutes. If they're lucky, hopefully she got longer.

But someone are like, oh, it's been five. Keep going with it. Let them know that you're into it. How great you taste, how much you love doing it. Because I think because for women, there's been all these studies that have come out. Not that we really needed them, but I love these studies that say like the number one thing, why women don't orgasm was the study,

and they showed that oral sex was like the number one thing that got women there. So like if you are not performing oral, like up your game, ask your partner what they want. So when did I have amazing oral? When did that start? God, I don't know if on the spot one, can I remember that? When was it?

Probably my early 30s. When was amazing. So you went from 25 mere sex guy. Starts to enjoy this a little bit. And then not till 30, to someone else rock the world? Well, I think I probably had good sex in the middle there, but then yeah, 30s and guys was like, whoa, like you really, and I was more comfortable too.

I was just gonna say now, do you attribute that to you kind of finding more about yourself? Absolutely. I'm 50% of the Quagen Air for sure, if not more. Like I think that we bring ourselves to any situation. So, and I would say when my sex I've really got, it was when I started the show. So I was 35, and I was like, oh my God,

I was started to, living in San Francisco, started getting to this whole sex world, not the expert. More like the guinea pig when I started, I was like, oh, people were like, come to a sex party. I was like, great. And went to a sex party. I had a threesome, not at the party that was separate. So I started getting all these toys in the mail.

I would say my biggest growth has been in the last like 13. What's a sex party? Right. It's like a play party. You're going to get your invitation? No, I didn't It was a play it was a play party and you invite couples or single women are invited and their private parties and it was somewhere in County

We took a bus and yet together like a nice bus you could park a car They couldn't tell you where you were going and we drove up to this house It was like three story house stories like hot tub's on every level and there was a bunch of sexy people Actually sexy people because I always envision these things like the nude beaches I always go there thinking I'm gonna have a good fucking time. I get there see some old lots of bodies that I want to see make it So I think I just imagined sex parties. I was like I'm gonna go to one of these things Well excited Not want to have sex. Yeah, that's what I've heard too. Everyone's like, oh, every swinger has a ponytail.

Yeah. No, I think that you find people. Especially now, I think people are more open to it. So the sex party is like a regular party, but you go and people are drinking, but then you look around after a while and you're like, oh, she can be in a blowjob. Are they having a threesome? Is he? What's happening here?

An orgy. But you could also sit there and just hang out and talk. You don't have to have sex. Right. So what happened with you the first, the way you went to her? And the first one I hooked up with this chick, she was very pretty.

Was this, now, was your first experience with a female? I don't remember, but I think I had, like, made out with someone, like, five years ago. This is like your first, yeah, I know. You were bouncing around on us here. It's starting to be the timeline you got. This sexual timeline is all fucked up. No, I think.

We just went over to all your stories. I barely know about my vagina to all of a sudden. It's fucking on mirrors, and now I barely know about my vagina. It's all just fucking on mirrors. And now I'm just sleeping with women here. Yeah. You just, what? It was all happened because I was not, I was really, no, I really think.

So what was, was that something you had been thinking about? Like, I'm thinking for getting people. Hold on. Was I thinking about what? Yeah. Like having sex with women and did you go there with that intention? No, I had no intention.

I was open. I never go in with a, it's so much better to go in like goalless, like I don't know what this is going to bring because that was also the attitude I was bringing to my show at the time so then I would go on and I would talk about it. Now was there, was there partially curiosity of like maybe this, the, you know, female would actually, maybe you would end up liking females more or is it more like an experimental thing? I just want to try everything sexually.

I wanted to leave no sexual stone unturned. I thought, wow, this is amazing. Every time I did something, it was like, I learned so much. It was great stories. It was great connections. And I learned so much. But I just, I can't remember the entire time. And I would say most of it happened since I've started my show.

I know I definitely got more open my 30s. I knew how to ask about what I wanted. I'm able to have orgasms all different ways now that I wasn't before. And yeah, sex parties were just... So what was the go-to move for me? And this girl. Oh, with the girl.

Well, I love it guys. Never, we have to tell my boyfriend in a day. I absolutely want to know this. They literally want me to replay my stories with checks over and over again. I feel like that was I feel like I'm in contact first or what? What? She's hot. Okay, so the theme of the party was like um was what is it never?

Robin Hood what like a never like everyone's like dresses like nymphs and fairies and stuff Okay, wearing like a little um white like some fairy wings and angel dust. And there was just really, this, I keep saying chick, but I say chick a lot, that's a fendant one, but how chick and chick is out here? You're allowed to your chick yourself. You can do that. She was really, she was pretty, and I noticed her, and she just, we just like, you're really sexy.

I'm like, thanks. And then we started hanging out. No, we were like hanging out, and drinking, she was there with her husband. I was there with a friend who took me who I was not interested in because the only single the time single women could go with, or you had to be a single woman in your own or go with a couple.

And then we just started, I don't know, we started making out and then we were like on the bed, there was a bed of course in the middle of the room and then I looked around and there was like people around us and that kind of thing. Now was that a turn on because people were watching? Did it encourage you or were you making more nervous? No, I really, it's funny. I don't get nervous that often. I get nervous about the stupidest stuff.

Like, you would be like really? Like, but sex stuff, I'm just like, no, I'm here. I'm open. And it was, yeah, I remember she like touching her, but her breasts, she had fake boobs. She was like, had been like a former like dancer. And we just made it. It was a great kiss.

I remember our kiss was amazing. Like, I remember it was like this, like she was like remember our kiss was amazing. Like I remember it was like this, like she was like, wow, it was like this magical like hour, it felt like it was like an hour long. I mean, that's it. Did you find yourself getting wet because of it? Did you get turned on that much from it?

Or was it like, I'm just kind of having fun right now. I think I listen, if I don't, I can't think of it. I can't think of it. I think it's part of it from that, you know? Is it like that? I was turned on like I was like, we have like kind of have fun and I would get part of it from that. You know, is it like that? I was turned on. Like, we had like kind of date.

Like the next week. Oh wow. So some shit happened down there. No, nothing at, yeah, a little bit. We didn't go down each other. You know, no, I was tingly. I was turned on, but we didn't like go down each other. But I remember feeling like it was,

it was really hot and it was fun to have that kind of like crush and experience. Probably also crossing that like taboo line. Like, right? That's probably exciting. What's the big difference between having sex with women and men? Is there a big difference? Or is it besides the obviously fundamentals?

I think that women, I think that women just like, we know each other's bodies and we think we know to go slow, we know how to pay attention. We're so much, we can like. You have the cheat code already. Yeah, we do. I'm like, I got this equipment. I've driven one of these before. Like I know my way around the clitoris, your vulva. Like I can kind of, have the cheat code already. Yeah, we do. I'm like, I got this equipment. I've driven one of these before.

Like, I know my way around the clitoris, your vulva. Like, I can kind of, and I can read it. And you just kind of know what we like kissing and we like touching. I don't know, soft. Pretty, you know the machinery. And then you said a threesome. Was it after that that you had a threesome

because now you're comfortable with another woman? I guess so, it's just so funny. Yeah, I was too nervous for that. Um, I had a three, I'm trying to think, but I think I had one before. I'm trying to remember. Guys, is this like a reoccurring thing that happens a lot? No, yeah. Not lately.

And my boyfriend's not happy about that. He's like, what about you and all of you? He's like, it's so bullshit. No. It might be mad if I was him too. I hear you. So sad. All this other radio are like, now we start dating and you want to be just you and I.

He's like, literally, he's like, what? What can we go, what do you sex parties every day? No! I'd be mad if I was him too. I hear him all this other radio. Like now we start dating and you want to be just you and I. He's like literally, he's like, what, why can't we go when you sex parties every day? Like literally every time. He's like, I just, what am I supposed to do about this? This is your job. How can I do it? Like you know I was like a planning,

asked me at a time when I'm in front of the computer and I can email some people, like, I don't know why. He just thinks it can magically, they're just going to show up because the truth is, all of my threesomes and sexual experience that I've had were organic. They were mostly when I'm not in a relationship.

There was one guy who was dating in San Francisco for like a year, but it was open in the sense of, he wasn't like my boyfriend boyfriend, but we saw each other once a week. And he emailed me when they're texting me. And I was like, hey, there's this chick I want you to meet. She's never been the woman. Let's get drinks and see what happens.

And then we all ended up with this amazing threesome when we're all not really attached in the sense of like he wasn't like my serious boyfriend. Well, I feel like it'd be more complicated when you're actually with someone, not always, right? But when you're with someone, you just want a date or like you're serious with. That's probably much more complicated to have a threesome.

And it would be just a random thing. I can be. It depends what stage in your relationship. So people listening, we should have a three-star, just spice it up, it's like, just like people have a baby to get close to, no, don't have a three-star, to heal your relationship. It's the couples who actually have the healthiest

communication around it. Like, you literally have to walk it through and be like, can we kiss her? Like, how are we both gonna find someone that we're in? You have to set the boundaries, the rules, the expectations at a time. It doesn't work for us. Yeah, I feel like to get complicated.

I feel like it's, I mean, I've only, I can count on one hand how many times I've had a threesome, but every time it was never lived up to what? Right. It did in your head, you know? They never do. Yeah, as a young boy that was masturbating to that

probably many, many times, when it actually got to game time, it's more awkward than it actually was like. And I feel like for guys, you got your hands full. Like the one woman, you got not. One woman, yeah, one woman's got a deaf heart. You got four breasts, you got a lot going on. It sounds cool to tell your buddies.

That's what I always tell them. I mean, more hands, it's more of that than anything else is to come back to school or work and be like, I guess what I do. No, I get it. I have a question. I have a question. When we say three, we always assume do. No, I get it. No, I have a checkbook. I have a question.

When we say three, we always assume it's two girls and one guy. Sure, right, right. What's two guys in a girl? What about that? I think that would be amazing. That's on my bucket list. I've also talked that through with my boyfriend.

I just never done that. No, I'm kind of thinking that's true. Oh, okay. Back up. Wait a minute. We call it. I think it was like an aborted three-some-ones. Like it was always happened and I was like,

I think that one. Abort, abort. I was like, really? I was like, it always happened. I was like, like an aborted three-someones. It was like, it was almost happened and I was like, I think I don't know. Abort, abort. I was like, actually, I was like, it almost happened. I was like, no, I'm not feeling it about. Like, that's what women, I've learned this a lot too, is that you have to be, and men, check in with yourself. And that's why it's great not to drink too much. I think that's, I'm not a huge drinker,

so I haven't made a lot of the sexual, I think, regrets a lot of it. You have happens to be around drinking. I think you lose your inhibitions, and you just do things that you might regret in the morning. And I know when my body doesn't feel right, I'm out. I can't do it. So here's a good question for that then because I know people who've done three sums or

three sums where there's two guys in a girl. And many times they feel ashamed afterwards. What do you say to people like that? Shame over. Yeah, okay, there you go. What do you say to people like that? Like, who feels shameful? I mean, the man or the woman or everyone? Oh, it's typically the women.

I've had friends that were females that had like a three-stum or a head sex with two guys at the same time and felt kind of... Well, I say that anyone who feels shameful about sex is like, I just, if I could leave the planet and I could do anything as to help people get rid of shame and guilt and fear around sex. Because that's just her own voices.

It could be her religion, her family, her childhood that people are going to say, you're a slut or judge her. But I think like, we don't have to take any of that in. And just like the fact that she's probably had this beautiful experience to wake up and judge it in the morning, I just think is the service for herself. So really just to realize, where are these, if you have these negative thoughts because so many people do, I talk to them, they have different levels of that. They're like, well, I should wait for dates, but before I sleep with them, or I should,

or whatever it is, I should lie about my, you know, what I really want, or if I ask for what I'm Betty's going to think I'm a slut, all this like slut-chaming and worry stuff, I just, I feel like the more that women can really get comfortable in their bodies asking for what they want and then realizing like it's such a great act of self-love to say, I want, I chose these men. I wanted to have it and yes, it was the best night of my life. Are you going to challenge me on that? Like anyone who did come after her and even just tell herself, like I just gave myself this beautiful experience with these men and it felt great. And this is, it's mostly our biggest damage comes from our own thoughts.

Like, I'm sure that no one else would judge her. And if they did, I would say those are not the people you want in your life. That's right. And I've always thought that it may be better, especially if you can experiment that way to do it sober because I feel like if you don't afterwards, you can say, oh, I was drunk.

And that's why, rather, when you're sober, you're like, okay, I made a decision. It's what I want. Exactly. I think that that's a great, I mean, I think like, okay, I made a decision. It's what I want. Exactly. I think that that's a great, I mean, I think that, right, I think a lot of the regrets come from that. Even better to be sober in these situations, I think.

Now we started the podcast off by talking about all the toys, all the awesome toys that we have on here. Do you, now do you ever caution people on overusing it? Like can you get to a point where you're getting so good with having your toy and having orgasms from that that you're maybe not spending as much time with your partner. If you ever caution, you know, go back to mission. Yeah, let's start from the beginning. I don't caution people. I caution people over just kind of getting stuck in a rut. Sexual

rut and doing the same thing every single day. So if you're and we all have our hidden quid routines, right? I got two seconds. I want to get off and get out. So you have your vibrator, you have your toy, and you just do it. And I would say that's great. I'm happy you're having orgasms, because orgasms are so healthy. I mean, you guys probably know this too for men and for women, your prostate, for women,

it helps with depression, PMS, your skin, the glow, like all of it is important to master it. But if you only are doing it in one way, and you're kind of like on this, I was like autopilot with your toys, I would say try it. Like try exploring other parts of your body without a toy or use the toy and your nipples, use it down your thighs.

Like tease yourself, tease yourself to make yourself, like just see what other nerve endings you can simulate because we have so many paths to pleasure. Something you said on our last podcast that I thought was absolutely brilliant was, and maybe I think you said this was, you know, sometimes it's okay to play with each other or whatever, without the goal of orgasm. Yes.

I thought that was absolutely brilliant. Right, because I think for a lot of couples, they are just people in general, we get second and right because we do the same things over and over again, and we think that orgasm is the end goal, but I wish that we could stop thinking of sex as linear like we made out. We touched my boobs, I would touch a game of blowjob, and then we have sex and then we're over. We roll over and watch Netflix. Like I wish it could be like,

it doesn't have to be orgasm or even intercourse, but give each other a sensual massage. You know, make out like you used to it at the beginning and just play with each other. Use toys, use nipple clamps. Like I gave you some nipple clamps. Use bondage gear, like talk dirty, like try to get your partner in orgasm without touching it.

Well, I think this is so important, just because, and I've noticed this as I've gotten older, is just even when I go in the bedroom, you would think that, oh, I'm in my home, I'm in my bedroom, that I'm mentally in this space to have sex, but a lot of times I find that I'm not there. Even though I'm there, you're talking to me, you know, I'm talking to you, but I'm also texting on my phone

and I'm doing emails still and I'm not fully engaged. And I find that the conversation around anything, whether we're talking about stimulating conversation or toys or our favorite position that we did, just starting to start with that. I think sometimes people feel like, you ride away, have to go in. Jump into the well, that's why we don't have sex as much.

I feel like, I would say four-play starts after the last orgasm. So what that means is you're never done connecting, seducing with your partner, like said a sexy text, talk about how hot it was last night and what you want to do the next time you see them. Like, because our brain is a large sex organ. So if you keep sex top of mind, then when you get into the bedroom, not every time we all busy days, but you're kind of like already in the mode because to think that we should just basically means keeping that pilot light lit all the time. So it's just

like, you know, if you feel great in your body from working out from exercise, we all know that that is a huge part when you're just taking care of yourself. You're going to be more ready for sex, but also stress is the biggest killer of our sex drive. So if you can kind of have even a routine with your partner, like, let's put our phones away and we get home for a few hours if we can. And let's just talk or touch or watch porn together, read a rhodica, like do something that's like a new kernel of like sexiness to work out together. Like a different routine will kind of spark that because just saying like every night

to go upstairs, get in the bedroom, I'm brushing my teeth with your brush, let's have sex. Like it's like, we should. Oh, yeah. So if you can kind of like even out to having sex in the bedroom, I'm brushing my teeth through your brush, let's have sex, like it's like, we should. Oh yeah. So if you can kind of like, even out of having sex outside the bedroom can be enough for people. If you're always having in your bedroom,

have it in the kitchen in the living room, that could make a huge difference. And the Mind Pump Studio. And the Mind Pump Studio. It's a great place. Yeah. I was selling my pund sales chairs. Yeah.

It was on yours, Adam. It was on yours. And along those lines, I think another thing too, I mean, I was married for 15 years and the last, probably 10 of it, was dysfunctional. And there were times when we had, one of the issues was sex. And I wanted to much more of it, and she didn't want much of it at all.

And then very few times when she sometimes would want it, it's almost like she just expected me. And maybe because there's that stereotype of being a man where she should be able to take my clothes off and he should be ready. And if he's not, then what do you say to couples like that? Because I feel like that's a common run. Oh, you're a guy who should just be turned off.

Exactly. When we talked about the earlier, you were saying that, when you guys are on my show, we were talking about how women, you were actually hearing from women or men who didn't want sex as much. When you start with who were out of shape or weren't as healthy, their libido felt challenged, low testosterone, that there is a myth that men should be ready to go. And I feel like my heart goes out to men because there's so much pressure on men to be the leaders.

Like I said, some day my principal comments, so I really believe that men knew everything they got to be ready to go if they are not hard, it must mean that I'm not hot enough for them. And so I just think it's education. It's like understanding go easy on yourself. Don't just kind of everything that you believe around sex probably isn't real. Like everything that you've been told about everyone

being ready all the time and sex is to be amazing. The entire time you're together and sex doesn't take work and it doesn't take communication, it doesn't take mixing things up, like it does. So if you don't, if you don't believe any of that stuff, like I want you to start like kind of listen to my podcast, start researching sex, talking about sex, that's how it's going to get better, but all these things are, all these things are so untrue. What about for couples who have children and post children? Sometimes I think scheduling, busy, the hormones can change, tired.

And I noticed that with my friends, I have a lot of friends who are married with kids and I was married with kids at one point and you just see like, oh, we used to have sex all the time and now it's completely different. What are some tips you can give? Yes, well first accepted, it's not broken. There's nothing wrong with you.

You guys are in crisis. It's just a natural state of a relationship. It literally happens in every relationship. So you guys must have questions like this with people like, why did I might stop? What is it called? And you plateau? Like, why did I plateau for 30 days of this? I mean, probably every day you get the same questions at certain levels. I get that question almost every day, 10 times a day, because people are like shocked. Is it something wrong with us? We've been together, we've kids, and we don't want to have sex. Like, no, except this is going to happen in every relationship. So how you kind of can kind of, and I love couples to get ahead of that.

And to expect that it's coming, because it's still going to happen. But the best way. What do you mean we get ahead, like, okay, we're going to have a baby. Like, start talking about sex the first time you have sex. Not in a way like, was that good? Like good for you? Great, okay. But like, what turns you on?

Like, what feels good? What, like, how could we like up our game? Like, know that when we don't want sex, we talk about why we can figure out what turns each other on. That's just one thing. To make it part of your conversation. So when this happens, it's not like,

we gotta like, what are we gonna do? But if you haven't done that and you have a baby, your life gets busy, I think it's just to like kind of just say, like, let's work on this together. It's not what don't know blaming, no shaming. Don't try to fix it on your own. I think that this is when we hear like, you know, maybe she'll start getting like sexy laundry and doing something just for her and maybe end his own. I don't know what he's doing on his own, but I think when couples are like, we're no longer connecting,

so I think it's making a date night. Despite seems so cliche and basic, but if you have a kid and you have not taken a night off, I know you're tired and maybe you can't afford a babysitter, but like you could find something, even if it's for three hours to have a U-time where you guys are out without the kids. Setting the alarm earlier in the morning,

even if you're tired or later at night or having that night set that you know you're gonna have sex or that morning is important. Get your hormones checked. There's a lot of women who are told by their doctor that six weeks you're ready to go, and I very rarely see that. I see that women are like their bodies,

like it depends what kind of, even the matter of what kind of pregnancy you had, delivery you had. It's going to affect your body in some way. It's going to take some repair. So I think that women don't know enough in the states about repairing their pelvic floor and how much a toll that can take.

I just did a great podcast with Heather Jeff Coat, all about the pelvic floor. And so I think for women getting your hormones checked, getting it back in shape. There's a lot of different things that are happening, but for couples, it's like, and again, taking sex off the table. You might not be ready for penetration, and it might be a whole thing, but central massage, neutral masturbation where you're both getting off, it's intimate. You're lying on bed together, but you're doing your own things.

It's sexy to watch your partner do their thing, and then you're also learning as well. I didn't know that she uses two fingers on her clippers and six one inside, or that's how she gets herself up. I might take that information and use that next time. Mutual masturbation is very underrated. I think so, too. I think that's a good thing for couples to do, and it requires less energy if you're tired or whatever.

I agree. So what about momentum? What about momentum? Do you think that plays a role, too? a good thing for couples to do and it requires less energy if you're tired or whatever. You know, it's a, it'd be, I agree. So what about momentum? Do you think that plays a role too? Like I feel like sometimes we come and, we come and go in waves. Like I'll say and you don't have sex for like a week or two and then you have three or four.

And is there ways to use that momentum as like to help kick start or keep the sex drive? To keep it going. That's a great question. Usually the momentum happens. Who knows? Maybe you are on a vacation and you go with it some more time on. It's a great example, because that always...

Yeah, with the vacation sex is the best. That's not what it's underrated. When we first started dating, that was one of the go-tos that I used to tell Katrina, because she has an incredible sex drive. It was up to her we'd have it seven days a week. And I just can't keep up with her. And so I always tell her, if you feel like you're being deprived that way, you know me, all you have to do is get me out of here, you know, let's just go somewhere

for a weekend. And so she runs the calendar and schedule. And that's typically what she does. I'll find out that, oh, we're heading, heading away for three days and we're heading up to some spa resort for a couple days. All right. And that does it because your audit, because the thing about vacation sex is that you're switching up locations.

So anytime we can do something that's spontaneous and new, because what happens to couples and long-term relationships is, in the beginning, everything's new, everything's spontaneous, everything's unknown. Like the first time you have everything, how, girl, I mean, you know, masturbator, all this stuff, but after a while it becomes routine.

And those are the ingredients that were so important for hot sex, all that newness in spontaneity becomes routine And that's like that's more like you you know when you know Just yeah, you can do it. We're wired for novel. You're wired for not wait. We're wired for novelty So when you take it to a new you're not you know your bills aren't sitting around It's not your TV your clothes aren't on the chair your kids can't hear you And it's a new place that you're both discovering you know about the sheets Maybe there's a great sunset.

You can watch. There's just so much nudist that, which is why I love vacation sex. But how do you keep that going is you continue to do novel things in your relationship. You continue to surprise each other. You continue to talk about sex in a way. I know a lot of couples listen to my podcast together, which has been kind of a fun, like, byproduct of it. We were on a road trip and we listened

for five hours because it can be really challenging for people to talk about sex. So I feel like, oh, Emily said it. Well, maybe we'll do it. Emily says that we could try this or what do you think about that? I think it sounds weird to do massage. But I would.

Would you? Oh, yeah, let's take a massage class. And then you got your massage class on the thing. And so it's like, listen to things, watch things, like read a radical, like just keep it top of mind. Say like, God, you seemed like last night, you were so turned on. What, what was happening?

I like, what was the hardest thing that we did last night? Or what's your most memorable time we've had sex and why? Like just kind of keep that energy going. Great question to ask, I think very few people do. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things to do is ask, like tell me about the sex you've had in the past. Oh, right.

And you know, you gotta be kind of a self-confident individual. I ask that question. But that can be very sexy, especially if you get away, you know, get away from the whole like insecurity aspect of it here, the stories. Yeah, you're partners with you now. So if you can be okay with their past, like you guys are asking about the three

some I've told you, he's like, tell me again about the time. Yeah. Do you need to help me? I wanna know them I've told you, he's like, tell me again about the time. Yeah. I want to know. Yeah. But no, it's true. I think it's continued to put the fuel, like continue to stoke that fire. However you can.

Like, and for a lot of people, it is like feeling good in their body. So it is wearing something sexy. It is like, I don't think you're doing it for your partner. Like, I'm going to get lingerie that he finds out or she finds out. It's like, what makes me feel sexy and to continually keep challenging them. Now, you've been doing this for a really long time. So have you seen a difference in the generations?

For example, I was excited to talk to you. I just finished this book called Igin. It's about the generation now that's growing up, which they call the Igen now. And there's a term called Lugs and Bugs. Are you familiar with this term? No. Okay, so it stands for Lug is a lesbian and until graduation.

Oh, that I've heard, lesbian and until graduation, yes. And Bugs is bisexual and until graduation. And it's kind of like this movement in the younger generation of exploring your sexuality until you graduate from college, and they've turned them as loves and bugs. So have you noticed a difference in the generations and you see good things, bad things? Do you think that's a good thing? What are your thoughts on all that?

I think it's funny, because I first heard logs probably about 10, 15 years ago but I didn't know about bugs, but I guess it's kind of the same thing. Let's explore and figure out who we are. I think it's great for people to have a period where they're exploring. And I wanted to why just until graduation,

it's like, well, better button up now, I'm going to job and stop all that bisexual stuff. What if you're into it? Like what if it felt great? And I feel like, what if it was something that you might, you know, that you might want to continue that lifestyle? I think we're much more open now to people who are experiencing sexually.

There was a study that just came out that said, most people are not straight. Like the majority of the eye-gents are not particularly straight. Like Kinzie always said, everyone's on the spectrum. Like the one is being very straight, 10. Rare that people are on one end of the other. Very rarely. Very rarely is anyone on one.

Even men. They were not. You would take a two, a three. But it's showing that we're just much more open. I think when we're giving people permission to explore Because I think like 20 years ago maybe the generation are maybe even like 30 they were like oh like kissed a girl I got drunk and kissed a girl at the bar because my boyfriend thought it'd be hot, you know Now I think people are more on having relationships. Do you ever think it's too

I mean Doug's always asking me about this about experimenting this late in his age Do you think that's too late? Okay That's too late. Never too late. Is it ever too late to get in shape? No, not too late. I feel like we're all working this. It's pretty much the same thing. Like there's so much paralyzer between like, like becoming sexually active.

So there you go, David, it's not too late to be above. Never too late. Never, I just glad that people want to know. I'm glad that people are interested. No, never too late. We'll give you some toys too. Get your cover, Doug. We thought you'd talk.

We thought you'd talk, but we didn Really? It wasn't just for them toys. Any fear like, do you notice any sort of trends with the questions that you get from the 17 to 20 year olds and like what do you? I'll tell you my fears. My fears are about porn. I think they were kind of weird and porn. And I'm not ants. I'm for porn. I can, when you use it in a healthy way. Like I think it's great for couples. I love Erica Lust porn. Erica Lust.com. She's like, it's's great for couples. I love Erica Lust porn, EricaLust.com.

She's like, it's from the female gaze. It's kind of porn that kind of have just a, I don't know, a different perspective, more tasteful. And more soft, more plots. But there's plots and better angles. No, but it's really great porn. But I think that for couples, great learning tool,

for people that can just, I like porn. But now it's becoming crisis level because there's a lot of young kids who, when they think of sex, they think of like a gang bang. They think like when I have sex, there's gonna be six women who showed up and why didn't that happen? Or women are making sounds,

like they think it's a script, like I should walk this way, move this way, and since sex education is absent and or abysmal, it's such a united states, when that's all you're seeing and then you go straight to having sex, And since sex education is absent and or abysmal, especially in the United States, when that's all you're seeing, and then you go straight to having sex, it's like horrific,

and I would love to get to all of these young minds, and just so that no, like please, like there are so many other ways to learn about sex, to have sex, and you're doing it all wrong. So, can you tell that by the questions that you're getting? I mean, what are you seeing? Like, what are they asking you,

like when you put that together? Because I agree too. I think we're all on the same page that that's, it's so accessible. Yeah, it's so accessible to you, man. It's a desensitization. Like, when we were kids, a porn magazine was, you could trade it for a bike.

Yeah, you could trade it for a bike. Literally, I could trade it for a bike, and now it's like, I can go and click, click, click, click, and I read some studies that show that, especially when you're an adolescents, it's especially the male brain, because it's so wide, it's wired for novelty even more than the female brain.

And it starts to develop these patterns where you need a particular type of dopamine hit to where when you're with a regular person, you get, it does do the same thing, right? Yeah, erectile dysfunction is like growing in the young population, in ages that it never existed before.

Exactly, and I think it is because of porn, because you gotta keep growing in the young population, in ages that never existed before. Exactly. I think it is because of porn because you got to keep up in the ante. You got to keep elevating it to get more turned on again. So yeah, that's probably porn. People of all ages, I think, that essentially here for men that they're like, I can't get off my partner anymore. So what you got to do with that is just kind of like, I'm never going to tell you what I'm not going to say, cold turkey, though.

I would, but I think that scares people. I would say cold turkey would be amazing if you could do it, but maybe you just like, don't start with the porn and you can end with the porn or try to not every other time, but I just think it's gonna be hard. You might not have an orgasm right away. You might not get as hard, but like you can de- just like you rewired your brain,

you can deprogram and that's why. You feel about tinder and these like readily accessible like apps. I feel like it's all fine. I don't believe it's all about sex. I think if you want to get laid and you want to go on Tinder and have sex, that's what it can be for. You'll find it. But I don't think it's like, you know, I think it's a numbers game. And I think for people who want to meet people and they want to meet a lot of people and they want a lot of options, I think it's, I don't have a problem with it.

But I want, that's a lot of people, and they wanted a lot of options. I think it's, I don't have a problem with it, but I want, that's a lot of human on Tinder. But I just think to think like, I owe someone something, they took me to dinner or cause I'm on Tinder, I should sleep with someone. I just, I don't, I just don't think it's true. Do you think because it's so easy though to hook up now, do you think that actually could be having an effect on the conversational skills that we were talking about earlier? Or communication? Well, I think that they that what we're seeing in the IGEN, I'd love to read that book that sounds fascinating

because they grew up literally with the phones in their hands, right? They were the ones with the iPads when they were born, right? Like whenever age kids are sitting there holding the iPad, I think that they definitely have less developed communication skills and intimacy and vulnerability and all those things that we would learn by hanging out with our friends and we were not distracted on our phones all the time, we'd actually have played dates. We'd sit in the room and I pay with barbies

with my friends all day, or we'd go out and ride our bikes and I just think that we're so obsessed with the phones out that we, or with just texting everyone, like picking up the phone, like, what do you mean I have to call them? Like I remember having people work for me like five years ago in their early 20s, like, what? I have to pick a phone call.

I'm like, it's okay, people, you know, so just imagine you can't make a phone call, you're certainly not really gonna be comfortable talking. So yes, I do think all of this, like we just need to take the phones away for a while. Well, I try to put myself in the shoes of a 14, 15 year old with the phone, and I know what I would have done I try to put myself in the shoes of a 14, 15 year old with the phone, and I know what I would have done with the phone that can take and send pictures.

And that's what scares me because now you get in kids who are sending pictures of themselves and doing video. Oh, so wrong. And then it's out there. There lives forever. And it lives forever. And I would have for sure done that shit. You're right.

You're so for sure. I hope people listen to it. It never goes away. And let me tell you this, if you are gonna send a naked photo right now, I don't care what your age is, whoever gets it is going to turn to the person next to him and show him.

I've been with so many guy friends, we're like, check this out. Because I'm like, I don't, she didn't want me to see that, but that's going to happen. But if you're cool with that, and not just the person next to him, it could get out there, then you should do it.

But otherwise, why send the pictures? Don't do it. Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. We were talking about porn earlier in this pop to my head. I read a study. I think it was done by Pornhub, which is one of the most visited porn websites online. And they were showing the porn habits of their users. What I find fascinating about that, by the way,

is people can say one thing, but their porn habits, what they click on, will show the truth. Like, we're in the end of the moment. So someone might say, I'm not into that, and think about that by the way is people can say one thing, but they're porn habits. That's the other way. But they click on, we'll show the truth. Like, we're in the end of the moment. So someone might say, I'm not into that, but then you can see that they're the second most watched porn by women was gay men. Yes. So that's been a trend for a while.

Is it really? Yes, a lot of women like watching gay porn gay men. And now the article said it was because it's the same reason why guy like men like watching two women, it's two things you like. But then also I guess the gay porn was shot differently, the men are better looking, it's not so much of the... If that's so much about the act as it is,

like men just like beautiful men, like making out and like being more, yeah, I don't know. I've never, that's never been my thing, but I know it's so common. It's like that is one of the most common types of porn for women. And I think it is because I don't know. Maybe it's, yeah, it's two of the things that you like.

There's no other, you're not, there's no other, you're not comparing yourself to maybe a woman in it or two. You connect the woman out of the equation. And I just think it can be really hot to what, I think watching any sex act can be really hot if you take all your judgments away. Sure, if you think it your judgments away. Sure.

You think it's a good or a bad thing to feed into certain fetishes? Like if there's somebody who watches porn and you do have kind of a weird porn search like Sal, and do you think it's, don't look at my history. Do you think it's, you think it's, I mean, on porn home now, you can watch anything. Literally anything, right? Literally anything. And that's legal. And so I, sometimes I think like,

do you think that's a healthy thing? Like for example, I was actually just on a porn hub the other day. And what pops up in front of me is like, sleeping with my mom. You know, it's like it's like a story. It's all interfamily stuff is big right now. Yeah, that's weird.

Yes. And I'm thinking to myself, like, you know, if I was somebody who would enter this, would this be a healthy thing for me to masturbate to it and watch it, what do you think about that? Because I know that, obviously, they're doing, they're getting with that mom. Like who's driving? Well, stepmom, it's a step family. Sometimes I don't see it as a mom.

I don't see it as a mom. I'm just talking to my boyfriend about this. He's still probably not the best idea, right? Right, but it's still a little different. Because I think I've seen stepmom and I've seen like kind of all the other. My mom would be like, yeah, but step, I step sister, he was telling me, he's like, it's a whole genre now,

of just the step, because I guess there's less aggression towards women in poor now. It's what my boy, this is just for my boyfriend, it's his research, research. And if there's all this step stuff, I'm like, that's just why he's at a hot, I don't get it and he's like, it's taboo, it's unknown, I'm like, but even that. And then I'm worried that there's all the steps up, I'm like, that's just why is it hot? I don't get it. And he's like, it's taboo. It's an unknown.

But even that. And then I'm worried that there's going to be all these young kids who've stepped up some wings or like, maybe we should. Well, that's what I'm at. That's what I'm going with this is I'm just curious. I just talked about this yesterday. I was like, oh god, I got like a scream. I don't know where I was like, ah.

Paragomy feels like it's a conspiracy because then it's like, you know, you have all these searches in your search history and they're collecting these titles You might also like yeah, it's like you you're just watching the video and then it turns on to that title and they're collecting They for sure. I think they I think that's what I said No, I think you're right, but it's like Netflix like you might also like the backdoor band is keeps coming up on yours Yeah, I think the predictive watching Thing yeah, I don't know. The fetishes thing, I'm not sure what's who's driving you. Well, it leads me to this,

this conversation that I wanted to have with you also, which is what we see happening with the sex dolls and AI. Yes. So what is your thoughts on that? Because now, I mean, these things are getting, I mean, and in our time, in our lifetime, I see them. They're going to be fucking as real as real can come. They have brothels already for. What do you for. So what are your thoughts on that? And are you pro? Not what do you tell me? I'm in the middle with sex robots because I feel like it can be great

for people who are lonely, like loneliness is an epidemic right now. You realize that everywhere. They just like it pointed like an administer of loneliness in the UK. Like the United States too. We're lonely. we're isolating. So for people who maybe are of disabilities and they can't have sex, so they can't have sex as they want to, who want companions, women who actually want to go down to them for someone to go down to them for more than 15 minutes. Maybe you could have programmed the robots to do a lot of oral.

I think that they could have some good, some therapeutic, some healing purposes having robot, but do I think that we might just abandon everything we know? Like, cool, I have to talk to someone, I have to take him to dinner, I have to compliment him, and I can just have sex with a thing. I do think that that might be, that's what concerns me, especially when Doug was asking about ordering him when I was like, this is what I'm worried about is that, would you keep coming to work every day? You know, are you going to be stuck in the room with this? I think so to talk to us, Doug.

I think like anything, it's going to be like any powerful or any powerful tool it can be used for function or dysfunction. Yes, like anything. Yeah, because I could foresee sex dolls being an easy way for couples to experiment with their fantasy. They can experiment through some, right? Thank you. And we don't really wanna do that in real life, but this is kind of a way for us to play with our fantasy type of deal.

But then I could also see this function where somebody's like, I don't wanna be with the human. I'm just gonna be with the robot. Well, then we've talked about this. We speculated on what they're gonna go with them. Yeah, we speculated on what happens when, you know, because this is the first introduction to it, then the next crazy step is when they start making the dolls for fetishes and stuff. What happens when they make child dolls?

They already have dolls. And then they introduce something like this and, you know, what if we potentially see less of that happening on the streets, because now they're all doing it in their with their toys? Yeah, that's really really upsetting then you're right. I don't think we know but it's very close to like that's happening in the next you know Yeah, this is I just want to encourage people to continue to Connect self-love love your partner like like when you put the phone down I feel like we because after all you could get a robot and it feels like it's the same as your human And it's as a human and it's easier. But I think it's, people are already

in the sex toy industry. It's like, you know, a billion dollar industry bigger than that. And with toys, I feel like there's also toys now. Like some of the toys I gave you guys like the pivot, the coquering, you could use that. And oh, this one, this one is a, I mean, it's very, you could use it with a remote. So your product could wear this. You could be crossed the world doing this. Across the world, there's an app, that's the Wevibe, the Wee, what is this, this is the, the jive.

She can wear that inside of her. That's a guy. You can program that from across the country, across the room using your phone, you can control it. You can control their pleasure. You can use their app called We Connect, like almost like it's like a FaceTime app. You could see each other.

So to me, that's been around now already for a few years and that's pretty friggin cool. But to have like a, like a FaceTime app, you could see each other. So to me, that's been around now already for a few years and that's pretty freaking cool, but to have like a, like you just would never, I love the smell, the touch, the taste of like a human. I have that experience. So I just, I hope we just continue to realize the importance of real time.

Yeah, at the end of the day, just like with anything, you have to, I mean, be psychologically sound with yourself and have self-love and then, and then however you express that, it's probably not gonna be dysfunctional, you know what I mean? be psychologically sound with yourself and have self love. And then, and then however you express that, it's probably not gonna be dysfunctional, you know. Right, exactly. Otherwise, it's gonna come out in dysfunctional,

maybe harmful ways to, you know, to do end your partner. Yeah, I think it can be harmful, but yeah, just like, everything's like masturbation, it can be healthy until it's not, until it's like all you're doing, and you can't get to work, so all your dreams masturbating more far. Are you seeing more, because of the ease of access to porn,

you're seeing more addiction to masturbation, addiction or issues. Yeah, I think I'm seeing there is more like sex addiction, if you believe in that, and those controversies around even sex. But I think anything that you're compulsively doing that you can't stop and there's consequences is an addiction. So for some of you, like, do I have an addiction?

I masturbate twice a day and it's like, okay, well, do a relationship, are you going to work all day? Like, are you healthy otherwise? Yeah, everything's fine. Like, there's no problem. But if you're masturbating, you're like, okay, well, do a relationship, and you're gonna work all day. Like, are you healthy otherwise? Yeah, everything's fine. Like, there's no problem. But if you're a master meeting, you're like, no, I actually, I do it like 10 times a day. I can't keep down a job.

I can't keep down a relationship. Then there is a problem. I think we are seeing more of this desensitization that we talked about, and more people talking about just that they can't get sex with that porn, or they've learned too much about it. So yeah, I think there's more of that. If a woman has never had a g-spot orgasm What are some steps she can take to trying to get that?

That's a great question. I think that is that a real thing It's a real thing. No, it's a real thing and I think it's more internal like g-spot cervical organ I mean, there's a lot of different just internal part. I think for a lot of women. They are not Again, I just think it's literal and the thing is just the internal part. I think for a lot of women, they are not, again, they just think it's clitoral. And the thing is, they're like, I can only have a clitoris, clitoris orgasm, and then I'm out. And the thing is, first of all, it's all connected as well.

So the clitoris is that little magic button, but there's also, you know, 8,000 nerve endings, you see my, the wishbone there, right? If the clitoris, that there's actually clitoral legs that go down inside behind the labia. And it's all that area, which is also very connected to the G-spot. So it helps to be really turned on, have a clitoral orgasm first, and either using fingers, your own ear partners or a toy can be a great way to find it and be patient.

And to just like, there's different, and if you if you go to website, my website, sexwithelm.com, we have tons of like different blog posts and articles about blog posts and podcasts about how to find it, but my thing would be to what really helped me was relaxing into it, having specific masturbation sessions dedicated to that, to finding it, and to also doing my keggle workout. Like I called you guys, I called you and I called you to have keggle camp to remember to do them because the stronger your PC muscles are, you're like, you're sending energy to that level,

they're down to your pelvic floor, you're breathing into it, you're pumping it. And those are the muscles that contract when you orgasm. And so if they're stronger, meaning even you're just paying more attention to it and you're using them and controlling them, it will also have you have more G-Spot orgasms. But for me, I learned with the toy and then I was able to bring that into a relationship with the piece. You started blogging first, right?

No, I didn't. I started podcasting first. Oh, you podcasted first. 2005. And then when did you start blogging? Soon after that, I mean, because they had to have a website that was all about the website. So I started posting blogs. then when did you start blogging? Soon after that, I mean, because they have a website that is all about the website. So I start posting blogs.

Now do you recall some of the ones that were the most viral or that have helped the people out the most? Like do you have an area where you can find them on the website or on the run? But they're all really, I mean, God, there's so many, like I could look at what's the most viral now. We post stuff every single day. I have an amazing team.

I'm not doing as much of the blogging, but Jane, my producer, we have writers. It's just be interesting. Yeah, what's like trending? That's what I was trending on Sex Family right now. There's an art form squirting. Oh, great. That's a great topic right there in a song.

Yeah, it's great. We're not covered that. Six most common sex issues. Six most common sex issues. The art of seduction. But we have, I mean, thousands of, thousands of podcasts. Yeah, I think we did a 10-year. Yeah, a ton.

But it's really everything, but I would say that would make sense. People, seduction, what was the other one? Do you sense that? Six, six common. Oh, mistakes, because people just want to know, am I normal? Is this okay? What are some of those? I mean, look at it.

I would say the six most common things is people don't communicate about sex. They don't keep up with their healthy masturbation routine outside of the relationship. Was it the six most challenges around sex or around relationships? So back that up, right? They don't use lose, they don't use choice. You encourage masturbation by yourself, too. Yes. Let me tell you something.

That's good, because my girl gets mad at me every time. She does? Oh my god, I'm so glad we're talking about this. Now I know a book to give you. Oh good. Yeah. See you asked me. I'm allowed to mass-pave myself. Let me tell you. I think that I hear this more from women than men or men complaining about their girlfriends are like my girlfriend. I have to hide it from her because I think that women and I thought this was the mirror guy when I was 25. He also watched a lot of porn. I remember feeling so confused that it was the best sex of my life and it was 25. He also watched a lot of porn. And I remember feeling so confused that it was the best sex of my life.

And it was amazing why would he still watch porn without me? I was like, does he want me to look like the blonde with the big boobs? Because I'm short and Brunette and don't have big, like it was so confusing why he would still need that. But what I've come to find out, come to learn and what I will tell you, and your girlfriend, is that self love and masturbation is healthy

whether you're in a relationship or out of a relationship. It's a release, it's a stress reliever. It's just guys have to do it. Women have to do it. I often have to convince women and remind them to do it. It's kind of like work out the more they do it, they're more going to want to. And like I know it's okay. And it let her know that it's part of you having a healthy, you know, being connected

to your body. I think where it comes from for her is that because like I said, she wants to have it seven days a week, so if she finds out that I'm masturbating and I'm not giving her sex that. Oh, that I understand. So, yeah. Well, I don't understand.

Well, I don't understand. I don't understand what you're saying. Well, I understand where she's coming from, but I want to know with this, in station, well, what if she masturbated? I'm pro that. No, but of course, but maybe like to put all that on you when you run a company, you got a big job,

you're super busy to make you feel bad about that and to guilt you into it, that doesn't make me feel great. And for her to kind of take care of herself, like why does she need you for that? It might be great for her to explore. I don't know what she's into, but maybe she could like on her own, be like, I'm gonna have a juice bought, multi, whatever. I'm gonna learn own, be like, I'm gonna have a juice bought multi, whatever.

I'm gonna learn to play with my, I'm gonna butt plug and play to see what my outfields stimulate my butt. I think that, you know, I'm gonna watch a Radica and get really aroused and turned on. And I'm gonna show you, tell you about the sexy thing I did when we're, the next time I have having sex.

Like, I think there's some stuff she could do on her own. And then it might not just be about the sex with you, it's something about connection and feeling needed and desired by you. And she might have some abandonment issues. And if you're having sex, you might leave. I mean, in a way that's not even tangible to her. So, but I think, you know, that's a lot of pressure.

You guys, it's compromised. Yeah. The couples have to compromise. We do a pretty good job of that. You seem like the health, like literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you guys as they're couples. So I'm not putting her down.

Everything you've said is super healthy. No, and I like, and I like the reason why I share it is because I know a lot of couples probably Yes, some more things they go through and this is stuff that we communicate and I hear that was something that you know She communicated to me and I understand because if she's asking for sex seven days a week And I can only give it to her three because I just masturbated maybe four hours before she got home And now I'm not in the mood for it. So I could totally understand that too. But you have every right to masturbate. Like that's not like it's one of the other

because she can ever, you guys could also, I don't know, you could go down on her. She could masturbate in front of you. You could kiss her while she uses her toy. Like you and me, there's ways to do it where you don't have to evolve. This is a different way of that happens sometimes. Like with, I mean, I've done that.

I'm like, oh, I'm just going to get off. He's like, great, I just masturbated or I'm tired. And we just went and I didn't have an orgasm. And it's like, it's hot to me. He's just there and we're making out. I don't really need anything else. Like just the fact that he's here. So for her, there might be other ways

she could look at having pleasure that you've got to do on your face. Have you done that? Have you offered, like, well, I'll just go down. I do. That's exactly what I do. Yeah, okay. No, absolutely.

It's for me, it's a simple fix, is that. It's just being aware that she has a very high sex drive, you know, and that I don't have as high of a sex drive as she does, but yet there's still times where I'm going to masturbate. And if I do do that, and she comes home and she's in a very sexual mood, I'm not going to selfishly not give her sex or do anything with her physically because I did something earlier. Yeah, you can make out. You can make out the better.

There's a compromise. There is a compromise. There it is right there. Excellent. God, every time we're with you. I'm so fun. I know. I love being with you guys.

Really. This is always always great. You can't wait to have you up for our studio. I want to come up there. That's the Bay Area. Yeah. Let's put them back. This right here is exciting.

I want to meet your boyfriend too. You got to bring him up. He's amazing. It's great. Let's come here. Yeah, you these yeah, let's put them back this right here is exciting. I want to meet your boyfriend to get a bring him Amazing, it's great. Let him come in. Yeah, you would love him. He was a comedian. Yeah, you crack you up I mean, thank God is funny because we're who's a comedian. He wasn't Yeah, now are you are you turned down or turned down turned on by humor more than I more than normal than a normal person Yeah, I love humor. I do I mean, but I think everyone was like I wanted a funny That's a big one for women. Yeah He we just he cracks me up and he's um, he's kind and he's these thoughtful and he's

Funny as hell. Yeah, no, we just leave me laugh and we we don't take it anything too seriously And he's very obviously very open to what I'm doing here and he's down So you gotta be a confident person if you're gonna be with a sexual Exactly, that's a good thing. That's a good thing. Yeah, there's no jealousy with us. He's like, do you have your life? You know, yeah, so yeah, because I could I could see you be a being a challenge, especially for a woman to be open sexually and to talk about certain things because a man might feel insecure. Yeah, oh, for sure. And I've been with those guys, not very long, but I've

met the and those guys probably wouldn't ask me out now. Like, if you Google me and you're like, oh, you know, it's my jam, but a guy's with me, you got to be really confident. Like, if you Google me and you're like, oh, no, it's in my jam. But it guys with me, you got to be really confident. Now, you guys are eight months in right now. Yep. Okay. So by now, probably had at least one, maybe two disagreements or don't like how you live or do something like that.

If there is anything that... It's a great question. What do we fight about? Yes. I mean, we don't really fight that much. Mostly it's been about, I say that he gets frustrated with me because I have a lot of anxiety and I work a lot and I'm not great with, I guess it's more about me being like, I have so much to do and I don't have time to do it which is kind of always been like, I was in college

like that. I work, I've always been like a overachiever. Overachiever. So I think it's when I work together finally, I'm like, but I have to do all these things and it's just, and most of the time it's not, it's-overchiever. So I think it's when I wear together finally. I'm like, but I have to do all these things. And it's just, and most time it's not. It's just this general craziness. So I think when I don't make enough time for us,

I think is the challenge. So do you have certain things that you, I mean, I brought up earlier about, you know, I figured out, or I hacked into this that, you know, hey, if I'm working like crazy, I'm having a hard time connecting. We're not having enough sex, take me away. Yeah.

And that's like her go to have you figured out. We're going to Greece, so we'll see how that goes. We're going to go to Greece for two weeks. I think that for me, I'm also much more, like I realize that there's certain stuff that I just don't have to share with them. Like I don't, and when he comes over now, I realize like I just have to, like his love language is quality time. So when I'm, he comes over and I'm still working,

like I can't do that. Like I just try to like, when we're together, we are together and I'm putting work away. But it's not like we fought about it a lot. There's been, it's been a really busy, um, you see my type of person where if you were to call you out, you'd be like, oh, I love it.

I'm like, oh, I hear it. He's so good thing is he's almost, I've learned so much from him and the way he calls me out. I mean, did you really want to say that way or maybe? Like I hear, he calls, he's so good at calming me down. Now I just get anxious and then I get a second, and he's tall, he puts his arms around me, and I'm like, I just kind of, he relaxes me in that way.

And he's also really good at, he's never, we don't attack each other. He's not judgmental in that way. Like, he's just very much like, is that the way that you think you want to say it? Or maybe there's another thing happening. Like, he just, I don't know, he's really good for each other and what do I get to do it out probably when he um he drinks too much he doesn't he doesn't he probably

shouldn't drink that much but he doesn't that much when he does I'm like not your best self I gotta say it's no pot do other things but the drinking like not your job but really otherwise we really like and there's been times in this relationship where I've been like, no, it won't work, and then we get past it in a really healthy way, so it just keeps getting better. We communicate really well. That's excellent.

Well, thanks for coming on the show. Oh, I love it. I love it. I have a good time. I gotta come up and visit. We should be like frequent fire guests on each other's show. For sure, yes.

Yeah, for sure. I welcome visit. Thank you for listening to Mindpunk. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy, and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbumble at Mind Pump Media.com. The RGB Superbumble includes maps on the ballad, maps for performance, and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased, expert exercise programming designed by Sal Adam and Justin to systematically

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