Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! A Yeast Injection

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about jealousy.Next week, we want to hear your questions about BALLS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Listen Bitch contains some very't say award-winning. Listen Bitch isn't award-winning, it's just Miss Me. But Listen Bitch is part of the world of Miss Me. No, I think it comes under the entertainment gold award-winning umbrella. It probably got us there to be honest. Would we have won the award without Listen Bitch? No, I think it comes under the entertainment gold award-winning umbrella. It probably got us there, to be honest.

Would we have won the award without Listen Bitch? Probably not. Probably not. Guess what Phoebe told me? She reminded me of the real origins of Listen Bitch. Of us saying it. Really? Yes.

Do tell. You can contest this, but I think it might be true. Do you remember at Danny and Judy's house, We're like 20 and you're living there. Basically, Danny and Judy, they're Lily's godparents. Danny's my godfather, yeah. Yes. Auntie and uncle vibes. They have this fat house on Talbot Road and they proceeded to leave for the summer and

just leave us there. Well, Lily and us, we moved in. We'd have some pretty cool parties. But mainly our thing was to watch Big Brother. And it was that insane series where like there were no rules. It was a mess. It was chaos. If anyone remembers, it was the series of Victor and Stu and that girl who called him chicken. Oh yeah. Do you remember these crazy bosses? And it was when they did the first. Stu was fit. Yeah, Stu was fit. He's right crazy bosses? And it was when they did the first- Stuart was fit.

Yeah, Stuart was fit. He's right up my strata. Yeah, they did the rich and poor house. They divided the house and it was fucking chaos. And we used to watch the 24 hour run. Phoebe was running me this. And it was like, that was where the good stuff was. Like they started having this insane fight.

Anyway, Victor used to always say, listen up people. And then we kind of derived that into listen bitch. And then it was like, listen bitch. So we actually have Victor from Big Brother, 2002, 2004. Another one in our speech. Thank you very much, Victor from Big Brother. Where is he now? Well, again, the glory got to his head

and it was never heard from again. Be careful with power. Today we're talking about jealousy. Jealous. I'm so jealous. I don't want to just do every listen bitch with a song, but I would love to just sing that. I'm so jealous because I love that Nick Jonas song.

I still get jealous. And I don't, I really work on my jealousy, but I believe that social media has implanted envy into all of our souls. So there's not really much we can do about it, but discuss it and talk about it. Can we have our first question for today's Listen Bitch? The theme is jealousy. Hi, Lillian Makita. This is Ellen. I'm sending you this voice note from a rainy Hertfordshire. My question about jealousy is you both mentioned, I think, at the end of last episode that jealousy had in the past gotten in the way of your friendship a little bit. And so I'm just interested to see, obviously,

it's not an issue for you guys now. How did you get to that position where jealousy is no longer getting in between the two of you? Thank you. Love the show. Okay, so we're going straight in, okay. I will just start with, I will always be jealous of Makita's legs. Like that's not going anywhere. Okay, let's just get that out of the way. So sweet.

That means so much to me. I want you to be jealous of my legs all the time. To be quite frank, I've always been jealous of Makita. I've, you always had this sort of energy around you and your family that I was very jealous of. So, you know, your mom, you had, you know, Phoebe, Theo, Neymar, the connection with the Cherries. It all seemed like very vibrant and full

and it was something that I didn't have in my home when I was a kid. And so I always felt left out and a little bit of jelly belly. A little bit of jelly. in my home when I was a kid. And so I always felt left out and a little bit jelly belly, little bit jelly. So funny, because all I wanted was your house and your mom and to have siblings and to live in Islington. And it's just so silly, isn't it?

So silly. I don't think that I was unaware of that. And I think it gave us this slightly competitive edge in our friendship that possibly you don't have with like Phoebe. You and Phoebe have never really had that, I don't think. Maybe something about gold jewelry when we were 19. We'll also say Makita is very attractive and always has been very attractive and I was always jealous of her looks. And also because you were a year older than me, you were just like a little bit cooler than me always.

So you were like sort of a step ahead in like the culture stakes, you know. You're like onto the bands before me. You went to squat parties before I did. You sort of, you know, you were my introduction to a lot of things. And I felt, yeah, inherently, I don't know if I was jealous. I kind of looked up to you in a way, but I, there's definitely some envy there. I was always like, why can't I be as cool as her? Oh my God.

It's really nice to hear actually. I thought I was such a mess of a child. I was a mess of a child, but so vibey, still so vibey. I always believed that Lilly had so much more than I had. And it really does show you about kind of the things that are important, because you just wanted closeness and warmth and safety. And I wanted a big, cold, rich house.

I didn't care if there wasn't loads of love in it. I was like, I just want that, the aesthetic of it. So it's weird, in The Old Childhood, I feel like we both got what we needed from each other's lives. You would come in, I mean, how many houses did you move into of mine and mum and gaffes? Even when we... So many. Didn't really have anywhere for you to move into. Just come stay, never leave. And I was happy to have you there. I knew that that we were what you needed when we got

to our teens. I sort of understood that there were things I had that you needed. Yeah you're like why is she leaving her nice big cushy house in Islington to come and live in our flat that doesn't have a wall in between the living room and my bedroom? In it, I was like, what the fuck, can we go to your house? Because there's chicken here. Chicken, there's chicken and love here, and music.

How have we got better at it? I think when you watch your friends go through real pain and real hardship, it becomes about something very different. You know, I could have very easily been quite jealous in Lily's humongous beautiful home, but it just, it gives me a different feeling to that. I was inspired by the way you've built your life. And I felt comfort in the fact that you have that kind of life, the life that you wanted with, wanted, with beautiful things and a good family. And I just love you too much to be jealous, but maybe there's still time, there's still time,

maybe in about five years, it will rear its ugly head again. Maybe it's healthy to have a little bit of jealousy in a relationship. I think there are people in life that push you and that are kind of put in life to push you. And maybe if you hadn't gone and done such stratospheric things, I wouldn't have felt like I could have ever come back

and done big things. And do you know what I mean? You never really know what that jealousy drives you to do sometimes. I definitely think, you know, when you were on Pop World, that like drove me to want to go and be a pop star. Really? For sure.

I know, I just never heard you say it. You were like, no, no. This isn't happening. For sure. Yeah. I know, I just never heard you say it. You're like, no, no, this isn't happening. This isn't happening. Okay, I need a plan. What is my vehicle going to be to beat this bitch into submission? And boy, did you. What a plan, what a plan. All right, I'm sure this will come up a lot more.

So let's, why don't you ask for another question darling in this very honest space. Please could I have another question for this unbeached jealousy please. Hi, Lillian Makita. This is Jess from Teesside, which is in the Northeast of England. So on the topic of jealousy,

I'm generally not a jealous person. I'm always super happy for my friends, even people that I don't know that are doing well, like, you know, especially other women. I think it's important to empower success and happiness. However, when I'm in a relationship, I can get very jealous in terms of if my partner is,

if I see him speaking to the girl and I out, even if they're getting too like pally and just being friends or having banter with other people, which is really sort of strange. And I feel like it's more of a territorial sort of thing. I mean, I am a Scorpio through and through, so that is a general Scorpion trait. However, I always feel guilty that I'm like that. I always wish I wasn't like that. So I suppose my question to you guys is, have you ever been jealous in that way?

And how exactly would you navigate it. Thanks, bye. Okay, well, let me tell you about some things I have been reading about recently. Well, yes. So yes, jealousy within a relationship is interesting. I think for me, it is all related to my own issues with attachment and abandonment, fear of abandonment. And I think that generally, all of that stuff starts in early childhood, right? And so I think that, God, it's, as I said it last week on the show,

like it informs so much of my decision making sometimes, and I'm really, really trying to look at it and to work on it. But yes, essentially, the idea of like, of ownership of another person is central to it, right. And I think if you can address that jealousy, which I believe is rooted in a fear of abandonment and fear of rejection ultimately. And belief in yourself, you know, it's about not being scared of what happens if that person does leave you because there is always a risk of that happening, right? And you can't control it. If your partner falls in love with somebody else, there's nothing that you can do to stop that from happening.

So you've got to get yourself to a place of- Where you can survive anything. Where you can be okay on your own. Yeah. And then that jealousy goes. You know what? I'm just- I don't care.

I'm gonna quickly, just quickly say the origins of the word jealousy, because I thought it was quite interesting that it's a French word. The word stems from the French, jalouse, jalousie, formed from The word stems from the French jalouse, jalouse, formed from jalou and from the Latin zealousus,

which to mean full of zeal. But it is also a root connoting to boil, ferment or yeast, which sort of infers something that lives inside you that is alive, that can grow with the wrong energy on it. Lovely. It really can eat you up. So it's like the awareness of jealousy

and then the root of why, because it's never really about the kind of facade of it, is it, as you're saying? It's about deeper shit. No, I think it's about attachment. It's like, I wanna be this person's everything. And I think if you let go of that, you know, there's always gonna be things that you, you know, don't like about your partner and that your partner doesn't like

about you and that they're going to find attractive in somebody else and that, you know, you will find attractive in somebody else as well. And, you know, deal with it. Come to terms with that. Face it front on. That's right. You can handle it. It's usually our imagination that's scarier than anything else. We are survivors as human beings. You can handle it. It's usually our imagination that's scarier than anything else. We are survivors as human beings. You can fucking handle anything. Hope that was good advice. Lovely lady from Teesside. Let's have another question. Hey, Lillian McKeeley. Love the podcast. My question on jealousy is now that we're in this brass summer era, I'm thinking of the song, Girl So Confused. I'm wondering, have

either of you had a contemporary in the industry who you thought you were pitted against or was your competitor and then it turned out that actually you weren't in competition and that you actually both respected each other. Alaa, CharlieXX and Lorde. Can't wait to hear. No, no one. Can I talk about this? Absolutely. Oh, fucking hell, yeah. But to refer back to what I was saying before to Lil is that I think certain people are put into the world to drive you.

And you can only really make someone a competition with yourself. Like only that's kind of only up to you. In our industry, maybe it's particularly with Lily, you will have been pitted straight up against you know Duffy. Was Duffy pitted against you? No I was never pitted against Duffy. My ones were Amy Winehouse, rest in peace and Cheryl Cole. I don't really know why. I literally think because you were both brunette. Yeah, I don't think I was ever pitted against Duffy.

No, I'm just joking. Kate Nash, well that was more comparisons, not really pitted against. And what did it make you feel when those direct comparisons were made? Because I have similar versions, but I didn't have the press making comparisons. Well, I just always had an inferiority complex around Amy.

I still do. She was a fucking genius. And she was around at the same time as me. And she had an incredible voice. And she was incredibly talented. And I think that I had possibly like one fifth of the talent that she had. And it was sort of glaringly obvious to everybody.

So I felt it. And I believed it. And I still do to a certain extent. But I, yeah, I felt, I felt it and I believed it and I still do to a certain extent, but I don't think I'm jealous of it. I think I'm a place of acceptance. It's okay that there are people out there that are better than you. That's fine. See, I don't think there is. What do you mean? I don't think there is anyone better than me.

Not what I want to do, to be completely honest. Well there's no one better at being you than you. Yes well quite this is what I mean, that's a dickhead way. That's what I mean. And I'm me, I'm the best at being me. Yes. And that is one game we can all win. Well it's interesting actually because people always say this when I go on stage to do acting, and they're like, you know, is it similar to being on stage as a singer? And I'm always like, no, it's not, because I can't fail at being me on stage. I can fail at being convincingly as a character, as somebody else, and, you know, giving truth and honesty and integrity

to that character. But I can't fail at doing me, because I'm me. Yeah, you're so good at it. You're doing such a good job, by the way, being Lily. Thank you. A award-winning performance of being Lily. I think that, what was the question? I'm sorry, my head's a bit scrambled today. What was the actual question? I want to make sure we're actually answering people's questions. Just talk about Alexa and talk about Fern Cotton. I think they were really hard for me. Fern Cotton was first and Fern was blonde and the way, you know, probably 90% of TV presenters looked at the time. And yeah, I felt very lonely and very brown and on my own in this world and

I was constantly told that yeah I was grubby and that she was sort of clean and pretty actually I was never words of attractive it's so funny you're saying that you always thought I was so attractive because the minute I got into my industry I was sort of told very soon after after I left my teens from my 20s I was those words were never aligned to me attractive clean beautiful stylish sexy any of that actually the total opposite I'm so sorry that you felt like that because I completely disagree with that with that sentiment and I think that that's you know institutional racism at play And I hate that you felt like that because you've always been, you know, very stylish, beautiful and cutting edge and brave and daring.

And I think those are the things that people were scared of. So fuck them and fuck them for making you feel like that. I hate it. I hate hearing it. Yeah, it was fucking horrible. But it was it was quite hard with Pop World because Pop World was such a special, unique, nuanced experience that I felt I'd created with my best friend Simon and then we decided to leave and the next week they decided to join all the studios and I was hosting T4. I was a bit discombobulated because I'd just left the first show I'd ever done for five years and Alexa Chung and Alex Zane were anointed as the new

hosts and they were very clean and very thin, very groomed and Simon had left so I was sort of left in this kind of funeral home of my show with this new jazzy set and all this like kind of I had to throw to pop world. I had to throw to pop world. I had to be like, and here's pop world. And it was a head fuck. I was only 21. And the next few years were very difficult because Alexa's fame and everything she did in the world really rose and rose. And I just sank and sank. And I used to always see it as a comparison of like, look what you could have done with the opportunities you were given, but you didn't, you fucked up, you didn't deserve it. And it took me a really long time to get out of that. But now we're peers and

equals and sorry the other night, Groomies, lovely to see her. Actually, we had a really nice text exchange around her 40th birthday because I couldn't go and I texted her and I said, I'm so sorry, but I send you so much love and light for this fucking huge new decade. Can you believe we're 40? She said, I know, so old. And I said, yes, we are, Alexa, but oh, so powerful. And it was a really nice moment to just be like, you are so powerful and I feel that I am too. And we both do really different things and that's a beautiful thing.

That is real acceptance and that is growth and that is age. And I like that now, because I don't wanna pit myself up against anyone because no one can do what I want to do like me. Like you said. God. God.

Shit. You took me there. I'm really pleased that you got that out. I'm really pleased that you said that out loud. I think it's important for people to hear. And also, there was institutional racism at play. I remember all of that stuff that happened around, you know, radio stuff at the time. And it was, you know, there's not a shred of doubt in my mind that that was what was happening.

And so I don't want you to feel that you are central and responsible for all of that because you're not. You're really not. I never thought about it actually. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Love you. My pleasure. Well, not my pleasure, my pain, but I'm-

Yes, my pain, but comfort. Thank you for your comfort. And I think I know that now, which is why I was able to even come back and try and have a career again. Cause I was like, oh, it wasn't me. It was you, you bastards. I wasn't my shit at all

there was a little bit of your shit in there just a little bit of your I mean obviously I was a little bit of a reckless motherfucker as well but I believe I was driven there by the press same thing let's actually have a break because jealousy has got as deep as I thought it might and I do need a little break I'm gonna have a little herbal tea and come back and give you a big kiss down the lens well What say you to this plan? Safe blood, safe. See you after the break. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

Beautiful. Shall we have another question? Let's have another question. Hey, Lillian Makita, my name's Billy. I grew up in Essex, but now I live in Paris after meeting a lovely French woman and getting married. My question on jealousy is, do you think jealousy can ever be a good thing? Whether it's in a relationship and jealousy makes you

want someone more or realise how much you like them or if it's in a friendship and maybe you, you know, one of your best mates has done something and actually it pushes you to be a bit more ambitious then get off your arse and do it. I don't know the answer so I'm asking you. Baini. It's a little Lily Allen bye. I think you already answered that kind of, I think if you reframe jealousy and use it, you know, and are self-aware about where that jealousy is coming from

and how you can use it as a tool for self-improvement, then yes, but I think, you know, if it's jealousy in its purest form, no, because you're never gonna win. It's like turn your jealousy into like admiration and study, I remember when you were saying, oh God, I really fucking love what Phoebe Waller-Bridge is doing these days, this is like just before second series

of Fleabag came out, and I was like, I know, God, isn't she fucking kidding me, and we could have been like fucking bit, but it was admiration and definitely a driver for me to know that I wanted to write smart, brilliant television and that smart, brilliant television does always resonate with people. You don't have to dumb down and spoon feed shit. So I think that it's about turning into something else and turning into a fuel to do something with rather than letting it sit in your heart

and fester and become the yeast and whatever that description of actual old school jealousy and the origins of it is fermentation You know what some fermented jealousy hanging out like turn that into fuel for your fire for your life for your power Turn that yeast infection into a yeast injection. I Couldn't have put it better or I don't think any Harley Street doctor could have put it better. Thank you. Let's have another question for Listen Bitch.

This Spanish guy, is he Spanish? Maybe Italian. Called Miguel was at this party and he was like, I love, I love Miss Me. Listen, bitch. And he said, it's so great. I'm going to try and get him to voice note it so that he can say, can we have another question for Listen Bitch? But I'll just say it like me. Can we have another question for Listen Bitch?

Hi, Lillian Makita. My name's Kitty and I'm sending you a voice note all the way from Saudi. My question is, what is the weirdest thing that you have been jealous of someone else? For example, when I was in primary school, a girl I went to primary school with had a big bump on her lip and I was so jealous of it that I used to scrunch my lip up and pinch my lip all day to try and get that bump and looking back on it, it was pretty random. So yeah, that's my question of the podcast. Bye. Thanks, babe. This isn't jealous, but my mum, I really fucked off that she didn't give me this in her jeans. She's got this gap between her two front teeth. I just think it's so gorgeous and

cute, but it's not something I was given. I've always been quite jealous of my mum having that on her face. And I feel like if it's your mum, it should have come to you. And I did talk to her about getting dental surgery where you can have it implanted in the middle. You would look weird with that please don't. I think I'd look so cute. No you'd look weird. I think I'd look gorgeous. Madonna's got it as well but then my mum reminded me that I was very lucky because I have a beauty spot above my lip like Marilyn Monroe and Auntie Nana and I was was like, cool, you're right. I was jealous of anyone that had a broken limb.

I wanted a cast. So that you could just be in rehabilitation. No, I don't know why. I just was like always fascinated by casts. I was like, I want one of those. Didn't you get one? Didn't you break it under that was Alfie after skiing. Alfie broke, yeah, he had a cast. So have you ever completed this dream?

Touch wood. It's not something that I want anymore, but at the time when I was a kid I definitely was like, hmm. Why are they getting all the attention? Because people would sign them, you know, like people would write on their casts, get a bit of attention. Yeah, this is based on attention. This is based on attention casts, just get a bit of attention. Like, I don't know. This is basic attention. This is basic attention, I totally get it.

An arm cast, I don't think I'd really want a leg cast. I think an, oh yeah, you know, the arm one. I've never broken a limb and I wouldn't want to just for a cast. I broke my little finger and I had a pin put in my little finger once because me and Sarah got in a fight and my little finger got caught in her hair

and she yanked her head and it snapped my finger literally separated from my hand. One of the tamer sibling fights from the past I must say. Just a little broken finger. Oh my god do you remember that gas table that we had in St. Peter's Street and I remember my mom had called and she was like I'm on my way home I'm on 38 bus and me and Sarah were lying on the sofa like sort of side by side but we were having a fight and I just lifted up my foot and went like this right in the middle of her face and she got two black eyes and there was more blood than I have ever seen in my life. Oh my gosh.

All over that table we knew that we had like 15 minutes till my mom was home. She just had like blood spurting out of her nose. Lizzie, yeah it did get quite physical, the Alan fights. It was always quite physical. Fuck, actually you guys used to kick the shit out of each other. Not a lot of hugging, but a lot of kicking and punching. Maybe it's always saying, I love you. Maybe.

What about in the siblings? I mean, I remember when we were growing up, there was a jealousy with Sarah, but I always thought it was because Sarah was older than you and her and Alison had had those few years before you were alive, kind of old school jealousy like that. I know this is a very, very deep, dark place. I'm trying to be really like casual.

Should we talk about your school days with Sarah? Like, siblings. Cause I don't feel like there's much, many issues over there. Um... No, nothing. Um, no, everything's fine. No, but it's interesting because you've got Sarah who was born first, right? And then there's this big five year gap.

Is that how much older Sarah is than you? Five years? Yeah, she's five years older than me. And then it's's you and then Alfie a year later so yeah but there was jealousy on both sides it wasn't just a scientist era but I don't think it was jealousy with Alfie that was more like competitive no Alfie was like a fucking nightmare child and took up a lot of time and everyone's attention. So I don't think I necessarily acknowledged it as being jealousy at the time. As an adult, I can see that I was yearning for the attention that he was taking up. Does one just get lost as the middle child?

I mean, I certainly did, for sure. I felt like I was fighting for attention the whole time, but not really, also because both my parents were so busy and had so much going on in their lives that I felt A, like I wanted attention, but B, also aware that if they were pushed too far, then we would be sent away somewhere. All right, pushed too far to love you?

No, like too demanding or too needy. So if I asked for too much, then you know, it would, my mom would become overwhelmed or my dad would become overwhelmed and it would be like, right, we're gonna send them to their grandparents or something. Right, right. So it was like this tight rope of like wanting attention,

but also not trying too hard to get it because there was a risk of abandonment essentially. Fucking hell right, although we go, found that then, jackpot. Yeah, so it was like, you know, a childhood sort of trying not to put my head too far above the parapet because there was a risk of being sort of sent away.

But then, you know, I got to, you know, my teenage years and my early twenties and then it was like, whoa, now she's taking up a lot of space. Yeah. How do we deal with that? No, brought a lot brought it's a whole load of other complications. That's why you became your sisters there, I think. Yeah.

Because you were a bit lost in your own family, even though we are all one big fucking massive family. But I think- Listen, I love my family very dearly, but it's very complex and very, yeah, convoluted and layered. Fuck yeah, haven't we gone deep today? It's like whiplash. No, can we stop? Can we stop?

Can we stop? Do we have to do another question? No, come on, let's have another question. I'm intrigued to know what else you can ring out of us today. Hi, Lillian Makita. My name is Molly. I come from South Wales. My question on jealousy is to do with relationships.

I feel like I am a little bit of a jealous person in relationships and I hate it. And I think it comes from a little bit of self-esteem issue. My boyfriend on the other hand is the most un-jealous person in the world and yeah I've never really seen him get jealous in the two and a half years we've been together and my question to you is sometimes I feel like I kind of want him to get a little bit jealous and I don't know whether this is, again, quite toxic of me. Um, I don't want him to be, you know, super jealous and controlling,

but I would like it if he kind of showed a little bit of like, oh, that's my woman kind of vibe. So my question is, do you feel like you would prefer your partner to show a teeny bit of jealousy rather than at all or do you just think I'm a toxic bitch? So yeah, let me know. Love the podcast. Love you both very, very much. I love hearing someone say I love you very much with a Welsh accent. Hard relate. Really? Oh really? Yes, yes.

What, you like jealousy in a relationship from your partner? Not too much, but a little bit, yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think a bit like that's my woman. No, no. I don't want ownership. I don't want someone to feel like they own me but I would like you know if like someone else is flirting with me then just like a little bit of discomfort. God. Yeah. Just like I've got to work a little bit harder to get her attention back. Yes, okay, playing in that realm. I haven't been in a long-term relationship for so long, I've forgotten what it's like

to fuck with a partner. Throw up with their head a bit. I don't, I think I was just always so scared of, like, the longest relationship I had. I was always so scared of losing him that I was just, I lived in constant jealousy and fear. But I was right, because he was sleeping with loads of other people. So kind of validated when I found that out. Also, somewhat relieving. But yeah, Ellie, who I work with, said something to me.

I said, what do you think about jealousy when she was here just before? And she said, well, she it's changed how she thinks about it. Being in the relationship she's in now. She's actually engaged, lovely Kieran, the greatest man to have ever walked the earth. And before with her ex-boyfriend, she was just lived in a constant perpetual state of jealousy.

And in this relationship, she doesn't give a shit. And Kieran's actually very sociable. And if she was going to be jealous in a relationship, probably this one, because he's so out there. He talks to everyone, everyone loves Kieran. So it's about, I think, how you feel in your relationship, how safe do you feel? And if you do want a bit of jealousy in it, that's cool,

but if it starts to feel toxic, that might be about how safe you're actually feeling. Yeah, if you're needing it more. And no, I'd never call you a toxic bitch. Thank you for being honest about how you really feel. It's not toxic, it's just human. Feel those feelings, babe. Bloody homo sapiens. Feel those feelings.

Do animals get jealous? No. Dogs do? No. Birds don't, but dogs do. Dogs get jealous? Okay, prove it. We'll do some research.

Why don't you ask for the last question? Is it last question? Cause I'm a little hot under the collar. We have our last question please. Listen bitch. Last question please. Hi Lillian Mekita. This is Amy from Canada.

In terms of your topic jealousy, which really resonated with me, Lillie, was your song Back to the Start and like how I've always felt that about a cousin. So you want to understand was that song about jealousy? Thank you. Love you guys. Bye. Go back to the start. That song was about my sister, Sarah. Oh, well, there you motherfucking go. I remember when you played it to me for the first time and you were like, that's about Sarah. And I was like, shut up.

Yeah. Yes. So was it like, shut up. Yeah. Yes. So was it easier, not to Parkinson, you just bring the mic a little closer. Was it easier to talk about those things in a song? I find everything easier to talk about in my music and, and creativity, you know, in creative ways than I do person to person. I'm getting better at it. But- Lil, I just realized the lyrics though, it's so nice.

It's all about like, can we just go back to the start and try it again? Yeah. Oh, I'm a bit emotional today. That's what makes me want to cry. Your new periods, babe. It's just finished, so I don't know what's wrong with me. Yeah.

That song was about, yeah about jealousy, I guess. I definitely harboured a lot of strong feelings towards my sister. Things were very complicated between me and her and continue to be. But life is a journey and we're all making a lot of progress in my family. I'm very proud of us all actually. We're all doing a lot of work on ourselves and it's bringing us closer together. I even texted my dad the other day. Just checking in and said I'm in London next week if you fancy a coffee. He said I'm on tour.

But, and then I reached out with some other dates and then he didn't get back to me, but I will follow up. He's a little bit like me with the texts. But. I'm proud of you. Yeah, it's funny. I actually shared it in a meeting the other day. Like, I'm so used to living in isolation and in my own head and, you know,

disconnecting from people and being sad that like actually engaging and communicating with people like feels manic to me. Like if I'm like, you know, moved to call my mom or my sister or my dad or my friends or friends, friends I haven't spoken to in a long time, there's something in me that goes like, what are you doing you weirdo? Why are you calling people?

Yeah. It's such a beautiful thing to do. People really love to hear from you. I know, and I just don't do it. I'm just so used to like lying in bed and reading books or watching TV, yeah. Being sad. Oh, we're gonna wrench you out of that a little bit

this year, you got the new flat in London. Going to get you out there. I got my new antidepressants. Everything is gravy. We are armed and ready to go. New me, baby. Prozac little. So it's nice in our family that like, because there's so many of us

and we are all kind of one big organism. So, for instance, like, yeah, you're saying that it's complicated with you and Sarah, but Sarah is in turn very close to cousin Phoebe. And I feel like that happens in our family quite a lot, like when they're all- It's true, I didn't know that. Yeah, because of France. Fucking hell.

They're like very close. You learn something new every day. Yeah, the kids are like, where's Auntie Sarah? Shut up. Yeah. Oh. Oh, now I'm jealous. It's okay, isn't it? Still get jealous. Yeah. Oh. Oh, now I'm jealous. It's okay, isn't it?

Still get jealous. I wasn't trying to make you jealous. I was trying to say our family are very connected and always love each other. And that will be the driving force of me reconnecting with Phoebe and her children. Bit of healthy old sibling rivalry. Turn that yeast into something else. God, we've learnt a lot today. Yeast infection to a yeast injection. Is that, should we just call it that? Should we just call it that?

Turn that yeast infection into a yeast injection. Yeah, this is slightly more a nuanced Listen Bitch title. Next week we're going to do something profound. No, it's not profound, but it's just something I really want to do. We're going to talk about the theme for next week's Listen Bitch is... Oh wow. I see. Yeah, because we are a female led production, although Persephoneca is a male led company. Sorry, Dino and Will and Jonathan. We are the figureheads of this show.

And Floss, yeah. And Floss. But we are aware that we do have a lot of male listeners and we thought we would venture into thinking about them for once. Yeah, I don't want to now we're at the top. We don't want to leave anyone out. And I really love that loads of people, like my husband listens, my son listens, my brother listens. So this is basically Miss Me. I don't really know what it is but I know

it's a space for kind of truth, honesty and vulnerability and safety. And also in the wake of our award-winning we are very aware that we live in a patriarchal world and there's nothing that the patriarchy hates more than women doing well. So we thought we would appeal to the patriarchy and make it all about them. Welcome to Listen Bitch, every man that ever lived. The theme is balls. Do with that what you will. It's up to you. Also women, of course, anyone, anyone could get in touch. But I just want all men to know that we are talking to you today.

We love you. We love you. Thanks for keeping us on top Thanks for putting us right on the top spot. Just to clarify we do mean testicles There will be other times to talk about sport. This is not the time This is unless you were injured in New York testicles in sport, but this is this testicle based. Hmm We don't want to push anyone what will come will come Literally from the balls theme. Well people can get in touch by WhatsApping us on 08000 304090. That's 08000 304090.

Alright Lily Poo, I'm going to go. Oh my god I'm going to see you. This week you're coming home, you're coming to London. I'm coming to London tomorrow. We haven't had a hug in quite a while and it's been quite a tricky few months so get ready for me. I will bring my deodorant. Love you. I love you. See you soon.

See you soon. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. They were the toy of the late 90s. This Christmas it's Furby. Furry, lovable and oh so cute. But what if those Furbies had a secret? Rumours swirled that these creatures were a cover for something much, much darker, so they got banned. In the new series of Joanne McNally Investigates, I'm going to ask, were these little guys

spies? Just crazy stuff would start happening. We'll get to the bottom of this scandal, an attempt to track down the brains behind the toy, which caused so much suspicion. A fugitive, a Furby fugitive. I have no comment. Joanne McNally investigates. Did Furby spy on us?

Listen on BBC Science.