Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Beggies Can’t Be Losers

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about beg friends. Have they ever had any famous beg friends? What have been their beggiest moments? Do they think it’s beggy to DM a celebrity?Next week, we want to hear your questions about INTELLIGENCE. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan HaskinsMiss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. This week's Listen Bitch contains very strong language and adult themes, but don't worry, we're going to have a good time. okay hello people what's going on welcome to this week's listen bitch hi keats hi keats how's it going keats pretty good yeah yeah what? I love you. I think you're so great. Oh!

I just want to tell you how much I just think you're really, really great. An example of quite an outwardly beg friend, which is today's Listen Bitch theme. You heard me. The theme is beg friend or beg friends. Beg friend. It can be just an energy. Beggy, beg, beg friends.

Yeah, yeah. Now, I don't want to sit here and give you the history of the beg friend. It can be just an energy. Beggy, beg, beg friends. Yeah, yeah. Now, I don't want to sit here and give you the history of the beg friend. I don't want to start getting out the dictionary. I don't think we have to explain it to people. They just know. People know what a beg friend is, okay? I'm going to sit here and tell you. We're just going to get our first question.

Hi, Lily and Makita. This is Paul coming to you from surprisingly sunny Glasgow today. And my question is in relation to beg friend energy. So this isn't a phrase I've really sort of heard of before, but I think I sort of get the concept of it. But I was just curious, is there any sort of like key indicators or behaviours you can look out for in terms of knowing that someone's given big friend vibes

yeah and if so have you got any good examples of this from your sort of personal experiences would love to hear oh my god wait i love a scottish accent saying big friend energy that was good big friend energy it's not really something I've ever heard of. As the Scottish person in the podcast, I wish I could do a Scottish accent like you, but I just can't. No. Can't have it all, babes.

Anyway, yes. Oh, absolutely. Clues. Clues to the big friend energy. And you're right. Exactly. It's an energy. I mean, I think it exists in a

really different way now the internet has played a big part in how people kind of purvey their beg friend energy now uh it's kind of a latching on jumping on to shit uh you can smell it a mile off i'll tell you a good indicator of it is you know when you like contact someone or someone contacts you and then you don't respond to that thing and then like a couple of days later they'll send you a message so they're like just following up on this it's like no I know that's why I ignored you and when you keep following up that's the begging beggy beggy or like in the old days like when a friend's like what are you guys up to tonight and you sort of like don't want them to come and you don't really tell them but then they're there when you get there that's begging it

just begging it oh that is yeah i think i've done that sometimes hey guys where's the party oh my god so weird seeing you here i totally knew you were gonna be here that's why i'm here and the reason we can dissect the beg friend energy is because we've both been beg friends but I don't

do that anymore. Really? No. What's the fucking point? Who the fuck would I beg friend now at the age of 40 years old? I would beg friend

Charlie XCX. Yes. I have been beg friending Charlie XCX. I'm a beg friend. That's okay. So is Kamala Harris. It's absolutely fine.

It's quite, quite high tiered in the Begfriend energy. You and Kamala. So I hope that's explained it, darling. And now you'll get it. Let's get into this. Next question, please. Hi, Makita. Hi, Lily.

Love the podcast and love you both too now I have a drag-esque name for the Beggy breed which I refer to as Beggy Mitchell is there someone in the past who's been dismissive of you and the way that you felt and then at a later point has turned into the ultimate Beggy Mitchell. And how did you tell them to get out of your pub? I feel really bad bringing these people out. You go first. No, I haven't got one. I mean, I know that they're in there, but I just have to think of them.

So you go first and then hopefully it'll pop into my little tiny brain. I mean, I would say everyone between uh 2010 to 2020 who um dropped me apart from you you never did I never dropped you I lost a lot of people I think a lot of people lost a lot of respect for me for a long time I lost a lot of respect for myself and I wasn't living right. And I kept kind of like, let's say I had a lot of beg friends, which I did. I wouldn't call them beg friends,

I called them people I kept around and allowed the begging. And then they were the first crowd to go when I went bankrupt and things, when things were sort of publicly bad. And then I started to lose real people like simon amstel one time said to me like i'm not gonna keep saying i'm gonna come meet you if you're not gonna turn up so that was like a difference you know and like your life kind

of fucks up and you kind of go i don't really care about those people oh shit i'm losing people i care about and then in the last five years i'd say maybe 70 of those people have got in touch and i have no time for them so yeah i cannot name names in this instance i wouldn't want to there's so many there is actually so many you know that two years ago seven seven ex-boyfriends got in touch with me through different forms of communication some on instagram something like long emails someone like just text it was really quite strange all in one year so strange told them all to go fuck themselves i didn't i was very kind there was one person that i fell out with quite monumentally uh just after the sort of she's this era um we were working together and but we were also close friends and then

uh it sort of coincided with the breakdown of my marriage and then yeah that person was quite happy to sort of like sit and point the finger at me and like watch my demise and point and laugh about you know what sort of step downward spiral that I was on and then recently since this podcast has been going quite well I've heard from several people that they have been um you know asking how's Lily I really miss her it'd be really great if we could get back in touch again and oh I really regret what happened all that kind of stuff what do you feel about it I mean they haven't like been beggy to me but I don't I also just like the way that that person's gone about it is I'm just not into it.

I don't need it. I'm really happy. I've got a great life. I've got great friends. I don't need that energy. It's nice to be on the other side of beg friendiness, isn't it? Like see it, notice it, move on. Like it's just the baitness of the beg friend is true is real i only ask for the next

question can we have another question please hi lily and makita it's kat from ken my question this week is about beg friends i was wondering if you've ever had any famous beg friends maybe if they've been jealous of your level of fame or if they've just wanted to get to you to bring you down or if they've just wanted to get more fame out of you. Yeah, I was wondering if you've ever had any kind of surprise beg friends who are actually famous. So you were surprised they were jealous of you. Thanks. Yeah, James Corden was a bit of a beg friend for me. He came on.

James Corden came on my chat show and was like very flirtatious with me and we sort of made friends and I introduced him to a group of my friends and I don't really remember it because that whole period of time was a bit hazy but I believe that he wrote about it in his book that you know that I was like leading him on or something which I definitely wasn't no we hung out with him for like a week I think in his mind maybe it went on a bit longer but yeah I'd say if I ever had a famous beggy friend it was it was James Corden back in the day he's not begging me anymore I'm not begging him either but yeah exactly exactly it's now mutual non-beg which is an adult place that everyone's arrived at. I can't do anything for him now. He's good.

And he knows it, so he's not sniffing around here. Can we have another question, please? Hi, Makita and Lily. I'm Ella. I'm from Boston, the original Boston in Lincolnshire. Loving the podcast. Thank you very much for this. It's like a public service.

Beggy friends. So my question is, as a celebrity, do you find it strange when people that you don't know, fans, followers, send you direct messages on Instagram? Because I have done this at times and felt like I am a beg friend. So, yeah, message me back I don't think it's beggy at all actually I really really like it and and I don't reply to all of them because I get quite a lot so if you've ever written messages to me and I haven't responded it's not because I think that you're beggy at all it's just because I also have really bad ADHD and as soon as something else happens I'm like distracted and I forget to respond to everything but I don't know about you Makita but like I do what I do because I like to bring people together I do it with my music and I

do it with this podcast and I've did it with my book you know I really I get a lot of shit from uh you know people and from mainstream media outlets for uh sharing my views in such an open way and it's really really nice when people get in touch and tell me that things resonate with them and that they have been affected by the things that we've spoken about or something that I've written about. So no, I absolutely do not think that it is remotely beggy at all. In fact, I really like it and it actually really keeps me going because I see so much negativity that the positivity really helps. So if you're ever considering sending me nice messages of support

or just that something resonated with you then go ahead send me more i love it i totally agree but everything that people say particularly about miss me i just think it's so lovely um not beggy at all just feeling um the shit we're talking about which means a lot would you think if you dm someone on instagram that you were interested in like romantically that would be beg friendly no i think that would be like common sense it's like that it's just connecting with somebody that you're interested in okay i'll think about it i think if you did it and then they didn't respond and then you fought kept following up then it might be turning into Beggy. But no, I think the first time was the point. Do you know what I know how to do?

Take a hint. I'm really good at taking a hint. You know, like end of parties and like people want you to leave a house or something. I can't quite believe how much people don't understand that energy sometimes. Like, obviously I want you to get the fuck out of here. I don't know that you're necessarily that good

at taking that hint because you've been in my living room a few times. No, but you're... A little bit too long. Your family, I'll say when I'm leaving your fucking yard, I'm talking about, like, other people. Please, I'm not a guest. Tell me when to leave.

What? OK. I'll wait for Auntie Alison to kick me out, okay? Three in the afternoon. I'm saying. Love you, Annie. I love you, Alison. I love you so much.

Okay. All right, let's move on. Let's move on. Let's have another question for this week's Listen Bitch. The theme is beggy friend. Like eggy bread. Hey, Lily and Makita. It's Barney from Tottenham here lily you have a song

on your album she's us called instant silly yours where you sing about these parties that you'd attend and you'd be photographed mingling and chatting with other celebrity guests and you kind of spilt the tea that everyone is paid to attend these parties and these celebrities that you're mingling with, you don't actually know, you don't really care to know them, um, or care what they're saying. So my question is, who is the most random celebrity that you've been photographed with at an event? Maybe it was a party, a fashion show. Um, and what was that conversation like like what are you talking about when you're photographed with them thanks see you soon well actually no I won't see you because you don't know me but um bye Barney maybe I'll see you in Tottenham if I see you say yes yes

um I love that question one thing I do hate and sorry this is maybe a little unrelatable because we don't all go to fashion shows but the chat on a row at a fashion show is difficult and it's like it's worse than a wedding because it's like you're everyone can see you and you're next to someone like usually incredibly famous and incredibly intimidating and you've got to make it's not even small talk it's like a different frequency of small talk it's actually one of my worst things in the world i hate it so much i have to also there's this thing that happens when you go to those events where basically there's like you know sort of these top tier like celebrity like social photographers there's one called richard young there's another one called dave b social photographers there's one called Richard Young there's another one

called Dave Bennett there's a few of them that you sort of recognize and what they will do is they will obviously a photo of like two celebrities is more valuable than a photo of one celebrity so they quite often will walk up to you and they'll be like Lily can you have a photo with so-and-so and you're like um and i always have the fear because i'm always like no one wants to be associated with me so i think they're wanting to say no so i kind of like do this like weird like sort of thing not wanting to have their photograph with you of course not yeah because i don't know i feel like people might not want to be like in the newspapers with me uh who was that was a really weird one quite recently that i it was like one of the real housewife like one of the real legend oh i know who it was um the mom of the yeah lisa

renner lisa renner yes lisa renner yes yeah suddenly like at all like couture shows yes so Dave Bennett was like Lily can you have a photo with Lisa and I was like she doesn't know I don't really know well that's good then she won't have any prejudgment she'll just be like sure let's do it that is exactly what she did she's a professional she would have had no time for my nonsense. But, yeah. I'd like to talk about a relationship of the past that hasn't come up

and missed me unbelievably, which is your relationship with Lindsay Lohan. Oh, yeah. Which was from, I will say, yesteryear.

I will say it again because I don't know any other way to describe that period of time. It was a long time ago. To be fair, we know Mark Ronson.

Mark Ronson's sister, Samantha Ronson, started going out with Lindsay Lohan. It's not that you seeked, you did not beg for a Lindsay Lohan. She was never just Lindsay to me.

We didn't get that far. Linz. And I would like to know, I've never asked this, you were sort of basically chaotically running around the world for about a year. Maybe six months

not with Lindsay Lohan yeah quite a few no I'd spent a lot of time in LA and whenever I go to LA I would hang out with her that was it and then maybe you were in Dubai at something together as well yeah I think so maybe but we there was one night where we'd been partying and I was staying at the Chateau Marmont Hotel which for people that don't know what that is, it's like a sort of legendary Hollywood hotel where lots of debauched things have happened. Anyway, I had like this sort of fancy room. She basically lived at that hotel on and off for a long time, but she wasn't at this time living there. But I was staying there and my managers had stationed my security outside my room because they knew how much living there but I was staying there and my managers had stationed my security

outside my room because they knew how much of a terrorist I was in terms of just like going out and partying for till the early hours of the morning and um and I had to be up for the next morning to be on um this something surgery with like Dr Drew I think his name was anyway it's like a radio show but it was but it was an early record. So it was like we had to get up and do hair and makeup at six o'clock in the morning or whatever. But Lindsay knew her way around the hotel. Lindsay climbed over the back wall of the hotel

into my garden where my room was. And she was like, come on, let's go out this way. So we escaped through the back and jumped over the wall and then went to the shamrock tattoo parlor on sunset boulevard and got matching uh friendship tattoos on our fingers that both said shh on it and i thought it was quite cool for about seven hours until i woke up the next morning and saw on Perez Hilton the headline Lily and Lindsay copy Rihanna oh no what like this couldn't be any worse that's literally the beggiest thing that I've ever done in my life is gone gone with Lindsay Lohan to beg friend Rihanna by getting

tattoos on her forefinger I've got the picture here Jesus Christ looks like a different time didn't it babe it was a different time um but anyway Lindsay and I it was quite fraught for a bit between the two of us I can't really remember why maybe because you know I was close to Samantha and things got a bit heated between them too but yeah uh but now things are really nice she texts me um you know sort of intermittently when she's around in New York she's yeah she's back now she's back on Netflix she's she's producing stuff she's very supportive on social media always likes my pictures and comments under things and um I love Linz and why do you think that Lindsay Lohan and I share such deep personality traits because I've never actually met her I

didn't even ever interview her but you were like she's you you're her and I'd just like to know what you mean by that because do you mean her just like sweet personality? No. Or her chaotic, crazy energy? It's the chaotic, crazy energy. It's like very much a nighttime thing. It was like, you know, when you're a little bit exasperated and a little bit had enough. And basically, I have nothing to offer you anymore. So there's a lot of like eye rolling. That kind of vibe.

Oh, my God. You andsey share that oh my god i get it now okay move on i get it when i'm like should we go i've ordered a cab we're gonna go to so-and-so's house i don't want to do that wow i get it oh my god i can't believe someone else possesses that so deeply. Okay. Yeah. And kind of husky voice, right? That'll do.

And a bit ginger. Yeah, and beautiful. Very beautiful. Absolutely. Thank you. I think it's time for a break. Break? Let's have a break. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet.

Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. And that was a nice break. Yeah. Here we are. I agree.

Back in the show. I agree with you. Back in the room. Okay. Let's see where we go next. Hi, gals. It is Jen here from Leicester. My question to you is,

what is your most embarrassing, cringiest memory of being a Beggy friend? I can honestly say I've been there. I feel like everyone has. And if they haven't, they're lying. Whether that's to seek validation or just to fit in or whatever. Absolutely obsessed with the pod girls.

Please do let us know. Love ya. Oh God. Yeah. Let's hear it from you, Makita Oliver. One thing I would like to say is I really can't stand a big crowd, which is people that move in a crowd to be more powerful, even if they don't have any interest or like for each other,

but they know that it's more powerful to be in this bullshit gang. Oh, wow. I know exactly who you're talking about. I really can't stand that energy um i personally am a lone wolf uh but i have i have um lone wolf makita i think of myself as sort of a roving wolf um no but i have been as i've said in previous episodes i was a lot more obsessed with popularity when we were little. And I mean little because I mean sort of like 11, 12, 13.

It was very important to me to be talking to the right people. 36. It was like two years ago. No. And no, I really let that go in my mid-30s. Come the fuck on. I'm just joking. And we all have crews or crowds that we supposed to want to be part of.

But I was just a lot more bait about it. And Phoebe and Lily just weren't. Or maybe the crowds they were trying to be part of weren't so sort of kind of uptight or boundarified to get into. I don't know. But I definitely felt baiter constantly about my plans, as it were. But the most biggie friend i think we'll just go with um lily and lindsey lohan that's when lily was at her most beg no i was not just the rihanna bit of it was the beggy bit oh right that's what i wanted to ask in that friendship did it feel like anyone was begging anyone was lindsey begging you were you begging her or were you just aligned?

No, we just sort of ended up together. I don't think there was any begging us, to be honest. Spiritually, I'm not a beg friend and neither are you, Lil. And I think if spiritually you're not and you're meant to be not begging, then you will just kind of notice it quickly and stop and it will just become something you did once.

I think if I've ever been beggy, it's usually related to drugs and acquiring them. I remember once being in, I think it was Brazil, and I was on a festival with the band Kasabian. And I knew that they were like partying in their hotel room. They don't take drugs, Lily. I'm not insinuating that they do. But I remember there was like, you know know there was a party back at their room and I remember heading to the the room and then knocking on the door and them clearly knowing that I was on

the other side of it and them not letting me in and um yeah yeah it was such a nightmare in those days well like blanked not even blanked like colded out by Kasabian yeah exactly yeah because I was Beggy I was being a Beg friend exactly begging doesn't get you what you want in all parts of life I once got in a fight with someone famous at a festival in Australia and my I got to know the Kasabian boys quite well over the course of a few summers because we were always like releasing albums at the same time so we'd be on the same schedules at festivals and stuff and my trailer was next to theirs and this other person's trailer was on the other side and I got in a fight with this other person and like went into their trailer and like started kicking off and the Kasabian boys had to like come in and drag me

out but sort of to protect you from yourself. Literally picked me up off of the floor, like kicking and screaming. I was like, I'm going to fucking kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him. Oh, I know who it is. Okay. I was very drunk. Oh, but that's nice of Surgeon Tom to be like,

she needs help. You're all right. You're all right, Les. This is going to go well. You know what I mean? Nice, four nice Leicester boys come get you. Can we have another question, please? Hi, Lily. Hi, Makita.

Long-time listener, first-time caller. I wanted to ask this question because I actually don't have that much sympathy for beg-friend culture. Do you know what I mean? I actually don't have a lot of time for those that love to beg-friend. Nevertheless, there are times when you're like

texting everyone what you're doing on friday what you're doing on friday and you sense that there's a bit of a dinner party situation happening that you don't have the invite for is it ever okay do you think to sort of beg friend your way onto the guest list and say please can i actually come to that i hear this is happening or do you think that you just have to play it cool, accept that there's not room for everyone at every dinner table, and hope that you'll be invited next time? Yeah, what degree of a social faux pas do you think that is? Okay.

Do you think it's ever all right to beg friend your way? No, because if you beg, guess what you get? Bread crumbs. If you turn the other way if you beg guess what you get breadcrumbs if you turn the other way you'll get a loaf of bread wow the ancient proverb if you beg you get breadcrumbs no seriously that is the all i have to say on it in anything work social stuff relationship stuff anything any relationship in your life, don't beg because you will only receive breadcrumbs. What you want is a bakery.

Look the other way and go down the street and find a bakery. Yeah, I mean, maybe the thing is there's definitely been things that I haven't been invited to that I've blagged my way into. I don't think that I've necessarily begged. I've, like, pretended to be somebody else and got in. Interesting. And that's worked for me. I've had some good nights at places that I wasn't supposed to be somebody else and got in. And that's worked for me. I've had some good nights at places that I wasn't supposed to be. That's true.

That's very true. Actually, you have to just change the energy. You're not a beg friend. You're a hustler. A hustler. You're a hustler. So you're just crashing because you are a hustler. You're not some beg friend.

Yeah. That's all you've got to do. Change the language and the approach and you're in. Reframe. It's a reframe. It's a reframe. It's a complete reframe. Oh my God.

Me and Emily Ann Sonnet once had a night at the Spotted Pig in New York City where Jay-Z turned up. And I was definitely, that was probably my most beggy I've ever been in my entire life. Yeah, but come on. This is another subject. Who's it okay to beg for him? I think it's okay to beg for him, Jason. He really wasn't having it. He could see through my begginess. And he was really, really wanting to be chatty with Emily.

And it drove me absolutely fucking insane. I was like, I've just done SNL. But he was really, I think he'd just done something with Amy Winehouse. He was like very much, you know, into her and the music. And I was like the other British one that wasn't really very interesting. And- I do know this story.

Guess who tells this story a lot? Emily Hanson. There's a picture somewhere. There's a picture of me, Jay-Z, Emily, I think Samantha Ronson and a bunch of other people. But yeah, I remember like it was just at the time that Umbrella came out. And I remember being like really drunken high and like singing Umbrella, but like replacing the words with something else. And just being just generally the most embarrassing person you've ever met in your entire life.

And I would like to write it out of my personal history, but instead I'm going to share it for the sake of this show. You're incredible. Okay, do you want to ask for the penultimate question, darling? Can we have the penultimate question, please? Beautiful. Hi, Lily and Nikita. This is Charlie here from South Devon. I unfortunately have been going through cancer treatment for the last seven months or so,

breast cancer. And it's been an interesting one from a friend's perspective because all sorts of people have come out of the woodwork and it's lovely. It's really, really nice and it's really great to get support and well wishes and everything. But within the kind of cancer community I guess you would say there is this phenomenon around grief tourists and yeah there's definitely been some people in my life who weren't particularly good friends who have come out to seemingly support me but there could also be a thought around that maybe they are trying to align themselves with me and

everything that I'm going with to show that they are being supportive I guess but yeah sometimes it doesn't necessarily seem that genuine so my question to you guys is have you been through anything in your life where people have suddenly started showing up under the pretense of helping you or being there or caring for you or wanting to be friends with you but potentially it's actually not necessarily genuine yep what yes you have oh god jesus yes you have i have there are certain people in my life that are when things are going well they're just absolutely nowhere to be seen. And then when things are not going well, suddenly they're there and it doesn't even really feel like they're there to help. It's like they're there to witness. Like it makes them feel better to see me struggling.

and that is quite painful. I also really understand that sort of like chief grief officer mentality as well. I've seen it. Like my ex-husband's brother died last year, and his mum died a couple of years before that, and there's been a lot of death in that side of the family. You know, Sam's other brother died, you know, many, many years ago. And there are, yeah, certain sort of characters that really relish in the, yeah, chief grief position.

Yeah. When you lost George, did you feel like that happened? Did you feel like people just ran away? I think that I switched off. I disconnected so much that I didn't get it because I, to switch my phone off and unlock myself in the room and cried for about a year but I always find that when people are struggling through things what what people actually want is a bit of humor and they

don't really need the um you know little tiny violins right you know like my friend uh recently had breast cancer and she had to have a mastectomy and she really appreciated it when i called her up and i just said well you know your tits weren't great anyway to be honest she just like do you know what i mean she she she was like thank god somebody's like yes joking with me about it like i'm so used to everyone being like oh poor you and that's nice but it's also nice when someone you know approaches it differently I mean my ex-husband's sister-in-law her husband died at the um you know back end of last summer and uh when she'd come down to the countryside when I lived in Gloucestershire she would um there was this big black Chanel cloak that I had and she'd

always wear it when we went out on these country walks and actually she's a writer and she wrote an article about you know her attachment to this cloak and so when Barney died I actually got the coat out of storage and when I came to the funeral I had it in the boot of my car and she had like a couple of minutes and I brought her out to the car and I just said you know I think this is really going to help you in your widow era yeah but but that is exactly exactly what she would have needed exactly what she wanted and she wore the fuck out of that cloak she's she's been wearing that Chanel cloak like yeah it's definitely her widow cloak she's a Scottish widow yeah quite you're quite good in those kind of situations like if I felt like I know actually when I've been really going through something you don't come to spectate you

come to help I haven't really got time for like all of those sort of like airs and graces like I've you know there are people that I care about and that I want to support and I try and think about the best way that I can support them and it doesn't very often... I'm not really entertaining the sort of sitting around and being sad. I've been there myself. It doesn't help. I think that, like, you know... Action and humour.

It's about energising and humour, exactly. Yeah, and also truth. We're not here that long. We're not here for long on this earth. So we've got to try and enjoy as much of it as we can. I miss you today. All right, let's have the last question. Let's have the last question. Can we get out of this alive?

Who knows? Hi, Lily and Nikita. This is Courtney. I'm from Hampshire, living in Bournemouth, relocating to Brixton for a big girl job. I am in a bit of a pickle because I'm going to Boomtown Festival and my friend has invited somebody who is a huge liability never has their own money sort of a bit of a scrounger really nice gal and I got really unhappy about it but

asked my dad for advice and he said, it's not all about you. But I just don't want to spend my time at a place where I've spent loads of money looking after someone or having it at the back of my head. Like, oh, have you ever had any friends like that? What kind of advice would you give? I don't want to ruin my experience. You're on the right page. No, do not. Oh, I disagree. No, no. I disagree on the right page. No, do not. Oh, I disagree.

No, no. I disagree. I just remembered I went to it was Pixie Geldof's wedding in Daya, in Mallorca. And I went with a few of our friends like Emily and Henry and stuff.

And then this girl pushed on us. No, like suddenly she was at the airport. She was like, I'm on your flight and we were like okay turns out to be the most annoying girl in the universe and then we get there and she's like no i don't have anywhere to stay and she's like meant to have grown up with pixie be a really old friend and suddenly she was like our responsibility for this entire wedding and she

got so wasted and then other people sort of forgot to look after so i really had to look after and i was like this has been so fucking unnecessary it has ruined this trip for me so put your barriers up now and be selfish it's your summer and you want to have a nice time she can go on holiday with other people she'll be fine i disagree with you on this one. Uh-uh. Come on, when you're away as well, someone who's scrounging cash

and doesn't have any of their shit together. Yeah, but if they're going to be there, if they're going to be on your trip, and that's unavoidable, I think you just have to lean into it, because if you put up the boundaries and you create the vibe, it's only going to ostracize that person further, and they're probably going to drink themselves into a stupor and become more of a

liability and more annoying i think if you like play a little game with yourself and be like maybe i'll just you know try and help this person it could actually be like quite entertaining and you might end up feeling quite good about yourself at the end of it. There you go. The angel on your shoulder and the devil on the other. Which way do you go? You decide. Very angelic answer of you, Lil. Really fucking diplomatic. Let's just wait till we're next going somewhere and I drag some big friend with me.

Let's see how fucking diplomatic you are then. Unbelievable. Okay. I hope we can help the world and the country for another week of Listen Bitch. Unbelievable. Okay. I hope we can help the world and the country for another week of Listen Bitch. Fuck. Oh my god. Yeah. I didn't think so.

Wait. I think I have a thing. I've got it. I've got it. Okay. She's got it. Get ready for fireworks. Get ready for explosions. Get ready for a good time. The theme for next week's listen bitch coming live and direct from lily allen in new york city is intelligence intelligence oh it's good to have you back. Intelligence, the mind. What is smart? What is stupid? I love this. I love

this. I love this. Yes, I will be doing some historical research about the origins of intelligence. No, we will not be doing that. We'll just be talking about intelligence. As two women who didn't finish school, who I believe to be very smart it's uh it's something i uh you know that can rattle me and i and i wrangle with often like am i smart or i'm not academic but am i smart do i have common sense etc exactly that's why i chose the subject i love it everyone can send their whatsapp messages to 08000 30 40 90 that's 08000 30 40 90 and on that note it's been a beautiful week uh great to see you lil you look great actually thank you glowy and thriving yeah it's been a good summer summer's been good to you it has so far it's not even over yet i've still got a week in British Columbia

and two weeks in Italy and a bit in LA and a bit in San Diego. Oh, she's everywhere. Well, I'll be in Scotland while you're in all those places. Well, have fun, babe. The contrast will continue. Excellent.

Thank you. Look forward to talking to you from Scotland. All righty. All righty then. We'll save this accent for then. Love you. Love you. Speak to you later you from Scotland. All righty. All righty then. We'll save this accent for then. Love you. Love you. Speak to you later.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. If you've been affected by anything raised in this episode, go to bbc.co.uk forward slash action line.

Who done it? Crime conundrums. Murderous mayhem. Why are you doing that voice? I'm just getting in the mood for our new podcast. Murder, they wrote. Hey, I'm Laura Whitmore. And I'm Ian Sterling.

Anyone who knows us knows we are obsessed with true crime. We're here with a new podcast exploring the dastardly deeds of history's most atrocious criminals. There'll be mystery, madness and moments of... Oh my God. Murder, They Wrote with Laura Whitmore and Ian Sterling. Listen on BBC Sounds. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night.

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