Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Bien sûr, l'intelligence

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about intelligence.Next week, we want to hear your questions about LILY ALLEN. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. This episode of Listen Bitch has some very strong language and adult themes. And women talking about their minds.

Mmm. Threatening. And women talking about their minds. Mmm, threatening. Hi, everybody. Hello, world. And welcome. It's that time of the week again. It's so loved, Listen Bitch, Lil. It really is.

No, maybe we should just fuck the other one off and do two Listen Bitches a week. Yeah, right. The way you come up with fucking themes. No thanks. The theme is, of course,

intelligence. And now, can we get it in French in honour of the Olympics? Bien sûr. Intelligence. Good. And now can we get it in French in honour of the Olympics? Bien sûr, intelligence! Very good, very good, Lil. Oui.

OK, the great thing about Listen Bitch is not just me and Lily chatting shit, you guys are doing it with us. Let's have a question. Hi, Lily Mikita, this is Kate, calling from south-east London, born and raised. I want to know what do you think the most important forms of intelligence are and which ones do you think you possess? So I think I'm quite good at like emotional intelligence or like being like very culturally

and politically like aware, but I'm absolutely shit at maths. Like I really panic at an an analog clock or like someone mentioning fractions it's not really my vibe my bag so yeah let me know yeah we got sent this list didn't we lil i want to say a couple linguistic intelligence the ability to use language effectively for reading writing and communication bingo got that one i think i'm quite good at that one one logical mathematical intelligence capacity for deductive reasoning problem solving for reading, writing and communication. Bingo. Got that one. I think I'm quite good at that one. One. Logical mathematical intelligence. Capacity for deductive reasoning,

problem solving and mathematical calculations. I am absolutely terrible at that one. Yeah, we are shit at maths. Next one. Spatial intelligence. The skill to visualise and manipulate objects and spaces in one's mind. Yeah, this is like you put a bit of furniture in a van to take to a flat and they go,

oh, that's not going to fit in there. And you're like, what do you mean? Actually, I'm quite a van to take to a flat and they go oh that's not gonna fit in there and you're like what do you mean actually i'm quite good at that yeah you are quite good at that i'm good at like figuring out how to get like 12 suitcases into a tiny car exactly then that's that one but i don't like people getting close to me what's that i don't know but you mathematically calculate how to keep yourself away from people at all times so musical intelligence the talent for understanding creating and performing music and rhythm i actually don't think oh shut the fuck up come on not if you're gonna lie i'm not doing this with you no because i think that i use my linguistic intelligence in music no but i don't think i am actually that musical but i think some of the things that made your songs huge were the fact that they sounded like nursery rhymes,

stay with me, in a way that they are harmonies and melodies. Just stay in your head. And they're like pleasing to sing to and listen to. You can sit on the fence for that one. Bodily kinesthetic. Yeah, kinesthetic, this one. Intelligence.

The aptitude to coordinate bodily movements and handle physical objects skillfully. Yes for me, tennis. That's right. Absolute no-no for me. Eye hand coordination, absolutely. Holding things. Yeah, yeah, well quite. For me. So you're actually against that kind of intelligence.

I'm anti that intelligence, yeah. Also, just not a great dancer. Bodily movements, I'm'm not there's a video of us dancing in kenya at our uncle charles's house no we're not no no but i was not going to post it now i'm going to post it as evidence that not only are you a great dancer you really enjoy it i can't believe you just said that don't be ridiculous next one interpersonal intelligence the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.

Yeah, I think I'm okay. We're doing it right now. I think I'm both good at that and terrible at that at the same time. But I think everyone might be. Last one. Intrapersonal intelligence, the capacity for self-awareness and self-reflection. Yeah, I think I'm too good at that. You're deep in that daily.

All right. you're deep in that daily all right emotional intelligence isn't on that list and i think it's a pretty important one call me crazy but i think it's quite an important one and the lady that asked the question did say that she felt she possessed quite high levels of emotional intelligence autumn i work with today 22 she is she said i think you have really high emotional intelligence now it really touched me i was like thank you it means a lot do you agree i do agree yeah okay that's something i'm really gonna hold i'd love to have great emotional intelligence and i don't think it's that old it's quite new it's quite new emotional intelligence yeah it's definitely something you've been working on for sure that's right. I don't know if it's necessarily instinctive is what I mean.

I think it's something that you've been studying and that you're starting to reap the benefits. Yes. Jah, Rastafari. Why does this make me feel vulnerable like when we were talking about beauty? Let me figure this out. Because neither of us feel particularly beautiful and both of us feel like we're thick so that's why

bingo and that would be my intrapersonal intelligence that tells me that's me lily tapping into that yeah all right let's have another question let's keep let's see how awkward and uncomfortable and difficult this can get. Probably a bit more, I think. Hi, Lillian McKeeter. This is Polly. And this is Audrey. And we're from Melbourne, Australia. Our question for you is, how do you handle people talking to you with the assumption that you are dumb, generally because you're either a woman or you're young? Do you play along or do you say something or do you deal with it by like making a joke out of it interested to know how you've dealt with this in your careers but also in social and party settings love your work I mean people very rarely talk to me like I'm dumb to my face I don't know in my

youth people used to talk about me like I was dumb and I would engage with it and I would respond but I don't anymore because our career started so early I don't know whether we've been treated like silly little girls very often because we were already in the world being kind of grown up and working from quite a young age do you agree with that uh no I don't agree with that. I feel like people still call me, you know, a nepo baby and, you know, attribute all of my success to either my dad and now my husband. So, you know, she wouldn't be anywhere without her dad or without her husband. Which I suppose is another way of saying silly stupid little girl silly stupid little girl it's very infantilizing i mean nepo baby is just like i'm actually nearly 40 yeah can we stop yes also if someone thinks that i'm dumb that's probably because they're dumb exactly i

just exactly wouldn't engage with it that's it there you go god i love being 40 okay next question hi liam kita it's sadie here from leamington spa i'm sure you guys along with lots of other women in this world probably every woman have experienced mansplaining from a guy either close to them it could be a partner a brother or just a friend and i've received this plenty of time and as someone who wasn't super academic at school it makes me feel fucking stupid and I just wondered if you've ever had any situations where a man has either mansplained or talked down to you to make you feel less intelligent either on purpose or not love you both I can't think of any examples of it recently that means you have good men in your life I think is I feel like maybe but men men explain things to you because you've

asked them to no I think because I as we know and we have established in previous episodes I'm not very good at asking for help so I tend to just like figure things out for myself so I don't think there's ever an opportunity for somebody to be like, yeah, let me tell you. It's like, I'm never going to ask the question. I think a mansplain can definitely also be something being explained to you that you did fucking not ask to be explained to you. I imagine that comes under the same umbrella.

Someone did try and tell me how to play pool by the pool table the other day. And I was like, get the fuck away from me. How dare you? You know nothing about my my history I actually have a huge pool history so that might have been mansplaining this is not about mansplaining but when David did SNL many years ago I pitched to him he was like I was in London and he was doing in the week before you present SNL you do like a week of you know pitching different sketch ideas and I had pitched him this idea for this Oscar the Grouch sketch which was like a spoof of the Joker movie which

had just come out the Joaquin Phoenix thing and using Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street yeah but it was done as the Joker anyway so I told David this idea and then he went in pitched it and everyone loved it and they ended up making it and a couple of days later I spoke to him and I was like oh you know how's it all going and then he basically re-pitched the idea to me as if he'd come up with the idea himself and I was like oh my god are you fucking kidding me I love you you, but like... Too far. That was my idea. Do you even think he knew he was doing it? Because that is actually such a piss take

that I don't even think he knew he was doing it. Wow. No. That's incredible. He definitely didn't know he was doing it. Wow! I think that says everything, actually. Wow.

I think that's mansplaining at its finest, yeah. My labour went unnoticed. Actually, it didn't, because I did end up getting credited for it. I remember the producers wrote on Twitter that they were like, by the way, Lily Allen came up with this sketch. So you've got an SNL sketch on your CV. And it was a really popular one.

It was like the most popular one from the show. Yeah. You're such a crazy bitch. When did you fit that in? OK. It just came to me, babe. It was just an idea. Right, well, let's have a little break

lily allen let's just have a little break from each other go back to school with rogers and get canada's fastest and most reliable internet perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. Welcome back to Listen Bitch. We have another question, of course. Hi, Lily. Hi, Makita. My name's Samira. I'm a doctor from Brighton. And I just wanted to ask you a question about intelligence. So a few years ago when I was online dating, I used to find if I had doctor on my online dating profile, I'd get a lot less swipes than if it wasn't there.

a lot less swipes than if it wasn't there. And if I occasionally put a different profession on my online dating app, associated with being perhaps a little less clever, that I would get a lot more hits on dating apps. So I wanted to ask you, do you think heterosexual men in particular, are intimidated by intelligent women. And why do you think this is? Thanks so much. Love your podcast. Bye. Love you.

Thank you for sharing that. Love that. Obviously. Obviously. Of course. Yeah, there's this Sex and the City episode. If you know season three, episode six or something. I really do love Sex and the City.

And Miranda has to be a bridesmaid at someone's wedding and she needs to get a date so she's speed dating this is the 90s and she's like i'm a lawyer and they're like and then she goes i'm a air hostess and he's like ding ding ding why are they the worst i know but i'm scared do you think that, like, TV presenter is too much? Like, guys are like, oh, that's such opinionated chatterbox. Correct. No, I don't think that. But I think, you know, men are intimidated by power from anyone. That's why they co-opt other powerful men for themselves

and try and outcast women that are powerful. It's interesting because I suppose it's a doctor. She's a doctor. She's powerful in this really beautiful way. She's like saving our lives every day. Still like intimidating. It's like, no, she's just a brilliant, hardworking woman who's saving lives. That's a catch in my book.

It's just narcissism, isn't it? It's like, unless they can benefit from her brilliance, then I'm not interested because it makes them, it makes them feel bad about themselves. I love when you warm to a theme. She's right in it now.

No, keep, please, filling your wisdom. Let's not generalise. This isn't all men. I'm sure there are men that would love to go out with a doctor. I'm sure there are some very happily married doctors to some great men. And that's nice to know. But we're just trying to weed out the shit here.

Rah! I think we should get another question. Hi, Lillian Makita. This is Haz calling from Croydon. I'm a massive fan of both of you. I wanted to know if either of you have ever possibly bitten off a little bit more than you could chew to prove to either yourself or others that you are intelligent. Yes, there was this time, right?

Oh my God, it was so intimidating. yes there was this time right oh my god it was so intimidating it was like around an election and uh i i was like in ibiza filming with t4 so you know what that shoot was like lily and um and we got a call going like can makita come and do this it wasn't news night it wasn't news night it was hosted by dharma o'leary so it was very much like you know news night light definitely a panel and definitely an audience asking you questions but i did not want to do it i was like that's just i'm not politically engaged i was like 24 definitely wasn't politically engaged and i was just like i don't want to do it and jess my lovely agent was like i really think it'd be good for you to push yourself. I got away with it just about.

But I sat on that panel with cold sweats. And then it's not just the panel. We're like other huge politicians. And then the people asking the questions were like these really intelligent academic kids, I suppose. And one of them asked me a question. I said something. And he was like, that's a really stupid thing to say. It was horrible. And I remember thinking, yeah, I don't And one of them asked me a question and I said something and he was like, that's a really stupid thing to say. It was horrible.

And I remember thinking, yeah, I don't do newsy stuff. Don't do newsy stuff. Not for me. Not for me. Now I'd be fucking happy to, but now I know what I'm talking about. I knew I didn't know enough. And I think it's important to not bite off more than you can chew if you can't fucking ride the wave and not come out looking like an idiot.

I don't know if i've bitten off more than i can chew well you say that you like to scare yourself and work things quite a lot it's actually a trait of mine is to like big risk go to places it's the unknown you know i don't think i wouldn't call it biting off more than you can chew though i just call it like throwing yourself off of a cliff no but this is a great thing because I was just about to say, what are you talking about? I really felt like The Pillow Man, the play you did last year,

was pushing yourself. Yeah. There was a lot of monologues. It's a really dark play. Lots of dialogue. So much to learn. I don't know whether that's the hardest part, but I just, every time I saw it,

I just thought, I can't believe, A, she's doing this every night. B, how much she had to learn in really not that long a time. Yeah but that wasn't biting off more than I can chew in terms of intelligence like I understood the play I understood what I was undertaking Yes. You know I throw myself

into situations that I know will be scary but I don't pretend to know what I'm talking about I know when to listen and when to talk I wonder what intelligence that is on the list because that's a good one all right I thought you were getting the list you're getting your coffee okay um can we have another question please good morning Lillian Mikita this is Jasmine from sunny Cornwall I've recently applied for a new job teaching at a college and i feel like i am

vastly underqualified for the role however i've been recommended to apply for it so i feel a little bit like i'm having to fake it till i make it um have you ever faked it till you made it and how did that work out for you fuck yeah first 10 years of my career go for it do it you can do it jasmine i think um that maybe sort of brings in a little bit of what lil was talking about jump off the cliff it takes away kind of any sense of being some sort of fraud because you've got the job right i mean if you've got the job there's a reason someone just gave you that job this would be a little bit of imposter syndrome which has no space here lucy allen agrees if she can come back from that then you can come back from anything i do

think it's important as well to admit that you're scared admit that you're like you know because it will make you do the work if you feel like like you might need to do some research or kind of look into, I mean, knowing me, I would look into the history of the college and just butter up everyone that worked there and talk about what an incredible institution that particular place was. If there's anything you feel like you have to do to make that first few weeks easier, just do the work. Yeah, for sure.

I feel like I've faked everything. Yeah. When I first went up to Manchester to go and work with Future Cup, who were the guys that produced my first record, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. No. I remember, like, I'd never written a song before. I sat down and they put up some samples and made a beat

and I wrote Smile, which was like my first big song. In like one day, right? In about half an hour. The way that I wrote it was like singing Britney Spears in like one day right in about half an hour and the way that I wrote it was like singing Britney Spears hit me baby one more time like over this beat and then just sort of changed the words oh yeah and the melody slightly does smile sound like no it doesn't but like that was just how I like right so just you know think of another song and like yeah singing that song,

but it's in different chords or... Anyway, and so Smile was what came out. I have talked about this before, but they said, you know, we've got the verses in the chorus, now let's do a middle A. And I was like, sure. And I went outside and called George Lamb, my manager, and I was like, what's a middle A? What's a middle A? They're asking for a middle A.

And he was like, oh, it's just the bit that links the chorus to the next chorus. But it's not the same. Yes, the bridge, if you will. Which is why I just went... So yeah, fake it till you make it, babe. That song went to number one. The rest is history. Do it ever since.

But your second album didn't have any middle eights you told me so you obviously gave up that no actually i followed the same thing because the middle eights i just never did any words i was just like worked for the first time i'm not gonna change that oh my god what a formula well last time all right um can we have another question please hi makita and lily this is Sarah, now living just outside Edinburgh, but originally from the Wirral. What type of intelligence do you find most attractive? Be that in a partner, in a friend, or even maybe someone that you're doing business with.

I find kind of common sense, streetwise intelligence really attractive so yeah that's my question to you what sort of intelligence do you find most attractive I would say the same as her because I hate when people like show off academic intelligence I'm just like you all if I wanted to be around people like this i would have gone to university and when people like really ham on about their emotional intelligence it makes me feel sick it's like i don't want to talk about my feelings thank you very much please leave me alone oh okay i'll stop that then yeah yeah and what's the ones you like like streetwise streetwise yeah yeah i like what's the one where i guess maybe

it's that spatial awareness thing but like i'm really attracted to men that like solve problems like physically like when they're like oh all you got to do is like put that screw on did it it's just so fit like i you like a task rabbit i do as i said previously i fucking love it they want they can put up a shelf no it's just like no it's not just the shelf it's also like that thing of like like Asher the younger boyfriend I had he was a stonemason and he built my first wardrobe in my bedroom my first like big homemade wardrobe and he just sat there and went all right I guess you're just gonna need like three slit and then we'll just I saw his mind working out and I just wanted to jump him i was like this is so attractive and

you know why because i've been out with too many west london pussy boys who were like uh-huh like no offense i won't say his name we have a friend i lived with him and on our first day living together like we couldn't get the tv to work and he was just like oh god oh what are we gonna do and i was like oh come the fuck on we've got to figure this out i think it's an area thing really you think it's an area thing i don't think it's an area no boys from west london can like solve i think it's a coddled thing i think like if your parents have like done shit for you i was very much like left my own devices as a kid like i remember installing my mom's car radio for her once I was about 11 or even younger like 10 she had like a Suzuki Vitara and this car radio turned up like in a you know cardboard box

like in the post yeah and she was like what we're gonna do and I was like don't worry I'll figure out I went and like installed it you know what that's why I think you learned to drive so much earlier than any of us you were were, like, ready to go. It's not like you had some, like, learning to drive journey. You just suddenly, you went to learn to drive and then you could just drive. And as someone who is learning to pass my test at the moment, I'm like, that's just a different way we think. Maybe it's that facial awareness intelligence thing again.

Yeah. But, yeah, build me a wardrobe and I will marry you. That's the kind of intelligence I like. I can't believe this person couldn't figure out how to get the TV on and was freaking out. Like, come on. Oh God, it was like... Surely just a scart lead situation.

But the plug doesn't work, Keats. I was like, it's all right. We'll figure it out. And then I did. Last question, please. Last question. Hi guys, it is Livvy from Bristol. When I was at uni, I remember there just being such

like an era of, people being judgmental because I went to like Leeds Beckett and a lot of people went to like the Uni of Leeds, like a Russell group. This whole thing of intelligence and like how much you rate it by like what like academic institute you go to is so dumb. Like, so I guess my question is, have you ever dealt with people kind of being snobby about, oh, you go to is so dumb like so I guess my question is have you ever dealt with

people kind of being snobby about oh you go there or do this I don't know if this applies because you guys probably went to a really nice school but yeah that is my question when people start talking about where they went to university and stuff I do go into like a self-hatred spiral because I'm not educated. And I left school when I was 15. And I don't even have one GCSE. I have not one qualification. And I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of it. Think about it, Lil.

What would it really mean for you and I? I mean, forget later education or further education. If me and you were sitting here with two GCSEs each, I mean, mean really what difference would it fucking make let's be honest uh i don't know because i think that if i had a degree then like there were points in you know like after i'd had kids for instance i might not have thought i'm gonna try and re-enter music or entertainment i might i would have thought yeah i'm actually gonna like go and be a lawyer or i'm going to. Yes. You know, especially after George died, I really wanted to go into like midwifery or obstetrics because that was something that really interested me.

And because I didn't have any diplomas in, you know, GCSEs or A-levels, it seemed like too difficult, too much. I was too lazy and actually too embarrassed. I thought like I'd have to go and do my A-levels with a bunch of 18 year olds. And I was already in my mid-30s. Like, I didn't want to do that. Yeah, but I've been thinking about the reality of doing further education now and how that would feel.

There are a few things I've been looking into and I'll let you know how it goes. But I do think that reading is a huge part for me. I think I've always wanted to be smarter and I should just read more. And I don't mean Sunday Times supplement. I mean read more and learn more. Go to the British Library and spend a day there.

Why don't I ever do things like that? I would really enjoy that. That'd be a good way to spend the summer, right? It's actually halfway through summer. Are you all right about it? Are you okay? I've been having too much of a summer. I'm ready for winter now i'm like come on this is over you've still got a lot to go we haven't even done carnival

babe i've got this british columbia trip then i'm flying back to new york or i might go to atlanta to be with david i haven't decided yet yeah and then i'm going back to massachusetts to pick up the girls then i'm going to italy for two weeks back and then i'm coming back to Massachusetts to pick up the girls. Then I'm going to Italy for two weeks. Back? And then I'm coming back here again. So let me know if Carnival slips into those plans. Literally, my brat summer's like halfway done, but I'm exhausted.

So this is it. We're not all Charlie XCX. Right? I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she fucking does it. 365 party girl. Next week, Lily Allen will be in British Columbia dancing with black bears in the mountains.

So David's filling in, Lily's lovely husband, David Harbour, who I know and I love, but obviously we've not done this before together. Although we do talk a lot on FaceTime when me and you are in FaceTime. And of course that will include Listen Bitch. Should we tell them what the subject matter is?

I don't know it. Only you and David have come up with something. You tell me. OK, the subject matter is... Lily Allen. OK, that I can do. That I can do. Oh, see, now I think we're actually going to have some fun.

That just gave me a little, like, ooh. And as you said, you're stuck in the mountains, so I can do whatever I want, but I'll keep you safe. Keep me safe. Look after me. Look after my husband. Do you feel like he's safe in my hands? Well, after what happened with Toby, I don't know, babes.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Look after my man, yeah? But not like that. Yeah, yeah, but not too much, yeah? I'm going to ask the audience, watch her, yeah? Watch her with my man. Stop it. I don't want anyone to think we have that sort of ridiculous element of our relationship.

No, we really don't. But I will take care of him. He's good at putting up shelves, I will tell you that much. He could build you a wardrobe. Is he actually, David? Yeah, he actually is? He actually is. He's such a little thesp. Please send us your voice notes to 08000 30 40 90.

08000 30 40 90. 08000 30 40 90. 90. Of course. Of course. All right. Wish me luck, soldier. Good luck to you in the mountains.

Me with your husband let's all push ourselves the next few weeks see where we get there who knows there might be glory on the other side glory be to Miss Me

and Listen Bitch correct that's perfect bye bye thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen

and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Hi guys, I'm Ryland and this is How To Be In The Spotlight from BBC Sounds. It's the podcast where together we're going to hear what it's like to be thrust into the public eye by those who've lived to tell the tale. In this podcast, I'm going to be joined by 12 fantastic guests who are going to share how they've learned to navigate the perks, pressures, and pitfalls of fame. This is Ryland, how to be in the spotlight. Listen on BBC Sounds.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers.