Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Is virginity a patriarchal construct?

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Do you remember the first time? Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about virginity. Where did you lose it? Was there a soundtrack? Should we be rethinking the whole concept of virgini...ty?Next week, we want to hear your questions about ‘THE PUB’! Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: 08000 30 40 90. Or, if you like, send us an email: missme@bbc.co.uk.This episode contains strong language and adult themes.Credits:Producer: Matt Thomas Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan HaskinsMiss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains some very strong language and some adult themes. Very adult themes.
Starting point is 00:00:39 In fact, you have to be an adult to engage in this theme. Yeah, that would be best. Lily Allen, you know what time it is? Time for Listen, bitch. Yeah, shall we? Shall we listen, bitch? Come on.
Starting point is 00:01:06 The theme for this week that I set last week, it was my week to set the theme. The theme for this week was, ladies and gentlemen, today as a country all together, we're going to be talking about virginity. Virginity. That's right. You heard me. Virginity. Virginity. The gateway to adulthood. The beginning of the next part of everyone's life i believe it to be a very important time in everyone's life can i i just realized not just i realized last
Starting point is 00:01:34 week why it's because uh my auntie jeanette um it's quite a weird story my auntie jeanette uh started a record label called Rough Trade Records. Brilliant, game-changing woman. And I thought you were going to say called Virgin. I was like, okay. Did she? No, no. She should be a lot richer.
Starting point is 00:01:57 No, no. Rough Trade Records and Pulp are on Rough Trade. And they had a song called Do You Remember the First Time? Do you remember that first time to remember that song i do oh i love that song and for the video this is like when tv was so different for the promo or something for the video they did like a documentary on channel four and uh my mom was in it they had a short film with like talking heads it was like artily directed and it was about all these people well known talking about when they lost their virginity so I learned from
Starting point is 00:02:29 that tv show at a very young age when exactly the details of the loss of my mom's virginity right so I feel like yeah so I feel like from that time onwards I was quite interested in like this event in so many people's lives. Which is why I've set the theme for virginity today. Good one. I'm excited. Are you actually? You don't seem excited.
Starting point is 00:02:52 You seem quite closed off and a little cold. I am a little bit. I don't like it as a concept. But what? The loss of virginity. I just think the whole thing is just a patriarchal construct. Like, I don't... OK, you tell me when the word loss is used in a positive context.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Or lost. Oh, I see where you're going. I get it. Hmm, interesting. I lost my keys. I lost my mind. We lost his heartbeat. I lost the kids in the marriage. I lost everything.
Starting point is 00:03:28 But you can't gain a virginity. No, but I feel the word lost or the phrase to lose your virginity is there's a negative connotation straight off the bat. And the insinuation is that virginity is good. Losing it is bad. Even a boy loses his virginity. Not the same thing. It is called the same thing, but it doesn't have the same. It doesn't have the same significance. I think that the onus is on a woman for losing something that signifies purity.
Starting point is 00:04:01 And I think that losing to me feels like the wrong word because I think most people don't necessarily have a positive experience the first time that they have sex with someone and if it's therefore not a positive experience why should we frame it as something that is your fault and that you have lost when I think most people feel like it's something that is taken from them and therefore the onus should be on the man because there is a power imbalance between men and women if we're talking about heterosexual sex which I am because I'm a heterosexual female okay well I wanted to keep it peppy this week after the shit show but I you've asked me so I feel like I need to tell you I also think that you know lots of people if we're talking
Starting point is 00:04:45 about the first time that we've had sex lots of people it's not even a consensual so many people are abused in childhood like it's not something and so to be made to think think that like that it's this great event that we should all be talking about with um excitement and it's like some people didn't even have it wasn't even in their control whether to have sex the first time or not it's something that somebody else decided for them i would prefer if we were going to make an event about these about somebody's introduction to their the sexual part of their life why aren't we having a conversation and it's in the focus on the first time that you have an orgasm or the first time that you have consensual sex with somebody that you love the first time you ever
Starting point is 00:05:29 experience it is not important unless it's a man and it's like about conquering something or taking something from someone right well i really wish you told me this last week and we could have changed the theme to orgasms which i would have loved to talk about but i'm interested in rites of passage and i believe it to be a rite of passage which aren't all um voluntary right for me i felt very different and i felt like something quite monumental had happened in my life once that had happened. I was very late doing it as well. But hopefully the questions will pep this up a bit because I didn't know you felt like that about this theme.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I did ask you in the middle of the week, are you sure you're happy with this theme? And you said, yeah, I'm fine with it. Well, no, because I thought about it and I thought, why am I uncomfortable with it? And so then I went, I did like a sort of mental checklist. And for me, I think it really is just the phrase to lose your virginity. Today, we're actually, our theme was just virginity.
Starting point is 00:06:35 So if a question was, how do you feel about it, Nell? You've answered that. And now we're going to go to, now we're going to take it to the country. Let's see if the country have a different take. The world. We're not just limited to one country. The world even. We are international.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Can we have our first question for this son of a bitch? Hi, girls. This is Rosanna from Dublin. I'm just wondering if you have ever slept with someone and then found out later that you took their virginity. Really love the podcast. It has made me laugh out loud. And I am not a podcast girl, so good job.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Thanks, Rosanna. That's nice to hear, isn't it? The answer is yes. I don't think you can name the person. No, I will not name the person. Of course not. It was Carnival 2000 i hope it was after carnival and not at carnival it was after carnival notting hill carnival and uh it was a beautiful
Starting point is 00:07:36 beautiful beautiful um person boy and i was young and he was young. Yeah, and then I found out he was like 17. So I was like, whoa. Okay. All right. Okay. And we went back to my house. And then in the morning, at the time I was on telly, and in the morning he was like, God, I can't wait to tell everyone at school that I've met you met you and didn't know what the fuck are you talking about he never confirmed that
Starting point is 00:08:10 that he was a virgin but i imagine so why uh because he was young and and didn't seem like you'd done it before tell me what he did that made you think that. Come on. It must have been something. Now you're just going to punish me for this. No, I'm genuinely interested. If he didn't tell you that it was his first time, what made you think that? Yes, his prowess. His general prowess.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Next question, please. God, I really thought this would be easier than lying, but this is hard. I have never taken anyone's virginity, as far as I know. Well done. Nice. I'm so sorry. I thought this theme would be better.
Starting point is 00:08:54 I think it's all right so far. No, yeah, but I mean, I thought it would be better for me. Hi, Lily. Hi, Makita. I was wondering, was there an area when you were teenagers in which your entire friendship group lost their virginity? Like a park or a scrap of land or a farmland or a golf course? If there was, what was that area? A scrap of land, you know.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Excuse me. Great question. But also, who are you and where do you come from so and anyone else is sending in voice notes please identify identify yourself and give us a you know vague geographic location just so we can pigeonhole you scrap of land i i like that you called it a scrap of land i mean i grew up in labrador there weren't really scraps of land around yeah there were well with scrubs so it couldn't be any more of a scrap of land if it tried fair enough people might have done it well with scrubs but mine was um where everyone used to lose their virginities behind the swimming pool it was like this uh car park behind the swimming pools nice kensington new pools we were in kensington and uh do you know people used to
Starting point is 00:10:06 don't you remember that when you were kids you would go swimming and afterwards everyone really was feeling quite like amorous horny yes no don't remember that yeah come on because you've all been in the water and you're seeing like parts different parts of each other's bodies it was a huge thing it was like meet you at the swimming pools all the girls would go down then all the boys would go down and then we'd go around the back and like yeah it would it would get hot and heavy and one time i think i was there and i hadn't told my mom and she just turned up like mid heavy serious teenage petting session between loads it was awful it was absolutely awful grim grim, was there a scrap of land where, no, I don't. Well, you went to boarding school,
Starting point is 00:10:48 so I imagine people were getting well on it in the fields. Fanciful and frisky. I mean, I actually don't know when I lost my virginity. Is that bad? It was between one of two people. One was a guy who was quite a lot older than me called Fernando in Brazil. I went on holiday with my dad and my brother.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Hang on. I don't know this story. Okay. Fernando. It's actually pretty traumatizing as are most of my childhood stories, escapades. We went on holiday to Brazil to this weird hotel in the sunshine state of Brazil called Bahia. And it was like a sort of sporty hotel resort. And there was like sort of professional footballers teaching my brother and stuff how to play football. Anyway, I met this guy called Fernando
Starting point is 00:11:36 and in the bar and then we went back to his room and I stayed over and me and Alfie were sharing a bedroom and I fell asleep in his room and I didn't go back to my room so my dad would woke up the next day went to go and check on me and I wasn't in the room and there was like a full-on panic and I woke up left Fernando's room and I came out and it was literally like an episode of the Brazilian The Bill they were like police everywhere looking for you yes Yes. No. Yes. And like my dad was like in pieces. They'd found like a t-shirt that looked like the t-shirt that I was wearing, hanging on a twig on the beach and they thought I drowned. So I didn't have sex again
Starting point is 00:12:15 for a while. Um, and I certainly didn't surrender that information. I wasn't like, I'm sorry, dad, I was just losing my virginity to a 21 year old called Fernando. Anyway, it was either that or it was above and off license on the Finchley Road with a Serbian guy from my school called Mahalo. Sorry. I really don't want to laugh, but Jesus fucking Christ, Lil. I told you a long time. I do not know either of these stories. Well, yeah, because they're both shrouded in shame.
Starting point is 00:12:51 And they're like, you know, everyone talks about these such great events. And like my two events that could have been my virginity were like both pretty awful. And I don't want to feel like I wasted my purity on Fernando or Milo. And I can't remember which one it was. Does it? Oh, goodness me. I'd rather think about the time I made myself cum, which was much more. That's right.
Starting point is 00:13:11 That's right. And that will be an upcoming theme on Listen Bitch. Don't you worry. We got you, audience. I know what you're thinking. Where is this leading? Yes, it is leading to the coming episodes. Wow. God, I really hope it was the off the coming episodes. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:26 God, I really hope it was the off-license. Why? Above the off-license on the Finchley Road? Because I feel like Mahalo deserves it more than Fernando, your purity. Not that it was taken. Yeah, I don't think we even really spoke the same language. Yeah, it was definitely not what I would call intimate.
Starting point is 00:13:44 God, mindset. my virginity story seems like a fucking cheese dream after that so let me just wait to see if anyone asks how we lost our virginity but thank you for thank you for telling us so i needed to get it off my chest our next question is from erin in america all the way from america hello lilyian Makita. I have a quick story and a question for you both. I lost my virginity when I was 17 to my first boyfriend. And it was a big deal because we had decided to wait for like a year because we were both Christian and we're both slowly becoming unchristian. So when we lost our virginity to each other we lit candles and it was a whole thing and I put on what I thought was the sexiest album at the time which was Star
Starting point is 00:14:32 Sailors album Love Is Here and I have a very clear memory of like when it was actually happening the song Alcoholic was playing so anytime I think about like my first real sexual experience, I hear Daddy was an alcoholic. And I was just wondering if you remember if there was music playing when you lost your virginity. And if you can't remember, if you could go back in time, what would you play? How would you DJ the loss of your virginity?
Starting point is 00:15:03 Wow, that was a tale and a half. You know what? Actually, just on this subject matter, you know, I'm not going to say the person's name, but you know that TV star that I had sex with when I was very young? Yep. When I went to his hotel,
Starting point is 00:15:20 he put on the Moby album. And I cannot. If it comes comes on I'm just like shut the fuck up yeah it was that period of time and it and he thought he was so cool no that's what I mean because I know who it is that was so more about him being like like play can i just uh who was that question from because thanks for it thank you for uh i love that question it was firstly what was playing yeah uh and secondly what would you how would you dj your virginity set that is a question and a half not with thank you although uh oh yeah i wouldn't it probably wouldn't be Star Sailor for you. So that was a 2007 kind of virginity loss.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I imagine if Star Sailor were killing it. I think you'd be more like D'Angelo. Oh, God. Okay. I find it really hard to have sex to sex music. I know what you mean. But I love listening to sex music just in general like yeah it sounds like i'm if you listen to my place and it's plenty it just sounds like i'm having sex all the time it's like d'angelo and like you know yeah exactly like monica but um but sex it's like
Starting point is 00:16:41 you can't be like let me just put on some sex R&B. It's just too awful. But what was playing when I lost my virginity is such a vibey answer. It was the first Roots Maneuver album. Okay. Thank you. That's right. What was the album called?
Starting point is 00:16:58 I saw a Twitter post yesterday that he wrote, somebody that lived in his old house had found his Mercury Music Prize in his shed. And some people that lived in his old house had found his mercury music prize in his shed and some people that lived in the house were like we found this in our shed do you want it back and they sent it to him and my favorite comment underneath that was witness the chippedness shut up yeah because it was all chipped and really made me laugh you'll only get that if we know that Roots Maneuver had a hit song called
Starting point is 00:17:28 Witness the Fitness hang on I just need to know because this is important this is the album I lost my virginity to Roots Maneuver first album because you know that I've been out with three white men with dreads is that quite a lot
Starting point is 00:17:44 wow I know with three white men with dreads. Is that quite a lot? Wow. I know. I know. Makita. I know. Can I say that two were in the 90s? I don't think it matters, babe.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I don't think it matters. Oh, my God. You'd be like, babe, that's fine. Brand new secondhand. Thank you. Brand new secondhand. What an album. Anyway, did say roots your maneuver.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Okay, no more puns. Can we have another question about virginity? See, see, there are stories to be told and there are things to learn. Hi, Makira and Lily. This is Sean calling from Yorkshire. I listened to the latest podcast and I know that the new topic is is virginity and so when I was listening to you um you said about you can only lose your virginity once but I actually have four virginities that I've lost um so when I was younger I would fool about with girls boys whatever so I've slept with
Starting point is 00:18:37 women slept with men and I've taken somebody's virginity both male and female so I've got I've lost four. But my point is, and by the way, as a 40-year-old man now, I am married to a man and we have a son. And my advice to him would be, don't hold your virginity up as this big sacred thing. And I wondered what you thought about that. Like, you hear all the time, don't you?
Starting point is 00:19:02 Like, oh, you need to lose your virginity to somebody that you love and it's really special. I don't think it is at all. It's awkward. It's all. It's awkward. It's bumpy. It's painful. It's all of the messiness that you don't really know anything about. And so I think get it out of the way and then learn some experience. But I just wonder what you two thought.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Absolutely. I agree wholeheartedly. Get it out of the way. But that's the thing. The thing about it is that for women, we're made to feel like once we've got it out of the way. But that's the thing. The thing about it is that for women, we're made to feel like once we've got it out of the way, we're soiled, we're tarnished, it's gone. The thing that made us valuable is lost.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Hence wearing white at a wedding, yes? Yeah, a wedding. A wedding. A white wedding. A white wedding. Sean, can I just say, big up to Sean because... Big up, Sean from Yorkshire. I love that you told that story.
Starting point is 00:19:49 I love that you told us where you're at now in life. Father, married, happy. And I love that you're... I love that that's what you're imparting with your son. I love this fucking theme. When it's good, it's good. Oh, listen, bitch. When it's good, it's good. Can't listen, bitch. When it's good, it's good.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Can't tell me no different. Hey, Lying was good. Lying was a shit show. And you know it. Lying was a shit show. We had our first podcast, Tiff at four. Extraordinary. Let's have another question.
Starting point is 00:20:22 It's from an anonymous caller in the tv show gilmore grills and before rory the daughter has sex and loses her virginity the mom lorelei asks her to come to her beforehand like a day or two when she feels like it's going to happen so they can like talk about it and be prepared and when that doesn't happen The mom is like pissed off with the daughter. So I want to know. Lily in particular. Would you feel that way with your kids? Would you want them to come to you.
Starting point is 00:20:52 And you know have this conversation about being prepared. Or do you think it would ever happen? It's just really interesting to see. You know a TV show from the early 2000s. Saying this. When I feel like kids wouldn't do that now. Love you guys oh thank you so much yeah I mean I think sex is great and really exciting right and um I think a way I
Starting point is 00:21:15 will frame it with my girls is like it's a little bit like getting your ears pierced right it's like you have to go and get your ears because you go through the painful hard bit but that's not what's good the good bit is like buying loads of earrings and being able to switch it up and do whatever you want and change the styles nice metaphor really good accessories but no and also I just think that like my my thing with my girls is going to be like, you know, it's an, your vagina is like an instrument for which to, you know, get pleasure from and like, and to learn more about. And so I think that is where my focus will be. I don't care about this event. I don't want them to care about this event.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I want them to focus on being able to have their needs met and also, you know have intimate relationships with people and share something and share moments of joy and it'd be great how long do you think you've got till you have to have that chat uh well we're already having like sex chats excuse me my mom did not talk to me about sex and still doesn't i mean i don't really want to do now, we already have sex talks. Me and David tried to have one together with the girls and that was a disaster. Yeah, but the thing is, you do also at the same time want your kids to be prepared for it. Prepared for what? For this event that does hurt, it can hurt, it can be emotionally difficult. Yeah, but I'm saying that's not the event. The event is the, like, learning how it works. Okay, not event, but just the process to get into your life and the rest of it.
Starting point is 00:22:52 What I care about is there not being any shame attached to that event. So I think the less I build up that event, the less shame that they can attach to it. Just a subtle bit of preparation. Yeah, like, you know, make sure he wears a condom if it's a, you know, a boy. And she's nice if it's not. Thank you for that question. More questions will be coming after this short break. Can we have another question, please?
Starting point is 00:23:31 Hi, Makita and Lily. This is Jen from Australia, another international listener. Loving the show. Think it's really great. My question is, before you lost your virginity, was there anyone real that you knew in person, a celebrity or even fictitious person that you would hope that you might lose your virginity to? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Bye-bye. Yes. Probably the boy that played Casper, the friendly ghost, Devin Sauer. Sauer? I never knew how to pronounce his name but he was like Casper the friendly ghost he's actually Stan in the Eminem video and he was in everything when I was a kid
Starting point is 00:24:17 and I used to dream it would be him mine would have been the middle brother from Hanson oh no no no you step back you step the fuck back I said it and you had Casper the friendly ghost I've got Taylor from Hanson you step back and remember that I've obviously forgotten the love of my life oh my god Taylor from I scrap every man I've ever talked about. I was so in love with Taylor from Hanson. I actually, I had to give him up for squat parties and I was devastated.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Okay, fine. You have Taylor. I'll have Kurt Cobain. Thank you. Can we have another question? Listen, bitch. Hey, fellow London girl here. So my question is,
Starting point is 00:25:03 if you could change who you lost your virginity to would you? I guess yours is a yes no because I've just reframed my relationship to virginity ah yes so actually I don't care because it's nothing meaningless event I wouldn't I'm really I can't believe that I managed to have it lose it with my boyfriend who I loved who loved me was it the boyfriend
Starting point is 00:25:30 we talked about last week yes we're not naming him again he doesn't need to be on every episode of Miss Me or Listen Bitch
Starting point is 00:25:37 but he was he was lovely during that night but then a few weeks later he was he said something very cruel to me during sex and it fucked me up for quite a long time.
Starting point is 00:25:49 What was it? You're not doing it right. Oh, that is quite hurtful. Yeah, if you're a kid and you're trying to be an adult and be sexy and then you're like, oh shit, I'm not doing it right, oh my God. Yeah, speaking of saying things in the middle of sex that are inappropriate, once I was having sex. Yeah, speaking of saying things in the middle of sex that are inappropriate.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Once I was having sex with someone and Countdown was on in the background and I got an eight letter word in my head and shouted it out. No, no, no. Do you remember the word? No. How bad was that sex if you were playing Countdown?
Starting point is 00:26:22 It wasn't just on in the background. I loved Countdown more than I loved that person. Thank you everyone for your questions. I love hearing all the different places that everyone's from. Really? Why do you care about that? Because the last girl, the way she said, listen, bitch, I thought North London.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Oh, right. Okay. You got me? Yeah. I like knowing exactly where people are. You say you can pigeonhole them. Yes. One day we'll get a caller from someone
Starting point is 00:26:46 that like from our past do you think do you think do you think someone would do that to us did you ever call into tv shows or anything i used to call uh donna air when she was on mtv select oh my god that was like my um pop world inspiration i thought she was so good she was was she good she was good she was great yeah she was good she looked great and you know she was so good she was was she good she was good she was great yeah she was good and she looked great and you know she was 19 when she did MTV
Starting point is 00:27:09 not as young as you were when you did Pop World eh that's right but still she was I think people forget Donna Eyre was a G yeah she was
Starting point is 00:27:16 she still is can we have another question hi Megita hi Lily just wanted to ask you two very quick questions about virginity number one I can't remember the name of the person that I lost my virginity to, but he was actually my boyfriend for a few weeks.
Starting point is 00:27:31 And my friend who was also going out with him couldn't remember his name either. I think it's our age. And the second one is me and my friend, we both wrote a list of how many people we'd shagged. And I'd love to know where that list is, because obviously I can't remember the name name of that guy did you two write a list of everyone that you've shagged thanks bye banging questions thank you babe thank you um uh I have done that but I don't know whether we did it together the list I think I did it with Lauren gosh I can't even if I had to write that list. I haven't done it in a while. Like you'd have to, I think I was like 30. I think I did about 10 years ago. Well, it was 30.
Starting point is 00:28:13 No, no, no. I was 30 years old. Oh, okay. What was the first bit of the question, Lil? The second was list. She said that her boyfriend, she can't even remember his name. She got me in my gang.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Did you have that quite often that I run into people that I don't know where I know them from and I think, have I slept with you? I actually don't get that that much. Oh my God, I get it all the time. That's horrible. But wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:28:39 The list, did you see that Emily, I can never say her surname, Rajatowski? Oh, Ratajkowska. Ratajkowska. list did you see that emily i can never say her surname rajatowski oh ratakovska ratakovska got um she got a divorce ring yeah i saw that yeah and she said something really nice did i screenshot it i really liked what she said and this is actually quite a good way to reframe virginity here it is so emily if you could say the surname again Lil Ratakovska yes she has turned her wedding ring
Starting point is 00:29:07 into a divorce ring but it looks like she just has two rings now and she said that the ring represents my own personal evolution
Starting point is 00:29:15 I don't think a woman should be stripped of her diamonds just because she's losing a man that's one point but the second point is this was inspired
Starting point is 00:29:22 by the story of her grandmother's snake ring a ring that is made up of the different stones from her this was inspired by the story of her grandmother's snake ring, a ring that is made up of the different stones from her various marriages. I love the idea of a ring unabashedly representing the many lives a woman has lived. So I feel like that's an interesting way to look at a list of the sexual partners you've had. Wow, my diamond ring is looking real good you've got diamonds all over you
Starting point is 00:29:48 dripping with diamonds right what a retrain if i had a diamond for every man i'd bodied take that shame turn it into diamonds but that's interesting because it's like we can't fucking change the past let's just start there and end there. And this is, we only get one life. And these are the things that have happened in our life. And like it or not, this is what makes up a life. Like these people are the sexual experiences we've both had. Celebrate it with diamonds.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Yeah, why not? I think we've got one final question, but can I just say I'm really proud of everyone. I feel like we've all shared some honest shit today hi miss me crew this is Lina from Sweden I kind of feel that the term virginity it feels very dated so I'm wondering what do you ladies think of what else can we call it basically that's what I'm wondering what else can we call it, basically? That's what I'm wondering. What else can we call it besides virginity? Hymen breaking. Wonderful.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Thank you so much, Lina. Yes. The hymen breaking. The hymen breaking event. Yes. When did you break your hymen? Where were you when your hymen broke? I thought you didn't want it to... The new second question on a date. What you do and where were you when you're home
Starting point is 00:31:08 yeah great well actually an interesting in that film chasing amy a brilliant kevin smith film from the 90s god it's good uh i think it's a young i know it's not renee zellweger it's joey lauren adams and she is gay and ben affleck is saying to her, and he loves her, and he says to her, well, when did you lose your virginity? And she says, well, I lost my virginity when I was 12 because I fell off a horse and I broke my hymen. Interesting, but also now I'm saying it, broken also has negative connotations.
Starting point is 00:31:39 So, but then somebody doesn't break your hymen for you. Well, I guess maybe they do. Did you break her hymen? Ooh, a bit your hymen for you. I guess maybe they do. Did you break her hymen? Ooh, a bit of hymen still intact. How many hymens have you broken? Oh, my God. They call him the hymen breaker. They call me hymen breaker.
Starting point is 00:32:02 What's your nickname? I'm James, but they call me theman Breaker. What's your nickname? I'm James, but they call me the Ironman Breaker. I think it's not a loss or a take or a break. It's a give or a keep or a yours kind of thing. Do you know what I mean? No, even the giving and take, it's just like, just shut up. It's just the first time. All right. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Okay. All right. A bit harsh to Lena. Lena, thank you for the question because you've got that lovely Swedish voice and everything Swedish people ask just feels very gentle and soft. So thank you. And I hope we answered it a little bit. They've got quite forward attitudes towards sex as well, don't they, the Scandies?
Starting point is 00:32:42 Yeah. But I really did learn some stuff today. I did. I didn't know about your two possible nights. Are you trying to say event? The first time the first time
Starting point is 00:32:55 that I had sex with somebody. Experience is good. Yes. Yes. Like when was your first sexual experience? My first sexual experience. No, because that's not, a sexual experience can be a blowjob. That's not the same thing.
Starting point is 00:33:08 I felt like at the beginning of that theme, this week's Listen Bitch, I was like, oh God, am I making the country talk about something they really don't want to talk about? But I think that was good. Don't you think, Lil? I do think it's good.
Starting point is 00:33:18 I'm just looking at our list of things and I'm trying to choose one. I didn't think about this in advance, so I'm choosing it as this is in real time. I'm making a decision. Why don't you actually close your eyes, scroll, and wherever it lands, that's the theme. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Just for this week. Let the universe tell us. Okay, go, go, go, go. Stop. The police force. Okay, then. Should we try one more time and hope to get gardening? Okay, wait, I'm just going to make, okay, what I'm doing again.
Starting point is 00:33:53 The theme for next week's Listen Bitch is the pub. The pub! Yeah! The pub! Oh, yeah! She pub. Oh, yeah. She's back, bitches. She's back. You can't stop her.
Starting point is 00:34:11 She's just here. Oh, the pub. We love the pub. Lily's sober. I'm not. And we went to the pub the other day. Still love a pub. Still love a pub.
Starting point is 00:34:21 You still know how to do the pub. Yep. Okay. I've been to three pubs this week. Three pubs, four theatres, two cinemas. I'm so proud of you, Culture Vulture. Stop calling me that. Oh, I love you, Lily Allen.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Thank you for talking to me today. Great to see you. People, we would obviously like you to keep sending in your voice notes. It is 08000 30 40 90. That's it. in your voice notes. It is 08000304090. That's it. 08000304090. We don't even have a beat.
Starting point is 00:34:54 It's a bit dry out here, isn't it? 08000304090. Not really a beatboxer, to be honest. You're not really a beatboxer. And thank God for not really a beatboxer and thank god for that can I just say and thank god for that it's not one of those skills I've ever really wanted
Starting point is 00:35:10 to be honest you'll be in New York when I see you next no I won't I'll be in Nashville oh my god you'll be in Nashville when I see you next
Starting point is 00:35:21 love you bye bye thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen when I see you next. Love you. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds. It just smashed right into the World Trade Centre.
Starting point is 00:35:39 It was a big, big explosion of flames. People who knew me. A story about lies. You used a terrorist attack to run away from your mess and fake your own death. And love. Are you proposing to me? In the face of death. I'm Paul.
Starting point is 00:35:52 I'm six weeks into chemo. And I have no eyebrows. An original drama for BBC Sounds. Yeah, something's up. Starring Rosamund Pike and Hugh Laurie. Happy death anniversary. People Who Knew Me. Listen on BBC Sounds.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers.

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