Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! One Foot in the Rave

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about raving. What were their first experiences of raving? Have they had any life-changing rave moments? Do they think there’s an age limit to raving? Who is the last one standing at the rave?Next week, we want to hear your questions about REVENGE. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes.Credits: Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. Miss Me contains very strong language and some adult themes. Welcome to Listen Bitch, raving edition. Yeah, nice outfit, Lily Allen. Very un-ravy.

What are you talking about? Brat Summer couldn't be more rave if it tried. Yeah, but you're not going to rave in the ballet pump that you're currently in this week's episode of listen bitch theme is raving so many stories so many memories and obviously raving is quite difficult because they very often blur into one rave right it's like one era one party one ting one moment one conversation one dance one chat one chat over 10 years would not surprise me um so i'm really hoping that the audience lead us to memories of yore that is tucked right there back in the doldrums you really use the word your quite a lot do you know that do you know what i learned it on um a friend's episode stories of your rachel's pretending

something's not from pottery barn to phoebe okay um and she's pretending it's antique and she goes yeah i mean this is from uh you know your and the other thing is from you know yesteryear i was like periods of time i'll never forget yeah i'll start, yesteryear. I was like, periods of time, I'll never forget. I'll start doing yesteryear more. Then let's get our first question to take us back to the yesteryear of our raving days. Hi, Lily and Makita. I'm Lauren from Chelmsford.

My question for you is, what is the most outrageous and weird thing that's happened to you in a rave or after a rave? Because raves are weird, weird places and weird things happen. I once come out of fabric with basically a whole new outfit on. I really don't know how, but that's probably one of the most weird things that's happened to me in a rave. But yeah, I'm really curious to hear your stories about the weird and wonderful things that have happened to me in a rave but yeah I'm really curious to hear your stories about the weird and wonderful things that have happened to you in a rave that's deep leaving the club in

a completely new look you know I wish mine was that tame I remember going to an outdoor like free party rave in Durdle's Door in Dorset with my ex-boyfriend Lester and like my friend Rob Hawkins and a bunch of other people and it must have been like the day after because it was really really bright and sunny and it was like now it was football time so there was like the Euros or the World Cup or something and one of the people that owned you know ran one of the sound systems decided to like set up a tv screen like outside in the daytime and everyone sat there for like 90 minutes pretending that they could see what was happening well and that they were sober enough to take it it was just like what are we all doing here this

is completely insane like everyone's sitting down having been up for like 14 hours off their nuts. Suddenly being really civilized. Actually, I think this is a really important episode to explain what a squat party is. Lily just said free party. We've mentioned squat parties a lot. People might know them as warehouse parties. But when we were very young, this was our first experience of raving. We didn't go to clubs. We went straight in pretty early. I was 13, my first squat party in Islington, which is all right. It's not as dangerous as some of them could be, but they were pretty rough and ready.

You know, people would break into buildings and they were illegal. Illegal is what they were. They were very illegal. Illegal raves. But how would they come about? So basically on a Saturday night, about 11 o'clock 12 o'clock oh yeah you'd call this number and the number would have the address of where the party was going to be on its voicemail right yeah so and then you'd all turn up and sometimes the police would have already raided it and it

would have to have moved somewhere else you'd have to go to the other side of london to like go to this party can you imagine that you would just go right well actually we're going to battersy not hackney wake and you'd be like yep all right then let's go yeah skate on the night bus for seven hours Jesus Christ long before Uber I don't think we even really had mobile phones we'd call the number from a pay phone well I got my banana phone sort of in my second year of squat parties and it got nicked very quickly very quick far too flash a phone for a squat party so my story is an outrageous thing and lily actually said to me this weekend you know we're doing raving for listen bitch are you gonna talk about this and i was like well

yeah parties were everywhere but for some reason a lot of our crew that would have house parties afters for the afters were from like richmond and st margaret's and twickenham which believe you me after 12 hours in a squat bar it's quite an interesting community to enter i have to say and uh one time we were walking back and i saw jesus christ in the sky quite literally had a moment with Jesus Christ in the sky. I remember exactly what it was like. The whole sky went yellow. What did man say to you?

Oh, that I can't remember. I don't think there was anything said. We were just aware of each other. That was just an agreement. Just an agreement. I see you, you see me. I can see you, you can see me. That was quite an outrageous outrageous ridiculous thing to happen

that was just the way it was in the 90s i went to a squat party with lauren and phoebe once in um like brewery road like sort of like down the back of like caledonian road in a islington way and we it was close enough to my mom's house that we could walk back and as we were walking back i had an out-of-body experience where I could see the three of us walking home from above Oh my god I mean I think that these moments very much attributed to the magic, creative

the magic and the imagination let your imagination run wild and your brain will follow if you've just left a squat party. You know that place in Cali Road that you're talking about, that's where I went to my first squat party because obviously they would return to the same venues often because they'd be like this place is good isn't it the place right next to the police station no the prison yeah it's by Pentonville prison yeah I went to a rave there I remember the first one I went to I

could not believe it because you know they weren't high production level but people would put up like that camouflage netting oh yeah it just looked so cool and the lighting and the sound systems and just like it was I loved it I'm really grateful for those being our early years of raving we went in hardcore early and we learned a lot quickly next question please I am Nadine from Perth in Western Australia. My question for raving is I'm a mum of two boys. I'm 39, about to be 40, and I love going out to a rave. I absolutely love it. It doesn't happen very often these days,

but when it does, it's the best night of the year. So my question is, do you feel like there is an age limit on raving like once you hit motherhood that your raving days are over good question this is going to sound so judgy but yes 35 well i i think it's about how you expand your brave. Like, what is a rave to you? I think if I was... No, I think it is about, like, when we were in our late teens and early 20s,

what was the age of the person that when they came into the room, you were like, get out, you are too old. And it was 35. Totally, it was 35. You're like, why are you still here? But that is a squat party. Like, for instance, here, like in the Caribbean, age limit to raving, you've got to be joking.

Like, actually, the elders know how to rave better. For sure. Our parents, my mum and Garfield, know how to rave still. And boy, do they put it into practice. So I say no age limit, but maybe change your rave. Change your rave and you can go on forever because when I was trying to do my birthday party um what's that place down in Latimer Road called Maxilla Maxilla and when I asked him if he could get me a late license he said oh I've used them

all up on my over 40s reggae night and I was like oh my god I'll be able to go to that in a week so just let your rave expand and you can go on forever. I could have merged them. Yes, I could have merged. I could have merged. But I'm welcome there now, so catch me there this summer. But also on this note, I did take my girls when they were quite young. They had this kids' daytime rave for this exact purpose.

So it's for parents with young kids and it's a rave on a Sunday. And it was called Big fish little fish and we'd take the kids under the west way down the road yeah and they'd play like yeah like acid house no way and um yeah and it's so funny because like kids when they're really little it's like they're mesmerized by like the build and the and the drop of like house music and i've got this video of mani like she's on rob's shoulders and it's like there's this build and this build and you can see her thing and then suddenly the bass drops and her eyes just roll in the back of her head deeply in the rave yeah see that drop can't fool nobody that drop takes everyone it made me think

that like you know when you are you know high or drunk at raves there's something that like takes you back to like being like in a quite a sort of childlike state but that obviously exists in young kids because they kind of like move with it in the way that it's very uninhibited yes but i think that that's the reason that even people drink alcohol to be child like i'm not i don't mean do silly things i think that there's something about if we're all having different thoughts right all the time and we're all on different frequencies what alcohol does is it just puts everyone on the same frequency whether it be a better frequency is questionable but it just aligns everyone's frequency and that is sort of like childhood because you're kind of all just kids some people take it a little bit too far

like me and they can't be on the same frequency as everybody else. They just go a little bit too far. When I'm having a drink, I'm just trying to align frequencies. That's what I'm doing. Sure. Do you want to ask the next question, darling? Do you know what? I really do.

Like we're in a jungle, Rave. No, I'm not doing that. Okay, cool. Next question, please. Can I have a question, please? Gullies, Emily here from Manchester. Rave capital of the world. I have a question for you both.

Best club in the world and your favourite DJ. Ciao. Thank you. Do you think Manchester's the rave capital of the world? Yeah, for sure. Definitely up there. I'd say so. Definitely top three.

You know, sort of rave central. Hacienda, Factory Records, all started in Manchester, didn't it? It's got good rave history. What's my favourite club in the world? I don't know. I did quite like Space in Ibiza. Oh, God.

Not now. It doesn't even exist now. But like back in the day, that was a vibe. No, I was dragged there by Auntie Nana and Uncle Warren and Uncle Cameron and everyone. They loved it. When? Years ago.

And I just, I hate Ibiza. You know I hate Ibiza. I actually really don't like a super club. Fabric, you and Phoebe used to quite like. I projectile vomited in Fabric once. I was like standing on the side of the stage and I vomited so fast. My friend Rob was on the other side of the club and my vomit landed on his trainers.

That's actually admirable because what I was going to say is if you vomit in fabric, no one's going to really see it because it's so fucking big. But you managed to get it over to Rob to really feel it. But do you like a super club like clubs that have got that kind of capacity? I hate fabric, but just because I find it so claustrophobic. When I start to think that I'm like six stories down or however far down it is underground, it makes me feel sick.

I really don't like it. I like where I had my birthday party, which is arts club, which is, that's my kind of club, which is like right in the middle of Notting Hill, like in the middle of my ends. We used to go there probably every week. That was, if there was a club in our history,

that was our club, I suppose. Look at artsy club. Yo, yo, ting. Favourite DJ? I'm going to say somewhere between DJ EZ, Shy FX and Seb Chute. Combination! Oh gosh, we get those three together.

Let's have a party. Absolutely. My 40th. Surprise 40th for lily exactly exactly if i got ez maybe a bit of shabba d for your 40th i'll leave that with you leave that with me all right no we won't do any jungle i know my favorite used to be deep in the jungle looking for my dread. I like that one. We're going to take a little break.

So let's go and get a refill in our water bottles. Maybe I'll meet you on the smoking terrace for a quick cigarette. And we'll see you on the other side. Stay hydrated. See you back on the dance floor. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet.

Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Welcome back. Can we get our next question, please? Can we have another question? Hi, Lily and Makita. It's Rachel from Stoke New England in London, originally from the northeast of England.

I met my partner at a rave in Tottenham three years ago. He is also from the northeast of England, coincidentally, and was just down for that rave basically that weekend. So my question for both of you is, what incident has happened at a rave that has completely changed your life forever? Oh, my God. Beautiful question.

I love your rave love story. I think it's really, if you met a partner in the same rave that was only on for that one night that he was going to, I feel like you're like, okay, I've met someone good here. We have the same interests.

What was it, the most life-changing thing that's happened at a rave? I mean, at times, when we were dancing together, like a load of us. Oh no, they all feel life-changing at the time, but in retrospect yeah that's what i'm saying there was this one rave that was in um actual this isn't the same

caledonia there was a squat party in this really posh building just off upper street in islington and i had like by then i sort of like gained a crew you know we'd been going to squat parties for about a year so we kind of knew knew what the people there and what crew was like. I mean, it was nice. It was a good time. And they were playing jungle. And I hate house music and techno. Even techno is what we'd be running from.

Gabba is what we'd be running from. But they played jungle, really good jungle and drum and bass, which my cousin Phoebe loves and so does Lily. And we were just at one point, all three of us doing that dance lil do you remember yeah i remember when i used to do like that one that one like oh hands side side and then that one the squiggle around and i was doing a bit of that and i remember looking around going thinking this is i remember thinking this is the happiest i've ever been in my entire life. And it felt quite like life changing.

So obviously those moments felt like that. But I would say that all of those squat parties really did change our lives in a very formative time in our life. And we did it all together. Well, I went to Glastonbury. I think I must have been about 14 or 15 with you and Phoebe. And let's just say it was a year of firsts for me it was a coming of age Glastonbury and um we were into drum and bass and jungle at the time and you guys took me to the dance tent and you guys were a year older than me and you'd been like going to squat parties and stuff and so it was kind of like the beginning of it for me and I lost you guys I didn't know where you were and I couldn't find you for love nor money and

it was in the dance tent in what I guess it must have been like 98 or something and so yeah I'd been looking around and around the dance I knew that you weren't going to leave because it was the only place that was playing drum and bass and jungle so I knew that that was where you guys were going to be but I was feeling pretty brave, shall we just say. Good detective thinking. And I remember I found a security guy and managed to blag getting on his shoulders and asking him to walk me around the dance center so that I could have some sort of bird's eye view,

some extra height so that I could try and see you from above. That didn't work. Then I managed to, I didn't have like backstage bars or anything but I managed to blag my way backstage and it was Ed Russian optical that were playing on the dance tent at the time and um and I managed to like I singled out the MC and like I don't know how I fucking managed to do it but I was like managed to convince the MC to read out your names over the music and to tell you what tell you where to meet me and it fucking worked and i thought right this is it my life has changed i can do anything lily that is such an example of what a driven imaginative creative

crazy bitch you are little Little fucker I was. Ed, Russian optical, like right in the middle of it. And they're like, and also Mikaela and Phoebe, meet Lily off the front. Meet Lily in the middle of the tent by the big ladders in the middle of the tent. And then what you were doing, we were just there waiting for you. That is an excellent, excellent Glastonbury lost story.

Yes, you were waiting for me. We wouldn't have left you. Just a bit drunk, probably. No, you're probably like, let's get rid of her. No. I mean, probably a bit. Okay, can we have another question for this week's episode of Lishan a Bitch? Hi, girls.

This is Cody from Cornwall. Currently living in Kent after living in Berlin for six years. I mean, I have many raving stories, but I guess the best one happened last year when my now husband decided to get down on one knee in a club toilet and proposed to me. So I'm just wondering what your best club toilet memories are. Thanks. Well, this begs the question, what were two of you doing in the same cubicle?

Can I just ask? Sounds a bit naughty for me. Different genders as well. I don't think we've ever been in a club cubicle together, sorry. Can't relate. No, never happened. No, I mean, the fact that you were proposed to in a club i've definitely never had anything like that happen to me i've never been proposed to lily's been proposed to

twice you lucky bitch actually haven't you been proposed to three times um ed chemical no he gave me a ring but made it very clear that it wasn't a proposal i was like thanks very him here's this diamond ring that's clearly an engagement ring just Just so we're clear, it's not an engagement ring. I don't want to marry you. It's like, oh, head fuck. Thanks. Next question, please. Hi, Lily.

Hi, Makita. It's Lewis calling in from Blackheath in southeast London where I work. Live in Lewisham just down the road. On the topic of raving, my question to you guys was, what is the strangest thing that you've ever inflicted upon yourself? Maybe while under the influence, shall we say?

The strangest thing I've ever inflicted upon myself? Well, I mean, you used to like to dress up in dinosaur costumes. For Glastonbury, that became a really serious ting, actually. I remember I wasn't at Glastonbury because that became a really serious ting, actually. I remember I wasn't at Glastonbury because I had to, I remember I was so upset you were doing Pyramid Stage and it was the year It's Not Me, It's You came out

and you were just so killing it everywhere and you were wearing that purple shirt. You were just, it was a very great time to be Lillianne and I really wanted to be there and be part of it with you. And I had to host live T4force over the weekend so I couldn't go and in all the papers it was just all of you like Alfie you Emily loads of you just all in different dinosaur and other animal outfits I was so sad I wasn't with you I was like oh they really are having a good time you did go for it yeah those were the days I mean I suppose like the

weirdest thing that I've ever inflicted on myself was probably the um the days of when my marriage was breaking down and I like quite frankly lost my mind and I was definitely inebriated and under the influence um but I took to riding around on a hoverboard while carrying um my own personal speaker. So I was like a mobile, flailing pop star, not getting enough attention, and so just sort of riding around the world. That was a very strange time. Once, actually, I took the hoverboard on a flight to New York

and I was going down the tunnel and the hoverboard hit a nick and the thing just went flat on my face. Well, I think that's a metaphor. In front of everyone. A metaphor for your life at the time. I like that you think you inflicted it upon yourself. I feel like you more inflicted that upon others because we were on Kings of the Road

and I was like, is this how you're rolling now? And you were like, yeah. Very like, literally rolling. Yes. I'm rolling. Ah, yes, the hoverboard years. Correct. Don't. I actually can't believe i mentioned it because now people can actually google it is on the internet okay why don't you ask for the penultimate question on this year's on this year's on this week's raving this year's listen bitch

yeah can we have the penultimate question please hi li Hi, Lily and Makita. This is Ruth from Buckinghamshire. So I used to be a big raver, but now not so much because I'm tired and I have responsibilities. So the one thing that I really miss is that feeling of connected consciousness where everybody is experiencing that moment of joy and euphoria all together. So my question is, have you experienced that?

And if you have, what was the song or the set where you felt it? God, mine's really embarrassing, actually. Mine's when we went to see the streets at Reading. Oh, yeah. We went, just me and you, I think, went in the car. I don't think we watched much, but we were definitely there to see the streets. And Blinded by the Lights is probably one of our favourite street songs.

Me and Lily and then this entire crowd. But we were very like, it's just this song that really unites us. And we love it in exactly the same way. We love it for the same reasons. We know every single word. And I felt quite euphoric. I kind of like find that, oh God, that moment of euphoria, united, quite cheesy now.

I don't know. Maybe, like, you know, if we're at Carnival and someone puts on, like, Boom by Miss Dynamite or something. Oh, shit. What am I chatting about? Fuck the streets at Reading. Or, like, more Fire Crew. Oh, shit, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three, three, four, four, five, five, six, six. How are you going to catch me when I'm a man? Six, six. We could recite all of more Fire Crew, oi, if we wanted. We're not going to do that, no. We're not going to do that. I'm just saying if we wanted to.

Who's that running for me? Who's that running for me? Who's that running for me? I swear, you played that tune before I had even, I'd seen it maybe on MTV Bass once, and then it was just your tune. People don't even know. I had that on vinyl before people even knew what that tune was.

That's what it was. Yeah, leave even know. I had that on vinyl before people even knew what that tune was. That's what it was. Yeah, leave it out. Final question. It's been lovely to rave with the world today. How are we going to end this party? Hello, Makita, and hello, Lily. Firstly, I would like to thank you for your beautiful podcast. I'm currently

a dialysis patient, and I listen to all your podcasts while I'm having my treatment. Anyways in regards to raving I did most of my raving on the island of Gran Canaria and we used to go to a club called La Roca. It used to open at seven in the morning until two in the afternoon and then we would go back to somebody's apartment and party and rave a little bit more. So my question to you both is who was the last one at the rave amongst the two of you who had to be dragged out of the rave a little bit more. So my question to you both is, who was the last one at the rave amongst the two of you who had to be dragged out of the rave?

And if you were to rave now, what time do you think you could make it to? Thank you, sir. I'm happy that Miss Me can accompany you through something so challenging. I hope we're giving you some comfort through this time in your life. Yeah.

Okay, last one at the rave. You. This round goes to Makita. Makita, shut up. What are you talking about? In the past, you and Phoebe would stay up later than me. No. You two would keep going. Absolutely not.

I'm not like that. No way. Enterprise House. Please. Give it a rest. Did you ever come to Enterprise? Okay, you're in denial. You're literally in denial.

Did you ever come and rave at Enterprise House? I'm calling Phoebe. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Okay, all right. She better answer. Hello?

Phoebe Oliver. Hi, I'm just recording the podcast with your cousin. And we're doing a Listen Bitch and it's about raving. And the question is, out of the two of me and Makita, who was always the last one up? Makita. Makita would have been up last. She might not have been the last.

Between the two of you, she'd be up last. Yeah! Damn fucking straight. You are so in denial about your own behavior i can't believe it oh okay okay high five hang up on that traitor bitch right now i love you fever call you later we love you and we're gonna call you later but thank you don't worry we've outed all of our old raving stories today all right fair enough what was the second part of the question who would it be now still me lily doesn't drink what a lovely episode of raving we have to say it's been good it has it's been good to remember my um premonition in the sky of jesus christ speaking to me in bushy park 96 oh my god

i can't believe you had like a religious epiphany i didn't really know that but it makes sense now you say it really does now lily allen if you tell me that you haven't got a subject for this week's listen bitch i may quit miss me anything i have you said yesterday oh i guess that means it's my week i said yeah yeah you, yeah, you've got 24 hours to find something. And we have a list. Okay, my subject matter for Listen Bitch is... Revenge. Revenge! I nearly picked that one last week.

I'm really happy. Revenge. The'm really happy. A revenge. The summer of revenge. Maybe you're planning a revenge. Or maybe you're in the middle of one at the moment. Either way. Or maybe you've been avenged and you'd like to out that person. I mean, this is the space for it all.

You can't be avenged. That doesn't come under revenge. Oh, right. What's avenge then? Yeah, that's to go back at someone after they've attacked you. Avenge the person that attacked you. No, you like avenge someone. Yeah, like the avengers. It's not the same thing.

Obviously, I know what revenge is, but I really like, let's just see what the English dictionary says. What? Oh, no, that's revenue. One sec. I was like, that's not revenge. To take vengeance for or to exact satisfaction by punishing the injuring party to vindicate.

It's like to vindicate, isn't it? Oh, God, you know what? I fucking love revenge, I have to say. I love a big fat bowl of revenge. Please send your questions, voice notes, etc. to 08000 30 40 90. That's 08000 30 40 90. I love our number.

We'll see you next week to discuss it in full. Bye, Lily Allen. Love you. I'm going to go swim with turtles now in the Antiguan Sea. I'm going to get my nails did. I'll see you later. I'll see you later. I'll see you later. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver.

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