Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! The Sex Stool

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about kink. What kinks do they have? Have they ever kink shamed anyone? What kinks have they been propositioned with in the bedroom? Do they feel like kinks themselves, being in the public eye?Next week, we want to hear your questions about ENDINGS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language, adult themes and strong sexual references.Details of help and support if you’ve experienced sexual violence are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains some very strong language, some adult themes, and some strong,

strong sexual references that aren't up everyone's strata, okay? Welcome to a slightly less exciting episode of Listen Bitch. Sorry. Hey now, why is it not exciting well i mean we still have billy's um theme yes of course that's quite exciting to me and lil but it's a billy eilish theme so i guess there's a mix that's quite heady but we're quite boring bitches sexually the theme is kink kink i could not be in more of a vanilla phase of my life if i tried oh god you know what that means means we're gonna have to hop back to some stories of your

i think you are i'm gonna leave it to you this week well to bring the kink yeah i feel like we've had quite a lot of you know an opening into my sexual prowess of the past on this show and i don't think we know a lot about yours that's bullshit i talked about never having anal sex although that was quite a revelation thank you very much what that having never okay so let's talk about some of the things that you have done we'll get into it over the course of this show yeah some of the kinky i've revealed that i've never done anal sex wow that must have been so brave so brave of you babe put that out there by the way you can just call me lily vanilli for this i beg you audience you bring the kink so that we don't have to. First question, please, for today's Listen Bitch.

Hi, my name is Nancy. I'm from Florida in the US and love the podcast. My question was, do either of you have a kink that you will not admit? And if you do, can either of you guess the other ones? Whoa. Whoa. Oh, God, I don't know if this is a kink. Should I start?

God, this is exhausting. I'm exhausted already by this topic. What, by having to be truthful or think about your kinky shit no i'm just like trying to think of like when i've been remote i had one relationship where i kind of liked asphyxiation a little bit but that was it what i just like to be strangled a bit okay okay? Yeah, yeah. I think that comes under here. I think that comes under this title. I don't know.

I think that's quite tame in this day and age. It's fiction. Yes. No. Look, I'm not saying it's all fun and games, because it isn't. Sometimes it ends in complete disaster. But some people like it. I don't.

I just have a little sex chair. I was going to talk about that. A sex chair? Okay. Please do. Pray tell. I need to know about the sex chair. I was going to talk about that. A sex chair? Okay. Please do. Pray tell. I need to know about the sex chair. Obviously.

It's actually a sex stool. Oh, my God. Okay. I can get it for you if you want. No, that won't do. Tell us about your sex stool, Mickey. What happens on the sex stool? Oh, fuck.

I really can't believe I'm talking about this. I really like having sex on the chair. Wait, so he's on the chair and you're on top? Yeah. Correct. Okay. What is it about that that you like? Is it the feeling or is it like,

is it the look of it from the app? Is it like, what is it? I guess it's the feeling okay so it's the positioning of the dick when he's sitting on the chair no no it's enough so is that enough what are we meant to talk about our aunties listen to miss me lily so i think they've all probably had sex too it's okay on a chair i bet as well yeah sex stools that count good move on next question not even joking next question please hi makita and lily fabio here i wanted to know if you've ever been kink shamed by anyone or if you've been the one to kink shame loving the podcast by the way laters fabio yes yes later hey fabio thanks for

getting in touch fab well i hope i didn't shame you about the asphyxiation just now a little bit but you know whatever some used to being shamed for everything um no no no but not here no shame here not in the kink chat listen bitch have i ever kink shamed anyone no i don't think so i'm quite into like you know normalizing everything that people are ashamed about in themselves i had a whole album called no shame correct and actually i was talking to david about this last night you know when i during the breakdown of my last marriage i was very very promiscuous and experimental. And I, you know, engaged in, well, I had sex with female prostitutes. Sex workers, sorry, sex workers. It was quite a kinky period. Yeah. And I wrote about it in my book,

because I felt like I sort of lived in a state of perpetual fear in that period of time because I've always felt like I was about to be sort of gotcha'd by the tabloids and so I knew that this thing existed and that I'd been behaving this way and I thought you know that I was that was going to be revealed so I thought to sort of you know take a little bit of the power back I would reveal it myself in my book. And I did that for two reasons, one to like, you know, try and reclaim a little bit of the power where that conversation was concerned. But also because, you know, I think that lots of other people have done the same thing. And I think that when they hear someone like me talk about their own experiences in a

like non shameful, sort of matter of fact way, then it makes people feel better about themselves so i'm always you know wanting to do that i want to do that with my music and i want to do that with you know that to me that's what art is that's what creativity is is helping people come to terms with their own behavior and behavior that society sometimes looks down on but you know we're all just human right we're creating art today with listen bitch yes so i suppose it's our service to be as open as possible uh to help people i don't believe in shaming anyone really yeah no i don't think i've kink shamed but um maybe not many people have divulged their kinks with me enough for me to have a chance to shame them kinks can be quite a secret thing but i would never the answer is i would bloody never do what you want in the bedroom

or the kitchen or the sex store wherever you want to have a good time it's up to you i wonder if i kink shame my husband because he often quite you know asks for things and i'm like no babe it's not happening that is a kink shame come now i'm not like you piece of shit how dare you ask me to do that i'm just like headache little headache i'll just put you in a headache maybe not tonight what about a little tappy tap little what a little bit of hitting a little bit spanking i mean i'm not adverse to that. It's not really something that we do, but... I don't like spanking. I don't like spanking. It triggers me to when my grandma used to hit me with the wooden spoon.

Okay. All people got licks from their grandparents, right? All parents in the black community. In the black community community we say licks and my grandma used to give me licks and i used to get them so much more than phoebe and uh theo my cousins because i'm a loud mouth and always got in trouble more and when she came for me with that spoon i was like oh shit here we go so no i'm not into spanking bit triggering for me maybe you should lean into it keep a little wooden spoon by the sex stool and um

make a whole area yeah a little you know move from a sex stool to a sort of sex corner yeah i think you owe it to little makita to really face your fears and reclaim them you know reclaim that spanking. Bring that wooden spoon in, babes. At the end of the term of doing this, who knows how long we'll do this. We might be 60 when we're still doing this, but I'll be engaging in anal sex.

Have a wooden spoon by the sex store. It's going to really change my life, my sex life. Let's move on. Would you like to ask for the next question? Yes, please. Can we have another question? Ruby from london hi love you guys quick story i was once making out with this guy whatever just just met him and he whips out this sudden like kink for teeth and he got off on like when you know when you're making out with someone your teeth like accidentally clash together which I don't know about you but I fucking hate it I

wasn't down with it I mean I went along with it because it was just mad and it was just like an insane experience but anyway my question is have you guys ever started to get with someone and then they've just whipped out this kink, like, off the bat, like, surprise! And you've been like, oh, no, this is not, I'm not for this. Oh, God. Thank you, Ruby. By the way, is that his kink or is he just, like, a shit kisser? Well, yeah, cos at which point did she realise that it was a kink?

Like, did he say, like, I just really like teeth, by the way? I think he would have verbally said teeth by the way i think he would have verbally said by the way come here and make sure in this kissing give me your teeth babe our teeth keep knocking each other because i'm really into that i'd be like no um oh god i just can't talk about this why do you find it so hard to talk about? Do you feel like you're going to be judged? No, I feel like I'm about to, like, shame some person that I've slept with and this is what they liked.

And it's like, I'm telling the world. And if they've heard or their girlfriend or their mother. No, babe, that's being an artist. You're an artist, babe. Like, you know, give yourself the freedom. Shout out, you know who you are. He liked to finish. Oh oh for fuck's sake um in my face wow okay and i hated that and i found it really aggressive and um i wondered why a lot and I didn't kink shame him.

I didn't stay with him very long when I realised this was like quite a constant thing. But I just, I really wondered what it was. Like when someone has a kink, there's always a reason, right? That's just domination. That's just- Yes, exactly.

And then I think I was too young to sort of really allow myself to know that it was of course about dominating me. But it just, it started to inf about dominating me but it just it started to infuriate me actually yeah for me that would be a huge no I would be like that is not happening how many times would you let that wouldn't happen the first time I'd be like take that away from my face okay I was with him for about a month I should have said something earlier is what you're saying. Take your stinky willy out of my face.

And no, this doesn't make you more powerful than me, you weak little shit. Yeah. That's what I should have said. Have I ever, I mean, someone that I slept with once pulled out a wig and then a matching butt plug with the ponytail hair of the wig and was like you up for it i was like no no no no no a butt plug sure let's have a good time everyone fine do what you want but the butt plug had like a ponytail attached to it in the same

color that the wig was so i understand it's the creepiest thing i've ever heard but who's wearing the wig it was all for me yeah it would have been for me i was like that's not happening but i like the i like you know i like to match my tops and my tails not literally but you know i do like to match my eyeliner with my trainers, say, but, like, not the wig with the butt plug. In the same vein. How old is that? Look at what a kink-understander you are. Yeah, I was like, I get it, you know.

I'm a matchy-matchy girl myself, but not in this particular instance. Can I get Billie Eilish's phone number so I can just be like, thanks so much for taking us to this place? I think we've discussed this on another show, but my sister told me once, well, her friend Terry, I think it was, told me that she ended up going back to some guy's house

and he pulled out a prom dress and trainers and was like, I'm a really big Lily Allen fan, can you dress up as her? So, Lily, you actually have been a kink. I am a kink, yeah. You are a kink i am a kink yeah you are a kink bitch oh shit god look at kink look at kink unraveling my soul moment by moment let's get another question let's see how deep can we go deeper probably hey girlies uh my name's laura i live in east london i'm gonna do my best not to fangirl

right now because i absolutely love this podcast but i know you guys said that you wanted us to keep these voice notes short so i'm not going to get into that so my question is about kinks that maybe you thought you would never like or never try but ended up loving them for instance i always said that i would never use the word daddy in the bedroom it kind of freaked me out I didn't know why people would want to involve their dad in the bedroom but then I quickly learned once using it that's not the point and it's quite hot um and I quite like it but yeah do you have any kinks that you would not try or any kinks that you have tried and not expected to like them okay love you bye

laura we are you live in east london so do i so let's share our kinks and then if you see me in the street tell me it's you and we'll know that we've shared something together daddy i cannot i cannot with daddy i'm also really against baby talk no these things i think anything infantilizing and parental i find that for me it just makes me it's not it doesn't turn me on lily baby talk baby talk no fucking way could never be me but yeah i might shout out daddy once or twice. Have you before? Yeah. Oh, latest.

Oh yeah. Considering what we've said earlier about how you've got daddy issues and that you're always looking for a big hairy daddy. I guess it's just an extension of that. If anything, it's just like sort of immersing yourself in the role. Yeah. Oh my God.

I really hope my husband doesn't listen to this show because he's going to just be like, where, where is this person that's like doing all these sexy things? Yeah. Oh my God, I really hope my husband doesn't listen to this show because he's going to just be like, where? Where is this person that's like doing all these sexy things? Yeah, where's this kinky bitch? Yeah, bring her home. He's like, why are you lying to everyone? Pretending that you're this liberated. David would love this.

David would love this kinky bitch. So why do you think the kinky bitch has gone? Where did she go? I think the alcohol had quite a lot to do with, do you think the kinky bitches has gone where did she go i think the alcohol had quite a lot to do with um you know the kink for me i don't think before i got together with david i don't think i'd ever had sex not drunk actually jesus yeah jeez unless maybe like morning sex you know but still a bit drunk definitely hard but we'd call that hungover high sex yeah you know comfort sex cozy oh oh it's not a kink but i love morning sex cozy sex yeah cozy morning sex is great is that kink no no whips and chains kink cozy morning sex not kink

not kink got it holly oaks adjacent sex is not a kink that's just yeah but what about holly oaks late night okay i am kink shaming now that's just weird all right let's have another question let's keep this kinky train moving all aboard the kink train hi both love the podcast it's daniel from clapton in hackney um on your subject of kinks i'm no kink shamer and i know lily wants to get straight to the point in terms of the questions, so no story. But have you ever felt like a kink? Being in the public eye like you both are, do you feel like anyone has treated you like a kink? Interested to know your thoughts.

Wagwa, neighbour. He sounds quite fit, by the way. Yeah, exactly. Single? No. But, yes, quitting with the questions of course it's it's actually really nice having these succinct to the point questions but i need the stories as well so if you could just like fit that in as well that'd be great for me when it comes to what was the question because i did have an answer do you feel like a kink yes when i was a kid when

i was really young there was this thing called upskirt. And they would get stills of you from the TV show that you were on or whatever. If it was Lily, it'd be like on stage and take a still of your knickers. I was like 17. And then they would put it on this website called upskirt. There was one year where it was like literally just me on the pop world sofa, just up my skirt. It's still very much a thing, just by the way. Is it? Yeah, very much so. But there's not like websites dedicated to it they're just paparazzi shots it's still very much a thing but it's actually illegal now to upskirt somebody in

england well there you go yeah there you go i always get and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and a bit terrified always get boys go to me oh my god we used to all watch you in prison we loved you and i'd be like guys just a load of like rapists and like serial killers sitting around watching t4 and that used to really freak me out that they all kind of do you know what it's funny you say that because do you remember our friend simon yeah yes who was in prison for quite a long time at the beginning of my career he would tell, yeah, there was pictures of me up on the walls in prison, like everywhere. Yeah.

Prison pinup. Yeah, it's a bit unnerving. No, I quite like it. Maybe that's my kink. In fact, I'd forgotten about it. I'm going to put it in the wank bank. Wank bank. Thanks for the reminder. i'm the opposite i'd rather my profile was a little less in jail

in jails around the country but i'm sure it is it was very much a t4 thing because i think they let them all watch tv let maybe inmates watched a lot of tv at the weekend i don't know um recently i have been posting stuff on my Instagram I guess maybe just because we've been working and doing photo shoots and stuff and and there's been a few instances where my feet have been out and I've been getting quite a lot of messages from people asking me for foot content for money and um not there yet but you know I'm not also yet, but, you know, I'm not also saying no. Like, you know, why not? But, and I spoke to, I have a lady that comes and does my nails.

Shout out Harriet Westmoreland and Millie, who does my feet from York. And they come down to London sometimes and do my hands and my feet for me. And they informed me that I have five stars on WikiFeet, which is quite rare. But yes, that my feet are rated quite highly on the internet. What the fuck is wiki feet? What do you think it is? A Wikipedia about your feet. Famous people's feet.

And everyone's rated. So you either have like one star if you've got shit feet or if you've got beautiful feet like me. Or dogs. Do you know what they call the feet dogs here in america no way yeah because my kids always say they're like if like marnie's feet are near ethel she's like get your dogs away from me or stinky dogs away from me it's like an american thing that's insane because if your feet were really beautiful and they're all like yours like mummies and it wouldn't really make sense to call them dogs maybe puppies so what kind of uh what kind of money we're talking because i watched

kardashians this week and chloe kardashian got offered a million for something to do with her feet i mean she harriet my the nail lady she said that i could make a lot of money from selling foot content on onlyfans and i'm like not, not no, not no. Like, would you leave Miss Me to just do foot content for OnlyFans? Yeah. Good. Good to know where we stand, team. Team, you get that?

We'll be back with more questions about kink after this short break. Do with this short break what you will. Yeah, get kinky if you want. Get kinky with it. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you.

Rogers. Welcome back. Let's have another question about kink. No. Kinky, kinky, kinky, winky, la, la, dipsy, po, po. Maybe we shouldn't, like, mix kink and the Teletubbies, although... Kinky. Although... Big kink, big kink.

Hi, Makita and Lily. My name's Amy and I'm from near Exeter in Devon. So, the girls at work, I work in a spa, and the girls at work and we have on a couple occasions looked up websites for sending pictures of feet to make a bit of extra money people men probably who have the obsessions with feet pay for photos we also did actually look up one for sending your dirty pants. I mean, it's a bit too gross for me,

but just wondered if you've ever looked at anything like that for making a bit of extra cash. Oh, look, Dino's just sent me my WikiFeet profile. Five stars. Beautiful feet. Beautiful feet feet they say dino can you find out if i even have a wiki feet page i i'm i'm assuming i don't oh makita i'm really sorry to tell you you've got three stars okay feet oh my god Oh my God.

Oh my God. Do you know what? Wiki feet. I really don't need that shit right now. I can't believe it. Yeah, you've got okay feet, babes. It's okay. What about the other day I put in the group that someone had sent British singer actress Lily.

Well, first of all, the person that sent me the message, she said, ah, ha, ha. So I looked up the Chloe top that you mentioned in this interview that we did and it had Lily Allen style. So I looked. Anyway, long story short,

someone is selling a picture of your boob for £6.21 on eBay. And then she sent me the link to the thing and there's a photo. It says British singer slash actress, Lily Allen, almost free, nice boob photo six pounds 21 wow almost free as in how much it is to purchase almost free yeah only six it's literally just the postage and packaging but also i would like to add that i am actually pregnant in the picture

and i think that you could probably put an extra couple of pounds on for that because that's the kink isn't it like pregnant ladies boobs i'm sure it is you've got better titty pictures than that out there in the world i like the one with your bunny ears tell me about it right like come on that's free what about me like actually on the cover of gq with my tits yeah oh yeah there's some actual official shit out there. I'm sure you'd get that for a score, if anyone's looking. Last question for Listen Bitch. Hi guys, my name's Lottie and I'm 23 years old. So about six or seven months ago, I briefly started seeing a man who was a lot older than me

and his kink was very much like control and dominance. And I was like very experimental. I was like, let's just see where this goes. And I was having a bit of fun with it. So, you know, at work, he would ask me to send photos. And if I didn't, I'd get a punishment. And like after a while, it started getting quite uncomfortable for me um to the point where if I kind of said no um in intercourse it wouldn't matter to him because

it was like a part of his kink that he was like in control of the situation um I got out of that situation quite quickly but I didn't know if you guys had experienced something like that, where somebody had a kink and they used it against your power or anything like that. Oof. Thank you for sharing that story. I'm happy you got out of that. I just think generally, no is an important word in the bedroom.

And if it's not heard it's not easy though not everyone is um able to say no i'm not like a big knower and i think that also like that what i said earlier about me not really having sex um without alcohol it was quite a lot of times when i was like doing things that i didn't necessarily want to be doing but I was too I mean as I said I'm a people pleaser and I don't want to I have like a deep rooted fear of abandonment so I feel like if I'm if I don't play the game then I'm going to get abandoned and rejected and I think a lot of men really are attracted to that you know women that they feel that they can dominate but yes really really thin line between kink and rape that's right i'm sorry but how else can we say that yes i agree i i also

i really i feel like i allow that a lot more in my relationships but not in the sex part i have a fear of someone running away and rejecting me um and so i don't want to fuck up in the relationship and so i allow a lot of things to happen in the relationship but i've i've it weirdly i feel differently in bed which is quite nice i'm literally the complete opposite it is actually switched isn't it it's like mirrored for you in the relationship you are you kind of don't take shit. You are, you can be quite dominant and you, you know, in the bedroom, it seems that would be slightly different.

Slightly different. Two different Taurians in one world. Again, David's going to listen to this and be like, what, what wife? Who? What are you talking about? Who are you? Put the ponytail on, bitch.

Who are you? And bring that ponytail butt plug to bed tonight bring that ponytail back babe but yes i'm happy uh dear listener that you got out of that well done i i know what you mean by sometimes it's hard to say no but also it's sometimes hard to leave things so well done for just leaving right well this has been great it's been lovely to leave things. So well done for just leaving. Right. Well, this has been great. It's been lovely to see you. Yeah, I'm really glad that we've got that one over and done with. And breathe. Everyone breathe. Never felt so exposed in my life.

Okay, can we see the stool? Can you bring the stool of shame? Did you call it the stool of shame? If you're calling it the stool of shame, you can't see it. No, you were like that you were ashamed of it. So I like i want you to embrace it i'm not ashamed of my sex stool but i do think okay well show us the sex stool i do think i should keep some things for myself get the sex stool get the sex stool oh my god look at that dutty stool. Wait.

Look at that. I've just got to dust it off. Come, stay, stool. I've just got to dust it off because it's a little bit rusty. Okay. It's holding magazines at the moment. No, it's a really beautiful old stool, actually. Okay, nice. Yeah, lovely.

It's like wooden with like a nice velvet gold no it's not a pe stall it's a sex stall dino it's a sex stall i'll tell you so yeah there it is i can't believe you made me do that and because of that you have to pick the theme for next week's listen bitch fuck's sake i'll show you my sex stool, you set the theme. That's how it works over here at Miss Me Towers. OK, next week's theme for Listen Bitch is... ..endings. Ah, I like it. I like it.

Mmm. I think we need something sort of gentle and classic after that fucking kink nightmare. So let's see where endings take us. I'm hoping it takes us to sort of children's story time. I'm thinking like it's coming up towards the end of term, like end of term, end of a job, end of a relationship, end of a book, happy endings, rear ending um you know everything she's incredible she's incredible

the number is oh eight thousand well how do i still not know it you do it oh eight thousand thirty forty ninety oh eight thousand thirty forty ninety she'll be back next week and so will i lily i'll call you tomorrow. Love you, bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. If you're affected by anything in this episode and you want more support, you can go to bbc.co.uk forward slash action line.

Just smashed right into the World Trade Center. It's a big, big explosion of flames. People Who Knew Me, a story about lies. You used a terrorist attack to run away from your mess and fake your own death. And love. Are you proposing to me? In the face of death. I'm Paul. I'm six weeks into chemo

and I have no eyebrows. An original drama for BBC Sounds. Yeah, something's up. Starring Rosamund Pike and Hugh Laurie. Happy death anniversary. People who knew me. Listen on BBC Sounds.

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