Miss Me? - Mons Hubris

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss airport anxiety, tradwives and the anatomy of the vagina.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan HaskinsMiss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. I woke up this morning and I wanted to listen to a podcast, but I had to remind myself there were some very strong language

and some adult themes. Hello. Wow. Look at this room. I actually noticed the chair. I thought it was going to be that wallpaper that I noticed, but this fucking chair is just so nice.

It's sort of like, got a bit of like Big Brother diary room energy now. Oh my God. That's only because you're sitting like that all cross-legged. You're right. It does feel like you're about to share something quite intimate with me. Hopefully the chair brings that energy. I just can't deal with it in here anymore. I miss my mum.

I miss my kids. I just can't deal with it in here anymore. I miss my mum. I miss my kids. Classic diary entry. I've been to your house more recently than you and you're finally back at home and finally the office is done. And I know what you mean now

because when I got to your house, I was like, oh, she is doing Miss Me like right from the room next to the kitchen. So I get why you wanted to bring it all up here. And it looks lovely, Lil. Great to be here in New York. Tell us about the room. This is a podcast.

Clips will be shown. But, you know, how do you describe what's going on in this room? I mean, I don't really know how you'd describe it. It's just got some sort of mental wallpaper from this French wallpaper company that I'm very fond of called Zuber. And then my bookshelf with some books and things on it. And a couple of pictures down here. One is done by Marnie, my daughter, the frog. Really?

Yeah. Oh, my God, that blue and yellow one. Lovely, Marnie. I know. And then some old stills of me from a photo shoot. Yeah, I know. And there are going to be more things in frames up on the walls, but because the wallpaper is so expensive,

I don't want to put them up myself and ruin everything. So I'm going to wait for a professional to come and do all of that. Fair enough. And then my Eames chair, which, you know, is a design classic, which I've had reupholstered in, like, a nice tiger print. And I like that you've picked tiger and not leopard print. The entire basement of my house, as you know, is tiger skin. So it kind of like, you know, brings the top of the house

and the bottom of the house together in a way. Yeah, Naima was here yesterday and she said, oh, because Cousin Sasha posted about when we stayed at your house. She was like, is that a full tiger skin room? And I was like, is that the sitting room? I said, no, no, it's just the TV room. She's like, that a full tiger skin room and i was like it's like is that the sitting room i said no no it's just the tv room she's like that's like so fucking cool so yeah i guess it is really cool it is really nice tiger and then my little fatty priscilla's in the can you see her yeah again there she is look having a little lie down i had to wrench myself

away from that cat but anyway it wasn't easy getting home because I saw you last week. We had a lovely lunch in our old ends. That was nice. We had a little walk through Notting Hill. And then I didn't see you and then you were like, I'm off. And then all I could just see on certain groups on WhatsApp was just some sort of hell that you were in. Yeah, so...

What happened? I suffer from, like like travel anxiety anyway and then look i know that there were millions of people all over the world affected by the it outage shout out microsoft or crowd surfer or whatever the company's called shout out microsoft yeah well because it was their programs that went down right yeah so we got the airport, and there was just like the biggest queue that I've ever seen to check in. And we still had like two and a half or three hours until our flight. But there was sort of like a rumor mill kind of like going around the passenger line, and there wasn't much help from ground staff.

And so everyone was just like, you know, you've just got to get in the queue. All the flights are going to be delayed because of the IT outage. So we just sort of stayed in our queue. And then after two hours, we got to the front of the queue and there was still an hour left to go until our flight. Right. And the guy was like, yeah, sorry, they've closed the flight. And I was like, but I thought that all the flights were going to be delayed. And he was like, no, we're trying to keep them on schedule.

And I was like, well, we've just been in the queue for like three hours. And he was like, we'll have to rebook you on another flight, but we can't rebook because our systems are down. So you have to rebook by calling customer services. Oh my God. It was a logistical nightmare. I wouldn't really have minded. I would have just gone home and, you know, waited it out until it had all gone, you know, sort of blown over. But my girls had to get to summer camp by Sunday. So this was Friday. So we were going to get to New York on Friday afternoon. And then have a couple of days for them to do their washing.

Because as we all know, I can't work a washing machine. That won't be you doing it. So we had that time planned. And then I was going to drive them up to Massachusetts on the Sunday. And yeah, so we did turn around. We went back into London, booked on another flight for 10 o'clock the next morning. And then I woke up at like five o'clock in the morning. And it said that our flight had been delayed until 10 o'clock that night, which meant we

wouldn't have got into New York until Sunday morning. And I was just like, I just had a bad feeling about it. I was like, I just don't think they're going to like get their shit together. We're not going to get there. And you would think, you know, it'd be all right for the girls to be a couple of days late for summer camp. But the thing is, it isn't like that's when they do all of their like bonding and they meet all the people in their cabins. And that's when they kind of like form their friendship. So I really didn't want them to miss that first day.

So I booked us new flights on JetBlue from Gatwick. I thought you were going to say you booked a private plane. I was like, incredible. No. You didn't take it there. Although my kids did say that. They were like, why don't we book a private plane? I was like, that would be your allowance until you're 95.

Who's getting that, guys? I'm like, dream on. Okay, still quick thinking. We couldn't get on a flight until like wednesday till new york everything was just booked up because everything was so backed up so my genius travel agent mind of mine i booked us a flight to boston which is closer to the girls summer camp and then david drove all of their trunks and everything up from here. And I tried to do as much washing in Boston as we could. We may or may not have gone shopping and bought them a bunch of crap from Brandy Melville.

Soften the blow. They've been through hell. I got them there. I got them there on time. Come on. I got them there on time. That's good mothering. It kind of was. I mean, I was very stressed. I don't know if I was very nice to them for, you know, the sort of two days. I was quite sort of snappy because it was stressful, like trying to get all these suitcases unloaded and stuff back into trunks in hotel rooms.

And it was all like a bit of a nightmare. And then labelling. None of the clothes were labelled. Everything had to be labelled. So me and David were up till like four o'clock in the morning. Oh, camp labelling. Labelling all of their clothes. That's a nice bonding experience for you though.

Camp labelling. Yeah, it was great. It's a real strong point of David's, as you can imagine. I read David had a fucking great time. Yeah, he loved it. Especially after his four and a half hour drive from New York to Boston with a bunch of trunks in the back of his car. We dropped the kids off and it was great it was so sweet it was I was so glad that we got them there on time and then we left me and David left and we drove out and as we drove out I could see

Ethel walking across this field with her arms in arms with like three other girls. Oh my God. And I just burst into tears. And I can't tell you, I cried for like 90 minutes. David was quite concerned about me. I was bereft. You're not even really a crier. I was like, I was so mean to them. I was so snappy. I didn't cuddle them for long enough.

They don't have phones. I can't speak to them for a month. So they are gone. Whoa. We can write letters to each other. That's it. So I can't speak to them for a month so they are gone whoa we can write letters to each other that's it so I can't call them they can't call me this might be quite good for you it will be good and it was transformative for them last year they had such a great time so I know that they'll enjoy it but it was just you know me I'm like the packing queen and I really pride myself on my organization skills and yes

making sure that and I was just so discombobulated it was just not part of my plan and yeah it was a lot but quick thinking is very you and I like that you just you fucking solved it and you got them there and you didn't have to spend two nights at camp no I do have to do that I have to in three weeks oh that's still happening okay that's still happening. Okay, that's still happening. I didn't realise there was such separation between kids and the parents with camp. I didn't know that it was like only contact through the written word. Yeah.

It's very nice. It's very old school. I've already written them two letters. And David's written them letters. Oh, it's only been two days. I know. It's okay. I think that was quite an emotional weekend for you oh my gosh and um i think you did really good my vape got a good old chugging

let me tell you i bet it did my mom hosted the proms this weekend oh wow i know and she's so fucking casual about it she's like then i've got work saturday i was like okay what are you doing saturday she just wouldn't answer i was like mom what are you doing on saturday she's like oh my god i'm hosting the proms i was like that's really quite a good answer. And then the theme was disco. Oh. So I decided to go. Okay. And?

Yeah. Well, I didn't realise, Lil, that disco is a real awakener for the sort of twickener middle classes, actually. Really? I mean, the whole royal abbott hall completely packed and everyone on their feet dancing to like everybody dance clap your hands i was like this is actually really fun and we were in like the pit where mum was doing all her like links for the show she was actually like in the crowd she's usually in the studio upstairs so that was extra fun it

was like me cousin sullivanfield. Was everyone doing that dance? You mean this one? Like arm to hip. The electric slide one. Yeah, that came up quite a lot, the slide. But I was quite proud of my mum because we grew up just down the road, as you know. Yeah.

And I don't think we ever thought my mum would ever host something at the Alba Hall of that size, never mind three years in a row. And she did it so well. Because the thing about disco that she reminded me is that disco is a music genre that comes out of hardship to bring joy and she made sure that the hardship was talked about and discussed and where the culture that disco is actually born from and not just like woo bony m like there is actually a story behind why disco

had to be invented and i just thought god my mom's a fucking great broadcaster because she just made sure that was threaded through but then also all the joy but i did suddenly realize that about 11 o'clock i was in the royal albert hall dancing to like like you know niall rogers and freak i was like okay is this is this who i am but i was was very, very proud. And it was nice to see, you know how we were talking about men releasing their emotions through football? I felt like it was a real certain kind of person who probably

isn't that free that often and doesn't feel that loose and open and it felt like the whole room was reliving being 20 in the 70s. Or maybe 80s. So it was a really beautiful thing. I was really proud sounds beautiful did she enjoy it she had a really good time I think she actually felt really proud of herself she doesn't really take a look at the work she's doing too often but I was like mum that was a big

deal and she was like yeah it really was yeah she's quite sort of like on to the next thing isn't she she's like right that's done what we're doing next that's exactly what she said to me the other day she said to me the other day I'm just to me the other day, I'm just like, on to the next, on to the next. And I'm like, I think at 61, when you're doing these extraordinary things, you should really like take the time to go, OK, that was pretty amazing. Because none of this shit we ever thought my mum would do. Imagine us like sitting at home watching the faculty in McGregor Road while your mum and Garfield were doing whatever, you know, next door.

If someone said to me in 20 years time, you're going to be hosting the proms at Royal Albert Hall, I would not have believed them. Do you know the comedian Peter Serafinowicz? No, but let me Google him. You'd know him if you saw a picture of him. Yeah. Anyway, he came over with his two children for dinner and I made veal saltimbocca with roast potatoes and lovely salads.

Oh, my God, I love this guy. I love this guy. Is that David's friend? Yes. He's English, no? He's English, yeah, but he loves New York. All right. And so they came over for dinner. I did my, you know, wifely duties.

I made a beautiful meal, which was, I was quite nervous about getting in the kitchen again because I haven't been in the kitchen for a while. So what was the meal? Veal what? Saltimbocca. So it's like veal cutlets, which, you know, you bash them like thin and then you put a leaf of sage on top of each cutlet and wrap it in prosciutto. Oh, gosh. We've been wanting to talk about trad wives. This would have been a really great intro. No, we are talking about trad wives together. I love that you're going to lead us into trad wives for having slight trad wife behavior over the weekend. If I was a trad wife, this would have been me my husband and i got in from boston from a four and a half hour drive he invited some friends over for dinner and i went to

the butcher no stop it no who told them you cannot have a personality i assembled the veal by wrapping some prosciutto and tucked in some sage. Stop it. Okay. I put the veal in the pan. Okay. I personally haven't seen this thing too much, right? And then I refused to say trend. And then you said, I'm going to watch Tradwives. And I purposely haven't looked at it too much because I thought, let me, let Lily tell me what that is from her point of view.

But then you sent me one and I got it. I just understood completely. Like these few clues of like, has to have a terrible voice. So with absolutely no personality has to, has to be about how you serve your family and your husband. Like this is what I mean when I, when I say has to, the content has to be your husband and children.

And it seems like you don't do much but that. And it's really like over the top. So it's like, I woke up this morning and my husband didn't know what he wanted for breakfast. So I just made 17 different dishes. I started with homemade banana, which I baked in the oven for 45 minutes. I then sliced 73 bananas in half because that's how my husband likes them. Stop it.

This is problematic. In quarters because that's how my third oldest child, they've all got like seven kids. And they're like dressed in full Chanel looks, like full makeup. You're like, I think it's on the face of it, it's meant to be like, I'm just really good at cooking. I want to share my recipes with you. And I think it's on the face of it it's meant to be like I'm just really good at cooking I want to share my recipes with you and I'm a homemaker but really what it is is

just like look at how good I am at life and look how shit you are at life but the thing is it's a bit worrying because the common theme is I don't know like the purpose of serving your family I don't think there's anything wrong with that it's just the like doing it in the most perfect way so it's like you know she'll be there in like sort of full chanel look and full makeup holding a baby while also like you know making custard from scratch yeah and it's just sort of it's shaming yes it's shaming and my point is more this that there is one sort of way to properly serve your husband and family which is like to cook everything everything they need and to wake up at the crack of dawn and check that your husband's okay and whatever he needs next i feel like it's deeply problematic it could lead to some real bullshit occurring

absolutely and also it's very important that there is not even a single way that you could detect any hysteria in my voice at any time. Right. I am the most calm and collected person. All of this is so easy for me. You know what? The one you sent me, she's like a child. Isn't she like 24, the girl that married? Nara.

Nara Azario. So Nara's one. And then I saw a trad wife who has about nine kids and lives on a farm with her husband. But I mean, that's probably not, that doesn't stand out that much in the trad wife crowd possibly. To be honest, my favorite ones are the ones that like do it on a budget. So it's like, you know, it's not glamorous. It's like, it's usually just like a, you know, a girl.

She'll be like, how a 23 year old mom feeds a family of five in under $17 or something? And she just, like, takes a bunch of, like, frozen food and, like, chucks it into a pan. And then puts some oven chips in the oven and serves it up. And goes, done. Yeah, it's like, yes, thank you. Thank you, that makes me feel better. But Lily, you are quite a, no, not a child wife,

but you are a really good, wonderful, dedicated homemaker. I mean that from someone who's stayed in your house. And I was like, this is someone who's built a beautiful home for their family. And as you say, you make veal schnicklebuch when you feel the need. Saltimbocca. When the urge takes you. I don't think I'm a trad wife, but that's not what I'm saying. But yeah, you know, I do enjoy the domestic side of my life.

I enjoy being, you know, here for my kids when they get home from school. And I enjoy cooking like fresh, healthy meals. I love domestication. Me too. The neighborhood that I live in is really great because I haven't been to a supermarket since we've lived here. Everything on our, you know, little street at the end of our road, there's like a little butcher's and a cheesemonger's and a baker's and a greengrocer's. So I can get all of the different things that I need daily. So I don't really do like a weekly shop.

I just like get up in the morning. I decide what my husband wants to eat. I get up in the morning and go to my local butcher's. My husband is really craving roast chicken. You fucking dad wife. Actually, David is quite appreciative of the beautiful food you cook

for him I think he does this thing which is quite annoying which is like I'll have been making something for like five or six hours

and he'll roll in and he'll be like how long's dinner and I'll be like about half an hour and then he'll just like take a massive lump of cheese

out of the fridge and start chowing down on it I'm like oh my god, come on. That's just irritating. He will always eat the food that I make him. But he's just a big fella.

You know, he likes to eat. But he as much as he appreciates, you know, the effort and what I'm making, I don't think he really notices it. It's just all petrol for him. Yeah, it's fuel. Just shoves it in his face. Shoves it in the engine. Anyway, I digress. Oh, I said I digress. Yeah. Yeah, it's fuel. Just shoves it in his face. Shoves it in the engine. Anyway, I digress. Oh, I said I digress.

Yeah, oh, oh, there it is. And I think that means it's time for a break. Me and my co-host are craving a break. And so we are going to take a few minutes to recollect ourselves and think about what we're going to talk about in the second half of the show. Please join us in a few minutes when we will return with Miss Me. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night.

Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Welcome back to Missing. No, Lil. No, she can't come to second half. I don't like her that much.

OK, it's over. It's over. So you sent me an article about Gen Z's need for labels and I actually was reading something else, not what you sent me, but I was reading something else that was sort of alluding to that as well. I wanted to know what you were thinking about it. Well, I mean, I think that, like, at the root of it, Gen Z is the first sort of like completely internet social media generation. Right. And actually, we all know how we feel when we're on social media. It's like terrified and alone.

Yeah. So I think that, you know, it's probably a reaction to that feeling of like isolation and loneliness is that you need to label yourself as something that aligns you with others yeah it gives you some sort of identity yeah but they're so fucking fleeting now i identify as brat i'm very much having my brats i identify as brat i mean as someone who really likes i guess normal clothes uh one of the earlier cores that i heard was norm core and i was like oh shit that sounds a little bit like what i wear like i love a walking boot i love uh hiking trousers and windbreakers good jumpers i like to dress like sort of steven spielberg at the weekends i'm doing and that is quite norm core or god forbid dadcore so that's my first memory of all this core shit but tennis core poor old tennis core because i love tennis as you know and i also

love wearing a little lacoste tennis skirt i love a little polo dress tennis core i read lasted like a month and now it's like embarrassing to wear tennis clothes and it's like this is what happens when something is built or nothing when it's not based on anything it goes so quickly you know we're talking about punk being based in like actual pain and disparity and segregation yeah what so and we still talk about punk and see it's an important time i don't think we'll be talking about tennis core in half an hour no but, but I think the sort of like labelling of, I guess, you know, where you align yourself sort of stylistically is not really a new concept. I mean, like, there's always been like punk and mods and rockers

and rockabilly and, you know, whatever else. Goth. Goth, yeah. Grunge. Yeah, I did call myself a grunger, I have to say. That's so embarrassing but i did so i don't i don't see what the difference is actually actually no because i guess again because it felt like it was based in something real and not um something something not real i feel bad though because it's like i'm just old and i wasn't brought up on just the internet but it does make

me hark back to a time where if you were a grunger that meant that I actually lived it and I meant it and I felt it I didn't just put up a picture on Instagram and a checkered shirt once like I fucking believed what I was talking about but then things did become like naff like you're saying that tennis court is like naff now like I remember about you know sort of 10 or 15 years ago there'd be like guys in their mid to late 30s who were still like dressing and looking like paul weller and you'd be like can you stop that now please it's done oh my it's over the sideburns need to go remember when like men who like what i guess they were like music producers or like creatives in west london and everyone was in jeans dunks night dunks a blazer and like a trucker cap.

Oh, fuck a duck. That was a bad look. So grim. That was such a bad look. But I just see these as bad looks rather than a genre of a time. Anyway, it made me think about, do you remember in the early noughties where it was completely acceptable to relaunch your career by pretending to be a lesbian yeah yeah you never did it well well done you never did it you know i mean i was trying to remember the act the first thing that came to mind which not many people may remember or if you did shout

out to you rachel stevens when she like left s club her video obviously i was hosting pot one at the time so i interviewed all these people and had to watch their videos and really, you know, research. And it was all like her and like bondage strips with all these women sort of half snogging her neck. And then there was Holly Valance, Kiss Kiss. Do you remember? And it's like, I know her, she's like a star. Holly Valance, isn't she like a reform spokesperson now? Lol.

I actually think she is. I would put money on it because she married like Nick Candy, didn't she? Like the property developer. So if the lesbianism doesn't work, then you can always go into right wing politics. She knows how to wear a different hat, doesn't she? Look at her. She certainly does. Marga.

The chameleon Holly Valance then like britney spears madonna and christina aguilera like oh snogging on stage it was like the way to say i'm edgy but completely what sort of blatantly bastardizing queer culture or it's appropriating yeah i don't think you'd be able to just say i'm just doing it for the. I'm just trying to think whether I've done anything like that. Have I ever, like, snogged a girl in a music video? Shit, let's check. Shit, let's just double check. Let's just double check.

But do you understand what I'm saying? I do understand what you're saying. It's kind of like, I suppose, if that was a label of the time, it has to be treated differently now than then. I felt like you could just play around with whatever, even if you didn't really believe it. I suppose that sort of like homosexuality in the mainstream was more shocking in those days.

Now it's not so much because queer culture is so much a part of our culture as a generation. But I wonder what you could do now to sort of shock, I suppose, maybe, yeah, right-wing politics. Yeah, I suppose that's the new way so when I was in Boston me and the girls were a bit jet-lagged so we woke up at like five o'clock in the morning and David was asleep in the room next door and so we watched the Simone Biles documentary have you seen it yes no but it will go on my list right now it was super interesting I did not know about what had

happened to her in the Japan 2020 Olympics because obviously it was in COVID, right? So everyone was in isolation in the Olympic Village, they all had to travel over to Japan without their friends and their family. And Simone is very used to, you know, her mum being there, and her mum usually braids her hair for her and her friends there. And she in 2020 Olympics was, you know know feeling sort of like all out of kilter and also because there was no spectators at the Olympics they sort of lit the stadium in a way that she wasn't used to and none of the Olympians were used to so that when you're watching on the TV it doesn't look like they're in a big empty stadium and Simone went to do a couple of her vaults and lost herself like mid turn, right? And landed sort of funny. And she did it twice. And then she just said,

right, that's it. I'm out. I'm done. And people turned on her. She made the decision. She made the decision. People turned on her her because they thought how can you do that to your teammates like everyone's flown all this way and I had no idea that obviously gymnastics is effing dangerous but you know what makes an amazing gymnast is like their sense of control and their sense of self when they're sort of mid-air doing those tumbles they know exactly where they are and exactly what their body is doing and how to land. Anyway, so she got this thing that is called the twisties, right? Which is when you do the thing, you jump and then you completely lose yourself like in the middle of it and don't know where you are when you're landing.

And she was like, I could die if I keep doing this. Like I can land on my head rather than on my feet. Like her mind just like wasn't on her side at all. But she had the presence of mind. And what, you know, a lot of to have done two examples of, you know, what she had to do and to know my head's not in the right space. I can't do this. This is dangerous.

And to pull out is what makes her the fucking, you know, amazing athlete that she is. Yeah. I think she is the most successful athlete of all time. That's what they were saying in the documentary. Like she has won more gold medals than anybody else. She um you know they've like named moves after her she is like so decorated and what is she 26 i think maybe 27 now right okay i didn't really know much about her but i really warmed to her watching this documentary i thought she was absolutely

fucking amazing and she of course will be in paris at the olympics my mom loves her this week oh my god my mom's going no way i totally forgot yeah because the last series of great british menu the theme was the olympics and uh my mom charmed some person from the olympics and they invited her to the olympics and now she's like fucking going i know who does this woman think she is at the moment right it's pretty cool I'd like to go to the Olympics yeah I'd rather go

to the US Open I suddenly thought you were talking about golf then I was like really you want to go to the US Open okay um

no no no tennis I think we actually need to go back and talk about vaginas just to set some things straight. Well, it's probably a good thing because you and I both need to sit down and study the anatomy of the vagina instead. No, this is... Yes, we do, actually, because there was a lot of vitriol and hate and anger.

We were talking about waxing our vagina and there were many people that were letting us know that we don't know anything about our own anatomy and that what we're really talking about is the vulva and the inside. Can I just interject for a second? I do know the anatomy of the vulva i just don't really like the word vulva so i don't want to say it all the time and i don't i feel like it's just my vajayjay you know that's what i like to call it i think we got the short end of the straw with anatomical words for our parts. Because you've got like cock and dick and like, you know, penis.

These are all great names, great words. But I feel like ours are, I don't know, stranger. Should we go through it? Wait, have you got the diagram? I've got the diagram, yeah. Several different parts to the vagina. There is, of course, the most important part, as far as I'm concerned, the clitoris. Correct.

Which is right at the top on the outside. And then we have the outer lips, the labia majora. So that's labia. And inside those ones is the labia minora, which is the sort of, you know, the frillier bits. And then you have your bladder opening your urethra yeah and the um vaginal opening so is the vaginal opening the only part called vagina no there's the vagina is the inside is the like that you know where the magic happens sometimes if you're really magic come on let's not smut this out this is um academic what is not written on here is the um that bit that links the butthole and the vaginal opening

which are the peri perithium i don't know i've always called it the stink bridge really even when even when tending to it yeah it's the stink bridge or sometimes it's called the gooch um but yeah i think it's called the perineum or something the perineum oh yeah the perineum the area of skin between the vaginal opening and the anus look at you check me out as someone who's never had anal sex i definitely still remembered that i like the mons pubis that's the fatty rounded area overlying the pubic bone covered with pubic hair my mons pubis when i was a kid when i was dead i used to say in my body i wouldn't say vagina i don't think i was saying the vulva but i I did just call it my body. I quite like that. So should we do penis next week?

Yeah, let's do penis next week. We properly apologise to anyone that was offended by our lack of anatomy knowledge. And we were actually waxing our mons pubis. And we will get that right next time, because how sexy does that sound? What's a fupa? I don't know. It's an acronym for something. Fat upper pussy area. That's an acronym for something. Oh. Fat upper pussy area.

That's probably Mons pubis as well, isn't it? I think it might be the fatty upper pubic area. I don't think you know what you're talking about. It's the fat upper pussy area and that's just it, okay? That's what it is for you. Anyway. That was nice. I like going to Lily school. That was a wonderful episode of Miss Me.

Sorry. like going to lily school that was a wonderful episode of miss me sorry i'm a bit premenstrual which i imagine is to do with my period period which will be happening around the vagina you just talked about oh yeah that's the vagina okay okay i will see you on monday i'll see you on monday for listen, where we're going to talk about back friends. Maybe don't bring her. Okay. That'd be great. I'm saying goodbye. Okay, bye.

Goodbye. Bye. And then fade into nothing. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds. It just smashed right into the World Trade Centre.

It was a big, big explosion of flames. People Who Knew Me, a story about lies. You used a terrorist attack to run away from your mess and fake your own death. And love. Are you proposing to me? In the face of death. I'm Paul. I'm six weeks in a chemo. And I have no eyebrows. An original drama for BBC Sounds. Yeah, something's up. Starring Rosamund Pike and Hugh Laurie.

Happy death anniversary. People Who Knew Me. Listen on BBC Sounds. People who knew me. Listen on BBC Sounds.