Miss Me? - Pro-sea-dures

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss their new award, shadow-banning and Sabrina Carpenter.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language and our other very special host Mckeser Oliver. How are you doing? That's not how you, that's not how you introduce Miss Me anymore, babes. By the way, can we just call it the meaty drop again? We keep losing that in here.

Well, not now because right now we've got to be called the award-winning Miss Me! Yay! Award winners! That's right. Now listen, I know you've won awards in your past, I know that this is all old hat to you, but I think this is the first award I've ever won. Little bitch, I can't believe I had to do it with you. No, because you showed us your marathon medal the other day, that was an award. I suppose, I mean a recognition from my industry. Okay. And I'm pretty long in the tooth. So I can't believe I had to grab you

to get my fucking award finally. But I'm happy to share it with you. Where is it by the way? I don't know, all I got is this. Yes. That is a Miss Me pillow. So I'm imagining it's like sitting on a shelf in the purse of Vonnegut offices up in Sheffield.

No, no, we gave you your glory. You went to get the award, everyone, on the team. It was lovely for you to have that beautiful night and get that love shout upon you. But I think we get the award. Well, how are we going to cut it in half? Put half on my shelf back here and half on yours? I remember when Nana, Cherry, Auntie Nana Nana won best British female at the Brit Awards

Didn't she cut it in half and give half to soul to soul so we could do like that Yeah, let's do it. Okay, if you could give us a award and a Sword should we tell them what the award was for? We are the recipients of the gold award in the We are the recipients of the gold award in the entertainment category of the British podcast awards. Six months in, not bad. Not bad. Not too shady. Just saying. Not too shady. Just saying.

Oh yeah. Because I like that. I didn't realize it was going to be like bronze, silver, gold, which makes it feel even more like a win. That's even more winny win. Like Olympic win. Yes. But also, you know, we weren't there to accept our awards because obviously both of us were busy that night. But should we do our speeches? Should we do our speeches now? Okay. Okay. Okay. I'd like to just recognize everyone else that was in the category with us, who I don't know who they are.

These are the rules of accepting an award. You know better than me because you've accepted awards for it. Okay, first off, thank you everyone else that was in the category. Be gracious. It's an honor to be recognized in this industry in such great company. Obviously, I'd like to thank the team. Yeah. You know, I couldn't do this without you. Everyone at Persephoneca. Oh my God. So convincing. Shout out to the BBC, Heidi and Dylan, our commissioner. Nice move, Lil. And Lorraine.

Lorraine, yes. And then wait, and then finally, anyone you really wanna thank? I'd really, from the bottom of my heart, like to thank my co-host, Mckie Tsoilova. I really couldn't do this without you. I know you couldn't do it without me. Do you know what?

I still would have cried. Even that sentence, I would have cried, which is probably why it's okay. Now it's your turn to do your acceptance speech. Oh, no, because I mean it too much. It's too truthful. I'd literally be like, it means so much to me to be recognised by my industry that I've worked in for 25 years and is very galvanising to feel like, no, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I mean it too much, I'm afraid. But I would like to hear from Will about his night because Will, who is the person that, how

do we explain what Will does though first? How do we even describe what Will does? Well, I think he basically does everything. He's our tech guy. He gets the computers going. All I have to do is plug in my computer and press on and then I go, Will, are you there? Will? And he goes, yeah, I'm here. And then he sets it all up. Will had the gall to get in the, maybe it's the gall of the podcast awards to even have this, but they had like a kind of 360 glam cam, I kid you not. What like they have at the Emmys and the Oscars. And Will felt the need to grab the safari hat to hand and get in and you know do a twirl. At the time of being sent the video it made me laugh my ass off and also it was a joyful

moment. I'm happy he had a good time. You're just gonna stay silent Will. Can we cross over to our studio? Oh hello! Live to Will. Just for a sort of download of the evening, tell us how it was for you guys. Tell us how it was for you guys.

Yeah, it was wonderful. I didn't actually realize until the morning that I had stepped into the revolving camera, nor chose to select the safari hat. But yeah, that was a nice surprise to wake up and to see in my work email in the morning. Was everyone very nice to you there? Did everyone congratulate you? Yes, they did. I mean, I don't think many people knew who we were. Right. You're not wearing Miss Me jumpers, are you?

T-shirts. No, we weren't dripped out in the merch just yet. We was just on the table and then they announced Miss Me and then people saw us, me, Flossie, John and Dino get up. And then they were suddenly like, oh, congratulations. Oh, fuck, it's the Miss Me team, guys. I could be on another list. Love that.

Well, thank you so much. So nice to hear you not going, Keats, can you talk into your mic a bit louder? And I think it's really nice because I have to say out of all the team, I'm probably showered with the most glory because I do the most work. No, because I'm in London and you're in New York. You did say that someone on the subway said, while going love miss me the other day. I had a run in with somebody on the subway uptown,

who as, it's so funny because still, when people like make eye contact with me and come towards me, I think that like, there's gonna be like an aggressive interaction. Like I never think this person's gonna come up and say like, I love you, I love your music, I love your podcast or whatever. So I'm always like, oh. Anyway, this woman was like, I'm listening to Miss Me right now. I love your music, I love your podcast or whatever. So I'm always like, oh. Anyway, this woman was like,

I'm listening to Miss Me right now. I love your podcast. I was like, ah, that's my favorite. And then the next day I was walking through Soho and there were these, I was walking past a restaurant and there was this girl came out. She looked at me sort of like up and down and she went, girl, you're a queen.

And I was like, oh, I have my headphones in. And I was like, she was like, "'Queen shit.' That was it. She's a queen shit." That's right, queen shit. Oh, Americans know how to compliment. I know. She was like, we listened to the podcast

and the other girl came out and they were both like, "'We listen every week. We listen every week.' I was like, ah, ah, ah." The Miss Me effect. We have to be careful because with this kind of power and recognition, mo money, mo problems, et cetera, but more like that you can win an award like this

that says you're the shit and then no one ever hears from you again. And that pressure gets to people. You can get a bit complacent. You can get a little bit complacent, bit comfy in the success. Yeah, I totally understand that. But no, I was thinking about people that have won awards

and then we didn't really hear from them. I remember Mira Savino, who's this great actress who's Paul Savino's daughter, who was in Goodfellas, a huge American Italian actor. And she won best supporting actress for the Woody Allen film Mighty Aphrodite and she is brilliant in it and I remember thinking oh my god what a moment out of her father's shadow and then she never really worked again and I don't we just can't become Mira Savino okay we can't let

you know opportunities pass us by let the power get to our head. I will just interject quickly because I'm just looking it up I really I think that maybe it might have been Harvey Weinstein got in the way of Miroslavino's success. Okay. Yes. Right. External factor that I didn't think about. God, how many people did he do that to?

A fuck of a lot. Just block. Just block the trajectory. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, it feels good to be a lot. Just block. A fuck of a lot. Just block the trajectory. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, it feels good to be a winner. It really did. And I had quite a well done me week because I also, I'm starting to do writing.

I told you I'm starting to not do writing. Yes. Oh my God, I haven't read it. You sent it to me and I still haven't read it. Oh, did I send it to you? Oh God, I forgot I did. Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah haven't read it. Oh did I send it to you? Oh god I forgot I did. Yeah. Oh okay yeah please read it. For a column that I'm gonna start in a newspaper, in print,

I can't bloody believe it and I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. Don't worry it's gonna be where I put all my history shit now so I'll take that. There'll be less history chat in Miss Me. I'll mainly be talking about the origins of the lakes and rivers of our divine city in my new column. It was great. I had a really good time. Wow. Yeah, I really like writing. I'm so excited for you. Thank you. Very enriching experience though. I felt very like file copy.

Let's just send that to my editor. I was like, oh, I quite like this. Quite like this new vibe. Who knows what rewards it will bring. But please do read it because I really do trust your opinion. Obviously, I'm going to read it. I just have been very busy. And my brain is a bit all over the place. Yeah, what's been going on? What has been going on? Well, I'm like very active in my recovery at the moment. So I'm doing lots of meetings and lots of step work. my recovery at the moment, so I'm doing lots of meetings and lots of step work.

And I am, you know, working with this coach to prepare for a role that starts at the end of October. There's been a few like school events this week that I've had to go to, sort of like curriculum stuff for the kids. And last night I went to see Sabrina Carpenter at the Barclays Center. Of course you did. What a superstar she is these days, right? Well, well. Tell me. Yes. Tell me. Tell me what it's like to be a 25-year-old superstar. Well, that's the first sore point. I mean, I love her music. I think she's really great. I really like her and I like listening to the album. It was really hard to get tickets,

right? So last week, you know, I'm like 20 years into the music game. I know lots of people. I put the feelers out about a week and a half ago to get six tickets, which I know is a big ask, but you know, I'm never looking for free tickets. So I always, you know, want to pay. Yeah. And luckily on Saturday, the tickets came through. So I got the link and, you know, paid all of the extortionate fees and etc, etc. And I got my six tickets and then her managers contacted me yesterday and were like, we'd love to, you know, take care of you and come to the friends and family suite after the show,

which usually means like, you know, you'll get to meet her. And many of our listeners might remember, I took my kids to see Olivia Rodrigo a few months ago and she brought us backstage and the kids all got their pictures. Anyway, I also got a message from a record company person that was like, you know, can't guarantee that you'll meet her if she's tired

then she doesn't meet people or whatever. Anyway, so we went backstage, we're in the friends and family suite, there were like sort of 40 people and there were like groups of people that were being pulled out of the room, taken into her dressing room. And it just wasn't happening for us.

And I could see Marnie, my youngest daughter, like just going into like massive Stropsville. And she was like, just ask someone, talk to them. I was like, Marnie, like she's one of the biggest stars in the world. Like, well, I'm not gonna like march up to someone and be like, I demand to be given access to Sabrina Carpenter's dressing room now.

What's the energy? They're just picking certain groups of people to be taken to the king, basically. Yeah, I think so. I think that's what it was. I hate that energy, but I totally get why Marnie wanted to be picked. I know she did. And I was like, before we even went there, I was like,

I really don't want to go backstage. I really don't want to put myself in his environment. Had David been with us, I would have been okay, because he's very good at that energy. And I'm just very insecure and non-assertive. Probably a bit triggering as well for you, Lil. A little bit triggering, but yeah, you know, it just didn't happen. And Marnie was so angry with me and I was just like, I'm going to have to have a conversation with her tonight because she was still angry this morning when she got up for school.

And I'm just like, you're not entitled to like meet the most famous people in the world. Right. I tried. I took us backstage. We waited for like 45 minutes, maybe even an hour in a holding pen with a bunch of other people. And it didn't happen, you know, it was like 11.30 by the time that we left. So is it a conversation with Marnie about the realities of like not getting what you always want? Or is it a conversation about like, it's quite hard to balance it when her mom's been a pop star

and they do have all these incredible opportunities as kids. Yeah, and I guess, you know, it's difficult for her to understand because she's 11, right? And you know, she'll go to like a comic con with David and you know, there are just like millions of people around like doing anything that he wants them to and people sort of falling flat at his feet.

But then someone like Sabrina Carpenter, it's like, it's a different level and I don't think she quite understands that. God, interesting chat to have with a kid. Well, I don't even know how to explain it I don't even know what what it is. I'm saying it's a conversation about We tried and it didn't happen. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's a conversation about grace, but I wouldn't want to fucking have that comes Anyway now I'm dreading because I'm taking them to see Billy Eilish in a couple of weeks and I'm dreading the same thing happen

So I'm like, excuse me, I don't think so. After our wonderful Listen Bitch episode, a sort of congregation moment with Billy, I'd like to call her just Billy. Really, you think Billy wouldn't hook us up after that? I'd like to call Billy a friend after that. Well, listen, Billy, if you're listening, please, please, please let my daughters meet you after the show. Yeah. You'll do it. I love that you take your kids to all these gigs by the way. This is such cool mumming. My mum was the only mum that did that. I know. I hope they remember it. I hope they remember it. Yeah. I still remember that my mum was the one to take us all to smashing pumpkins

And they were like your mom is so cool. I was like no she actually is yeah, like this is cool. Momming and listen Let's just remember all the people that you have worked with across the years. I was in a cab the other day Standard cab radio so hot FM was on I feel like I cast heart FM out last week. This isn't a cuss. This is a big up because they played a you song with pink. And I was like, when the fuck did she work with pink? I don't remember this at all. And then I remembered that there was this period of time where you work with so

many big people that you just stop mentioning it and then it stopped being a big deal. The common moment, and you talked about it before when you were saying it was a really big moment, especially for you in America when things were about to go a bit stratospheric before you got in your own way. But there's kind of, there's groups of it. Yes, I did a little bit of research just to remind you of your glory and how brilliant you are.

So, no, but come on, right? Jamie T, Dizzy, Common, Pink, Giggs, Robbie Williams, but I don't know, that was probably just a little glitchy moment. Actually, I did do something on an album with him. Yeah. I did. And then it's the moment of like Stormzy, Burner Boy, Shy Effects and probably Giggs in that moment as well.

Before a lot of people, before anyone had even heard of Burner Boy or was working with him or collaborating with him, and it's a tune, should be proud of yourself and tell your kids that story tonight. Burner Boy thing was really interesting. We just connected on Twitter. That's when you could get in touch with Burner Boy on Twitter. He was like, I'm in London these weeks, let's get in the studio,

and he just came to my studio at Tile Yard. Guess who produced that song? Fred again. Oh no, look, see what I'm saying? At the cutting edge, shit! Absolutely. That's right, Zeddy. Freddy.

Oh, love that song. Heaven's Gate. I love Heaven's Gate. Oh, it's so nice. I also really like Shy Vex. Rude Boy looked like a smoker. I'm a very big Lily Allen fan, I realised. Shy just came over here to New York a couple of weeks ago, and we did a week in the studio to do a new project for him,

like a little mixtape. I remember you said that was going to go down. How did that go? It went well. I kind of just did, you know, the vocals and wrote some bits and he'll go away and like do his magic and it will happen when it happens. But, you know, he's got the goods. Did you see that thing that Jonathan, I think from the team put up? Because I was going to talk to you about Limebikes and he was like, what about Lily Limebike 2026 campaign for the 20th year anniversary of Albright Still? JG Oh, what, because I did it on the chopper bike in the back in the day. CK We recreate that for the big 20th anniversary. I mean, the fact that it's the 20th anniversary,

I actually had to have a little moment. Please don't, please don't. Just a tiny little moment. Well, when I went to Keen the other night, that was the Hopes and Fears 20th anniversary of that album tour. So I do think maybe there is a conversation to be had about doing a 20 year anniversary tour. All right, so, but I just can't,

I can't even imagine though, like I just, that person singing those songs it's like a relative child and I just can't imagine being a 40 year old woman and Standing up on the stage like singing those songs with any conviction like Chating about what would you say to the stones? No, I know but like I just like my voice is different I was Damon's! Riding through the city on my bike all day,

because the Phil took away my license, like, I just... I just can't even imagine it. Okay, I get your point, but I think you have to come at it from a different place, because when Blur did Wembley, I was like, yeah, like, fucking boys and girls, and he sings it like he fucking means it still, Damon does. Yeah, but I don't know if I mean it anymore, that's the thing. Yeah, exactly, so that's what I'm saying.

You let me know when you're ready to mean it, because I agree, no point doing it if you're like, what am I chatting about? If you're like, I mean, I love LDN. Did this. He did that. I think I could possibly connect with it's not me It's you which was my second album a bit more than I can with my first

Yeah, and that gives you a few more years doesn't it? Yeah Actually, no, I think it came out in 2009 so five years. Yeah, but I'll be 45 45 is an absolutely realistic age to come back and be like, let me just remind you of all the shit that I did. I'll have had the facelift by then. I'll have the facelift, the boob job, the bum lift. Yeah, the complete facial reconstruction.

You monster before you can come out on stage. I mean, I think you could do it tomorrow if you fancy. Everything will have settled down. Second. The hiding period have settled down. Second. The hiding period will be over. Yeah. The time spent in Peru. I was actually thinking, you know what?

I think it would be a really good business model. I was watching a new Ryan Murphy program the other day called Dr. Odyssey, which is like about these doctors on a cruise ship. And I was thinking like a plastic surgery cruise ship would be good, wouldn't it? Like if you've got like 10 like tie-in surgeons like on a ship and then like, you know, like 30 suites and then people just getting their surgery

and recovering at sea. Procedure side of the boat, recovery side, I love this. Recreational areas and everyone, you know, doesn't have to worry about their bandages. No one has to like judge each other. Yeah, no one can see. You just, everyone's like in this on literally in this on the same boat. I don't agree with plastic surgery, but I still think this is one hell of an idea. I'd love to try and get the funding for that one. It's going to cost us a billion pounds. Plastic surgery cruise ship? I need 10 of the world's best surgeons that have to be willing to go to sea for six months at a time. Go to sea? Actually I don't think you would have to go six months.

I think like possibly like a month is like the longest recovery time for like a big surgery. So let's say that- I'm not letting you do all this surgery to your beautiful face, by the way. And we'll see. I just, you know what? I love surgery because it means

I can have general anesthetic. Smoking like a true sober person. Oh, I'm a general. Love me a general. But wait. Oh, lover general, lover me a general. But wait a minute back to, because I'm quite excited about this, like the 2026 Line Byte campaign stroke anniversary of Albright still. How would you market this moment of your life as a pop star artist musician? Because I read that James Blake thing and I don't really

understand what's going on with this shadow banning and this basically he has a tour coming up he's obviously a massive artist with a huge following and he stated that when he is promoting a tour or anything of that kind he his algorithm is all shot to shit and there's no engagement and it's not reaching the places that it should if it's mirroring his following. Something like that? I don't really understand. I thought you might understand it more. I mean, I have like my suspicions that there's like, you know, sort of dark forces that lift some people to, you know, astronomically successful places and stop other people from, you know, being able to

succeed in the same way. But, you know, it's all very speculative, you know, there's no way of proving it. But why would this not be something that they wanted to support? Because surely it drives numbers, it drives engagement, it drives data. Yeah, I mean, I think that maybe it's because, you know, it's like real estate, right? So I don't know if they're necessarily holding him back. But if you want something to really go, you have to spend in order to let it go. And if he's doing things independently, he's probably not got the money to do the spend that other people in a more competitive market can. So I think major labels.

As opposed to like a Sabrina Carpenter, for instance. Yeah, her label will be pushing a whole load of money towards Metta, Spotify, whoever else it is. I think that that's how it works. They don't make it easy, do they? Absolutely not, absolutely not. It's like they're getting in the way. Yes, and it tends to be the artists

that have more integrity that will suffer because they don't wanna get involved with these big conglomerates whose main interest is taking money away from the consumer with hidden costs everywhere. So it's, um, yeah, the whole thing is a fucking shit show. But like, it always has been to a certain extent, but it's just worse than ever now.

Wonder what's James Blake gonna do? What is the answer for an artist? Because he's not a bloody independent art. I mean, maybe he's with an independent label, but he's very successful. I mean, I've been listening to James Lake for like, what, 12 years? He's been around forever, he's got a huge following, he's a massive artist. Does he need Instagram? I don't know how else you approach it. Yeah, I mean, but that's the thing,

they've made this one funnel the only place to do so many things, but I just get a street team, James, and some old flyers. Get some posters up. What are they used to call them? Someone flyering outside the tube station. Everything that my stepdad Garfield used to do when we were young was always like, we're

just getting a street team together. I was like, of course you are. That's how you promoted shit in the early noughties. Street teams and flyering. So that's my advice to you, James Wake. Forget about social media James, just hire a street team. Get a street team. Right, well should we have a little break? Yeah, let's do it. I like that you're in blue and I'm in green. Blue and green should never be seen.

Yeah, who says that? Ah, I believe it was William Shakespeare. I don't fucking know, like what? I think it's more like you know I'm gonna find out and after the break the answer we have an answer for everyone that's on the edge of their fucking seat we have an answer about blue should never be seen with green the The same derives from a seafarer's tradition that the hulls of boats should not be painted green lest they become invisible when capsized.

See everything is something. There's always a reason for everything. Maybe that's what my new column's about. Who knows? Not Google. Google with Keats. Excuse me. More like, you know, history.com. Come Google with Keats. Excuse me. More like, you know, history.com.

Come Google with me. Welcome back to the award winning Miss Me. Fuck it, why not? Just on this episode we'll say stupid shit like that. You manifested it actually, babe. You manifested that British broadcast award. Well done. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. That's what I would have said in my speech. I would have said thank you to Mckie Dolliver for manifesting and the moon. And the moon. Thank you Mckie Dolliver and her moon. And for the moon seed.

So this stuff is going in. I actually had a really kind of visceral day of remembering what it was like to be like a young kid to dream because I was at Renwick, this beautiful vintage shop in West London, right in like the core middle of our area where we grew up in Westland Park. And then me and Iona had a meeting at the park, that lovely restaurant you told me about in Queensway. And I was like, Oh God, Uber walk. And she's like, no, let's line bike it. I was like, no, I have a mountain bike. It's at my house.

I'm not that person. She's like, get over yourself. And we had the greatest 20 minute bike ride all through. We actually went down all Portobello. I was like, let's do Portobello like Goldbourne Road all the way up to Earl of Lonsdale, do a left down Westman Grove and then go through the back streets here.

Lily, it was so emotional and lovely. It was such a lovely way to go around an area that we know so well that means so much to us. And I was like, oh God, I think I'm in line by Castle. I think I am. They are more fun. You don't have to worry about hills. It really does make a difference.

I'm just thinking about my seminal hit, LDN, which opens with riding through the city on my bike all day. And I actually can't remember doing that. Like- You didn't have a bike, did you, you lying shit? Yeah, what the fuck? I mean, it must have come from somewhere.

Like, maybe I did have a bike for like 20 minutes. It's a pack of lies. You didn't have a bike. Exactly. Even more reason for the lying bike, like 20 minutes. It's a pack of lies. You didn't have a bike. Even more reason for the line bike Lily had. Well, the Phil did take away my license. That's true because you had a car. I must have got around somehow. I think I did have a bike for a bit, you know. But then I don't think it lasted very long and then you just didn't move. No, I don't think so. We just got the tube. Well, then I was just an international touring artist.

I was driven everywhere. Yes, quite. But I was wondering if you have had the same reign on New York of government-funded. Well, I thought Lime Bikes were government-funded, but they're actually, it's a company from San Francisco. Was it San Francisco? They're like, you know, just a nice, like.

It's a tech startup. It's a tech startup. Yeah, like... It's a tech startup. It's a tech startup. Yeah, it's exactly. It's a tech startup. And they completely, you know, pushed poor old Boris bikes out the out the gate, which is fine by me, because those bikes which is very heavy and not electric. So actually very much a secondary shitter option than anyone's normal bike. And e-bikes are just nifty. It's that engine. You love having a machine between your legs, don't you? I do.

You were talking about it last week on ListenBit. I absolutely do. But there's now, there's now like kind of tropes of line bike people. There are the line bike assholes who are the ones that think they're better than the people with real bikes. They're very like, beep, beep, beep, get out of the way, I've got a line bike.

Then there's begs, which are usually like groups of girls that are talking really loudly like they're at their brunch, but they're on their bikes. They're very like beep, beep, beep, get out of the way. I've got a line bike. Then there's begs, which are usually like groups of girls that are talking really loudly. Like they're at their brunch, but they're on their bikes. They want people to see them as a crowd. And then you have the competitive line bikers, which is Natty and Ellie that I worked with the other day competing about their mileage. Like that was like, just like my miles. It's like nuts. It's nuts. And then Ellie was like, really, what are you? And then, you know, Ellie was like 40,000 more miles than that, and now that's like, got to get higher. I was like, who gives a shit? But now I've been on a line bike, I'm like,

hmm, what mileage I could clock up. Makeda, I just, other e-bikes are available. Let's just- Thank you, mom. Be real, okay? This is a community I have absolutely no interest in being part of, I have to say. Wait, what do you have in New York?

Because you love your subway. I know you love your subway. I don't know what it is here. I don't even, I think it's probably Limes. No, and even though they're American, interestingly, even though they're American, you have city bikes. Oh yeah, city bikes.

Go on, get yourself on a city bike, have a little swirl around your ends and let me know if you have a good time. Could never be me. Could never be me. I thought I was too good for this as well, but I'm not, and neither are you. No, it's not about being too good for it it it's just I've got absolutely no interest. I've

also you know I am very anxious about my thighs and I don't like cycling. Excuse me? What do you mean? Yeah it's gonna it's gonna make my thigh muscles bigger. Oh I thought you meant that your thighs being seen in general on a bike, I was like, we might need to get some serious therapy. No, I don't care about that. No, no, no, it will make your muscles beautiful

in your legs. It gives you that really nice line up the side, which I love, up the side of the thigh. Interesting. No one has ever said, I'm not gonna spin because then my legs will get chunky. Okay, I'll try it once and I'll get back to you. But you know, I am a big fan of a zip car.

So that's the car equivalent of a, you know, that's car sharing. I feel like you should get a ride by now. I've got a car. Oh. I don't drive that often because it's a nightmare to drive here, but I do drive sometimes.

I drove on the weekend to the New York Jets game at the MetLife Stadium, me and David and the kids and my cousins, Gracie and Iris. We all went to go and watch the Jets play. I had no idea what was happening. So much fun. Wait, are Jets basketball? No, American football.

Oh, layers, don't care. Shout out John and Doris, who hosted us in their box. Thank you very much. So what does a day like that look like? You get taken to the game and then kind of give burgers and fries, drink of choice. Yeah, it was very, very laid on. There was a whole buffet. In fact, Iris, my Welsh cousin, my Welsh cousins, they just love free shit. I remember when I played in Cardiff, I played at like an arena in Cardiff and my granddad bought like two coach loads of my family from Shinetti and there was like a free bar and I came down from the dressing

room afterwards, it was a bit like the Sabrina Carpenter thing but with my actual family and they were just like shoving like bottles of wine like into their like wheelchairs and stuff and I was like, I was I was just like it's free you don't have to steal it you can have it it's fine but anyway Iris was much like that she ate eight lobster rolls she's like how many times will I be invited to this she got really sick she was peaking when she got gone Iris lick up that freebie shit. We will see you next week on Monday for Listen Bitch where our subject matter is jealousy, jelly belly.

We are jelly in my belly. I am jealous of you, you are jealous of me. We're gonna talk about it on Listen Bitch. Yes we are. I'm really excited to talk about jealousy in this space where no one can hurt me. You know what I mean? This is the place for it. I can't wait.

I'll see you next week. I love you. I'm no longer jealous of you, but there were times I was and we'll hear all about it on Monday's episode. On Monday. Okay, see you, bye. Love you. Bye bye bye bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me

with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. How much do you really know about the person you love? I love you, sweet. About who they really are? How could you be so sick? This is the story of a 10-year catfishing scam that almost destroyed a woman's life. Until she uncovered the truth.

Hey sweetheart, talk to me, daddy. This is killing me. From Tortures Investigates, this is Sweet Bobby. Listen now on BBC Sounds.