Miss Me? - Ticket-Selling Enthusiasts

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss family holiday drama, Oasis tickets and polyamory. This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. Welcome to Origins with me, Kush Jumbo, the show with the biggest names in entertainment tell me the stories that made them who they are today. Origins is a conversation about my guests' early inspirations and growing up. Guests this season include Dame Anna Wintour, Poppy Delevingne, Pete Capaldi, and Golda Ra'Shaval, aka Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton. I only kind of discovered my sexuality

when I went to drama school. Join me every week to hear where it all began. From Sony Music Entertainment, this is Origins with Kus Jumbo. language. So watch out from early. Baby cakes. What's up? Baby cakes. You just don't know how I want I wanna take it down low, low. Don't get me started, because I'm feeling deeply,

brutally nostalgic at the moment. So don't let me go straight there, because I know that you're not like a nostalgic person like I am. But I guess I also, do you know what it was? It was you having Steve or miss me. I like that was really, I didn't think I would feel so transported back

to such a long time ago. Cause I see him and I talked to him, but I think it was you two talking. I was like, we were all such kids. Steve was only like 25 in those days. So it was really like very well done by the way. Excellent work. Oh, thank you so much.

Excellent. Did you enjoy it? I did, I did enjoy it. I did enjoy talking to Steve. I did not enjoy the fallout from that particular episode. But you know, the less said about that, the better, I think. I think so. It's been a bit of a rough up few weeks.

A lot of everything, lots of great things and lots of ridiculous bullshit. So fresh start, clean slate, back to school, new month, new energy, we're letting some old shit go. Yeah. So how are you feeling anyway? I don't really know how I'm feeling. I feel a bit weird.

I mean, it's nice to be back in New York. It's back to school tomorrow. So I'm doing, you know, pencil cases and calculators and labeling things. And the whole kit. Very proud because when we got to Italy a couple of weeks ago, I got an email from one of my kids' teachers saying, this child was set the task of doing an hour of maths a week

on this particular program called IXL. And as you can see from the screenshot that I've posted at the bottom of this email, she has completed 42 minutes so far out of the 12 weeks of holiday time that she had been given. Oh, because they can tell when she's logged in to do the work. Yeah.

And so I wrote an email back going, I'm so sorry, it's all her dad's fault. She is with her dad for the first half of the summer. And then she and then, and then, and then, and then she went to summer camp so she couldn't do it there.

But of course, now that she's back in my care, I will endeavor to get as much of it done as we possibly can. And then this morning, I got an email from her saying I want, with the child copied in onto the email saying, I just wanted to congratulate you on catching up and having done all of the math that was required.

So said child had done an hour a day, basically, for the last two weeks of her maths. So congratulations on cramming like a warrior. Oh God. Cramming, do you remember though that? I went to a crammer college. No, but the end of summer holidays specifically, you'd get to whenever it was that you broke up and they'd be like, you have to read five books and you've got to complete these math

assignments and these history bits and you'd be like, yeah, yeah, whatever, figure it out when I get there. And then a week before you're meant to go back, you're like, ah, shit. Start thinking of excuses. No, I'd be like, I remember getting the assignment and I'm quite like this now, I love an assignment, I love a brief, but in those days I'd be like,

well, this is like 12. I'd be like, oh my God, I'm gonna like time management, I'm gonna really like think about this topic. I think I'll do this and then just completely forget about it. And then it's like school starts tomorrow. Yeah, I don't even know what I did. I don't think I handed in things a lot. It was like that. The other child of mine enlightened me yesterday that she just has one book to read before school starts tomorrow. And don't worry, it's only like 500 pages. I was like, cool. Why were you? No.

But she does read very quickly. She's got a hair appointment this afternoon. She's like, I'll just read it then. And I actually believe her. Like, she's a really fast reader. They're doing it the old school way. Well done, girls. A successful summer.

Can I say a successful summer all round? Well, yeah. Okay. You can try, but I don't know if it's necessarily true. I'll just say it. Because I had a bit of a shit show in my holiday part of the summer, the week off that I had when Steve stepped in. As I told you, had a bit of a barney with my cousin, which is actually really unexpected. We were in France at our friend Jesse's parents house and they weren't there and we were the grownups. I was very like, oh, when are the grownups coming in? Jesse was like, Makita, Makita, we are the grownups. So they were there with all their kids. So there's three kids and then Jesse and his ex-wife

and they co-parent and actually very interesting to see co-parenting up close and personal, especially on a holiday. I don't know how you lot do it. I mean, everyone's doing a splendid job, but it is a real navigation. And what I realized it's a real navigation of your relationship constantly.

It's actually rarely about the kids. You just gotta keep figuring out how you two work with each other. And that can be exhausting, but they were doing a beautiful job of that. Me and Phoebe on the other hand, not navigating each other well. We were fine and then we did a bit of magic and that moon was quite powerful up on the mountain and then we had a Barney and um and I left the next day oh shit and I didn't even really want to tell I didn't want to tell you because I was like oh god it was all meant to be so lovely and then we did speak and you're like don't worry we've also had a family Barney and I was like oh maybe something's in the

air because then subsequently a friend of ours a mutual friend I'll tell you later said that um on her holiday in Italy, all her family, huge Barney, not speaking to any of them. So there might have been something in the air. What, do you mean like cosmically? Yes, Lil. Like the moon or some star alignment or something. I blame the moon, I blame the moon.

But I just feel like maybe there was something going on where things needed to erupt, and then guess what happened yesterday? What? Phoebe called me. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we're good. She's helped me a lot today

with my wanking research for this and bitch. Oh, that's good. I'm pleased to hear that you guys worked it out or are working it out. It's never an overnight thing. Yeah, and it's nice to know we're at a different stage of life now where things can erupt and

You heal them quicker and you process things quicker as a family Yeah, I don't know. I think I might still be in my family rift. The thing is it wasn't really a rift We did the fatal mistake of playing a game On our family holiday there were 12 of us so those me my mom her our family holiday. There were 12 of us, so there was me, my mom, her boyfriend, partner, who she's been with for 30 years, whose mom had just died. Oh, I'm sorry. And I'm very close with Aaron and his daughter was there. And my cousins, which oddly, are the nieces and nephews of my dad, not my mom. So it's quite weird meshing of the family because my dad, obviously, my mom and not together

haven't been since I was four years old. But we're very close with my cousins on my dad's side. So they always come on holiday with us every year. I thought that yesterday. I thought it's great that Alison's so close to that lot, that you do this holiday every year. And I'm very close with all my cousins. In fact, one of my cousins was your assistant last year,

Gracie. Yeah, Gracie. And my brother was there with his daughter and her grandmother. And it was nice until we played this fucking game, which is called Bad People. And literally it says on the thing, the game you should probably never play.

So the premise of the game is like, you'll pull out a thing on a card that says like, out of the group of all of you that are playing this game together, like which one of you is like the least likely to like, I don't know, donate to your children with cancer charity or something. And then everyone will write down who they think it is.

And then if I've got the card and I've read it out, I have to put who I think. And if everyone guesses the same as who I think, then you will get a point. And if no one guesses, no one gets a point. Anyway, so it was my round. I was calling it out. And the question was, out of everybody here,

who would be the person to save themselves first from a burning building? And to my fucking shock and surprise, everybody, literally bar one person, which might even have been my mom, said me. I fucking hope so. And I was like, there are some pretty selfish people in my family that were sitting around that table.

In this room, right now. And I'm quite like maybe shut down. My demeanor can be come across as being a little bit cold sometimes. But I think because of what's happened to me in my life and who I am, sometimes I don't wanna give all of myself because I'm scared of what I'm gonna get in return. And that is especially true within my family makeup. But then also I have relationships with everyone in my family that are different.

And I think of myself as being a pretty kind and generous person on the whole. Absolutely, I think also we're just not in that place as a family at all. And it probably just shocked you a bit. It's like, wait, that's not me now at all. Yeah, I was like, are you lot fucking mad? Yeah, like come now.

Also I know who was in the room. So come now. Also, like, no offense, but like, I've been on some really fucking nice holidays this summer. This little like gathering that we're doing is more like work. Yes, I could be anywhere other than here. I'm here for you guys not for myself. I'm here for you guys Okay, just even the fact that I'm here is an act of I'm also not but anyway, I was like, okay fine So whatever so I just sat there for a couple of minutes and sat with it and everyone else like moved on. Ha ha, like let's all laugh at Lily's expense. This was also like in the midst of the whole like,

you know, dog debacle that we're not gonna talk about. Yeah, it wasn't the greatest week. So I was just like, okay, not only does the entire world think I'm like an awful human being that has no care for anything in the world, but so does my family. And so I went, I was like, I'm actually just gonna take myself away

from this situation. And I didn't say anything, I didn't get upset with anyone. I just went to my room and one by one, people came upstairs and they were like, are you okay? And I was like, no, actually I'm not. I'm really upset. I don't really understand why. And people were like, well, we would have all said

this other person at the table, but we knew that they couldn't handle it and that you know that you can and I was like why do you think I can handle it and they're like well you know you wear the mask so well I'm like I'm telling you I can't handle this shit No but this is actually this is interesting because now we've got to quite an interesting place which is for if you take things or accept things for a very long time, and not because you were being an adult and being mature enough to do that,

because things were just put upon you in the past, then after a while, people just think that that's where things go. And it's like, why do you think Lily can take this shit? Why would you be able to take that stuff? Character assassination makes everyone feel like shit about themselves. It's also not true, Lil.

Lily can handle it. She's assassinated all day every day. Yeah, exactly. She's in the middle of a media shit storm. She'll be fine. Let's throw this on her plate. She seems to have a lot going on over there. She's like, yeah, don't worry about me.

I'll just... I would have stood up for you. What am I doing here? I wouldn't, I would have written another name. Yes. Okay? Anyway, I've written a letter of formal complaint to my family and I was like, anyway, don't worry.

You lot, this will all be reflected in your Christmas presents this year. Thank you very much and goodbye. Do you want to see me actually not being generous? Because that, it looks a lot different. We can do that. We can definitely do that. Do that.

Do that. Less Perkins for you lot. No, well done you for taking yourself out of the space. That's what I did. And I just feel like no matter what shit storm comes your way in life, all you can do is like be in control of how you react.

And I think we've acted like grownups in both of these family shit shows. Yeah, five years ago, if I'd had a couple of glasses of wine or whatever, I would have been like, I would have really let people have it, but I was like, no, I'm just gonna take myself off to my room, read a book, scroll on Instagram. Yeah, absolutely.

Go find some love somewhere, absolutely. I'll just go and read Northanger Abbey. I mean, scroll on Instagram for three hours in a pool of self hatred. I can't with Instagram right now because I wanted to like really break down this new 20 picture thing and be like, this is just exacerbation of the narcissism that Instagram has already created in all our souls and then Yesterday I had to post something for work I was like ooo it just feels like 15 is needed I'm an asshole. I'm an asshole too

And this is but the thing is I guess the reason I want to talk about is because I'm Not saying God every what every idiot that puts 20 bits. I'm what a fool. It's like Instagram How could you do this to us? How could you do this toss? How could you give us more space for narcissism because we will fill it we will take it While I was away, I got so fucking nostalgic. And I was like, I mean, maybe it's because I'm learning about my roots and stuff, but could not stop listening to grunge music. Like, couldn't stop listening to Silverchair. Now Silverchair is obviously a band I share more with our friend Tan. You never really came down Silverchair Alley with me.

You didn't even really walk down Grunge Street with me. I was not really that into Grunge. You bypassed Grunge? Where the fuck were you? Into Boyzone. Oh my God, Lil. Is that where you were when I was into like Nirvana and Silverchair?

Boyzone. No, you know what I did? I was into like Alanis Morissette, which was around the same time, I think. Yeah. Yeah, you came to New York and you were like, there were these two kids that you were like, oh my God, they're the best people in the world.

And they were into grunge. So that was your thing. And I've never really- So I followed suit. I've never really- So I followed suit. I've never really been that person. I've always just found my own shit. And it was Boyzone and Alanis Morissette. Mm-hmm.

So do those songs, and this is honestly, do those songs still make you feel something? No, I'm dead inside. I don't feel things anymore. No, but what music from then still makes you like fuzzy because I listened to Silver Chair, Frog Stomp particularly, and I was just like, Jesus, I am 13 again and I feel it and I remember how much I cared and how obsessed I was.

Oh, you know what? I did like Bush. Oh my God, no! No, I liked that smaller song. You know how I felt about Bush. But I thought he was hot. I thought Gavin Rostel was hot. Okay, know how I felt about Bush. I thought he was hot. I thought Gavin Rossdale was hot. OK, let me tell you about Bush.

So Doralee, remember Doralee, like mum's mate? She took me to see Bush at what is that place in town that's not there anymore? Like Astoria? Astoria, the Astoria. And I was like 13 and didn't really, I hadn't really been to many gigs. And she took me to Bush bush. He was so fit course I now think of him as Daisy's dad Daisy Lowe's dad But at the time he was just like Gavin Rossdale and then mom was like we know Gavin and I was Freaking out for about a year. Just like mom

How can I see him at like something like around West London And then one time we went to like a posh lunch at someone's house and he was fucking there. That for me was like Kurt Cobain being at lunch. And it was like, it was very intense, but God Bush was so shit little. No, no, no, terrible. No, who else I quite liked? Oh my God, I did have a phase, but it was a secret phase.

I didn't share with anyone. I liked placebo. That is embarrassing. I had their record on MiniDisc and I would listen to it. I never went there. Yeah, I know you didn't. No. That's why I didn't tell you

because I knew that you'd judge me for it even though you're doing exactly that. Twenty-five minutes later. I mean, I know. We only listen to Zulfja. I also love Muse. Oh my God. This is the side I hate hate the kind of Muse key

see you play Perceiver shit So anyway, I realized I'd never seen silver chair play and I never will really because Daniel Jones has now gone a little bit Weird so that actually broke my heart thinking I will never see silver chair play and then I thought fuck I'll never see Prince play no, you won't I will never see Prince play. No you won't. I've never seen Stevie Wonder play. I saw Prince play the New Year's just before he died.

Oh my God, I think Garfield went to that. No, he didn't, I would have seen him. It was in a very small bar in St. Bart's. But Hayley Bieber and Justin were there. And Wendy Deng was there. And Shane from that guy that ownedeng was there, and Shane from that guy that owned Vice was there. This sounds like quite a weird party.

It was quite a weird party. But yeah, Prince was there, and me and my ex-boyfriend Dan were there. Was he good? Well, me and Dan were on holiday in St. Kitts, and a friend of mine was in St. Barts and I didn't really understand how far away it actually was. You know when you're in the Caribbean,

it's like you look at the map and you're like, how far away is that? Anyway, and so my friend Derek was like, hey, come and see Prince play tonight. And I was like, okay. So we flew to St. Martin from St. Kitts, which was like 20 minute flight. And then we got like a motorboat, like a speedboat

at night, which actually took like two hours and the waves were massive. And it was like, obviously a mistake. Anyway, we got there and then went to see Prince and that was great. And then I'd booked a hotel on booking.com or something, one of those websites. And Prince finished and we were walking away from the gig and I was like, you're trying to find a hotel reservation. And who's that like Russian oligarch guy that owned Chelsea? Oh yes, Roman Abramovich. Yeah, so it was his party.

Oh my God. And I was walking along and one of his security guards was next to me and I was like, I was trying to find my hotel reservation. I was like, do you know where this hotel is? And he was like, yeah, it's not on this island. It's somewhere else. And I was like, what?

And as we were like walking with this like group of like 300 people that had all been to this party, I was like, oh my God, we don't have anywhere to sleep. We're literally gonna have to go and sleep on the beach. On an island. And then I was just like, I don't know what it, I don't know Roman Abramovich, but I was just like, I'm just gonna go and ask him.

I'm just gonna go and ask him if we can stay. And so I just walked up to him and I was like, look, hi, you don't really know me, but. Or at all in fact. I booked a hotel room on booking.com and it turns out that this hotel is not even on this island. So a bit of a mishap on my part, but do you have somewhere

for me to sleep? The idea of even saying booking.com to ruin the profit. Wrong crowd. And he was like, yeah, sure. Of course. Don't worry about it. I got you. And his security guard just bundled me and Dan into like one of their little cars and drove us up to this House in the hills in the middle of nowhere and was like, you know, what do you want? What would you like for breakfast? Let us know we'll bring it to your room and I woke up the next morning because we've got there so late in the middle of the night it was obviously all dark and no idea where I was and I woke up in this strange room and middle of the night and it was obviously all dark. I had no idea where it was and I woke up in this strange room and it was obviously you know Roman Abramovich's

private St. Bart's residence and it was absolutely stunning. You were like on a mountain in the middle of the Caribbean. Wow. Couldn't see any there was no other home or anything to be seen and it was just like views for days and um. That's great did you did you keep up the relationship with Roman? No, never spoke to him again. I think I might have sent a thank you note, but um, no, I have not. He'd be quite a good person to have in the family armor. You know what I mean? Yeah.

When traveling. No. I mean, he did a very nice thing for me and I'm very grateful for his kindness and generosity in that moment. But yeah, I don't know if I want an ongoing relationship with. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. She's still got it. She's still got them.

Thank God, because we've nearly done a year of this and you just keep pulling them out. Thanks for that. Yeah, you would have thought that Prince playing would have been the most memorable thing about that evening, but no. No. Was he good though?

Was Prince live everything I want it to be? He was, but I think he was slightly fucking with them because he, obviously everyone wants to just hear the hits and he was playing some deep cuts because obviously someone had paid him like five million pounds to be there. And his little way of going like, fuck you was to be like, here's the song none of you know.

Yeah, I'm gonna play some really weird offbeat album tracks. Fuck you, you corporate bastards. I love that, get weird with it. Prince is such a weird little dude, I loved him so much. I think some of the band didn't even know the song was there. Was you privy to Prince Jam? A jamming session? No, it was epic, it was epic. It was really good. I wonder if the seven million people that tried to get tickets for the Oasis gig

will be just as enthralled by what they see. That's if they can fucking get in. It's all become a sort of interrogation into the setup of Ticketmaster, which I'm quite interested in, because I've never ever, not even not understood, looked into it. And over to you. Yeah, I mean, the thing is, is that whenever it gets into like the business of music, I just like go, okay, computer says no,

I'm switched off now, I'm bored. Is that because you don't trust any corner of that industry in any way? Yeah, I think so. There's so many middlemen, there's so many brown envelopes being passed between person to person. You know, you're, you've got like lawyers that are only entertainment lawyers and business lawyers, but you know, they're meant to be working for you as an artist, but in a, you know, really and truly,

like an artist has a shelf life, whereas all the other people that work in the music industry are gonna be working in the music industry forever. So where do those people's loyalties actually lie? Are they looking to have a long-term relationship with an artist, or are they looking to have a long-term relationship with a major record label or tour promoter or whoever else?

So I don't know, I just feel like I've been fucked over so much by that side of the world. Like I'm not really and have never really been interested in the business side of those things. I'm just not that way inclined and it just freaks me out, it overwhelms me and I just shut down. I just try and focus on the bit that I'm good at, which is the creative bit and then coming up with ideas.

And it's not always worked in my favor because if I had more of a clue about how things worked, I still don't know what a mechanical royalty is. I'm sorry. What the hell's that? A mechanical royalty? I don't know. I can't tell you because I'm just like,

I just get scared. It's all so complicated and it's complicated for a reason. So that idiots like me can get taken advantage of by people that are interested in that stuff. Well, quite Ticketmaster today when I was looking into it, I didn't, I'd never heard of this dynamic pricing thing. Such an interesting use of the word dynamic. That is the dodgiest cover up word I've ever heard. It's actually dynamic pricing. What? And in fact, that just means that they have complete

control of what they can charge based on what their interests are. Last time I heard dynamic was when I asked our producer Dino about the advertising for this show. In other countries. In other countries. And I said, do you know what, how do we, how do we control this with that? Oh, it's all, it's all dynamic. So what is it? It's a get out word. It's dynamic advertising.

It's just dynamic. Just don't worry about it, babes. Don't worry about it, babes. That's what dynamic means. Don't worry about it, babes. It does mean that, don't worry about it, babes, pricing. As we're Ticket master of taking this I wish everyone luck But I really think maybe look in the mirror before you spend six thousand

Christ I was much more excited about blur last year. I would have probably played quite a lot for that Anyway, good luck to every Oasis fan I hope you get that nostalgia kick you need that hit because I had mine from if silver chair were playing I'd probably pay 10 grand. You know surprising amount of people have texted me asking me Can I help them get Oasis tickets? I was like me Green ending that's gonna happen I mean, barking up the wrong tree. It's me again.

Hi, it's me. From yonder year, how are you? Just wondering if you had any space on the guesty. Guesty-westy for me, Lily. Don't worry, we'll go through Noel. Noel partied at Gorilla Bar with Garfield. It's not Garfield's like they can't do it without me. Like Noel needs me there. I said Garfield police.

Noel, if you're a miss me listener, sort us out. Sort us out. I actually do know quite a lot of the criminal Mancunian blagging ring, so I could probably get tickets through there. That's true. We could go from the underworld. We could really go through the black market. We really wanted to. We could introduce darker forces. It was so funny because my dad and like his mates are very much friends with, you know, sort of the happy Mondays and um, some of the stone roses and people, and they do hang out with people that are,

ticket selling enthusiasts, shall we say. And I remember one year going to pick up my passes from Glastonbury Press Office and getting there, and there being like CCTV pictures of basically all my dad's mates, like in the inside of the van. They were like, if you see any of these people report them immediately. And I'm like, Uncle Richard. Hi, lads. Uncle Phil.

Literally on the wristband scam since day. Anyway. Since day. Anyway, I'm going to call them and see if they can get me in. And I think they probably will be able to. Well, let's have a break, Lily Allen. Let's have a break. I could chat shit to you for hours. I feel like I haven't chatted shit to you for time. It's been really nice. It's been really nice to see you again. Have the family back together after all that upheaval.

All those men. Welcome to Origins with me, Kushtumbo, the show where the biggest names in entertainment tell me the stories that made them who they are today. Origins is a conversation about my guests' early inspirations and growing up. Guests this season include Dame Anna Winter, Poppy Delevingne, Pete Gopi, and Golda Raesheval, aka Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton. I only kind of discovered my sexuality when I went to drama school. Join me every week to hear where it all began. From Sony Music Entertainment, this is Origins with Kuss Jumbo.

Jumbo. Welcome back to Miss Me. Hello. Welcome back to Miss Me. Mum and Auntie Jeanette are just walking up the stairs. So you can say hi. Shall we talk to them about polyamory? Polyamory, yeah. No, you brought up polyamory.

It's just something that I've heard quite a lot about recently from people. Yeah, I think it's rife. It's becoming more dynamic. No, I'm joking. It is more common than I thought it was. It seems that there are quite, what is polyamory and what is pansexuality?

Tell me the difference. Hi, mom. Are you recording? Yeah, hi. Hello. Hi, Janette. Hi, honey. Hi, honey.

Hello, darling. Hi. In your groovy room, hello. Both, you can't hear her. Hi, Janette. Hi, Janette. Hello. Shall we go in the other room?

Hi, honey. Hello. Where's the dog? Where's the other dog? She's in the same room with Ellie. Oh, cool. Hi Jeanette! Hello! Hello! Where's the dog? Any thoughts on polyamory? Is that when you love everybody? No. I think that's everybody. Polyamory. No, it's not when you love everybody, it's when you can have several relationships at a time.

Several sexual relationships at a time. Well, I mean, if you've got got the energy more power to you. Okay. But I don't know how they can be bothered once quite a lot isn't it? Yes. I had two boyfriends at the same time, what's that? Tell us more, I want to know about that. Also just like to say with all this nostalgia, bands that change your life, gigs that change your life, my godmother that just burst in with my mother is Jeanette Lee and she started Rough Trade Records Which have given us some of the greatest bands this country's ever seen the Strokes, Libertines, Pulp, Big Shit Maybe she can get us some fucking tickets. Yeah

Alright mum, can you just come in? Oh god. Yeah, look I've got this mic now but um take a seat. Oh I guessed I know What do you want to know? When did you have two boyfriends at the same time? Oh, I don't know when it was. You know, I can't ever remember when anything happened. A couple of weeks ago. Nick and that guy, Aidan. You remember that guy, Aidan?

Oh my God, Aidan was a broom guy. I mean, everybody knew what was happening. It wasn't, I wasn't lying or anything. Everybody knew what was happening. You know, Nick would drop me over to Aidan's or, you know, it was all very grown up and, all it was all a bit much really. But you were sleeping with both of them? Yeah.

Did you have showers in between? What is Lisa saying? She said, did you have showers in between? Yes, yes. Why do you think that you wanted more than just Uncle Nick or just... I don't know. It was just like, like I just liked both of them and they both liked me and we were just, I just did whatever I wanted to do. It wasn't even a thing, it wasn't like a sort of big decision, it just was how it was at the time. And then A, just like sleeping

with somebody else and then that was a bit much, obviously. I was like, alright, fine. You were a bit too much at the party. And then I was done, really. OK. You can put your jacket on and get out now. Don't get too comfy. No, it's just hot. It's really hot.

OK. So that's interesting. I think what we learn is that in the 80s, when our parents were just dicking around, there was just less labels on. You didn't have a name for anything. You didn't have a name for anything. And we are, in this modern world, very quick to give something

a title and a name for anything and we are in this modern world, very quick to give something a title and a name. So polyamory or consensual non-monogamy is the practice of having multiple intimate relationships, whether sexual or just romantic, with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved. Polygamy is marriage to more than one spouse at one time, and I think I'm into that. Pansexuality is sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction

towards people of all genders or regardless of their sex or gender identity. Yeah, so that one's like being fluid, isn't it? Yeah. Whatever floats your boat, babes. Phoebe was telling me about West London and because she lives in Brighton now obviously in Hove but before she lived in like West and you lived in Queen's Park and Phoebe was more Halston and Phoebe said with the school parents, I don't want to bring out too many people,

with the school parents of the area the ones in in Kensal Rise and Queens Park with more money would very often have sort of Friday nights out together. Yeah. And they would just get wasted, you know, make a call. And then once they finished telling each other about their childhoods, they just start fucking each other. And that would happen quite a lot in that part. And in where Phoebe was down in like Halston, Willsdon, it was like just starting to happen

because of the gentrification that was coming through. So you think that the polyamory is a class thing? I think it can be, yeah. I think when it comes to that example, class ran through it quite heavily. I think maybe there's a freedom, stroke, boredom maybe, in having everything you need. Yeah, maybe. I mean, you were in Queen's Park. Did you sniff any of this energy out?

No, I'm just not really that way inclined. I mean, I've been saying that I did behave quite badly during the course of my previous marriage. There was no arrangement for my behavior. Right. Actually, let me ask you this, if we're here, do you think that would have helped your first marriage? Having an arrangement of sorts of freedom sexually

for both of you or one of you? No, because I think ultimately my actions were a cry for help. I felt like I was away on tour for long periods of time and I was sort of dragged away from my children and I really wanted to come home. And so I think I was behaving from on tour for long periods of time and I was sort of dragged away from my children and I really wanted to come home. And so I think I was behaving in this way that was like, help me, you come and save me.

You come up, bring me home, bring me home. And it didn't work. And the behavior just got worse and worse and worse. It's always a symptom of the other problem, isn't it sex? Yeah. Not always, but so often it's just so rarely about sex, especially if we're talking about it in this way. It's about power and pain.

Yeah. About power and pain. Actually, Phoebe said though, that sexual energy is creative energy and healing energy, but I'm also gonna save that for wanking. So maybe we should just end this if so much crossover is happening with wanking. Let's just save it all for wanking.

Wanking deserves our time and our energy on Monday. That is Listen Bitch's theme. God, everyone must be blueballed by this because this is two weeks that you've been waiting to discuss Wanking with us. Hope you've all been holding it in. Ready to... Edging. Let it all go. Hope you've all been holding it in ready to edging. Let it all go. Edging.

Edging. I really hope the country's been edging for us. Edging their vets. Absolutely edging their vets. Oh, God. Oh, we really are back. Woo! I will see you on Monday.

I've got to get to my mum and my godmother and Jeanette. They're just they're going to start making more noise. But I'll see you on Monday. I love you, it's really nice to talk to you, I don't know why I haven't talked to you for so long. I will see you on Monday, bye, love you, bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds.

Brown girls do It Too. You know, for most brown people, sex chat is off the cards. Not us. We love talking about it. From online dating to offline mating. I'm feeling fresh, you're feeling fresh. Let's get fresh.

We're back with a new series of Brown Girls Do It Too. Smell is so specific. Hit honest, real, and thought-provoking conversations about one of the most pleasurable experiences our mothers could never talk about. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call a tease. Brown Girls Do It Too. Listen on BBC Sounds.

Welcome to Origins with me, Kush Jumbo, the show with the biggest names in entertainment tell me the stories that made them who they are today. Origins is a conversation about my guests' early inspirations and growing up. Guests this season include Dame Anna Winter, Poppy Delevingne, Pete Capaldi and Golda Ra'Shaval, AKA Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton. I only kind of discovered my sexuality when I went to drama school. Join me every week to hear where it all began. From Sony Music Entertainment,

this is Origins with Kuss Jumbo.