Mission To Zyxx - 104: Assimilation Is Futile [ft. John Robert Wilson]

Episode Date: September 27, 2017

The crew is in for a surprise as they are deployed to the water planet Q’arf’fenn’. Dar cooks. Bargie gets ghosted. C-53 gives an anatomy lesson. Pleck overestimates his tolerance for moisture. Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as The K’hekk Swarm Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie With special guest John Robert Wilson as The Grower Mind of the K’hekk Edited by Seth Lind Recorded at Braund Studios by Shane O’Connell Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

The period of civil war has ended. The rebels have defeated the evil Galactic Monarchy and established the harmonious Federated Alliance. Now, Ambassador Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission 2. Hey, C-53? Yes?

I have a question for you. You can, like, wear any kind of body, right? Yes. My cube can be transferred to any frame you require. Like a vehicle? I have been a vehicle in the past, yes. That would be so cool. What if you were a vehicle and I, like, drove you around?

In Massacre Deck Center, I do not mean to disparage your driving abilities, but surely I could drive myself better than you would be able to manually steer me. Okay, sure. Well, maybe you just take me for a ride. So what else have you been? Have you ever been anything, like, really weird or scandalous? Okay. Hmm. So you don't have any, like, loyalty to your past bodies, then? before the Federated Alliance. Hmm. So you don't have any, like,

loyalty to your past bodies, then? No, nor even my current body. For instance, this hand. What? I have no particular attachment to it. No, you just tore off your hand. I thought you'd at least unscrew it or something. You just tore it off.

Just tore it off. What's the difference? What are you gonna do? I suspect I will fix a new hand at some point in the future. Okay, well, I mean, good luck, I guess. Thank you very much. Dar, do you feel like you're your whole body, or do you just think of yourself as your brain?

I'm feeling my whole body right now. What happened? I'm in heat. Oh, my. Yeah. Oh, Dar, what is that? What do we have to do? Okay, once every other moon cycle, my body just heats up and self-cleans.

Oh. Oh, so it's not like a sexual thing. No, it's like the opposite of a sexual thing. Ugh. Ugh. What gets cleaned? Everything inside. Oh.

To, you know, make sure that no other life forms are growing, bacterias, or transferred infections. Very uncomfortable. Yeah, you're like radiating heat right now. Yeah, I'm a cool 485 degrees right now. Oh, 485 degrees? Yeah, you could crisp a pie inside of me. Yes, Ambassador Dexeter, I urge you not to touch Dar during this period. Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

Take the skin and clean off your hands. Hey, is this a bad time to mention I have a date? A date? Yeah. No, it's a great time to tell us about that. So, uh, about 4, 4, 8, 8 o'clock? Yeah. Um, I'm gonna be going on a date. 44, 88, time

for a date, uh-huh. So, if you guys don't mind just keeping quiet, maybe lying on the floor, just in case, you know what I mean? Like, just in case something happens. You know what I'm trying to get at? I kind of don't. Just in case my hatchet opens and something gets inside of it.

Ugh. Anyways, I'm very excited. If you don't mind, I'm just going to scent myself. Oh. Ah! Smell good. Wow, that's... I think that's just gas, right?

That's just fuel. Ugh. Do you just shed them? Do they just come out? Man, we've learned a lot about our identities today. of course, my insides. Oh, do you just shed them? Do they just come out? Yeah. Man, we've learned a lot about our identities today. Ambassador Dexeter, I have an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bumbaloy. Oh, hey, Nermit, what's up, man?

Hello. Hey, hey, you're in a good mood. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess, yeah. They made a little announcement today, so. What was the announcement? Well, they are going to be conducting a round of interviews for missions operations managers. Hey, that is great.

That's going to save us so much time with C-53 saying your whole title. And also there'd be a small pay raise and access to different types of missions that might have a little higher propensity for success. So, yeah, I haven't exactly figured out which room those interviews are taking place in or how to sign up. But I did overhear that they're happening. You weren't personally invited. You just know that the interviews are happening. Yeah. And I'm going to find out where.

Every time I hear someone talking about it, they sort of scurry away. You know, I don't know how it works at the Alliance, but I feel like if you were up for a raise, they would tell you personally. Really? I think you should follow someone into their interview. Stalk them. Junior Missions Operations Manager, Nermit Bundler. You aren't going to get to say

that for long. Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundelik, how long have you been at your current position? Just over six months. Oh yes, since the founding of the Federated Alliance. Yeah. You're aware that this is a trainee position designed to last no more than one month? Well, I mean, I've noticed that a lot of people are kind of moving up faster, but I am biding my time, and I am on my way to Senior Missions Operations Manager. Well, but before that, and above you is Missions Operations Manager, which is well known as a minimum 10-year position. Oh, wow.

Well, 10 years at Missions Operations Manager isn't that bad. I mean, Nermit, how old are you now? I'm 22. Oh, okay, great. That's fine. How long does your species generally live? 26. Oh, no.

What? No. Nermit, we have so little time. Well, I mean, so your mission? Hey, now, listen, I believe i believe in you hey hologram man hell hologram man inside me you want some advice uh is that me yeah two words drop gas works every time that's how bargy stays young she just ejects aging yeah she just ejects gas yep i people make fun of me when I do that.

I think it might be a slightly different process for ships. Oh, okay. Yeah. So what's our mission? Your mission today, on to sunnier pastures. Your mission is to go to the planet Karfen. It's a water planet, so... Hey, pack your...

Hey, Darn, maybe you can cool off a little bit. Know your role and shut your mouth. Okay. I'm sorry, I didn't know that was... So it's a water planet, there's a small atoll where you'll be conducting your diplomatic mission with the receiving team headed by... her name is Kefna. Oh. Is there an apostrophe in there? Yes, there are three apostrophes. One is at the beginning, one in the middle, and one towards the end.

Yes, toward the end. Borgie being attacked. Borgie being attacked. What? Borgie being attacked. Wait, what? Borgie being attacked. Borgie, that's not funny.

Borgie. Borgie being attacked. What's happening? Borgie, Borgie. Borgie being attacked. How are you being attacked? Someone is touching me from the outside. Something is touching me.

What is that sound? Without my consent. What's happening? I lost transmission. Forgive her. I'm on the way. Hello? Hello?

I have lost transmission. Hello? Junior Emissions Operations Manager. Attention all main creatures. You have entered the wheel space of the grower mind. Prepare to be assimilated into the swarm. We are a cat! We are a cat!

We are a cat! We are a cat! Oh man. There are thousands of bug creatures surrounding the ship right now. Um, hey guys! Listen, we're just, uh, we're ambassadors. We mean you no harm. We're-

Oh, that is ambassadors. We mean you no harm. Oh, that is terrifying. There is no ambassadors. Oh. There's only the Grover mind and the ever undying will of the Swarm. We are the Keck. We are the Keck. Okay.

We are the Keck. We are the Keck. Ambassador Tech Center, it seems we are being invaded by the Keck, a species with a hive mind. Oh, boy. That's bad, right? Yeah, it's really gross. It's like a carapace of some kind. Okay, guys, is there anything we can do for you? We're just trying to get through here. There is only one thing you can do for the Grower Mind. Okay.

Die. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Okay. I should mention the kick had an adversarial relationship with the monarchy before we arrived. Hey, we're not with the monarchy. It's a totally different thing. We're the Federated Alliance. We beat the monarchy before we arrived. Hey, we're not with the monarchy. It's a totally different thing. We're the Federated Alliance.

We beat the monarchy, so, you know, my enemy is my friend, probably, right? There is no monarchy. There is no federation. There is only the undying will of the grower mind. Okay, alright, I guess I'm starting to see where this is going. Kek Swab, prepare to attack.

Zolders, mount your Rx. Weavers, support the Rx. Bulls, form a perimeter around the Rx and the soldiers and the weavers. Ambassador Dexeter, you may have trouble understanding some of this. Yeah, I don't. There is a very complicated caste system within the Keck society. Oh, okay.

So the bugs are different bugs from one another? That is a very reductive way of thinking about it, Ambassador Dexeter. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm trying to understand. For millions of years of evolution, we've perfected multiple forms of ourselves. By assuming and evolving all other life forms we come in contact with, we can genetically induce their most favorable

traits inside our own bodies. Wow, that's very succinct. Workers, soldiers, beetles, aurochs, bulls, weavers, royal drones, and the queens. And Bajie has a date to get to, so Okay, Bargy, we are trying to figure this out

Hey guys, we'll be with you in just one second Hey, D'ar, maybe you should I don't feel like fighting I just want to take a nap D'ar, are you okay? No, I'm okay Oh boy, I think D'ar! No, D'ar, are you okay? No! I don't care! Oh, boy. I think D'ar's out of commission.

Bargy, do you have any kind of defense systems, or... I can play some classic tools. Okay, I mean... We have reached your loading bay and are now boarding your ship. Passer-Dexter, possess no defensive measures in the loading bay. Oh, boy. This is bad. Bargy, are you okay?

I mean, I was hoping to keep that area clear. Clear for you to know why. Because I have a date later on. No, I know. And I've been using that part very heavily. It's been a couple of months, and I was ready to just open it up and let my date have its way. But now, these strangers are just coming in. Okay, I mean, Bargy... I mean, that makes sense.

Sure. Oh, yeah, no, that makes sense. It's embarrassing. I'm itching a lot right now. I'm sorry. Oh, wow. You guys are... There are a lot of you. Prepare to be assimilated. That was not... Soldiers!

Behind the workers! Get in various positions around the workers and the soldiers Billions of years of evolution have perfected our battle tactics Weavers

continue to win Oryx Bulls Royal Towers Queens You see we have a very complicated caste system

No I know We talked about that already Okay listen Ambassador Dexeter we barely scratched the surface Oh yeah We have a cat They look like balloons They do talked about that already. Okay, listen. We barely scratched the surface. Oh, yeah? Okay. We have an attack. They look like

balloons. They do. They're sort of silly. Prepare for assimilation into the swarm. All bow before the will of the grower mind. I am the consciousness of the swarm. I am

nowhere, but I am everywhere. I don't get it. I don't consciousness of the swarm. I am nowhere, but I am everywhere. I don't get it. I don't get what the... I'm like a brain living on a planet that's communicating psychically through this bug to you right now. Do you really not understand what that is? I get it now. It's very clear. But I was like looking at him and I was like, he looks sort of the same as the other guys.

The roller mine possesses the workers, the soldiers, the Beatles, the Oryx, the Weavers, the Royal Trunks, and the Queen. Why this body? Because it's the closest in proximity to you. Watch, I can jump from this body to another. Now I'm in a soldier bug. Is this better? Now I'm not a little worker. I'm a soldier.

I'm on your level now, able to talk to you. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Is that a more fun body for you to be in? Everything is fun when you are the grower mind. That's a very optimistic view. I have an incredible amount of fun all the time. I already have planned places for all of you among my brood. You, young, soft,

meaty Pequon. Hey, that's me. You will be a worker carrying eggs and food from hive to hive. That's pretty good. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, he's got you pegged. I guess I wouldn't mind working for the Keck for a little while, right? Ambassador Dexeter, are you not familiar with the Keck assimilation process? I guess.

I guess not. It involves the queen laying an egg inside your eyeball. That egg would then grow to assume control of your brain, manipulating you like a giant tellurian puppet. Oh, okay. Then never mind. You large, muscular one. Yeah. You will be a royal drone protecting a queen on the nearest planet.

That is actually a highly valuable position within Keck society, darlin'. You should be flattered. I am. I am flattered. Thank you so much. You, shiny one. Yes? You are not warm, nor is there life inside of you.

Oh, that's mean. I have no interest in you. None? None. So then he just gets to go free? He may go free. Oh. What about me, huh?

I mean, you're inside of me. You might as well label me too. Oh, wait. I know you. I know you inside of me. You were inside of me before. I've been here before. This is a recommissioned ship.

Yeah. Oh, I remember fighting you in three other systems. Oh. What memories. So good to have you inside three other systems. Oh! What memories. So good to have you inside of me again. Oh, thank you. That's great. Bargy, this is awesome.

Does this mean I don't have to have eggs laid in my eyes and be controlled like a puppet? The grower mind has a proposition. Oh, okay. Whoa! Wow, look. That bug just burst open all those croons spilled out of it. Take these croons back to your planet and live rich, plentiful lives. Add these croons to the money supply.

That's great. Yeah, thank you. Wow. Ambassador Dexeter, the grower of mine is not an authorized distributor of croons. Oh, is this like, this is like counterfeit money. Yes. I mean, money, I mean, money is still money. Bring the croons back to your planet and devalue the currency.

Oh, that's what this is about. You guys, you guys were like a big, I remember when I was growing up, the monarchy always talked about you guys as like an existential threat. The grower mind is unstoppable. It is unkillable. There are one yet billions of us. always talked about you guys as like an existential threat the grower mind is unstoppable it is unkillable there are one yet billions of us well you are an organic being surely you are killable for example it's well documented that the royal drones have weaknesses here oh and here oh you just tore off that bug's arms. Their design has many flaws.

See, now I just manifest myself in this one. You can't kill me. Well, but what if I kill this one? On the workers, their eye sockets here and here. If you add just a minimal amount of pressure, you can remove the entire faceplate, as I've just done. Oh, my. That was Weaver.

Soldier. Arak. You're getting it. You're getting it. Beetle. Oh, Weaver. Soldier. Arak. Beetle. Oh, Weaver again. Oh, stop. We have two... C-53. Yeah, oh, wow. I really wish we'd stopped doing that.

I thought we got the point of it the first time I demonstrated the death thing. I think I understand now. Okay, there's another- What if I killed this one? No, C-53. Listen, grower mind, do we have to fight? What's going on? You could come peacefully to-

To your planet. Yes. It's not really a good time? I don't think we can be assimilated right now. What if we sort of don't do that? My children, seize them! Oh, no! Seize them! Seize them! Prepare to be assimilated!

Okay. I wouldn't get that close to me if I were you. X! Ah! My work! My work! The big muster work! Flap your work! It's raining and heat! Too hot! Yeah, Dar's very hot right now.

You don't want to get close to it. My thorax is burning. We must go. Please. We will be back in greater numbers. My children retreat to the Darking Bay. All right. Workers, go first.

Then soldiers. Then the orcs and the soldiers riding on the orcs. Then bulls. Then weaver group one. Dismissed. Weaver group two. Wait until the royal drones and the queen has left. And then, okay, bulls, you guys are in the back.

Okay, on three. One, two, three, workers go. Another perfect executed maneuver by the swarm. Mating. Mating. This is Rebel Pilot Hark Tartagast. And before my starfighter crashes on this distant moon, I have an emergency message for Rebel HQ. Support for the rebellion against the cruel Federate Alliance comes from WordPress.com.

Every day, millions of people go online to search for local businesses, but does your small business show up? In addition to being a Rebel Pilot, I carve small wooden figurines and sell them from a little storefront. Before I had a WordPress site with a beautiful design, search engine optimization, and social sharing. I didn't get any business, but now they're really flying off the shelves, which is ironic because I carve wood bird figurines. You don't need to hire someone to build a site for you. You can do it with WordPress, the same way we built this rebellion, with our bare hands. Your business needs an online home. It needs a WordPress.com website. Ah, my Mega Thruster! So get started today with 15% off any new plan purchase. Just go to WordPress.com slash 6.

Z-Y-X-X to create your website and find the plan that's right for you. That's WordPress.com slash 6 for 15% off your brand new website. WordPress.com slash 6. Ejecting stasis five. Guys, when do you think the Keck are going to be back? If previous attack patterns show any consistency, the Keck will likely return within the next 24 hours. Oh, that's... What are we going to do? We don't have any guns? That's correct.

I mean, Dara's sort of unable to fight right now. She's in a weird mood. I... Dara repelled the kick. I did the best I could. No, but I sort of thought we would, like, fight them, but... We were lucky that their carapaces were geared for deep space travel. They were not able to bear Dara's heat at all. Yeah, that's true.

Barji, maybe we should just... Maybe we should just get out of here, right? Like, Bargy, can we just go to a different section of this system or something? Maybe they won't find us? Absolutely not. This is where I'm meeting my date. Oh. I'm just going to stay in here. This is going to happen any moment now.

But the Keck are going to come back and destroy us. You know that, right? Also, Bargy, it is well past 4488. I know, but it's going to show up. The other ship will show up. It's 5123. It will show up. It's going to be magical.

We've been texting. Bargy, listen. It's going to be here. Bargy. I am worth it. You are worth it. You are worth it, Bargy. We were exchanging pictures of our engines before.

I mean, you don't just do that with someone and it's not a follow through. I, I, I a thousand percent agree. Yeah. Anyway, I'm just gonna stay here. We're very vulnerable for when you- Am I old? Do I seem old to you? Is that the thing?

No, you're refurbished. You're beautiful. Okay, okay. Yeah, you look great, Bargy. You're still fast. Thank you. And your couches are still comfortable. Some of the couches were consumed partially by the tech, so... And they ate all of our food.

Have we gotten the transmitter back up and running? We should probably tell Nermit what's going on. I'm afraid the transmitter remains inoperative. I turned it off. That was a choice? Why did you turn it off? What if you get a text from your date?

I need it to be off so my date knows exactly where I am. No more interference. The only thing that's emitting from me right now is oil and my location. Inferious, Ambassador Dixon. It's very rude to have a transmitter on during a first date. I mean, I guess that makes sense. Just you're both trying to enjoy each other's company. Sure, yeah, you don't want to spend all your time on your transmitter.

Yeah, exactly. Bargy, you know the grower mind, right? Can you just tell them to, like, lay off? Well, you seem to be on pretty good terms. Yeah, you seem to be. Yeah. No. Bargy. You know who I want to say it to? My date. But are they here for me to say it to? No. Love is dead.

It doesn't exist. It's a facade. Bargy. Okay, so we're on the other side of this now. So you don't think they were being genuine when they were like... No, no one's genuine. Everyone's like, oh, I'll meet you at a certain location. Here we go.

Send me more pictures of your engine. Bargy. It's like, oh, finally, someone who gets me. We have a connection. Does it show up? I'm leaking bass for fun now. No, stop, Margie. Come on.

In case we do need to get out of here, we need some gas. Oh, oh, oh, good news. I think he's, I think it's here. Your date? I think it's here. Oh, hey, congratulations. Don't just blow open the doors like that. I'm so excited.

Oh. Wait, no, yeah, it's just the kids. Oh. Wait, no, you're just a kid. Oh, you're just a kid. No, they're back already? We have returned in much greater numbers. We're out of the cat. We're out of the cat. Controlled by the undying will of the grower mind.

Yeah, hey, welcome back. Hey, grower mind, guess who stood me up? Where is your date? Good question. I hope he exploded on the way here. You know what? Now that I think of it, I think I did assimilate a cargo ship on my way here. Sorry.

Oh, gosh. Marge, see? You weren't stood up at all. He wanted to be here. He isn's dead. If it makes you feel any better, all of the eggs that hatched and the resources you stole created all the children that you see before you. We have it.

Yeah, so, Bargy, I mean, your date's sort of here, in a way. Yeah, I guess. In a way, your date has gone very well. Yeah, I guess children were made. Yeah. Life was created. Workers and solvers. We have a very complex, efficient caste system that I will explain to you right now.

No, we know what they are. If you guys don't mind, I'd just like to turn all the lights off and reflect in solitude for a moment. Let Bajie be sad. Okay. Uh, when you say solitude, you mean... Everyone off the ship. No, I can't... Everyone, Bajie needs a moment.

Get off the ship. We can't, we can't leave, Bajie. I can't breathe out there. If you enter one of the carrier beetles and breathe inside there, there's a natural atmosphere inside the carrier beetles and breathe inside there. There's a natural atmosphere inside the carrier beetles. Everyone inside. Okay, alright. I guess let's get in these beetles and

leave Bargy alone. For you, Ambassador Dexeter, it is very moist inside these beetles. Nah, that's fine. You say it's fine, but I'm telling you now, you're not going to enjoy it. Future children, inside the beetles now! Oh, we don't have to be it. Future children, inside the beetles now. Oh, we don't have to be assimilated like if we get into the beetles, right?

Uh, no. No, you won't be assimilated if you get into the beetles. Whoa. I don't know. I don't think. Just get in the beetle. Okay, fine. Just open the hatch. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'll just get into this beetle. Oh, it is very moist in here. I tried to make that'm sorry. I'll just get into this beetle. It is very moist in here. I tried to make that as clear as I could. We are absolutely about to be assimilated. Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why is this happening again? I was married once, twice, four times, eighty times. Do my engines reak of sadness I have left a single Ambassador in the cargo bay Why Because I wanted to speak to you one on one Just you and me Remember before you were refurbished A week before you were decommissioned And we got into that big battle Oh yeah

Millions of my children were killed. I'll never forget that time. Before you had all your weapons unretrofitted from your hull. That was a great time. Did you ever think we could have been something? I always thought there could have been something there.

What happened? Why didn't you make it happen? Why were you so quiet? I was just preoccupied with my family, you know? It wasn't the right time, but now... Maybe now is. Maybe all of this was supposed to happen so we'd meet again. You ever think about that? The grower mind doesn't believe in fate, but yeah.

Grower Mind doesn't believe in fate. But, yeah. Wait. Wait, maybe I'm not sad. This all makes sense. Maybe I was supposed to assimilate that cargo ship. Maybe the universe is... Oh, wait, hold on. Now I remember all the bad things.

That you would mingle around with other people. I have to assimilate everything that has superior genetics to the grower mind. You can't punish me for what I am. Ugh. Ugh. You are a cantankerous old bitter ship. And you used to be fun. I used to be fun.

But now this is way too heavy of a situation for me. You used to be young and smaller and you had muscles. Now look at you, you literally look like a balloon. I've got billions of children to take care of. Oh wow, from who's the mothers, who's the fathers, who even knows. Get your life together. The queens at the top of my caste system are the mothers. And they are cared for by the royal drones and the soldiers' protection.

Alright, this is way too much for me. This is too heavy. I'm going to go assemble another planet and get as far away from you as I possibly can. You gotta fix yourself. Children, to me. Get out of the pack. You're dead to all life! Get out of here! You dance of all life! Get out of here! I feel better. Alright, everybody back inside. Let's have fun.

Hello? Oh. Oh crap. Well... I guess I was just meant to fly alone. I can just do whatever I want with my gas. And so just by pulling that nerve cluster there, you can effect a release almost instantaneously. It was very moist in there.

I tried to warn you. It was very moist in there. C-53, I usually hate being taught things, but that was genuinely very interesting. Well, guys, I think we did it. Hey, Bargy? Yeah? How are you feeling? You know what? I feel good. Yeah?

I'm happy I spoke to that lowlife. You really gave him a piece of your mind. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to only have fun from now on. Hey, you know what? You are fun, Bar you are fun every day a new ship inside of me okay no no no no no see you no that's too far i'm about fluid exchange no bargy gas mixing i'm just gonna keep my back hatch open and anything that wants to slide on and can slide on it no more commitment no no no now i think i think that's too far. That seems too far. Anything planet object shit, go on in.

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Listen, Barjee, I'm glad you're feeling better, but can you just do me a favor? Yeah. Can we turn the transmitter back on? It's on. Ambassador Dexeter, we have an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager in the Nermit Bundle. Wow. Hey, Nermit. Oh, thank goodness. I'm trying for an hour to get through to you, and it seemed like the transmitter was broken. I am so relieved.

It wasn't broken. It was just off. It was just turned off. Excuse me? My boss was on me for a broken transmitter for an hour, and he let it off. Okay, well, I'm just glad it's fixed. So did you guys make it to the planet?

I think I managed to at least tell you the name of it before we got cut off. I think we were invaded in the meantime. Excuse me? Yeah, there was some kek aboard the ship, and it was a long story. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The kek were an enemy of the monarchy. Yeah, it turns out they don't really give a shit. They just want to assimilate everybody.

Yeah. Okay, so since the transmitter is broken, literally the mission that I'm overseeing represents the start of a battle between the Keck and the Federated Alliance? Yeah, I mean, I guess so. I guess you could call it that, yeah. Previously recorded Keck attacks, then, yes? Do you know how this is going to look in my interview for Missions Operations Manager?

Nermit, you got an interview? No, I didn't get an interview, but when I have one, this is not the type of thing I lead with. I see. Nermy, Nermy, they ate all of our food. We're going to need a new shipment of that. Can you say...

Some of our furniture, but not all of our furniture. It looks like a lot of it was actually burnt. Oh, that may have been... That is a separate issue. That may have been Dar. She was in heat for a while. Will you throw me under the ship? Okay, we can get you food, but let's... It would now

be the appropriate time to request a new hand. Yeah, send it with the food. And the new furniture. I need more oil. Pargy ejected a lot of oil. C53, your hand was destroyed by the kek? Um, yes. Yes.

All right. We'll send an autonomous shuttle with food, with a droid hand, with some cold sacks for Dar. Thank you. Cold packs. Packs or sacks? Both. I would like both. I'll see what we have.

I'll try to send a lot of both. Packs and sacks. Send a pack of sacks and a sack of packs. You can't put the cold packs inside a cold sack. Well, you could put it in a regular sack. We could put... Put some packs in a regular sack. And could you get the brand name Colds to Sack? Yes, I can request Colds to Sack brand cold packs and cold sacks.

I can put them in a normal sack. I can't put everything... Colds to Sack doesn't make cold sacks. It only makes Cold Packs. You're right. Colt DeSac's brand, Cold Packs. Do you have any specification on the Colt's Sack brand? I mean, sorry, Colt... Okay.

I like the ones with the husky puppies on the outside. I think that is... That's Cool Pack. Cool Pack Cold Sacks and Colt DeSac's Cold Sack. I used to date a hacky sack. To be continued... Thank you. and Unlimited Lives Podcasts. He performs regularly with Thank You Robot every third Friday of the month at Under St. Mark's Theater in New York City. Follow him on Twitter at JohnRobertUlso. Mission to Ziggs is recorded at Bronze Studios

in Greenpoint, Brooklyn by engineer Shane O'Connell. This episode edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Music by Brendan Ryan. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Mission to Ziggs is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom.

If you're enjoying Mission to Ziggs, please consider leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes. Have a question for the crew? Send an email to crew at mission to zix dot space. And then, okay, Bulls, you guys are in the back. We're all going. Okay, on three. One, two, three. Workers, go. Okay, soldier.

What? Another perfect executed maneuver by the swarm. I still think they're killable. Let's call that the half. Oh, man, that's really funny. I'm sorry. I could not stop laughing.