Mission To Zyxx - 106: Dust-Up at the Diner [ft. Lauren Adams]

Episode Date: October 11, 2017

The crew enjoys some poorly-earned downtime. Dar explores the plumbing. Pleck reminisces about Rangus 6. C-53 can swim? Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and Peck the Pervert Winston Noel as Sammo Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Wink With special guest Lauren Adams as Bory Ampber Edited by Seth Lind Recorded at Braund Studios by Shane O’Connell Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Additional music by Shane O’Connell Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

The period of civil war has ended. The rebels have defeated the evil Galactic Monarchy and established the harmonious Federated Alliance. Now, Ambassador Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission 2. Hey, Bargy? Yeah?

Could you open the window on this side? Oh, God. What am I, huh? Huh? What am open the window on this side? Oh, God. What am I, huh? Huh? What am I, huh? I don't... I think she's saying you could open it yourself. Oh.

The controls are not over here. That's your deck, sir. Okay. Boy, there's a big panel of buttons here. You know, back in the day, people used to line up to open my windows. Opening my windows was a luxury. But now, huh? Nothing.

Now people ask me to do it myself. Honestly, sometimes I just want to crash the ship and see what happens. Yeah, you tell them, Bart. No, Bart, you don't. Life is worth living. Whatever, I'm going to sleep mode. Deal with it.

No, God. Wow. She's closed all the windows. Oh, I'm going to sleep. Mo, deal with it. Wow. She's closed all the windows. Oh, great. Ambassador Dexeter, there is an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager, Nermit Bundeloy. Hello, team.

Hey, Nermit. Ambassador Dexeter, how are you? Just terrific, sir. How are you? Oh, thank you for calling me, sir. Am I not supposed to do that? Okay. Hi, Nermy. C-53. Okay.

All right. Bargy. Huh? Yeah, Bargy, you know, she's asleep. She's pouting. When someone or something is asleep, they don't say they're asleep. I'm asleep. All right.

Yeah, no, it keeps me up at night, actually. She just has a loop of I'm asleep. It's very important to remind us or else we won't know. I'm asleep. I bet you a hundred croons she's just repeating it over and over. Tell your missions operations manager, was there a reason for your call? Yes, actually, I have good news. There's a slight delay on your next mission placement, so you actually have six hours

of downtime. Hey, that's great. A little R&R, huh? Yeah, I think you've earned it. We can't say all the missions have gone perfectly, but... Have some of the missions gone perfectly? Have any? No, none of the missions have gone perfectly.

Huh. Ambassador Dexeter and Dor, we are nearby to Slog's Diner. Oh. We need to spend our six-hour break somewhere slightly more interesting than marching. Yes, sign me up. Hey, great. Yeah, I've never been, but let's give it a shot, right? I'm asleep.

Wow, look at this menu. This menu is like... This menu is like 50 pages long. Ambassador Dexeter, this is a standard diner menu. Perhaps you have not encountered one before. I mean, I just... I guess it makes sense. There's a lot of different, like, beings in here. What's good?

I do not eat, Ambassador Dexeter. Okay. Their power is very good. I don't know if you could. They serve power? Is that one of the things in the menu? Yes. Flip to page 39. Wow, okay. You have got to go check out that bathroom. Why? What's so cool about it?

Amazing. Well, you see, each little stall has its own little hole. And each hole is connected to another stall. Do you know what I'm saying? Wait, the hole goes to a different stall? Yes. I don't think, are you sure that's a bathroom or

is that like a series of weird glory holes? Oh no, it's a series of weird glory holes. Oh. Can I just say that was amazing? I don't know if that's inappropriate, but that was you, right? You are behind me. Never knew anybody could get in that many holes at one time. What I enjoy about glory holes is that they're anonymous.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, you're right. You know what? You know what? My bad. Ugh. Hi, welcome to Slugs. My name is Bori. I'll be your waitress today. What can I get for you to drink?

Or if I can hook anyone up, I'd be happy to do that, too. Oh, hello, Bori. I'm Ambassador Plekdexeter. We're here with the Federated Alliance. This is C-53, and this is Dar. All hail the Federated Alliance. So you guys are with the Feds, huh? Mm-hmm. Hmm, interesting. You don't look like Feds to me. Well, I joined pretty recently.

Maybe that's what it is. I was out on Rangus 6, and, you know, it was kind of boring, and I just thought, you know, I wanted some adventure. Oh, you've been to Rangus? See the, yeah. Wow, I've never been there. Oh, it's great. Wow.

It's, like, mostly farmland. You know, I'd love to see that. Yeah. I'd love to see a whole planet of salad. Wara, you could go to Rangus 6 very easily. Space fare is very inexpensive due to lack of demand. Well, lack of... Demand? Yeah.

It's pretty boring, honestly. They have no tourism of which to speak. I never, um... I've never left the diner. Never? I've never left the diner. Were you born at the diner? Born at the diner. And I've never left the diner. Neither? I've never left the diner. Were you born at the diner? Born at the diner.

And I'll die at the diner. Wait, I, this might be a, this might be sort of like an insensitive question, but like, are you... You know saying that doesn't make it okay to say something, right? I mean, that's true, but I just, I kind of, I'm kind of curious. Ambassador Dixit, I feel I should step in before you make a diplomatic gaffe. Oh. It's almost impossible to hurt my feelings, so I think you should go ahead. Well, I was going to ask if you're one of the items on the menu.

Oh, my. Wow. No, not like, not in a weird, not like in a sexual way. Well, it did come out weird. Yeah, that did come out a little weird. No, I just mean, like, if you were, I just, if you were born here, are you like a product of the diner, or were you like. The diner did make me, yes, that is correct. Okay, so at one point you were born here, are you like a product of the diner? Or were you like... The diner did make me, yes.

That is correct. So at one point you were on the menu. I was made on the line in the kitchen, yeah. Wow. My dad, that's what I call the line cook, I think he was just feeling creative that day. And he said, what if I make me a daughter? Whoa. Yeah.

That's really crazy. Yeah, but I don't get paid to work here, so I can never afford to buy myself and walk out those doors. I can't ever pay my check, you know? What about tips? We don't take tips. What? We do not accept tips at this diner, no. That's a shame.

Do people try to tip you and you have to turn them down? All the time. Constantly. Excuse me. Hi. Apologies if I'm distracting you from your other tables. Oh, yeah. Well, I got a couple of so-and-sos over here. Excuse me. Hi. Apologies if I'm distracting you from your other tables. Oh, yeah. Well, I got a couple of so-and-sos over here.

Excuse me. Hi. Hi. Wow, that table is up at the ceiling. That's really weird. I had a quick question about my order. Okay, well, you have a question every day. Dude, don't forget me, Sam-O.

I'm attached to you, but I'm my own person. Wink. Come on. You guys are in here every day. What do you need? I went a little crazy and I ordered the Cornwa. If he has it, it goes into me and I'm allergic to it. We're connected.

You know this. We're connected and she's Clark intolerant. What is the base ingredient of the Cornwall? What do you grind to make a Cornwall patty? Plark? So yeah, of course there's Plark in it, guys. Sammo, turn around so I can see Wink. Hold on.

Wink? Yes? Are you guys on dust again? What? Why would we be on dust? Why would we be on dust? Why would we be on dust? Why would we be on dust? Why would we get all dusted up

and then... Wait! I'll get you an extra towel to clean that up. I'll be right back. Thank you. Ice cream, please! Yes, we'd like ice cream as well. Okay. You got it. Two ice creams coming up, one towel.

C53, I'm sorry about that. You got it. Two ice creams coming up, one towel. Uh, C-53, I'm sorry about that. That looks gross. It is simply unmanly as the fact. Pluck, I'm gonna take a quick advantage of that sweet waitress walking away from our table to bring up that, uh, you two are kind of hitting it off. What, me

and Bori? Yeah. No, no, I don't, I'm not really... And I have to say it is a small miracle that she's interested in anything that you were talking about. Oh, well, that's sort of rude. Ambassador Dexeter, did she not wish to visit your home planet? You think that she was hitting on me? I mean, you don't even want to visit your home planet. Yeah, I don't.

I really don't. What? Hey. What? We come in here a lot. Yeah. And she's definitely into you. She wants to put her thing into that thing of yours.

Yeah, but a quick word of warning. Yeah. Her lower half is made of pie. Her lower half is pie. I thought that was like a dress she was wearing. No, that is a crepe crust. Yeah, she's half pastry. Okay.

I mean, clearly you've just been staring at her face because you have not noticed the entire package. Can we give you one more word of advice? Do it, Wink. If you're really into her, and this is just based on us being here like every day. Yeah. Sure, maybe on dust, but like the way the way you can, like, get into it, into her. Oh.

Compliment her nose. Do it. Okay. Thanks. I feel like it's weird that their table is literally directly above ours. We're gonna... Do you want to...

Is that unsettling for you? Yeah, I feel like it can't be sanitary, right? Do you want to score some more dust right now and get more pork? Should we order it? Yeah, let's order it can't be sanitary, right? Do you want to score some more dust right now and get more pork? Should we order it? Yeah, let's order some dust. Yeah. It's weird that they sell dust here, too.

It's extremely unusual that they sell dust. Are you going to use the bathroom again soon? You have got to stop talking directly next to my face. I waited a long time, as long as I physically could. Just, I hope you consume things like food or liquids so that you need to go back in there, because I'll be in there. Hey, hey, hey, Peck, Peck, Peck, get away from my table.

Are you being creepy again? Get back in the bathroom. I don't know, I've got one speed. You call it what you want. I call it creepy, Peck. Here's your towel. Ice cream's vanilla. Coming up, ready?

One, two. Bye. Bye. Peck has ruined Glory Halls for me. I don't like that that guy has a name sort of similar to mine. It just is what it is. Feelings mutual,

you boring, bland, rancous norm norm. Get out of here. That's enough from you. You gave me trouble last week, and I won't take that today. Hey, Bori, I have a quick question. How many people just come here to buy drugs? That's enough from you. You gave me trouble last week, and I won't take that today. All right. Hey, Bori, I have a quick question. How many people just come here to buy drugs?

I mean, almost everyone in here is here to buy drugs. This isn't under any rule of any kind. You can sort of do whatever you want in here. If I'm not under the restriction of this restraining bolt, I would probably order some dust. Can you do dust? Can a droid do dust? It has a technological component. Oh, interesting? Really? What's the result in your system?

I just don't work very well for a little while. Is that fun for you? You'd think it wouldn't be, but it is. I certainly have not done dust while working for the Federated Alliance. All hail the Federated Alliance. I mean, all hail the Federated Alliance, sure. Shall we order, Ambassador Dex? Yes, absolutely. I honestly have not gotten a chance to look at the menu. Do you want to, all hail the Federated Alliance, sure. Shall we order, Ambassador Dexter? Yes, absolutely.

I honestly have not gotten a chance to look at the menu. Do you want to hear about our specials? Sure. Great. Psst. Psst. You should get the dust. I don't.

Compliment her nose. And compliment her nose. Okay, so we got a couple specials today. We've got some fried flats of flang. Those are coming done medium. Okay. They're crusted on each side, and they're deep fried flats of flang. Those are coming done medium. They're crusted on each side, and they're deep fried. They're delicious. You're going to love it.

If you're wanting something a little bit lighter, we have cottage cheese. It just comes in a bowl. That's it. And then for dessert. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. We just thought you might want.

I'm really, I feel, I'm on the clock. I can't really do dust right now. Sorry, boy. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. We just thought he might want dust. I'm really, I feel, I'm on the clock. I can't really do dust right now. Sorry, boy. Sorry. Sorry. Dixit or Dixit, have you ever done dust? No. Really?

I don't wish to force you to try dust out of peer pressure, but dust is great. Okay. You know, I can't do dust either because I'm working right now. Sure. Oh, you guys have that in common. Oh, I know. Sammo, I know what you're doing. We're not.

Sammo. I'm just scooping ice cream into my mouth. Sammo, look down and wink. Turn around so I can see Sammo. Look down here and look me in the eye. Did you tell him about my pie? What? Did you tell him about my pie? What? Did you tell him about my

pie? What, that your bottom half is made of pie? Yeah. Uh, might have. Did it come up? It might have come up. We were given that information. I mean, there are percentages, but is zero and a hundred the same? Yeah, they are.

Oh. Okay. I would like to hear the rest of these specials. Oh, we just had one more, which was dessert, which is vanilla ice cream. That's a special? Okay, what did I miss? Oh, you just... How did it go in there? You know what?

It was better a second time. We've learned Ambassador Dexeter has never done dust. Oh, wow. Really? Yes, really. They don't have dust on Rengis 6? I can confirm they do have dust on Rengis 6. Well, that's, I mean, that's true. The rural areas of the galaxy have a real dust problem.

And, you know, I like to think, you know, that I'm one of the people who's not, you know, buying into it. But you were never offered dust? Was that the... I mean, you had to have gone to at least one party. You mean a duster? Oh, you know, I live in this diner, so I know one when I see one. You don't have any friends. Well, I wouldn't.

I mean, I have... I've had friends. Name one friend. Okay. I've had friends. Name one friend. Okay. Well, when I was growing up, there was a couple farms over.

There was a kid. Well, he was blind, so sometimes I would go over and stand next to him. Was he aware of your presence? I don't think so, but sometimes he would. That does not count, and wow, you have really brought down the mood of this brunch. Hey guys, do you mind if I just take a minute? I gotta go butter my breadsticks are drying out, so I'm gonna just be back in just one second to take your order.

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There's a lot of different languages in here. Yeah, you know, just so many different types of people come through here. Do you have a favorite cuisine? My dream in my whole life is to enter a baking contest. Really? Yeah. I've never been to one, but this very important person in the Federated Alliance told me about a baking contest one time. And he said that it's sort of like

winning a war, you know? It's like you're strategic and you save your good recipes for the end and you make people think you don't know how to cook or fight when you really do know how to cook and fight. So... Lori, may I inquire? Sure.

Was the Federated Alliance representative talking about a baking competition or describing a war using the metaphor of a pagan competition? You know, now that you've said it that way, I think it's the latter. But when I heard it, I thought it was the former. Huh. Which Federated Alliance official, pray tell, was in here and are they here now? Okay.

He's in here almost every single day. And it's the tall one with the long stripe on his uniform, and he's got all the shinies on his shoulders. You couldn't possibly be describing the fifth best friend, could you? No, yeah, it's the fifth one. Counselor Trink is in here every day. That's his name, Trink. You're right.

Is he cool? Oh, he's so nice. I don't think he gets to talk about things to a lot of people, so he just gavs, gavs, gavs at me. I have to walk away sometimes and help other tables because he just won't stop. Wow. So, yeah, my dream, if I could get into a baking contest, I would just love that. I think I would win. I'm quite good.

I bet. You have like an inside knowledge that most people don't because most of you is baked. Yes, that's true. I am, yeah. It's a unique perspective. That must present a number of difficulties. Yeah, yeah. You know, I can't go swimming.

I've never done that. Love to swim. You're in love. C-53, you like swimming? Swimming is a joy. C53, I think that's maybe the happiest I've ever seen you describing anything. Swimming is very

fun. I wouldn't think that you would be able to swim. I would think you would short your whole thing out. Oh, it can be extremely dangerous for me to do so, but when I am able, a joy. Bori, I'm sure you've got other tables, but real quick. C53,cribe what the conditions are under which you would be able to swim.

Well, briefly in the past, I was a naval unit. Like your cube was in a different... That's correct. I was in a intelligent destroyer unit in the Armenian naval... So you were swimming when you were a boat? Yes.

Does that count as swimming? For you, buddy, it will count. I mean, you seem very excited about it, so I think it should. It was very pleasurable. Have you ever seen, like, a tellurian swim? Yes, I have no idea why you even attempt it. It's such an inefficient process. So what you're describing...

No propulsion unit at all other than the flailing of your own nerves? That's what I think of as swimming, which I think is fun Yeah, and they can die that way They can't breathe You can die that way? Yeah, they can't breathe under the water Oh no, not at all Not even a little And you risk swimming

Yeah With your wildly ill-equipped Listen, you were very on board with swimming when you thought it was being a boat. And now you're very against it. You know, we have underneath the diner, there's a series of tunnels, some filled with water, some not, that go in and out of everywhere. I've never been down, but I've heard. What are the ones that aren't filled with water filled with?

They're just empty tunnels that you could maybe walk on your legs through. Oh, okay. And you haven't been in those tunnels? No, I'm not allowed. So when you say you've never left the diner, you mean you've never left the kitchen or the restaurant? Yeah. Does that bother you?

Are you kidding me? Yeah. People come through here and all I hear are stories about cool places and awesome things people get to do, like playing Zyball. I never played that. Oh, I played Zyball. Zyball isn't fun? Well, no, I mean, it's fun if you're

good at it, but I was bad at it. Do you find the five balls confusing? Yeah, I can't keep track of all five. But I heard all the balls are just a different shade of green. So you should be able to keep them apart. You just look at the different shades. But when they're moving very fast, they're very close in shade.

Tellurians don't have very good vision, huh? No, they do not. It's quite limited. Yeah. They can't even see infrared. Oh, I can even see infrared, and I got grapes for eyes. They're seedless reds. Oh, that's why.

If you had purple eyes, perhaps you would be able to see ultra reds. Oh, that's why. If you had purple eyes, perhaps you would be able to see ultraviolet. Oh, yes. I wonder what green grapes can see. Gamma radiation. There you go. Alarm. Alarm. Attempted tip.

Attempted tip on table 312. On table 312. You gotta take this with you. Gosh, look at the apples that make up her face. Look how red they are. Ugh. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What the jock? The nose. I didn't get around to it. Like, how difficult is it? Just say your nose is on your face, but that's all it takes. You might want to go slightly further than that. No, no. Twink is right.

Just say your nose is on your face. Ambassador Dexeter, I've been programmed with many forms of pickup styles. If you're having trouble. You know what? That is definitely not. Ambassador Dexeter, I've done two piles of dust, so I think I can tell you a few things, too. I don't think so.

And when he does them, it goes straight through me, too. Yeah. Oh, okay. Wow. Can I ask you, too, a question? Yeah. Are you guys friends, or are you the same thing? Are you guys like... Do you not know what friends are? Is that what you're asking?

No, I'm asking like, are you the same... Ambassador Dexeter, are you saying you're friends with yourself? No. I'm asking if Sammo and Wink are the same being, or if they're like... Ambassador Dexeter, do you have a second name for yourself? No. What? Well, then something with two names is two different entities.

Well, yeah. Two different entities can be friends. Alright, are we ready to order, or are we ready to order? I think we're probably ready. C-53? I'll take some of your power. Great, absolutely. Now, do you want to do a high speed or low speed charging?

Why don't we do low speed? I'll take a bowl of the cottage cheese. Going for the special. Yep. It sounded so good when she said it. I could have not ordered it. Great. And for you, sir?

Now's your chance. I guess... Order dust. Are those my only two choices? Yeah. Yeah. Um, I, I, uh, I would like... What was that first special?

The fried flats? Uh, yeah. I'll get that with a side of nose. Oh, I'm so sorry. We don't, um, we don't serve nose. That was offensive. What? She's not on the menu.

That was so offensive. Well, yeah, no, but I thought it was like a joke about how she's... A side of nose? Oh, my. You were making a joke about my nose? No, I think you've got a great nose. My nose is really important to me because it's the only thing that reminds me of my mother. Who's your mother?

She was a woman. She was a Tellurian woman, and she was the waitress in this diner before me, and some of her inner parts got all over the line cook. Ugh. And, uh... Wait, did she die? Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Ambassador Dexeter, you are playing this all wrong. I do remember. You should have suggested this as a name. A side of nose is a negative compliment. It's going to lower her self-esteem, allowing you to maintain control of the exchange. Do you remember? I don't want to do that. Listen, C-53, I don't want to play weird games. No. Listen, this is a pie-bottomed, apple-faced woman that you're standing in front of.

You need to treat her with respect. Alternately, treat her with no respect. No, C-53, I do not want to do that. That's not who, that's not what I... If you don't know how to treat a food golem, I don't know what to say, buddy. Nothing. Thanks, Wank.

You're welcome. Hey, um, do you want to go to the bathroom? You know what? I do. Cool. I've had to pee real bad this whole time, and I am terrified to go in there. Ugh, it's the best. I don't know, because I feel like if I put it in the hole, then something's going to happen. And if I don't, then it feels like I'm enabling somebody else.

What's wrong about enabling someone else yeah you know i mean i i just feel like allowing someone else to succeed sure succeeded like being peed on by me yeah oh you're under the table now yeah you just got here just got here wasn't hanging out here. But if being peed on is what they desire, is that somehow helpful? Great. I'm having trouble understanding. I mean, I guess so. But sometimes, you know, just peeing is just peeing, you know? You know, we could definitely have this same conversation right in the bathroom with only a wall separating us. When peeing is just peeing, that sounds very inefficient.

It also sounds very selfish. Why waste it? It's going to go out of you anyway. Just put it on old Peck. Peck. Pleck. Peck. Pleck.

Please don't compare us like that. That's no comparison. That's your name, my name. I guess I hadn't really thought about it that way. Well, you know where to find me. Otherwise, you're going to have to hold it. Okay, so let's see. We've got order up. We've got cottage

cheese here. Thank you. And you have the fried flats here. Yep, thank you. You know, it's funny. This exact order sort of reminds me when the seven were in last week. They ordered almost the same thing, and then they said, can't wait for that cargo shipment. You have the council of seven

in here? What do you think they were referring to? Hell if I know You know, my ears are just Two tiny little brussel sprouts Wait, do you think the seven was like Were they talking about dust? Oh, I guess I just wouldn't know That would be

I mean, dust is illegal Dust is illegal Not here Yeah, but if there was cargo. You know, I gotta get back to the kitchen. This is getting a little too dusty for me. Hey, uh, Sammo? Hi.

Oh, yeah. Hey. Hey, uh, do you know where the dust that they sell comes from? Oh, the dust? Oh, the dust. Oh, uh, well, um, you know, I mean, it's... We don't know. Yeah, yeah it's... We don't know. Yeah, yeah. Of course we don't know. Why would we know?

Why would we know? We're... That would be so weird if we knew! You were told at voice and price that you... Definitely know. What? Huh? Hey, Sammo? Yeah?

Group meeting. Okay. Look me in the eye. This is terrible. That looks very painful. What do you think, Wank? No. Uh, we can't really tell you where the... That was very underhelpful.

Underhelpful? I mean, it... Excellent, Wank. Ambassador Dexeter. Excellent. No, no, we want you to like us. Oh. No, now that you say it that way, we'll tell you.

Yeah, you're a dust buddy. Yeah, you're a dust buddy. Sure. We put dust into that food you like us. Oh. Now that you say it that way, we'll tell you. Yeah, you're a dust buddy. Yeah, you're a dust buddy. Sure. We put dust into that food you just got. Yeah. You've just been chomping on some dust, buddy. We just had some dust. That flat's full of dust.

So much dust. My scanners do indicate that fried flat is full of dust, Ambassador Dexeter. I'll tell you this. Comes in. Ship's unmark tell you this. Comes in. Ship's unmarked. Goes out. Same ship. Same ship.

Comes in every day. Every day. Winks right. And probably whoever controlled the dust could control the entire sector. Probably even the whole galaxy. And maybe that's something that someone once said in here. Yeah.

Out loud. A group of people, maybe. We were pretty plorked, though. But what are we not? Yeah! How's everybody's meal doing? Yummy. Terrific.

So good. Hey, Sammo and Wink? Yes? Yes. Before this dust kicks in, I just want to ask you guys, are one of you guys going to be my friends now that we've done dust together? I mean, no. No.

Honestly, like, friendship takes a little bit more effort. Like, you really got to get to know each other and spend some time and ask questions. You guys just told me that doing dust was the key to having friendships. When is our birthday? Answer that. I don't know. You don't know our birthday, so how can we be friends? Oh, well, is there anything else I can get you with your meal today? Or would you just like a check?

I think we're good. I'm just, you know, I'm just going to hit the bathroom and then I think we'll take the check. Sure. So, let's. We have one of the frying flasks and the power. 26 crores all in. Oh, wow. That is very reasonable. Oh, yeah. This is just like your standard diner. It's normal. It's a standard diner that gets a shipment of dust every day from an unmarked cargo ship. And maybe underground there's like a system of shipments and coming and

outing or whatever. Right, and maybe sometimes if like some of the distributors get mouthy, they get killed and shot into space. She said the wrong thing! And then they kept her nose and put the nose inside of a food golem.

Wait, that's how your mother died? Yeah. Oh, that's why? Wow, why are you bringing that up? Yeah, Plek. No, it's really messed up. Be more disgusted by this. There's still a chance you can pull this out. No, stop. Tell her she's gross.

That's definitely not what I want to do. Can we just get rid of that option entirely? I can't get rid of it, but I can stop offering it. Yes, please do. Put it wherever you keep your opinions. Compliment the nose. Just say there's a nose on her face.

Bori, listen. I am really sorry that that happened to you. Thank you. That's really nice. And if it was up to me, I put you in the refrigerated cargo hold of our ship, the Bargerian Jade, so that your pie would stay nice and cool. Oh my gosh. And we could fly away together.

Wow, that is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you, friend. Hey. Oh, I mean... Wow. This really feels good. Sort of feels like I'm levitating and that my fingers are like tree branches.

That's the dust. Oh, that's the dust. That's the dust. That's the dust. Yeah. That's the dust. Attention. Attention, this is Rebel Pilot Hark Tardigast with a final message.

Somehow my escape pod is still careening toward this planet where I will surely meet my demise, but I just spent my last hour alive doing one of my favorite things. Listening to the podcast, and that's why we drink. It's about the paranormal and true crime, two of my greatest passions. In addition to bringing down the Federated Alliance, of course. Hosts Em and Christine drink wine and milkshakes while telling amazing stories of ghosts and crimes.

You know what, I might pop a bottle of red and settle in for another episode before the icy cold hand of death takes me. And that's why we drink comes out every Sunday. I just lost my heat shield. Find it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm about to burn up in an alien stratosphere, so I will soon be another ghost for them to talk about. Hart Tardigas

signing off. Listen for me from the beyond. Ambassador Dexeter, there is an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy. Oh, hey Nermit. Greetings. Hey. Hi Nermy.

Uh, hello. Listen, I just, before you say anything, I'd like to apologize for what happened back there at the diner. My eyes were on fire and my fingers were tree Listen, I just, before you say anything, I'd like to apologize for what happened back there at the diner. My eyes were on fire and my fingers were tree branches and I just, I honestly don't really remember what happened, but it was sort of fun and now everything's fine, so let's just drop it. Alright. And they took our corporate card for all the damages, so. Apology not accepted. Okay.

It's worth a shot. And sorry to say, but that corporate card was actually not yet filled with funds, and that has been charged directly to your personal accounts. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. So the 26 croons meal plus the 3,000 croons damage. Yes. Really, we should have covered the meal, and I'm sorry about that. I just,

I didn't get some paperwork in on time. But the 3,000, that's really on you. C-53, why don't you pull up the video of Plek's little performance in Slug's Diner? Very well, replay. My skin! My skin! And just, you skip through to the highlights. Fast forward. Don't you touch me. And sometime after that. Why does anyone have seven best friends? I don't even have one shitty friend. Okay.

Junior Missions Operations Manager, Norman Bundeloy, in Ambassador Dexeter's defense, he was very high on dust. Oh, yeah. Wonderful defense, C-53. He was dusty. Doing an illegal drug is the defense of... Well, but see, it was not illegal in the diner. Uh-huh. It was illegal when I left the diner.

Yes. Yes. You left with it in your system, which is why we're having this conversation, which is why, C-53, I need you to approach Ambassador Dexeter, please. Approach Ambassador Dexeter. All right, please open slot four on your torso. Slot four. Ooh. Like a dangerous advent calendar.

And I'm going to need you to run operation six. Operation six commencing. Yep. Operation six commencing. Yep. Operation six complete. That was it? Operation six is one of my milder operations. Can I just have an operation six before bed? No, it's for punishment only.

What about if I'm thinking about you, Nermy? Can I have a little operation six? I would, um... Commencing Operation 6. No, that's... Thank you? You can only... Operation 6 complete.

It is not supposed to be... Why can't I get on and do it on the ship, but if you just, like, put it on the floor? Operation 6 commencing. Oh, yeah. Okay. Operation 6 complete. All right, Operation 6 is designed to be a mild punishment,

is not supposed to be amusing to anyone. I would do it again. I would do it again. Can you put Operation 666? Do not do Operation 666. Engaging trifle adapter. Commencing Operation 666. Operation 666, complete.

If it makes you feel any better, Nermit, that was very painful for me. That was not my fault. I ate food that was laced with it. And the only reason I left the diner was because at the time I was convinced that the only thing that would put the fire in my eyeballs out was the vacuum of space. We were also forcibly ejected from the dining room. Right. Right. After his tree branch hands ignited a pile of old menus.

Right. And those are big menus. They were very large. Those are very thick. You were basically sitting underneath a known dust up from the ceiling. You could have left that at any point. Those little dusters are obviously going to dust you out. I mean, that's a good point.

Listen, Nermit, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Okay. And if it does, you know what number operation is coming for your little belly? Is it six or is it like seven next time? No, it'll be six again. Okay. Six again? Six again? No, no, no. It was hypothetical.

Operation six. No, no, no. It was hypothetical. Operation six complete. See you next time. Protocol Droid was played by Jeremy Bend. Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship and Wink were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Sammo was played by Winston Knoll. Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermin Bundeloy and Peck the Pervert were played by Seth Lind. Lori Amper, the waitress, was played by special guest Lauren

Adams. You can see her as Gretchen Chalker in all three seasons of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix, or performing at the Upright Citizens Brigade with Rumpelteaser and The Curfew. Follow her on Twitter at I'mLordAdams. Mission to Ziggs is recorded at Ron Studios in Greenpoint, Brooklyn by

engineer Shane O'Connell. This episode edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Music by Brendan Ryan. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goice. Mission to Ziggs is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom.

Have a question for the crew? Send an email to crew at missiontoziggs.space. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and even Tumblr at Mission to Ziggs. If someone would like to show us how to Snapchat, please follow us on Instagram. It's pretty fun. Almost everyone in here does it. I don't wish to force you to try dust

out of peer pressure, but dust is great. Let's all sing the dust song. Let's do it. It makes you cool. There's a dust song? Yeah. Yeah.

One, two, one, two, three. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. Dust. dust.. it's hard to kind of it sounds a lot better when you're on dust it sounds amazing when you're on dust you know I can't do dust either

because I'm working right now