Mission To Zyxx - 108: Grt Milk? [ft. Zach Cherry]

Episode Date: October 25, 2017

The crew must close a trade deal with an esteemed dignitary. Bargie celebrates a birthday. Dar meets a hero. Pleck orders a drink. Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and The Bartender Winston Noel as The Hand of the Governor Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and The Governor’s Wife With special guest Zach Cherry as Peter3 Fab Edited by Seth Lind Recorded at Braund Studios by Shane O’Connell Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Additional music by Shane O’Connell Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

The period of civil war has ended. The rebels have defeated the evil Galactic Monarchy and established the harmonious Federated Alliance. Now, Ambassador Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission 2. Hey, Dar. Can I ask a question about your past?

Okay. I just know you had a crazy life before the Federated Alliance. So what was your specialty? How would you kill people? Oh, man. I really thought this was headed in a different direction. When you said specialty, I was game to explain to you what my specialty is. Oh, right. Okay, yeah.

But how would I kill people? You were smuggling, right? So you would get into trouble, and a you would, like, get into trouble, and, like, a ship would be like, we're gonna kill you! And you'd be like, not if I could do anything about it! And then...

Do you think that's what Darcy... Honestly, I'm just gonna say, it was like he was there. Okay, well, that's... I don't know. It's my birthday! Whoa! What?

It's my birthday, everybody, so, uh... Wow, congratulations. Happy birthday to me! How old are you, Bargy? Oh, you never ask a ship their age. You never ask a ship their age. Very rude. Very rude.

Okay, everybody gets to go around and say the one thing they love about me. Okay. It's my birthday. That's the thing you do. All right, I'll go first. I, Bargy, I love the smell that your exhaust fumes make when we're leaving a planet. It's peach cobbler. Yeah, it's really nice.

I like it. Thank you. Bargy, I've known you for... I mean, I shouldn't say how long. I don't want to date either of us. But I would have to say, you know, I don't have a lot of friends, but I would count you as a friend. Well, the summer we were on that peachy island. Oh, my. The extensions that you as a friend. Well. Yeah. Remember the summer we were on that beach island? Oh, my.

The extensions that you had that summer. What do extensions look like for a ship? Retrieving image. Oh. Oh. Extension cords, yeah. No, that makes sense. The beads on the extension cords.

Right. It's a nice touch. Thank you. You make it very attractive. Yes. Thank you. Margie, retrieving that image a moment ago reminded me that my favorite thing about you is that your file trees are extremely orderly. It's very easy to find files.

Really? Thank you. I get it tested every month. Make sure my files are clean. Spick and span? It's very important. Sure. Also, always have good jams ready for birthdays.

Oh, hey. Very catchy. Yeah. It was actually in the soundtrack of one of my movies I had. Oh, really? This is from your movie? Cholera in Space. It was with Joanna Chachasins and Goanna Goose.

Joanna and Goanna were like a classic duo. The best. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. Ambassador Dexeter, I have an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bungamoy. Hey, Nermit. Hi, Nermy. Hello.

Hey, did you know it's Barchi's birthday? It's my birthday. I did see that in the files. Um, happy, happy birthday. What's your favorite thing about me? Oh, wow. Um, you know, I think my favorite thing about you is that even though you don't know my name. Kid.

You're Kid. Even though you don't. This is pretty far away. Even though you don't know my name, I feel. Sam. Sam. Oh, no, you're not getting closer. I have faith you will eventually bring yourself to memorize it.

That's your favorite thing about Pargy? Well, I just... One day she will know your name. That's optimistic. I like it. Thank you. All right, well, thanks for calling, Nermit. Wish her a happy birthday. No, wait. I'll see you later, Nermit. Goodbye.

Actually, no, I have a couple things. Well, we have a mission, but first of all, I just want to let you know. Oh. I was talking to Kranosh in the shipping department, and unfortunately the warm bean seems to have been lost in transit, so I just wanted to see if you had it. Yeah, you know what? I think we still have the bean.

Yeah, you're sort of like on the other side of the galaxy. We thought we'll just drop it off next time we're back. Yeah. No, we need the relic. Please ship that as soon as possible. I mean, I will say it's not going to get any colder, so... I can confirm its temperature has remained constant. Yeah, we've left it in one of the Federated Alliance koozies.

The bean is more than 400 years old. They're not worried that it's going to get cooler. It's that we need the bean. Okay, sure. You'll ship the bean. Okay, sure. You'll ship the bean? Yeah, absolutely. We'll totally ship it. Absolutely. Okay.

Okay, well, we'll be sure to do that. We'll talk to you later now, Nermy. Bye. Good to see you. Good speaking with you. Junior Missions Operations Manager, Nervous Bundle. Oh, uh, receiving another transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager, Nervous Bundle. Okay, so you know that when I

call, it's generally to assign a mission? It doesn't have to be all about work, Nermit. Yeah, I thought you liked us. Yeah, I do. You guys are my favorite people in the world. You're the only people I talk to. You're the only people you talk to? No.

Of course not. I just talked to that guy in shipping. Okay, but aside... Yeah, outside of work, who do you talk to? Um, let's see. I mean, I talk to my parents. Sure. Good speaking with you, Junior Emissions Operations Manager

Nermit Bundeloy. Ambassador, have another incoming call from Junior Emissions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy. Your mission, okay? We have a mission A mission You know how you go on missions? You want to go on one of those and do your job?

That's rude Sorry, you hung up on me three times We really, it was almost positive that you were done We hung up on you twice. And it was when we felt the call had come to completion. Sure. What was the name of one of my movies?

Oh, now I have to tell you, I still own a copy of that one. Ah, so good. Boy. What's our mission, Nermin? Okay, everyone get excited. Get pumped up. Pump up. I am pumped.

You're pumped? Okay. Because this is a real deal mission, guys. This is serious. Yeah. You ready? We are going to the planet Milch. Okay.

Heard of it? No. Yes. Okay, as you know, C-53, Milch, covered in so many caverns. The caverns of Milch are quite a tourist destination. Very popular in the summer. That's true. The Milchian summer. Yeah, the Mil in the summer. That's true. The Milschen summer.

Yeah, the Milschen summer. Three tellurian years long. Are we hitting the summer? No. Are we on season? No. Incredibly, we are. It's the 12 tellurian year winter. Yes. So, yeah, bundle up, but you are going to be received by the

governor of the province that has the capital city, Milchny. Oh. Yeah, the most important governor on this entire planet is going to be receiving you because they have some sort of resource there that they want to trade with the Federated Alliance. Yeah, big time. Great. Great, let's do it.

Can I hang up now, Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundelhoff? I wouldn't wish to hang up too soon and risk your displeasure. C-53, thank you so much for asking. I think we're good. I want to try to have a good sign-off here. Yep. So, just do it. Who are you going to go talk to now? I have a lot of paperwork, but I will talk to a lot of people.

I got it. I got it. Your name is Gorge. Gorge? Gorge. That's pretty far off. Yeah. Um, alright. I'm waiting for your fun sign-off.

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Oh. Greetings. Whoa. And welcome to Milch. Hello. I'm Ambassador Plekdexeter. This is C-53 and Dar. We're here to meet with the governor.

You're covered in ice. Yes, I am covered in ice. Many greetings. I am the hand of the governor of Milch. The wind is very cold here. Sure, Yeah. Oh. Yes. But as the hand of the governor, I regretfully inform you that he has taken his leave from the main palace. Oh.

And will not be attending to you at this time. Uh. taking his leave from the main palace. Let us be attending to you at this time. Uh, okay. Well, we had an appointment with him. Oh, you had an appointment? Many have appointments with the governor of Milch. Did I get to meet with the governor of Milch?

Sure. He is abroad within the caverns. There's nothing wrong. Okay, well. And he left you behind? I'm the head of the Governor of Milch. I must attend to my duties.

I bid you farewell. Oh. Okay. Well. I get the feeling he, like, locked himself out. You think he just can't get back into the palace? Yeah, I mean, why would you stand out here without a coat? Hey, what's up?

Hey, uh... Did I hear you guys are trying to get a meeting with the governor of Milch? Really? Yeah. I advise caution. The insignia on this man's shoulder indicates that he is about to enter. Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, no big deal. Yeah, we just had an appointment, but we'll probably just

come back. Cool, cool. Same, same, same, same. Oh, you have an appointment? No, but I'm looking to talk to him, you know. I'm trying to kind of track him down. It's one of the things I'm working on right now. Wait, really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell us about it. Yeah, yeah. Well, I can't get into too much

obviously, because, um... We're not... I mean, we wouldn't tell your secrets. We wouldn't... Yeah, no, we're Tell us about it. Yeah, yeah. Well, I can't get into too much, obviously, because... We're not... I mean, we wouldn't tell your secrets. We wouldn't... Yeah, no, we're just... We're just here. Yeah, we're not like... We're super cool. I mean, the way you said that makes me think you for sure would tell my secrets.

No. Because almost any time I meet someone and they bring up secrets within the first five seconds of talking, they for sure rat me out to somebody. That's happened 100% of the time. It's just that you're not only a bounty hunter, you're, I mean, I recognize that insignia. Oh, really? Dara, you know who this guy is?

I mean, you're one of the Fab Three. That's correct. I'm one of the Fab Three. Peter Three. Nice to meet you. Whoa. Really nice to meet you. Fab Three is one of the most lethal collections of bounty hunters in the galaxy. Where did you get that?

I am a protocol and diplomatic relations droid. I'm familiar with many insignia and mercenary consortiums across the galaxy. What's this one? Well, is that not also a Fab 3 insignia? It is. I just wanted to see if you're... I just wanted to check you out. Well, yeah.

I remember you guys changed your branding a couple years back. Yeah, we had a problem with a couple of advertisements we put out that kind of, you know, targeted the wrong demographic. Sure. A lot of kids were hiring us. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's bad. So is that why you put it on your shirt?

Because you're like, now if it changes again, you just get a new shirt? Yeah. Yeah, it's quicker than tattoos. Yeah, yeah. So, wait. Sorry, I don't really know too much about the Fab Three. Are there three of you? Yeah, there's my father, my grandfather, and me.

We're the Fab Three, Peter One, Peter Two, Peter Three. Wow, that's great. Are they still around? Are they still around, meaning alive? Yeah. No. Oh. Are they still around in another sense?

Well, I mean, I carry their memories with me every day. Okay, sure. Every step of the way. Sure, sure. That's really beautiful. Yeah. You got to give props to where you came from. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally. So you're like a, I mean, you're a bounty hunter. You're like, anybody can hire you? Yeah, anybody can hire me. I mean, I'm working right now, so, you know, I'm kind of off the market. So you're on a, you're on a, you're on a hit right now. I'm working right now, so, you know, I'm kind of off the market. So you're on a hit right now. I'm hunting, yeah. You know, Peter III, we're all looking for the same, the four of us are all looking for the same guy.

I don't know what business you've got with the governor, but, like, we were just going to have a quick meeting with him. Do you think you could maybe help us find him? Oh, yeah, I'd be into that. I know where he's going to be tonight, 3 a.m. I don't normally get to work with people. I kind of lone wolf. Oh, that sounds pretty cool. That's great.

You guys want to go back to Hotel Milch? Okay. Is that the hotel you're staying at? Yeah. It's kind of my home base for the duration of my stay here. Do you check in with, like, a pseudonym? I check in with Peter 3. Really? You do?

I mean, what are people going to do? Somebody going to come up to my room? I'm scary. Nobody's hunting Peter 3. Sure. One of the best ways to not be hunted is to hunt. That's what my dad always told me. How did Peter 2

meet his demise? Peter 2 is my grandfather. Peter 1 is my father. So which do you want to know about? Yes, I'm looking for information about Peter 1. Your father. Oh, okay. Peter 1, he died at home surrounded by friends and family.

Well, that's very nice. And what about Peter 2? Peter 2, he died at home surrounded by friends and family. That's pretty good. No, we're actually pretty good. That's why we're called the Fab 3. Sure, yeah. One of the Marsha bounty hunters

was after me for a little bit. Yeah, they're hacks. Oh, they're terrible. Yeah, what happened? I'm still here. Didn't get you, obviously. Wait, did you kill that bounty hunter? No, they just never got me.

They could still be after you. I mean, good luck. I'll probably see him at a conference or something. You want me to see if they're still looking for you? I mean, they've got to be still looking for me. It was a very high price on my head. But wait, do you have to finish one job before you take the next job? Well, it depends on your contract.

You know, we're freelancers, so we can really negotiate anything. Sure. Some bloggers have a writer. Yeah, I have one of the most notorious riders out there. Oh, really? Yeah. What do you ask for? I ask for a new hat

every day. Every day? Every day of the job. I was going to say that hat looks, it's very stylish. Yeah. New.

The tags are still on it. So what if you get a hat and you're not like, it doesn't fit or it doesn't look good, do you just wear your regular hat? If I get a hat

that I don't like, I walk away from the job. Whoa, really? That's the end of the mission. I'm very explicit. Absolutely. I mean, look at the hat he's wearing now. Excellent hat. So fab refers

not only to your, uh, how good you are at your job, but also, like, how good you look. It's also our last name. Oh. Peter 1 Fab, Peter 2 Fab, Peter 3 Fab. Oh, right. Whoa, plus Ambassador De dexter i don't know if you've noticed this but there's three of them so is it just a coincidence that your last

name is three peter three is my first name okay right yeah sorry peter three is my first name peter three fab yeah peter three fab gotcha no middle name if you were wondering okay so before you came along was your was peter one and p, was Peter 1 and Peter 2 called the Fab? They were called the Fab 3. Yeah. It's just sort of been our family name going back generations. Huh. Cool. Cool, so this is Hotel Milch.

Yeah. So, uh, you want to go? Grab a drink? Sure. Yeah, cool. I know the bartender here, so... How long have you been on Milch waiting for this governor? This is my third week here. Huh.

That's not so bad. I was doing a lot of prep work, though. You know, a lot of people think being a bounty hunter is cool and always action-packed, but it's a lot of logistics. You know, you gotta... No. Yeah, it is. Really?

Yeah, you wouldn't believe. Because I would think it would be such a cool job. Well, it has its moments, but most of it's pretty boring. A lot of paperwork, a lot of, you know, looking for open hotel rooms. You gotta check your best prices, because you don't want to get price gouged. And, you know, you've got to exchange your currency when you get to a new location. It's really just a lot of logistical work. Peter 3, many of the popular holo entertainments of bounty hunter activities fail to mention much of this.

There's a lot of jumping backwards while shooting. Do you ever do that? I have done that, yeah. Have you ever thrown an igniter of some kind and had something explode behind you as you walked away from it do that? I have done that, yeah. Okay. Have you ever thrown an igniter of some kind and had something explode behind you as you walked away from it? Yeah, I have done that. I've done each of those, but only once. Have you ever been riding, like, a hover bike

and had to take down a guy in a big truck next to you? Yeah, I have done that. Okay. I have done that. Have you ever fired a laser by turning it to the side before you fired it? I have done that, yeah. I have done that. Have you ever fired a laser by turning it to the side before you fired it? I have done that, yeah. I have done that. Peter 3, is the thing that makes you the best bounty hunter that you're just really good

at finding hotel prices? I would say that's approximately 80% of it, yeah. Because then that saves you a lot of money and that lets you have access to better quality gear. You can stay on the job longer. Stay on the job longer. So you're just really good at budgets and... Well, I'm not just really good at that. That's very insulting to suggest that...

I just feel like my dreams are being shattered right now. I bet he's also good at maximizing the impact of, for example, hotel loyalty programs. He might accrue points for staying with a certain hotel. That's right. But that actually sometimes makes the jobs difficult because they don't always have the brand that you have the most points at and you're your target. So you kind of got to, then you got to work on a speeder rental. So you just got to factor in all those decisions. Do you wreck a lot of speeders?

I never wreck a speeder. That ruins your insurance rates. Oh. Yeah, so this is where the bar's at. It's on the roof? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, so this is where the bar's at. It's on the roof? Yeah. Oh. It's pretty cool.

It's very cold. Yeah, jeez. It's an outdoor bar. Hey. Oh. Well, look who it is. Holy jack and shit. Holy shit.

Wink. Do you see these guys? They're my duo. What's up, guys? Do you guys want some dust? No, no, no. We're good. Hey, listen, Peter's... Big guy, do you want... No, I do. What's up, guys? Do you guys want some dust? No, no, no. We're good. Hey, listen, Peter.

Big guy, do you want dust? No, I never use dust on the job. You've never used dust on the job? Not on the job. You should. You should dust it up. Hey, Peter 3, these are my friends Sammo and Wink. We met at Slog's Diner like a few weeks ago.

No. No, we're not your friends. No. Okay. At all. Well, we did dust together, so. We do dust with anybody. Yeah.

Do you seriously don't want some dust? No. Yeah, no, we'll just catch up with you guys later. Oh, okay. All right. All right.

Bye. They seem cool. They seem nice. I don't know. Hey, Peter Sweet, pull up the tail of this table. What do you guys want to drink? Drinks are this table. What do you guys want to drink? Drinks are on me.

What do you guys want? Oh, that's really nice. I'll have some gurt milk. Great. Peter Sweet, I've never seen you anywhere with people. Yeah, I know. It's pretty cool, right? These are my friends.

Cool. What do you guys want to drink? Do you have any power? Yep. I'll take some of that. Great. There's a plug behind you. She got it.

Okay, you, Pinky. You. Oh, um, what do you have on tap? Uh, we got gut milk. Hmm. Gut milk is good here. Yeah. Okay, I guess I'll take that.

Great. You, big guy? Uh, nothing for me. Thanks. You sure? Oh, yeah. Sure. Wait, Tara, what's wrong?

I just can't believe how lame peter three is oh we got a lot of things on tap you want to hear the list no i wanted to hear what was on tap you you took the first option you took such a long pause after that i thought that was all there was but you look so stupid after i did i just thought that was all my that was the only option. Okay, well, you already ordered. So, big guy, we got gurt milk, light beer, we got dark beer, heavy beers, black beers, light brown beers, purple beers, orange beers. Can I have an orange beer? Oh, you... I got your order.

Have a gurt milk and an orange beer. Peter's three. No, he's cool. Trust me. Yeah, okay. He's a nice guy. We're friends. You're lucky you're here with Peter 3.

I'll take an orange beer. Good choice. I'm the double. Thanks. So, Peter 3, I have a question, though, because, like, we're here to see a governor, you're here to see the governor. Like, what do you think he's in hiding from? Oh, well, he probably heard I was in town.

What does he have to be afraid of from you? Peter 3 is a bounty hunter. Yeah. And Peter III is clearly here to kill the governor. To kill the governor? Yeah, I mean, what did he think I was here to do? I don't know, he seems like such a nice guy. I am a nice guy, but I also, for work, kill people.

Oh, man, I misinterpreted this whole thing. What about this could you have misinterpreted this whole thing. What about this could you have misinterpreted? Black, I think anything we've learned today is that whatever ideas we had about bounty hunters before we met Peter III are wrong. What do you mean by that? Your job is clerical work. Well, yeah, it's clerical work plus killing. Killing takes literally one second. And then you go fill out paperwork.

And you do some of that before and after. Where's the action? Where's the sex? Well, sex is separate from my job. If you want to talk about my sex life, I'm happy to discuss it. I mean, yeah, I mean, we still got a little time till 3 a.m., so. Ambassador Dixit, you do realize he's going to kill the governor at 3 a.m.? Oh.

So if we wait till 3 a.m., the governor will be dead. I guess so. We will be unable to speak. But you guys can talk to him for, how long do you need, like five minutes? No, no, come on. What, ten minutes? No, you're supposed to kill him. He's a bounty hunter.

Well, he's also our friend. Thank you. You're welcome. So, wait, you're my friend? Yeah, I would say so. Oh, man. Yes. You know, if I kind of run through the list, you guys are

definitely top five. The three of us are in your top five friends? All three of you are for sure top five. So three of us, the bartender, who's the fifth person? One of those people. Sam. Which one? You. Aww. Sorry, Sammo.

That's alright. It's okay. I'm so dusted up right now. It's totally fine. I just want to say I'm so psyched to be surrounded by my top five friends on a night like this. All five of your best friends in one place. Oh, Peter's three hits, you know, gurt milk. And we got orange beer. And I'm sorry, buddy.

That was the last gurt milk. Yeah, that was the last Gurt Milk. Okay, that's cool. That's cool. I kind of didn't want the Gurt Milk anyway. Cool. Let me know if you need anything else. No, but I also ordered an orange beer. No, you didn't. Okay. C-53, can you... You ordered a Gurt Milk. C-53, can you play

back when I ordered an orange beer? I can't replay you ordering a Gurt Milk. No, I don't need to hear that. Gurt Milk is good here. Yeah. Okay, I guess I'll take that. Great. Okay.

So obviously you ordered something we don't have. Yep. So I'm going to go back to the bar. Okay. He's great. He seems an interesting guy. I like his face tattoo. Listen, Peter 3, I'm starting to feel a little bit nervous about this job that you've got.

Like, what would it take to convince you not to kill the governor? Well, that would require sort of an entire lifestyle change for me. So there's no going back. Don't you know who takes a job? That is a life oath. So I'd have to abandon my entire code in order to do that. You've never backed down on a job? Never backed down on a job.

I've completed all three jobs that I've ever taken. Three jobs? Well, like I said, there's a lot of paperwork that goes into it, so I usually average about... You've been a bounty hunter for 37 years! I average about 12 years per job. And you're the best bounty hunter for 37 years. I average about 12 years per job. And you're the best bounty hunter. In terms of accuracy, not in terms of volume. Are you at least going to kill him in a cool way? What I'll do is I'll offer him choices. I'll say, would you rather die by... You offer him choices?

You actually let him tick a box? That's right. There's paperwork every step of the way. So he can choose from any number of death options. Let's go to the full list. So, punching. Yep. Gunshots. Yep. Poison. Mm-hmm. Gurt milk. Death by gurt milk? Yes, death by gurt milk. Does that one just, like, open it to interpretation?

I've never actually done it before, but my understanding from the handbook is that you get them to drink. The handbook? Yes. You're required to complete three different levels of Bounty Hunters handbook before you're able to actually go out on the job. With Bounty Hunters, the only way to keep it legal and not have it just be a complete mess is to follow procedure. It's legal? Completely legal.

What are you talking about? I thought... What are you talking about? I thought... What are you talking about? Ambassador Dexter, a bounty was placed on the governor of Milchney. Peter III accepted it, and he is waiting to kill the governor. Is there something amiss in this situation? All the proper paperwork has been filed. You know, my job is not really so different than our bartender friend here.

We actually bonded over that earlier. Three handbooks. If you're going to just be standing there, can I just get an orange beer, please? What are you talking about? Excuse me. Oh, hey, it's the hand of the governor. Hello. Oh, hey.

Hello. I couldn't help but overhear that you're looking for the governor. Yes. We told you that. Yeah, we're all looking. No, but I'm winking, and I hear that you're looking for the governor. Oh. looking for the governor.

Uh. If the governor had an accident, then the hand of the governor would become the governor. Governor, I'm here for your gurt milk. Thank you. Wait, you said you were out of gurt milk?

He ordered before you. He placed his order in advance. He called me. I set it aside. But I didn't order this orange beer. That's okay. I'll dump it. No, I'll pour it out. Yeah, dump it out.

No, I'll pour it out. Pour it out. In the garbage. Yeah. Yeah. Dara, can I have some of your beer? I already drank it. But all I'm saying to everyone, yeah.

No, we get it. Yeah. Ambassador Duxeter, this may be a fix for all of our problems. Peter III can go ahead and assassinate the governor of Milch. Can he? Do you need a public notary? Uh, that will happen. You need a notary public.

Whatever. Yeah, that'll happen after the... I happen to be a notary public. Perfect. Well, then upon the assassination of the governor, the hand becomes the governor and we can speak with him. We don't even have to move. Man, it feels weird to know that someone's going to be murdered and there's nothing I can do about it. If any of us here had a hit out on them, I would want to do whatever I could to save them.

Does it matter that the governor is not a cool dude? He's not cool. is not a cool dude? He's not cool. I mean, a little, but not that much. Because ultimately, who deserves to be murdered? Anyone who I'm paid to murder. Anyone who I'm paid to murder.

There's no need to be shy. It's legal, apparently. Yes, I am the one who has employed the Sam 3 bounty hunter. It came highly recommended. Yeah, we understood. I was at a cocktail party and a friend of mine said, do you like to kill the governor? I said, no. And then he said, well, I don't know.

It was a friend recommended him. When I made the order, you asked, how did you hear about us? Because we have some targeted ads. We're trying to get a gauge on where we're getting our business. It's a very good way to expand your business. We're trying to expand into new avenues. Print media. Sure.

Print is the future. I don't know if that's... That's what everyone says. I don't know if that's true. Print is the future. So, it's 2.49. I could either go kill him and you guys wait here.

We can meet back up maybe after. Or you could come with, talk to him. Doesn't really matter to me. Ugh, man. This makes me feel weird. Ambassador Dexeter, unless we were to involve ourselves in trying to stop a legally sanctioned bounty hunt, the governor's going to die. I don't know what paper jam might stop you.

Well, no, I have a backup printer. You always bring a backup printer and also bring all your paperwork in triplicate, so that's not an issue. Yeah, I guess I don't want to interfere in a legal proceeding. Drinks for the road? Drinks. You're out of girt milk. Oh, we just got a little more.

Then yeah, I'll have some more girt milk. Great. Girt milk. You're going to get a go-gurt. Pinky, what you want? I'll take an orange beer. Okay, orange beer. And you, big guy.

Orange beer. Orange beer. All right. Go back to the bar. Because I got the order. Thanks. Yeah, wait. You know, I think we should go with you.

Let's follow you into the caverns. Yeah. Cool. All right, Peter, three gut milk for the road. Put it in a super foam cup. Thanks. And an orange beer for you, big guy. And an orange beer for you.

Thank you. Sure. Went off without a hitch. Why? What do you mean? It just seemed like I was never going to get a drink. What are you talking about? Because I didn't get my Gertrude Millicore orange beer last night.

Once? You just threw my beer in my face. You insulted him. You're complaining that was my last orange beer. You were kind of accusing him of singling you out. You didn't get what you ordered once. And you acted like that just defines my bar. Shame on you.

A little rude. You're banned. Banned? Banned from this bar. Banned. In the Mills Hotel. Yes. I was thinking about maybe we'd come back here after. Okay. You're friends with Peter Free. You can't come back once. Okay. Because you're so obsessed with when things happen one time. Come back once. You can come back once. Okay. Because you're so obsessed with when things happen one time.

Come back once. Bye. Go back to the bar. I don't know why he says that every time. I'm going back because someone might order from the bar. We know that. Okay. You're a bartender.

Well, that two-headed monster is barfing. Anyone want duds? Okay, you guys want some more duds? No, we're good, we're good. We're about to see someone get assassinated. Oh, cool. Do you guys want to come? Yeah, man, I want to see an assassination on duds.

No, please don't. No, don't. Yeah, we'll come, we'll come. No, don't. I don't want you to come. No, I don't want you to come. It'll be fun. I got a family size speeder, so.

Yeah! Man, listen. Maybe we should just head back to the ship. Did not meet with either governor? I just feel like we got in the middle of like a weird situation. Ambassador Dexeter, use your head. Talk to one of the governors. Yeah, but see, I don't want to get mixed up in this.

We're either going to talk to a governor who just killed one governor, or we're going to talk to a governor who is then immediately killed. Ambassador Dexeter, do you not have the stomach for diplomatic work? Is that what this is? Yes. We're meeting with the legal governor who legally paid Peter III to assassinate the existing governor. All right. It's all above board.

Totally illegal. Hello. Hello again. Are you getting on? Yes, yes I'm getting on I just wanted to assure you that The Federated Alliance

All hail the Federated All hail the Federated Can rest assured That most will still Trade with them We're a valuable resource. Ice. Oh.

Is that what the Federation Alliance hoped to gain from Milch? Frozen water, yes. It's their only export. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Okay. The ice. Although, to be taken off planet might melt the ice, but it's still...

Sure. We can keep the ice cool. Yeah, we have a refrigerator. Very well, very well. Oh, yeah. In fact, we have something for you. Speaking of... Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's... Speaking of keeping things cool... Here is a Federated Alliance koozie. Good for her. Orange beer? Yep. Curd? Milk?

Very good. It's just one koozie. Yes. Yeah, well, it's more of a token. It's not really my kind. We'd also be paying you for the icing, I guess. The governor is dead! Oh, jeez.

His horrific wife. Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, I just need you to fill out this form first. Okay. How would you like his body to be handled? Just, like, put it into the ice. That's the first option. There's a whole list if you want. Okay, great.

We'll put him in the ice. I need your initials on here. I'm asking you guys so you can probably... Yeah, I guess... I'm sorry for your loss. Hey, Peter 3, before we go... Yeah? How did you do... You were on the elevator with us. How did you do that? I have my ways.

That's the thing you're going to be mysterious about? He's very mysterious. That was... Oh, man. He died of old age. Surrounded by his friends and loved ones. What? Wait, wow. He died of old age?

Yeah, that's one of the options on the list. That's one of your options? Yeah. That's the last one on the list. Most people choose that. I met with him last night and he filled out his half of the paperwork. I mean, I guess I feel a little bit less weird because that would have happened anyway, right? Why would this be any less weird?

Peter III killed this man. According to the law, I did kill him. Yes, the law says that I did kill him and therefore I would also have to marry the governor's wife. Which is fine because we've been in love this entire time. It was definitely a major factor in the killing. I'm so happy. I'm crazy about you. Thank you.

We should go. We should go. We should go. Stay. Do stay. No, thanks. We're making dinner later. No, no, we're good.

We're good! All right, I'd be happy to come swing by. What are you making? Soup! Oh, never mind. Attention! Attention, attention, rebels. This is your favorite leader, Rolfus Tittle,

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guarantee. 100%. If you don't love your first pair, you get a full refund. And if you order now you get 20% off your first pair, plus free shipping. Are you kidding me with this deal? Go to MeUndies.com slash Zix. Z-Y-X-X for that special offer. That's MeUndies.com slash Zix. Roll for a tittle in an oh-so-comfy jewel pouch. Signing off.

Hey, Nermit. Hey, so I didn't have a chance to read any logs, so how did it go on Milch? Great. The ice trade is secure. Amazing. So did you figure out what the resource is? Because they would only communicate to us in code and say the resource was, quote, ice. So what did it turn out it was? Ice.

Oh. Ice. Oh, no, yeah, it's frozen water. They said explicitly it's frozen water. Well, I know that's what ice is, but what's their precious resource they wanted to be with the Federated Alliance? No, it's definitely ice. What did you think it was going to be? Diamonds or...

No, it's ice. That's worthless. That's on any planet that's floating around in space. Why would they try to trade that? I don't know. You sent us there. Yeah, you sent us there. It was not part of our mission to assess the worth of the ice. So you told the governor, sorry, but we're not

interested and good luck. Nermit, the governor of, but we're not interested in good luck or... Nermit, the governor of Mil-Schnu is dead. What? Yeah, the hand of the governor. He replaced the governor after the governor was assassinated. And also had the governor assassinated. Around family and people who loved him. This happened while you were there?

Yeah. Guys, I detected ice on board, so I made some drinks. Hey! Happy birthday to me! It's my birthday. See you then. Outro protocol. were all played by Mujan Sulfagari. The Hand of the Governor and Sammo were both played by Winston Knoll. Peter 3, Fab the Bounty Hunter, was played by special guest Zach Cherry. Zach has appeared in fun things like Search Party

and Crashing and Spider-Man Homecoming. And you can see him at the Upright Assistance Brigade Theater with Goat. Mission to Six is recorded at Bronze Studios in Greenpoint, Brooklyn by engineer Shane O'Connell. This episode edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Music by Brendan Ryan. Thank you. They have email. Send an email to crew at mission to six dot space. If you're enjoying Mission to Six, please consider leaving a rating interview on Apple Podcasts or iTunes. If you dislike the podcast, please write your review on a small piece of paper and insert it into the flap or shoot of your choosing.

Got a lot of things on tap. You want to hear the list? No, I wanted to hear what was on tap. You took the first option. You took such a long pause after that. I thought that was all there was. But you looked so stupid after it. I am desperately trying to figure out how to label you as Mike Tyson right now. I am really, really, really, really

like, I'm like, do I bring up homing pigeons or the face tattoo? Yeah, we have lots of things on tap but you clearly wanted that one.