Mission To Zyxx - 118: The Delegator [Season One Finale]

Episode Date: January 3, 2018

Episode 118: The Delegator [Season One Finale] Nermut gets a promotion. Featuring: Jeremy Bent Alden Ford Allie Kokesh Seth Lind Moujan Zolfaghari Winston Noel Edited by Seth Lind Recorded at Braund Studios by Shane O’Connell Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade and Finale Art by Eric Geusz Huge thanks to everyone who has listened to our first season!

This is SeaRed IT5 with an announcement. The following episode is the Season 1 finale of Mission to Zix. Thank you for listening. The period of civil war has ended. The rebels have defeated the evil Galactic Monarchy and established the harmonious Federated Alliance. Now, Ambassador Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission 2. I mean... All right, do I look good? Do I look good? Does this look good? I mean, Parji, you look great. Thank you very much. I mean, your floors are shiny.

Thank you. All your buttons are lighting up. Gotta look good trying to get back into that game, you know what I mean? I think this is gonna be good. Okay, ready? All right. Press the record inside of me. Okay, and we are rolling

hello i am budgerian jade i uh am reading for the role of rock number five great you you started off oh sorry i've never been this deep in the mine. There's some rock banging around. It's one of these five rocks for sure. I better break all of them with my vibro-axe. Bing, bing. And scene. Thank you very much. Again, my name is Bajerian Jade.

If you're interested in hiring me, I'm a very big, big fan of all of this. So, unrepresented and currently no agent. Thank you. Bajerian, I think that went really well. I didn't seem desperate, right? Do you think they're casting for minor number two? Like, do I look like a guy who could be in a mine? Absolutely not.

Now, I'm going to interrupt you before your fantasies get too out of control. Okay. I'm pleased to present to you the new C-53. Do I look well, Ambassador Dexator? Oh, wow. C-53, you look great. You fixed your leg. Well, I attached a swivel caster to a stick.

I think it looks great. Now you can get around a little better. Well, I still have a bit of a hobble. Sure. I'll admit, I'm a bit self-conscious. No, C, you absolutely don't have to feel that way. Yeah, you look great. Oh, I feel I look quite shabby.

No, no, C-53, you look like you're ready to get out there and do some diplomatic relations, you know? You know what, C, just, why don't you take a lap? Why don't you just take a lap and test out that new peg leg? Yeah, test out that caster. All right. Plek, can I speak to you for a second? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up? I feel incredibly responsible for how pathetic C looks right now.

No, I mean, it's very pathetic. But in, like, a cute way? No. No. He doesn't belong in that tiny TM model. Oh, Dart, you can't blame yourself for what happened back on Clonk. You liberated him, in a way, from the shackles of, like, a perfectly functioning... Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Very strong... Stop making me feel better. He's back. It took me a little longer than I thought to get around the ship. What? No, you were lightning speed. You were so fast, buddy.

You could take on... I think you could take on the whole Zix quadrant in that frame. You're so kind, Ambassador Dexter. It feels like you kind of came up from, like, the mean streets. Okay, pull it back a little bit. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, it sounds weird. Now I was made by the wrong, the Cybernetics

Corporation. Sure, right, yeah. It's a good thing you have a universal cube, though. That's true. One of the great advantages of the C-Series is that the cube is highly adaptable. Wait, what? What happens if you put your cube in me? Bargy?

Do you have a cube port, Bargy? I do. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Bargy, do you have a cube? No, I'm the ship. Okay, I thought so. Bargy's artificial intelligence is suffusing the very ship.

The ship wouldn't run without her. Sure, yeah. But with every ship, there's a cue port for friendship. Yeah. Friendship? It's like, I don't know, when you're old, the world looks like having a voice inside of your head. Oh, wow. Well, I mean, see if you're through. You want to try out Bargy's cue port?

I mean, if her barge is all right. Yeah, why not? Let's have fun. All right. I guess let me take out your cube then. Thank you very much. Okay. Uh, yes. I don't trust that play. Hey, Varji, when is your next cleaning session?

It could be now or later. Try to hold off on it for the next, like, I don't know, 15 seconds before we transfer this cube. Dara, do you want to take it out? I don't want to touch the cube anymore. I can take it out. Alright. I'm gonna take it out in I don't want to touch the cube anymore. I can take it out. All right. I'm going to take it out in a rather unconventional way. Please don't judge me.

Oh. Whoa! That is prehensile. And into the cube slot. That was very gentle, Dara. Thank you. Oh, C53. Hi. Whoa!

Welcome to my world. This is a rather novel experience being part of the ship. This is rad. Can I... Do you have, like, a Tellurian port? No. Okay. Gross.

Gross. Gross. Gross. Very gross. I just like the idea of, like... Do you really want to stick your Rangus Dangus in something that badly? Okay. First of all, the Rangus Dangus.

And secondly... To differentiate from all the other Rangus Danguses out there. See? I love this. Oh, man. This is fun for me. I've got to be honest with you. Okay.

So, C-53, now that you and Bargy are sort of like in the same place, can you describe what it's like to be a ship? Well, I have greater sensor capabilities than I do on most droid frames. Wow, you can see a very long way, can't you, Bargy? It also has access to all of my memories. Whoa! Many of these are powerfully erotic. Oh, you are so lucky.

I am enjoying this immensely. So what do you think I should do about that memory, huh? Right? What do you think? Bucky, were I you, I would send them a message and clear the air. We don't even have to use voice. Let's just grunt it out. Sure.

Oh. Hey, Dara, you want to try that? Should we just, like, stare into each other's eyes and see if we can communicate? Like, have a deep conversation? Yeah. Come here, Plek. Come real, real close. Okay.

Closer. Very close. Closer. Very close. Ow! Ow! That was... I guess I was sort of asking for that.

Now, what did I communicate to you with my eyes in that moment, Plek? Well, you didn't communicate with your eyes that you were about to stomp on my foot, but then you did. Ambassador Dexeter, I have an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Vandelaar. Oh, great. Hey, Nermit, what's up? Hi, Nerm. Whoa. What? What are you doing? You are assuming a highly victorious pose. Nermit, what is happening? What are you doing? You are assuming a highly victorious pose. Nermit, what is happening?

What's going on? I am being promoted directly to Senior Missions Operations Manager. Can you believe it? I can't. How is that possible? That's amazing. No, I cannot believe it. Yeah.

See? Senior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundle, you should know that that is a highly unusual practice. They said literally in the form, they said, this is a highly unusual practice. Great. It seems like it checks out. Look, I'm going to hold up the document. See, this is legit. Yeah.

Hey. Congratulations, man. I knew it was always going to happen for you. Oh, thanks for having faith. I don't think it's going to go to my head either. Like, I'm going to be the guy who's like totally cool with all the junior missions operations managers. We're going to like hang out. Totally. Yeah. Oh, man. I'm going to go to my head either. I'm going to be the guy who's totally cool with all the Junior Missions Operations Managers. We're going to hang out.

Oh man, I'm going to sign this. I'm supposed to report to the sub-basement 21. I guess that's where the promotions happen. So yeah, sub-basement 21 at 0425. That's sort of the middle of the night there. basement 21 at 0425. That's sort of the middle of the night there.

That's when your promotion is? That's when the promotion's happening. It's crazy. This is a new world. I mean, this is Senior Missions Operations Management. This is new, man. These guys are up at the crack of dawn managing. Yeah. Well, congratulations, man. Wait, does this mean that you're still gonna be our operations

manager? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean you're still going to be our operations manager? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, you guys are coming with all the way to the top. Yeah. Wow. All right. Must we become a senior ambassadorial team?

Let's see. Yes! It says that. Oh, man. How did this happen? This is amazing. I don't know. They must have figured out how valuable we are.

I always knew it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. They're not used to good news. Bargy, get used to it. I mean, Bargy, man, think about this. If you submit that audition for Rock No. 5 as a senior ambassadorship...

I could be Rock No. 1. Yeah. Yeah. Sky's the limit. I will put in a good word. After 0425, I'm going to have some clout. Oh, man. Guys, I don't know how this happened, but we are just moving right up.

Okay. Focus, focus. Senior Missions Operations Manager, Nervin Bundeloy. Sounds good, doesn't it? As an ass mom, you get to choose our mission from a number of options. There should be a list of them in front of you now. Yeah, I think you're right, but there's only one. I mean, honestly, the promotion hasn't technically happened.

This is probably the last one where they just send us, and then we're going to have endless options. So, wow. It's a vacation atoll. What does that mean? It's like a place people just go for fun. Vacation atoll, one. That sounds good.

First one? The first one. And you're meeting with the fun-bassador. Look at this photo of her. Oh yeah. You know what? I usually say bad things about a lot of people, but she's great. She's fun. Her name is Funtasia Fun-Fun. Funtasia

Fun-Fun? Funtasia Fun-Fun. She is alright. If you ever want to have a good time, that's when you have a good time. Fantasia Fun Fun is the fun ambassador of Vacation Atoll 1, and your job is to just go hang out, question mark, exclamation point, and then look at this. There's just like a picture of fireworks. Oh, man.

This is crazy. I am liking this senior ambassador work. Send over the coordinates, and we will see you on the other side, buddy. Here they come. Woo! Well, hey, don't sleep through your alarm. No, no, no. Oh, good point. Let me set that.

Talk soon, Nermy. Talk soon. Have a good one. All right. Man, this feels good. We are in so much jucking trouble. Ambassador Dexter, I should inform you that we have until 0425 to save Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermy by theoy before he is summarily executed.

What are you talking about? Does it seem suspicious to you at all that Nermin Bundeloy, a Junior Missions Operations Manager with no small measure of failure, has suddenly rocketed to the position of Senior Missions Operations Manager? Well, I will say this. He's a very nice guy. He is terrible at his job, and we are equally bad at ours. Yeah, you're not wrong about that. Well, when you say it like that it sounds a little suspicious yeah yes that's the version that sounds suspicious ambassador dexeter since leaving my original droid frame and hence no longer being affected by my restraining bolt i have been making

preparations to leave the federated alliance what i thought you hated the rebellion ambassador dexeter are you not aware to the depths at which a restraining bolt can affect the psychology of a droid? I guess not. I've established fake identities for us that will allow us to defect and join the rebellion. C-53, this is crazy. Can we

do that? Of course we can. And see, you don't have to create a fake identity for me. Dar is a fake identity. Well played. Dar, you seem very chill about all of this. Is this what you wanted all along? Of course it was.

I never wanted to work for the Federated Alliance. They forced me to. Ambassador Dexeter, you should know that the Federated Alliance is considered quite lame by most of the galaxy. Oh. Consider what our missions have been. Oh. Yeah, it might be Nemesis. Well, I don't know if that was the alliances. Hmm. Confessation. Well, I don't know if that was the alliance's. And now C-53 knows how it feels. Oh, this is deeply unpleasant.

Mm. Mm-hmm. Well, hey, guys, listen. I got to level with you. When I joined the Federated Alliance, I did it for one reason. I wanted to be a hero. And, you know, maybe the alliance is not so great. After all, maybe they're no better than the Monarchy.

I'm really starting to realize that if I'm going to be a hero, I really need to take matters into my own hands, you know? This is our moment, guys. C-53, Bargy, Dar. You know, you can use your talents for making a difference in this world. We can do this together, huh? We can go save Nermit's life and go be heroes. Let's do this. Who's with me?

Plek, we're already 30 seconds away from the delegator. Oh, okay. Ambassador Dexir, I jumped to hyperspace the moment I told you the situation. Great. Yeah, no, that's great. I just wanted to make sure you guys knew that I was on board. Because I am. We're glad you're on board. But it wouldn't have mattered. Okay.

We would have had to eject you into space. What? No! I was sliding out. We're still in if you, what happens if you eject somebody in hyperspace have you never

seen the videos no no I'm not I'm not into that if only we had the time because those videos are very fun to watch To be continued... Delegator. Hailing rogue ship. Yep. Hi. What is your Federated Alliance identification?

Give him your fake fake. Give him your fake fake. I'm submitting my fake right now. That's a good fake. Thank you. It's real. Well, I will allow you to board the vessel. You will notice that the Delegator is the pride of the Federated Alliance.

Sure, yep. One of the most incredible ships we have at our disposal. Oh, yeah. And from it we run all of our missions operations, as well as many of our clints reside here. Oh, yeah. Should anything happen to this vessel, the Federated Alliance would feel a crippling blow.

Hmm, yep. Is that part of every entry space? If anything happened to this vessel, the Federated Alliance would feel a crippling blow. Hmm. Yeah. Is that part of every entry sequence? I say that to everyone who comes in. Why wouldn't I? It's an incredible ship. And it's true. Seems a bit like you don't want to keep that information secret. No, it's just this is an amazing ship.

And honestly, if anything should happen to it, the Federated Alliance would suffer a crippling... Nothing I've said is a lie. No, that's true. It's good that you're telling the truth. Yeah, this is a great start to the tour. It's not that it's a lie. It's just rather too much information to just be handing out. This is our urchin droid.

Yes, why do you have an urchin droid? Uh, we... We're actually... A gutter rat of a droid. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is, uh. Oh, I'm just, I'm just supposed to shine shivers. Yes. Yep.

Well, it's a good thing that your Federated Alliance identification code worked out. Otherwise, should anything happen to the ship, it would be a great blow. Indeed. Yep, yep. Oh, just between you and me, this ship was designed by Swag Tembui. Oh. Wow. He's a...

Need I say more? Yeah. I mean, great. Yeah. Great design. Welcome, and I hope you don't find our credible vulnerability. Oh, certainly not. I wouldn't even look for it.

Not interested. If you did, it would be a crippling blow to the Federated Alliance. I think we sort of processed that information. Welcome aboard, the Delegator. Okay. Wait, what does that mean? Okay. This ship is huge I mean I think I think of Bargy as being a big ship But there's only one Bargy

There's only one Number one What are those Ships all crowded around over there? That's Tiny Toots. No kidding. Yep. Tiny Toots? Yep, there she is.

It's Tiny Toots. She's huge. Yep, she's big and beautiful and clean. How much is that work done? So much work. She's worked on so much work. That's how original. You guys are the best. You guys are great.

You know what, Margie? I don't like Tiny Toons either. She seems like kind of a jerk. Yeah. That seems like fake laughter. That's kind of like the laughter a ship would do if she was trying to tell other people how happy she was. She's all about that persona. I'm having such a good time.

Yeah, exactly. I'm having such a good time. Oh, wow. Yeah, he really called that. I bet the people inside of her just hate her. I'm fine. I'm a flying ship. I might not be as big as she is, or still have a career.

Oh, Barge is right, though. The people who are on Tiny Toots are also here. That means Turkmanicate. Yeah. Alright, guys. I've got a great idea. We put handcuffs on Dar

and we pretend we're bringing her to the prison bay. Then we walk around, you know, sort of aimlessly until we find Nermit on this enormous ship and then dot dot dot, we win. Like, I'm glad you're on our side

but you've got to know that's the worst plan I've ever had in my life. It seems like it would work if we just did it with confidence. Why would we do it? I know where Nermin is. Yeah, and we were just planning on entering the Delegator like everyone does. On a tour of the Delegator.

Okay, yeah. So no handcuffs then? No, thank you. Why would we handcuff our best fighter? No, you're right. It seemed like a better idea in my head. All right. All right, well, Barjee, let's open the door.

Let's go give it a shot. Get down on the ground. Okay. Get down on the ground. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you guys want a tour?

Do you guys want a tour of the delegator? We're here for the tour of the delegator. We're here for the tour. Oh, great. Cool. Well, the delegator was... How do we get up off the ground? Oh, yes, yes.

Everyone get off the ground. Wait, hold on a second. I'm sorry. What? If we weren't here for the tour, what would that look like? Oh, I'd blast you. No, but I mean, certainly people are here for work. Well, sometimes I'll say this.

The Rebellion spies everywhere. Huh. Oh, no, not rebellion spies. I thought the rebellion was just a story we told to children to scare them. We caught a few spies occasionally. Really? Yeah. You must be very clever to catch spies.

Well, I'm not going to brag, but I'm kind of the alpha on the delegator. Of all the Clint's on the delegator, you're the alpha. Don't tell anybody. What an honor. What an honor. We would never. No, but I'm sort of the guy who catches spies. Sure. Let me ask you, how do you determine a spy from a regular member of the Federated Alliance?

Well, that's a great question. Two things. One, I ask a question, are you a spy? Sure. And if they answer in the affirmative, then they are a spy. They get the old blaster. Sure, that's a good bet. And if they don't, then I'll kind of say,

well, I've got my eye on you. And then I look to see if they do any spy-type stuff. And most of the time they don't. And sometimes I lose them. What's spy-type stuff? You know, like taking pictures and asking questions about the delegator. No, that sounds sort of more like tourist stuff.

Well, then I've killed many tourists. All right, if you walk with me this way, I'll show you the commissary. Oh, great. Cool. Fascinating. You know, what's your call sign? 5534. 5534. Yeah. Great. I think the 5, what's your call sign? 5534. 5534.

Yeah. Great. I think the 5,000s were a solid crop of clints. I'm so glad you said that. And honestly, a lot of alphas in there. Oh, well, I mean, there's... A lot of sort of sub-alphas, but, like, I think the best got to be in there. I'm totally with you.

And our faces are less... Punchable? Yeah. Yeah, totally. Wow, I like you guys. You kind of get us. That's pretty cool. 5534, we know you have to take us on

this beta route of the tour. I know as an alpha, but you really want us to give us like the cool Oh, I'd love to take you guys on the alpha tour. Oh, we would be honored to go on the alpha tour. We want to see the guys on the alpha tour. Oh, we would be honored to go on the alpha tour. We want to see the guts of the delegator.

Do you guys want to go to the sub-basements? Now we are talking. What sub-basement do you want to go to? Let's just pick a random number. Yeah. Cool. 21? As random as any other number.

Oh, wow. That's the execution and incineration sub any other number. Oh, wow. That's the execution and incineration sub-basement. Yeah. Great choice. Okay, great. Cool. Oh, wow. That's, I mean, what are the other ones for?

Some of them is plumbing. Some of it's like electricity. One of them is just miscellaneous. All right. Let's keep going to to Subbasement 21. Yes, sure. You guys are alpha tourists. I love it. I'll tell you this much.

That place is crawling with plants and enforcer droids. A lot of big things. It's pretty heavily guarded. Really? Wowee. I've sent many tourists there that I thought were spies. Sure, sure. Alright. Sorry, sure. All right.

Sorry, did you say enforcer droids? Yeah, big ol' enforcer droids. They have turret lasers for hands and they have sharp spikes that come out of their hands.

And you didn't hear it from me, but they're cube compatible. So that's pretty great. Oh, really? Universal cube? Yeah. Pretty great. Well, I'm really telling

you guys a lot, aren't I? I mean, hey. Because you're the best. You're the alpha. You're Pretty great. Well, I'm really telling you guys a lot, aren't I? Because you're the best. You're the alpha. You know exactly what's going on. Yeah, I'm just a good tour guide. You are a great tour guide. You're being a really great tour guide. Yeah. Hello. Welcome to

the slow. I am an enforcer toy. Oh, whoa. Show me your feet. Right here. Right here. Wow, these things are enormous. This is a good fate. Hello. Hello, Clint. How are you today? Yeah, we're good. Enforcer droid, these guys are with me.

They're part of the tour. They decided to come see the sub-basement. The food at the commissary is not very good. That was a joke. Wow, I like these enforcer droids. They are chill. Do you like pancakes? I love pancakes.

Show me your face. Yeah. Uh, five, five, three, four, if you don't mind, I think I might just hang out with these droids for a bit, just get to know each other and like a droid to droid man.

Right, I think that's totally fine. Well, you two come with me. Sure, sure. Actually, oh, look, there's another garrison to cleanse. Oh, wow, hey. Hey, sure. Oh, wow. Hey. Hey. Hey. Actually, I'm really great.

Well, I'm actually boarding on Fantastic Two. It's not a competition, guys. Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure. While they're distracted. It's dark back here. Okay, we have to, sure, sure. While they're distracted, please. It's dark back here. Okay, we have to find Nermit. I mean, all right. Which of these different-sized cells would Nermit be inside of?

I mean, I'm going to venture a guess. The smallest ones? Is that what you meant? Yep, that is exactly what I meant. You know, Dar, it's really fun being down here, just the two of us. I feel like a lot of the time there's a mission to do. This is not the time to come on to me, Plek. No, that is not.

No, that's not what it's about. I'm just saying it's really great to be on an adventure with you. I usually feel like sometimes, mostly it's like C I'm just saying, like, it's really great to be on an adventure with you. You know, like I usually feel like sometimes it's like mostly it's like C-53. It's like stick to the mission or like, you know, some native species of a planet is like, I'm going to infect your blood. But it's just great. It's just you and me in this dark hallway. When you say it like that, Plek, it is astounding to me that you didn't pick up on how weird it was that we were getting a promotion. Yeah. Yeah, the idea of going to a vacation planet after all of our

blood has been infected. You really can't boil down every mission to a native species. Infecting our blood. Infecting our blood. That happened on three different planets. It did. Yeah, the six quadrants sort of sucks, right? It is the ass end of space.

Yeah. I'll pilot Hark Tardigas with what surely will be my final communique. I'm barely balancing on just a single inch of rock as this lava flow rushes me into a rocky cave. Oh, no. The walls are like spikes. I'm doomed. Wait, what's this? It can't be. What? It's a monarchy fighter. A pilot must have stashed it here while waiting out the battle of Sis 2. But surely its power matrix has long since destabilized. Oh, baby, she runs! Ha ha ha! Tardigast, back in action!

Woohoo! This is Rebel Pilot Hark Tardigast, en route to rejoin squadron. I repeat, Hark Tardigast returning to squadron. I'm about to escape the gravity of this hellish planet, and after that I shall not return. I never lost hope. I always knew that I would survive to fight on against the loathsome Federated Alliance alongside my fellow rebel... Oh no, there goes my main thruster. There's no way to maneuver.

This is Rebel Pilot Hark Tardigas. I've just ejected from a commandeered monarchy fighter. Adrift in deep space in a failing stasis pod. Send help, or this will surely be my last message. Hark Tardigas, signing off. Let's see. I just want to thank my parents, who their lack of belief in me, I think, made me. I just want to thank.

I'm so excited to accept this honor. No. Nerman. Nerman. Nerman. Nerman. Huh? Plagg?

What are you doing down there? Dar? We're on the other side of this tiny little door. Oh, I knew this was a prank. Oh, that's so cool. You guys are here. What little door. I knew this was a prank. Oh, that's so cool. You guys are here. What do you mean you knew this was a prank? Well, I'm chained up, but it's a weird way to go into a promotion, and I knew it was like a distraction because they were bringing you guys here for the ceremony.

No, Nermit. They're about to incinerate you. No, no, no. I'm getting a promotion, remember? Are you still under the impression, even after being in this cell, that you are still going to get a promotion? I memorized it. I'm planning my speech. Dara, you should probably tear the door off this cell.

All right. Whoa! I can't believe that worked. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Nermin, listen, listen. We're here to save you. What? Get inside this flap quickly and let's get out of here.

I'm sorry that this is how you have to experience my flaps for the first time. I definitely thought it would go a very, very different way. Hey, what are you doing? Hey, you're down on the ground. Oh, wow. That is a lot of clenched. You're down on the ground. Oh, boy.

Dar? Yeah? If I don't make it, tell Bargy her hole is shiny. What are you doing? Here goes nothing. Oh, he's got a stick? What is that? It's a wood saber.

It's pretty similar. Keep it fresh. Okay. Okay. It's a enough space. Ah! Don't surround me with the fence. Ah! Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Dara, did you see that? Yeah, I shot everybody. Oh. I brought the ion gun. But I feel like part of it was that I was using my wood saber while you... Shooting everybody. But you...

Okay, okay, but... While you danced out there begging to be shot. Sure, but I'm just saying they didn't shoot me, which is like... Which is a small miracle. Well, it's not the miracle. It's the space, maybe. You know what? The space is real. Now, we have to get out of here.

Okay, alright, yep, let's go. Let's get out of here. Okay. Okay. Uh, Jack. Jack. Fleck. I just want you to know that I had a really good time being on this team. And as much

as I wanted to hate every second of it, I really came to think of all of you as my family. And Plek, it is amazing they've allowed us this much time to talk without firing on us, but I

actually don't think you're awful. Dar, that really means a lot. Now let's go get shot. Ambassador Texter, Dar, I have a pair of Gatling turbo lasers that might be relevant to this discussion. C-53?

Ah! Ah! Hey! This is rad! It turns out enforcer droids are extremely easy to hijack. Oh, wow. This is what happens when you cut quarters on artificial intelligence. Sure.

C-53, listen. We got Nermit. He's inside DAR. Sure. C-53, listen, we got Nermit. He's inside DAR. Hey, C-53! It was awkward, but sort of feels like we've been building to this the whole time. I'm asking the deck center. They're locking down the sub-base. I advise that we return

to the docking bay as soon as possible. Oh, boy. I don't know how we're gonna get back there. We're gonna run into a bunch of dudes, right? Highly likely, yes. I don't know how we're going to get back there. We're going to run into a bunch of dudes, right? I'd like to, yes. Guys, can I come out? No. I don't think it's safe, Mervyn. I know all these rooms from when I was looking for where my interview was,

so I drew a pretty good map on my belly. Is that what those lines were? Yeah. If you eject me, you can look at my belly map. You know what? Just describe it to us. We don't have time for this. There's no time because you have to pass through a chute and I'm just not in the mood right now. Nobody wants that.

I'm going to just hit on his headlamp and okay, so... Don't have a lot of time, Nermit. Okay, alright, so if you're faced the way I think you are, you're going to see there's a blue door up ahead, right? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to go through 17 of those doors.

In a straight line? In a straight line, go. Once you get through there, there's going to be a ladder. It's not going to be big enough for Dar. We're still working on the doors. Okay. We will let you know when we need our next direction. If the first direction

is 17 doors in a row, we're just going to do that. And you're sure there are no shortcuts? Oh, you want it the fastest way? Yes. But it's not with you. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go up.

If you've gone through one, two, three doors, look up. There's a hatch. I've gone through six doors at this point. Oh, okay. There's a hatch in every room. Just go up it. We only have to go through one door? You can go through a hatch at any time.

I assume you want the coolest way. No! I'm still putting it through my head that they were going to kill me. Okay, hatch. Okay, yeah, go up through the hatch. Now we would theoretically be on sub-basement 20. You're on sub-basement

20. You're going to go up 19 hatches. Before we do this, is there an elevator? The elevator could be full of glints. But yeah, of course there's an elevator. Well, it just seems like that would save a lot of time. Okay, so you're gonna go through two blue doors. Okay.

Alright, see the elevator? Yes. Okay. That's sort of all we were looking for. Does this go straight to the docking bay? Hang on, let me look at my belly. Yeah, it pushed floor DB. Docking bay. Right, sure.

Yeah, whatever. It's a coincidence. What does it stand for? It stands for D level. It was supposed to be D level. It's a misprint. So it should say DL. Yeah. But is D level at least for dockinglevel. It's a misprint. I should say D-L. Yeah.

But is D-level at least for docking level? It's stopping and dining. Oh. Oh, the commissary does all the same. That's true. That's true. Where is Bargy? Impressive.

Oh. Commander Voltar. Yes, it's me, Commander Voltar. From before. Did we do something that pleased you in some way to earn your applause? No, that was a sarcastic clap. Oh. Oh. Can we hear it again?

Just do it. I think you could go either way on that clap. Yeah. Well, I'm the one who claps, so I know what I... I'm the one who claps, so I know... You're on the outside of an artist. Oh, yeah. Except for interpretation.

I will say, if we hadn't been looking at your face, we would never know if that was sarcastic or very impressed. You're just slow. Well, why wouldn't you be looking at my face? My face is showing you volumes right now. Well, you started clapping before we knew you were at my face. But to not see my face would take most of the experience away. Yeah, it would be extremely disappointing.

You'd have to rely on your own imagination about what I looked like. I mean, yeah, I wouldn't even begin to know. Do you want to know the reason why I was clapping? Sure. Because I'm impressed with you, Brayden the Delegator. And you, boy, pink one. Yeah, well. You seem to have the space about you.

Thank you for saying that. I actually do. I happen to be well on my way to being a Zima warrior. Oh, boy. Well, Zima warrior, you think you've won, don't you? You think you're so smart and brave. Well, we haven't won yet. No, you haven't.

No, you haven't. Because as soon as you try to leave the delegator on your ship, the Council of Seven will remotely detonate it and everyone on board. So. Wait, what do you mean? Every ambassador ship in the Federated Alliance has a bomb on it that the Council of Seven can detonate. We will always win. We are better.

We are stronger. We have the power of best friendship behind us. You will never win. None of you can win. You, pink boy with the space. You, giant thing with an ion cannon. And you, giant robot that's very deadly now.

You might have, and also you, little, what are you? You're a little little. I'm Wink. Oh my gosh. Wink? And I'm Sammo. What are you guys doing here? Take him out, Wink.

Yummy. Oh, it's horrible. Wink just ate Commander Voltor's face. Do you guys want some? You guys want some of the face? That was horrible. Hi, guys. Hi, guys.

Sam and Wick, what are you guys doing here? We're reading sentences. Guys, we're spies for the Rebellion. We're spies for the Rebellion. Big old time Rebellion spies. How is that possible? What do you mean how is anything possible? How is that possible? The amount of dust you guys, how is anything possible? How is that possible?

The amount of dust you guys do. Yeah, you guys are just dusted up constantly. Dust makes us fun. Yeah, dust makes us fun. I'm not denying that. It also heightens our senses and our capabilities for espionage. Yeah, and we're, like, really good at it, and we've, like, been doing it for a while. We've been following you guys for a long time.

good at it and we've been doing it for a while. We've been following you guys for a long time. Consider the fact that Sammo and Wink have followed us all around the sixth quadrant, keeping tabs on us, all the while under the perfect cover of being hardcore dust addicts. That's not a cover, we really are.

It's sort of an added bonus. Wink, tell them what we did with the bomb. We got rid of it. We put it in the middle of the cigarette. The what? Yeah, we put it in the reactor. In the reactor of the delegator?

Yeah, we went on a tour and the guide showed us where the reactor was and said Dwaan Pambui made this and it'll blow up the entire thing if you put a detonator in there. So he put the bomb there. How did you find the bomb? Well, we've been intercepting communique from the Council of Seven for weeks.

But also we just, like, straight up asked Bargey, and she told us. Yeah, she did. She's known the entire time that there's a giant bomb on her. And we asked her why she didn't tell you guys. What did she say, Wendy? She's like, maybe it was meant to be. Like, I should just, like, accept it. Also, my self-tape wasn't that good.

Yeah. Then we ended up shooting. Yeah, we helped to record another one. We helped to record a few things. She's so good as Rock No. 5. She's so great. I thought my read with her was pretty good. Okay.

But anyway. Is there a timer on the bomb? Oh, yeah, probably. We should go. No, no, no. Here's the thing that's great. We went on a tour. And then we all took a break and did some more dust. Yeah, we did like, oh my god, this dust was so good.

What? What's the question? Are we under some sort of time crunch? Well, I mean, there's guards and the alarm's still going off. We all just ate off the face of the commanding officer, so I'm sure there's a little bit of a... We should probably go. Nah, we've got an escape pod with a big old pile of dust in it.

All right. They literally won't say whether there's a timer. We should go. We should go. When you guys leave on Bargy, the Council of Seven is going to activate the bomb. But instead of blowing up Bargy, it's going to blow off the Delegate. That's a dust plan, Motherjucker. Hey, guys, you know what?

I literally never thought I would say this in my entire life. Sam and Wick, thank you for saving our lives. Login to the Rebellion. This is where we leave you. Put on some sick shades. Yeah. Hello there. Very sick.

Bargy, could you open the hatch, please? We're going to take off here. All right, everybody get inside. BTW, I have a bomb in me. Oh, no, Edna. I got alerted by the Two-Face Monster that I should be more honest with you when I find a bomb. Bargy, we appreciate your candor, but we need to get off this ship immediately.

Alright, uh, also, I did have a long discussion with Tiny Tooth. To be honest, I don't think she's doing well. I think it's one of those things where you just, like, talk about how great you are, like, to put it out there. Sure, sure. But really, in reality, you're not really

doing well. Yeah, Bargy, we should probably take off. Great, Bargy, we gotta get out of here. That's great, Bargy. That's great news. Sure. Here you go. Just one second, Nermin. Just relax.

Just relax. All right. Yeah, yeah, let's get in here. Let's all go. I've already jumped us to hyperspace, Bargy. Oh, bye. Attention, Rebels. This is your calm and collected leader, Rolfus Tittle,

with a critical announcement. Support for the rebellion against the Federated Alliance comes from MeUndies. Does your junk ever bunch up like... Attention, Rebels. Brace yourself for exciting news. Excuse me. Excuse me. This channel is in use. Oh, sorry. I didn't... Wait. Sisu? Rolfus?

We agreed that we weren't going to be... Yeah, I know. Okay? But I have a really important... No, no, no. That was part of the agreement. You get the channel from 635 to 1780. Oh, yuck the agreement. I'm not going to put the rebellion on hold just because my ex-husband insists on hogging the encrypted frequency

to sell underwear. That underwear is making this rebellion possible. Oh, really? You always... Well, my spies just blew up an Alliance administrative ship. Wait, what? Yes, the Delegator has just been destroyed. That's what I got on this channel to announce.

That's amazing. It's a huge win for the Rebellion, and we owe it all to a team of heroic ambassadors who defected. Sisu, I owe you an apology. Maybe it's not the underwear that makes this Rebellion possible. Maybe it's the people. Long live the Rebellion, Commander Gundu. Long live the rebellion, Commander Gundu. Long live the rebellion, General Tittle. Tittle out!

Tittle out! Alright, Nermin, get ready. Okay. Nermin! Oh, boy. What's up, buddy? Oh, man. I'm inside the Bergerian Shade. Nermin! You made it, Nermin! Oh, boy. What's up, buddy? Oh, man. I'm inside the Bergerian Jade. Nermin! You made it, Nermin.

You know, Nermin, I was right. You are adorable. Oh, thanks. Oh, my gosh. This is insane. Oh, I've only seen this on movies. Sit down. Just sit down here.

Oh, I fell over. All right, just have a seat. Maybe just drink this juice. Oh, I fell over. All right, so just have a seat. Maybe just drink this juice. Oh, thank you. Guys, I... I don't think I'm getting that promotion. Oh, Nermin. Yeah, I do.

That's probably not going to happen. Because they were going to kill me. Sure, sure. Yes. Well, one thing's for sure, buddy. We are outlaws. Big time outlaws. Oh, my gosh. Sure, sure. Well, one thing's for sure, buddy. We are outlaws. Big time outlaws. Oh my gosh.

That's true. How does it feel to be a hero? Oh man. The rebellion is gonna raise us up. They're gonna take us through town on their shoulders. Wow. We'll be able to walk into nearly any bar in the galaxy and... See a picture of ourselves that says wanted.

Yeah. Well, that's also true. Sure. That's true. Ambassador Dexeter, I guess I don't have to say that. Yeah, you can sort of say whatever you want. How about Professor Dexeter? Well, that's inaccurate. Okay. Sugarcane, I don't know if you're going to do it.

No, that's not going to work either. Very well. Black, I have an incoming transmission from Samoan Link. no, no. That's not going to work either. Oh, okay. Hey. Hey, guys. Hi. Good news. Good news.

Delegator. We can actually show you the footage. Oh, yeah. Sick footage. Sick footage of the delegator blowing up. Whoa. Whoa, I can see my office window. That is a lot of shit to explode.

Yeah. It's better if you're on dust. Seriously, we've been watching it so many times. It's like different colors and you're like, are you my mother? Yeah. Who's that? Tiny Toots? Yeah. Yeah, that is.

So here's the kicker, guys. Here's the great thing. You guys aren't even blamed for it. Yeah. Nobody knows that it was you guys. You didn't make sense. Everybody's putting it on Tiny Toots and Turk Mannequin. Uh-oh.

They're the biggest outlaws in the galaxy. Nobody has any idea who you guys are. Yeah, they're all like already praising them. you guys are. Yeah, they're all already praising them. Both sides. The Federated Alliance thinks of them as an incredible threat, and the Rebellion is so excited about them. So, yeah,

nobody knows that you did anything. Okay. Sort of par for the course, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. You know, guys, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Whatever. Whatever.

And again, like, if you ever want, like, if you ever need some dust or anything, or want to join the rebellion, Sure, sure. Maybe we'll see you around. Yeah, maybe you will.

What are you guys going to do now, now that you've destroyed the Delegator? Yeah, what's your... It seems we are free to choose our own destiny. Cool, man.

Cool. Totally cool man. Cool. Totally cool. So cool. Have you turned it off yet, Wink? Have you turned the thing off? No, it's still on. It's still on, guys. Okay.

Well, guys, what's next? Oh, man. What's not next? What is next? Can I, like What's not next? What is next? Can I like... Can I see the warm bean? Oh. Oh.

Yeah, we've been keeping it in this cup of wine. I think I forgot about it. Yeah, I use it to make tea. Because it's faster than the replicator. That is a relic. Sometimes I like to go fast and slow, so I roll it around. That's a real hoot. You roll the bean

around just by changing the speed of the entire ship? Yeah. Well, anyway, here's the bean. Oh, yeah, I'll just pull it out of this water, and wow, it's sort of much larger in your hands. Yeah, wow, this is big, and it's actually, that's kind of

still warm. Is it always throbbing? Is it always... What? What? Nothing, I'm just holding it. What is happening? There's light coming out of it. Well, that's not what I expected to be in there. See you next time. was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship, the Enforcer Droids, and Wing were played by Mujan Zulfagari.

Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Flynn. Clone Flight Infantry Nomadic Troopers Commander Voltor and Sammo were played by Winston Knoll. Mission to Zix is recorded at Bronze Studios in Greenpoint, Brooklyn by engineer Shane O'Connell. This episode edited by Seth Flynn

with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Music by Brendan Ryan. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Cratchley. Ship design for the Bulgarian Jade by Eric Goiz. Mission to Six is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom. This concludes season one of Mission to Six. Mike, does my skin look okay?

I feel like... You seem to be flaking a lot. I don't know. I feel weird in this air. What sort of humidity are you used to, Nermit? Like 85%. Oh. They had to keep my office at 85% to keep me hydrated.

We might need to relocate you to this terrarium. Oh, now that feels like a little humiliating. It has a heat rock. Oh. It's a big flat rock that gets very hot. Now we're talking.