Mission To Zyxx - 203: Sea World According to Gerp [ft. Ali Gordon]

Episode Date: June 13, 2018

The crew heads to the lush water planet Gill/Gesh and encounters unexpected locals. Pleck gets a base tan. Nermut loses his cool. Bargie hires a coach. Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as Rolphus Tiddle and Roberto Krak'oor Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie With Special Guest Ali Gordon as Gerp Edited by Seth Lind Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Additional Music by Shane O’Connell Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

It is a period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Now, Rebel Emissary Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Hey, Nermit.

Yeah. I'm glad to see you're mostly better after your hot dog incident. That was rough. Yeah, wow. I feel like a pillar that supports a building was put through my body vertically. Sure, sure. That's pretty much what it looked like. Yeah, I guess it was that.

I just had to help out Darn. Okay, I don't want anyone to be alarmed. But I am retaining a lot of water. Okay. And I am saying this as an announcement before I come out of my room. Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Dar. You're beautiful all the time. Dar, we wouldn't judge you.

Wow. Okay, wow. Yep. There are a lot of nitrates in those hot dogs. Sure, sure. Are you stuck in the hallway? Are you stuck? I can't move. And I would like a push.

I'm going to crawl under you and then... Nope, now you are also stuck. This seems ill-advised. I'm stuck under a leg scale. Is there anything I can do? I'm just waiting. Can you make the wall wider in the hall? Yeah, can you open this wider?

Can you make this hallway wide? You want me to make my hallway wider? Yeah. That's who I am. I can't really change my insides. That's probably a crazy question. Do you feel like I'm always too narrow? No, no, no.

I've been thinking it's too narrow recently, but I finally was like I like who I am for who I am. No, no, Bargy. No, no, Bargy. You don't want to get your hallways done. You're going to have that very done look. Sure, sure. If you want to maybe crack the hatch just a little bit.

Just a hair, maybe we can kind of just get a little vacuum pressure and pop old Dar right out of there. All right, I'll crack it open. Okay, I'm just going to hold on to this bar here. Oh, all right. Old Dar just popped right out. Emissary Dexeter, I have an incoming transmission from Rebel Leader Alphys Tittle. Oh, is it for me? Apparently.

Yeah. Hello, sir. Emissary Dexeter. Yes. Crew of the Bargerian Jade, hello. Yes, sir. Hello. Hello. Long live the rebellion. Yes, sir. Hello.

Hello. Yeah, absolutely. Long live the rebellion. You say it after me. Long live the rebellion. Yeah, long live the rebellion. Crew of the Bargerian Jade, I wanted to give you a brief update on Hark Tardigas. Oh, yeah, sure. Wow, what a tragedy.

He's alive, right? He's missing. Which means... We have no idea where his last location was, communication went really... Bad. Weird. Sort of weird, yeah. It just got very weird. Yeah. Almost like someone tampered with it.

Crew of the Bargerian Jade, in the absence of Captain Tardigas, we need you to fulfill a mission for the Rebellion. Whoa, really? Wow. The Rebellion is low on supplies. Specifically, water. Water?

That seems like a crucial part. That's really important. Isn't there water sort of everywhere? I mean, I'm holding a lot of it right now. You're a chatty lot, aren't you? Yeah, sorry. We're just sort of used to it. Usually when Nermit gives us a mission, we're kind of like,

hey, that's a weird thing happening with you today. It's not even about the assignment. It's not really. The assignment is sort of usually kind of tangential. Can I chime in? Can I chime in? No. Why isn't Jim chiming in?

Hi, I have a question for you, dear. I have a question. What do you think about my hallways? What? Narrow. Two narrow? I don't. Listen.

Say they're fine. They're fine. They're fine. They're fine? Wow. Okay. Wow. No, Margie, he was like Say they're fine. They're fine. They're fine. They're fine? Wow. Okay. No, Margie, he was like, they're fine. What's up with you, man?

This water is vital for the success of the rebellion. I need this crew to report to the planet of Gilgash, a lush water planet. The inhabitants are very particular about their resources, so I want you to go and negotiate. Get the water and get out. Are you soldiers or not? Are you rebels? Yeah, we're rebels. We're emissaries. Alright. Go to Gilgash.

Get the water. That's it. That is truly it. Sure, sure. Why is the ship talking? I feel like I know your voice. Are you the guy who sells underwear? Why is the ship talking? I feel like I know your voice. You're the guy that sells underwear. Well, yeah. Everybody's got a side hustle.

Oh, okay. Listen, get the chucking water. Guys, we're going to go to Gilgush, and we're going to fill giant tankers with water, and it's going to be amazing. See how he moves his hands around? Can you tell us about your music career instead. Uh, I mean, sure. So, I'm working on this new thing.

Do I have to be here for this? Yes. Do you like music? This is a mission briefing. Okay. Alright, everybody, calm down. I agree with him, okay? Everybody sit. Calm down and be very professional, because I have an acting coach coming. Oh, Bargy! Oh, Barge! I can't

deal with this little bit of business right now. I'm not involved in your lives. But you could be because now you're the person who gives us the mission. Yeah, and Commander Tittle, I mean, Bargy has a very storied career. She's on her way back up. I have a printout of Bargy's filmography if you want to look at here. This is amazing. What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you all? Before you go, I have a couple of signs I need to practice beforehand, if you don't mind. You have received an audio transmission from Rebellion Headquarters. Playback will follow decryption. Attention, Rebels! This is Commander Sisu Gundu with a very exciting voicemail! Suck it, other voicemails! That's right, I'm here with news about our official Rebellion website, therebellion.space.

Built with Squarespace. Yeah, it's a real website that you can visit. Like, we literally made a website! Head to therebellion.space ASAP because we posted some insane stuff, like an advice column by the one and only Hark Tardigast, who will even answer your questions, a page where you can upload sounds that could end up in one of our weekly propaganda messages,

and get this! We've uploaded a heavily encrypted communique that we intercepted from the stupid Federated Alliance. Can you decrypt it? We sure can't. So head over to therebellion.space, where you'll also find a link to this amazing offer. A free Squarespace trial, and then 10% off when you purchase a website or domain. 10% off when you purchase a website or domain. That's at squarespace.com slash zix and use offer code zix or better yet, just click make a website when you're browsing all that scorching hot exclusive rebellion intel on the best website ever made, therebellion.space. It was insanely

easy to make and we definitely don't know what we're doing. TheRebellion.space. Sisu Gundu, signing off. End of message. Hey, this does not look like a water planet. No, this is neither verdant nor lush. Hey, Barji, are you sure you got these coordinates right? Yeah, this is a planet that you told me to go to. I guess so.

Well, I mean, I don't know. C-53, does this look right to you? Well, no, it doesn't look right. But I can confirm that these landmarks are correct with our maps of Gilgush. It just seems very dry here for a water planet. Weird. All right, I guess let's open the hatch. Let's do this.

Wow, that is warm. It's an impressive heat. Wish I still had those Alliance shorts, you know? This bathing suit feels a little ridiculous right now. Guys, I think something's wrong. I don't know. I mean, the coordinates are right. This is Gilgash. Hey, Nermin, how are you feeling?

This is sort of like your zone, right? You're like a reptile. Yeah, it kind of feels like nap time. That sun's a-beatin' down. I could sun me a little belly. Nermin, stop coiling up on that rock. Wait, Nermin, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Are you cold-blooded? Yeah. So, like, when it's hot like this, do you get real, like...

I get kind of good. Yeah. Do you, like, stay real... You get kind of good? Yeah. Watch this little stretch. I'm going to stretch out. That's adorable.

That is maybe the most comfortable I've ever seen Nervin look. Yeah, that's good stuff. But if I scare you... Yeah, what do you mean? Ah! Wow! He went, like, 20 meters. He went, like, 20 meters. He went like 20 meters

in like half a second. That is classic lizard, guys. Classic lizard. I would describe that as darted away. He darted. I guess the water must be over the horizon because we can't see it from here. Come on, guys!

Hmm. because we can't see it from here. Come on, guys. Guys, this looks like it used to be some kind of settlement, but there's no one here. Hey. Visitors. Hi. Oh, something there's no one here. Hey! Visitors! Hi! Oh, something is inside this little bowl. Hello! Hello! I'm Emissary Plec Dex Setter.

I'm here with C-53, Protocol Diplomatic Relations Droid. Dar is our security officer and Nermant Bundler. Hi! I'm Gurp. Gurp? Gurp. Gurp is your name? Gurp is my name. Wow. It sounds like what I say when I blow bubbles, when I swim around in this little tank.

That's, wow, that is adorable. Thank you. Visitors! Oh, hi! I'm Gurp. Oh, hi. Nermin, why are you so close to Gurp's tank? No reason.

Nermin, are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Quit looking at your lips like that. You know, Gurp, hey, listen, we're here from the Rebellion. Oh, the Rebellion. We don't get a lot of visitors around here. Yeah, well, you know, we heard actually this is a water planet. Yeah, I'm in water.

This is my tank. I'm Gurp. Yeah, you mentioned that, Gurp. Gurp, didn't your planet used to be'm in water. This is my tank. I'm Gurt. Yeah, you mentioned that, Gurt. Gurt, didn't your planet used to be covered in water? Oh, yeah. A long time ago, when there were still other people who didn't look like Gurt. On this planet, they used to stand upright. We were a source of entertainment for them. They'd lean over our little tanks and say that we look cute and provide us with food. Oh no.

Oh no. Guys, can I talk to you guys over here for a second? I think if you hold the tank, I could dive in and just grab Gurp. No, why would you do that? Because doesn't that look like the most delicious thing you've ever seen? You gotta calm right now. I'm in my chill zone. No, no, no, you're

hot-blooded right now. I just think we should eat Gurp. What are you talking about? This is the first person that we have met on an alien world, and you're suggesting that we eat them. This is obviously a meal. This can't be who we're meeting. Oh, he's not suggesting we eat Gurp.

He's suggesting that he eats Gurp. If there's more Gurps around, you can have them, but I call this first Gurp. Oh, other Gurp? Yeah, there are other people like Gurp. We swim in our little tanks, and they're a little further that way. If you want to get there, you're going to have to carry me.

How did you get all the way out here? If I rock, the motion of the water in the tank will propel me a very small amount. Oh, no. Visitors, have you seen that star? It's beautiful. You mean the sun? Yeah, that one. Yeah.

It's very, very hot. Take a look at this picture from the surface of Gilgash from ten years ago. Oh, no. That sun's about 40 times the size it used to be in the sky.

Yeah, Gurp, I gotta tell you, I think this star's getting bigger. Yes, it is getting bigger. It's so beautiful. It warms my tank. I think there's less water in here. Oh, no. Are we here to do, like, astronomy or to find those other Gurps? Am I right?

Let's get over to Nermin's. Nermin. What? What are you doing? I just, this is... You have a little knife and fork out. Where did you even get that? Huh? I packed a knife and fork.

Nermin. What? We are here on a diplomatic mission. What are we looking for? You should not do emissary work on an empty stomach. We were looking for water. Water? Well, when I was where I was, before I forgot where I came from, there was water.

Take me that way. Okay. No. Sure. Okay, this way? Oh, wow. This is heavy. I'm not sure why I'm the one carrying.

Oh, I'll do it. You absolutely will not take it. That guy looks excited to carry me. He's got a little bib on. Where did you get a bib? The question is why are you carrying a fork and bib in your swag? Because when I heard water planet, I thought of home and thought. Wait, you're from a water planet?

I mean, there's a lot of water on my planet. A lot of water on my planet. Me too. That way of water on my planet. Um, me too. That way. Okay, all right. Dark, can you carry Gurb? Yes, I can carry Gurb. And just make sure Gurb doesn't get too close.

Very far away from Nermin. Listen, this species obviously wouldn't know if it's alive or dead. What are you? What the chuck, Nermin? What? I'm speaking to the same Nermin bundle I've been-o that had memorized all of the Federated Alliance protocol. Yeah, of course. Listen, Plek, you've eaten Garfon.

Yeah, but it was dead, though. It was already dead. Well, this fish will be dead. If you want to eat, Gurp, I think you can. Yes. We should just find more of you. Oh, no. Nermit.

Nermit. Why'd you pull me out? No. What? I had him. Nermit! Nermit! Why'd you pull me out? What? I had him. Nermit. Nermit. What? Oh, boy.

Less water in my tank. Oh, no. Nermit. No. No! So we'll catch up to him in a second. That was one of my softer slaps, I feel. Oh, I'm guilty.

I mean, his bones are hollow. Gurp! Gurp! Oh, boy. Wow. Are these your friends, Gurp? I think so. Hey, it's Gurp! It's me, Gurp! Oh, it's Gurp! Guys, these are Gurp, and that's Gurp. That's Gurp, and I'm Gurp.

But I'm Gurp. These are visitors. Uh, hi there, uh, Gurp, Gurp, Gurp, uh... It's me, I'm Gurp, Gurp, Gurp. Oh boy. We sort of get it. First name Gurp, no last name. Gurp was my father. Call me Gurp. Wait, where's Gurp? Oh, I'm here, and I brought visitors. Gurp! My father call me

Wow it is a real pleasure to meet you curbs You might be asking where's the leadership, anybody that I can ever remember having power, they're gone now. It's just GURPS. We all like each other, so I guess you could just talk to GURPS. Oh, that's good. I mean, you guys sort of have, like, real utopian society here. I'm sorry, Dexter. I think we need to review the concept of a utopian society.

Oh, I guess I just mean that, like, they kind of got it all figured out, you know? Let's just step aside here for a second. Okay, yeah, Gurp, just give us one second. Okay, I'm Gurp. Great. You sure are. Not that they'll remember us talking about this in front of them, but I still think decorum. Yeah, sure, we should keep it over here for now.

Yeah, their planet is about to be incinerated. They're going to fall into their own sun. Oh, my. I mean, is there anything we can do? I don't know. Can you reverse the movement of a planet? We could baggy all of them and take them back onto the ship. Does anyone have, like, a small...

Excuse me, I think you forgot to put down Gurp. Dara's carrying Gurp. Are you saying our planet is in some sort of danger? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, what? Our planet's in danger? Our planet's in danger.

Our planet's in danger? Our planet's in danger. Hey, look. Visitors. I'm GURP. Oh, really? I'm GURP. We're fine.

We're fine. That's a relief. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where's Nermit? Nermit! Get that out of your mouth! Nermit, we can't take you anywhere Yes, you can

I've gone places You have zero impulse control Okay These GURPS are going to be burnt up by their own star pretty soon anyway. These are so close to the prime delicacy on my planet. If you understood what tasty... That was my father. I'm GURPS.

I'm GURPS. You're so happy. Have you seen the star? Oh, the star. Have you seen the star? I mean, yeah, it's huge. It's beautiful. I feel like it's...

I mean, C-53, is it bigger than it was when we got here? Oh, yeah. You know, it's so much bigger. Big star! Big star! I'm big star! Let me show you a projection of how soon we are going to fall into the star. Oh, wow. Let's look at...

Yep, today. It's today. The top of my into the star. Oh, wow. It's looking, yep, today. It's today. The top of my bowl is bubbling. Oh, boy. The bowls aren't half empty, they're half full. Yeah. The bowls are half full. I know I mentioned earlier that I felt ridiculous wearing this swimsuit,

but I feel even stupider right now because it's just riding up in all this sweat. But you're getting a tan, which is nice. Ambassador Dexeter, did you apply a preventative lotion before exiting margin? Nah, I tan pretty easy, so I think I'm probably good. Very red. Okay. I feel pretty good.

You're pinker than normal. Sometimes I remember people. Hmm. Something. Do they look like this skeleton over here? Oh, boy. Big star! Big star!

I remember one of their heads exploded. What? Just exploded. I remember one of them came and they were like, we're here to take your water. And they started to take our water and then they fell down and they became a skeleton. Yeah, I remember one of them said, I actually tan pretty well. And then his head exploded. Okay, fair enough. How hot is it,

C-53? It's close to 200 degrees. Oh, that's higher than I thought. You know what? Hey, uh, hey, Bargy? Yeah? Uh, could you just swing by and pick me up? I'm just gonna apply some sunscreen here. Okay, but, uh, Roberta is currently with me. We're going through

some scene work, so you're going to have to be part of it. Oh, yeah, sure. I'm happy to weigh in. Wow, your head is bubbling. Okay, just as quickly as possible, please. Hey there, pull up a chair. Get you your regular.

Well, now, look a little down. You know, what I do when I need to cheer up, which is pretty much all the time, I listen to my favorite podcast, Spontaneanation. It's a completely improvised show where you never know what's coming. It's totally improvised, okay? Host Paul F. Tompkins and his special guests bring you, you, into hilarious new worlds every episode. From the monologue to interviews to, like, narrative sketches. And one crazy thing about Paul, this is so crazy, he sounds like Rip Ciso.

The famous raconteur from Chimn from chimnasa but like with a totally different accent so get this in honor of pride month right now hang on your band you you know i'm looking at somebody else i'm bad you got two minutes maximum sorry that's my brother we don't we don't get along anyway what was it talking, Spontaneanation this month, in honor of Pride Month, has an incredible lineup of super talented LGBTQ performers stopping by the show all month long. People like Stephanie Beatrice from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, you know, and Natalie Morales from Parks and Recreation. You don't want to miss this, okay?

So here's your next order coming up. I don't care what you want to order. This is what's coming. You are listening to Spontaneanation with Paul F. Tompkins every Monday. Every Monday on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I don't care where you listen. Why would I have a dog in that fight? I just care what you listen to, you know? And when you leave, I want you to take my stupid brother.

That was a stupid one. you know and when you leave i want you to take my stupid brother i don't know if you've looked at these uniforms these are federated alliance uniforms on the on the skeleton yeah to remember. Kirk, do you remember any explosions happening? Oh, yeah, other big, bright stars. And yelling, screaming. People screaming, oh, we've thrown the gravitational pull of the planet off. Yes, big star getting closer. Everyone scared. People screaming, not enough escape pods for so many soldiers. People screaming, this is the end of our life.

Well, that was a terrifying interlude. Yeah, really just sitting in it right now. Wait, are we to believe that there was an alliance battle happening while this star was coming so close that Tellurian life couldn't exist? No, they knocked this planet out of its orbit. Oh. That's worse. Yeah, they doomed the world.

They destroyed an entire ecosystem. Huh. Could you imagine different groups who just hated each other so much they would sacrifice an entire planet? No. That's so dumb. Oh sacrifice an entire planet. No. That's so dumb. Hey, hey, hey.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. What? Hi, Gurp. Hi, Gurp. Oh, I'm Gurp. Hello. Hi, Gurp. Oh, I made a mistake in greeting the first one.

Yep. So you guys came to the planet for the bright star? No, Gurp. Sad to say we were here for the water, which apparently no longer exists. Oh, yeah. We remember that day. It all went away. Your cognitive powers seem to grow the hotter it gets on this planet.

It makes me feel good. It also makes my whole tank go bubbly. Look. Oh, see, this is, I mean, guys, it's literally cooking in its own water. Come on. Just give me this one. Feels good. Come on.

Literally, no. What? It is boiled fish. Hey, guys. Hey. Hey. How are you feeling, buddy? Are you feeling good?

Hey, guys. I'm communicator. I thought maybe you needed my help. No, we're okay. How's the ice bath? Oh, boy. Wow. It was, you guys were help. No, we're okay. How's the ice path? Oh, boy. Wow. You guys were right.

I should not have stayed out there for that long. I can hear your skin crackling. Yeah, well, it's fine. Uh-oh. Beano, get more ice. Oh, Beano's helping. I'm going to go back into my coma. I'll talk to you guys later.

All right. Okay. Listen, guys. We're not going to get any water on this planet. There's water in every one of these tanks. We need water? We have water? I need water. Well, Gurp, if we take your water,

won't you all die? I don't know. I've never been out of my water. I think the answer to that is you would die. Each one of you, Gurps, would die. We might not. We might become part of the bright star. Yeah, the bright star. No, no GURPS.

Maybe all that which comes from the big star must return to the big star. Maybe energy can either be created or destroyed, but only transferred. Therefore, GURPS would actually just become part of the universe. Yeah, and maybe Gurp has seen so much. So many sizzling bodies. Maybe the star is what makes that all make

sense. We love the bright star. Okay, my small fishy zealots, you do not need to jump out of your little tanks. Jump, jump, jump, jump. Nervin! What?

You stop that right there or I will have C slap you right back onto the ship. Cut! They were chanting it. I was just, they wanted it. We love to chant. Anything you say, we'll chant it. You know that these carp are very impressionable. Nervin, I am just going to pick you up by your leg.

I do not trust you. You don't think you're in control of yourself? Come on. Ow. Okay. The blood's going to my head. All us carps just want you to be happy. We're incredibly happy.

Are you happy? Oh. That is a complicated question, Garnt. I can't really. It's not. We're incredibly happy. Are you happy? Oh. Uh. That is a complicated question, Garnt. I can't really. It's not. Are you happy? Yes.

We're happy. We're happy. We're happy. I'm in the inside of a mouse. Wait. Nermit. Sorry. I just.

I'm carrying. I'm saving it. Nermit, I was holding you upside down for your own benefit, not so that you could dive into the tanks of these GURP. You dipped me in the tank and I took the opportunity. These GURP look exactly like Milnins. And where I grew up, Milnins were served once a month. And if you got your Milnins... Let's be real.

How much radiation are in these, Gurp? I mean, a lot at this point. The stars are getting brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter. Whoa, look at that, Gurp. That Gurp's about to get out of the tank. I'm going to jump. Visitors, take my water. I want you to.

Gurp, you seem to be okay my water. I want you to. Wait, what is... You seem to be okay without water. Hmm. Yeah. Hmm. Look at me. Now they're all doing it. I feel the best I've ever felt. Yeah. Look. Look at me.

I can walk far. Walking on those things. What are they called? Oh, yeah. Fins. Look at me. I can walk far. Walking on those things. What are they called? Oh, yeah. Fins. Well, flipping your fins, you don't get too far. Legs are required for jumping. Dancing.

I'm Gurp. I'm Gurp. See, are they evolving? This is highly unusual. Look, my fins turned into ten little individual digits. This creature seems to have some sort of relation to massive amounts of stellar radiation. The more they absorb, the faster they seem to be moving up the evolutionary chain. This is highly unusual. The thing inside of me is getting smarter.

I, I believe my, my name, I need a last name. What about Gurp? Gurp, Gurp. I'm Gurp. I need a last name. What about Gurp? Gurp, Gurp. I'm Gurp, Gurp. Oh, yeah, me too. I'm Gurp, Gurp. I'll be Gurp, Gurpson. My father was Gurp. All right, maybe they're not moving up that fast.

Still admirable. It's still impressive. Yeah. The bright star is going to be here soon. Dar, we have about 20 minutes before you and I are incinerated. But what do we do? Do we shuttle them to another planet? Please don't take us from our planet. Look that way.

Do you see the bright star? You can't avoid seeing the bright star at this point. See how it sort of sizzles your eyes if you look at it for too long? When I look away from the bright star, I still see it. Because it's been burned onto my retinas. But also because I feel like it lives inside of me. I love the bright star. I don't want to go anywhere else.

Please take our water, but leave Gurp. Dark, I feel diplomatically we are not permitted to remove them. Gurp, we are honored by being presented with your water, but as you can see, it's mostly just boiling off. Yeah. Your bowls at this point would be largely useless for us to take this water. Oh, well, also you can stop by at our nearby planet. There is a lot of water there.

Nearby planet? Yeah, Gesh. Oh, well, also you can stop by at our nearby planet. There is a lot of water there. Nearby planet? Yeah, Gesh. We're Gil, that's Gesh. We're planets that are really nearby each other, and that one has a lot of water. Wait a minute. Gil, Gesh, is twin planets. Mm-hmm.

It's close, a little hop, skip, and a jump. Look, I'm hopping, skipping, and jumping. Me too. Oops. I bumped into you, Gurp. Ooh. Gurp. Ooh.

Huh? I bumped into you, Gurp, and Gurp, and we're Gurp. Now we're Gurp. I'm becoming part of Gurp. I'm becoming part of Gurp. Oh, it's morphing into one very giant GURP. Hey guys, Plek here. Yeah. Hey Plek! How's everything going? The same or weird?

It's way weirder now. Very weird. The GURPs are morphing as the star comes closer and it turns out we're only on Gil and the nearby planet of Gush, which I assume is invisible beyond that giant star. It must be a perfect asynchronous orbit.

Yeah, that's where we need to go get the water. So if we could get Bargy down here, async. Yeah, yeah, I'll come on down. I mean, well, Bargy will come on down, but I'll just be here. Okay. Still in the ice. Great. Gurren?

Yes? It's been good to know you. It's been good to know you, too. I hope you're getting what you wanted by joining with a bright star. Bright star. Well, we'll never forget you, Gurp. We'll never forget you, Gurb. We'll never forget you, visitors. I am Gurb.

We have to go. Yeah, we gotta get out of here. Well, in case you were worried you'd never see a planet fall into a star... There she goes. Checked off the list. Yeah, check it off the list. Wow. That is... Can we please have some silence? I'm in the middle of a scene.

Oh. Sorry, Bart. Okay, Roberto, do you want to continue? Yes, Bart, just center a little bit more on this one. Okay. Just great. You are my father, but are you my father or are you my father's father? Don't you recognize me?

Have I aged so much to you? What? What? Sorry, I can't. This place is, like, not good. You know what I mean? Like, I'm trying to be... I'm only here via a hollow, but I'm really feeling the energy off of plaque.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Roberto. He's got it. He's got something. I'm not quite sure what it is. Is it the space? I... What?

I don't think so. No, I got it. I got it. I got it. Also, I'm going to need 200 crore. Yeah, yeah, I'll give it to you. Don't worry, you're going to get it so fast. The great part is that if you keep taking classes, eventually you'll, you get success.

Anyway, go ahead. Okay. Sounds like a bit of a wreck. How do they replic into this? Can we do the next scene? Yeah, we can do the next scene. I feel like that one's way better if that one. Okay.

Okay, okay. Jontawa. Jontawa. Jontawa. Jontawa. Jontawa. Plek, you moved me. What? Really? I don't know if you've ever considered this as a career, but if you wanted it, it's there for you.

Oh, thank you. I really appreciate that. Okay, go on. My notes? Yeah, Barchi, I didn't quite... It sounded like you were just repeating the word Juntawa. No, I was... Were you speaking Juntawa, or were you just saying Juntawa over and over again?

Because there's a difference. I was up way too late last night just to get a chance to... See, that's your mistake. Barji, you've got to prepare. Plek is right, Barji. You have to prepare. Okay, good notes coming from Plek Deck. Barji, I know you've been in a lot of popcorn hollows, but maybe...

No, I'm just going to turn off the hollow. I'm turning it off. Bargy, lighten love to you. Anyway, I'm not giving up on my career. Gonna go back and be big, baby. Oh, yeah. Bargy, we believe in you. Speaking of Plek...

Yeah, yeah. How are you feeling? You are flaking. Yeah. Oh, boy. I'm into the flaking phase. I'm good. I'm good.

Plek, is it weird to wish that you were just pink and not red? Yeah, it makes me really realize I was... I think I took a hard line about something I should have been kind of grateful for, because now I really wish I was back. To being... Pink. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's your call. Nermit, quick sidebar. Yeah. Without you. Yeah. That's not black. I mean, it's not like we would have the authority to do this, but I think we had to put Nermit on some kind of probation.

Yeah, his behavior was unacceptable. I mean, if we were still in the Federated Alliance, he might have been court-martialed. That was too much. Um, Nermid? We're going to put this

as tactfully as we can. You're on probation. What? Nermid. I'll say it. You're on probation. What? Nermin. What? I'll say it. You're a loose cannon out in the field. No, that was a one-off thing. I can be trusted.

I'm cool as... How can we be sure of that? Blumshon. What? Blumshon? I'm cool as a Blumshon. It's like a sort of a long vegetable. Emissary Dexeter, I have an incoming transmission from Commander Rolfus 2.

Hey, Rolfus. Ooh, Rolfy. I'm the Bargerian Jade. Mission status report. We got it, man. But I will say we went to the wrong planet first. Thank you so much for getting it. Also, the planet is currently being pulled into the gravity well of the nearby storm.

And I'm sure you've already noticed, but our little friend here is no longer pink. He is a baby mera. I don't care. I don't care about any of this. I just asked for a mission status report. You told me that you were the

crew of the Bargerian G. Yes, Rolf. The Rebellion thanks you. No problem. Weird. We've never heard that before. But I will say this. We've heard this before. I can't do this anymore.

You're an effective team. You've helped us twice. I cannot give you the missions anymore. We don't get to go on missions anymore? What? No. What I was hoping was we need a really crack missions operations manager back here at Rebel Base so that I don't have to interact with you, the crew of the Bargerian Jade. Oh, for like efficiency purposes. Exactly, yeah.

Exactly. I know that missions operations manager Bundeloy enjoys the field. Yeah, I'm not in that game anymore, but yeah, I'm really a field guy. But I would say that if you are at Rebel Base, there is a six-month path to promotion. Yeah, what? To promotion to what? Of course, it would be Senior Missions Operations Manager. Guys, I feel like I know we've really become a unit here, but I have something to tell you.

Oh, wow. Sorry, I'm just... Yeah, Bargy, just give it two seconds. I think we're clear. Sorry, sorry. Okay, okay. So I've thought about it, and I have an announcement. I'm going to go back to headquarters, and I'm going to...

Oh, no. There we go. Fantastic. I'm gonna go back to headquarters and I'm gonna... Oh, no. There we go. Fantastic. I'm sending an autonomous shuttle to pick you up now, Mission Operation Banner Bundle-Oi. Okay, I'll just escort Nermit out. Can you... I don't...

Great, but... I gotta say, C-53, I'm relieved. Nermit was... You really blew it out there. Yeah. In two different missions. Yeah. He revealed to the Florence immediately that we were working for the Rebellion.

We weren't even sure they were pro-Rebellion. As the shuttle hasn't come... Sorry, sorry. No, that's... Sorry about that. Nermit. Yeah. We love you, buddy.

I love you guys, too, and I... Shuttle's here. Yeah. We love you, buddy. I love you guys, too, and I... Shuttle's here. Oh. This is C-Red IT-5, Cretaceous Attribution Stroid, commencing outro protocol. Emissary Plek Deck Center was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn. Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship was played by Mujan Zulfagari. Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lynn. Acting Coach Roberta Krakower,

Rolfes Tittle, and Bino were played by Winston Knoll. Gurp the Gurp was played by special guest Ali Gordon. Ali is an actress, writer, and improviser from New York City. She can be found performing at UCB or with the popular long-running show, Gas Station Horror, at the People's Improv Theater. Ellie is also a performer on Second Best, a D&D comedy podcast, which can be found anywhere you like to listen to podcasts. This episode was recorded at Robert Ducky Jr.'s

Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York. This episode, edited by Seth Lynn, with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Music by Brendan Ryan. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom.

A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making Season 2 possible. Hey, do you want to send a physical item to the Zix Quadrant? That would be rad. Address your parcel to the Zix Quadrant, P.O. Box 180494, Brooklyn, New York, 11218. And our team of trained Zerblins will take it from there. Wait, where's Gurp? Oh, I'm here! And I brought visitors! Gurp! Gurp! Gurp! Gurp! Gurp! Gurp! I think some introductions are in order I'm Gurp

Don't start without Gurp I'm also Gurp I have sad news to report What is it Gurp? I'm Gurp So stupid But Gurp what is the sad news? Oh Gurp died