Mission To Zyxx - 207: A Phoenix Raises [ft. Christopher Scott & Matt Little]

Episode Date: July 11, 2018

The crew embarks on a stealth mission to the opulent Totopo Casino to find the elusive Phoenix Ash. Pleck goes all in. Bargie gets a BOGO. Nermut gets an autograph. Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie Winston Noel as the Pit Boss With Special Guests Christopher Scott as D-34_LR and Matt Little as Phoenix Ash Edited by Seth Lind Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Additional audio submitted by listener Becca Pridmore

This is CRED IT5 with a special announcement. Mission to Zix is performing live in Los Angeles for the first time ever on July 29th at 7pm at the Dynasty Typewriter at the Hayworth. Featuring the return of extra special guest John Gabris. Tickets at DynastyTypewriter.com and MissionToZix.space It is a period of civil war. period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate

of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Now, rebel emissary Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies,

and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Hey, C-50s, right? I got us a pet. What? I got us a pet. What? I got us a pet. A pet? Yeah. I was hanging out with my ship friends, and they were all happy.

They all seemed to have a pet, and now they were like, you were looking down, Bajie. Why don't you go get a pet? So I ordered a pet, and now we got a pet. Oh, that's really great. It's going to come any moment now. Bajie, what kind of animal is the pet? I just clicked pet and ship. I can't wait. I think a pet is the answer. I mean, you know, they say you shouldn't

like get a pet or like, you know, they say like after a breakup or like you lose your job, you shouldn't even get like a haircut, you know. I would like you to answer Bargy's question. Who is they? It was like a magazine for teens. What's the name of the magazine? They Teen. It was a long time ago. It was my older sisters. I was reading it. I didn't have a lot to do on Ranga

6. Anyway, they say... They Teen? They say you shouldn't make any big lifestyle changes when you're in a transitionary period. Why would you need another ship in your life when you have a pet? Bargy, you know, I know it's hard. I haven't been in a relationship in a while.

Anyway, opening the hatch, the pet's coming in. What? No! Oh, that does sound adorable. C53, how many species of pets will eat a tellurian? Oh, interesting question. If we're just talking about commonly accepted breeds for pets. At least four dozen. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Barge, before you open the door, can I just look in this air hole real quick?

Just to make sure. Okay. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. All right. That's terrifying. Listen, Barge, could you just... Close the next window. Yeah, let's wait until I'm Sort of on a mission

Before you let that out Because that might be pretty dangerous Oh, I ordered two pets, I'm sorry Bargy, come on Was it a bogo? It was a big bogo It was a big bogo weekend Wait, will bogos eat tellurians?

Oh, buy one, get one Oh, okay I have an incoming transmission From Missions Operations Manager Okay Hey, Nermit What? What did I do?

You called us Wait, you called us, why are you scrambling To hide something? I called you absolutely on purpose I didn't bump the button. Why are you scrambling to hide something? I called you absolutely on purpose. I didn't bump the button. And how are you? I mean, we're fine. Did you call us on accident?

No, no, no, no, no. Did you nub dial us? No. Missions operations manager. Did you nub dial us? No. With your tail? Yes, I nub dial you fine.

And if you saw this, it's... It's... It's a... It's a poster of... A Turk mannequin's giving a talk, and they pan out these fires. You have a Turk mannequin poster in your office? It's not...

I didn't hang it. It's... Where's our poster? No, he's... Well, you are not giving a Reb talk. Reb? They have a thing where sometimes... You get to give like a 15

minute little speech about a thing you're like a specialist in. Oh, a Reb talk. Yeah. And so they're having him talk and I'm not even gonna go. What's Turkmanikid's Reb talk about? Tell us. It's about how to

strap explosives to the core of a ship. Are you serious? Wow. He doesn't know. He's not qualified to do that. That's what I said. That was Sam Owen Wink. And that's why I'm not going.

How'd you get the poster? They handed it out to everyone who bought tickets. You know what, Norman? I don't like what's happening over there. We've got a mission. Do we? Is Tiny Toots in that poster? Why don't you show us the poster?

That's Tiny Toots over there. Wow. You know what, guys? I'll take one for the team. I'm going to go to the talk, and I'm going to figure out what his deal is. Nobody. Yeah, that doesn't help us at all.

Nobody asked you to do that. You know what, guys? I'm not going to the talk. Okay. Thank you. Why don't you give us our mission that we have? So, here's what you're doing. Have you guys heard of Phoenix Ash? No.

Should we have? Phoenix Ash is a shadowy character with deep, deep ties to the Federated Alliance, okay? So he works for the Federated Alliance. Or is he just like really good friends with people in the Federated Alliance? Yeah, how do you... I mean, we had really deep ties to the Federated Alliance. We were working

for them. Okay. Thanks, Nermit's doing a bad job today. I'm... I... My best friends don't like me. How do you operate on your job? Nermin, do you need a pet? We have two. We have two.

I guess. We had a few. Yeah. It was a bogey. Oh, you know, you gotta get the second one then. Exactly. Yeah, sure. Which one do you want?

I have no information about either. Well, one of them makes this sound sound and the other one makes this sound. I'll have the first one. You chose wrong. That one's the scary one. I don't need a pet. That's what people who need pets say. Anyway, continue.

You are going to the Totopa Casino. Wait, we're going to a casino? You're going to the Totopa Casino to track Phoenix Ash, who is involved with some incredible shady dealings. And you know what? I might as well just say this outright if we're being honest. This says on here, no funny business, okay?

What does that mean? It says no funny business, meaning no one will know you arrived. No one will have noticed you left. Phoenix Ash will not know that he met you. But you should come back with precious, precious intel. It's a stealth mission. Oh, so a Tellurian, droid, and dar walk into a casino. Yep.

Exactly. All right. And Plek, this is really rare and you need to be responsible, but we are going to give you a couple hundred croon so that if you end up, you know, in a game of chance, you can blend. Wait, you're giving us money? No, he's not giving it to you. It's just. And if we lose real big?

Asking for Plek. You can't lose more than you have. Okay. Well, you never know. And guys, the Totopo Casino is a dangerous, alluring place and you have to resist all of its magnetism. So is it actual magnets?

Yeah, C-53 should not be around magnets, probably not. It says here there are a lot of literal magnets and also it's just very alluring. Sort of a boho for magnetism. Yeah. Let us know how his Rebtok goes. Attention! Attention! Can anyone hear me?

This is Captain Hart Tardigas transmitting from the depths of a hyperdrive vortex. One moment I was welcoming some amazing new rebels into the rebellion, and then zap! My fighter is stranded in a technicolor ether separate from time and space. I can't even begin to describe what that was. Anyway, I'm picking up scraps of rebel communications, including this. Support from our noble rebellion against the putrid federated alliance comes from

Squarespace. We use Squarespace to build our amazing official rebellion website, therebellion.space. You can go there now to see the gorgeous poster for Emissary Turk Manikid's Reb Talk. Wow, is it a beaut. The site also has Jordan Bukorkin's hit song, This Dependent's Day. Download the track and check out the video, and fear not, although my very being is at the whims of the pulsing fabric of reality itself, I've been using my scamcom signal to faithfully file my

advice column, Hark's Tough Love, where I answer your burning questions the rebellion.space has lots more including the page make a site where you can get this amazing offer a free squarespace trial and 10 off your first purchase when you visit squarespace.com slash six and use the offer code six z y x x trust me you're gonna love squarespace's beautiful templates and award-winning 24 77 customer service. That's all at your favorite website and mine, TheRebellion.Space. Hark, Tardigas! Fight on! Fight on! You know what, guys?

I've got to hand it to Bargy. She had a bunch of straight-up costumes in that room we've never been into. I look good. Does this suit look familiar to you, C-52? I must inform you that that is the suit that Jim Jr. died in. What? I should not be wearing this. It fits

very well, though. Ah, welcome! Welcome to Topa Casino! Uh, hi. Hi there. We're just... You guys seem like you should be over in the high roller section, right? Yes, please.

A suit like that? A suit like that? Stop. A couple of high rollers, eh? Yep. And our droid. Ah, good, good. I'll set you up with one of the best dealers we have.

Thank you. Great. Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Are you the greeter at this casino, set you up with one of the best dealers we have. Ah, thank you. Great. Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Are you the greeter at this casino, or are you the owner of the casino? You never been to a casino before? I'm a greeter. Great. And I'm the walker. Let me walk you over.

Oh, wow, cool. Where are we walking him? Walking him over to D-34LR. Come on, greeter, join me. That's almost absurd. Ritual notions. Yeah, it's a ritual. 334 LR. Come on, greeter, join me. It's almost some sort of ritual notion. Yeah, it's a ritual. It's not a way to make sure that you start spending croon.

It's not that. Keep going. Sure. All right. Very nice. This is a really opulent casino. It's alluring and magnetic, right? It's definitely magnetic.

Well, it's a magnetic core. The planet has a magnetic core. Boys, I just want to jump in here real quick. There was one costume that fit me in Bargy's dressing room. One. Do I feel like a high roller in this large, shiny balloon? No! I'm not 100% sure that's a costume

so much as I would say. That may have just been a balloon. D-34LR will be taking care of you tonight. Thank you, sir. I will take very good care of them, sir. Thank you very much. Wow, cool. Hey, just here to play a couple games,

not get too involved. My name's Corp... Tomstopper. Okay, well, at this table, we play Royal Northam. And it's 100-crown blinds. Oh, I'm sorry. Next time, we should step away from the table immediately. Oh, well, to C-53, you used to be...

Okay, I'm in. To C-53, you used to be a Northam dealer. I used to be a Northam dealer. Do you understand me? Not a Royal Northam dealer. We have plenty of open seats. That looks pretty much the same, right? There's a river over there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Do not put that down on the table. Just one game seems fine. Got money on the table? We are playing. Are you familiar with royal Nortan? I'm familiar with Nortan. Oh, it's very similar. Oh, great. See? See if it's three times the way you like. Like Nortan, there are three suits. Okay. Gems, jewels, stones.

Great. Yep. Unlike Nortan, there are also three subsuits paired with each suit, which are also jewels, gems, stones. So you'll be given two cards per card, which you must hold together. So there would be jewel, jewels, jewels, gems, jewels, stones, gem, stones, gem, gem, gem, jewels. Make sense?

Et cetera. And then stone jewel, stone gem, and stone stones. Wow, you seem to be picking it up so fast. You should get gambling. Great. It's 100 crew and blinds. Sure. For the last time, I will advise you to leave the table.

C53, you know, I really... C53, I think you're making a bit of a scene. I'm not making a scene. I'm just grabbing the arms of a friend and telling him he's too stupid for this game. But I've already bought in, and I really want to beat him. Okay, listen. I can't let Dargo down this road by themselves.

I gotta try this. One hand, C53. One hand. Dargo down this road by themselves. I gotta try this. One hand, C-53. One hand. All right, so there are your ten cards. Remember, every card is paired with another card, so that's only five cards. Make sure you hold them together so they don't become separated, otherwise there will be consequences. Now, can I switch the cards from one...

Ow! Ow! No! Okay, good to know. Great, here are the nine cards in the chamber Ow! Ow! No. Okay. Good to know. Great. Here are the nine cards in the chamber and the three cards in the pit. Unlike normal Northrend, each betting round will consist of also passing one card to the right and putting one card face down.

Then, whoever has the highest bid from the previous round gets to select either one card from the pit or three cards from the chamber to flip up. Okay. Just one second. Yeah. C53, what do I do? Oh, now you're worried about how to play Royal Norton? I just lost the thread for like a second.

That's the point. Okay, okay, all right, yep. It's the most complicated card game in the galaxy. There are also five base cards, including with the normal number cards. There is the Heliophant, the Empress, the Emperor, the Prince, the Assassin. If you have the Heliophant, the Empress, the Emperor, the Prince, the Assassin. If you have the Assassin in your hand at the end of the round, it is worth minus three points.

Okay, yeah. If it is paired with either the Empress or the Emperor, it is worth 17 points. The Emperor is worth minus five points, and the Empress minus seven points. Okay, all right. All right, first betting round before we place our face down card and pass one card to the right. B-3-4-LR. I'm sorry, I have one more question. The river. Is that for drowning people in?

Yes, after ten rounds, the loser is drowned in a river. Okay, great, sure. So, C-53, same rules. As long as I don't lose ten rounds, we're in good shape. C-53. I cannot stress to you how bad a decision you've made. I can't stress how important it is. I need you to lose at this game so I start looking better.

Okay. All right. So I will just take one of these cards. You're betting now. Oh, yep. Sure. I was just looking. You're betting now and placing one card face down and passing one card to the right.

Sure. But I already bet with the hundred croon that I put in. No, that's a blind. That is just to enter into the round. I bet 600 croon. Zark, where did you get the croon? That is none of your business. Okay, fair enough. This is my ninth round

and I can't wait! I'm gonna put in 500 croon and I like to deal in and out. That is fair. Great, great. So I'll just pass this card to the right. That means you automatically lose the round. What? I thought that was part of it! There's a bet of

600 and 500. You can choose which one you wish to match. Okay. I guess I'll match 500. I'm getting pretty close to the bottom of my croon already. You are committed to playing an entire 11 rounds. Cool. Would you like to speak to the pit of my croon already. You are committed to playing an entire 11 rounds. Cool.

Would you like to speak to the pit boss and extend a line of credit? Is that possible? Oh, yes. Great. I'm sorry, Dexter. What are you doing? Ah, my high roller.

Hello, hello. And I just, I forgot to grab my croon tube. All right, well, I can extend a line of credit. Hey, perfect. All right, so what are you putting against that oh i just gonna play a couple rounds old nortan what do you not know how credit works usually you have to put up a piece of collateral right oh um uh i guess my droid no no all right the droid is in as collateral. I hate when they do that.

You have to show an ownership deed, and he does not have that. What brings you fellows here to the casino? Just hanging out quietly, mostly. Just seeing what's what. All right. Now turn over half your hand. Okay. Top half or bottom half?

Top half. Okay. Oh, I see your hand adds up to a prime number. Yes, it does. All hands must be picked back up and passed to the left. Oh, that was, but, so this isn't my hand anymore. No. No.

It was good though, right? Are you having fun? I'm, I sort of. I feel like I may have missed a couple key rules at the very top of it. I'm a Sury Dexter. You have not even heard one percent of the rules of running our town. Can I interrupt his round and do a back-to-back? Yes, you can.

I'm sorry, what is a back-to-back? You do that with six individual cards, which are then paired with additional cards. They can bet on each additional hand. Okay, see, I'm getting this. And then I have to name them. You have to name them. I'm going to name mine Daniel. Daniel.

Daniel. And Daniel. And Daniel. And Daniel. I thought there were six cards, though. All right, Hyrola, here's your crew up against your droid-ass collapse. This shouldn't be possible. C53, listen, I'm really sorry about this. And Zim, I'm sorry, ma'am.

Oh, no. Well, that was your 10th round. Yes, that was your 10th round. Well, here you go. All right, then. What? No. No.

Oh. Oh, okay. High roller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're about to meet one of our biggest high rollers here at the casino. Whoa. Oh, I can't wait to see two high rollers go up against each other. Now, do you supply those

trumpets, or? No, those are his. Wow. Cool. Yeah, I love this guy. Here he is, folks. Hey, thanks so much. D34LR, how are you, my friend? Mr. Ash, thank you. It is so great to see you again. I'm sorry,

your name is Mr. Ash? Uh, yeah. Foe Enix Ash. Foe Enix Ash. Yeah. Great. That really rolls off the tongue. That gown that you are wearing is incredible. Where did you get that? Thank you.

It was custom. Ah. Mr. Ash, would you like me to load another shoe? Uh, yeah. You know what? I like this table. I like the vibe here. Let's load two shoes. Just one moment. Yeah.

Um, yeah. It's a good thing you're out here now, because some old lady just got drowned. Oh, man, I missed it. So she lost that round, which means we won the first round? No, the house won. Okay. If someone is drowned, the house wins. Okay. If someone is drowned, the house wins.

Got it. Okay, sure. Now, just in case, and there's not, but just in case there was someone at the table who had no idea how to play this game. Well, I would tell them to watch Mr. Ash. That's it, yeah. Yeah, so, uh, tell me about your, uh, robot friend over here. Oh, uh, this is, uh, Collateral your robot friend over here.

Oh, this is... Collateral. Mr. Collateral. Oh! This is C-17. He's just a good old droid. We have a rapport between each other. We do have a good relationship where one of us offers sound, well-reserved advice

and the other one ignores it entirely. Yeah, sometimes. Let's get that second round going, huh, D3? 100 crewed blinds. Yeah. Okay. Let's get that second round going, huh, D3? 100 crewed blinds? Uh, yeah. Okay. And there's your 10 card. This one's actually 10 cards, but it's 20 cards. Yeah.

I'm very... I'm very... Oh. Wait, what is this? Hey, there they are. Good to see you, boys. Hey, boys. That's a crew to help drown people. Sorry, how many questions have you asked about the game at the table so far? Just a couple, just to make sure that it...

He is currently three short of making a dupe. Oh, no. Okay, well. Okay. I know that this is one of my three. But a loop is bad, right? A dupe, not a loop. A loop is something entirely different.

That sounds like two questions that were asked. I think it sounds like two indeed. Oh, I'm so sorry, my friend. Let's reload those shoes. 100 chrome blinds. It is a good thing I have this tube of credit. You know, I got a question. Because you do seem

fun, and I do like you. So I want to ask your husband here how much would it be for a night with your beautiful wife over here? Wait, are you referring to me? Of course, Corp. Oh yeah. So how much for, and I'll tell you

no price is too high when the proposal is this indecent. I love it. Why are you here? Why are you still here? I'm the pit boss. I'm the greeter and I'm the notary public when an indecent proposal happens. Yeah, so you do have your stamp, am I right?

I do indeed. All right. No price is too high? No price is too high. I'm faux Enix Ash Faux Enix, can I ask you What does a night with you entail? Oh man, well

The first thing that we would do is We would sit down on a bench We would look into each other's eyes deeply And then after ten minutes On the count of three We would try to guess what the other person was thinking We would keep yelling guess what the other person was thinking. We would keep yelling words at each other until we said the same word at the same time.

Oh, great. And then I would take you on the deck. The deck? Oh, yeah, the deck. Of my planet crusher crusher. What? Can I just... Did you say planet crusher? No.

I said planet crusher crusher. I would love to see something so large that it could crush a planet crusher. Well, if you stick around with me a little bit longer, see what a planet crusher crusher does, and let me explain this to your beautiful face and eye. My eye isn't really supposed to look like this, but... You know what? A planet crusher crusher is the thing that eliminates the evidence of the thing

that has destroyed a planet. Great. Cool. That's good information to know. Hold that thought. Ahem. Oh, I'll call him. All right.

Corp C-17. Oh, word. Yes. Just word of quick... We will call it a recess. Yes, we will call it Dern. Thank you. Oh, gavel, gavel, gavel.

I allow it. That last part sounded pretty interesting. He's talking about a ship that crushes planet crushers. C-53, you mentioned that a while back, and I always thought it was sort of a theoretical, but it sounds like that's a real thing. But let's revisit the fact that he wants to pay me to spend a night with you. It sounds too good to be true. I mean, I get rid of you for a night, I get a whole bunch of croon and...

I think we'll get to that in just a second, Dar. I'm terrified of that, by the way. Oh, he sounds pretty pleasant. Yeah, what's the worst that could happen? What are you talking about? You get... You sold me to a casino. Okay, well, I've collateraled you to a casino do you understand how

credit works i'm going to win it all back or oh you did deserve that or instead of winning it all back we just get it all from this very charming individual. And, you know, everything's square. C is fine. You get to experience something that honestly, wish it was me. How are you not into this guy? I am. What? My flaps

will not stop shaking. I don't... Are you kidding? No. There is something about this. His hair is so greasy and he has all those rings. Plus he's a war profiteer. It's just the way he licks all of his chins when he's talking to you. Is it not completely arousing? I'm not into it.

And then we get to find out a little something about a little planet crusher crusher. All right, the recess is almost up. We should get the cover to the table. Okay. And not only that, he just says things with such confidence that I am ready to shoot. Okay. Yeah. Wow.

Would you like to shoot this hand? I would. All right. Double the bet. We are currently at six losses. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Better warm that river up.

I shall. If you're overly concerned, some of our more wealthy clients download their consciousness for a small fee. Oh, okay, sure. So after they drown, they can be reloaded into a new body. Yeah, that's great. Okay, yeah. It is only 17,000 croons. Okay, well.

And how much of a tube of credit has my dear Corp taken out here at the casino? Sir? Ah, yeah, okay. Ooh, that's a long tube of credit. It's really sneaking back there. Wow. There it goes. Into the distance.

Okay, so theoretically I can afford that. I hate to see a tube of credit that long. Well, at first, but if you were able to pay it back, then what's the problem? But I also do want to point out that if you accept my proposal, you will have a much longer tube of credit. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Because the notary public over here, the ink is wet on his stamp. I'm hovering. Listen, faux enix, listen. The ink is wet on his stamp. I'm hovering. Uh, listen,

faux-enix. Oh, the pit is empty. Reloading the pit and shuffling the chamber. Good plan. That's two more losses. Oh, seems like a win for you. Nope. Norm is up to currently 11 wins. Here's how people are putting down

cards as they've been talking and you've just been staring into space? C-17. What? Come here for a second. Okay. Minor recess? Minor recess.

C-53, don't you understand? I can't lose this game. I'm connected to the space. All I have to do is reach out with my feelings. I can see the cards before they're even flipped over. But you don't know what you're trying to do with the cards. That's where the space comes in. My hand just guides them where they need to go.

I haven't activated it yet because I was waiting for the stakes to get higher. I'm sorry, Dexter. If we never see each other again after today, which is very likely based on how things are going, I want to just say most of it has been very good. This has been a very frustrating day for me personally. Thank you, C-53. Wow, there's a lot of table talk happening.

All right, we're back. Norm, I just want you to know that I love your style so much. I have some fashion friends on a distant planet and i'm thinking about uh the idea of a fashion line called norm core based on your style i feel like it's something we should talk about later that sounds really really good yeah you know what you're at nine losses, my beautiful friend. And I feel like we are at what is called the river's edge. Is it nine already? Yes, we are at nine. Then in that case, I think it's time for me to go all in with my tube of credit.

Thank you. You just need to choose two cards. Pass one to the left and one to the right. Pick one card in the pit to flip up and one card in the chamber to flip down. Very well. You can swap two of the cards in your hand for one of the cards on the table and one of the cards from the player directly opposite of you. Take two cards. Pass one to the left and one to the right.

Pick one card in the pit and flip it up. Take one card in the chamber and flip it over. You can swap two cards in your subset of your suits with another player's cards. D3. I'm going to stop you right there, D3. I'm going to stop you right there. I know exactly what to do. Passing this card to the left. Passing this card to the right. Flipping this card in the pit and putting these three cards

on top of the stack of 16 cards to my right. Plek, there are 11 more steps and you cut them off before he explained them all. No, I think I pretty much... Sum the total of your hand. If it is under 20, you must reach across

the table, tap the rhythm of the anthem of Guddus, pull your hand back, put those cards back over. Say no more. Is this the card I need to win?

It was rhetorical. It was rhetorical. D34 LR. Do you have an assassin in your hand It was rhetorical. It was rhetorical. It was rhetorical. D-34LR. Do you have an assassin in your hand? If I do, it is this one. That is a two. Okay, yep.

And that is? Oh, that's a loss? Yikes. Mr. Ash, would you like to indecent proposal him before we drown him or after? Well, I feel like the way this is going, I'll do it afterwards. Wow. Did you hear that, Corp? He's going to wait until you're drowned to indecent proposal you.

Uh, hey. Oh, wow. Hi. Hey. Oh, my rod. It's us. Hi, guys. We know who it is. Pamela and Wink. We want to play.

We want to play. Well, we're about to have an open seat. Yeah, this beautiful woman here is about to be drowned in that river of yonder. I'm actually... D34LR, we're actually willing to play Milsh Holdem Royal Nortan. Oh, my. That means we'll play for Corp over here as well. Yes, your life is now their blind.

It is worth 100 croon. Cool. Sounds about right. Bink, what do you think? I don't know, Pamela. Do you guys know who we are? Yes, we do. Okay, sweet.

We've been told to be very under the radar. We're both really into our characters right now. We're all so full of dust. We're so dusty. Okay, okay. And scene. Okay, so... There's your card.

Yes, we've got the cards. Thank you very much. These tables are completely soundproof underneath. I'm really impressed. They're very high quality tables. It's a very high class casino. We're ready to make our move. All right.

I've got two heliofants in the chamber, a stone, a gem, a twinkle. And then I actually am rolling a die right now. Would you like to spin additional? I would, please. Here's the spinner. Thank you. And then I think that's the rhythm that you were looking for

Yes, it is, sir Impressive Bink and I are one, so Bink, go for it Okay, I'd like to put the second one on the third one And then put the fifth one on the twentieth one But don't put it on the fifteenth My eyes are on you No worries, ma'am And I'd like you to take the third one and then the fifth one on the 20th one but don't put it on the 15th my eyes are on you and then i like you take the third one and set it on fire but then bring it back to life

and then set it free and then we'll know what we got this game is so easy yeah oh triple zing oh that's oh pamela Zink win the entire round. Wow. They're so good. That includes winning you, Corp, and C-17, which you put up for collateral, and Norm, you come out completely even. Great. I've never been in at the table when someone's hit a triple zing before. It's very rare. So weird.

Oh, and that means 12 losses for Phoenix in that hand. Oh, no. Which means drowning. Oh, no, certainly there's a way around this. Oh, no, the rules of Royal Northside are very strict. You know, when I was born, a prophet looked over my body and said two words, River, Phoenix. Oh, no.

And I feel like the prophecy's been fulfilled. I mean, I guess so. Sir, river. Okay, guess enix. Oh, no. And I feel like the prophecy's been fulfilled. I mean, I guess so. Sir, river. Okay. All right. Faux enix, before you go, I just, I feel bad. I, you know, like, I just, I'm sorry I couldn't reciprocate your feelings. But maybe before you get drowned, we could try that, try that ritual you were talking about.

Oh, you mean where we stare each other longingly and then we try to say the same word? Yeah, yeah. All right. Let's try one. Okay. Limousine. Limousine.

Wow, it went the first time. All right, time to die. Damn it, I really thought that was going to... All right. I thought that was going to burn. Alright. Oh, so in that final moment with him, Plek, you didn't think to ask, who did you sell the planet Crusher Crusher to? I just, I felt bad, you know?

It's not very often that someone's, like, attracted to me, and, like, you know, it wasn't for me, but I was like, hey, you know, I felt like we had a connection. Well, we've downloaded his consciousness up into our memory bank, so who knows? Maybe he'll come back one day. All right. Listen, C-17, I think it's probably time we got out of here. You know, it's customary to tip the dealer. Okay.

Hey, Bargy, where are the pets? They're gone. What? Bargy, there were two pets. I know there were two pets, and I got to the stage where our trust was made between us. I had games, and I sang it to sleep. Then I woke up, and... Vino ate pets. Yep. What? How did you do that? up and... Bino ate pets. Yep.

What? How did you do that? Bino opened mouth and ate pets. But the pets were so much larger than Bino. Doesn't matter. Pets are gone, so we're not doing pets anymore. I'm going into pout mode. Wait, what is pout mode? Pouting.

Oh, I see what's happening now. Pouting. Pouting. mode. I see what's happening now. You might notice some small differences from sleep mode. I'm pouted. I'm pouted. Yeah, no, I get it. I'm sorry, Dexator. I have an incoming transmission from Missions Operations Manager

Nermit Bumbalog. Hey, Nermit. Hello. How was the Reb talk? I wouldn't know. Did he sign your chest? I... What is that? It's visible just above your collar.

I'll have you know that I didn't go to the talk, okay? You just went to get the autograph. I didn't even mean to get the autograph, okay? I ran into Turk Maniket in the bathroom, and I You just went to get the autograph I didn't even mean to get the autograph Okay, I ran into Turk Manikin in the bathroom And Oh, and you had a marker No, he just said Hey little buddy, you want an autograph?

And I didn't want to be rude Listen, you don't have to apologize It's okay, we're our own team And you know, sometimes we do pretty well Because you know what? We found faux enix ash yeah yeah

whoa yeah yeah I mean indirectly yeah sure I mean this was going to be low pro it was not it was high pro it was pretty high pro we Got a little high pro.

It was pretty high pro. We also learned that faux-Phoenix Ash owned, at one point, a planet crusher crusher. A planet crusher? No, no. No. A planet crusher crusher. A planet crusher designed to crush other planet crushers. Oh, guys, this is huge.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It would have to be. It would have. Yeah. It would have to be. It would have to be. It would have to be bigger than something big enough to crush a planet. No, but I mean huge for us. And the real question is, who did he sell it to? Right.

Hey, my friend, a fellow ship, said you gave a really good rebtok. Oh. I have a clip. Mermit, you did a rebtok? No, I mean, they needed some... Play the clip, Bard. You know what? A lot of missions operations managers think it's about them.

Because you're the manager, but here's the real truth. At the end of the day, it's about your team. It's about your emissary. It's about your protocol droid. It's about your security officer. And it's about your protocol droid it's about your security officer and it's about your ship applause thank you I know

they didn't publicize this talk as much as the others and I'm glad you guys were still in the lunch room where's Turk Mack at coming out uh he's in the giant auditorium you know what Nermit I Nermit, Nermit. You know what, Nermit? I take it back.

That was really nice. Yes, I knew it. They did a second one about how to write music. Oh, no. Can we see a clip from that one? You did two RebTalks? Yeah, they've got ones at night where it's more of an entertainment focus. It's called RebX. It's slightly different. Okay. You got a clip?

So, weirdly, like, these keyboards have things just programmed into them. You can just look at this. I'm going to hit one button and listen to this beat, and I'm just going to riff on something I see. You know, like,

and you could pet all your pets on their heads and you want to go to bed, but you stay up late. Making art that could someday be real great. You want to be an artist, artist, artist, artist. You want to go the farthest, farthest, farthest, farthest. Do it, you can do it. You're all so great and beautiful.

So, you know guys, just follow your dreams Where's her mannequin? This is CRed IT5, credits and attributions joined commencing outro protocol. Emissary Plek Decksetter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Special Knoll. D34LR was played by special guest Christopher Scott. Chris is a writer and comedy person living in New York City. He performs nerd improv with Thank You Robot and teaches improv at the Upright Systems Brigade. He's written a couple of novels he doesn't let anyone read and loves Disney World. Follow him on Twitter at TheCAScott.

Phoenix Ash was played by special guest Matt Little. Matt also performs with Thank You Robot in Science! Every Month and Caveat NYC and co-hosts Lasers in the Jungle at UCB East. He is the guy who filmed the fabled pizza ride video, and you can follow him on Twitter at TheMattLittle. This episode edited by Seth Lind, with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Additional sound effects submitted by listener Rebecca Pridmore. Thank you, Rebecca. This episode was recorded at Robert Ducky Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York.

Music by Brendan Ryan. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom. A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making Season 2 possible. Eric Goif's. Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom. A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making Season 2 possible. Why is Bargy's Manifest short one signal balloon?

Uh, it's not. That's, maybe just get us one cent. It was the only thing that fit. Okay.