Mission To Zyxx - 208: It’s Not You, It’s Rolphus [ft. Alex Song]

Episode Date: July 18, 2018

The crew ventures on a rescue mission of sorts, in a real dumpy place. Dar has their own mission. Nermut prepares for a visit. Pleck learns about relationships. Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and Tezz Rynn Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Seesu Gundu Winston Noel as Rolphus Tiddle and Beano With special guest Alex Song as Joy Edited by Seth Lind Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Additional recording by Brett Boham at Forever Dog Music by Brendan Ryan Additional music by Shane O’Connell, Winston Noel, Moujan Zolfaghari and Jeremy Bent Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

It is a period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Now, Rebel Emissary Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Hey, Bargy.

Yeah? I have a question. Bino loves questions. Okay, we're already starting this off very annoying. Why? Because both Bino and I are talking? Yes. Okay. Listen, I know you don't have guns,

but I was looking out the window and there's those two, like, what? They're vanity. They're vanity guns? Whenever you do well in a movie, in a hollow, if you go top of the box office, they give you a vanity gun. Like what? They're vanity guns? Oh. Sure. Oh. Ah, okay.

Great. Dari. Ah, okay, great. Dara. Dara, you're really grinding the floor. Yeah, what are you doing? I'm experiencing just incredible itchiness and burning all at the same time. Oh, yeah, wow, this looks very uncomfortable for you, Dara. Dara, I actually have a limited amount of first aid training. If you want to flip over, I can try and diagnose you. Oh, boy, I got to get out of here.

Oh, sure. That's a lot of pustules. Beano loves puss. No, Beano, get out of here. Go. No, Beano. Dara, this looks like, you know, a fairly common STI. You know, it's just one of those things.

I hooked up while we were at the casino. And I may have caught something. Oh, no. AC53? Yes, Emissary Dexter. Something's going on with Darn. Like, first they chuck that corpse. Then they get an STI from a casino. Like, that's weird, right?

It's certainly out of character. Do you think maybe Dar, like, misses Nermit and is sort of, you know, flapping it up? Those aren't the words I would use, but yes, that seems like it. Okay, why don't we then just call Nermit and we'll get approval to go to a clinic and clear this whole thing up. That's a good idea. This is sort of an unusual situation. Should I send an outgoing transmission to missions operations manager Nermit? Sure, let's give it a shot.

It feels wrong somehow, but there we go. Okay, so, uh, good to see you. Like, uh, that's, uh, sorry it took me long to answer the door. I'm busy. Hey, Nermit. Hey. What are you... Oh, hey. Are you rearranging your office? Uh, yeah.

Um, my parents are gonna visit. So, I'm... Yeah, they're gonna come see my new digs. Hey. So, I was just straightening and everything, so, yeah. Where do your parents live? Politically, are they embarrassed you left the Federated Alliance? We just, like, try not to bring up politics.

Sure. You know what I mean? Are you worried that they're going to rat you out to the Alliance and the Alliance is going to come murder you? I wasn't. Oh, boy. I mean, it sounds like from what I've heard from your parents, they're kind of like, I don't know,

I would say loyalists would be the word that I would use. Yeah, they're pretty well-to-do, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, yeah, I mean, for Lurds. You're, the species you are is called Lurd? Yeah, we're Lurds. What is that? Okay. Beano loved that name. Does it stand for something?

Beano stands for Beano. Oh my gosh. Okay, chatty catties, get me to a clinic. Okay, all right. Listen, Nermin, we got to find a doctor or a medic or something. I need to requisition some medical expenses immediately. What? Fine, full disclosure, I hooked up with a roaring name, Chad.

Chad obviously lied. I can't believe I have to put in this request. I want you to feel better. What's happening? Hello? Hello? Hello? Is anybody on the speed?

Hello? Hold on. Hello? Hello? Hello, it's Sisu Gundu. Is this one of our ships? Yeah, we're sort of in the middle of something right now. Okay, that's not important.

Whatever that is, This is very important. A very famous member of the Rebellion has gone missing. Whoa, really? My... My ex. Your ex? Do you mean Commander Rolfus Tittle? We, as everybody knows, we had a falling out,

and we're separated. We're not divorced. Okay? We're separated. We're not divorced. Okay? We're separated. Yeah, I mean, it's none of our business. Are you saying Rolf is missing? He's missing. He hasn't liked any of my holo media and it's been a while and I just want to make sure he's okay.

Yeah, I was going to say. No, because I'm just putting it. If you can find him. Commander Gundu, did you call this channel because we're one of the best rebel emissaries? No, I just randomly put in numbers. I just hoped. But if you could find him. If you could find him.

But, like, what's the time frame on this? How soon do we have to find him? You know, soon. Okay. It's just our son is having a recital. Oh, Centurion Tittle, soon. Okay. It's just our son is having a recital. Oh, Centurion Tittle, right. I mean, and it's not like I care if he's not there. Sure, yeah.

No! What? I mean, find him. Commander Gundu, will you find him? And if he asks how I am doing, I am doing well. Anyway, okay, thank you, bye-bye. All right, pleasure to meet you. Commander Gundu, thank you for the...

Wow, okay, let's start checking planets. What? I don't think it really works that way, Nura. I think we need some leads, right? I know where he is. What? You know where he is, Bargy? There only could be one place.

He's in the dumps. Well, we know he's in the dumps. Sure, I'm sure he's disappointed, but... He's in the place called the dumps. Oh. Wait. Darn knows about this. Oh, I've sent many a being to the dumps.

When you are dumped, you are taken to the dumps. That's how you know you've been dumped. So, wait. The dumps is a place? A physical place? Yeah. It's an asteroid where broken-hearted people are abducted and deposited in a society of their own. No, I mean, I just... You haven't had a run-up? Sure, they weren't really... No, yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's probably mostly what it is, yeah. Sure. Well, okay. I mean, do you think that's where he is? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's probably, yeah, mostly what it is, yeah. Sure, sure. Well, okay. I mean, do you think that's where he is? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's an area of broken-hearted people who just don't have the stuff together. Oh, yeah. I'm a sorry, Dexter.

If you've never been to the dumps, I advise extreme caution. The people there are... Working through it. Yeah, just really going through a tough time, and it's very sad. Oh, boy. But guys, this is amazing. We can rescue Commander Rolfus Tittle for the

rebellion? What could be a more exciting mission? Okay, let's lay in a chorus. What? No. The thing's for Dar. Dar, can you and Bargy go and do that sort of as like an errand? I just don't feel like we need to be there for that. Okay. Did I say something wrong?

Can you gals just go to the doctor and take care of your bits together? I just feel like a trip to a doctor for an STI is... I mean... You gender neutral being and you ship that sometimes identifies as female

just leave and don't be on your own. I didn't say anything. Not... Okay, fine. Fine. Listen, I just... What, Nervid? I don't know a lot about the dumps, but I imagine it's probably a place with a good clinic.

A lot of people get dumped when their partner finds out that... What? What? What? I believe missions up. Mr. Sanger and RapidBunboy makes an excellent point. I imagine there is excellent STI care in the dumps. It's just that I've never been dumped, so I have

no idea what the dumps are like. Sure, you're not being taken there, though. We're choosing to dump them. Two Garfons with one strike. Sure. Oh, uh, hey there, guys. It's Counselor Ballwheat of the Council of Seven. Hi.

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dot com and code MTZ. Okay, great. Like, uh, all hail the Federated Alliance. Well, I am headed back into my nice meeting. And we turn the babies into killers.

Yes. I'm very comfortable. Welcome back. We were just discussing your stunning vacation photos. Yes, vacations. They're amazing. Awesome. Let me show you some.

Yes, we're all good friends. We're all friends. Yay! Guys, is there anything I should know before we go to the dumps? Like, before we get off the ship? Because I'm a little bit nervous about what I've heard. Well, just know that the people you encounter here at Emissary Dex Center are very emotionally fragile. So, I guess try not to do that thing you normally do and immediately poke at a person's most vulnerable area.

Do I do that? I mean, I feel like you do it a lot. All right, yeah, no, well, I will definitely keep it in mind. Bargy, lower the old hatch. All right, good luck. What is this music? Yeah, this music is just sort of playing all the time in here in the depths. Oh, it's very...

Oh, man. It's not great. Yeah, exactly. I think when you're in a certain emotional state, this kind of music can be helpful. Huh. Oh, boy. It's like, I thought we were soulmates. You know what I mean?

Like, I thought, like, we have so much in common. Okay, um, you, you crying thing? Hey, I'm not crying, and I am going through a lot right now. You sure are. Now, tell me, where did you go to get your STI cleared? How did you know? Did he tell you? Did he give it to other people too? No, no, no, come back. Come back. Okay, wait, this one. You, tell me where do I go?

Hi, welcome to the dumps. Oh, hello. Hi. You actually seem okay. Well, the thing about me is I don't really belong here, but I am the governor, so welcome. Oh, what? Would you like a tour? The dumps has a governor. Uh, yeah, they made me.

But, uh, you know, I'll be out of here any day now, so I'm just gonna fulfill my duties and be on my way. So, just come this way, I can give you a tour of the place. You guys, uh... You guys don't seem... No, no, actually, we're just sort of here on kind of like a... I would say like a diplomatic mission. I'm a Sariplek deck setter.

This is C-53, and this is Dark. Do you have a bathroom? A bathroom? Yeah. Yeah, this place is full of them. Those three are occupied, but the one on the end there, that should be empty. Oh, okay, great. No, there is someone crying inside of it.

Oh, boy. Oh, sorry, he had his feet tucked up, so you couldn't tell. Oh. Yeah, I don't think I got your name. Should I just call you Governor? Oh, Joy is fine. Uh, please don't... don't remind me I'm the governor of this place.

I'll be out of here soon. Joy! That's a great name. Well, you know, I gotta... Well, thank you. I gotta say, everything I heard about the dumps, I expected this to be a real downer, but you just seem like a real upbeat young lady.

Yeah, just like your name. Well, yeah, you know, tell that to the next guy. I shouldn't be here. Yeah, yeah, sure. Wait, what does that mean? How do you get off of the dumps? Oh, you know, the panel just decides that you're ready, and I've been before them so many times, and I just, I can't seem to catch a break.

Well, hey, I mean, yeah, if you need anybody to vouch for you, just let us know, because you seem like a very helpful, cool person. I must ask, how many times have you been before this panel? Oof, okay, well, I try to schedule a meeting every day, so

I would say that's 432 times. Oh, that's a long time. And now, have you left and then come back? I'm confused. Yes, I've been gone and I've been back almost immediately. And I don't know what glitch in the system is causing me to come back because I just shouldn't be here. Huh. Well, that seems...

Did you have a relationship that ended? I had a relationship. It didn't end. Are you sure about that? Oh, well, you guys ask a lot of questions. Come, what can I help you with? Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. It's literally impossible to find a place to relieve myself. Every time I turn over a bush, there's someone crying in there.

I tried... His name was Joanne. I'm sure it was. Can you just move to the side so I can... Joy, if we could just keep this tour moving, maybe then I'll be able to find a place. Oh, sure. But the locals are real friendly.

Hey, sorry to interrupt. Just let me, do I remind you of my dad? I don't actually know. Do I remind you of my dad? You actually don't. Yeah, I don't really know. Exactly, I do not. So, sounds like somebody's wrong.

Governor Joy, are there adequate mental health resources for the people here in the dumps? It seems... Oh, no. It's a shame. No, no, no. We kind of don't believe in that kind of thing, so... You don't believe in that sort of thing?

Well, you know, yeah. I mean, you know, listen, I've obviously never been dumped, but it just sort of seems to me like, you know, you really just got to buck up, roll with the punches, and get on with your life. I just don't think that seems like very good practical advice for anyone suffering from heartbreak. No, well, then. Now, Joy, out of curiosity, is there a place where a creature such as myself could have a droid with medical knowledge. Look at my bits.

Oh, yes, I do see. It's burning and itchy, and at times it's almost like a constipation, but from the front. Wow. Oh, my gosh, yes. We have a full facility for that. It's just going to be on the other side of the asteroid, though. I see. And given the amount of foot traffic here, that could take you how long to walk?

Yeah, traffic's real bad here. Probably three to four days. That seems like too long. Okay. This will just be like a whole mind over matter situation. Oh, now you get this place. Great. Okay, wow. What is that noise?

That's my favorite noise of the day. It's time for the panel. With the panel? Do you mind if we join you? Maybe we can vouch for you and tell the panel how cool and normal you are. Oh my gosh, yes. I've only ever done this thing alone, so it'll be nice to have friends. Great. So, alright. Looks like we're here to see Joy again. The panel calls before itself the

governor. Joy. Joy. Hi, I'm ready to resign my position. Okay, Joy, let's go through the three questions we go through. Yes. I can't wait. Number one, how are you feeling today? Oh, real good.

Number two, how are you actually feeling today? Oh, I can't Number two, how are you actually feeling today? Oh, I can't feel anything, actually, so I would say that's pretty fantastic. Number three, for real, Joy, seriously, how are you feeling? Okay, I'm a mess. I can't stop eating. Good night, boys. See you tomorrow. Okay, I'm a mess I can't, I can't, I can't Oh, I see No, no No, guys, just give me one more

I had it at two questions Just leave it at the two questions Joy, would you like us to ask the questions again? Yeah You got this, Joy I think you can do it Why don't we do it backwards this time? Okay, yes

Okay, yeah, backwards sounds great For this, Joy. I think you can do it. Why don't we do it backwards this time? Okay, yes. Okay, yeah, backwards sounds great. For real, Joy. How? Like, seriously? I can't do it! I can't! I just can't! I wake up in the morning, I date looking at myself. Stop stamping it! I wake up and I can only think about one thing. And then, okay, how did I do? Not great, Joy.

Okay. Alright, Joy. Same time tomorrow. All right, okay. Oh, boy. You know, Joy, you know what I said earlier about just kind of muscling through? I don't think that's going to work. I think you need to, like, talk it out with somebody. Maybe you can find somebody else in the dumps who's, like, going through the same thing you're going through.

I mean, um, that would require me to be going through something, so. Oh boy, wow, we are back at square one, aren't we? You guys, you guys going to the dumps bar? Oh, there's a bar here? It is happy hour at the bar. Cool. Did you just come from there, or are you going, yeah?

In and out, baby. That's actually the happiest place here. We should go. Okay, yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, let's go, I guess. Hey, Joy, I have a question. Yes. So obviously everybody here has just been dumped.

How many people hook up here at the dumps? Oh, I would say about 80% of the population. Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, yeah. And it doesn't, I imagine it doesn't work out. It's never good. It's never good. Oh, wow.

The stare you just gave me was yikes. Alright, well we can just move on then. Let's go to the bar. Alright, sure. Hey, Dar, are you okay? I'm just trying not to scream. Dar, I have a a question you know like when you get heat or whatever my monthly yeah what that burns everything off so maybe you just maybe just

wait for that and then you're good to go um my monthly is actually a little late this month. Oh my, oh my gosh. Darn. Wow. Does that... Why are you freaking out? Does that mean you might be pregnant? Shut your wet mouth. What? Ow! Wow.

I'm not pregnant. That's not how this works. I thought that's what you meant. Like if it was late, that might mean that you were... No, it just means I'm gonna burn a lot hotter this month. Oh.

Okay. Alright. But then what are you worried about? I just... No, it just means I'm going to burn a lot hotter this month. Oh, okay. All right. But then what are you worried about? I just, it's going to come in real hot. Okay. Oh, man. That got me thinking. I was like, Nermin?

Was it Chad? Was it Alan? Wow, this bar is large. I guess it makes sense. You want a large bar here on the dumps. Nope, same song. What does that mean? See, do we think that the only music that they listen to on this asteroid is the same one artist?

No, there's actually a number of artists. There's a lot of sad women who play piano. Sure. I saw him in the cloud. So there's a good example of that. I saw my life within. Oh, wow. But he is now a cloud.

He's a clown? And I have just no idea. I think she said cloud, but I don't know. It's really open for interpretation. Well, Governor Joy, you've been some helpful queen. Buy you a drink? Oh, sure. All right, what can I get you?

Oh, boy. Wow. What's up? This is crazy. See if this is the same bartender. Welcome to... Oh, you've been here before? I don't recognize you.

Hey, listen. Sorry, do you work at the Milch Hotel Bar, Rooftop Bar? Yeah, I'm in two different places right now at the same time. No, I mean, have you ever worked there? No, I don't work at the Milch Hotel Bar. That's Dez Nuck. Oh, Dez Nuck. Dez Nuck works at the Milch Hotel.. Dez Nuck works for Millshotel.

My name is Tezzerin. Tezzerin? Tezzerin. Man. Sorry. You know what's sorry? I gotta be honest. I just went through a breakup.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense. I'm sorry. Before the breakup, which bar were you working at? It's weird. I was working here, but in a relationship, and then I just got stuck here. Wow, yikes.

That's a shame. So they hired an off-world... Generally speaking, you can't trust these dump people to work the bar because they just drink it all down. Yeah, that makes sense. But now you work here. Are you drinking a lot? Yeah. Okay.

Do you have any power? Only low power. You know what I'm saying? No, that's okay. I'll take low power. All right, there you go. Pinky? I'll take an orange beer.

Okay. Joy, what are we getting you? Oh, just a shot of anything. Anything brand bushka for the governor. Thank you. And here's your orange beer. Thank you. And, uh...

Rubbing alcohol. Wow. On the double. Excuse me, let me grab that orange beer from you. No, I was at... Oh, yeah. I was actually... Oh, wow.

Not really. You know what? I'll get you another orange beer. Uh-oh. What? Where's You know what? I'll get you another orange beer. What? That was our last orange beer. How is he? Sorry about that, friend.

I, uh... He ate that whole glass. Yeah. Did he just chew it right through it? Yeah. Jeez. Joy. Oh, hey. I didn't know you'd be here.

Hey. Hey, baby. How you doing? Whoa. Oh, what? Joy is fine. Are we not saying affectionate terms? What's going on?

Hey, C-53, can I talk to you guys for a second? That's Rolfus, too, right? Yeah, that's Rolfus, too. Okay, I'm just making sure. But he's not broken up about Sisu. No, he's clearly... He's hung up on Joy. Listen, Joy, I'm not hung up on Sisu anymore.

Oh, okay. I don't care, Rolfus. You can do whatever you want. We're just having fun. That's it. Okay. Hey, Rolfus, what's going on with you, man? What's going on with you, man?

Oh, hey, listen, listen, listen. I don't know if this is a good idea right now. Rolfus. Huh? My bro. Okay. Let's just, right? Rolfus. Huh? My bro. Oh, okay. Let's just, like, have another drink. Yeah, why don't you and Dora go grab a drink?

Okay. Hey, Joy, are you dating Rolfus Tittle? I, uh, you know dating's a strong word. I mean, it's like we're hanging out, but it's not... I thought you said that was a really bad idea here. Oh, sure, but it's not that bad if you don't care. Yeah, I guess. The thing is, I'm fine because I never got broken up with. I'm still in a steady relationship back on my home planet.

Oh, boy. Yeah, what's your partner's name? Greg. Okay. Tell us about Greg a little bit. You know, we haven't caught up in a little bit, but we're just trying to give each other

a little space. Sure. Like a long-distance relationship. Yeah, and, you know, long emotional distance and trying to respect each other's boundaries. Can I ask Joy, what did he say to you the last time you talked? Okay.

You know, I replay it in my head all the time. Sure. He said, I no longer have feelings for you. I never felt about you the way you did about me. Wow. I don't think we should see each other anymore. Okay. I actually am married.

What? I have two kids. Huh. And this has been a huge mistake. Right, wow. And you're still in a relationship with Greg. Yep. He never said we're breaking up, so. Okay, right, great.

He never said we're breaking up. He never said I'm dumping you. Oh, boy. Wow. Yeah, I'm... I'm dumping you. Oh boy. Wow. Yeah, I'm I'm good. I'm good. Wow, you're way drunker than you were. They got orange beer back.

And he started drinking the rubbing alcohol I ordered. Oh wow. I drank the puss alcohol. Oh, you should not do that. What is that? Joy, I need to talk to you. You should not do that. What is that? What? Joy, I need to talk to you. Okay, what is it, Rolfus?

Do you want to go fool around again? You got friends here. I think that'd be inappropriate. No, I think we need to take some distance from each other. I think we need to have some emotional from each other. I think we need to... Okay. I think we need to have some emotional distance as well. Okay, all right.

I no longer have feelings for you. Oh, boy. I... Did you... I don't think I... What? I never felt for you what you felt for me. Oh, boy.

In fact, I was married. Oh, this is true kids Oh boy Did somebody tell you Did you overhear what we were talking What No this is breaking up with somebody What no you're just saying everything

That Greg said to me Because you think you're funny or something You're not in a relationship with Greg And you're no longer in a relationship with me. Oh boy. You're free. You're frat. What are you saying?

What are you saying? I am dumping you, Joy. And honestly, Greg dumped you too. Look at... Hey. Last call on happy hour. Okay, I don't...

Yeah, I don't think we need anything else. Then stick around for Supercell Poetry Reading Night. Have I been dumped? Is that... Is that what happened? Joy, I realize this is an emotionally tender moment for you, but... Yes, you've been dumped. Not once, but apparently twice.

Yeah, that was... Rolfus, I don't fucking care about... Well then, just the once. But really, Greg? Yeah, bye Greg. I'm so sorry, Joy. Do I... I... belong here? Joy, if you want to hook up or something right now... No, Rolfus! Rolfus! What the hell happened here? Joy, if you want to hook up or something right now... Rolfus! Rolfus!

What the... Chuck is wrong with you. Go away by the door, Rolfus. Rolfus, I think I just need to work through some feelings right now. I don't think that would be a good idea. Don't want me to just jiggle your blobs

a little bit? What are you... You know, any other day I would have said, oh boy, sure. But not today, Rolf. Not today. Now coming up on stage

with some spoken word is Joy. Joy, let it out. Signed myself up while you guys were talking. Oh, wow. Okay. Joy, let it out. Signed myself up while you guys were talking. Oh, wow. Okay. Joy let it out, sister. I felt fine.

In fact, I felt nothing at all. Say it! But today, I realized that I feel bad. Yeah. And that feel bad. Yeah. And that's okay. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I feel really bad. I feel really bad right now, and I probably will for a while.

And, you know, I've never performed in front of people before, so I really appreciate you all being here. You're natural. Your emotional honesty is compelling. I'm going to dump you. Thank you for listening. My name is Joy. Joy?

Joy? Yes? It's us. Yes. The panel. We're here at happy hour getting blasted out of our minds. Drunk as a bunk. Yes.

That's not what that is. I didn't recognize you guys. You're wearing funny hats? Yeah. Yeah. You're the spinner. What? You look very different with the funny hats. Listen, we know our panel's not until tomorrow, but we couldn't help but notice you're

working through something right now. Even though what you did up there wasn't really poetry, was it? It was really good, right? It was good. It was very good poetry, right? It took a lot of brain. It had, like, meter and, like, you know.

Did it? Okay. What you did was incredible, Joy. Your part was on the floor. You really wallowed in it, and we love that. You know, whenever we go to happy hour, we always bring our paperwork. Yes. That's right.

And even my stamp. So, Joy. Oh. Wow. Congratulations. You've been dumped, and you know. Joy, you just got approved. No, no, she's just gone through the first step. Am I going?

Yeah. Oh, I thought. How many steps are there? Four. Four steps. D-U-M-P. Sure. Denial.

Umbridge. Yep. Medication. Medication. Medication. And peace. And peace. Oh, wow.

Okay, yeah. Okay. I've never made it to Umbridge before. Thank you. All right. Well, Joy, hey, listen. I know this has been a pretty painful day for you But it seems like you're making a lot of progress

And I think you're going to step down as governor here Before you know it I mean it's going to be a long time Sure sure sure Okay You know the days are longer What? On this asteroid the days are longer

The days are long but the nights are longer Okay I'm sorry Are the members of the panel also dumped? Good question. Good question. Why are you looking at each other like that? All right, we gotta go.

We gotta go. Roll, sis. I'm fine. I'm fine to drive. Let me drive the spaceship. I'm good. I'm good for it I'm good for it, get down on the ground What, what is it?

What did you say? Did you say get down on the ground? I don't know what you're talking about Weird You have received an audio transmission from Rebellion Headquarters. Playback will follow decryption. What's up, my rebels? It's Sammo here with a super cool message.

Yeah, Sammo, tell him the message. Yeah, week, I'm doing it right now. Sorry, I am so dusted out. Yeah, we spent all our Road North 10 winnings on a big old bag of dust, baby. Hey, you can use that bag as a tent. Anyway, listen up. Support for our rebellion against the lame-o Federated Alliance... So lame.

...comes from Squarespace. Yeah, we, like, totally built the rebellion website using Squarespace. But, like, we did it because we're either on super important missions or totally does that out. Or both. Or both! But Squarespace is how the Rebellion built our awesome site, though Rebellion.space, where, oh, man, you can find a brand new, crazy, encrypted communique that we, like,

cannot figure out. We were like, we'll just do more dust. Yeah. And we can figure it out, but no. No. Sam-O, we're supposed to deliver a message. Wink, we're delivering the message now. But it's encrypted.

No, the encrypted message is on the Rebellion.Space, the awesome exclusive site for crazy rebel intel built with Squarespace. Yeah. It's got your Aniket's Revtop poster and Hark Tardigas and Vicecom. And a link to this crazy offer, a free Squarespace trial. Free? And a special discount. What?

When you buy a site or domain at squarespace.com slash zix using the offer code VYXX. That's crazy. That's a Dutch by Mother Jackers. The rebellion.space. And send. Because it's a message.Space. And send. Because it's a message. Yeah, just send it. Did we?

We did. Oh. Yeah. End of message. Hey, Nermit, we are all set. Rolfus is sleeping it off in my room. Oh, that's awesome! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What? He was not super happy about leaving. What's he like? He seems like he's amazing. Yeah, well... I think he's going to be fine. He's going to be fine. Wow, that's amazing. One of the rebel commanders is in the ship, the other rebel commander is going to be fine. He's going to be fine. Wow. That's amazing. One of the rebel commanders is in the ship.

The other rebel commander is going to be so happy. Yeah. What? Oh, man. Yeah, Nermit, your parents might be impressed that we're leaders of the rebellion. Yeah. I mean, I'll let them know when I talk to them. They're not coming?

It turns out they got their dates mixed up. My dad had like a Zyball match. Your dad still plays Zyball? He's pretty old for your species. No, no. He just was watching a match on Holo. Oh, that's much lower stakes. Yeah, but I mean, it's fine. I'm sure they'll come sometime. Yeah, I'm sure they're proud. Can we tell Sisu?

Oh, yeah. Hello? Hey, Commander Gundu. Emissary Dex Center here, just letting you know. I'm in the middle of my spin class. You know, I'm just getting my body hard. Really focusing on myself. When you're alone, you have so much time to be like self-care.

My face is glistening because all of my pores are gone. I have zero pores right now. How many pores do you see? You should have some pores, though. I have zero pores. Okay, all right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, he's safe.

He's with us. He's all good. Just sleeping it off. Oh, uh, he's sleeping. Sort of asleep. He sort of barfed a lot. Okay, good. So he's not doing well, is what I'm hearing.

That feels good. Okay. Well, Commander, thanks so much. Just happy to help. Feel free to snap a photo of him. Of him asleep? Not doing well. It seems like an invasion of privacy.

Okay, have fun. Long live the rebellion. Long live the rebellion. Huh. You know, I gotta say, I think the pendulum has swung. I think Sisu is maybe in a little bit of a denial about the whole situation. She reminded me of Joy a little bit, to be honest. Hey, I'm back here.

I just wanted to say I am doing well. I just finished my spin class. Cool. And now I'm just running. I wanted to zap on in to let you know that my body is hard as a rock on top of a mountain. He's still asleep. Yeah, he's still asleep. Good.

Now, was he with someone? He is alone? I don't care! I don't care! Long live the rebellion! Long live the rebellion. She hopped off a spin class bike and immediately began running. Something is...

Quick, Bong, I'm back! I just wanted to check in! How about we'll call you when he's away? We are about to jump to hyperspace, so... You know what is hyperspacing? This tight dress I have on. Look at it. Isn't it tight?

Wow, that is like a ball gown. Because I'm going on a date. Can you hear this? He is so pissed out. Okay, well, if you want to have this picture of me on my date just out in your ship. Yeah, you don't need to. Just put it out there. Sure thing.

All right. Okay, goodbye, Logs. It's a rebellion. Oh, it's a rebellion. Guys, amazing job. See you soon. All right, Nerman. See you later.

You know, guys, I think I really learned something important about relationships today. Wonderful. Congratulations. Thank you. Excuse me. No, no, no. Now, Dart, actually, this kind of involves you, because, you know, we all have different ways of dealing with being separated, Dar, from the

person you may care about most, Norman. I'm feeling very flustered right now. Very flushed. Don't be embarrassed. We all have our ways of dealing with stuff. Sometimes coping means, you know, hanging out with a Roran named Chad or a corpse named Alan. Now, C-53, I'm not gonna just walk away from an uncomfortable conversation. We have to talk this out because we are friends.

I care about Don. Fire in the chutes! Oh! I felt that, I felt that. Oh, wow, that's... It's like looking at Vanquishian birds. Wow. This is SeaRed IT5, credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol. Emissary Plank Decksetter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn. Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship and Rebel Leader Sisugandhu were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Missions Operations Manager Nermin Bundeloy and the Dump's Bartender were played by Seth Lind. Rebel Commander Rolfus Tittle and Vino were played by Winston Null.

Joy was played by special guest Alex Song. Alex has appeared on Girl Code, The Week Of, and The Chris Gethard Show, and has written for The Tonight Show, Night of Too Many Stars, and Comedy Knockout. She co-hosts Asianian af at the ucb theater in new york city follow her on twitter at alex snog this episode edited by seth blinn with sound design and mix by shane o'connell this episode was recorded at robert doggy jr's puppy pound in brooklyn new york and forever dog studios in los angeles music by brendan ryan opening chrono region by jeremy

crutchley ship design for the bargerian jade by eric guise mission to zix is brought to this Thank you. Thanks, Audioboom. A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making Season 2 possible. This episode features original improvised breakup songs by Winston Knoll, Shane O'Connell, Mujan Zulfagari, and Jeremy Benn. Check out their music videos and plenty more rewards on our Patreon at patreon.com slash vision to zix. Check me in to speed. Check me in to speed. I can't look at all the dude.

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