Mission To Zyxx - 209: Altar Boy [ft. Lennon Parham]

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

The crew is deployed to a mysterious planet to secure cool tech for the rebellion. C-53 makes a call. Bargie and Dar are done. Pleck is finally useful? Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as Beano and Teela Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Neela With special guest Lennon Parham as Gellen Edited by Seth Lind Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Additional recording by Brett Boham at Forever Dog Music by Brendan Ryan Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

This is SeaRed IT5 with a quick reminder. Our Los Angeles live show is this coming Sunday, July 29th at Dynasty Typewriter at the Hayworth. Watch us create a new episode on the spot with live sound effects and vocal effects featuring special guest John Gabrith. Tickets at DynastyTypewriter.com It is a period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, Rebel Emissary Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Be no hungry. Be no. Be no hungry. Be no, we just gave you food. Beano hungry.

Okay, hatch is opening. It looks like some people are back. I gotta say, I was scared to do that mission without Dora, but I think we nailed it. Oh, hey guys. How'd it go while we were gone? Beano hungry. Oh, still. You guys now feed Beano?

Oh. Oh. We fed him. We've done many things to make this little thing continue to exist. And where were the two of you? What took so long? Oh. We were on a mission.

It was supposed to be a fast turnaround. Did you just? I mean, it was a fairly quick mission by our standards. We were forced to compete in an ancient ritual. But we were victorious. Yeah. We did it. Victorious? We did it.

Yeah, provided us with the surprises of a traditional flatbread. You won bread? Yeah, well, I mean, but that's a big deal on this planet. It was a cultural exchange. We were the breadwinners. Did you go out with the boys afterwards and celebrate? It's part of the ritual. Here's the thing, okay?

I'm going to let you in on a little hot tip. Don, I got to talking and realizing we've had enough. Of what? Of all the things we have to do. Listen to us. We're done. We're done.

What does that mean exactly, being done? It means the thing that is started and continuing. We are done. I know what done means. What does that mean exactly, being done? It means the thing that is started and continuing. We are done. I know what done means. I know the definition of done. You just feel like we're doing a lot of the lifting here.

I mean, physically, I'm doing a lot of the lifting here. Tara, that's because compared to me, you're incredibly strong. See, it's like you don't even want to try. And it's like, um, hello, I'm the only one flying. No, Bargy, I... I'm the one going through the journeys into space. Where are you? Am I correct? And here's the thing.

Bargy has a career. She doesn't just want to fly you around wherever you want. She has a career that she is after. Okay, listen, guys. And guess what? Long story short, I'm after. Okay, listen, guys. And guess what? Long story short, I'm done. Okay, listen. Be no hungry.

I have been trying to teach Be No proper syntax for months, and it has yielded no fruit. Be No no like syntax. These are frequently the end of our lessons. Anyway, darn, I have had enough of having all the responsibilities. Oh, this box of rolls that they gave us? Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have put them in the center of the room. Get out of there! Those are traditional.

So, how long is Bino's digestive tract? It seems like that's... Short. It's incredibly short. Very short, yeah. Listen, Dar- Bargy, I mean, maybe we don't say it enough. We really appreciate both of you. And, you know, I'll try a little bit harder to... It's too late.

Okay. Yep, we're going on a trip. Wait, what? You heard her. You're going on a trip. Wait, what? You heard her. You're going on vacation? Yes. All right. Now, Bargy, are you going to, like, send your consciousness somewhere?

Because, like, I can't really exist in space without being inside you. Are you going to... Oh, see, there's something else you're responsible for. Beano know that Bargy and Dar also carry the mental load of responsibility on this ship. Yep, thank you so much, Beano. Thank you, responsible for. Bino know that Bargy and Dar also carry the mental load of responsibility on this ship. Thank you, Bino. That was a pretty full sentence. Bino, maybe you're getting through to him.

No, I'm trying. I'm a Sary Dexeter. I have an incoming transmission from missions operations manager Nermit. Hey, Nermit, what's up? Hey, guys. Oh, you's up? Hey, guys. Oh, you want to tell us about your day? Do you need to emotionally

unload? What? No. Bargy and Jar no take the emotional load anymore. Yep, we're done. We've had enough. So just give us the mission, Nermit. Okay, alright. We've walked into a bit of a dispute between the crew. Okay. Yeah, Nermit, what's our leave situation?

If Bargy and Dar wanted to go on a vacation, could they do that? Let me pull up the SR system here. I'm going to check the number. Okay, so it looks like Bargy has accumulated. Oh. It says zero. I don't know. I don't.

How does that? Wait. What? I don't. How does that? Wait. I think it's because Bargy doesn't go on the bargy drops you guys off and it's like I just I just It seems like Bargy's taking me? I don't want it.

She's I'm taking it. Do you want it? Maybe you should just give us our mission. Okay, yeah. Your mission. Guys, this is exciting. You ready? I'm excited.

Have you heard about the Society of Zootopia? Zootopia? Yes. No. Don't be embarrassed if you hadn't because they're very secretive. There's tell of them, but there has not been much contact. There's rumor that they have extremely advanced technology, but they do not engage with other societies. But they have asked for a rebellion delegation to come.

That's us. It's us. That's great. I mean, I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I feel like a planet with, you know, Topia in the name is probably pretty... Although I did say that about Magnificu, and I was wrong. They don't even have Topia in there.

No. Yeah, but Magnife was in there, and I was, oh, man, I was really... Very easily misled by prefixes and suffixes. No, I'm with Fleck here. I mean, like, all the little bits of Intel I've heard are like, this is going to be great. So, yeah.

What are we doing there? The communication said, desire to share technology with rebellion. Okay. Boom. Yeah, that seems almost too good to be true. Nah. Okay. Even you saying that seems too good to be true.

Yeah. Nah. Hey, Nermit, do I have a vacation day? Just one. Yeah, at least. Can I give it to Bargy? Let me check the system here, and no. Nope, I don't.

I just don't have time for it. Man, I think Bargy needs a vacation. Yeah, I know. Bino? Bino? Yeah. Bino, this doesn't involve you. Bino? It doesn't involve you. Bino, how is this? Guys, I'm going to send the coordinates.

Oh. All right, go get them. Thanks. This is bullshit. This is... bullshit. Oh. One new message. No encryption detected. Your Excellency, it is I, Lieutenant Bordoff. I bow low before your supreme power, bearing most excellent news.

The earlier logistical hiccups are cured. Cured! I was admittedly despondent, wondering how in Rod's name we could find 10,000 qualified tug ship pilots in the Zik Squadron. But then I found Zip Recruiter, and it was a snap. It's the one place where hiring is simple, fast, and smart. Where growing businesses connect to qualified candidates. And ours, ours is a growing business to be sure. I mean yours, yours, sir, my master. Yes, I found these skilled tug ship pilots at ziprecruiter.com slash zix. And now, now, the device is officially en route from the late Phoenix Ashes estate.

These pilots have sworn to secrecy on their very lives, so the others in the council shall be none the wiser. How did we find such loyal souls? Well, with their powerful matching technology, ZipRecruiter scanned an enormous amount of resumes, an insane amount, ZipRecruiter scanned an enormous amount of resumes, an insane amount, to find people with the right experience and discretion and invited them to apply for the job. It's so effective that 80% of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Speaking of first days, the day of reckoning nears, my lord. I am shivering with excitement for your ascent. And excitement to fill out our fearsome royal guard with qualified individuals at ziprecruiter.com slash zix. In fact, it can be tried for free by anyone at that exclusive address, ziprecruiter.com slash zyxx. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Your servant, signing off.

Then I'll click include. That probably worked. Message deleted. Message deleted. Wow. Holy crap. C-53, this place is amazing. It is. Very clean.

Well said, Hull. Welcome. To Zootopia. Whoa! You can teleport? Well, yes, of course. This is Zootopia. Yeah, You can teleport? Well, yes, of course. This is Zootopia. Yeah, sure.

I can't do that. I don't know anybody who can do that. I can do it, too. Whoa! We all can do it here. This is... In Zootopia. This is amazing. Well, hey, I'm Emissary Black Decksetter.

This is C-53 and Dar. We're here with the Rebellion. Ah, yes. Ah, the Rebellion. I am Tila. Ah, Tila. Assistant to the Chosen Leader. Oh, great.

I am Nila, Assistant to the Chosen Leader. Tila, Nila, got it. And you're both assistants. You're not like a first assistant, second assistant type thing? There is no class system. There's no class system. Yeah, that's better, honestly. Class systems are built on violence.

Oh, is that true? Think about it. Yeah, no, yeah, I guess I'm... There won't be violence here. Sure, great. That sounds incredibly relaxing. And Dara, I don't think I've ever seen you this laid back before. I just feel like there's good energy here. We try to maintain

a high level of good energy here. Also, our electronics are insane. Really? Oh, that's a technology thing? I thought maybe it was like a species thing, because you guys look like tellurians, but you have sort of these weird ridges on your head. Weird ridges? I probably shouldn't have said it like that.

And you said it so loud because you were trying to have them hear it from across the room? Yeah, I know. Yeah, that was... Take you to the Chosen One. Sure, great. Whoa. Wow.

Hello. I am the chosen leader of Zootopia. You may call me Gellan. Hello. Hi, Gellan. Greetings, Gellan. Wow. Greetings. Please don't kneel.

Stand up in your full selves. Wow. Greetings. I, I... Please, don't kneel. Oh, uh... Stand up. He just does that. In your full selves. I sort of knelt without even thinking about it. Don't take that personally. He's just very easily cowed. Let us join hands.

Okay. Yeah, great. Wow. Neela, Teela, bring the flowers. Of course. Neela and Teela are great. Step into the flower circle. Oh, okay.

Yes, they are great assistants. Thank you. Thank you teal are great. Step into the flower circle. Oh, okay. Yes, they are great assistants. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. We now kiss your mouth. We kiss your mouth. I kiss your mouth. Wow.

Whoa. Wow, they are really kissing on the mouth. Yeah. Now, do we each get to kiss you on the mouth? If that is what you desire. Sure is. Oh. Your name is Dar, is that correct? Yes, it's like you really see me.

I feel that you are a fierce warrior. Undervalued amongst your crew. You have so much to give. You could just tell that by looking at me? Absolutely. Can't everyone?

No. I mean, I, listen, Darg, I am intimidated by you on a, I mean, daily basis. What is your name? Oh, I'm Plek. Plek Dexeter. Emissary. What a fabulous name with an insane amount of consonants. Yeah.

I mean, Rangus Six has some sort of dorky names. Dexeter's about as good as it gets, honestly. I mean, Zootopia, very cool. Where does that name come from? Oh, the founder of our planet was an amazing woman named Susan. Oh. Susan! Susan!

Oh! Wow. They called her Sue for short. Sure, sure. Common nickname. Take both my hands, for short. Sure, sure. Common nickname. Take both my hands, Plek. Yeah, sure. Stare deeply into my eyes.

Oh, boy. Your eyes are like bottomless. Can I just say you're maybe one of the most beautiful beings I've ever seen in my entire life? That's the first thing you notice about her? She's a chosen leader of this planet. I was so comfortable. I just, I'm sorry. Horror initiations.

I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to keep it professional, but this is, this is weird, guys. I'm like, I'm very, this is a strange place. Are you in touch with the space? Uh. Cool. Yes. Good.

I can tell. I feel like we have a connection. And I think it's gotta be the space. Sure, that's what it is. The less you can bring up the space during any of our diplomatic missions, that would be great. That would be really good. All right, fine.

Please, enter this... cave. So that we may sit and talk... Cave? About your mission. Uh, yeah, great. Teela, Neela, please get the sitting pods. Sitting pods, sitting pods, come on.

Sitting pods, here we go. Sitting pods, sitting pods, come on. Put your backs on the sitting pods. A soft place for your sweet cheeks. Sit. And you're seated. Oh. Is everyone comfortable?

Incredibly. Got just the right amount of candy. Galen, this is an amazing planet. How did you come to be leader of this place? I was chosen. That's why I'm calling you chosen leader. That makes sense. Yes.

And how does that is that like a it's a vote with our minds yeah exactly yeah cool i was hoping for some like a twist everyone has equal footing here in zootopia and even though we have advanced technological creations we all share them equally we have no theft in Zootopia. Ooh, that's good. It makes it very easy to order dinner. Sure, sure. Yes. No jealousy.

No violence. Dinner ordering again, very easy. It's just fun just to all be together and order dinner. We have large dinners. We do have a very flourishing dinner business here. Yes. Like a delivery situation or like people like to cook? All of that.

Yes, both. Okay. Now, do you split the check evenly or? What is check? Check. Check. What is check? What is check?

I am unaware of this check. I wanted to share with you this new technology we've developed. I have been watching from afar the great work that you're doing for the Rebellion. Oh. There is an innocence about your team. Yeah, that wouldn't be accurate. That is alluring to us. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty much my whole thing.

I have tiny gifts for each of you. Please accept this technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Technology. Open your tiny gift. Technology. Thank you. Okay, I'll just open this up.

Oh, wow. Place it on your neck. It will adhere to your neck. Don't be afraid. Much like, um... What's that called when people suck on their neck so hard? Hickey! Like a hickey?

Like a hickey. Thank you, Taylor. Thank you, Neely. Yes. Okay, yeah. How does the technology work exactly? It allows you to know what others are feeling. What is their true emotion? Oh, this is terrible. What's wrong?

Oh, just looking at you, I feel so bad. What? Why? Do you feel this way all the time? Describe it. Just the gross uncertainty about everything. Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah.

This is horrible. Oh, boy. What happens when you look at Dart? I feel great. What? Thank you. Relaxed and sure of myself. Also like a powerful sexual entity at the same time.

Whoa. It's honestly very good. I mean, I can see your emotions sort of like floating around you. This is incredible. Galen. Yes. This is...

What are you getting off of me? You're sort of embarrassed for me. Yes. Yeah, that's pretty accurate, actually. We will now pick you up and carry you to the Sea of Want. Whoa. Please relax into Tila and Nila and my arms.

Oh, wow. Yeah. There we are. Yeah. I'd like to introduce you to all of my peoples. Oh, okay. I'd like to introduce you to all of my peoples. Okay. They're all female.

Chosen leader Galen. Yes. Chosen leader, I've never seen a male of a species before. Is that what that pink one is? His face is... I wouldn't say pink exactly. It's just sort of like a light. I'm so sorry that Plek felt the need to correct you. Chilton, when I was speaking and I was interrupted.

That's never happened to me before. Sometimes it is difficult when you are not connected to the greater mind to know when someone else has finished their thought and they must end your thought in order to begin theirs. to the greater mind, to know when someone else has finished their thought, and they must end your thought in order to begin theirs. Which is why I waited this time. I didn't have anything to say. I just wanted to just show that I could do it.

Do what? Wait? Wait, yeah. For the end of my sentence? Good job. Do you want us to congratulate you for that? No, no, no. I just want to let you know, like, from here on out, I'm just going to listen. I don't believe that. Okay. Oh, boy. All right. Is everyone on Zootopia female?

That is correct. That is how we maintain such peace and such focus on emotional integrity. Must be some form of parthenogenesis, how they reproduce. Also explains why there's a female leader. Wow. There could be a female leader on a, you know, planet with both. I mean, of all the planets we've visited, how many of them have had female leaders? Not a ton.

It's a shameful state across the galaxy. Dar, you would make an amazing leader yourself. Wow, thank you. Shall we blow on Dar to accept her as one of our own? If she chooses. I would take a blowjob, absolutely. Absolutely. You are part, part of us tonight. You are part, duh, part of us forever.

Please welcome to these open bosoms and hold our hands tonight. Night, night. Almost did it. Teela, Teela, you don't quite have that range. Wow, Dar, what a ritual. The choreography is magnificent. I needed this so badly.

Please allow these dozen Zootopians to rub your body all over so that you may relax and release the tension that is built up from dealing with all of these hooligans. Thank you. You deserve it.

I love hooligans. This is a represent share. I just wish Bargy was here. Yeah, I think she would really... Let's call her. Oh. Here, I'll give you one of our galactic phones. Actually, we have communicators, so...

These phones can just call anywhere in the galaxy instantly. Okay. Usually, we need to have a transmission ID to call someone. Oh, hey. Hey, Bargy, it's just... Yeah. Bargy, it's me, Dar. Oh, hi, Dar.

And I, uh, I just, I really think that you should be here right now. I just feel like we should really be united. You know, all together with everyone here on Zootopia. It's just a really beautiful, perfect place. Oh, hey, Bargy. Hey, what's up, I get. Uh, this place seems nice. Uh, women, Bargy. Hey, what's up? How you guys doing? Oh, this place seems nice.

Uh, women. Good job. I can clap. Thank you. Bargy, how do you make those clapping noises? Is that, is there something inside that's clapping together? Is that like a sound effect that you're playing? Yeah, I just clap my engines, both of them together. I don't understand.

Yeah, don't, you shouldn't. Bang them hard, real hard. As hard as I can. Bang. Yeah, don't, you shouldn't, oh. Okay. You're right. You're right. Sorry, Gellan, go ahead. Well, Bargy, is it? What a beautiful, beautiful name for a ship.

It looks like it's been a while since you've had anyone take care of you. Sometimes it's nice if someone knows what you need without having to ask. Yeah, I guess. You're right. It's gas, right? Mostly gas? No, sorry, I... Really? You're right. It's gas, right? Mostly gas? No, sorry, I... Really? Farji, don't...

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... Please allow us to shine you up. Oh, I don't have enough croon for that. It's okay. Croon? Yeah. No, here, please. Money is no object here.

Oh, wow, someone's giving me a gift. It's been years. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, wow. Someone's giving me a gift. It's been years. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh. Oh, wow. Okay. Hello. It tickles, but it feels good. Yeah, the blowing feels good, right? Oh, the singing is magnificent.

I have the reaction. Tila, it's really not your fault. It's just Tila. It's just that she's beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you. C53, what do you need that you've never said out loud? I don't know.

We'll call them for you. Oh, it's... I'm not... I'm just speaking to them. I don't know. Hello? Uh, hello. This is C.

Why are you calling? I, to be honest, was sort of put on the spot, but I've been thinking about you for decades. You know what you did. I know, and I want to say... I'm sorry. C-C-53, who is this? This is really not the time for this. Just wait. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. This is, who is this? This is really not the time for this. I'm sorry.

This is a big moment for me. He's just wearing a sea captain's outfit. I'm trying to... Could you maybe use that device you just got to read my emotions? Fine. Go ahead. Sorry about that. You know what you did?

But you got a great energy about you right now. I don't know what it is. I forgive you for one of the things. Well, even that is... But I'm not going to forgive you for the other bigger thing. I understand. And this is where I leave you. C-53, are you okay?

No, I know I am not. Oh. But that was big. I've been thinking about that for a long time. Oh, wow. I mean, in, like, droids, a long time is, like, how long? It's the same for both of us. Okay, yeah.

I'm sorry. That's just a very emotionally raw moment for me. Wow. Did that have something to do with you being a boat? Okay, alright. He had like a corncob pipe. He had made the choice to have wooden appendages rather than metal. Yep.

Sure. Sure, sure, sure. There were seagulls. There were a lot of seagulls, yes. Chosen planet. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. Don't read too much into that. There were a lot of seagulls, yes. Chosen leader. Yes. When will they pay the price?

What? Huh? I'm sorry. You just told us that it didn't cost any croon to, you know, experience all this joy and female energy. We should mention we do not have a lot of croon. Croon is not what I need. It's not what my people need. That's a relief. Plek, please lay down

upon this altar. Okay, this seems like this might not end well. Should I be worried? Yeah, usually not. Shall we remove his clothes? Yes, please. This kind of seems like it could be fun. Yeah, usually not. Yes, please. That's true.

Yes, I thought I had made myself clear. It was hard to hear because so many people were talking. If you could leave the attitude at the door, I would really appreciate it. I don't know how to do just respect. Okay. Oh, wow. Love my job. I feel like there was a little crack in the armor there just for a second. Don't sit up.

Lay back down. Okay. Lay back down. Okay. Hold on to these straps. Uh, okay. C for three. Should I be nervous about this?

Straps on an altar? No. That feels... This has been a real seesaw because lying down on an altar, generally bad. But then removing clothes... Sometimes good....is usually a good step. But then straps... Less good. Less good. Galen, can I ask... Teela, Neela, do you know what clothes are?

I mean, can you please remove his clothes? I don't want to say it again. Yes, yes, yes. Are you okay? Yes, yes. Sorry, sorry. Teela, Neela, you guys are assistants, right? Yes. But I thought this was sort of like an egalitarian kind of utopian society. Yes.

So how does that work? Are you, like, below everyone because you're assistants, or just below the leader? No. No. No what? No. I don't, that seems...

Please move so I can take this clothing off. No, I just, I want to see, how does this, how does the hierarchy here work? Hierarchy. Hierarchy. Hierarchy. Hierarchy. One of you can say it perfectly, and the other one really struggles with any new word. Hierarchy.

We serve because we choose to. But so you take orders, though. They're conversations, suggestionsgestions and responses. Seems like orders though. Order. Order. Almost. Surely, surely you know the word

order. Order. You were just talking about ordering dinner like ten minutes ago. Order dinner. There we are. Order dinner. Now do the people who work at restaurants work for you? No, they work because they love to serve. They love the hospitality industry. Oh, my takeoff is close.

Yes, of course. I have said it enough times. Okay, yes. Now, that was definitely an order. That's an order. Order. Thank you for that suggestion, Galen. Thank you so much.

Take it off. Take it off. Take it off. Hey, listen. P Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, listen. Pants come off. Shirts come off.

Hey. Pants come off. Okay. And the briefs. Hey, wow. Here, place this nasturtia flower over your member. Thank you. Much better.

I can see that you're more comfortable that way. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Dar. Mm-hmm. I'd like that you're more comfortable that way. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. Dar. Mm-hmm? I'd like to give you this tulip. It is to draw blood. Uh.

From... Crawl under the altar and stab him from underneath. Now I think this is where I'm starting to get a little bit nervous. We'll drip the blood into this tube. Sorry. And then we'll... Yeah. Yes.

Just quick. Did you have something you wanted to say? Plek, please stop cutting her off. That's, that's, I get it. I apologize. Let the woman speak. Sure. Yeah, totally.

Thank you, Dar. Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. As you were saying, Galen, how do you want me to bleed Plek? Crawl under the altar, stab him through the table and up into the spine. His blood will drip down slowly through the port and into these collecting buckets.

And you want all of Plek's blood? That's correct. I need a shit ton of blood. And I need someone who loves him to do it. Uh, okay. Sorry, can I jump in real quick right now? Uh, you would even if we said no. Okay, fair enough, fair enough. Can I opt out of this right now? You would, even if we said no. Okay, fair enough.

So feel free. Fair enough. Can I opt out of this process? I'm sorry. You've accepted our technological gifts, and so now you must pay with your life. Yeah, and I will say my blood, as far as I can tell, I'm not supposed to lose more than a couple pints before I get real dead. Yes, I think I've made myself clear when I said, quote, pay with your life.

Oh, okay. All right. End quote. It's like you still had to mansplain to her, even though she knew exactly what she was asking for. Dart, whose side are you on right now? It's really hard right now. I want to be on her side, but I clearly have an allegiance to you.

But, wow, it's just like I've been treated so well here, and at home I have to cook eggs for Beano every five minutes. They gave me a nice shirt. Look at this new shirt I have. You look beautiful. That is so flattering, Bargy. They just gave it to me and then told me I looked great without judging me and my size. Now we will begin the blood draw. He just gave it to me and then told me I looked great without judging me and my size.

Now we will begin the blood draw. Please take this to a loom and crawl under the altar, Dar. Then you will be able to be with us for the rest of eternity. Uh, Callan, can I ask you what you're going to use all my blood for? To propagate the species. Oh. Sue created a way to take the blood of a man and impregnate multiple women at once. Okay.

Wow. Okay. See, without the blood of men, we are dying off. Oh. Gellan, are you particular about the man's blood that you use? Because I think you might be getting a not great deal. What? See if you did that right.

I'm certain it's from you. Oh, I mean, sure. No, yeah, that's... But it's just my emotion hickey is telling me that you're telling the truth. It's my understanding that blood is blood is blood is blood is blood is blood is blood. Okay, okay. The problem with blood is it easily blood is blood is blood is blood. Okay. I see.

It can be any male blood. Yes. Right now what I need is for you to stab this dude and drain his blood. Okay. I don't know what's wrong. Dar, I believe that you could be the next

chosen leader of this planet. I'm sorry, Plek, I just have to do it. A what? Well, you know, Dar, I'm just glad that you love me. Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood. Blood, blood, B-L-O-D. Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood. I think I've filled up this bucket now. Here.

I felt fine. No big deal for me. Just got a lot of blood. That's weird. Why I'm so pink. It's weird, Chosen Leader. It's weird. Very weird. Why I'm so pink. It's weird, chosen leader. It's weird. Very weird.

Why are you not pale? If all the blood has been drained from your body, you're still talking. I mean, maybe I'm actually... Your skin is still as pink as ever. Oh, well. Now the blood that actually makes him look less pink has... Dar, are you? Dar, why are you stumbling about so?

I think I've exhausted myself here on this planet, and I'm ready to return. Yeah, can I actually have my clothes back? Sure. I gave him some pizzazz. It's a much more flattering cut. Thank you. Thank you for tailoring my... Yeah, wow. Very deep.

Okay. So, Chosen Leader, is there anything else You need from us Now that we've had a fair exchange Well I wish you would make another decision You're still set on leaving Yes Well then I guess you must Go

Bye bye I'm saying though I booked a movie No what you booked a movie movie on Zootopia? Yeah, and people here just seem a little more open to the idea of putting me into films. They write better roles for people like me. They actually care about representation. Their roles are more honest. The lines make more sense.

They're not just one-dimensional ships that are just there to make the other characters drive around. I'm saying it's great. Yeah, Bargy, listen, I know this is a big break for you, but we got to get out of here. All right, so I can start whenever you want me to. Just send over the contracts. What's the union rate? We're doing a day rate.

What's happening? Union? Oh. What's a union? We have no unions here. Oh, boy. Oh, no. That's probably not going to work. Okay.

Galen, we're going to go. Thank you for this tech. Oh, you have to give those back. Oh. Oh. That hardly seems like a fair trade now. I'm coming. I gotta say, I mean, I had a lot more blood in me than I thought. I'm happy to help everybody, because I...

Are you kidding me right now? What? I filled the bucket with my blood. If you had lost that much blood, you would be dead twice over. The bucket was enormous. Wait, I didn't... But Dar stabbed me. I was pinching you.

Oh, wow, sorry. Thank you, Dar. Wait, I thought it had to be male blood. It could be that I'm as male as I am female. Oh, yeah. But of course, it's probably that blood as I am female. Oh, yeah. But of course, it's probably that blood doesn't have gender. Oh, yeah.

I guess I hadn't really considered that part. Here I was thinking I really was just very strong and tough. Great, Dara. I'm just going to stitch this here. Just don't move. Thank you. There we go. If someone else could be on Beano duty tonight, I would really appreciate it.

You know what, guys? I'll be on Bino duty. You and Bargy should relax. Thank you. Okay. Yeah. You know, Bargy, you look great. You're all shined up.

You got that new shirt. I don't know what really that means, but I... It's the same as yours. Mine is a deep V2. Really? Where on the ship is the V part? I'm going to turn around the whole ship so you can see it. I'm inside the ship. Oh, I can't see it.

Oh, okay, right. Just to clarify, do you understand the seven things you need to do to take care of Reno? Well, there's the bedtime story. Uh-huh. There's the tuck. Yes. Then there's the re-tuck when he jumps out and reenacts the meeting scene. You should start your

rotation now of how many eggs you need to cook him throughout the night. There's the scramble. There's the boil. There's the poach. Those are all one. Yeah, there's two more steps. Okay. There's the forehead kiss. Yep.

And then, um... Barricading the door. Always right. Yes. Barric the forehead kiss. Yep. And then... Barricading the door. Always right. Yes. Barricading the door. In case Beano goes... Insane. Mm-hmm.

It's very terrifying, but what if we just let it happen one time? Do you remember the time we almost let it happen? I'm going to play this clip. I'll remind you. Beano want dance. Listen, I've been dancing for 20 minutes. We've been... Dar is the dancer. I can't dance.

He doesn't want me to dance. He only wants you to dance. Bino want dance. You know what, Bino? I've already danced for you. Bino want dance or Bino go insane. Okay, fine. Just go insane, Bino. See what I care. I'm done. Okay, Bino go insane. Okay, fine. Just go insane, Bino. See what I care. I'm done. Okay. Bino, go insane.

Fleck, I'll just keep puppeteering you until he's happy. Bino loves dance. Bino thinks dance is the purest form of expression. I don't have any gas Never do that again Okay, alright, I'm sorry Emissary Dexator, I have an incoming transmission From Missions Operations Manager Nermits

Hey, Nermits Hey guys, I can't wait to hear what this tech is Oh man, they had so much cool stuff Call anywhere in the galaxy immediately without any sort of coordinates or a transmission ID or anything. Teleport anywhere. Emotion reading,

like a mind meld sort of thing. We got all of it. Oh, great. And then they took it away from us when we wouldn't give them all of my blood. Oh, jeez. We did have it. I mean, I have a lot of pictures of my blood. Oh, jeez. It did happen. Huh? Um.

I mean, I have a lot of pictures of the tech. I don't know. That doesn't seem like it was what they were after. You know, speaking of galactic calling, C-53, I am so curious about what you possibly could have done to that sea captain. Yeah, one day, I hope you're comfortable telling us the story about the old man and the C-53. To be continued... Thank you. is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom! This episode was recorded at Robert Doggy Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn and at Forever Dog Studios in Los Angeles. Speaking of Los Angeles, we are very excited to greet inhabitants of that quadrant

this coming Sunday, July 29th, at our live show at Dynasty Typewriter at the Hayworth, featuring special returning guest John Gabrus. Tickets at DynastyTypewriter.com or MissionToZix.space. Be no hungry. Oh, hey, hey, Beano. It's pretty early, isn't it? Be no hungry. Oh, hey, hey, Beano. It's pretty early, isn't it? Be no hungry. No, I mean early for you to be in this episode.

Sorry. I was trying to change it up a little bit. No, no, no, that's good, that's good. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. That works.