Mission To Zyxx - 214: The Crews' Ship [feat. Rekha Shankar]

Episode Date: August 29, 2018

The crew takes a break and heads off on a singles cruise. Bargie goes on a billion dates. C-53 and Beano collaborate. Pleck... meets someone? Everything else is gravy. Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as Beano and the Stroid Miner Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and the Boils Person With special guest Rekha Shankar as SRA Edited by Jeremy Bent Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan with additional music by 8-Bit Jazz Heroes (Robby Delosier and Adam Bellotto) Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz

This is SeaRed IT5 with a brief message. For photos and recordings, live videos from the crew, and amazing fan art, especially of DAR, follow us on Instagram, at MissionToZix. It is a period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Now, Rebel Emissary Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy

to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Hey, C53? Yeah? I feel like whatever nebula we're passing right now is just beautiful. It's all purple and green, and there like that sort of shimmer that's going through it And this is the coolest thing. I think we've ever flown by

Sorry, Dexter. You shouldn't be able to see any of those colors. Those are ultraviolet frequencies Tellurian eyes shouldn't be able to perceive any of them Well, I don't know it looks pretty cool to me. I can really only see it out of my big eye, okay? We need to have a conversation about this eye You see the sound that that's making yeah I can really only see it out of my big eye. Okay, we need to have a conversation about this eye. Oh, uh. You see the sound that that's making? Yeah. There's like a chitinous shell around your eye.

Yeah. That's not normal. If being able to see ultraviolet and infrared is wrong, I don't want to be right, man. Do you feel anything moving around in there? I mean, no more than usual. There's something about this eye that, like, on a chemical level, just makes me feel pretty good.

Like, I just... My blood is convincing me that it feels great. Does that make sense? It does, but that sounds bad. All right. It sounds like maybe a cat is taking over your dopamine centers or something. Very sinister.

I don't know about this. Does anybody have an extra, like, resealable bag? What? No, I was just going to put my toothbrush in it while I'm packing up. Wait, Norman, you're leaving? Well, yeah, I mean, this is the number of personal days I put in for, so I'm just, yeah, I'm packing up. Oh, Norman, it was really great to have you on the ship. Thanks.

Yeah, it's been... I got a self-ticket. I don't need the ticket. We're going on a singles cruise. I put in for, so I'm just, yeah, I'm packing up. Oh, Norman, it was really great to have you on the ship. Thanks, yeah. I got to sell tickets. I don't need the tickets. We're going on a singles cruise. I'm in. What? Oh, yeah, I'm in a stay. Oh, okay.

Are you staying just because it's a singles cruise? No, I just got my dates mixed up. Norman, are you single now? You should ask Dar. What are we talking about?? You should ask Dar. What are we talking about? Oh, hey, Dar. Bargy just got us tickets.

We're all going on a cruise. That's perfect, because, Nermit, you're leaving today, so that means I'm single again. I'm leaving in a couple days. Guys, hold on a second. I'm sorry. What's going on? Beano's single and ready to mingle.

Bargy's single and ready to mingle. Beano and Beano's single and ready to mingle. Bargy's single and ready to mingle. Beano and Bargy's single and ready to mingle. Bargy, sorry, I'm just a little confused. Is this a singles cruise for all of us? No, I mean it's mainly a singles cruise for other ships. A former fling of mine, his name is Shane Shane, just sent me a message saying, Bargy, I'm now the owner because he's a party ship. Oh, he's a party ship.

Let me tell you, he's a party ship. Party ship, okay. Anyway, he's like, Bajie, me and a bunch of the old gang are getting back together. We're having a single spaceship cruise, and you got to come, and you come by yourself. Okay. Okay. Now, by yourself, does that include, like, without us? I don't know, but I honestly, it's like right now, we have to go now.

You're just going to come be away, and then I'm going to have a great time. It's been a while since I've had a job, since I've been in love, since I've been with somebody. So I'm kind of at peak level of going insane. Yeah, you deserve it, Bargy. Thank you. I just checked with SR quickly, and they've all accrued some time off, so I could go on the cruise. But, Nermit, you're coming with, just to verify. Mm-hmm.

I'm going on a singles cruise. No, then if you're staying on the ship, then technically we are still in a relationship. Wait, what is happening? Do you have, like, an on-again, off-again? We have a very mature understanding. It took a couple of days to figure it out. We hashed it out. But we've decided that when we're together, we're together.

But when we're not together, we're apart. Well, that's just the meaning of this. Yeah, you just defined. But also emotionally. It just makes sense. So currently you're together. We are. We're together. We are. We're together.

We're together right now, but I mean, it's a single. But if you had left, you'd be. We would have been separated. We would have been separated. Yeah. I feel like a singles cruise is maybe a weird gray area. We hadn't worked into the contract, so. Because technically then we're not, we are inhabiting the same space, but we're not together on the ship.

Yes, we'll be together separately. Ooh, Bino finds sexual tension delicious. Delicious. Ew, stop. Bino delighted. Where is he? He's on the left. He's just sucking in air.

Ah. All right, what do you think I should wear? This skimpy top or this skimpy top? Or should I be more conservative and wear this coat? Ooh. I mean, we're inside the ship, so we can't see what you're wearing. Yeah, but you can feel it. Yeah, I mean, I can feel it.

Let me, let me, let me, let me, Skippy, down. Wait, what if I... Skippy, down. Yeah, I gotta see... And coat. You know, Marge, I got a coat, but nothing on underneath coat. Ooh, Skippy, under. Like a flasher.

Yes, exactly like a flasher. Yes, exactly. Dot Jontawa. Flash. Zix. Jontawa. Z-Y-X-X. Jontawa. Alright, I'm just gonna drop you guys off, so, uh, don't do what I wouldn't do, but hey, I do everything, so go for it. Uh, alright, Bargy, we'll, uh, just through the hatch then, huh? Okay, uh, don't do what I wouldn't do, but hey, I do everything, so go for it. All right, Bargy, we'll just through the hatch then, huh? Okay. It's wild that there's a cruise ship for non-ships. Yeah, that's good. It's Bargy's cruise. Just right under the cruise ship then.

Great. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. Hey, dude. Hi, guys. That's how we say hi in ship. Oh, yeah, that's it. I've heard that a couple times. Welcome to the cruise ship.

All the crews are down below, so if you'll please follow the stair signs. I'm sorry. Wait. All the crews? Yeah, it's a cruise ship. Yeah. Right, a cruise ship. Yeah, it's a cruise ship.

Yeah, we're saying the same thing, I think. Yeah, a cruise ship. Wait a minute. Are you saying cruise C-R-E-W-S ship or C-R-U-I-S-E ship? Oh, right. The first one. Oh, my gosh. So this is on the cruise of all the ships that are taking the cruise.

You got it. Hey, y'all coming down to the cruise section? We're on a store mine and crew shit. Y'all want to come down to the section with us? Hi, cruise director Sarah. I'm so glad to be back in the hold. Oh, we're so glad to have you. Come on, join the other crew.

Come on down to the crew. Just a quick, where are we going? Okay, now we spent a lot of time studying crews like you, okay? And we realized you love big rooms, right? That is so true. A big, spacious room. Yeah. So that's exactly why downstairs we have one big, spacious room for all of you.

No, that's not. That's less good. Oh, for all of us. For all of you. And I know a crew loves a big comfy bed, right? I love a big comfy bed. You do? I love a big comfy bed. You do? I love to hear that.

Well, we have one gigantic, big comfy bed for all of you to share right downstairs. Can you believe it? Sounds like a floor. Ah, no. It's better than a floor. It's higher. Is there a lot of room to hang out outside of the bed, or? Oh, yeah.

We've got plenty of little desks for you guys to have fun with. Okay, so it's a bunch of desks. Yeah. And a enormous bed. Okay. Yes, yes, desks seem to be one of your number one toys. Thank you, Sarah. Yes, of course.

Hmm. Oh, I don't think I've ever met a ship named Sarah before. Oh, it stands for Sentient Recreation Allocation. Oh, okay, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Good. You're going to be so excited. We have so many activities planned for you. recreation allocation okay yeah you know what that you love that we don't love activities okay great yep Oh, confident, too. That's great. Come with me, or rather, follow the signs, because I must ship. Okay, great, yep. So we're going to a cargo hold where we will spend however long this cruise is,

sleeping all together in the same bed. Yes. Listen, Sarah, how long do these singles cruises usually last? So usually around 14 days. Oh, boy. I mean, we could have gotten off a lot worse, but that still seems long. Yeah, that's a long time. I'm in here for 400 days.

What? No. My ship never came back. What? Come out from the shadows, you creature, and talk to us. Oh, Rod. Oh, boy. It's covered in boils.

I've been here for years. Wait, why are you covered in boils? It's my species. We're just a species of boils. But my ship was single, and it went away, and then I think it met someone, and it forgot about me,

and I've just been here all over the years. Guys, do you think Bargy would do that to us? Yes, absolutely. met someone and they forgot about me and I've just been here all alone. Guys, do you think Bargy would do that to us? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I would say maybe. Hey, how about we all buck up with some of our activities? We have watched you guys. We really wanted to study

what you guys would enjoy on a cruise ship. So, here are a bunch of papers and forms with little tiny pens for you all to fill out. When you say studied us... Mm-hmm. Did you study us specifically? We do fill out a lot of paperwork, to be fair.

We studied all the sentients we knew, and it seemed you guys lived sort of I don't know, hermity kind of grouchy lifestyle. That's because we're stuck inside ships when you're observing us. Yes, yes. So interesting

you guys spend your time that way. We don't actually love doing that. Yeah, that's sort of like what our job requires. That is so interesting. There's a whole galaxy out there, and you spend your time hunched over over a little table. So just to clarify, you never watched any sentience when they weren't on a ship?

I can't think of a time I know. Yeah, I may have located the source of the problem here. Attention, ships. Your speed dating round begins now. I'm a tanker. Yeah, all right. We only got 30 seconds. So what are your problems?

Why are you single? Right. I'm not communicative. Yeah. I never reply back, so... Great, all right, bye. Mr. Mosh is my dad. My name is Fizzle Mosh.

Oh, your dad. Yeah. You look just like him. Wait, you know my dad? Yeah, yeah. How's he been? He's, um... Huh?

Yeah, uh... What? You don't know, okay. What? Uh,'t know, okay. What? You know when a person is alive. My name? I don't think it matters much.

I'm a private investigatorship. Sometimes when the chips are down, you find it's either cash out or go all in. And I went all in. Okay, you... Sorry, you're talking to budget arranger. You realize that? You're just quoting back a movie of mine. Oh, wow, you're really the budget arranger.

Yeah, line to line. Yeah, I said exactly the same thing. Okay, uh, yeah, my whole personality is just... Just trying for the first time having an original thought. Okay, my name's Dale. Uh, uh, this is hard. I'm my name's Dale. This is hard. I'm not good at this. It's so nice to meet you.

I've been so sad lately. I can't see. I've been sad so you can't have two sad people that are just going to enable each other. I feel like that's why I feel a connection with you. I don't feel a connection with you. We literally just met ten seconds ago. able each other. But no, I feel like that's like why I feel a connection with you. I don't feel a connection with you. No, it's so strong.

We literally just met ten seconds ago. Oh, it's so nice. If you feel a connection to me this fast, honestly, there's something wrong. Your honesty is so refreshing, honestly. I... I just, you're just like not like any of the other ships I've met. You're like cool and... Hello, uh, Bargy.

Yeah. Oh, that's a beautiful name. Thank you very much. And you are? I am Thomas. I must say, you are a beautiful ship. Can I say that? Yeah. You have the refined elegance of a ship that's really, uh, you know, lived a storied and interesting life, but with respect and dignity.

You mean you're not so bad looking yourself? I know it's soon, but can I ask you a personal question? Of course. Bargy. I know. How do you feel about Tellurians who are piloting a ship that is not sentient, looking out the window and talking to you through a microphone? Is that what's happening right now?

Yeah, I'm just a Tellurian on this, on this unsentient ship. Yeah, it's not going to work out. Fair enough. That's great. For a moment I thought there was something nice out there. Uh, hey, Hey, Black? Yeah? Who are you claiming as a dependent, if any?

No, Dara, I don't think we have to fill this paperwork out. Are you filling out the paperwork? Wait, we don't have to. I just did. What are you guys? Guys, this is fake paper. This is supposed to be a fun. What would we be getting if we finished the paperwork?

I don't know. Why would there be paperwork? Y'all don't have to do the paperwork. I've been on this cruise ship several times. I mean, excuse me, stranger. That would have been helpful information 40 minutes ago. You didn't ask. I just walked by and heard.

So listen, you don't do anything. You just go to the buffet and you get the buffet. Oh, the buffet. Yeah, the buffet. It's right over there. What's there? Just food and stuff. Did I hear buffet? Are you folks hungry?

Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, great. Then please, as our story miner was telling you, we got a whole line of food specifically for you crew folk, okay? Oh, great. Then please, as our story minor was telling you, we got a whole line of food specifically for you crew folk, okay? Oh, great. Thank you. That's really nice. Want me to lift the lid? Oh, boy. Wow, that is just one big pile of... Gravy.

Yeah. Yes, it's gravy, okay? We ground up the finest cold cuts into a nice little gravy. And that's for you. This is what you enjoy eating. Well, but, Sarah, we like chewing the food. That's sort of part of the... Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not super

clear on crew anatomy. When you chew the food, doesn't it end up sort of liquidy like this? Yeah, I mean, eventually, but... It's a vacation, right? You don't have to do all the work. Just swallow the slurp.

Yeah, Sarah's got the right idea. I just scoop up some gravy, pop it into my mouth right now, slip it down, and then good to go. It's real good. I love it. We're in an enclosed area. You don't have to wear the mask. I just like the mask. Sarah, if I may ask,

do you have any power? Do I have any power? Yes. As a droid, I don't eat gravy processed or otherwise. Just wondering if you have any power stations that I could... Well, I don't know if I'd call it that. Okay, well,

this is really reserved for the ships, but we have, you know, some hyper-proton fuel. Whoa. I can maybe get you a tank of it. You see, 53, can you use that? I mean, technically, but that's going to be really...

To be honest, I don't know. That's a little... It's a cruise. You get jerked up on it. That's a hell of a point. I mean, if I have hyperprotoxin, I'm going to be pretty jerked up. Will you starve otherwise, though? I mean, yeah.

Would you like me to rustle some up for you? I feel so bad. I didn't even know about your weird dietary restrictions. It's not weird. It's pretty standard for a droid. Yeah, I guess if you have some, I'll take it. Great. It's coming in to you on the conveyor belt now.

Oh, wow. Just exposed hyper-protein fuel. Yes, in a little bucket. You know, C-53, I can see a real, like, a purple aura around that. Is that? Yeah, no, it's highly radioactive. Okay, how could I? Which isn't a problem for me, but it's a lot more energy than I'm used to.

Hey, you're on vacation, right? Have fun. I can't see you. I love hyper-proton fuel. You don't? No. All right. I'm just going to take a quick bite here.

Oh! That's good. Throw it down, Neil. Good, right? We don't even water it down. It's cured. No, I can tell. Wow!

My eyes are brighter than normal. They feel really bright right now. Your pelvis is... It's gyrating at a level that we are really not accustomed to. I feel like a rattling. Is there a rattling somewhere? It's your yelling. Is that too loud? Peter loves my yelling.

Peter loves it. Stop. Stop. Quick cue for you, Sarah. If two of us wanted a little privacy, where would we go? Hmm. Oh, the refuse chamber. I'm sorry?

The refuse chamber. What? Right over there. Right over there. We know that you crew members have to expel a bunch of refuse, right? The gravy you put in that comes out, right? Right. So you're telling me my options, if I wanted a little privacy, are the bathroom?

Bino, love you, C-53. C-53, you love Bino. Bino got a great idea for screenplay. C-53 is so ready to just detect me and I'll write him a down. Bino, open on interior. Interior. Faded. Faded. Bino is private eye. Bino, private eye. It's a glass door with

your name's on it. Bino tell the story of Bino. The screenplay of Bino. Go back to the title page. The story of Bino written by Bino. The assistance received. Bino love by Eno. And the assistance received by Eno. They all love hyper proton fuel. Wow, that's a good deal.

How many decks are on the ship? I'm going to look out. I'm just a hollow actor trying to make it. Oh, no, I don't need it. No matter who's actor. You're an actor? No, no thanks. Yeah, Eno, why would you want to date another actor?

Wait, do you have representation? No, do you? No. Oh, it's so worse. What are you going to do? I mean, we got my crew always yapping inside of me. Oh, me too. I have to try to eject him into space. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this would never work. Nope. Not at all. Nope. Goodbye. Nope. Goodbye.

Well, I have to say I'm not a huge fan of cinema. I'm more of a theater guy. Okay. I mean Why? Well, why do I prefer? Ask questions Wow, look at you look at at that. Wow. You what? You got a chiseled face.

You got a chiseled hole. Who are you? What's your story? You know, I just like deliver the shrimp. I'm the shrimp delivery ship. Wow. Humble. I should put the shrimp anywhere or where do I unload it?

You can unload it here. Are you going to sign the manifest? Oh, that's so nice. Wow. I could sign whatever you want. Wow. You can unload it here. Are you going to sign the manifest? Oh, that's so nice. Wow, I could sign whatever you want. Wow, my temperature's going up. This manifest just shows what cargo I'm holding, which is shrimp. I'm toting shrimp. Toting shrimp.

That's a beautiful name. I'm Bajie. You can call me Bajie. You can call me whatever you want. I don't know. You can. Are you going to sign the manifest or what? Hey, hey, hey Get out of here

This is for the singles Deliveries are in back Alright Well, hey, if you ever get off Get off early So Been here for 400 days, huh? Yeah 400 days, huh? Yeah, 400 days.

Oh, boy. My ship used to be my best friend. Oh, no. We would talk all the time. What happened to the rest of your crew? I am there and dead. Oh, did they die here? Yeah.

Oh, no, what? When I started a rock collection. If you sit on the counter. Okay, I'm going to get up here. And I squeeze. All right. There we go. Oh, wow.

Now. Hello. We're having ourselves a little date. All right. Geez. I've never. All right. Geez. I've never done this before. Yeah. I mean, we've done a lot of other stuff before.

A lot of other things, yeah. But never this. So how was your week? Good. Huh. Oh, how was your week? Pretty good. I really liked being on vacation. A little bit of R&R on the Bargerian Jade.

It's been, I guess, up and down tense with you. Is that what we talk about on dates? Oh, I don't know. Sorry. Okay. I don't know how to do this. We should just check. We should just, yeah. Okay. Climbing in.

Well, this rock is, I mean, this one, Tony. And this rock, I named it Tony. And I named this rock Tony. Okay. Tony was the name of my crew member friend. Oh, no. That really explains so much in a sad way. You have to get out of here.

You have to get out of here as soon as you can. Make sure your ship doesn't find anyone. Love is bad. Love ruins things. I'm not sure that's a takeaway, but I am going to try to get off of the cruise ship as fast as I can. Somebody say, as fast as I can. Yeah. Let's go.

Let's go. Hey, yeah. Let's switch this guy with all the rocks. How's that screenplay? Yeah. Nice rocks. I love these rocks. I don't know what it says.

Hey, hey, I got a game. I'm going to give you a map of where I can get a rock. Oh, wow. I just want to hear it. Yeah. C53, listen, you got to chill out just a little bit. Beano loves chilling out. Okay, all right. Oh, you want to chill out?

We'll let you chill out. Commentate right now. Boom. Okay, hey, C-53, quick question. This is super fun. Can I just actually see your cube slot for a second? Yes, absolutely. All right, here we go.

I'm coming, I'm coming. Whew. Beano's still wired. Okay, Bino, calm down. I can use a drink. Can I get a tank of cherry gasoline for one? Yes. Can I have a straw?

No. All right. You know, love is hard. Because it's crazy that two people can actually at the same time feel the same thing. You know, that's scientifically impossible. You know what I'm talking about? Also, everyone is honestly a disappointment. Because everyone has their problems, everyone brings their baggage.

No one, everyone's thinking about themselves. They don't think about the other person. What am I going to do? I'm just, yeah, I'm okay being myself. I'm okay being just Barchi. I don't need a heavy weight carrying me down. You know what I mean? Barchi, is that you?

You probably don't even remember me Maybe this will ring a bell A Rudy toot toot toot toot Hello, Tiny, how are you? I am, like, so good Yeah, I see, I see You're killing it, you're, uh Congratulations for, uh...

For what? I've had so many accomplishments. Oh, and congratulations again for, uh, the whole delegator blowing up thing. They said it was you, so, you know, that's true. Ugh, I mean, that's, like, so... Right. Just, like, last, I don't know, season. It's like so much has happened for me since then. I've pitched so much and I've been in so much.

Yeah, me too. Definitely. Oh, really? What have you been up to? Oh, just a couple of indie films that have development. Oh, who's this? He's a no and yes ship. He's a no-yeser. He's just... Anyway, definitely the yes... Listen to the yes.

Don't listen to the no. I've been doing a lot. I've been working out. Um... Yes. My engine is definitely smaller than before. Booking... Booking so many things. I'm doing very well. I'm dating a dating a really nice You're dating but why would you be here? Because I am all about that lifestyle where you date But you also a single when you're not on the job when you're in a...

Hey Barjee, are you sure my dad's dead? Are you sure? Yes. Because you said that you went on that mission and he got all the kek on you and everything. Sorry, guys. This kid is naming the movie I was in. Are you sure your dad is dead? I was the lead of it. It's an indie film.

A little director. You may not know his name yet, but his name is Jark... Jark... Jark? Jark? He's just like a young... Paint black. Yeah. Juck? Juck? This is like a young... Hey, Plek. Yeah?

How did your date go with that boil, the lady with all the boils? What do you mean? What's the date? What do you mean? I was hanging out with the boil person because you guys were jucking in the bathroom. Well, listen, we... What do you mean? This is a single spruce.

And also, we... What is the date? We didn't want to juck. We had to. We had to. We had to. We realized we have zero in common except for our extreme attraction. But, Pluck, you were on a date. That was a date.

I mean, she definitely thought it was a date. We heard her naming some of her rocks after you. What? Yeah. Pluck. I'll name this one Pluck. Run it up, Pluck. I think you should go over there and figure it out. Oh, man. That one's now Pluck. I'll name this one Pluck. Run it up, Pluck. I think you should go over there and figure it out.

Oh, man. That one's called Pluck. Hey, Sarah. Yeah. Hey, what other kinds of activities do you guys have on the cruise ship? Well. Because we've been, I know we're going to be here for 14 days. We've been here for like 25 minutes.

Mm-hmm. I feel like, unless there's like another couple rooms, I think we've sort of seen all of the activities. Well, if you guys are still not bored, we do have a crafting station. Oh, I could do some crafting. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. So over here are our large sticks.

And here we provide you with sort of a rubbery band thing. And then over here sort of a bludgeoning-type ball. They sort of look all like sort of weapons. So with the right amount of rope usage, you can tie this together into a nice sort of slingshot-type weapon that could kill any of your enemies in an instant. Enemies? You just throw it right at the neck.

That sounds really fun. But could you just give me a second? I'm going to actually talk to my friend C-53 for a minute I'm just going to put this cube back in whoa is it my optical sensor how bright is it in here no it pretty much hasn't changed your voice is so loud and grating

I think I feel fine okay hey what are you even doing on here aren't you hauled deep She's so loud and grating. I'm glad. I think I feel fine. Okay. Hey, what are you even doing on here? Aren't you hauled deep in all these other smaller younger ships? But the thing is, Bargy, they're all just fans. They're just so many fans. I mean, just so many fans. And I just, what I'm not finding, Bargy, is companionship.

Yep, great seeing you. You're a great hope to bump into you often, definitely unprepared. You absolutely will be seeing me everywhere. This definitely won't affect me again. All the work I went into trying to forget you. Definitely everything's great.

Anyway, I'll see you later. Have fun. Goodbye. Well, you know, Sarah, this has been a great afternoon. Thank you. I'm just trying to wrap my head around what the next two weeks is going to look like.

Oh, okay. Yeah, well, I mean, this was just day one. Sure. Days two through 14 super exciting stuff okay yeah basically you'll split off into groups that are maybe not even based on your original crews and you'll eventually form factions based on dwindling resources by which of course i mean gravy you'll sort of subconsciously elect a leader or spokesperson of the group to speak for the needs of your group. And then you'll sort of subconsciously also pick out a runt of your group

who you'll sacrifice at the earliest possible convenience. I do not look forward to that part. Eventually, you will all turn on each other as individuals until you kill each other. Okay. The crafting section provided sufficient time for you to craft a deadly weapon. I know you've had a lot of time to train with it, but...

Stop. We're not killing anyone. Hold on a second. Sarah, why would you do this? Why would you make a place like this? Because this is what we studied that you do. I mean, yeah, that's fair. That's actually fair.

Sarah, if I can point out something you may have missed during your research, you don't like a lot of the things that we do. Why do you do things you do not like to do? Now that is a good question.

That is a great question. I have a great answer to. Also, Sarah, second question. Do you have any more hyper protons? No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53.

No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53.

No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53.

No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. No, C53. It's really not yet. It is quite addicting, right? I mean, I can check. They are changing for hyper fuel. It's going to be a rough couple weeks. I just want addicting, right? I mean, I can check. You're changing for hyperfuel.

It's going to be a rough couple weeks. I just want to say, before we get any further, Nermit, I promise not to sacrifice you or make you the runt. Don't make any promises you can't keep. Click. What was that? They are ready. Let's go.

Oh, fuck. Barge is right outside the window. Yeah, we can hear you, Barge. Sarah, can we... Barge, it looks is right outside the window. Yeah, we can hear you, Barge. Sarah, can we... Barge, it looks like our ride's here. Can we take off? Oh, Barge, you're leaving the cruise early? Yeah, I'm leaving the cruise early.

This was a sinister plan. Chain Chain is an evil ship. He just brings all the single ships back together without realizing that some of the magistery was some of them, and they just didn't want to see them and it just ended up happening. It just unravels all the work that they did to get better and now you're just back to square one.

Let's get inside. Oh, guys, look in the corner. They're starting to form factions. Oh, day two begins. It's so nice. Look at that gravy. All right, well, I guess we should get out of here. Well, thanks so much for coming.

I do hope you know that the crews you already paid are not refundable for the two weeks. Fair enough, yeah. Yeah. Pretty standard. Sarah, I can't say that your research has been very accurate, but thanks for your attempt at hospitality. Oh, thank you so much. And, you know, I don't want you guys to leave at the end. This is usually what we'd give someone who survived the 14 days.

Little takeaway bags of gravy. Just for you. Thank you. You're welcome. Sarah, just a quick question. Could I swap my gravy for... No. No.

Let's go. I am begging you, please. This is a little uncomfortable for me, but I'd like to say to everyone on the ship, I apologize for my behavior aboard Sarah. I got a little out of control. Are you doing a 12-step thing? A what? Oh, I just, never mind. No, I'm apologizing.

Okay. I'm making amends with all of you But you're still stepping in place What is this? I need to spend residual energy From my hyper proton fuel I need to recognize That when I take hyper proton fuel

I'm not myself And I need to accept that You're on vacation, you're on a cruise So, you know, get weird I don't I just don't like myself when I'm I need to accept that. You're on vacation. You're on a cruise, so, you know, get weird. I don't... I guess I just don't like myself when I'm on hyperproton fuel. That's fair enough. That's fair enough.

I think you just keep me away from it in the future. We don't love hyperproton fuel. Also, it has... No. ...many hyperproton fuel. No. And he made it back with Bargy, do you? No, I don no, no. Bargy, how was it for you?

Congrats. It was great. It was all good for you. He delivers shrimp? So, yeah, we're just going to hang out and see what happens. We're not going to define it. We're going to see. You know how his shrimp schedule works with my non-shrimp schedule. So it's a new thing, new exciting development in my life, I guess.

Was this ship on the cruise or was the ship just delivering shrimp? You ask me too many personal questions. Okay. That's one thing with the flaw. I'm going to distract myself now and I'm going to help Bino with his script. Oh. Yeah, how'd that screenplay turn out, guys? Screenplay?

Bino loved it. You started writing a screenplay with Bino. I do not remember that. Bino has screenplay. Bino would love table read. Yeah, yeah, Bino. Bino loves table read. Let's start reading it now.

Okay. Okay. Who's doing what role? I'll play the runt. Bino play Bino. I can just read these stage directions. Okay, I guess then I'll read for C-53. I'll read for

Plek. Am I in this script? I'm reading for Plek. Alright, I'll read for Bargy. Fade in. Interior. Private eye's office. Night. Glass door reads Bino. private investigator. Yes, it would appear that

our security officer has been murdered. Bino love mysteries. My name is Plek, and I'm a tiny little boy, and I just poop my pants. Uh, you'll have to excuse my associate emissary, Plek Dexeter. He is incontinent.

Oh no, all of it's just drip, drip, dripping out of my pants. I can't keep it in. My pants are heavy. Be no recognized that this is going to be trouble. How much of this did I write? This is SeaRed IT5, credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol. Emissary Plex Dexeter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 and the Yes No Bartender ship were played by Jeremy Bent. Security Officer Dar and Tiny Toots were played by Ali Kokesh.

Bargy the ship was played by Mujan Zulfagari. Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind. Beano, the droroid miner, and the shrimp delivery ship were played by Winston Knoll. Cruise director Sarah was played by special guest Rekha Shankar. Rekha is currently the head writer for College Humor Originals. You can see her work at RekhaShankar.com and watch her perform in LA at Mess Hall at UCB Sunset or hosting Ha Ha Wow by Reductress Monthly at The Virgil. Follow her on Twitter at Rekha L. Shankar. This episode was Thank you. of our theme song used in this episode. Check out their awesome jazz versions of classic video game themes at 8bitjazzheroes.com

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship designed for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom! Want to hear exclusive live episodes and mailbag episodes, see behind-the-scenes features, chat with the crew, and way more? Then join our heroic supporters on Patreon,

who make this show possible at patreon.com slash mission2zix. Or, if you can't help out crew-wise, there are goodies for all on our Instagram at mission2zix. Toot toot! I must say, you are a beautiful ship. Can I say that? Yeah.

You have the refined elegance of a ship that's really lived a storied and interesting life, but with respect, with dignity. I mean, you're not so bad looking yourself. Thomas, you're supposed to just be delivering supplies.

I have a plan, Seth. Jesus Christ. I know it's soon, but can I ask you a personal question? Of course. Bargy. Why not? How do you feel about Tellurians who are piloting a ship that is not sentient,

looking out the window and talking to you through a microphone? Is that what's happening right now? Yeah, I'm just a Tellurian on this one sentient ship. It's not going to work out. That's great. For a moment, I thought there was something nice out there. And now Seth can say. No, can we do one where it is like a delivery ship,

but Bargie's like, that's the one she's the most excited about. Yeah, here's the shrimp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.