Mission To Zyxx - 215: Two Who? [ft. Jonathan Braylock]

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

The crew is tested by a mysterious stranger. C-53 thinks outside the box. Pleck faces an existential dilemma. Beano know.  Featuring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as Beano Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie With special guest Jonathan Braylock as Two Edited by Alden Ford Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music by Brendan Ryan Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Additional audio from our NYC and LA live show audiences. Thanks for your help!

It is a period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Now, Rebel Emissary Plek Dexeter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Hey, Bargy?

Yeah? I haven't seen your boyfriend around in a while. How's he doing? Hey, Bargy. Yeah. I haven't seen your boyfriend around in a while. How's he doing? Oh, we broke up. What? Why? Honestly, we just didn't have that much in common.

All they did was deliver shrimps, and I am a former international hollow star with a long list of problems and experiences. You're sort of dating down a little bit on that one, Bargy. I got to say, I think you could do better. But also, mainly it was he smelled like shrimp. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Anyway, so say single ready to mingle boop-a-doop-up. I'll make up a new shifter profile. Sure. Okay. Yeah, well, best of luck

out there, you know. Whatever. Nermit, uh, you feeling okay, buddy? Yeah, what do you, why wouldn't Oh, you're just looking out the window so wistfully this whole time. Uh, Bino,

yeah, Bino and I were just looking out the window and it was weird to realize that Dara and I like didn't, when it came down to it, it's like we were, we seem so similar, right? Yeah, it's like you're ships. You're both ships. Ship shit always work.

And then you try to, you just realize you're actually very different on the inside. The one of you delivers shrimp, and the other one doesn't, yeah. Yeah, which one does this shrimp deliver in your and Dara's relationship? Yeah. Nermart's definitely the closest. Whoa, wow. Nermart was the closest she's definitely ever gotten. Sorry, I take that back. Let me do it again.

Narm can fit in this definitely. That's more on target for where we've normally been, yeah? Okay. Yeah, I think I'm probably in the Dar in terms of me and Dar, I'd say I'm the shrimp delivery guy to Dar's bargy. So are we all in here talking about me? We're not all talking about you.

We don't love drama. C53, I take it you're not talking about me. Well, to be honest, I was talking, I was wondering who was the shrimp delivery guy in your relationship with me. Did someone say shrimp? What? Who are you? Hello. My name is too.

Does the word shrimp conjure you? What is going on? No, I just thought it would be a great entrance. If we say shrimp three more times, does that send you away? I don't think it has anything to do with shrimp. This tellurian is right. it has anything to do with shrimp. This tellurian is right. It had nothing to do with shrimp. That was just like your way of entering.

That's right. If you'd showed up with me, you'd be like holding a big shrimp cocktail. Hey, the short shrimp is, I mean, let's move past this. Yeah, who is this? Oh, we're sorry, Brunchy. Why are you bringing up memories? Oh, sorry. No, no, no, I really want to address this.

It's captivated this entire crew, and you're right. I should have come with some shrimp cocktail. How about this? Oh, okay, sure. Now, listen, listen. Wait, wait. Not just me. Oh, wow.

This is very nice. That's mean to make Bargy have that giant platter of shrimp. This is mean. Can I just say that you all are taking this very, very well. Well, we sort of got off on the shrimp thing, and then it kind of stopped being. I think the initial surprise of you appearing on the bridge of the ship wasn't as shocking as me saying. Yeah, but did someone say shrimp? I mean, it implies that you're here for some sort of shrimp-related reason.

So I think we were just trying to figure out that more than we were surprised. I mean, it's fine. When you mentioned it again, I was like, yeah, I do not know how he appeared on this. That should have been equally as mysterious as the shrimp line. Now I'm noticing your cloak and that you are

a very mysterious being. You sort of got a cloak that looks like a starfield that's in motion somewhere. I'm here for a purpose. Oh. Okay. Oh, our shrimp is gone. That's right.

You shall be tested today. Shrimp tested. No, I don't think... I actually thought... We definitely moved past the shrimp. I just want everyone to know, the shrimp thing, it was a non-sakutoa.

Sure, sure, sure. We ascribe too much value to it. Okay. And just for the record, you should know that we talk about shrimp way less. Again, again. I mean, I'm the one who brought it up again, but let's move past.

I'm just saying, it's not representative. It's an atypical day for us to talk about shrimp. Absolutely. We know well talking about shrimp. That's actually not true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough! You've upset me. Oh, jeez. Okay. And the purpose of today's

visit from me, too, is not to talk about shrimp. Failed so far. Now, do you know who I am? No, I don't. Your name is Two. We know that. No, we don't.

I'm a being beyond your comprehension. Yeah, okay. I'm a being that is here to test your mettle. Oh, I don't know. I'm a being that is here to test your mettle. Oh, I don't know. I'm feeling pretty tested right now. We all love tests. Oh, good.

We don't need this ship, right? Hold on. Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on one second. Where did you go? What? What's that? Was that the test?

No, that wasn't a test. Surprise, we can't breathe in space. My eyes, the tears in my eyes were boiling. But also freezing. Simultaneously. Peter had fun. Okay, listen. Two, this is a lot.

Yeah, two. You're right, this is a lot. Let's take it a little slower if we can. Maybe a place that relaxes the mind. How about that? Yes. Would you like a small pear? A small pear?

Yes, I transformed your ship into a circle, a steel circle that hands out food. My name is Bajarian Pear. Please take a pear. Two, can you just please tell me what's going on? I feel like, I don't know, I don't know what kind of test this is supposed to be, but I'm kind of getting scared. All right, here we go.

I am a part of a collective known as the Singularity. Oh. We exist in every corner of the universe. Our purpose is simply to observe and test living organisms to make sure they're worthy of being a part of this great and wonderful circle that we call life. Can I be a ship again? I really don't like this. Oh, sure. Wow.

Archie looks great. There's a circle to be perfectly honest. I was freaking out. You were exceptionally I was freaking out. It was a perfect circle. It was amazing. My pear's gone. You have received an audio transmission from Rebellion Headquarters.

Playback will follow decryption. Listen up, Rebels. This is Commander Sisu Gundu. Support for our rebellion against the complete tools of the Federated Alliance comes from Squarespace. With Squarespace, you can turn your cool idea into a new website, showcase your work, or sell products and services of all kinds. On our Squarespace site, therebellion.space, we upload hard-to-crack, intercepted, encrypted transmissions, several brand-new, incredibly helpful advice posts written by Captain Hark-Tardigas, who... You know, I haven't seen Hark in a while.

I'll tell you this, he better not have joined another trivia team. Anyway, on the Rebellion.Space, there is also a guide to neutralizing Clint's, written by my respected professional colleague and co-parent, okay, Rolfus Tittle. We're fine. A stunning poster for Kurt Manekit's Rep Talk, a page where you can upload your own sound effects

for our weekly propaganda transmissions, and, of course, the page Make a Site, which links to squarespace.com slash zix, where you can get a free Squarespace trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code

ZYXXZIX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's the Rebellion.Space for bleeding edge rebel content and Squarespace.com slash ZIXX, offer code ZIXX for your own new website. I did it!

Gun do out like pow! End of message. Two, what is your purpose here on this ship? I need to determine whether or not the Tellurian race should exist in the galaxy. Oh, wow. Okay, easy. Yes. No.

Oh, sorry. Farchie! Well, come on. Are you not the captain of this ship? What captain? I don't know. I'm the emissary. He's absolutely not the captain.

Yeah, no, that's a big turn out for such a guy. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have acted like that was partially true, because it's actually not true at all. I just am... I'm an emissary. We're rebel emissaries. Barchi kind of flies herself, so captain is not really the... Don't you start most of the

conversations uh i guess yeah i guess so if if you want to put it that way i mean it's actually i mean listen to this hey bargy hey dar hey n-53. Hey, guys. Hey, Bargy. Nermit. Hey. Hey, Dar. Hey, C-53. Hey, Dar. Okay, yes, I start a lot of conversations. I'm a curious, inquisitive person.

From my vantage point, the person who starts the most conversations is a captain of sorts. Oh, okay. Great. Yeah. Well, hey, congratulations to me, I guess then, right? So now, the responsibility of the Tellurian race rests on your shoulders. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Good luck. So he trapped you, Fleck. He trapped you in there. That's a real conversation starter. Well, you know... Oh, boy. Oh, boy, Norman. you in the conversation starter well you know oh boy oh boy norman okay however i will grant you the help of your trusty crew uh great yes i mean yeah that we're best friends most of us so

that sometimes lovers not me i mean just that's a part of the history which one of the crew he doesn't need to know that. Well, it's important. Bino want to know what the test is. Bino want to move things along. Your first test, should you choose to accept it? Oh. Oh, we have a choice?

You have a choice? Yes, every crew member has a choice. Okay. Hypothetically, if we decline the test, what happens? The entire Tellurian race will be decimated. Okay, yeah, let's definitely not. Yeah, let's not. Barty, think hard before instantly declining it, okay?

Your first test, should you choose to accept it, will be here. Yes, you two are alone. Oh, uh, yeah. Is this a box? Are we in a box? No, it seems to be a box. Yes, this is a box of wood. Okay.

You have to find a way out. And if you don't, one of your crew members will perish. Wait, one of my crew members? Okay, so there's a one in three chance it's Beano. Do you not consider your ship a crew member?

I thought you guys were. That's a fair point. So we have to get out of this box. Did I mince my words? My confusion is which of the crew members is. I feel like I really caught up on this. Which crew member is going to die? I'm just saying.

I just assumed you would be equally in love with all of your crew members. I'm saying if there's any chance it's Beano, I'm gonna try a little less hard. But it's a wooden box, is it not? Can I not just punch through this wooden box? Well, all I know is that you guys still haven't gotten out of the box. I actually thought this was one of the easiest parts of the test, and now it's proving that

this test was worth it. Punch out of this box. Oh yeah, seems we're in some sort of this box. Oh, yeah. Seems we're in some sort of storage area. If we get out of the box, then what? Do we just keep going, or...? Wow. Wow.

I instructed you with one task. You still have not exited the box. Proving once again that this test was worth it. Well, this test is sort of oblique. Yeah, too. We're just not that this test was worth it. We're sort of not really sure where the parameters are. Sorry. Is this test not good enough for you? No, no, no. I don't know anything about

tests, do I? I'm outside of the box. I thought it was some sort of trick. I'm pretty sure this is the lower cargo hold of Bargy, right? Hey, Bargy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, we're still on the ship. Well, you passed the test. I mean, I'll see you guys later.

Wait, that was the whole test? I thought we did a good job at that test. Sort of seems kind of easy, right? You know, you feel like with a demi-rod like this, they're trying to trick you. Did there be some sort of irony involved? Yeah, but turns out...

Oh. Uh... So you're stuck and have to find a way out. Of the lower cargo holdings. Yep. Okay, so now that's a sinister lie. That's... Now, okay, now the irony. I get it now. I get it now. Yep. That's now okay. Now the irony.

I get it now. I get it now. Yep. Let's introduce some more players to this game. Listen, I get it. We agreed. We're in the won't they phase of their will they, won't they thing. I was not flirting with him. I wasn't.

I recognized the sparkle in his eye too and frankly I would have been attracted to it but then you were attracted to it so I was not going to be attracted to it. I'm not the only one who flexes. You guys hang on one second. I am allowed to talk to anybody. Of course you are. We're both allowed to talk to whoever we want to talk to. Because you make everything

about you. I make everything about me. I make everything about me. I rode in your flap once. C-53, I think we should get out of here. Yeah, this is becoming... Two has removed the door for some reason to the cargo hold. We need to get out. That means we can just go through if there's no door.

What do you think of the fact that Two chose a form where he's not wearing a shirt? I mean, it's not like he worked for those muscles. He just... Yeah, he sort of manifested the muscles, yeah. He does have a fantastic upper body. It seems like Two doesn't necessarily need a physical form and therefore wouldn't need clothing, so that would be extra. Why are you defending Two?

I'm not. He's clearly some sort of trickster rod who's come in and decided to mess up our life. Hey. Oh. I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something? No, no, no. Did your hair get longer? Do you like it? Yes. We're extremely

luxurious. Thank you. I'm getting used to this form I must say. It's quite fun. Yeah. You know, it's two legs. Turns out. You like legs and arms? Yeah, yeah. I quite fun. Yeah, you know, two legs. Turns out you like legs and arms? Yeah, yeah, I like them. Yeah? Yeah.

My arms and legs! How am I going to get out of the room now? Oh, no. Cleck, you're barely taller than me. You know who has arms and legs, Cleck? Not any of these. But this guy You see very tall refrigerator and on top of this refrigerator is a jar of cookies

Okay, each eat a cookie. Wait, are we still trying to get out of the room? No, this is a new test. We didn't get out of the room. We're still stuck in the room. Yeah, but you guys weren't, like, doing that one. It was, like, really boring. I wanted...

We were trying. No, you were talking a lot. You have no action. Seriously. We don't have action. Look at me. Oh, what a beautiful dance. It's so disgusting to see Tellurian-sized arms and legs attached to a torso that is the size of a bean.

It's deeply wrong. We don't. So. All right, fine, fine. We don't have any arms or legs, but we have to get on top of this refrigerator to eat a cookie. That's right. All right, no problem.

I'll just drag myself with my head. Taking. A little bit longer than I'd like, but I'm making progress. Vito loves cookies. No, no, no. No, no, no, Vito, Vito, wait. Just give us one. You want cookie? Yeah. Yes, no, no, Bino. Bino, wait. Just give us one.

You want cookies? Yeah. One cookie each of us needs to eat a cookie. Yeah. Bino, have they treated you right? Bino, we tuck you in every single night. Bino. We tell you the Bino story every single night.

Perhaps you'd like to look at this playback. This is bad. That's really not going to look good. I feel like you're really caught up on this which crew member is going to die. I'm just saying if they... I was assumed you would be equally in love with all of your crew members. I'm saying if there's any chance it's Bino,

I'm going to try a little less hard. Yeah, we don't come off great in that cliff. Bino. Bino,ano, sad. Oh, Beano, come on. Beano, come on.

Wow. Beano, break arm. No. No. That's my arm. Oh, no. Beano, don't hurt. No, that actually... That is that is upsetting. Wow. So, Beano, did that hurt you? Beano don't hurt. No, that actually... Oh, that's... No, that hurts. That is...

That is... That is... That is... That is... Wow. Don't... Wow. He keeps opening and shutting the refrigerator door on it.

Beano closed door on R. Beano, look at me. Beano, we admit it. We've been disrespectful, and it's because you can be abrasive. But this is your chance to join the team for real. You can help us and therefore be respected. And we'll tell you... Be no-no.

Be no-no. Be no-no? Be no-break other arms! No! No! He can't even pull a cookie out of a jar even if he wanted to. Let's reset. Oh! Please unbreak my arms.

Please unbreak my arms. You don't like them like that? No, it's so painful. Oh, really? All right. You have four legs. Oh, no. Is that better?

I mean, slightly. What about now? Oh, come on! Okay. All his powers. Wait, did you just do that as like a throwaway thing? Because that was horrifying. Very good.

Bino thought this test was okay. Oh, great. Okay, Bino. Yeah, Bino normally loves stuff, so that's actually kind of a harsh review. Huh. Yeah. Hey, too, can I ask, like, how many of these tests have you given to different species? What makes you ask that question?

Why would you ask that? I don't know. I just feel like I can't really tell what these tests are supposed to be doing exactly. Like, it's almost like you don't really know anything about Telerians. Or how to test things. Are you the one being tested? Interesting. Yo, buddy, what's your deal?

Interesting. Bino wanna know the final test. Yes, of course. Okay. Bino, why are you so interested in these tests? Bino love tests. Bino love tests. Bino wanna why are you so interested in these tests? Bino love tests. Bino love tests. Bino want to test a beetle course.

Okay, all right, all right. Do you have a bit of a situation with Bino? Yes. Don't I know it? Hmm? Don't you know it? I'm sorry? Do you not know it?

I need to find a Tellurian that actually cares about fellow man. Might be on the wrong ship. No, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on, C-53. You're looking for a Tellurian who cares? Yes, I just... I need to find a Tellurian who cares about other creatures so that, you know,

we don't have to wipe the species from the face of existence. Okay, well, yeah, I mean, I would say that that's pretty much like a Talorian's whole thing. We're very emotional, care a lot, maybe too much sometimes. Empathetic to a fault. Empathetic to a fault. I can say, despite the regularity with which Plek messes up social situations, offends almost everyone he meets, and drags people into morass.

He really means well. I'm just not intelligent enough to succeed at doing well. So you care about all of these crew members that you have? Yeah, oh, deeply. And I would say that I care way more than I am capable of succeeding at pretty much anything. Hmm.

Well, in that case, I guess just one more test will do. And you really couldn't find, like, another Tellurian? Hmm. Get down on the ground. Yeah, okay. I'm Clint 9214.

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All hail the Federated Alliance. Yeah, all hail the Federated Alliance. And also rock and roll. Yeah. Also rock and roll. Yeah, also rock and roll. Yeah, all right. All right, two, I'm ready.

I'm ready to take whatever test you can throw at me and, you know, probably screw it up. Are you absolutely sure about this? I mean, what other choice do I have? Well, you could maybe prepare for the test a little bit. What? So that Telerians aren't extincted by your potential blowing up this test. I don't know how to prepare for a test like this. I've never... Physically?

That's mean. Okay. Do you want some time? I can give you some time. 50 years, perhaps? No, no, no, no, no. Here we go. 50 years.

Wow. What? Look how pink and wrinkly he is. Plek, where did you just go? Into a space devoid of time or light, substance or matter. For 50 years, I floated endlessly. Did you learn anything? Nothing.

I learned nothing. What did you do for 50 years? For the first six months, I sort of freaked out. And then I was like, I should probably... This is part of the test. Yeah. At a certain point, you just stop. I kind of lost track of reality for a bit.

I kind of floated through. But the thing was, I couldn't see anything. I couldn't... I kind of forgot what was real and what wasn't. That was my bad. Let's reverse that. Whoa. You're like re-inflated. Feeling better?

About what? Right. Of course. Alright. Back to the test. Yes. As you can see, we are standing on a crystal obelisk. Oh. Before you lies the entire Tellurian population.

Ow. Fleck. It's Fleck with a P. Are you test... Wait, are they saying Plek? Have you been testing the wrong tellurian this whole time? Were you supposed to find a Flek? That would explain a lot.

I will tell you this. Flek Dexeter is a very famous tellurian. Hold on. What's your name? Plek with a P. Plek. Plek Dexeter. You're Plek Dexeter. You're Plek Dexeter.

I'm Plek Dexeter, not Flek Dexeter. No, Flek Dexeter is very... Yeah. Famous eyeball player. This makes a lot of sense. But since I've already started, I mean, we might as well finish the test. Oh, I don't know if I...

If you were supposed to be testing Flek... I mean, we might as well finish the test. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. If you were supposed to be testing Fleck. I mean. Fleck. Yes. When I snap my fingers, you will have the intelligence that rivals Bino. What? I think that's a compliment. What?

I think that's a compliment. And it will be up to you to decide what to do when a comet comes. What? To destroy this entire planet that holds the entire Tellurian population. Riding on that comet is Beano. Oh, I see what's going on here. Okay, so my choice is to... My choice is to either save Beano... Wait, if I... You may be given the intelligence now.

What do you feel? Never better. With my enhanced vision from my kek eye, I can tell that the comet's current rate of descent and distance Never better. With my enhanced vision from my kek eye, I can tell that the comet's current rate of descent and distance gives us about a minute and a half, so we'll have to act fast. C-53, can I borrow your left arm, please? Yes. He's chipping away at the crystallobulisk with C's left arm.

I guess you could have asked me to chip away at it. You'd be far too slow for that, C-53. Yeah, look at how fast he's going. Did you also give him super strength? Well, actually, when the Tullurian mind is at top speed, it is able to take the body to limits. Not have you... Not have...

Shut up, you idiot! No! Not that you can break my concentration, but if you could, I would ask you to kindly shut up. Ah, yes. The crystal is nearly complete. Stand back. He's created a giant, refracting laser. This lens I've created will reflect light from this planet's sun and send a beam of focused energy back toward the comet, slowing its descent as it comes towards us.

As the comet blocks out light from the sun, the energy from the lens will decrease as well until the comet is in a perfect geosynchronous orbit around the planet, thereby saving both Beano and the Tellurian species. It's brilliant! Light! Light! Light! Light! Light! Light! Light! Brilliant! I shall also carve in the rest of this obelisk a giant P so that the crowd will know that I am not Fleck, but rather Pleck, deck setter. That's important. It's important to me.

Fleck! Fleck! Fleck! Fleck! They're saying flep. They're saying flep now. That's a common tellurian name. Yeah, well, flepdexeter is a retired zybal player. He's now an umpire. Magnificent. Two, I must say,

it wasn't until you unlocked the depth of my intellect That I was able to fully grasp your test You wanted to see if I would put the existence of my species Above that of a warm being And you gave me the intelligence to save both if I so chose I'm honored that I was selected for this test I hope I've proven the importance of my species Well, thank you. That being said, the Tullurian

race, I mean, it's saved, but important, that's, wow. I definitely would not use that word. Like, there are so many species in all of the different galaxies, and you guys, like, if we were ranking them, which we don't officially,

but like, you know, in the locker room, we rank them all the time. And you guys, I mean, you guys are so far down. There are inanimate objects that rank above you. Give us an example. Moss. Oh, yeah. You can go pretty much anywhere. Yeah.

Inanimate object it is not, but still. Did you switch intelligence with me? I'll be honest. Giving you intelligence took away from mine. It's actually one of the hardest things we can muster. Oh, man. I'm going to need that. Oh.

Plek, how do you feel? Are you dumb again? What do you mean again? I mean, now you have... No, he hasn't taken it back. I still have it. You know, I just gotta say, really pulled out some smart stuff back then, earlier,

and I appreciate that you let me keep all the smarts that I had, because it still feels good. Yep, all the smarts still feels real good. Thank you, Dar. Yes, absolutely. Couldn't have been setter bed. Yeah. Plek, now that you're still as smart, can you explain kind of the math behind that trick you pulled back there?

With the light in the comet? Yeah, just explain it again. This seems a little cruel. So essentially what I did, Beano was on the comet. I thought, what if I was able to use the power of the sun? And then I did. Wow. Brilliant.

Well, I'm satisfied. Sure. Plek. Yeah? Congratulations. Your test has been passed. Toodoo. Toodoo?

That seems like, I think he's trying to make that, yeah. A little mannered. Yeah. Bino? Yeah, Bino here. I, uh, I have finished the test, and I think I did rather well. Excellent. Be no pleased with the progress you made, too.

I... I must admit, that was a hard one. Plek is a creature that is so dumb, I don't know how he's alive. Plek, dumb. Be no smart. Yes. Be no's smart. Yes. Bino, thank you, too. Thank you for running complicated probability field tests in quantum space.

Anytime. Please. It was an honor and a pleasure. And I hope I did you proud. Bino proud. Well, thank you, Bino. And if you ever need me to come back, well, you know my number.

Bino do, too. Bye, Bino. Bino! Is this the Zybog? Yeah, I just wanted to see who was winning. Is that Fleck Dexeter? Yeah, I just wanted to see who was winning. Is that Fleck Decksetter? Yeah, that's Fleck Decksetter. I can't believe we won another game.

We really played really well out there today. You know, it was one of those games that you never knew was going to happen, but I got the smarts on me, and I can basically complete any game successfully 100%. I wonder how he would have done in the test. Yeah. He seems like kind of a jerk. He's in great shape, though.

Yeah, very good shape. Are all the deck setters related? No, no, no, no. It's an incredibly common Talorian name. Let's just say I was in a situation where a comet was coming at me, and what would I do? That's a really interesting question. Thank you so much for asking.

I would basically lift my shirt up and show my abs in 100% that comet would gooey. Gooey? You know, the game's over. We could probably just do this. I mean, honestly, when the athletes just get interviewed,

it's the worst part of the sports broadcast. You can tell they're just platitudes about the game. It's not really... They're good at one thing. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm.

Oil the furioid. We turned off this program. Oh, no. That ship guy is here again. The ship guy? The ship that I broke up with. Oh, the, that ship guy is here again. The ship guy? The ship that I broke up with. Oh, the shrimp delivery ship? It's a giant shrimp.

Oh, see, now there you go. There's some irony. That's the thing. He spent his whole lifetime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did somebody say shrimp? Oh, no. Oh, no.

Yeah. Now, did you do this? Did you turn this shrimp boat into a giant shrimp? Oh, no. Now, did you do this? Did you turn the shrimp boat into a giant shrimp boat? Yes, yes. See, now that's pretty good. Ah, ha-ha. I've learned something after all. I think you're getting there, buddy.

Thank you, thank you. Okay, I'm going for real this time. To la-do. He said to la-do that time. To la-do. I feel like he's still working on it. Shut up. He said to Luddu that time. To Luddu. I feel like he's still working on it. Yeah. To be continued... by Jeremy Bent. Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. The Bargerian Jade, The Bargerian Pear, and Fleck Dexeter were played by Mujan Zulfagari.

Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind. Bino was played by Winston Knoll. To The Demi Rod was played by special guest Jonathan Braylock. Jonathan is the co-host of the Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood podcast and has appeared on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Broad City, and The Jim Gaffigan

Show. He performs regularly at UCB-NY with Astronomy Club. You can find him on Twitter and Instagram at Thank you. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce. Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom. A very special thank you to our NYC and LA live show crowds for providing crowd noises for the entire Tellurian species. Two, I don't know if you're still here, but I prefer Tula-Doo, honestly. Tula-Doo has a Tula-do has a nice sort of parody to it. Well, you know.

We can come back and do Tula-do. I'm gonna leave again. Bye. Tula-do. Tula-do sounds like a person. Wait, wasn't Tula-do a famous Hollywood star? Yeah. Okay. Wow't Tula LeDoux a famous Hollywood star? Yeah.

Okay. Tula LeDoux! Wow, that was... You said it when you came back. He didn't even come in. He came in and said it. What?