Mission To Zyxx - 301: Down With the Emperor!

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

The crew has gone into hiding from the Emperor following the tumultuous events of the Battle of the Planet Crushers. Pleck makes a friend. Dar has news. Nermut gets discovered. Starring: Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as C.L.I.N.T.S Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie Edited by Seth Lind Recording, Sound Design and Mix by Shane O’Connell Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAME’s Macedonian Symphony Orchestra Additional Music by Shane O’Connell Opening Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Mission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network. Become a supporter during the MaxFunDrive for bonus merch and intergalactic bragging rights!

Hey everybody, it's Alden Ford here with the whole cast of Mission to Zix. Hello! Hi everybody! We just have a quick message before we kick off season three. So, as you probably know, we're now part of the Maximum Fun Network, which we're all very excited about. And the reason we joined the network is actually you. Maximum Fun exists primarily through listener support.

And in the last year, some of you may know and some of you may have supported us on our Patreon. And we learned in the last year that listener support is so important to us, not only because it's a great way to interact with our listeners and our fans and give them cool stuff, but it's actually the thing that allows our show to continue. Mission 6 is a big, ambitious show with a lot of moving parts, and it was the listener support we got through Patreon that made season two possible. So from now on, all that listener support will come through Maximum Fun, and specifically the MaxFunDrive, which is happening as we speak, and which is the reason you're hearing this message rather than ads during this episode. So here is your mission. Please go to MaximumFun.org slash donate, select any level

of monthly support that works for you. And when you're asked about your listening preferences, click Mission to Zix and your donation will go to us. It is not an exaggeration to say that the future of our show depends on you doing this. So if you enjoy Mission to Zix, the sound design, the production process, the characters, the storyline, if you enjoy Mission to Zix, the sound design, the production process, the characters, the storyline, if it means something to you, even a sliver of how much it means to us to get to make it for you, this is your chance to literally produce the show with us. So at MaximumFun.org slash donate, you'll see monthly levels for pretty much any budget, from $5 a month up to $200 a month. And yes, you are more than welcome to give $200 a month.

People who can afford it and love MaxFun shows actually do give that much, so, I don't know, join them. Most people choose $10, $20, or $35 a month, and you can choose whatever level is right for you. So, after this episode, we'll tell you all about the bonus content that you'll get for joining. Live episodes, mailbag episodes, ringtones, plus an exclusive piece of physical Mission to Zix merch that you can only get during this year's

drive. But apart from all that cool stuff, which is cool, the real reason we want you to support the show is the show itself, which can truly only exist through your support. And we promise you, the support that you give us is put directly into the show to make it better, to make it bigger, to make it more ambitious, and to make it more sustainable for all seven of us to be able to keep making it. So to prove that to you, we felt it was very important to take season three up a notch. And so the very first thing you're about to hear at the beginning of this episode, and I'm not kidding about this, is a 55-piece orchestra playing our brand new season three music. We are so excited that we were able to do this. And we did it with the very last

scraps of the money we made on Patreon. Could we afford to do this? Is this, strictly speaking, in line with what a podcast might expect to pay for music? Probably not. But did we do it anyway because we want our show to be the most incredible, immersive, epically produced sci-fi podcast ever? Yes. Yes, we did. So please prove us right that this is what you want too at MaximumFun.org slash donate. Select your level and click Mission to Zix. The goal of this year's MaxFunDrive is 25,000 new or upgrading members. And we would be thrilled if you, our listeners, helped reach that goal. So if you've supported us on Patreon, please move that support over to MaximumFun. And if you enjoy the show but you haven't gotten around to supporting yet, we would so appreciate it if now is the time that you consider doing that.

And if you're a Maximum Fun listener who's gotten into our show, and thank you so much for the warm welcome, by the way, on social and on Reddit and everywhere, it's been amazing to hear Maximum Fun listeners start to catch on to the show. It's so great. We would be honored if you added us to the list of shows you support and even consider increasing your level. So that's

MaximumFun.org slash donate. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's really hard to describe how much we enjoy making this show for you and with you. So with that in mind, please enjoy episode one of season three of Mission to Zix. The galaxy has fallen under the shadow of Nermut Bundeloy. Not that one, the other one. Six months have passed since the Battle of the Planet Crushers, where Gunther Ballweed annihilated the Council of Six, destroyed the Rebellion, changed his name, and crowned himself Emperor of the Galaxy. Thanks to Beano's noble sacrifice,

former Rebel emissary Plek Dexeter and his crew have escaped the Emperor's clutches, fleeing to the opulent entertainment planet, Hollowood, where their starship, the Bargerian Jade, has abandoned them for the intoxicating trappings of fame. Without passage back to the distant Zix Quadrant, our intrepid heroes have separated and gone into hiding,

while the Emperor's power continues to grow. Will they answer the call to defend the galaxy from whiteness and bring balance to the space? Only if they can find one another, steal their courage, and set out on another... Mission to Zegs. All right, boys. Approaching drop zone. All right, boys. All right, Clint. Approaching drop zone. Approaching drop zone. Approaching drop zone. Everybody right, boys. All right, Clint. Approaching drop zone.

Approaching drop zone. Approaching drop zone. Approaching drop zone. Everybody knows I'm the best at jumping out of carriers. I'm pretty much sure I'm the best at jumping out of carriers. I don't know. During training, Fitzmyer said I was the best. That's what I heard.

Remember, Emperor Bundaloy wants the subject alive. I was just about to say that we should all remember that Emperor Bundaloy wants the subject alive. Okay. I might be a little late to this, but I think we should all point out that the Ember wants the subject alive. Yeah, we're all saying it. Are we all saying it? Yeah, we're all saying it. All right. Lock and load.

Lock and load. Lock and load. Hey, guys. Lock and load. Yeah. We know, guys. Lock and load. We all know. Lock and load. We know. Guys, lock and load. We all know.

We're locked and loaded. All right, on my count. No, on my count. On my somebody count. All right, three, two, and. All right, let's lock and load, boys. Free falling. We're free falling.

No, we're free fall. I'm free. I'm free falling. No, I'm free falling! I'm free! I'm free falling! No, I'm free! I'm free falling! I'm the best free falling. 5G merch, get your merch for the Vigerian, James! I can't see it. Get down on the ground!

Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground! You want me to get down on the ground! Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground! You want me to get down on the ground? Yeah, that's what we said. Aren't we all on the ground right now? Gravity dictates that, you know, each of us is on the ground. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.

We're all a little bit on the ground, but you guys are going to be more on the ground. He's got a stick! Down on the ground! Down on the ground! You, drop that blaster. Okay. I think you picked the wrong target, strike team. No, we picked the right target.

Are you saying that we picked... No, I mean like... It was the correct target. No, yeah, it was definitely me that you were after. I'm just saying you shouldn't have picked me. Like, you picked the wrong... But we were ordered to, is what I'm saying. You're Black Dexetter.

That's right. The Emperor said you were a powerful warrior. No. I'm a Zima warrior. Is that different from powerful? No, it's more specific. Should I start saying Zima instead of powerful now? No, no.

They're not synonyms. I can. No, but I'm... So, why didn't you say the Emperor wants you captured? Yeah, I know. We were supposed to bring you in alive. Listen, I left you alive because you're going to go back to the Emperor

and tell him that Plek Dexeter's coming for him. I'm never going back to Emperor. What? I want to join you. No, no, no, no. You have to go. You're the messenger. You're the only one alive.

You have to go back. But I'm changed now. This encounter has changed me. How has this changed you? I'm different now from all the other Clint's. Well, that's genetically. I mean, I thought I was, I mean, I'm the best. I was sort of better than them.

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I was exceptional. Yeah, I'm gonna, I gotta go, actually. I'm going with you. No, no, no. I'm renouncing my Clint-dom. Seeing this, feeling, it was something like, it felt like you were really in tune with,

there was like space between everybody. What was that? What did you say? There was like space between everybody. It felt like you were kind of moving through it. You fell down a bunch. Yes. But you also hit people with that stick. You saw that? Uh-huh. What's your mission? Yes.

Yes. You saw that? My mission? My mission is to defeat whackness in all of its forms. My mission is to unite the galaxy in freshness. You know, it's not just as easy as saying that.

You have to live fresh, you know? You have to live... I have to eat fresh? Yes, you have to live moss and eat fresh. I'm loving it. Sorry to interrupt. Oh, sorry, yes. I just need to be in a bit of a conversation.

Can you take a picture of my family and I? We've never been to Hollywood before. Yeah, I can take it. Okay, hold on. One, two, three. Bargy! Okay. Can you do it again?

I want the Hollywood sign behind me. Okay, now it makes sense. Can you also do portrait mode? You know what? Let me do it. Don't get your whole hand in there like I did. Your whole hand? Well.

Okay. One, two, three. RG. Enjoy your trip to Hollywood. I look weird. Wow. Is that what I look like? Listen, I'm a Zima warrior.

I don't really have time to take a multi. We weren't talking to you. This photo makes me sad. I'm just saying, don't blame me for taking a weird photo. You're sort of a weird-looking person. You've got a weird-looking eye patch. I lost an eye in battle. I didn't tell you to do that.

I know, but I'm just saying, don't call out... You're weird-looking because I think you have bad taste in hair and your clothing. Well, sounds like we both got a lot to answer for. Hey, let's just move on. We're going to be late to the Tiny Tooth's Memoriam Museum. So, Master Dexeter. What? I renounce the Budaloy Empire.

Uh, no, no, I'm just, I was... I will serve you the rest of my days. Okay, that's not necessary. I'm the Clint that's the best at having, you know, a spiritual epiphany and then changing my ways. Uh-huh. And I will serve you. And is it magic or religion? What is it?

No, I'm glad you asked. It's the space, actually. It's a sort of mystical force, you might say, that kind of holds it. No, you have to believe in it. So that's religion to me. Yeah, but I don't get into it. But it's also magic? Is that what you're trying to say? It's not.

It seems like you're trying to keep your options open on this one. I know what it is. All right. Listen, go tell the emperor I'm coming for him. I'll go, but then I guess you'll never find your crew again. My crew? Yeah. All the other strike teams are going after your friends who used to be your crewmates.

Then there's no time to waste. Fine, you can come with me. What's your call sign? My call sign is AJ2884. But you You can come with me. What's your call sign? My call sign is AJ2884. But you can call me 2884. What? Why would I call you 2884?

AJ's a real name. You just happen to have a call sign with a real name in it. 2884 is not a real name. I can go AJ. That sounds fine. Okay. AJ. I like it. I'll be AJ. I'll follow you, Plek Dexeter, to the ends of the galaxy.

Where do we start? Well, I have C-53, a protocol and diplomatic relations droid. He's so much more than that. He has, like, knives in his hands or something? No, no, he's just, he's my best friend. But you said he's more than that. My closest advisor. Alright. C-53's in danger,

and we will do whatever it takes to extract him from his situation. Are you ready? Yes. Tell me advisor. Alright. C-53's in danger and we will do whatever it takes to extract him from his situation. Are you ready? Yes. Tell me where he is. Oh, the rats. Alright, so that's one of our deep combo. That's a small milkshake and two orders

of bottom-up fries. No, no, no. I'm sorry. What's the size between small and very big? Are you talking about medium? No. What's the size between small and very big? Medium? No, no.

Excuse me, I just want you to know that I'm patiently waiting, not worried at all about the duration of this exchange. Onward as you were. I really just want to find out whether off and on burgers is going to spaceship. Well, it's on and off burgers. Excuse me, I choked

on the toy. I'm going to sue. What is your name? My name is C-53 Madam. I'm the ambassador here in Adelof. I have two mouths. Well, you can't be choking from the mouth you're speaking to me from. No hurry on my end. This is exactly, so far it's exactly like space shock.

Ma'am, could you run into the back of that chair? Oh, that toy is out. Halfway through my three-hour lunch hour. Let's just do it all Bargy style. You've got it. That's one Bargy combo, one Bargy style small milkshake, and some Bargy style on and off fries. Oh, I've forgotten my wallet.

Abigail, you've done it again. Abigail, I do hope you'll join us again. And I'll dispose of this meal in the meantime. Have a great day. Thanks for coming. Ah, my turn. Hello, sir. Welcome to on an off-brander.

What can I get you? I wasn't here for food. All right. And a good day to you. Okay. Okay, I'll have the one, uh, Space Shack burger. So a reminder, this is not Space Shack. This is on-off.

But you guys don't have Space Shack burgers? We have on and off burgers. Well, space shack only has space shack burgers. That's how branding works, sir. I mean, to rock your world. You're rocking my world. Master Dexeter, it seems that we've arrived before the strike team. Master Dexeter?

What does master, what does that refer to? I thought you were master of the space. I haven't agreed to teach you anything. Papa Dex said it? No. Much worse. Why would you say that? I don't know.

I'm just trying to think of different... Just call me Plek. Okay. Master Plek. We're head of the strike team. Yes, excellent. Okay, AJ, I need you to sneak into the manager's office and grab the restraining bolt remover. It's probably in a drawer somewhere.

It's got a series of green lights on the top that corresponds to the green lights on C-53's frame. Got it? So where's the office? It's through that door with the word manager on it. Well, why didn't it say office? You know what I mean? Okay.

AJ, you know what? I'll go get the restraining bolt remover. No, I'm the best at getting restraining bolt remover. I was told. It can't possibly be true. You don't know what situation I'll go get the restraining bolt remover. No, I'm the best at getting restraining bolt. I was told. It can't possibly be true. You don't know what situation I've been in, Papa. Please don't call me back. You order something at the desk.

Demand to talk to his manager, and I will. I'd like to order something and speak to a manager. Wait in line. Wait in line. I'd like to order something and speak to a manager. Sir, we have a fairly obvious line structure. If you could just fall in line. I'm doing it, and I'm in the line now,

and I'd like to order something and speak to a manager. No need to update me any further until you reach the front of the line, sir. Thank you. One step at a time. I think I'm doing great. Somebody say they want to speak to a manager. Yes, I would like to. I'm ordering stuff and speaking to the manager.

Now's your chance. Now's your chance. Just relax. Hi, manager. I'm relaxed right now. And I'd like to order something from you. You don't need to order from me. That's what my fine employee sees. I'd like to speak to the manager. Okay, well, would you like to order

or would you like to speak to the manager. Okay, well, would you like to order or would you like to speak to the manager? I've been told to do both. You've been told to do both? Yes. C-23, I'm here to save you. Come with me. Quick, what did you just do? I had to remove this grill station in order to have a little bit of room for us to exit. Okay.

Look, come with me. We've got to go. You're in grave danger. Well, uh, like I'm sure that I'm a valued employee here at the Arnoff Burger family. Okay, no, not anymore. A larger organization that owns the many fine Arnoff Burger locations. Stop, no, listen. You're so much more than that.

We have to get back out to the Six Quadrant and save the galaxy. I think the On and Off Corporation values me just a little bit more highly than you do. Okay, alright, just hold still. Okay. I'll have what you're having.

We're on my ride. C53, let's go. Click, I can't thank you enough. This has been a punishing six months. I spent the last six months training to become a Zeman Knight. Click. And I'd like to speak to the manager. friends species of all kinds i've just got a couple more tunes tonight thanks so much for coming out remember we're gonna there's gonna be a hat pass later for tips. Everything's appreciated because I'm

a professional musician. Okay. Isn't that part so quiet? One, two, one, two. I used to fly, I used to have, have, have it all. I used to send them out on missions. Near and far and here and there. And I all along was a loving dog. A loving dog.

What's a dog? This is almost unknowably sad. Yeah, this is, I mean, man. So he's a song guy? What is his deal? Well, I mean, sort of on the side. It's kind of an aspiration side hustle, sure, yeah. I know where you found me was not the most glamorous location, but somehow I feel this is far worse.

Yeah, there's like two other people in this bar. Yeah. location, but somehow I feel this is far worse. Yeah, there's like two other people in this bar. They used to say that's cool, Nermin, but is there a mission? We can't talk all day, we gotta get out in the stars. Is he selling merch or something? Can I say, guys, you're not gonna

believe this one, it's hot like nuclear fission. Listen. That's bad. Listen, C-53, I know that this song is, I mean, who knows how much longer it's going to go on. But we just need to get up. It's sure. We just need to get him and get out.

Sure. Before the strike team shows up. I used to fly. I never technically flew, but I managed. People who do fly through the stars so so far it was like they were with me it was like I could see

what they saw when they went to the stars without me thank you thank you so much. I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt. You, of course, must know who I am. I am Lucius Montgomery. Of course I know who you are. Most famous music producer in all of Hollywood.

Oh my gosh. It's such an honor. I've been going to open mics for years now. Yeah. This is actually a residency. I'm trying to find a new act, a new voice. And you, wow, what can I say? I have never seen anyone ever sweat as much as you have on stage. What? What? Yeah, no, I mean, because you gotta sweat to get to that level of...

I just wanted to say only that I have to go now. I'm a very busy person. I'm very busy. Goodbye. You're going... What? Why are you... Everyone, so I think you guys just witnessed me getting discovered.

Wow. This is what we're going to look back on and say. I used to play in this club. Let's take a request. Yeah, I've got a request. Why don't you stop doing this and come with us? Plek! Hey, guys, good to see you.

Thanks for coming out. Guys, these are some of my close friends coming out to the show. What's your request? It's time to go. Nermin, our request is that this room stops immediately and we leave. Yeah, it's time to go, Nermin. No, no, I mean, did you guys see that I just got signed, maybe? He just called you sweaty and left.

Nermit, we need to get out of here. You're in grave danger. Honestly, there's a strike team after you. We have to get out of this club right now. A Clint strike team sent to assassinate you could be in grave danger. Guys, there's a Clint right there. Oh, not that Clint. No, this is AJ.

That's confusing because he was part of a strike team. What? Oh, not that Clint. No, this is AJ. Wait, wait. Okay. That's confusing because he was part of a strike team. What? Sure. I used to be a Clint, a cloned light infantry nomadic trooper. We know what a Clint is. Does everyone know what a Clint is? Most people. Yeah, we all know.

All right. You were hanging out with him? He defected and sort of demanded to be my partner. I would say he's sort of tagging along. Yeah. Okay. Hi, AJ. Hey.

We'll see whether it works out. Pound it. Nermit, listen, pack up your stuff. Let, AJ. Hey. We'll see whether it works out. Found it. Nermit, listen, pack up your stuff. Let's go. Guys, look around me. This is what living the dream looks like. This is a literally empty bar, Nermit. I've got an old gurt milk crate full, full of wood chips to sleep in. Okay?

That's not... That sounds like a background. I'm doing it. Are you doing it? I mean, I've got a long shirt that covers my area. I don't have pants, but I've got a long shirt.

I mean, that's pretty much making it, if you ask me. Nermit, listen. We can debate whether or not you're a successful professional musician at any time. I don't read reviews. Okay.

There are none to read. Nermit, we have to get out of here. There's a strike team coming after you. That's true. Strike team number four, it's on its way. Wow, that's the fourth strongest strike team. That's how strike teams work. Wait, what?

I got the seventh strongest strike team? What strike team do I have? You had strike team number two. I'll take it. Seven? There are only five of us. I also understand that had strike team number two. Take it. Seven? There are only five of us. I also understand that the strike team is incoming in three, two, one. Nermin, this way.

Let's go. Let's go. Get down on the ground. Get down on the ground. What are we going to do? You guys go out the back door. I'll stall them. AJ, are you sure?

By yourself? Listen, your mission's important. I wish I could be part of your crew, but it looks like I'm just an ancillary character in your story. Hey, Jay, you know, I really... Okay, all right. Don't worry, strike team. I'm already on the case. Wait, who are you? Well, I'm AJ-2884.

Okay, well, what are you? Well, I'm actually part of strike team seven. So, yep. But I'm the guy who's already been here. AJ's actually making a pretty good distraction. But I'll be the one who puts my gun down. We'll all put our guns down. Okay, well, I'm just saying, guys, I'm Strike Team 7.

Yeah, we're all on Strike Team. No, but I'm on Strike Team. I'm on Strike Team, too. What I'm saying is that we're both on Strike Team. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, well, I think you should leave. Well, I think you should leave. Maybe we should both leave. Maybe we should. No, no, no. No, I'm going to be the're both on strike teams. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, well, I think you should leave. Well, I think you should leave. Maybe we should both leave.

Maybe we should. No, no, no. No, I'm going to be the one who's going to go. Man, that was close. Phew. You know, I mean, listen, AJ is not, like, the brightest Clint. He wasn't here for very long, but I think I'll always remember AJ and his sacrifice. Hey, guys, I'm right here.

Oh, yeah, AJ. Wow. I made it out. Thank goodness. I'm, guys. I'm right here. Oh, yeah. AJ. Wow. I made it out. Thank goodness. I'm a bastard. I'm so glad you joined us. Yeah, I just walked out of the bar.

Okay, great. Cool. So I can... Do you want me to die? Is that what you want me to do? Yeah, what? Do you want me to be dead? No.

No, what? No. Oh, you were speaking in the past tense. I thought you wanted me to... No, I just thought you weren't... I didn't think you were... I thought that was it for you. I thought that was sort of the end of your arc, as it were.

Oh. Wait, but AJ, are you... Are you telling us that there's strike teams coming for every former crew member of the Bargerian Jade? Does that mean the DAR is in danger? That's right. There's actually two strike teams going after the one known as DAR. What numbers? One and three.

Oh, wow. That's the best one and the third best. I got seven. Well, five and six are on a bi-week. Okay. I'm the chosen one of the space. Well, I don't make the schedule. Okay.

Dar is at a farmer's market. Dar is at a farmer's market? That's what the job says. That can't be right. Dar's a giant, cranky monster. 12-foot-tall beast with chest talons. I mean, I think they have pretty wide lanes for you to go through the stalls. That's not really what it's about.

I don't know gang that we're all a part of now. That's presumptuous. That's presumptuous. It seems like strike teams one and three are descending on this farmer's market. Okay, let's run fast, but not so fast that my shirt flies up. Above your area? Above my area. We could just get you some pants.

That would be amazing. What happened to your pants? They got bit. I was sleeping in an alley full of rats, and the rats ate the pants. That'll happen. Yeah. I love you. Gregorio, these zoodles this week. Mmm, chef's kiss. You like them?

They are really... You know, I thought last week's... I had them kissed by a chef. Montabene, chef's kiss. A kiss by a chef. Montabene. Chef's kiss. A kiss by a chef. Wow. You hold it up

and you have a kiss. Well, Gregorio, let me tell you, the two of us are very happy with this week's crop. Oh, congratulations. Thank you.

Oh, how far along are you? About six months. Oh, my goodness. Okay. All right, Gregor Oh, my goodness. Okay. All right, Gregorio, see you next week. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

Gregorio says adieu. Dar, my darling Dar. Oh, Celestine, do you have the amethyst I'm after? I do. You just have to promise me your special herbs. Master Jacksetter, it seems like we're too late. Both of the strike teams have converged on the target.

What do you mean? Dar seems totally fine. Well, you'll have to ask them. I'm so, uh... Celestine, I'll be a moment. Uh, Dar. Wow, you. You look different. Dar, you You look different Dar you've got a real

Just relaxed energy about you You're glowing Thank you This is such a flowing gown Dar what are you doing here Oh they have really wide lanes here Told you But also

I told you I like your sun hat Who are you This is AJ. I'm sorry. We should have met. Hi, I'm AJ. Should have led like that.

Dara, listen. Dara, listen. You're in a lot of danger. There are two strike teams on their way here to kill you. I suppose you're talking about those two groups of Clint's. Look at me. Get down on the ground. Get down on the ground.

Get down on the ground. Okay, real good, buddy. Let's call it a day. Get away from those corpses. Oh, yep. Oh, Clint's. That's, well, just smushed. I raged out hard.

Right between the tomato stand and the bread. Yeah, well, gentlemen, I really enjoyed this, but I just get so tired in the afternoons, I really need to get back to my beachfront all-glass hut and take a snooze in my beanbag. Dart, listen, that sounds...

Dart, I mean, I don't see it. Dart, listen, that sounds great. Yeah, how'd you keep the rats away from your pants? What? I don't think that's as common as you think it is. What do you mean? Dar, we'll cover that later.

It's a good question. It's a valid question. Well, I don't know. As you can see, Dar is not wearing pants. No, I'm wearing this flowing sack of hemp. You know, it's been a while since I've seen you guys, so a couple things have changed. All right, one big thing has changed.

Whoa! Dar! Dar, amazing. Congratulations. Congratulations. Dar, this is amazing. Congratulations. Chill for two seconds. Dar, this is amazing. Congratulations.

Thank you. I'm about 18 months off from birth, but... Oh. What's changed? AJ, can I just chat with you for a second? Sure, sure. AJ, we're all excited to have you. And, you know, we really appreciate you giving us the information about the strike teams so that none of us die.

Locations of everyone, yeah. That was obviously extremely helpful. Great. But, I mean, Clint knows what annoying is, right? Ah, got it, got it, got it. Are you following this? Yeah, I hope so. Nerm, it's being annoying.

Keep an eye out on it. Let's do that. Hey, keep an eye out on it. Don't worry. Let's do that. Hey, Dar. Can I ask you... Hey, Nermit. How are you? You know, I'm good. I just gave up a promising music career to rejoin the crew, but...

I'm sorry to cut in here. That's not true. But can I ask you a question? Sure. Is it mine? Oh, boy. Nermit, I... It could be yours.

Let's just say there are a lot of horses in this race to be its mother and or father. Right about the time that we all split up, I went on a real jucking bender. And by jucking bender, I mean I... A jucking bender. I jucked a lot. Yeah, bender where you juck. It's a double entendre. Yeah, yeah.

Single entendre. See now, AJ, what you might not know is that these two used to have a romantic relationship. Sort of an on-again, off-again burger sort of situation. How is that possible physiologically? So I would crawl up into the flap. You don't need to talk about that. All you need to know is that anyone else who is involved in their creation

is no longer in the picture. Okay. Got it. Okay. Got it. Okay. It's a masterful statement and not revealing anything. Hey, Black. What? I'm the father.

Okay. You can read between those lines, right? Can you read between the lines? Yes, I'm the father. Listen, Dar, it seems like you've really got Hollywood figured out. I never would have thought that you would be someone who would really embrace the lifestyle here. Me neither. Yeah.

But I'm really glad you guys came to visit. Thank you so much. No, no, Dar, we're not visiting. Listen, I got everybody back together. Oh, you're not visiting? Okay, goodbye then. No, Dar, wait, come back. I know you've made a life for yourself here and your baby, whatever that is, whatever's going to come out.

Let's let them decide what they're going to be later, okay? Fair enough. Listen, in the last six months, I've become a Zima Knight. What? Proud of you. No, wait a minute. Externally confirm that. Okay, well, I am one.

No, stop it. What? I became a Zima Knight for one reason. To take down Emperor Nermit Bundeloy. What? I became a Zemanite for one reason. To take down Emperor Nermit Bundeloy. What? Not you. Oh, Nermit Bundeloy. To take down Emperor Nermit Bundeloy.

Yes, probably yes. But I can't do it without the three of you. And I have a plan. The four of us. Oh. And AJ, I guess. Okay, good. Are going to return to the Zik Squadron.

We know that the Emperor is there. We're going to travel from planet to planet, drumming up support, and we're going to take the fight to the Emperor. It's a crazy plan, but it might just work. Isn't this exactly what we were doing before? I mean, yes, in the sense that it's... Okay, yes, it's exactly... The formula works. I don't see why you'd want to break it.

Yeah, thank you, AJ. Thank you. I'm just saying, it's... Okay, yes, it's exactly... If the formula works, I don't see why you'd want to break it. Yeah, thank you, AJ. Thank you. I'm just saying, it's what we're all best at. Nermit can tell us where to go. You can, you know, kick some ass. C53 knows everything already, and I'm going to be there as a Zemanite. And I need you to come with us, because you're the only one who can protect us all. Dar...

I can't do it without you. He may not be able to do it with you. Okay, that's rude. Plek, I'm going to stop you right there. Okay. Honestly, with this creature on the way, I have to say I'm in. What? Yeah, that's the spirit.

Because I want to prove to them that an omnisexual being can have it all. All right, Dar. Yes. Yes, Dar. Yes. AJ. Too much. Guys, you know, we saved the hardest for last. I don't know how we're going to get Bargy out of Hollywood. I mean, this is really her element. Bargy dolls, get your Bargy dolls.

Only for 15 krewn each. Guys, can we pool it together? Who's got krewn? No, we're not buying it. Bargy, listen, guys. Pull the Bargy strings, and she says her famous new catchphrase. All right. Everyone makes mistakes.

What? Everyone makes mistakes. What? Everyone makes mistakes. That's sort of a sign that maybe she'd be willing to... Buy my merch. I'm bodging. Is that in the context of a movie? I mean, let's look around at the billboards. So there's Bargerian Jade stars in Atmosphere 5. It's Fear Atmosphere. F-E-A-R.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. I also know what all the words mean. Can you not read? What? AJ. AJ, do you not know how to read? Huh?

Hey. AJ, when you look at somebody's fake, what are you looking for? It's a fake. Oh, boy. So maybe his work is done. We could just sort of turn around and look that way. Maybe you're just part of the world now? I don't think so.

Master Dex Center said that I was part of the crew now. I didn't really say that in so many words. AJ, did he tell you to call him Master Dex Center? I I was part of the crew now. Okay, I didn't really say that in so many words. AJ, did he tell you to call him Master Dex Center? I mean, it was implied, I think. No, I did not. Master Dex Center, we need to find the ship. What's this ship that you're talking about? The Bargerian Jade.

Wait, they can't be sending a strike team to kill the Bargerian Jade. It's just one of the most famous ships in Hollywood. Help me. I don't want to. Yeah, these dolls are annoying. And we are live here at the red carpet for Atmosphere 5, starring Hollywood's hottest ship, the Bargerian Jane. Hello, hi. So happy to be here. You know, a movie is nothing without its fans. Hello, Barger. So good to see you.

Hey, this is the eighth Hollow you've released in a six-month period. What does it feel like to be back on top? It feels like I was in the bottom. I was drowning for a little bit. Oh, sure. Anyway, but now I'm kind of like maybe like an inch off of the surface. All right, Barge. Barge, over here, over here.

Species Weekly. Hey, Barge, listen., over here. Species Weekly. Hey, Barge, listen. You recently opened two children's hospitals. How does it feel to be a galactic hero? You know what? Children are our future because that's how it works. So true, so true. Barge, Hank Tabelma, Hollywood Reportage.

Hello, hi. Great to see you again. Old pals, old pals. Are you wearing my pin? I love my pin. You're wearing my pin? I love my pin. You have gone on the record as one of the biggest donors to save the Milpish. What is it about the Milpish that's the species you chose? You know of all the species, when I looked at photos that my sister showed me,

they seemed the most sad. So the faces are more frowny. So true. Wow. I base it off of that. That's an amazing answer. Vargie, Vargie, great answer. Great answer.

Didudop Quisp from the Weekly Nabila, you caused a bit of a riot by shooting Kroon out of your vanity guns at your premiere last week. No one was hurt, but people were shaking up a little bit. Are you going to shoot money at this premiere? We've got to know. I definitely will. They might have been shaking up, but their bank accounts were shaking up too. Right? You got some.

I did. I got a little bit. Bazzi, Bazzi. It's single recampus. I'm down here. I'm down here. I'm in the carpet. Inside the red here. I'm down here. I'm in the carpet. Inside the red carpet.

Very little. Long microphone. Okay. So, this is going to be a little touchy, but I've heard that when your fame has risen, it's possible that you've been a little estranged from your son, your devoted son, Blimpy. Thank you. I don't know what the question was. Roger, real quick, you're currently the

spokesperson for lotion, water, and towels. I love all those three. What else would you be the spokesperson of? For hand cloths, for napkins. And if you could right now, would you just pitch a couple of your new catchphrases?

Hey, if you want a napkin in your hand, grab it. I'm budging. Uh-oh, there's a clock. Why don't you put it into your hand as well? Look at her. She's in her element. This is what she always wanted. Signing autographs, dumping oil.

She's on billboards for two different holos that are across from each other. She's on every product. She's living a dream. Who is this? Barge. The Bargerian Jade. AJ. Listen, you can't just watch my holo

if you're not going to buy anything. Get the duck out of here. Hey, okay, we're leaving. That's not... Listen, guys. We love Barge, but it was never going to be all six of us, you know, for this long.

You know, let's let Bargy follow her dreams, and, you know, it'll be okay to have a different ship. Sure, sometimes when people move to Hollywood, it's just a new chapter in your life. Yeah, it'll be the same vibe. You know, we'll visit as many planets as it takes. We'll find enough people to join our cause, and we'll take down the emperor ourselves

alright in I'm in AJ you know what AJ just stay here okay great thank you for gracing us with your presence AJ

jeez okay yeah me too wait what let's go let's just go presents, AJ. Jeez. Okay, yeah, me too. Wait, what? Let's go. Let's just go. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to say what happened. Let's just go. I need to get out of here right now. Let's go. Let's go. It looks like later tonight.

Bargy, all your dreams came true. Everybody looks great. I miss you so much. Get the jock in and let's get out of here. Okay, okay, okay. We're getting out of here. Wow miss you guys so much. Get the jock in and let's get out of here. Okay, okay, okay. Jock things up. We're getting out of here. Wow, that was a mistake. Woof, woof. I'm a dog. Let's go, let's go. Yes, everything inside of me is, like, incredibly expensive now.

Like, I'm macing and I have, like, the top-notch technologies. Throw those out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's very expensive and is also property of Universal Talent Agency. I'm just gonna dip it over the expensive tech. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Where are we going? This is SeaRed IT5. Credits and attributions joined. Commencing outro protocol. Stay tuned after the credits for an important message from the crew. Zemanite Plek Dexeter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Margie the Ship was played by Mujan Zulfagari. Nermin Bundaloy was played by Seth Lind. AJ and the Clintz were played by Winston Knoll. This episode was edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Recorded at Robert Ducky Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York. Music composed by Brennan Ryan and performed by FAME's Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

With Jentawa vocals by the audience at our Season 3 kickoff show. Additional music by Shane O'Connell. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Bishop DeZix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Hey again, it's Alden here with the whole cast. Hey!

Hello! I mentioned up top that we would tell you about some of the amazing exclusive content and gifts you can get for becoming a new or upgrading member of MaxFun. So, here we go. If you join now at any level, you'll get access to the exclusive Mission to Zix content that we've been making since January of 2018. So for the Patreon, everything that we made for the Patreon is available there, as well as everything we will make in the future on MaxFun. So that includes four live episodes with more on the way, which are honestly some

of our favorite episodes we've ever recorded. It's so fun performing the show live for fans. Plus, there's a bunch of ringtones by a number of different characters on the show, and some behind-the-scenes features showing how we make the show. And because, I don't know, we are legitimately insane, we produced a full-length Bermit Nundeloy album as a stretch goal on Patreon, and that is available at Maximum Fun as well. So there's lyrics that Seth improvised, and then our sound designer Shane went in and produced it the way he would produce an actual legitimate album, and it sounds so, so, so, so good. So if you become a member at MaximumFun.org slash donate, you'll get access to all of this exclusive content

and more to be released in the future. Plus bonus content from all of the other amazing MaxFun shows. So that's for every member from $5 a month and up. Every piece of bonus content that's made by all of the MaxFun shows, including ours. Again, we rely on listener support to make Mission to Zix. The ads that we sell on the show only go so far towards making the show sustainable for us, and we only have so much control over which advertisers are interested in a show like ours. So our move to Maximum Fun is completely based on the faith that you will sign up to support the

show, because our ability to make it truly depends on that. And we're honestly excited for you all to get to hear all of this exclusive stuff. And then, get this, there's merch. There's merch you can hold in your hand, or your pinchers, or claws, or whatever. If you join at, or upgrade to, $10 a month, you'll get a custom enamel pin that's only available during this year's drive. We helped design it with the incredible Megan Lynn Cott, who designed all of the pins for this year's drive, and you also get access to all of the bonus content. So you have to do that now before the end of the drive, which is March 29th, 2019. The pin that we designed says, use the space, it's got a wood saber in it, not to be confused with a stick, and it is very cool.

We can't guarantee that it'll allow you to use the space, but I mean, couldn't hurt, right? We're sort of all using the space a little bit right now. Anyway, it's only available during the drive. And then at $20 a month, you get this glorious 550-piece 28 by 24-inch Maximum Fun puzzle, plus the pin and the bonus content. And then at $35 a month, you get a clear glass Maximum Fun coffee mug, which is engraved with their cool rocket logo, the puzzle, the pin, and all the bonus content. So you choose whatever level is right for you at MaximumFun.org slash donate and get that stuff.

Select Mission to Zix, enter your info, and boom, you are making the show with us. Thank you so much for listening and for helping. And to all of the Maximum Fund listeners who have welcomed us so warmly and told us that you've already added us to your list of shows or increased your pledges because of us, that means so much to us. Join these heroes of the space now at MaximumFund.org slash donate. Thanks again. See you next week. MaximumFun.org

Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. I'm really hot. Should I kind of want to take this helmet off? AJ, actually, it helps me if you have your helmet on. Why? We personally know Rolfus Tittle, the guy you were cloned from,

and it's really weird if... Yeah, if you took your helmet off, they might think you're Rolfus Tittle, the guy you were cloned from, and it's really weird if... Yeah, if you took your helmet off, they might think you're Rolfus who escaped somehow. They might try to kill you. Okay. It's just really hot in here. We'll get you a system of fans. I don't think AJ's going to have fans.

You never know. You never know. No, I think we got a pretty good idea. Yeah, I think we know. you never know you never know no I think we got a pretty good idea yeah I think we know then again we thought Vito wasn't gonna have any that's true