Mission To Zyxx - 306: The Fresh Connection [ft. Rachel Wenitsky]

Episode Date: April 24, 2019

The crew browses a gift shop with a fascinating proprietor. Dar has a small issue. C-53 geeks out. Pleck gets jelly. Jeremy Bent as C-53 Alden Ford as Pleck Decksetter Allie Kokesh as Dar Seth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy Winston Noel as AJ Moujan Zolfaghari as Bargie, the Tube, and the Tiny Assassin With special guest Rachel Wenitsky as Marf Edited by Seth Lind Recording, sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAME’s Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Audio hosting by Simplecast Mission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.

This is CRED IT5 with a special announcement. Mission to Zix is performing live in Nashville, Tennessee at the PodX Podcast Convention on the weekend of June 1st. We'll be improvising a brand new episode, appearing on all sorts of rad panels, and hanging out with you. Get your tickets at missiontozix.space and check out the full weekend lineup at podx.com.

It is a time of fear and unrest. Emperor Nermut Bundeloy rules the galaxy with an iron fist and also a planet crusher. Crusher. Now, Zemanite, Plek Dexeter, and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy

to defeat Wackness, bring balance to the space, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Six. Hey, who's free? Who's free right now? Who's free? I'm pretty free. Great. Can you go to the closet that's next to the humidifier? Uh-huh.

Okay. And can you take everything that's in that closet and put it into a box? Okay. Some of it's mine, but... Yeah. Does it matter? Just put it into a box. Okay.

Also, Barney, there's a lot of stuff in this closet. Right. Just put it into a box. Also, Barney, there's a lot of stuff in this closet. Right, just put it into a box. There should be a couple of little posters in there. We're looking at them right here. Oh, yeah, this is a poster for Into Out to Into Out. Oh, wow, and it's in Gentawa. There was a Gentawa dub of Into Out to Into Out? There's a Gentawa dub of every.

What was the movie called in Gentawa? Wow. Gentawa, Gentawa, Gentawa, Gentawa dub of Into Out to Into Out? It's the Gentawa dub of every. What was the movie called in Gentawa? Wow. Gentawa, Gentawa, Gentawa, Gentawa. Oh, yeah. All right, and then just write on the box, take it all for sale. Bargy, I feel like there's some valuable stuff in here. You can't just put it on the sidewalk. Oh, that's true, that's true, that's true.

For sale, put more money than you think. Okay. It's everything you use. Let's see if you don't write that. Well, I mean, she's asking me to. No, stop. I don't know if it's going to be successful, but I'll write it on here. That seems...

Hey, are you all out there? Yeah. Yeah, Dara, what's up? Okay, I just, um, uh... I have entered the next phase, we'll say, of this experience going on

in my body. Okay. And before I exit my room, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I know I look different, and I don't want to feel your eyes on me.

You know, Dar, I just want to tell you, you know, you're beautiful. Oh, my rod. I shouldn't have said that out loud, but I couldn't help it. Wow, you're Nermit size. Dar, you are so small. Where did that mass go? Dar, you are so small. Yeah. Where did that mass go? Well, the mass has been conserved.

You'll notice that Dar is usually, of course, much smaller, but look how dense. No, Dar, you're denting the floor walking around. Yeah. Yeah, this vase uses up a lot of my energy. Yeah. So I've contracted. Hey, Pop Dexter. What is it, AJ? This phase uses up a lot of my energy, so I've contracted. He popped exit. What is it, AJ?

Has Dar always been that small? No. No, Dar is normally like 12, 14 feet tall. Oh, okay. Okay. AJ, please put the log down. Okay, sorry. Do you make a strap for your log?

Yeah. It doesn't really work well. It's too long. No, it? Yeah. It doesn't really work well. It's too long. No, it doesn't. It doesn't really go. You gotta shorten that strap. You made a leash for your lock. You gotta also attach the other end of the strap.

Okay. All right. It's cute. It's like it's a pet. Dart, you know, I shouldn't ask this, but is that okay for the baby? Yes. For you to be squ okay for the baby? Yes. For you to be squished down like that? Yeah.

Plek, I know this might be difficult for you to comprehend, but when Dark Species enters their fourth Octomaster, this is a very common occurrence. Oh, okay. But then they later expand and become much larger. Oh, well, as long as you're... Yeah, so just you wait. Okay.

Wait, you get bigger than you normally are? Mm-hmm. Oh, well, as long as you're... Okay. Wait, you get bigger than you normally are? Mm-hmm. Oh, boy. Oh, all right. Hey, Nermit. Hello. Ah! It's me, the Emperor of the Galaxy, Nermit Bundeloy.

We should screen our calls. I said Nermit Bundeloy. I know, but calls. I said Nermit Bundaloy. I know, but... Why didn't you say Master Missions Operations Manager? I'm really just going to sit here and talk. Why didn't you say Emperor Nermit Bundaloy? Oh, do we recognize the validity of that title? No, fair enough.

No, that's true. Crew of the Bargerian Jade. Listen, we did not mean to pick that up. Hi there. It's me, the Emperor of the Galaxy. And I know what you're up to And you know, honestly, I'm like, look at that gumption Look at that get up and go

But if I had my way, I'd kill you all I'd just rip you apart Listen, Emperor Bundaloy We're after you We're on our way and we're gonna do whatever it takes to take you down He'll never find us, you won't see us coming Because we have freshness on our side. By answering this call, you've revealed your location.

What? How? That's not... I have location on. Bargy, you ought to be found less than any... Turn that off! You have to go into your menu. It's not a great UI. I've been trying and it just doesn't work, so I've just

been worrying about the code. Gargi, open settings. All right. And then scroll down to privacy. Okay, see, but here's the thing. It's not in privacy. It's in location service. Okay. You're right.

Yeah, no, you're right. You're wasting my time. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you're wasting your time. I'm so sorry. I have the receipts from the Bargerian Jade. I mean, like, do you want to see the screen? There's where you are.

Why, that's not me. Who's that? Who? No, my name is George. My name is George O'Keefe. What? We know that's one of your favorite aliases, Bargy. George O'Keefe.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that we were an anti-alias crew here. Gunther Ballweed. Never call me that. What? What's your name. Gunther Ballweed. Never call me that. Well, that's your name, isn't it? Gunther Ballweed is dead. Nermin Bundeloy rules the galaxy. Whoa, what's that voice you're doing?

I'm just trying a few things. I don't know if it works. It feels a little too... It's a little forced, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Anyway, listen. If you guys surrender, we can just forget all about this.

Emperor Bundeloy, we will not rest until you're taken out and supplanted by someone who is fresh. Okay. All right. I really hate that it's come to this. Because I have... If you look behind me...

Okay, can you pan? If you look here, I have... Is it a cameraman? Yeah, yeah. Elliot. Hey, Elliot. Hi. Hi.

We're two-headed. Yeah, it's a two-headed cameraman That's the best, they get both Great As you can see behind me, I have some of the finest assassins in the entire galaxy Oh You know some of those assassins, is that Peter Winfrey?

Hey, what's up? Yeah, I'm sure you've seen some of them but at my word, I will send them into the Vix Quadrant to hunt you down and destroy you. I don't want to do it. I don't want to be a bad guy. I'm a good, straight, pink Talorian. Why am I the bad guy in this situation?

It's hard for pink Talorians. A male pink Talorian. That's hard. We're going to go. I'm a victim in this situation. You're making me do this to you. I don't. That's not. We're going to go. I'm a victim in this situation. You're making me do this to you. I don't think that's okay. What do we do?

I thought it was just like, oh, I know you can turn it off. What do we do? I think it went okay. I think it went okay. What are you talking about? I think it went okay. He knows where we are. He's got we are. He's got bounty hunters everywhere. He didn't yell at us or anything.

He's not like that. Papa Dick's letter. I have an incoming transmission from Nermin Puntoy. Don't pick it. We can't pick it up. It's the other one. I'm sorry. I'm a little out of my head. Are you sure? Yes, yes. I'm positive. Okay. Hey, guys.

Sunny day on Philem. Just nesting, nesting, nesting, nesting, nesting. Nermit, Nermit. Nermit, Nermit. What? Whoa. No, AJ's right. You need to shut the jack up right now.

I'm in a good mood. We just got a call from Emperor Nermit Bundeloy. What? He knows where we are, and he's after us. What? That's... No. If he... It means we're dead? Yes. Obviously, Nermit. Wait, I just connected that you guys have the same name. AJ!

I just put that together. You guys have the same name. AJ, it's very important to your Zima training that you take your log by its leash and go do something with it. You got it, Papa Jackson. Alright, hold on. I'm just going to... Oh, stop. Better go get that. Sorry, you're such a cool size.

Nermit. Thank you, Nermit. Leave it. Okay, so we're going to scrap the mission that I was going to send you on, which was going to be pretty sweet, actually, because... Nermit!

Yeah, well, sorry. Shut up! Okay, the new mission is just go fast anywhere. Nermit's actually right. We should get out of here. Just find a place to blend in. Lie low, all right? Okay, thanks. Nermit's actually right. We shouldn't get out of here. Just find a place to blend in. Lie low. Yes.

All right? Okay, thanks, Nermit. Great advice. Bye. Bargy, listen. Run a scan. See if we can duck into any place and get, you know, somewhere off the grid. Okay.

And turn off your location. I can't turn off location. The only person who can turn it off is my son, Blippi. He has the passcode for it. No. What? Parchee! Good tidings,

sentient. Would you care for a coconut shrimp? No, I'm okay. Very well. I am Chiarondo, and in addition to my other vocations, I am clearly a highly skilled catering waiter. Serving up crudités, garfand with girt creme fraiche, the hottest of hot browns. Coconut shrimp. Coconut shrimp, exactly. You name it. And in a job like this, you always hear how important it is to have comfortable, supportive footwear. But remember, that also includes socks, friend.

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I do not know, my friend. They are wizards of sock manufacture. Plus they come in a dazzlingly fresh array of colors, patterns, lengths, and styles. My favorite is the space-dye, cushioneded no-show sock in Hunter Cream. What will be yours?

Maybe the same. Maybe. Well, you can find out by buying your Bombers today at bombers.com slash zix, where you will get 20% off your first purchase. And for every Bombers purchase you make, Bombers donates a pair to someone in need. What could be fresher than that? What could be less whack, friend?

That's bombas, B-O-M-B-A-S, dot com slash zix for 20% off. One more time. Bombas dot com slash zix. And can I tempt you one last time with a coconut shrimp? Yeah, and twist my arm. Of course you may, friend. Wow, C-53. This might actually be a good place to hide.

There's just people all species bustling around. Bebops and Zuzu. No, thanks. No, no, no. That's fine. Look at you, Penguin. You might want a Zuzu. Why would you say that? You might want a Zuzu. Why would you say that? You might want a Zuzu, a Bebop.

I'm sorry. I thought Bebops and Zuzas were candy. Hey, I can't be. Why are you so weird? You're very weird about it. Am I? You're not. No, I'm not.

We're not interested. All right, Mama. Hey, hey, hey. What? Hey, hey Hey hey hey Hey are you looking to sell some of those boxes Huh Are you interested

I know of a guy who wants boxes No no we're selling things inside the boxes We don't want to sell the boxes You know Dara it's actually a really good thing that you're this size. We don't stick out the way we normally do. I'm going to remind you that in my seventh Octomaster, I am going to be

so insanely big. You better not make me feel bad about it. Oh, I would never. I feel like there's a lot of shame around the seventh Octomaster, honestly. What? No, Dar. No, Dar. Absolutely not. You know, why don't we just duck in somewhere so we can put these boxes down for a little bit and figure out what we're going to do. All right.

Hello? Oh, hi. I'm sorry. Did we catch you at a bad moment? No. Sorry. No one ever comes in here. It's such a mess.

I'm so... Oh, my gosh. It's such a mess in here. It's such a mess. It's actually really mess. I'm so... Oh, my gosh. It's such a mess in here. It's such a mess. It's actually really cool. There's so much... Yeah, there really is a mess in here. It is.

Well, let me just push all this stuff out of the way. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hey. Hi there. Hey, listen. We're just here to browse.

We might just be looking around for another six, eight hours. Yeah, okay. Great, yeah. As long as you need. Don't mind us. We're just looking around. Don't bother us, guys.. Yeah, okay. Great, yeah. As long as you need. Don't mind us. We're just looking around. Don't bother us, guys. We're being secretive.

Hey, AJ, you should tie your log up outside. Oh, yeah, all right. Oh, don't turn it off. Oh, no. Careful. Oh, careful. Oh, careful. I'm out the door.

I'm sorry. Oh, boy. I'm so sorry. It's okay. It's just... It's fine. It's actually really good to have you all here. It's actually really good to have...

Well, hey, we're just happy to be here. My name is Fleck. My name's Fleck. Oh, Fleck. Yeah. Beautiful name. Thank you. Thank you.

My name is Norm. Norm, beautiful name. Thank you. My name is Norm. Norm, beautiful name. Thank you. My name is AJ. Oh, beautiful name. Tied that log up quick. I'm just your regular old C-series driver. Sure, yeah, you look

good. What's your name in case we need to kill you? AJ, relax. Did you say? No. So what's your name? Marv. Wow, Marv, you have a ton of stuff. This is pretty cool.

Thank you. You know, it's kind of like gifts, collectible items, things I've stolen off of travelers. What was that, though? Just gifts. Oh, okay. Collectibles.

Oh, yeah, that checks out. Yeah. A lot of broken glass at the moment. Yeah, so we're very sorry. It's fine. Can I give you guys a tour? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so fun. Okay, so obviously, like, when you walk in, we've got commemorative croons. Oh, yeah. We've got these paper sleevesons. Oh, yeah. We've got these paper sleeves for you to slip them into if you want to display them, put them on a fireplace. My mom would love this.

Oh, well, buy some for her. I don't get back to Ranga 6 very often. Okay, here we've got frisbees. Sure. You like frisbees? Oh, yeah. You like hacky sy sacks yeah now you're talking aj's language oh we've got watch it oh whoa is there a hack circle in here nice got room for two more where are these guys with sandals coming from you ready to hit this hat yeah all right bro let's do

this okay i'll be outside with these guys none None of you guys want to come out to the hack show? No, we're good. I'll show you guys how I'm kind of the best at it. All right. Let's go. This is happening a lot. You know, I don't get a lot of customers, but when I do, it's always the hack guys. Sure. As soon as the hacks come out, they flock.

Oh, yeah. Barge used to date one of these hacky sacks. Yeah. Marv, this is some pretty fun stuff. Yeah, what? You think that's fun? I've got a question for you. Yeah.

Do you like slime? Oh, do I? Do you like slime? Because I've got slime. I've got all sorts of slime. Wow. Galaxy slime. Oh, cool.

Feel that. Feel that. Oh, yeah. This is good. Yeah. This is slime that gets bigger the more you play with it. Oh, wow. Feel that. Oh, yeah. This is good. Yeah. This is slime that gets bigger the more you play with it. Oh, wow. So careful.

Careful. I should put this down. Uh-oh. It's already a little too big. Isn't that fun? I'm having a great time. That's great. You know, okay, I've got, you know those tubes?

Yeah. You guys know these tubes? Those tubes that when you tip them, they make a sound? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love these tubes? Those tubes that when you tip them, they make a sound? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love these tubes. Oh, I love that. I love the sound of that tube. Wow, that is a very distinctive sound.

I've got to say, I've got a thing for tubes. I've also got... It's still doing it. You know the plastic tubes also? A doing it. You know the plastic tubes also? A minute ago. Yeah, it does. It does that. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I just let the tube go.

Sure. It feels like someone's in the room. It's a very soothing noise, not obnoxious at all. No, I like that it sounds sort of like a sob. Yeah, it's a little bit like, why? I just can't get enough of that tube. Oh gosh, I love tubes. And then,

if you look over here, we've got these t-shirts with Florence on them. Oh yeah. Yeah, I love Florence. Yeah, sure. So I love that. Mark, how much are these Florence shirts? These are pretty fun. That's 20 croon apiece. That's pretty reasonable.

What do you want? In the smallest size, still 20 croon? Still 20 croon. And 20 croon in the largest size you have. Largest size is less. Largest size is 15 croon. Well, I'm going to take one of each. That's great. One for you, one for a friend. a friend no no um one for me now one for me uh three octomesters from now yeah oh wow congratulations

um thank you sorry did i overstep no i'm actually just uh getting used to it. I mean, I just started showing, so I guess now everybody will know. Got it. You know, one time I assumed, and I was wrong. Oh, that's awkward. Yeah. That's fine. I will never. Oh, there goes my tube again.

Yeah. Well, they got a long delay on them sometimes. Woo! I won! I nailed it! AJ, what happened? Look, in your first year. There's not a winner.

I just nailed it in hack, you guys. I just nailed it. But I was like, wait a minute. I shouldn't win too much because then the emperor will find us. All right, AJ. Anyway. It's just really good to have you guys here. What brings you to this market?

Just tourism. Just hanging out. Blending in. And offloading some collectibles. Do you buy stuff here as well? Maybe. Tell me, what kind of collectibles are we talking about? All your little feathers kind of stood up when you said that. Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Yeah, well, we do have some stuff if you'd like to take a look. I'll take a look. It depends on your interest in Hollywood. If you are interested in hollow stars of years past, one of the few things that interests you, these were the final bottles of orange beer consumed by Le Crane La Crosse. Oh, the Le Crane La Crosse? Oh, my gosh.

Okay, I'm just going to give you these bottles as sort of an apology for what we've done. Thank you. These are great. These are great. So, I mean, what else do you have? Because, like, I'll really, I'll take anything, and I won't pay for it. Uh, that's not ideal to be completely candid. Well, we're not being completely candid.

Okay, well, AJ. You're saying to be completely candid, and we're kind of giving you half the story. Okay, I'd like the whole story, I think. AJ. Come on, I've welcomed you into my shop. I've welcomed you into my shop. I've been very hospitable. Okay, you're right. I have half the story, and I want the other

half, because that makes a whole story. Let's just say we are trying to avoid any sort of imperial awareness of our presence, as it were. Aha. You're hiding. Yeah, well, yeah.

You made it pretty obvious that we were hiding. I said let's just say and then I pretty much told you the truth. You did say it. Right. You said it. Yeah. Well, you've come to the right place, I should think.

Really? Let's just say that we're standing above a pretty slick underground shelter that I might have spent years and years building. What? Hoarding, supplies. But you're just saying, yeah. But I'm just saying it. I mean, let's just say. But are you doing the same thing I did,

which is that you just said the truth after you said let's just say? Yeah. So do you guys want to see my underground shelter? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Somebody's coming in. Okay, follow me, follow me, follow me.

Come on, come on. Okay, okay. I just have to pull all these levers. Oh, wow. Yeah, I installed. This is very intricate. Yeah, hold on. Let me just do this.

Okay. Okay. And then I just do this. Welcome. Wow. Hold on, let me just do this. Welcome! Wow, there's even more stuff down here. Yeah. Marv, this basement is incredible. It's huge.

Yeah, I have a lot of stuff. This is like a decommissioned hangar. I can't believe how big this is. Thank you, thank you. Well, color me impressed. Okay. Marv, this stuff down here is incredible. It's nothing like the gift shop.

Oh, yeah, these aren't so much gifts as they are my private personal collection that I cherish very deeply. This is amazing. Wow. Yeah, oh, that's the jewel of Grog that you're holding. I was about to say, this has been missing for 50 years. Well, it's not missing because I have it. Wow. Yeah.

Cool. Um, I need to ask about this. Oh, yeah. This bean-shaped item here. Sure, yeah. I found that on a planet where everyone was gone. And that was all that was left. That's a giant

being and all the people are kind of rioting and tormenting around it. Yeah, I think it was like a deity. Wow. A rod. Sure. Something else, isn't it? I mean... You like it? Uh, I'm gonna just like it? Uh, yeah.

I'm gonna just set it right back down. So this is where I really spend most of my time, you know? Yeah, well, I don't blame you. Wow, I mean, look at this stuff. Yeah. Isn't it neat? Yeah, I mean, it looks like your collection's complete. I hope so. Marv.

Yeah? Is this stick over here, this branch? Yeah. Is this a Zima wood saber? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. I call it a dinglehopper. No, no.

This is a wood saber. This is an elegant weapon of the Zima warriors. Right. I just call it a dinglehopper because I saw it and thought, this looks like a dinglehopper. Okay, I guess that's as good a name as any. I kind of like dinglehopper because I saw it and thought, this looks like a dinglehopper. Okay, I guess that's as good a name as any. I kind of like dinglehopper better. Okay.

I found that in a wreck. In a wreck? Yeah, a wreck. You know, I was walking through the dunes. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I came across the wing of a ship sticking out of the sand. So I dug for about three months. Wow.

Mm-hmm. And then I found that. That's a for about three months. Wow. And then I found that. That's a long time to dig. Well, you know. You got those kind of shovel-y hands too. Your hands are sort of shovel-y. Yeah, I guess they are pretty shovel-y, huh? You can say it. My hands are shovels.

I don't know. You've got feathers and shovel hands. I don't know. It must make it really easy to look for stuff. Yeah, it is. I'm constantly digging around the dunes. Yeah. Oh, wow. You want to hold it? I mean, can I? You can.

I mean, anyone can hold it. It's just a stick. Well, C-53, I mean, C-series. The cover's blown. Okay. Yeah. Wait, we're not doing covers anymore? We aren't, AJ.

You can go back to being AJ now. Sounds good. It was hard to keep that up. Not an actor. Wow. I can feel the space in this wood saber. Papa. Yeah, there's definitely a lot of space in that dinglehopper.

Like, look, when I, when I, like, swing it around, it's like, phew, phew, phew! Swing, swing, ping! Oh, it makes sounds, Papa Dexeter. Worf, where did you learn to do that? What do you mean? Where did you learn to wield a wood saber like that? I, I just,

I just, when I found it, I picked it up and I was like, swing! Cring, cring, swinging, shing, wah! Papa, that technique is... My rod. I've never seen anyone wield a wood saber like that. Nor have I. I didn't know that anyone could actually

wield a wood saber. That's sort of where I'm coming from. Well, first of all, let's just agree, I would wield one. You can wield it. Yeah, you wield it. Yeah. Okay, yeah.

Papa, go. It basically is sort of, yeah. Yeah. Ha. Wah. Yeah. Yeah, see? So weird.

That's not what she was doing at all. No, that's not. Just do what I'm doing. Like, look. Give it back to me. Okay. Like, okay, look. It's literally just like,

swing, swing, shah! See, there's like, when she does it, there it's literally just like, swing, swing, shah! See, there's like, when she does it, there's like trails of light coming out of the cinder. Okay. And there's a noise. Okay. Right? Yeah, do it with the noise.

Okay, but... Yeah, Papa, do it with the noise. Okay. Where's the tube from upstairs? Oh, I love that tube Okay, look, listen Sorry, I hope you don't mind I brought it down here with me I sort of don't go anywhere without my tube Yeah, you kind of got it back in your back pocket

You pull it out for emphasis every once in a while I certainly do C-53, I think it's... I feel like I've worked for almost a year now, and here's this scav who knows how to do everything. What do you matter for being good at this space? I wouldn't say mad. Jealous. He would say jealous. Papa, do you think that this space is only for pink DeLoreans?

No, no. Straight male pink DeLoreans? Papa, do you think that the space is only for pink Telerians? I... No. No. Straight male pink Telerians? No, there are plenty of... I mean, I'm learning the space, and I'm a pink male Telerian. Okay, yes. I'm a clone, but... Okay.

And that... And my bandoleau is a pink male Telerian. Okay, yes. I just feel like we haven't met a lot of space-y-male, non-tolerance, you know what I mean? Yeah, and we should, there should be more. There should be, everyone should be excited. Yes, I am excited, but I'm also a little bit sad at myself,

okay? Hey, what are you guys talking about? Nothing. Gender parody? Cool. It is sort of cool, actually. Yeah. This is a great day. It's a great day for me. No one ever comes down here.

I'm so happy. I'm the happiest I've ever been. Mr. Robot Man, can I have an aside with you? Are you talking to me? Mm-hmm. Okay, I'll take it. Mr. Robot Man, looks like there are a lot more Robot Men over there. What did you just say?

My name. There are robots over there. Oh, no, wait. C53. AJ's right. Look at all of those Metroid frames. Oh, my God. That's a huge collection of frames.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. My dad was really into them. Yeah. These men. There are dozens here. Yeah. You like?

You like? Is this a Ted Rocker signature C-series frame? It sure is. With a holographic Ted Bronca signature? That's Ted Bronca's signature right there. Whoa. Whoa. C-53, who is Ted Bronca?

Who is Ted Bronca? Well, let me just press the signature. Hi, I'm Ted Bronca, owner of the Ronca Cybernetics Corporation, and this here is one of my signature C-Series frames. These are so red. These are like one of a kind. They certainly are, and they're all mine. Whoa, the white falcon. C-23, I've never seen you geek out like this before.

I'm sorry, this is... I've never seen a collection that even has half this many. Yet you've got everything. You've got the do-and-get. You've got the Tennessee Rose. The Country Gentleman. Yeah. Wait. What's that one...

You've got, like, a sheet over it? Oh, oh, you don't want that frame. What is it? Well, they call that the midnight shadow. What? Yeah. Wait, that doesn't make sense. What do you mean?

It's just a marketing term. But I'm saying, like, if it's midnight, you don't have a shadow, right? I'm sorry, could I borrow this tube from you really quick? Yeah, go for it. All right, now go get it! Yay! Anyway, that's the midnight shadow.

I mean, I only heard that whispered about. Well, it's real. There's only one, and I've got it. It can't be traced. It's not street legal. It's street illegal. It's like looking into a black mirror.

Yeah. This is one heck of a frame. Hey, you wanna, um, try it out? Oh, I don't wanna. I'm gonna scratch it if I could possibly. Are you sure? I like you guys. it if I could possibly. Are you sure? I like you guys. I don't know why, but I just get this good vibe.

I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my entire life than to try on this frame. Try it on. Okay. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Careful. Okay. All right. Wow, all right, uh... Wow, I don't even know where the cube slot is on this frame.

Oh, oh yeah, it's right here. Oh, okay. And in you go. Whoa. Oh, this is sick. Why, what's different? Uh, oh, nothing except for this. Oh, where did he go? He's different? Uh, oh, nothing except for this. Uh, where did he go?

He's behind you. Oh, wow. Stealth mode! Like a midnight shadow! Yeah, I mean, I think it makes less sense than it did, but okay, I'm on board. Untraceable, like a midnight shadow. I still don't... It makes perfect sense.

Okay. Wow. This is amazing. I mean, just to be in here for a minute. This was amazing. Mark. Thank you. Hey, guys.

You know, I went upstairs because I had a tube. I kind of was batting the tube between my hands, and I kind of fell upstairs. But anyway. Your pupils are so big. It's fine. Point is, there's somebody up in the store. What?

Yeah, there's somebody up in the store, but the thing is, it sort of looks exactly like one of those assassins that... What do you mean it looks exactly like an assassin? Oh, I'm saying, you remember how we saw that video and there were all the assassins in the background? Yes, yes. I think it's one of those. So we're running from the emperor and there are all these assassins that are trying to kill us. And I think one of them's in your store.

Oh, got it. Sorry. Everybody get behind me. Hey, hey, I'm a little assassin. That assassin's really small. I should have said it was a really small assassin. I'm sorry. I'm a tiny little assassin. I used to be a little criminal, but now

I have a job and I have benefits. Go for it, Papa. Come at me. I'm a tiny little knight. Don't worry. I've got this. Let me take him on. Yes, throw me my dinglehopper. It's not, that's not what it's... I call it a

dinglehopper. Okay, fine. I think it looks like a dinglehopper. Okay. It does resemble a dinglehopper. It's not, that's not what it's... I call it a dinglehopper. Okay, fine. I think it looks like a dinglehopper. Okay. It does resemble a dinglehopper. What does that... Right? Fine. It does.

Come at me, tiny assassin. Bradley. Don't you ever mess with my friends. Wow. Wow. Wow. Pew, pew, pew, pew! How is that possible? I don't know.

It just comes to me naturally. Marv. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna leave now. Okay. Goodbye. Yeah, sometimes when I fight through the space, it's like I don't actually defeat them.

I just kind of discourage them from fighting. Wow. I mean, that's the Zima code. You act only in self-defense. Marf, listen. You're unbelievably talented in the space. Thank you. You have a gift. Thank you. I can see it. So much more than Papa Dexter. Yes, listen. You're unbelievably talented in this space. Thank you. You have a gift.

Thank you. I can see it. So much more than Papa Dexter. Yes, yes, okay? Yes, we are all in agreement on that. Yes, we all agree, AJ. Yes, honestly. Marf, maybe we can help each other.

You could come with us. What? We'll take down the Emperor. You can teach me your ways. I'll train you. I can show you the ancient scrolls of the Zemanites. Yes. Yes. I mean, I probably understand most of that intuitively, but

sure. Okay, sure, but there's definitely technicalities. I'll look at your scrolls. Sure, yeah. Yes. I get to go off with my best friends? Marv, now that the assassin is out of the way, we probably have a very small amount of time. Let's get back up to the surface. We'll get on

barging. We'll get on our way. Okay, great. Let me just grab my stuff. Yeah, absolutely. Alright, just some clothes. I'm just going to throw them in this bag. And a toothbrush. And the gem of Grog. Sure, yeah. And all my tubes.

Okay. Okay. A sword of Orzard. Could be useful, sure. Are they all these C-frames? Oh, yeah. No, we can't. We're going to take all of this metal junk.

No, I don't know. Oh, so they're all these guys. All right. Listen, Marf. I should probably take this. No, Marf, I got to stop you right there. It's going to take us days to get all this stuff onto Bargy. Yeah, I mean, this room is three or four times the size of Bargy.

We can't fit everything on her. But I... But I have to take my stuff. Yeah, but can we just take some of it and can you lock the door and just come back for it later?

No, no. It'll all be taken. I mean, I've worked my entire life collecting this stuff. I... I am my stuff. There's skies all over this planet. It wouldn't last a minute if she left. I am my stuff. There's Skye's all over this planet.

It wouldn't last a minute if she left. My stuff is me. Listen, Marv, we can't bring this stuff. I don't know what to tell you. Then I guess I have to stay here. Yeah, I guess so. Okay, AJ, just relax for a second. I mean, that's what's going to happen, I guess so. Okay, AJ, just relax for a second. I mean, that's what's

gonna happen, right? He is stupid, but he's right about this. Marv? Oh, no. Marv? Oh, no. Oh, what? It can?

Oh, no. Everybody's doing it. I'm going to do it, too. I'm the best at crying. Marv, I... I'll never forget any of you. Hey, wait. That frame?

Keep it. What? The Midnight Shadow? Keep the Midnight Shadow. It might be untraceable, but I can trace it. And this way, I'll always know where you are. And you, Plek. Yes? Take this Dinglehopper.

No, I couldn't possibly. You have to. Take it. Okay. It's yours. Okay, okay. Thank you. The dinglehopper is yours.

Okay, yeah. I might not end up calling it that in the long... You have to call it a dinglehopper or you will be shitting on my memory. Okay. You're still going to be alive, though, so. AJ. I want you to keep this tube. What?

This tube was passed down to me. Oh, you really shouldn't do that. Yeah, please. Oh, my God, yes. This tube is an antique. It was passed down to me from my great-great-grandmother. This was her tube. Please do not give AJ a tube.

Look at this. It's so loud! Oh, this rules! Sounds just like she did. Oh, right. I will never get tired of doing this. Yeah! Woo!

And you, Dar. Uh-huh? You can keep those t-shirts for free. You don't have to pay. That's actually very generous of you. Thank you so much. That's so sweet. I can't believe you do something so nice. This is so sweet.

There it is. There's the tears. The tears are normal size. Giant tears on a tiny dog. I love their tears. Super dancing. We should go. We should go.

Be safe, my friends. Marv, keep it fresh, always. I will. Goodbye, always. I will. Goodbye, everyone. My friends are leaving. My best friends are leaving. Wandering free. Wish I could be.

All these things for sale? so you guys sold the box everything gone, I'm so excited okay, how much did you make out of it, huh? I estimated it's gotta be at least 400,000 something, because they were very valuable did you know I of it, huh? I estimated it's got to be at least 400,000 croons. Some things in there were very valuable. Did you ever have like a tiny morsel of Jojo Bajo's hair in there? What part of his body?

I'm never going to tell. But you probably figured it out from the text. Juba care, right? Listen. Juba care? AJ. He's not wrong. Where is it?

Where's the money? Okay, listen, Bargy. Bargy, look. We may not have gotten croon, but I think we've got something today that was more valuable. Oh, but if you're going to say friendship, I... There's two. Oh, oh, oh.

All right, that's pretty cool. See you next time. This is SeaRed IT5, credits and attributions to our commencing outro protocol. Papa Plec Dexeter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bend. Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship, the Tube, and the Tiny Assassin were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Master Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind.

AJ was played by Winston Null. Marv was played by special guest Rachel Winitsky. Rachel is a writer and actor at NYC. She's been on shows like The Good Fight and Elementary, is a former editor at Reductress, and was a guest writer last season on Saturday Night Live. She's half of the comedy folk duo Friends Who Folk. Follow her on Twitter at Rachel Winitsky. This episode was edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Robert Ducky Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York. Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAME's Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. The Greatest Generation is a Star Trek podcast

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Pokemon? Yes. Nice. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience audience supported Never forget me We never will We recorded this whole thing so we can't Oh good Yeah I can send you the tape of this

Yeah you should release it as like Wait what do you have for me Get out of here Swing I thought it was part of the game Okay fine If I leave I know what I'm not wanting