Mission To Zyxx - 402: The Snuff That Screams Are Made Of [ft. David Bluvband]

Episode Date: February 26, 2020

Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut BundaloyWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as BargieWith special guest David Bluvband as the Saints VornakianRecording, sound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellEdited by Seth LindMusic composed by Brendan RyanOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric GeuszAudio hosting by SimplecastThis episode sponsored by ShudderMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network 

It is a time of chaos. Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course, the colossal Orwht, which looks like some sort of black hole sun. Now Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Black? Yeah, what is it? How are you doing?

Me? I'm doing great. Yeah? Yeah. I really took your advice to heart the other day, C-53. You said I shouldn't be wearing these shorts. Lost them. Got rid of them. Sorry, what I'm talking about is you've got to put something on. Well, the robe doesn't really tie anymore.

I would say from 80% of the angles, I'm talking about is you gotta put something on. Well, the robe doesn't really tie anymore. Yeah. I would say from 80% of the angles, I'm good. Right? Yes, the 20% that I'm concerned about. Okay, all right. It's okay to live by my own rules for a while. Oh, is this the intervention? Uh, yeah.

Hey, what? Hey, you black? Yeah, yeah, what is it? Uh, put on some pants. Yeah, Papa, you look like you've given up in a big way. AJ, you are constantly taking off your armor and you're completely... But I look like this! Oh, that's a good point. You have the body of a chiseled marble rod.

Also, importantly, he puts the armor back on. Yeah, okay. Just get some pants. Isn't it crazy for me to ask you to do that? You know what? I'm going to defer to the captain, who famously likes nakedness. So, captain. One second.

I have now moved. Okay, Corset is down for a nap. Hey, Plek? Yeah. Darling? Yeah, what is it? Your pants, where are they? The thing is...

Make them put on pants, Captain Dark. Make them put on pants. I have pants. I have pants for some of the old stars used to hang out. All right, drop in the box of pants. Whoa, that's a lot. Bargy, these don't even have the same number of legs as a tellurian. Papa, don't make me do this.

AJ, what are you doing? Put the pants on. AJ. Put them on. Okay, fine, I'm putting them on. No, not those. Yeah. What?

These are cool. These sort of look like athletic leggings. Those do nothing for your figure. Oh, Papa, they don't cut a line at all. This is starting to freak me out because Papa's giving up. Dar's uptight. Bargy's not an actress. I'm freaking out, man. AJ, you know, it's important to kind of mix it up every once in a while. That way, you know, nobody gets bored of what we're doing. What, are we just going to add another crew member or in a while. That way, you know, nobody gets bored of what we're doing. What, are we just going to add another crew member or something like that? I mean, we may, maybe at some point, you know, every once in a while.

Open up my hatch for me. Oh no, Fargey. I think we got one in here. All right, closing my head. Oh boy. Things are different and I don't like it. AJ, you might just have to get used to it. Yeah, AJ, things change, you know? Captain Dar, I have an incoming transmission

from Temporary Emergency and the Serial Negotiations Missions Operations Manager. Sorry, guys, I meant to call earlier. I just thought I was running late. I had to, um, I was at Dale's memorial. So, um... Oh, right, Dale.

Everyone seems pretty drunk at the moment. They asked me to speak at it it was awkward hey you remember when you cheered when i shot him and you're like you got him right between the eyes i know but at that point we thought it was like a murderous beast not a beloved denizen of the planet right with the family come on yeah Oh, well. How's the office life, Nermit? Oh, I mean, it's really solid. Look at these ceilings, like this perfect, shiny, curved ice. Everything's so smooth and reflective. I can check my look.

You're sort of, like, back in your element. Right? This is, like, familiar to you. Yeah, yeah. Why? Nothing. just feels good AJ is struggling with the salons Oh, jeez, wow

It's a big transition time for him It's a little difficult His gun has been in and out of his butt several times already today, so I think his butt is just a little tired Well, you know what I got for you guys? What's that? A mission.

Alright! Yeah! Yeah, here's the deal. Thank Rod we were able to send that message out from the tower on that planet full of mutants because we got a response. We got a response? Yes! We got a response to Sisu's announcement

that she's going to unify the galaxy within the void of power left after the Emperor became the Alweed. And here's the thing. The first message back came from the Zyxdishnian Quartile. The Zyxdishnian Quartile? The Zyxdishnian Quartile. How old is this person? Yes, exactly. That is what the Six Squadron used to be called during the monarchy. The address came from Castle Vornakian.

Oh. Castle. These are rich, rich, rich former monarchy who want to support Sisu's mission. We're going to go here and get critical support. Great. Speaking of critical, from a development standpoint, I just want to say that

this is real hot right now. Oh, real? Monarchy scripts are getting greenlit? Yep. You're talking about the show The Croon. The Croon.

Oh, so good. But it's about how the monarchy formed the Croon currency system. Yep. Wow. Captain Dar, permission to be excited about this mission? Yeah, AJ.

Everyone cover your ears. Feel it at full force. Woo! Let's do this! Mission time! Just got permission to be excited! Captain Dar, do you want me to come along on the mission or should I stay on the old ship? Just a quick aside,

Black. Don't worry. We're not talking about you. Okay. I really think I need Plek on this mission. Really? For reasons that are specific to me. Okay. One small request.

If he comes, he how to reinforce the pants what if we do something like reverse psychology where we like reverse our gun and point it at him and be like do it why not if you're still doing the aside I just want to say please please take them.

Gather, devout Olwesians. It is I, Cleric Tooth-a-Pew-Pew. The days grow ever near when we will be gloriously consumed by the cleansing power of the Olwete. Yes, yes. The Olwete shall open its fiery gates, unlocking our perfect oblivion. But until then, life is kind of boring and we still have to do our lame jobs and stuff as we await our horrific salvation.

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Stroop your mortal bodies bare and join me in our daily shrieking Shudder.com Now, great owl with Yeah, mission two. Gonna be fine. Great, great, great, great. All good. No worries.

Hey, Captain. You're not gonna have, like, a meltdown like last time, right? We had all those mutants coming at us, and you freaked out. Nope. You can't say that I'm planning on another meltdown, no. Oh, that's... Holy crorp. This castle is no joke. C-53, is this the only structure on the planet?

No, but it is 40% of the planet's surface. Wow. Yeah, the monarchy was... The wealth inequality was significant. Wow, there's so many peasants. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, okay. AJ, don't kick...

AJ, you can't kick someone just because they're a peasant. Plek, respectfully, as captain, I'll be the one to tell AJ what he can and cannot do. You're right. Captain Dark, permission to kick these ratty peasants. These ratty peasants. AJ, don't kick the peasants. Oh. Yeah, good job, Dark.

Good greetings. Uh-huh. I see the peasant folk have bothered you most hastily. Separate. Separate. Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. There, there. Captain Dar. Yeah?

Do you think those boys are twins or clones? Honestly, at this point, I couldn't say. It's hard to tell. When you go to a new planet, you can't tell what the deal is. We are identical twins. Ah! I'm Dean, and I'm Petey.

Hey, does anyone notice that their mouths aren't moving and I can hear them in my head? Uh, yeah, yeah. So we just agree. They're, like, weird, right? Is that what we're trying to say? Guys, I think we established these as sides they can hear Yeah

Right Yeah Hi Hi Sorry So you're Dean and Petey, huh? Yeah Petey and I come from a long line of Vernacian telepaths

Dean and Petey? Yes How old are you? Two Okay, that's fine Long line of Vernacian telepaths. Dean and Pete. Yes? How old are you? Two. Okay, that's fine. I think I see what's happening. The planet Vernacian actually orbits its star once every 12 years. So, in Italian terms, they're 24.

Yeah, yeah. Please follow us inside Castle Vernacian. Yes, yes. Wow, this place is incredible. Yeah, indeed. You've got a lot of portraits down of your family. Yeah, look at all these. Oh, yes, it's every Vernacchian in history,

ever since Saint Vernacchian I. Saint Vernacchian I? I mean, he was one of the first advisors to the monarch. That's right, that's right. Well, St. Vernacian, at first, I mean, he was one of the first advisors to the monarch. That's right. That's right. The only person who knew the monarch's true identity was St. Vernacian.

Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. They would have seen him. You know, everyone tried to assassinate him all the time, so they kept it a secret. Wait, wait, hold on. There was a monarchy. AJ. What?

There was the Federated Alliance. Ah, yes. Uh-huh. There was a rebellion. Sure. There was the Federated Alliance. Ah, yes. There was the Rebellion. Sure. There was the Empire. There's a monarchy? Before the Federated Alliance. When you became a Clint.

Yeah. That was during the monarchy. Huh. I think I must have gotten mind wiped. I just don't think you were paying attention. Yeah, I think it's more likely you didn't know who you were working for. Yeah, AJ, what do you feel when you see this seal? Oh, well, I'm bowing, so...

There you go. Oh, yeah. Wow, down on the ground in under three seconds. Oh, yeah, well, whenever I see that seal, I automatically think get down on the ground. Oh, is that where that comes from? What? Look at the seal? Get down on the ground. Oh. Is that where that comes from? What? Look at the seal? Get down on the ground.

Oh, wow. Okay. There it is. Okay. Yeah. What are you guys trying to connect? I don't. Don't worry.

You're pretty. Yeah. Don't worry too much. Hey, Dean. There seem to be a lot of like, guys, watch me do a little diplomacy. It seems like you have a little bit of like fancy people, but you also have like really poor people who look really hungry. So what's that about?

Is that your fault or what? Oh, wow. Who taught AJ what diplomacy was? I heard it. Yes, Petey and I are rich as junk. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, yeah. No, we can tell that just from this entry hall.

Yeah, look at this crazy hot chandelier. Oh, wow. There's an entire crystalline replica of the castle in the chandelier. Oh, yeah. Wow. I'd say it's beautiful, but it hurts to look at. Yeah. And we added a strobe effect.

No way. Oh, man. Okay. No more. Oh, man. Wait till I tell Bargy about this. She's going to be so pissed because the croon is not like this at all. Yeah, they might take some creative license.

Have you ever heard of the show The Croon? We love The Croon. Really? We love The Croon so much. We've seen every episode of The Croon. Is it accurate to what the monarchy was like? Oh, we don't know. Yeah, it looks cool.

It's about you guys, though, right? On some level. Everyone's hot in it. Yeah. Hmm, okay. All right. Your Royal Highnesses, Your guys, though, right on some level. Everyone's hot in it, and yeah. Hmm, okay, all right. Your Royal Highnesses, Your Royal Highnesses, time for you to blow diamond kisses. Oh, okay.

Open your mouth, Petey. They're spitting diamonds at each other. Now open your mouth, Dean. Wow. I don't get it. Now open your mouth, Petey. Pretty gross. I wish I had a brother. Now open your mouth, Petey. Pretty gross. I wish I had a brother.

Now open your mouth, Dean. Hey, Jay, didn't he walk with like a thousand guys? Yeah, you should really relate to this. Work friends? That's exactly the same situation you were genetically attracted to. I don't know. Look at them kissing diamonds back at one another. Everything here is very fancy.

Yes. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Bark, a bark. Ah. A bark, a bark. Ah, woof creature, blessed be.

And may we lick the face? Captain Dar, it's really funny they call dogs wolf creatures here. Also, hilarious that it's a wolf creature, but it makes a bark noise. Yeah, also, I don't know if you could call it a dog. It seems awfully fancy. That's true. Ah, yes. Yes, wolf creature, it is time for your samba classes.

Yes. Bark, bark. Wolf creature must go to their dancing classes so they can stay fit. As the owner of a pair of athletic leggings, I would just like to say that I appreciate fitness as well. Wow, okay, Boomer. Wow. He has a red flag. What does that mean?

The Boomerians are notoriously afterspicious. Get out of here. We don't want to talk to you right now. Hey, can we talk to the coolest people on the ship, please? Oh, you're definitely not talking to me. That's what you're looking for. Can you go to the corner or something? I mean, sure, yeah, okay, all right.

Oh, wow. You hurt, we're so sorry. You guys need to know, we will be embarrassed if you guys keep acting like him, okay? Oh, no, we don't. Oh, we don't act like Plek. In fact, we really brought him down here as a favor. Okay.

He was just sort of very depressed. Eh? Thought it might help if he got out of the ship. You know how that is. Yeah. Oh, all right. That's fine. That's fine.

Hey, Papa. Hey, Papa. Hey, Papa. Yeah? How does it feel to be back in the field? I mean, it's good. I've sort of been asked to hang back, so it feels a little worse, I would say. We're all a crew. I'm the captain.

I'm Captain... Oh, I mean, I wasn't going to ask names. Because I already knew them. Right. You're Captain Dar. Uh-huh. And you're Plek Dexeter. Oh, yeah.

No, no, no, don't talk. Okay. And you, you're AJ. That's right, yeah. Yeah. And the computer who's... Ow. Well, you caught me.

Wow, okay. I can't read computers. It's still amazing you can transmit to a cube. We have great surround sound telepathy on this planet. Hey, Mr. Robotman, they're calling you a computer. That's a monarchy, Arcee. I couldn't really make the distinction between AIs. I'm drawing.

So they just call them computers. It's all bleep bloops to me. We believe in the finer things in life, not tech. We believe in the opera and... Snuff? Snuff? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm taking myself out of exile here for a second.

Did you say you used snuff? Yeah. Yes. Why are you out of the corner? I was just admonished for being old, use snuff? Yeah. Yes. Why are you out of the corner? I was just admonished for being old, but snuff, I mean, that's like a 500-year-old. Oh, wait, you guys don't do snuff? I mean, no. Everyone does it here on this planet.

So I can't do snuff? May I offer the coolest people in the room water that hurts the roof of your mouth when you drink it? I'm okay. No, no, all the cool people will have it. Captain's decision. Alright. Captain's decision. I don't want to lose their trust.

Alright, everyone with Plek, get your snuff ready. Oh, we're doing snuff too? Yes, everyone, there's a line in front of you. We're all going to do a line of snuff ready. Oh, we're doing snuff, too. Oh, yes, everyone. There's a line in front of you. Yeah, we're all going to do a line of snuff. We all have to be cool. This snuff and water is really going to jerk me up.

It's a lot of fun particulates. I really shouldn't do this. Well, listen, this is a captain's decision that we want Petey and Dean to trust us. So we are going to do drugs and drink water that has too much carbonation in it. Can I get an aye-aye? Aye-aye. Everyone roll up your croons and let's do this.

Oh, wow. They party hard. They are the coolest. Oh, boy. I didn't do it accurately. Oh, boy. I didn't do it accurate. Oh, okay. No water.

Are you supposed to be smoking? Oh, no. Oh, no. Somebody put that out. Somebody put that out. Hi, Mrs. Viva. Put it out. Steve53, are you okay?

Oh, no. The midnight shadow frame does not like snuff, and it really does not like water. Put more water on it! Put more water on it! No, no, don't put more water on it! Oh dear. Oh dear. Hot water on the computer!

Yes, hot water. Oh dear. Hot water. Please don't. Hot water on the computer! Oh no! Oh no. Oh no.

Okay, I'm just going to remove C's cube. Oh, no. Your technology-enhanced friend has been decommissioned. I can give him another frame to encapsulate if you'd prefer. I mean, I don't... That would be hella chill. That would be so, so, so, so cool. So cool. So very, very cool. Hell yeah, nice. I mean, I don't... That would be hella chill. That would be so, so, so, so cool. So cool.

So very, very cool. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, Knight. Hell yeah, Rook. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, Knight. Hell yeah, Rook. Let's get that frame for my friend here.

Oh, yeah, sure. So, we have this old silver chassis from a vampire. Wow, it's very intricate. Are you sure this is going to work as a droid frame? I mean, it sort of looks like a coffin. Yes, it's more of an iron maiden. My great-grandfather Saint Vernacian

developed this chassis as a bloodletting device when he was bit by a vampiric queen and needed to bloodlet constantly. So. It is a, so let me, let me further describe it.

It is, it is a, it is a former Iron Maiden that your cube-shaped friend can fit inside. But they'll be pierced constantly. Well, I guess the option right now is no frame or frame. And Captain's decision, it goes to the frame. But I'll be pierced constantly. Well, I guess the option right now is no frame or frame. And Captain's decision, it goes to the frame. But I'll block. Now crank the spikes. Oh, there's more going into the cube. Wait, the cube is being hit by the spikes?

Oh, yes. What is this? I can see through you, okay? You have every movement. What is this? C53, are you okay? No. Every movement is... I got screaming against the exterior of my cube. This is how great-grandfather wanted it. This is the living hell.

Why would a cube slot be in a torture device? You know, it was just a standard unit of measurement for a while. It was very easy to retrofit them. Oh, wow. Okay. This frame isn't a plate. I'm sorry, C-53. Your Majesty, what about this frame here? It's all, like, spooky and ancient.

Oh, yes, this is Saint Vernacian. That sort of looks like a corpse. Can we just put the cube in that? No, no. If anyone from not this planet touches this, they will be doxxed beyond belief. They will be canceled. Ah, hell yeah, Russ.

Hell yeah, Knight. What does doxxed mean? It's like, drag somebody down to the doxxed and haul them underwater until they're next. Oh, that makes sense. It'll be canceled. That means it's a capital offense. Oh. And they'll be canceled to death.

Your life is canceled. Yes. Okay. Yes. Right, right, right. Hey, AJ, quick aside. Yeah, you got it. Yes.

I feel like I'm really feeling the snuff, and you feel so normal. Your face feels so normal still. Why are you still so okay? Because my body metabolizes things quicker. I'm not actually altered by many chemicals. Wow, same, man. Oh, so I'm the only one feeling it right now?

You're a god that rejects things. Hey, chat, request a side with Plek. Uh, yeah. Hey, Papa. What's up? Um, so, C's kind of getting tortured right now, and Dara's, like, on snuff. I think we just gotta take C-3D's cube out of that torture device and just figure it out.

Plek, you wouldn't make this! The other thing I'm having trouble with is determining what is weird and what is fancy. Oh. Hey, Dean. Yeah, Petey? Hoist me up to the chandelier. Oh. Oh, boy. What do you think, AJ? Fancy or weird? I mean, both, I think, right? Yeah, we're in the overlap of the Venn diagram.

Please take me out of this. We were so busy having a chill time, we forgot to ask, why are you guys here? This telepathy might not be quite as strong as we originally anticipated. Oh, hell yeah, Rook. Hell yeah. All right. Hell yeah, Pon. Hell yeah, Rook. Hell yeah. All right. Hell yeah, Pawn. So my super chill, super cool friends and I are here.

We've been like, we've all been getting along, right? God, don't slap my back, please. Yeah, see? Hell yeah, Bishop. So we were just all here hanging, all here, so cool, so cool, so cool. And we want your money. We want crew. We're here for crew.

Could you help me here? Yes, absolutely. Pet the Fleck. Petting Fleck. Listen, what our captain is trying to say is this. Listen, I'm sorry. You keep swinging in circles on the chandelier, and it's hard for me to... I'm just an old, dumb piece of shit's hard for me to... That's plush. I'm just an old dumb piece of shit.

Okay. Agreed. Petting plush. I'm just an old dumb piece of shit here to tell you, Dean. What did I just say? I thought you were... You just said... Papa, keep up.

When you don't move your mouth, it's hard for me to tell which of you is talking at any given time. I was like, that was maybe a better job. What? Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Tullurian. Okay, all right, Dar. My head is petted out, I think, at this point. You're right. I think it's time for you to pet my head.

Okay, okay, sure. Listen, Dean and Petey, we came here because we were summoned because you saw a transmission we made from Sisu Gundu. That's right. So you guys are the envoy from Sisu Gundu. Hell yeah, Bishop. Yeah. Yeah, give me an L-shape, Knight.

Yeah. Gotcha. Yep, yep. King me. What are you doing, man? You're, like, really blowing it. You are not cool at all. You're no chess piece.

You're none of the pieces. What? No deal. Please leave. Okay, you know what? Peace of your hairstyle. Get out of here. All right.

Whoa. Oh, my rod. Papa's depressed. Dar's on drugs. Steve's in a torture chamber. I'm the only one left. Give us your money. Oh, my God.

We've never seen one of those. Put them in the bag. Such an advanced technology. AJ. AJ. Oh, you guys are doing better? You guys are chucking it all up. Oh, my freaking rod.

Yeah. No, I've got a blaster on you. This is my kind of diplomacy. AJ, this is not necessary. Listen, everybody's falling apart. AJ, this is what I do. All right, I'll give a blaster on you. This is my kind of diplomacy. AJ, this is not enough. Listen, everybody's falling apart. This is what I do. All right, I'll give you 500,000. 500,000, Groon.

Okay. Is that okay? Okay, thank you. 500,000, Groon. Okay, I'll give you 5 billion. Yeah, okay. Is that okay? That was a one big jump.

That was like one number, and then it was a much bigger number. Great negotiating, Papa. I'm so scared. Good, thank you. I'll do whatever you want. All right. No, Petey, Petey, Dean, you don't have to do this. We accept.

Captain just accepted. Get the crew. Get it now. Dean, Petey, we're not trying to rob you. Awesome. You're doing a really great job of robbing them. You literally pulled guns out of your butt. Okay, one of us did that.

We're so privileged. We've never faced anything this difficult or hard before. Oh, no, I'm so scared. I've never been this scared. Please, please, take whatever you want. A park. A park. Oh, take, take wolf creature.

No, no, no. We can't do that. We do not want the wolf creatures. No. We can't do that. We do not want the wolf creature. We're taking this. We're taking St. Vernacian. We're not taking some weird curse frame. We can't take St. Vernacian. He was petrified by the vampiric queen that seduced him.

There's no way I'm putting my team in that stand. It's fine. There's no way I'm putting my team in that stand. It's fine. It's cool. AJ, Petey and Dean told us that's literally their great-grandfather's corpse. It's the husk of my great-grandfather. It's the husk. It just happens to be cube-shaped. Wow.

Also, it's the one that if you touch it, you get doxxed and canceled. Okay, okay, so we're not taking that, but we're taking the money. Well, thank you for diplomacy-ing with us. That's not a word. Please don't kill us. All right, we won't, and that is how you do protocol. Okay, listen. Let's get going.

Please don't tell my parents. You have parents? Yeah, we have parents, but they're away. They left us a place for the weekend. They're on the Cape. Oh, no. The Cape of St. Vernacian. Oh, yeah.

Okay, that checks out. Yes, the other side of the planet. Do you want to get out of the torture box? Please. Okay. Wait, before you guys go, just, could you, like, refill some of the liquor bottles with, like, just make it look like you didn't take all of it.

Like, do hell with the water. I don't know. You've got to learn some consequences. No! They trusted us! They trusted us! Listen, Nermin, I don't feel good about how we came by this money. What do you mean? I've never seen this many zeros on the right side of the decimal point. Or left side, the good side.

Yeah, zero on the right side has no value. Great job! This is an unadulterated win! Yeah, I mean, listen, it was a win, but I just can't shake the feeling we took advantage of a couple of children. Listen! Plek, it's worth remembering those were 24-year-old adults. That's true.

Also, Plek, if it makes you feel any better, during the modern era, the Vernacians obtained almost their entire fortune through sticking up on their families. What, are you serious? Yeah. Man. Yeah, very, very weird. I think it's fancy.

A real wolf creature-y kind of time. I still feel a little guilty about robbing a gunpoint. Hey, hey, I know I don't do the missions, okay? But I just gotta say, I agree with Clek. Oh, thank you, Bargy. I agree with Clek that much money and you don't give me any of it? Bargy! You can listen to how my wing is sounding these days, by the way.

That's not a good sound. Fair. Hey, Barge? Yeah? Development, you, like, get stories, right? And you make them things? Yeah. What would you say about a story about two telepathic little boys

whose grandfather was a vampire and, like, was bit by a vampire queen and they're, like, super rich and they're, like, sexy and have parties and stuff? Yeah, that's on the new season of The Croon. Oh! I mean, I wish I could write that. Wow! That's a great story already done. Oh.

Thanks for lending me this letter, Troy. I don't know how long it's going to be until we get another frame. Sorry about the midnight shadow. No, no, Plek. You shouldn't be apologizing. You're not the captain. See, I'm sorry about the midnight shadow and that I wanted you to be cool.

Dark peer pressure is a powerful force. I'll miss the midnight shadow, but not as much as I will miss the torture chamber I was in. Sure, sure. I just wanted to apologize for doing diplomacy back there because... I don't think we call it diplomacy, actually. I'm just saying... Oh, good job. Oh, you brought one of those seals with you.

It's not like it would be good to have. Oh. Hey, Sisu. Ooh, we're getting the slow clap. Everyone, Sisu Gundu is here. Nermit. Yes. Are you all with the team?

Yes, I was just congratulating them on the incredible haul. I want to congratulate them in person. We were in mourning after the loss of Dale. I even thought about stopping my noble mission of reunification. Because if there are people so bad out there to kill

dearest Dale, why would I want to bring them together? But this gives me hope. You know? You are a team that did a great job. Thank you. Thank you very much, too. Okay, everybody, I have an announcement to make.

We have gathered every team's crew donations, and we have made over 5 billion crews. Yes. Well, we have a great captain. Aw, thanks, Flex. Now, because we're a team, I won't be naming names of who deserves the most credit. All right. You did good.

You did good. You did good. He's like specifically not pointing at me. You did really good. You up there. I see you. You did good. Not even anyone up there.

You did good. I wish we'd gotten a little credit, but that's okay. You did good. Oh, but that's okay. No way that table did as well as we did. This is SeaRatIT5. Credits and attributions joined commencing outro protocol. Plank Decksetter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Captain Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship was played by Mujan Zulfagari.

Teen Mom Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind. Petey and Dean St. Vernacken were played by special guest David Bluffband. David is best known for playing the human fish on The Chris Gethard Show and Virgil, the record store guy, on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. You can see him perform in New York every Saturday night with the UCB improv team, GOAT. This episode was edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Fames Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Opening call narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goitz. Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission to Ziggs is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we host Round Springfield. Round Springfield is a new Simpsons podcast that is Simpsons adjacent. In its topic, we talk to Simpsons writers, directors, voiceover actors, you name it, about non-Simpsons things that they've done because, surprise, they're all extremely talented.

Absolutely. For example, David X. Cohen worked on The Simpsons but then created a little show called Futurama. That's our very first episode. So tune in for stuff like that with Yardley Smith, with Tim Long, with different writers and voice actors. It's going to be so much fun. And we are every other week on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. If you like MaximumFun.org podcast, chances are you are an enthusiastic consumer of good media. Which is why we're here to tell you about the outlier show on MaximumFun.org.

The one that just doesn't fit. The Greatest Generation is a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. And that MaximumFun.org is probably a little bit embarrassed to call one of its shows. And that more than anything should inspire you to subscribe and download The Greatest Generation. What is this thing? Why is it here? Who listens? All of these

answers can be found if you subscribe to The Greatest Generation using your podcatcher or by going to MaximumFun.org MaximumFun.org. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

Audience supported. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, pimp. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, player. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, pimp. I love this. I love this, Cap.

What is player and pimp? What are these words? These are old monarchy words. Wait, no, you're dead. Part of their chess. You're right. Chess pieces. Their chess pieces.

Hell yeah, knight. Hell yeah, rook. Yeah, yeah, hell yeah, knight. Hell yeah, rook. Let's get that frame for my friend here. Oh, we have this old silver chassis from a vampire we killed. Wow, it's very intricate. Wait, how would a cube fit in that frame?

I don't know. It looks like a suit of armor. It's more of an Iron Maiden, but it was outfitted as a suit of armor when a Saint Vernacian was infected with a vampiric disease and needed to bloodlet constantly. Should we narrow down what it is? Let me further describe it. It is a former Iron Maiden that is a cube-shaped suit of armor that your friend can fit inside. But they'll be pierced constantly.