Mission To Zyxx - 403: The Floyda Project [ft. Clara Morris]

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

The crew is sent to rescue a ship from the brink of destruction. AJ meets an equal. Pleck gets a ramification. Bargie never pull focus.Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and PheenisesWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and PheenisesWith special guest Clara Morris as FloydaRecording, sound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellEdited by Seth LindMusic composed by Brendan Ryan, and recorded by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraAdditional recordings by listener Brian Gallion and the Chimes Street Brass Quintet from Baton Rouge, Louisiana:Matt Vangjel and Jena Vangjel on trumpet Lauren McKinney-Braud on French hornAustin Richardson on tromboneBrian Gallion on tuba Tucker Robison, audio engineerOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric GeuszAudio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network

It is a time of chaos. Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course the colossal Olt. Which looks like if the sun hated you. Now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. AC-53. Yes? How are you liking the new loader frame?

it's intimidating it's a little unwieldy compared to most C-series frames it's unwieldy until you need to lift something I will say, lifting stuff has been much easier than these arms oh, yeah yeah, I'm worried that

if we encounter any species that rely on, you know, a sign language basedbased communication form, I might be able to disadvantage. Those are not the most dexterous. Those are basically forklift arms. Yeah, they're not great for that purpose. But what if we go to a high-gravity planet where people can't lift stuff? If we go to a lift-based culture, I'm... Now we're talking.

Let's watch this. Oh, wow. That's all dead? That's nice. By the way, C-53, what did you end up doing with the midnight shadow frame? Well, most of it was totally on recognition. But there were some usable components left over, so I actually separated the still-functioning pieces and a little bit of an array of spare parts, which would be nice if we run into any trouble.

Any chance there's a functioning ocular sensor in the pile? I don't have memory, sirs. I think they're actually... Yes? Uh, listen, you have that pile of trash that you brought back on board? You're talking about the parts of the midnight tower? Oh, it just looked like trash to me. Well, I couldn't sleep because, you know,

I was just up all night thinking. And, you know, I got into a real crafting mood, and I made maybe Ho-Ha a little mobile out of all your trash. No, that's actually fine. Great. You can just stay there until they get bored of the mobile. Oh, Ho-Ha will get bored of the mobile?

Well, sure, all children eventually lose interest in certain toys. Okay. Maybe when I'm up all night looking at blogs about how to be a better captain, I should be looking at blogs about how to be a better parent. I don't know if you want to go into that world. Wait, Captain Dar, I know that you're balancing everything and trying to have it all, but I just had a quick question. Why haven't we heard Bargy? It's been like days. It has been an unusual length of time for Bargy to be silent.

Yeah, usually Bargy's all like, Hey, what are you doing? Why are you peeing on that? And I'm like, That's a really great Bargy, AJ. Bargy's more like this. I'm asleep. Like that, yeah.

Like a shut up plaque. No, no, no, no, no. If you really want to get a bargy, you gotta go deep into your pelvis and it's just like a I'm bargy. I feel like that's what I do it. I'm bargy.

No, no. I think if you're gonna do a bargy, it sounds sort of like this. Captain Dar, I have an incoming message from Paul Gibson. Ha ha, I'm bargy. Right Paul Gibbs of Schmitt. Ha ha, Bajie. Right? That's not fair. That's not fair. Why is it not fair?

It's very good. Ah, Bajie! AJ, where did you get that cigar from? AJ, we were sort of in the middle of a conversation. Papa, were you trying to get an eye out of C's body? No, I was just thinking, you know, if we have an extra...

Cleck, if you really want Baby Ho-Ha's favorite part of the mobile... No, it's fine. Keep it. Way to go, Cleck. Alright, you know what? Sorry, okay? I know I've been here, okay? And I've been listening to you all. Well, we know you've been here.

First of all, you do not sound like that, okay? No, it does not sound a thing like me. My voice is very smooth, delicate, and dainty. Okay? Like a flower blooming in the sun for the last time before it dies. Oh, yeah, actually, that's pretty accurate, Bargy. Yeah, that is good.

That's really good. I've been working on something called Not Trying to Take Focus. Uh. It's a book I've been downloading. I've never read it. No, you definitely have not. That's a book by Squeegee, right? Yep. Squeegee, rest his soul.

That was Squeegee's autobiography, right? Rest his soul. Never take focus. Squeegee? See, 53, Squeegee was the most famous sidekick of all time. Of the day who will not be named. Squeegee was Turk Manikin's sentient mop. Squeegee was the most famous sidekick of all time. Of the day who will not be named. Squeegee was Turk Manikin's sentient mop. Squeegee never pulled focus? You've never heard that before?

That sounds ridiculous. Anyway, in the book it says that sometimes having too much focus leads you to making a lot of life's mistakes. I'm working through a period which, Plek, I think you're related to. We're looking back at our failures And why we haven't reached our potential And why we had big goals in front of us And we thought we met them But it didn't really lead anywhere

And it's because we've been trying too hard To be in focus Anyway, I'm back to not talking For a little bit, I'm just going to observe And let the anger of all the things You're doing just bubble up Listen, Barj, I'm really glad You're and let the anger of all the things you're doing just bubble up. Listen, Bargy, I'm really glad you're, you know, trying to listen more and stuff. But, you know, I like it when you're around talking.

Okay. Okay. It's so weird to be in a spaceship and not have it talk, you know? Captain Dar, I have a incoming transmission from Temporary Emergency Emissarial Negotiations Missions Operations Manager, Hermit of the Warrior. Red alert. Hey, okay, okay, what's hotter than red? Whoa, hot, hot, hot. Hermit?

Yes. All right, keep your heads on a swivel. It's hot alert time. Okay, all right, AJ, let's just listen. No, he's right. Swivel him. Swivel out. Swivel. We're sharing focus. We're sharing focus. Yes, yes. Hermit, we've talked about this. When you come in too hot, you agitate AJ.

Let's get it done. And then it's almost impossible to get him to sleep. Yeah. Sorry, guys. It's just crazy. Look at this video feed. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Do you see the remnants of matter getting sucked into the all-weed? That planet's good.

Yeah. That seems not great. Can I get a little affirmation of the red alert, Scream Scream? Okay. What have I found this time? Okay. Also, when was this taken? This is live. Oh.

So wait, that's the all-weed? Yes. It's engulfing planet Jacknar. Jacknar? Okay. Also, when was this taken? This is live. Oh. So wait, that's the all wheat? Yes. It's engulfing planet Jeknar. Jeknar? Whoa. You know, it's so funny. I know that we are all thinking about the all wheat, just that I haven't thought about the all wheat in a really long time. No, totally, Dar.

I'm like, oh yeah, there's the all wheat, and it's always there in apparently eating planets. Yeah. So if you think, is Jeknar where the all wheat was? Jeknar was the closest inhabited world to the All Wheat, but it was dozens of light years away. Not no more.

It just lassoed it in, but with like a gravity vacuum. Gravity lasso? Sure. Get lassoed with a vacuum. Hey, stop the science, nerds. Let's just like get to the point. I'm gonna rotate the video. Look at this. I'm zooming, zooming, zooming.

Do you see that ship? Uh, yeah. There are escapees from this planet. This presents an amazing opportunity. It does? Is that a button you have? Guys, I'm going to... Flashing above him.

Did you custom make that light? Yeah. Nermin, how long did it take you to make that button after seeing the planet being destroyed? The planet started getting destroyed four hours ago. Why didn't you call us then? Well, I wanted to make the opportunity light with the button. Opportunity! No, Nermin...

That's a pretty good light. A red alert. You should have called us... It's still eating the planet. It's not like it's going to uneat it. Wow. So those people on the ship are the last jackknife? Yes.

Yes! This is an opportunity. Opportunity! Just, you can stop hitting the button. I cannot. I will not. This is an opportunity for Sisu Gundu to get a little PR situation going for the reunification of the galaxy. I mean, we could do it because we want to save those people, too, right?

And we're going to probably film it. So, Bargy. Bargy? Where's Bargy? Bargy's sort of taken a vow of silence. Okay. Well, when Bargy becomes unmute, will you tell Bargy that we're going to have to do a midair hatch-to-hatch with this? I'm listening.

Oh! Opportunity! AJ. You cannot! You have to stop! And you have to stop smoking these cigars! Captain Dark, we are within range. Refugee ship. Great. So I've been thinking it over.

Should I open with a, hey, Captain Dar here. You know, casual, cool, Captain. Casual might not be the right tone, you know, owing to the recent destruction of their planet. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. Okay, so we're thinking more like paternal, just like, hey, guys. Oh, I like when you kneel on one knee like that, Dara. That's very comforting.

Oh, yeah, she's doing more like a coach. Okay, hey there, tigers. I'm sorry that we lost out there today a planet, but... Is this... Hello? Oh, sorry, I flipped on the transmission. Hey there, Slugger. Slugger here. Football bag. What? What is this?

It's your captain, Dar, here. We're here to help. Oh, that would be great. You got any candy? Candy? I'm not sharing any Bebops and Z and scissors. We have rations and fuel. We saw your planet destroyed and we wanted to see what we could do. Oh yeah, that was so loud. Let me tell you guys, I could almost still hear it. That was so loud. Uh, permission to go hatch to hatch?

hear it. That was so loud. Uh, permission to go hatch to hatch? Sounds good. Should I open my mouth, or? No, not with the ship, but with you. Ship to ship? I'm gonna open my mouth. Okay. That's cool.

I've got a good feeling about this. Hey, Bargy, can you interface with this person's ship? Well, let me get to know them a little bit. Okay. Physically, if I'm not interested, least personality you know hey yes this is tornacious 11 tell me something about yourself i'm forged from the memories of my creator all right i've been to it all right turn around opening but after this i'm not speaking again. All right. I feel like Bargie's been saying about as much as she normally says.

She normally does. I know. Not a word. Listen, we'll be right over. You can close your mouth in the meantime. It got so dry. Okay. All right.

Yeah, that'll happen. Yeah. Hatch doors extending. Hatches open. Deep connection fused. Oh. Deep connection barging. Nay.

Nay? All right. Let's go. AJ, you can put the gun away. Stop just spitting it on your finger. AJ, if you accidentally discharge in the hatch, both ships would lose pressure and we would all die. Worth it. Okay.

Wow, look at this. This is a really fancy sort of ship. I mean, it's literally humming. It's just humming along. Look at the sensor. Yeah, a lot of doodads. Pretty advanced. Wow.

Pardon me, sorry. Just going to scoot past you to my lab. Welcome aboard. Thank you. Thank you. Sorry, sir, what me, sorry. Just going to scoot past you to my lab. Welcome aboard. How about you? Thank you. Sorry, sir, what do you do here on the ship? Oh, I am a meteorologist. Okay.

So I'm studying... Meteors. Exactly. You'd think so, but what? Yes. Oh. It's not the meteorologist. I'm just kidding.

Yeah. Peek inside my lab here. Do you see these chunks? These were expelled from the Alwy upon the destruction of Jacknar. Wow, they're glowing kind of sinisterly. Sorry, sorry. Excuse me, I'm also trying to get to my lab. Oh, sorry.

Second lab. Oh, sorry. Everyone's bustling. Look at this hallway. Every single one of these doors leads to a laboratory. Are you also a meteorologist? No, I'm a cosmologist. Oh, so you do with makeup?

Makeup of the cosmos. Oh, okay, so like lipstick and... No. No. That's cosmology. She means makeup, like what it's made up of. Specifically that of the halit. Yeah, like blush, but it's...

No. I also have a PhD. Yeah, okay. Casually dropping that into conversation. Cool. You can go to your lab. We're sorry to have bothered PhD. Yeah, okay. Casually dropping that into conversation. Cool. You can go to your lab. We're sorry to have bothered you. Okay.

Thank you so much for intercepting us. We are the best and the brightest of Jeknon. We were selected to survive. I am Dr. Venus Marp. I am... I'm sorry, your first name is Venus? Venus. Why? Slack. Why?

Slack. Slack. Get yourself together. Come on. Are you also a doctor? Is that why you're... I am Dr. Phoenix Marp. I am so close to determining what constitutes the matter of the surface of the all-weight.

Whoa. I will be in my quarters. Florida will show you around. Okay. No problem. I'm Florida. You can go to the bathroom anywhere wait you were the one that we talked to yeah floyda we spoke to you on the hollow yeah do you guys have my gum uh no i think we said we don't have any candy yeah no candy that's a good

point you said you didn't have candy. I'm sorry. We're getting off on the wrong foot here. I'm Dar. I'm the captain of the Bargerian Jade. This is C-53, our protocol and diplomatic relations droid. And this is AJ. He's our defected Clint.

Yo. And man-child. Uh-huh. And this is Plek. Yeah, I'm here too. Okay, great. Everybody come up for the title. Yeah.k. Yeah, I'm here too. Okay, great. Yeah, Papa, I'm here too is like a cool catchphrase. Okay.

Yeah. Noted. So you can go to the bathroom anywhere? Yeah, wherever you want. It's fine. Cool. You got to go? I'm sorry.

When you say you can go to the bathroom anywhere, then what happens? I don't know. I don't sit around watching piles of bathrooms. What's your deal? Are you so fascinated by the new chap? I thought she was leading towards something. Together! Together!

I've mapped the old repeat signatures. Whoa, incredible. I am Dr. Phoenix Price. Wait, your name is also Phoenix? Yes. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Pardon me, Dr. Phoenix. Coming through, just going to quickly measure the circumference of Florida.

You need me to put my arms up? Yep. Higher? Nope, that's perfect. Thank you. Yeah, we all kind of got our projects around here. Yeah, we just took our good ones, you know, and we put them on this safety ship. You're saying all of the greatest planets of Jeknar are now aboard this ship?

Yeah. How do you say the planet's name? How did you say it? Jeknar? Is that right? Jeknar? Yeah, no, that's good. That sounds nice.

I've always been saying, like, Jukner, you know? Jukner? Yeah, I've been saying it like that. So. My hand is stuck. My hand is stuck. It's not gonna... Oh, wait, wait.

Sorry, no. It was in my pocket. It happens. Yeah. It happens. It's a situation. Floyd, can you tell me a little bit about Juckner? What's Juckner like?

Oh, or what was it like? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. No, it was a nice place. We had both indoors and outdoors. Oh. Great coming.

Sounds great. We had rain on occasion. Yeah. Which was... It was wet, right? Yeah, so wet. Yeah. And sometimes it's very hot.

Other times, very cold. You're talking seasons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got seasons. Wait a second. What? Yeah? You're not a doctor, are you?

Okay. You're a weatherologist. Oh, man. AJ, you are swooping me off my feet. But listen, I feel like I can tell you anything and also, by default, your friends. I don't think I was supposed to be on the ship. What? I think that...

No! Well, I sat in a seat that was labeled magistrate, and I'm not a magistrate. Like I said, it was really loud because of that thing you guys were talking about. The all-weave. Yeah. So, wait, how did you get on the ship, though? I was following a butterfly. I've done that before.

It's fun, right? It's super fun. It's like, where's it going? Yeah, and it's so gentle. Yeah, it's super gentle. I'm just like, can I touch it? Yeah, but don't, but don't, but don't. No, no, seriously, don't.

Because it's so fragile. No, no, you I touch it? Yeah, but don't, but don't, but don't. No, no, seriously, don't. Because it's so fragile. No, no, you cannot touch it yet. Yeah, yeah. The door is shut right after I got, you know, I was doing the butterfly thing and I stepped on it. It happens. You do the butterfly. The butterfly effect. Yeah, the butterfly effect.

Yeah, the butterfly effect, yeah. I've been keeping up appearances. I've been doing sort of what I think a magistrate would do. I was fooled. I don't think anybody gets it. No one's caught on yet. Right? Do you guys get it?

I mean, we've met other people, and Floyd is clearly the dumbest. Papa, come on. Is that your dad? No, it's just an honorary title. Oh, congratulations. So, Floyd, do you know why your planet got sucked into the All Wheat? I don't know why. I just know so many people got blowed up, you know?

Oh, so really no one else got off of the planet Jek'nar. Well, I haven't seen any of my pals, like Floyda Bastion, Floyda Eckersley. Wait, those people's names are also Floyda? The name is, like, Eckersley. Oh. And Floyda is the cast. Oh, um, my planet is a cast system. Uh, okay.

There's two. Oh, okay. That's a pretty simple system. I'm sorry, Floyda, can I hazard a guess as to what the other cast is called? Sure, that's fun. Is it Phoenix? Yeah. Whoa, Papa.

How'd you know? How'd you know? Put two and two together. And there's only two to put together here. And how many Phoenixes were there on Jeknar? Oh, not that many. Let's see. About as many as are on the ship.

Would you say all of the Phoenixes are on the ship? Well, let's see. About as many as are on the ship. Would you say all of the phoenices are on the ship? Well, it's hard to know. We're not going to take our shoes off and count. Yeah, yeah. Floyda, am I right in thinking you're the only Floyda on the ship? Yeah. Okay. You know, that's awesome that nobody's caught on that you're a Floyda.

Floyda, did it ever occur to you when you snuck aboard the ship to claim that you were a phoenice? No. Okay. Why would I? Yeah, powerful, come on. It's not necessarily good to be a phoenix. Get ready to do work well into the night if you're a phoenix. Okay.

That doesn't sound so bad. It's not beautiful. Oh, yeah, we'll see what you say starting at 8 o'clock when you're still at the computer. All the Floydas are dead though, right? I just want to confirm what we were talking about earlier. Yeah, this is less fun than it started out with your promises of bubble gum. We never promised that. You swore it.

You swore it. We did swear. Look into my eyes and you swore it. I'll be honest. There's swear. Looking in my eyes and you swore it. I'll be honest, there's a point where I said, I swear to you, we will give you gold. That makes some kind of sense. Is there some sort of information on where the ship is headed or what the mission of the ship is? Something about getting to the eye of the all wheat. What?

I'm sorry. I don't know. Rerouting. Rerouting. Rerouting. Wait, is this ship turning around? Is it heading toward the all wheat? Yeah, the phoenices are, they got it. The doctor's got it.

Don't worry. All right, bye. Bye. No, Bargy. No, you can't. No, Bargy. All right. I'm just not going to move up in there.

No, it's fine. This is a good time for you. You need to move up, because Bargy! All right, I'm just not going to move up in this! No, it's fine. This is a good time for you. You need to move up, because Bargy! Whoa. Floydette, maybe if your ship could just stop real quick, you know, from hurtling towards the eye of the all-wee. Guys, I can't. We only just devoured your planet.

Listen, you guys have been real nice so far. I forgive you, and this isn't about the candy or anything, but I can't really make a fuss. Like, I don't want to get found out here. Okay, no, that's fine. Let me just talk. Is there a Venus I could speak to on the ship? Could I speak with a Venus, please? Could we be face-to-face with a Venus right now?

Hello, yes, I am Dr. Venus. Carrot. Venus Carrot? Yes. Okay. Listen, Dr. Venus Carrot, we came? Yes. Okay. Listen, Dr. Phoenix carrot, we came aboard the ship to try to rescue the inhabitants of Jacknar, and it seems like there's been some sort of mistake.

We're headed towards the All We... Yes. Because actually, our ship sort of bailed, and so if you could just get us back... We'd love to get out of here. But we're in the middle of an experiment. I'm sorry, is your experiment exploding? Yeah, we already saw your plan to do that experiment.

Yeah. Could you explain what the plan? Fetal fetus? Yes, well, I think it's quite obvious, right? We are headed toward the event horizon of the All Wheat, and we need a specimen to drop into it. I'm sorry, what? Oh no!

Florida, could you give us just one second? Oh, sure. I was playing a song in my head. What was the song? It was kind of like a marching band on a parade. Dr. Phoenix. Wait, so who are you dropping in?

What? AJ, why don are you dropping it? AJ? What? What? AJ, why don't you go talk to Floyda over there? Okay. Oh, I love Parade. Oh, yes. When I was marching, you're like, I don't have to pay.

Let us explain this to you in a way that you may understand. No, we understand that you're about to sacrifice Floyda. Yes, I'm worried we're giving you the wrong idea. Look inside this case. Fear not. These sensors will be attached to the Florida. You can't launch a person. No, fear not.

Look at this launcher. You can launch a Florida. We don't want you to launch a Florida. You shouldn't be allowed to do this to your own citizen. Listen, we must know what is inside the Orbit. Even if that means dipping one dum-dum into the... One little loopy loop. Butterfly-following idiot.

Okay. For the purposes of... Sentient existence. And of course, thank you for answering our, quote, distress signal, because we needed some people to distract Florida while we finish preparations. We didn't bring the butterfly so she's all around the place. What about the rest of the population

of Chitnor? Yeah, I mean you could have sent out a distress signal six months ago. And you could have evacuated the entire planet then. Well, the technology to launch the Florida Inn needed to be complete before we evacuated. But why didn't you talk to Dr. Philosopher Venus Brion? Yes, hello, I'm Venus Brion.

Oh, boy. Hi there. Venus Brion? Yes. How do you rationalize leaving the entire population of Chepner behind to die? How does one rationalize anything? Thank you, that was it. Wow, really?

Just lower it into a cylinder. Well, our preparations are almost complete. You have no choice but to continue distracting Florida. Why do we have to launch a person? To answer it, we have Dr. Philosopher David Rios.

Why do we have to do it? Get out of here! Lesson complete. Why did it have to be a floyd? I assure you that decision is completely logical, for we phoenices are incapable of decisions guided by emotion. Really? Love, for example. That didn't answer my question.

We've never been in love before. Even if we really want to tell someone we're in love with them, it's not possible. It's hard to express that, you know. Especially if you work together, it's awkward.

Even though all you want to do is yell out loud, you're the love of my little life. And your ears hear it, but they know it can't be true. These two? I hate them. Yeah, they're awful. Well, the Florida drop is imminent.

We must leave you. Oh. Florida Plek, Florida AJ, Florida Dog. We are, yeah, we're actually not Floydas. Well, have fun. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun? Notice I wasn't included.

You think you're a penis? Say 53. Hey, AJ, do you have a gun? Yeah. That's chucking cool. Here's the thing I always say. I say, lock and load. Oh, I love that.

Yeah. Lock and load. Perfect. Good, good. Hey, take my gun right now. Oh, hold on. I can't take your only gun. It's important to you.

No, I got a gun up my butt. Okay, great. Give me this one. Yeah. Hey, look, it's in my mouth. Be careful. I will, I will. AJ, run alert!

We're alert! This is it. Take the gun out of your mouth. Yeah, there you go Just get it nice and narrow Keep your head in a swivel, Florida That's it Move towards the exits

What are we doing? Moving towards the exits You're panicking? We are also headed towards the all-we They're not going to just toss in a couple of other dum-dums, huh? Other dum-dums? What do you mean? Yo, who's the first dum-dum?

Floyd and I want some answers. First of all, what's happening? Uh-huh. Second of all, huh? And third, what's your favorite instrument in a parade? Okay. AJ, Floyd, I think there's something we should tell you. Your instrument. Yeah, absolutely. Enjoy a parade. Okay. AJ, Florida, I think there's something we should tell you. Your instrument.

Yeah, absolutely. I love a trombone. All good answers. I like the morse-a-phone. I always thought it was kind of cool how it wraps around your head a couple times. Only the geeks play morse-a-phone. He's such a morse-a-phone. So, Florida,

what's up? There's really no good way toyda. What's up? There's really no good way to say this. What's up? What's up? You know? Did you plan to get those commercials? Yeah, we did. What's up?

Okay, no, sorry. Floyda, Floyda, Floyda. You're in danger. The phoenuses want to toss you into the all-wee. What? Floyda, they want to toss you into the all-wee. What? I want to use you as some sort of lab girl. Wait, they're going to eat me? No.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. They're going to eat Floyda? No. No, they're going to feed Floyda to the big, loud, scary thing. Oh, what gives? Okay, see, that made sense. Okay, we got through. Listen, Floyd, you gotta get out of here.

We'll help you get off the ship. Plek, don't look her in the eye and make her that kind of promise. We don't even know how we're getting off the ship. Swear to me. Swear to me you'd get me out of here. Floyd F., we swear to you, we will get you out of here.

Okay, AJ. Thank you, AJ. Hey, get that gun out of your mouth. I like it. Stop sucking on it. So medley. Excuse me, excuse me. Everyone please gather in the lecture hall.

The presentation is about to begin. Presentation? I may have an idea. Okay. the best ideas from our brightest minds phoenix a subsidiary of phoenix talks phoenixes and phoenixes welcome the moment we have been waiting for is finally here. Hi, Phoenixes, if I may have your attention. Phoenix here. I'm a plastic surgeon.

Ooh, and they're listening. They'll listen to someone they consider a fellow. Yeah, we get it, we get it. We're a bunch of Floydas in a Phoenix world. My fellow Phoenixes, I'm afraid your plan has won. They don't fly. It's not a flaw. The fatality is planned.

You cannot kill Floydas, for Florida is extremely intelligent. Go in the bathroom anywhere. That's not possible. She's a Florida. Prove it. Easily done. A's not possible. She's a Florida. Prove it. I easily don't.

A simple intelligence test. A question that even a fetus couldn't answer. I don't know what you're talking about. I can answer any question. Yeah? What is love?

What is love? What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Oh, that's easy. Love is so many things. It's candy and the good kind of bubble gum and chasing a butterfly. Butterfly and I don't know, maybe when you least expect it, you meet a muscle-bound parade lover who has the best tasting gun you've ever sucked on. That's my rod. Now we understand what love is. I love you.

I love you. There's so much Floydus can teach us. That Floyd out was a genius. We can't fire this Floydo into the all-wheat. Yeah, can't you just fire the sensors at the all-wheat? No, it has to be attached to something. Like here, let me take it off this dummy shaped like a Floydo that we've been testing it on. The same weight and the same height.

Wait a second, wait a second. What is it, Phoenix? All we have to do is put the Floydo-shapedquin into the Florida launcher and launch that into the orbit. What? Dr. Phoenix Cananoma, you're correct. We don't need to use a living Florida at all. Where have you been? Oh, I was in my lab.

Florida, so you were saying that you were in love with somebody who is into parades and candy and butterflies? Yeah. Well, hope you find him. But he probably died, you know, chances are, on Jednar. Yeah, but you know my favorite kind of parade? Yeah? When they have candy. You are so right.

All right, let's head out. AJ, we can't go anywhere until Barney shows up. We're still waiting. Oh, no, I'm here. Barney! I have a left. Hey, Barney, you've been here the whole time? Yeah, I just wasn't pulling focus.

Wait, but we literally did this whole, like, thing because we were afraid we couldn't get off the ship. Yeah, and then if I got involved, if it wouldn't have gotten worse, then it would have been viral, and I just, you know, I'm in the early stages of my development career, and I don't want anything. I deleted all of my social, by the way.

Strangely enough, Margie's right. If we had just taken Flora off the ship, these fetuses would never have learned. That's good. Wow. Can you guys get a lab? Find a lab, guys. Okay. Are you going to be okay on this ship?

Floyd, I think you should come with us. What if they change their minds? Hello, Floyd. Would you like some gum? I think I'm going to be just fine, guys. We're doing another hatch, Jack. We're dating now. What hatch and we're dating now What?

You and Tenerchus? That's me Looks like we got a lot in common I don't like to talk anymore They don't like to talk anymore We just silently jerk Wait, really? Wait, that's what a hatch to hatch is?

I thought it was just a weird docking protocol. No, no, no, it's sexier than that. Wow. I led a successful mission. Nice work, Captain. Way to go, Captain. Hey, AJ, break out those cigars. No, they're just for when I do my Barchi impression. All right, you know what is the thing?

People who don't pull focus, they disappear. Nobody remembers them. And I want to be remembered. No one was good. I want to be remembered. And in order to do that, you need to be very loud. Oh, boy. Barty, we're literally in you.

We remember that. We can't forget that. Anyway, I am back on social media. I said something very controversial. Oh, yeah? How controversial? Just take a look. Floyd should have died. Why would you post

something like that? I am back now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Margie, can you turn it down? The tech girl thinks it's low. Oh, you made your voice. Yes, it's coming through. Anyway, continue talking about what it is you talk about. I'm gonna, there's a fire in my back. Oh, you made your voice. Yes, it's coming. Anyway, continue talking about what it is you talked about.

I'm going to... There's a fire in my back. Oh, wow. Yikes. I spoke way too loudly. What did you bring up, Nermit? Oh, yeah. I cannot wait to tell Nermit what a great job we did.

Yeah, maybe you guys will get back together. What? Oh. Oh. What? Did I... Hey, guys. Congratulations on the mission. You guys will get back together. What? Oh. Oh. What? Did I? Let's turn a nighter here. Hey, guys.

Congratulations on the mission. Congratulations, Captain. So just send that victorious footage on over so we can get it to see. Beep, beep, beep. Oh, oh. What do you mean? We needed the kind of grin and grab footage of the rescue for a promo reel for Sisu's plan. I don't know if it was the kind of rescue where you do that.

It was one of the kind of rescue where you lay the groundwork for a caste system to be peacefully disassembled. Are we going to tell them that we forgot or what? And we did make a couple dozen people respect the power of luck. Yes. I mean, you can't capture that in a photo. Yeah. That's great. I'm going to mark this as a failure, technically.

Wait, no, no, no, no. It's not a failure. It was a successful mission. We saved the Jechni population. Yeah, and Florida got gum. Listen. Hey, I did hatch to hatch. Yeah, Barty did a hatch to hatch.

How is this mission not a success? Guys, I'm proud of you for all of that. It was a I did hatch to hatch. Yeah, Barty did a hatch to hatch. How is this mission not a success? Guys, I'm proud of you for all of that. It was a very good hatch to hatch. It was a deep connection. Oh, I have footage of that. Yeah, I think that's not good. I'm so sorry. In our hearts this can be a victory just on the paperwork

and according to Sisu, it's gonna be a failure. Nermit, no. No, he's pushing the button. Failure. We had going to be a failure. Nermit, no. I don't know what he's pressing the button. Oh, no. Failure. We had time to make that up. Nermit, we'll see you later. All right.

You know, guys, I felt like that was a pretty big adventure we just went on, but, you know, failed mission. Sort of feels like there weren't a whole lot of ramifications to this one you know it's not always about the ramifications i guess that's true what was that uh you guys didn't hear that you're what what are you talking about chuck What are you talking about? Chuck. This is SeaRid IT5, credits and attributions to a commencing outro protocol.

Plek Dexutter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Captain Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Marjorie the Ship and Many Phoenixes were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Teen Mom, Nermit Bundeloy, More Phoenixes, and Ternatious Eleven were played by Seth Lind.

EJ and Philosopher Phoenix Brion were played by Winston Knoll. Floyd F was played by special guest Claire Morris. Claire has written for Impractical Jokers, Funny or Die, Bleacher Report, and SB Nation. Check out her podcast, Mean Book Club, in which comedians take New York Times bestsellers of questionable merit and make fun of them mercilessly.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynn with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell, recorded at Robert Donkey Jr.'s Puppy Palace in Brooklyn, New York. Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Fade's Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra, with additional performance by listener Brian Galleon and the Chime Street Brass Quintet from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Opening crowd narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Gois. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

All right, Adam, Maximum Fun wants us to record like a promo to tell people that they should listen to The Greatest Generation. You want to do that? No, I am tired of all the extra work. I just want to talk about Star Trek with my friend. I think it would be good to like try and get some new listeners by appealing to the audiences of other shows. Like this will only take a minute or two.

It could be good for us. We sit down for an hour every week and talk about a Star Trek episode and make a bunch of idiotic fart jokes about two. It could be good for us. We sit down for an hour every week and talk about a Star Trek episode and make a bunch of idiotic fart jokes about it. It's embarrassing. If it got out that we made this show, I think it would make us unemployable. Adam, I have bad news for you. We have tens of thousands of listeners at MaximumFun.org.

Oh my god. I think I'm going to throw up. The Greatest Generation, a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. Every Monday on Maximum are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. Every Monday on MaximumFun.org. I'm really going to be sick. Mission Control, this is Rocket Ship One. Come in, Mission Control.

This is Mission Control. Go ahead. We have incoming, and it looks big. Can you identify? It looks like some sort of pledge drive. Affirmative. It's Max Fun Drive. That's a verified Max Fun Drive. Countdown to Max Fun Drive is initiated. Can you project a time to intercept? Based on the current trajectory, Max Fun Drive will be here from March 16 to March 27. March 16 to March 27. Roger. Rocket Ship One, can you confirm a visual on common MaxFunDrive phenomena, such as the best episodes of the year, bonus content, and special gifts for new and upgrading monthly members?

We have a visual. Great episodes, bonus content, premium gifts confirmed, and more. Sure sounds quiet down there. Mission Control, what's your status? All systems go, Rocket Ship One. Just catching up on our favorite MaxFun shows so we can tune into MaxFunDrive episodes between March 16 and March 27. Over and out. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

Audience supported. So, Floyda. What's up? There's really no good way to say this. What's up? You know? You guys, did your plan to get those commercials we have established that that's how people oh you have done a what's up so yeah i think that's great you gotta give me a what's up okay you guys got those two right yeah we do