Mission To Zyxx - 409: Rock the Pote [ft. Chrissy Shackelford]

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

The crew canvases planet Signon 7B, where they make a big mistake. Dar is the one who knocks. AJ smells butts. Bargie tests some new technology.Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and Commissioner Fweeeheahn!Winston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Baaayum!With special guest Chrissy Shackelford as Wooop!Recording, sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell Edited by Seth LindTheme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric GeuszAudio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network

It is a time of chaos. Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course the colossal Orwht. Which looks like if evil were a circle and on fire. Now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. All right, crew, listen. I know we want to see that experience as a negative, but we shouldn't think of that asteroid as being underpopulated.

We should think of us as always preaching the importance of Sisu, okay? Captain, there were two people on that asteroid, too. Yeah, that seems sort of like we're spinning our wheels. Captain, I just don't know that we are getting anywhere by going to these random places. I know that Sisu wants to reach out to every planet. Every planet. Dar, you know I respect you. It's like you're a sibling I never had.

Absolutely. We get each other. Yes. If you were a ship, I would keep you inside of me to keep you warm. But here's the thing. I don't got damn much gas, so. Wait, what, Bargy? You're out of gas?

We just keep going to places, and I can't, you know, gas is money. You know what I mean? Listen, I hear all of you, but we are doing something important. And one of these days, it's going to feel like a win. You know? It's going to feel good. Right now, it feels bad. Right now, it feels almost like I am leading us down a path full of failure and disappointment.

Okay. Captain. You're not wrong. But, but, but, I'm sure, I'm positive that we have a win in our future. We're going to have a win. Captain Darley, I have an incoming transmission from temporary emergency. I'm a serial negotiations missions operations manager, Nermit Bundle. All right, Nermit, give me something good.

You need a win, buddy. Don't worry. Well, you're just setting them up and knocking them down. Thanks for doing the hard work out there. Nermit, Nermit, I got to say, we're all a little bit tired of going to these, you know, these random, sometimes uninhabited planets. Nermit, these random planets, these bots aren't going to entertain you. We have to go to every planet.

Hearts, minds, tentacles, eyes, stalks. We're changing them. Everyone matters in this galaxy. This is the hard work. Everyone matters? Nice political slogan. Yeah, but there are trillions of planets in the galaxy. It matters to Sisu.

Sisu wants it, guys. So, like, I don't understand what the chucking problem is. She wants it. We're going to do it. Thank you, guys. And I've got great news for you. We were just telling you that we're miserable. We don't like this.

You guys get to go to another planet. Come on. Great. How many people live on this planet? Okay, guys. All right. Let's check. Hey, not bad.

5.1 billion. Okay. Okay. Okay. A, not bad. 5.1 billion. Okay. All right. That's actually not so bad. That's pretty good. You know, you get a couple asteroids with two people, you get a 5.1 billion, and all average is allowed. We're doing it. Well, my point is we should skip the asteroid with two people, and then the average would be much higher.

Okay, and I just, don't be mad. I did get the coordinates wrong on the asteroid with two people. That was not. That was a mistake, Nermin? Yeah, I put it on a post-it, and look at these two post-its. They're the same color. What does that have to do with anything? I wrote down the coordinates on this post-it.

What's the other number? The other number was the right planet. No, but what were the wrong coordinates? For the asteroid. What were the right coordinates? For the planet. A different planet you should have gone to. Which planet? Why did we not go to that planet? Where did the wrong coordinates come from the asteroid. What were the right coordinates? For the planet. A different planet you should have gone to.

Which planet? Why did we not go to that planet? Where did the wrong coordinates come from, Nermin? I wrote them down on this. Yeah, but why did you write them down anywhere? It was...

It's a lottery ticket. It's not even a coordinate? Well, it is, obviously. The asteroid was there. Oh, Nermin. So the reason why I don't have a win is because

you were bad at your job. Right, but out of the armpit of loss comes the bustling bustling firepower of winning. Yes, of course, it rolls off the tongue.

Out of the armpit of loss comes the bustling firepower of winning. That's just like... You're saying firepower is going to emerge from an armpit? Ah, he's a terrible... That's stinky. Is this a... I mean, that's such a... Also, a bustling armpit?

I... Wait, wait. What were you saying? My armpit cannon. Oh, boy. How many weapons are there in... Watch, so hold on. Wow. It's fires of order. Fires of order?, AJ? Watch, so hold on. Wow.

Yeah, it's fires of order. Fires of order? Yeah. Right out of the old pit. It's aimed down. I just sort of like go this. I kind of have to like. Where does the mortar hit?

I have to do a deep hit bend. Terrible design. That's still not pointed off. Watch, it's right where it's at. That's barely horizontal. AJ, where's the mortar currently? Where's the shell? Oh, it's swimming around somewhere.

Swimming around? It's more just like I sort of massage it up into my... Oh, that's... You can see it through the skin. So guys, here's... No, that's not a coordinate. Yes, this I'm sure is it. And here you go.

Okay. Verifying these coordinates so we don't waste our time. Okay. Looks like it is populated. Yeah, alright! Woo! Good job, Nermit. Keep going, seven feet. Okay, so that's a small win.

Nermit, why don't you have them digitally? Like, these coordinates, these are strings of a dozen or so letters and numbers. Yeah. These should be in a computer somewhere. I lost my power cable. What? To the Missionator.

Well, yeah, so I use my, like, the next office over, I go get it off theirs, and I write it down, and I come back to my office. That's a terrible system, Nermin. Arguably not a system. This explains a lot. Fellow no-nottos, the all-weak smiles upon you for finding your way here, blindfolded. We gather to rejoice in our absolute ignorance of the all-weak. Yes, yes, the less we know, the more perfect our minds.

For to know anything quantifiable of the infinite is by definition to know nothing. So too is the infinite nature of our innocence. Our lives are devoted to worshipping the utter incomprehension. Who amongst us can guess what the mighty old weight could be? I believe it is perchance an egg waiting to hatch. Oh, maybe.

Maybe. What if I be the eye of an enormous looking new peep in the part I see? Maybe. Maybe. I haven't thought about that or anything. I think perhaps could be

an ingrown star. I mean, that's pretty unlikely, but I mean, it could be. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Sorry, I'm Dr. Venus Marsh. I must tell you that evidence Ah, evidence. Oh, oh, Pish Marsh. Evidence suggests that the always is actually a rift in the fabric.

Oh, uh, la, la, la. No, listen to me. The always can be known if only we can launch someone inside it to see what is on the other side. And we have very little time. Somebody's turning around. Stop covering your ears and eyes. Scoot. Scoot.

Oh, you hate my expensive scooter. Brothers and sisters, mop your ears until you forget those poisonous facts. Oh, mop them. Mop. Mop, I say. Our unenlightened must be totaled. When the all-weak devours us all or whatever happens. We shall be innocent of deigning to know what it is.

If it can even devour things, who knows? It can. It will. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Support for the Phoenix's research comes from... Nermits, right? This is a bustling civilization. This is great. Wow. But, like, no. Space port. This is great. Wow. But like, no, spaceport. It'll land in the middle of nowhere. A lot of lawns and gardens, houses made out of wood and brick.

Oh, look at these little fences. It's sort of old-timey, you know? Newspaper, newspaper, what's the news? Oh, look at that jaunty little rock boy. Yeah, made of rocks. Oh, I like his little rock cap. Wow. Wow. Man.

Sadly, he went downhill on his one-speed bicycle too fast for us to catch up with him. I really like this planet. Charming. Well, I guess let's, you know, door to door. I guess let's just... This is our first house. Lock and load. Let's do it.

Yeah. All right. It's like so literal. This is actually a door that we're about to dock on. All the literature. All right, here we go. Put it in the back. Excuse me?

Hello? Just roll it up and put it in the back. Oh, is the house talking? No, I think someone's in there. Okay, fine. I'm coming out. What the dink? What the dink is going on out here? Hi there. Uh, hi there.

Uh, hi. Oh, no. So I'm Captain Dar. No. This is C-53. This is AJ. What's up? And this is Plek.

Am I dead? What? No. Am I dead? No, you're alive. You're alive. This is a place of dead people. AJ.

What? You're... I'm sorry for whatever I did. I don't know if this is like some sort of afterlife and you're here to torture me for all my wrongs. Calm down. We are just here to give you a little information about Sisu Gundu, the future savior of all quadrants here in the galaxy. Okay. Let me first ask, are you

playing in the upcoming Galactic Election? Am I playing into what? In the upcoming Adumanata? I don't know what you're saying to me. Vote in the upcoming Galactic Election. I don't think it was a volume issue. I don't know what any of those words mean.

I swear, you can't have anything in the house. Do you know what dub means? Miss, you know, maybe we should take a step back, guys. Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay, let's start simply. Do you understand the word boat? The thing you get in when you're on the beach vacation. Uh, no, that's a boat.

That's a boat. I got an idea. We came in a ship over there. Margie, say something. Okay. I can see you in the movie. Okay. What's that thing?

Yeah, AJ, that didn't clarify anything. Yeah. Miss, you know what? I'm just going to leave you a little of our literature. It's here on this holographic chip. Feel free to peruse whenever you get a chance. We really hope to see you at the next one. Is he batting his eye?

No, no. Okay. All right. You know what? Oh, go. Wow know what? Wow. Wow. Not everyone wants to talk politics, but this is a pretty chilly reception.

She was not interested. I'm just going to take one second to make sure we're on signal. Sure. Yeah. Oh, looks like I can finally get that newspaper. Hey, uh, newspaper rock boy? What the?

Wow. Pretty non-standard reaction to buying a newspaper from a paper money. Okay, I've gotten strong reactions before, but... That was rude. Wow, they're going uphill, too. Mom, what are those monsters doing in the neighbor's yard? Oh, no. Could you not come in here?

I'm not partying with you. Sure, what's up? You know, I could hit him from this distance. Put your gun down, AJ. Yeah, I was about to say the same thing. AJ, don't shoot the child. All the time. We have broken the Primo Directivo.

Oh, boy. The Primo Directivo? Wait. Okay. C-53, what is the Primo Directivo? What? You haven't heard of the Primo Directivo? I don't know what that What do those words even mean? It's a bad thing when you break the Primo Directivo

What is the Primo Directivo? I don't know It is the first order for all Space-faring civilizations You don't just land on some planet that doesn't know what space travel is and start telling them about space travel. Uh, okay. If people find out that we broke the

Primo de Rantigo on Sisu Seisan, that's a huge no-no. Alright, I hate to say it, but we are, um, in trouble, and we need to get back into that house. Okay. Yes. Hello again. You know what? We're gonna need to come back into that house. Okay. Yes. Hello again. You know what?

We're going to need to come inside. Oh, I'm hosting all of a sudden. So people crash land on my porch. And now all of a sudden I'm supposed to have cookies. Yeah, come in. You eat shit this, right? You got dietary restriction? C-53 can't eat.

Okay, so I would call that a dietary restriction. This might be a shock for you. I'm a sentient robot. I don't know what sentient is. Okay. Well, let me show you the house. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

So this is kind of the sitting area. This is lovely. Thank you so much Yeah, it smells very bad here That's really messed up Because I just put in an air freshener Did you? Yeah

Well, I'm sorry, it doesn't smell bad I was wrong It doesn't smell like butts in here Does anyone else think it smells like butts? Alright, AJ Listen, miss, uh, sorry, what was your name? Whoop? Roop?

Whoop? Okay. Uh, listen, whoop? We should sort of explain our situation. We, and I would prefer if you would keep this just sort of between us, we are visitors from outside of your planet. What's a planet?

The life of contact with the greater community has really a detrimental effect on our vocabulary. I think that was a big leap to plan. I think we should have started a little smaller. Start smaller. We're from out of town. Yeah. Two towns over, dang fango.

Imagine a town that is so far in the sky. It's on a star you see at night. You take a sky wow to it? A what? A sky wow? That thing. It goes in the air.

It's got wings. You have to show up and you go through a big metal thing and they make you take out your lotions and stuff. A sky wow. That's an airplane. So in some fashion, yes, you would take a skywow. But imagine if a skywow could go up and then just keep going up. And imagine if that skywow could sing and dance and act,

if it was a triple threat. Yeah, AJ, that's not really relevant to this. No, she's got it all is what I'm saying. I know, I know. Oh, you're talking about my sister. Bam! Oh. The triple threat of town. Sorry, your sister's name is Bam?

Bam! Okay. Hey, sister! Yeah, Bam? I'm going upstairs to prepare for my performance, because I'm a triple threat. Wow. I have an airplane.

Yeah. Okay. You that happen here before? Yeah. Okay. You all are aliens, right? Oh, she figured it out. You're from a different place, maybe a different time, but nonetheless. We never said anything about time. No, time is now. Nonetheless, you don't want anyone who knows this use here.

That would be for the best. That would be for the best. Yeah, so if you could just forget about us, we'll be on our way. Or just look right into this. No. Well, let's take pictures of us. Permission to open up a can? AJ, no.

No. Okay, I just sent that picture to the local newspaper. And now everybody knows who you are. You said your name was Plek. You said your name was Captain. Yep, that's me. You said your name was I Don't Eat.

And you said your name was AJ. Already sent to the paper. Okay. And now everybody's going to know my name. Whoop. Whoop, look. We're between a rock and a hard place. Good, nice. I didn't know that you didn't know my name. Whoop. Whoop, look. We're between a rock and a hard place. Good.

Nice. I didn't know that you didn't know about us. We're in a little bit of trouble. So if you could just help us out of this jam. That'd be great. Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. There. I deleted the email. Thank you.

You can do that? Yeah, it's called unsending. No, that is not a technology that we have. What is unsending? That would be brilliant. No, once it goes, it goes into their server, and then you don't have access to it. Nope, for up to 30 minutes, you're allowed to unsend any email you'd like to. Wow, I would unsend every email.

If they read it in 30 minutes. They immediately have to go to sleep, and then they are supposed to tell themselves it was a dream. What a flawless system. That's a good system. Really, yeah. But I know you're here. I know you're here. I think I got

you everything and I can make use do whatever the dink I want you to oh I mean we're happy to help in any way

we can oh no no they're blackmailing us you're blackmailing us right guys we're dinks we're big time dicks right now. Okay, Agent.

Get up really quick. That's right. You are dicked. And I am blackmailing you. Because I won't tell anybody about you and your little shit that talks and sings and sleeps. If you help me sabotage my sister at it's a poke for the town bell. We're going to need to dig into what that sentence means. Every year, the town does a popularity contest.

They get a little pallet, and they poke, and they put it in the box, and everyone pokes for who they want to be. The town bell. The town bell gets a sash, and then the town bell gets to perform for the next year, whatever they want, and everyone has to go, and everyone has to cheer them on. Is this something you would want to do if it was... Is this something... Who wouldn't want to be the town bell? Yeah, who wouldn't want to be poted town bell?

There's a commissioner who presides over the whole thing. Make sure all the poding goes smoothly. Okay, so this actually helps a lot. So we were actually coming. We were going to pote. I see. We're past that. Oh yeah, unfortunately.

Maybe we can salvage this. You can help me get poted, Town Bell. Is there a pote for that coming up? Yeah. The poke is tonight. There's one wrinkle, though. Only one?

There's one? Yeah. At the moment, we're balancing a lot of balls. I'd love to hear this wrinkle. The commissioner is our father. Oh, no. That's a big wrinkle. All I need you to do is sabotage my sister.

And I know she's going to win it again. I just need you to undermine her in some way. Make her look like a real dipshit. Not to be confused with the shit dip. Yeah. Well, how could we, three extraterrestrials and a robot... Good counting, AJ. Proud of you. ...undermine a local talent show?

I don't know. Pants-er. Set it on fire. Okay. Spitter with goo. Just because we're aliens doesn't mean we produce goo. Yeah, it's a little bit. I do. What?

What actually comes out of my other armpit? I have a mortar on one and an all-purpose goo on the other. What is an all-purpose goo? It's for binding, spackling, things like that. It's all-purpose. Wow. Okay. All right.

I can't believe I haven't used my goo armpit before. Yeah, it's weird that this is the first time we're just learning about this canon of goo. So in order, let's just recap. Pants her, set her on fire, cover her in goo. I'm just making a list here. Are you a species that if we set fire to you, you would burn to death? Am I a species? That's very personal.

I may have said something in your language. Species for you means... Someone who has sex for money. Okay. I apologize. So what were you asking me? I don't eat. If I light you on fire, will you burn to death?

No. Okay. So... Maybe this is the best plan. It's one of those episodes of the show and then we get more. I mean, yeah, it does seem... AJ. Uh...

Does anyone else smell butts? I don't actually smell butts, AJ. I'm not really sure what you're talking about. Maybe you're the only one who smells butts. Maybe AJ, it might be you. Yeah, is it the helmet? Is there something wrong with your helmet? Yeah, it might be.

How often do you change your filters? Change the... Here, I'm just going to tap this. Oh, wow. Yeah, you've got to change that. Sorry. Sorry. Look, I'm looking at this juice coming out of your mouth. AJ, your filter change that focus. Sorry. Look how many of these juice come out.

AJ, your filter smells like butts. Okay, alright, might be. This one's on all AJ. Let's put the filter back in. No, you gotta... Don't put it back in. Yeah, what am I gonna do? I don't know about the air here.

I'm off to the performance. I'll see you there. Okay. So let me get this straight The plan is We, a mismatched group of aliens Are going into a crowd of people Who don't know we exist To preserve the primo directivo

That's the gist of it, yeah When you say it sort of like that It seems like not a great plan AJ, quick aside. Yeah. Just, you know, maybe also have your gun ready. Got it, Captain. Okay, this is it. This is quite a production. Yeah, this is it.

This is quite a production. Yeah, this is the night of the year. Welcome, welcome, Desire Commissioner. That's my dad. The greatest day of the year here when we crowned the town bell. Oh, I love bells! I know there's not a lot of suspense about who it's going to be, but it's still an exciting moment. Coding is important! Every voice counts!

Uh, whoop, um... Yeah, it's her. How many years has your sister been the town bell? 32. Oh, boy. Would they like her? She won it first year she was born. Wow.

Everyone said the baby had, like, a way about her. Yeah, that's the factor. That's the baby. Yeah. Look, there she is, still deserving of it, even after 32 years. AJ, how's the goo coming? Papa, I'm secreting as fast as I can, but my glands can only do so much. That's right.

Yeah, don't ask if you don't want to know about the glands and the goo. Okay. And we want to thank all of the contestants who submitted themselves to this for some reason. Are you the only one competing against your sister? You know, people kind of started dropping off once they realized that Bam was going to win it every year. So it's just been me, and then sometimes people throw in objects just as a fun joke.

Objects? Will it be Whoop? Will it be this broom? Will it be this gum wrapper? Gum wrapper? Yeah, that one gets really close every year. The same wrapper is running multiple years in a row. Yeah, and he has gotten a huge makeover over the past year.

I get it. A lot of work done. Wow. Will it be this old steak? Oh, man. That feels like someone thought that was the trash. Or will it be... Bam! Boom!

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, I hate when Sheila juryates in her own name. Yeah. Hi, everybody! All right, AJ. Yeah? You sneak under the stage.

Got it. Perfect pants position. I'm going to pants the sister at the right moment. Okay. Excellent. That's great. You had a cure in the stage. Got it. Perfect pants position. I'm going to pants the sister at the right moment. Okay. Excellent. I'll be hiding here in the wings. Now I've disguised myself as this grinding machine, and you know, this might seem a little aggressive, but

I've equipped a flamethrower attachment. Wow, that's great. You know, you gotta get the job done. I'm hoping that the hood of this robe is going to keep anyone from noticing I'm not made of rocks. Great, great. And I put on this beard. Yeah, Dar, I'm not sure if that will...

I mean, look at the audience. They all have beards. Yeah, but Dar, you're much larger. Stage crew coming through. Oh, Powimu, you grew a beard. Yes. Thank you. Okay, all right, it works.

This species is weird. We don't call each other species unless we're actually species. Oh, right, right, right. We're going to get in position. Okay. This competition is not about your looks. It's about the energy that you present. My sister knows about that. Isn't that right? Uh...

Uh, I'm right here? What the dink? She's got a heart? And sister, this year I want you to also be my co-bear. What? Okay, now, now. Now, now, go now, EJ. It's a roll and push, yeah. No, see, fire.

No. No, no, no. Sister, what's happening? No. All right, flack. No, no, no. Assistant, what's happening? No. All right. Flak. No, no, no, no, no. What is this?

Flak. Lift. Lift. And the kill. Oh, my bottom. My bottom is melted. My bottom is melted. Why did you still do this?

I, I, it was the plan. It was the plan. She was being so nice. I was getting attention. We agree. We agree. You sabotaged her and you let us go. Well, now her bottom half is melting and it smells like butts in here. Okay, so it's not just me. What is this

sabotage of my delightful daughter? Bam! That was a triple threat. Pants. Fire. Goo. It was these freaks. They came from another planet just to sabotage my beautiful sister. They're aliens. And they want us to do something called vote,

which seems like some dinked up sex thing if you ask me. It's not. It's not at all. It can be. And they're ruining everything. They said they want to hurt the commissioner, I heard, maybe. We never said that. We got to go.

Go, go, go. We got to go. Get him, commissioner. Whoa. Get him before they leave in a sky while that goes up her. I will never understand this. Security, grab those aliens. We got to read.

The boats are counted. We're calling the winner. Security, grab those aliens. We gotta read the... The votes are counted. We're calling the winner. Security, grab those aliens. And everyone clap for the new bell. The gum wrapper. Oh, my. Wait, if aliens exist, then what's the point of any of this? All right. So let me get this straight, okay?

You broke the primo, what was it, narrativo? Primo directivo. I mean, we didn't set out to do it. Yeah, we didn't know we were doing it. Right. But at the end of the day, the most important thing in the story is we can unsend emails now? Wow! I mean, I don't really know how the technology works, Bargy, but...

Oh, wow, I'm going to start right now. Oh, no, no, no, no. Number what? They can do it. I don't know how... Spaceship? Spaceship? no, no. They can do it. I don't know how. Spaceship? Hey, it was small the entire time. He knows what that means.

No, Bargy, I wouldn't send that. You should do Derek. That's a dumb name. No one should be named Derek. I mean, that's probably true. Bargy, you can unsend these by not writing them in the first place. Yeah, you haven't sent them yet, Bargy. Deberfit Fundasoy? That's not a name.

Why did you have an easier name like Derek? Oh, boy. Hollywood Media Tonight is a drunk text. No, no, no. Texts aren't even emails. Yeah, we don't know anything about that. You know, I'm going to email every single corn I know. I know eight corns.

Corn number one. Corn number two. Bargy, Bargy, we don't have this technology. We don't have eight cores. Core number one. Core number two. Barjit, Barjit, we don't have this technology. We don't have the technology. Quack, I'm going to send you a very terrible email right now, but you'll never get it. No, I'm reading it now, Barjit. Oh, you just got it.

I just got it. That's very... What do you mean you just got it? That's a photo of my butt. Where did you get that? Captain Dora, I have an incoming transmission from Temporary Emergency Invisarial Negotiations Missions Operations Manager, Bundaloy. Oh, no.

Hey, Nerm. Bargy, this is so hurtful, okay? I understand that my music is not for everyone, but... You weren't supposed to. I would never speak like that. You don't accept that email? Black sent it. Nermit, Nermit.

Nermit, listen, can you do us a favor? Just go to sleep and try to convince yourself that that email from Bargy was a dream. Okay. Sounds good, bye. Oh wow, he hung up. This is SeaRiteIT5, credits and attributions to a commencing outro protocol. Plank Decksetter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Captain Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Barge to the Ship and Bam and the Paperboy were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Team Mom, Nermin Bundelay, and Commissioner Fuihan were played by Seth Lynn. AJ was played by Winston Knoll. Whoop was played by special guest Chrissy Shackelford. Chrissy is a performer and writer in New York City who has written for Wyatt Snacks Problem Areas on HBO and is a writer-producer for The Big Fit, premiering May 22nd on Disney+. Her face and voice will also appear as a special guest in multiple episodes. Tell your

kids or tell a stranger's kids. She's currently working as the head writer for her own Twitter account at Chrissy Sh. Check out her website, chrissyshack.com. This episode was edited by Seth Lynn, the sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Fane's Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra, with additional performance by the Chime Street Brass Quintet. Recorded at Robert Doggy Jr.'s Puppy Palace in Brooklyn, New York. Opening call narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

Video games. Video games. Video games. You like them? Maybe you wish you had more time for them. Maybe you want to know the best ones to play. Maybe you want to know what happens to Mario when he dies? In that case, you should check out TripleClick.

It's a brand new podcast about video games. A podcast about video games? But I don't have time for that. Sure you do. Once a week, Kickback as three video game experts give you everything from critical takes on the hottest new releases to scoops, interviews, and explanations about how video games work to fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love.

TripleClick is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton. Me, Jason Schreier. And me, Maddie Myers. You can find TripleClick wherever you get your podcasts and listen at MaximumFun.org. Bye. Hey, podcast fan. We have a quick favor to ask. We'd like to get a better idea of who you are and what you care about. Hey, podcast fan. We have a quick favor to ask.

We'd like to get a better idea of who you are and what you care about. So if you have a couple moments to spare, go to MaximumFun.org slash ad survey. There, we've got a short anonymous survey that won't take any more than 10 minutes to fill out. Plus, if you finish it, you'll get a 10% discount on our merch at the MaxFun store. MaxFun shows have always relied on support from our members and always will. The survey will help keep the few ads we do run relevant and interesting for you. Again, that's MaximumFun.org slash ad survey, all one word. And thanks for your help.

MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. What's the plan, Captain? Okay, it's very simple. Uh, whoop! They're just looking to perform. So the four of us are in costume

and we are... Sorry, one of my cats ran over me. I'm under a blanket. So that was very scary. That's fantastic. Okay.