Mission To Zyxx - 513: Déjà Two [ft. Jonathan Braylock]

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

The crew gets an unexpected visit from an old… friend? Pleck gets vindicated. Bargie makes five nermos. Nermut gets boxed in. Someone says “shrimp.”Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut BundaloyWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Justin BallwheatWith special guest Jonathan Braylock as TwoEdited by Alden FordSound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellTheme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Audio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.

It is a time of great unease. The crew of the Bargerian Jade have finally made it home to their beloved quadrant. But something is different. Wrong. Whack! Now, our intrepid heroes must root out the bad vibes, master the three-sided coin of freshness, and face down foes like they've never imagined on their final mission to Zix. So let me get this tree.

Yes, agent. The lizard is the leader of the galaxy. AJ, we're all still trying to figure it out. My mind's around this right now. Hey, Bargy, are you a director now, or what are you? Honestly, I don't know. I'm just checking all my voicemails.

They all got uploaded when I came back to Six. I have so many voicemails. That's almost a cycle's worth of voicemails, Bargy. Here's one for my son oh yeah mom where are you you flew into this big flaming thing and then we're calling you about your extended warranty please yeah don't listen to that one, Barchi. I think that's spam.

Who is Todd? Who isn't Todd, right? I don't think that question is out. Yeah, no, Barchi, I hear that. Who isn't Todd? I mean, listen, I could talk about Bargy's voicemails for days, but... Oh. Nermit, Nermit, what is that wrapped around your shoulders? This?

I'm not sure I always wear this. No, did you take... No, you've never worn a flowy cape before. Nermit, did you wrap a napkin around your neck? I don't know. I mean, I guess... Oh, yeah, maybe I don't wear this all the time. Sorry, you don't know?

You're saying the napkin fell there. Hey, watch it. You're dealing with the leader of the galaxy here. Do you want me to take anybody out? I guess I woke up and decided to dress for the job I have. Nerman, listen, that's not you. Whoever that is is someone else. Don't crowd him.

You know, like, don't crowd him. He's the leader of the galaxy. Hey, hey, you know, I'm going to need security. And I don't know why I have to look at you. Nermin, we are going to figure out what is going on here. Yes. And we're going to make this right. Yeah. Excellent. And we're going to make this right. Yeah.

Nermit, mark our words. We will remove Nermit Bundeloy from power. I don't know if that's the exact thing. Bargy, we're going to get to inbox zero before this is all over. I know. How are those things? It's a message from my old agent. Bargy, Leximar Plunch here.

Where have you been? Let's do lunch. I'm not available, but I want to do lunch soon. Barge, where are you? I'm going mad. It's Todd again. It's Todd. Where have you been?

He seems nice. I don't know. Nermit, maybe in the meantime. Yes. You should change your name, you know, to avoid confusion. Tar, how dare you? Excuse me? After my name was stolen by the emperor?

Listen, guys. We'll get to the bottom of this at some point. Okay. I think we need to seek out, you know, some people that we know. We need to figure out what the deal is in this galaxy. Yeah, we need to figure out what's happened, what we're up against. The vibes are bad. Yeah, we know the vibes are bad.

We know the vibes are bad, okay? That's like saying we all like shrimp. I like shrimp. Everybody loves shrimp. I once dated a shrimp. What was that? What? Oh, did someone say shrimp?

Oh. Two? Two? What? Let's just get something straight right off the bat. You all know exactly who I was. I don't care how many adventures you've been on since the last time you saw me. You will not forget.

Two, I could never forget you. You tasked me with saving the entire Tellurian species. Yeah. You made me smart. You made me stupid. You made me super old for a second. You put me on top of a huge obelisk that I had to carve into a reflective parabola to destroy an approaching asteroid? See, I'm just remembering a lot of, like, shrimp-related stuff.

Yeah, what was the shrimp cocktail? There was a whole shrimp thing. Last time he arrived and said the exact same thing. Did someone say shrimp? Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Who is this guy? My name is Two. I am a part of the singularity.

We are beings that have so much power your tiny little brain couldn't possibly comprehend. All you need to know is that when I am here, you do as I say. From personal experience, I can confirm that's true. Or what, I guess is my, like, I'll do as you say. He removed Plex's arms and legs temporarily.

And put them on Pina. Yeah, it was upsetting. Maybe something like this? Oh! It's smoking. That's right. The ventilation is not great here. You should not, you shouldn't do those things.

What do you do? AJ, two is one of the most powerful beings we've ever interacted with. Yeah, AJ. He can change reality at will. He puts entire species through rigorous tests to make sure they deserve to exist in the universe. That's right. AJ, if Plek had failed his test, the entire Tellurian race would have been eradicated from the universe. Wow, it totally feels like something he would have

failed, though, right? Yeah, honestly, it's kind of amazing. Against all odds, I succeeded. I need all of you to follow me into the other room. Okay. He just magically transported himself to the ship. Can you believe that? Well, he transported

himself into the closet and then sort of busted out of the closet. Sort of more dramatic last time. Oh, actually, before you enter this room, just give me like five minutes. Give him five minutes? Does this magic take like five minutes? Wait, wait, wait. You need us to give you five minutes? Yeah, I just need you to give me five minutes.

I have a phone call to make to other people in the singularity. Surely the singularity communicates outside of our perception of time and space. Well, I was using the term phone call for all of you to comment. Okay. All right. If you're calling Todd, just tell him Bargey's not interested. I'm not interested. Yeah, he's calling time. Yeah. Think about what

mind-bending, reality-altering shenanigans he's pulling in there. I was more curious if one of us hadn't said shrimp, how long would he

have been in the storage room for? Yeah, but the other question is, why is he still harping on the shrimp thing? What is he with

the shrimp? What are we talking about What's the deal with the shrimp? What are you guys even talking about? What was it about the shrimp? Just to be clear, was the first time he visited, was he like kind of just kind of come out of the closet? No, he just kind of appeared and disappeared. He had a cloak that looked like a star field. Yeah, also, what happened to his cloak? It looks just like a regular cloak that you get get at, like, a second-hand store.

Okay, a lot of dissing cloaks. Two. Wow. Also, did the droid let you splash? What? No. I have your tests ready. Oh, okay.

Wait, so we just test? What's the deal? AJ, you've got to keep up just a little bit. I mean, this is like a lot. AJ, all you need to know is that you cannot cross two. He will ruin your entire life. I asked you to come into the room.

Yes, yes, come on. You want me to get my fingers? No, no, no. Two, we don't. We're coming in. Oh, wow, look at all these pulleys. Okay, yeah, a lot of cranks here. If you are able to get this marble to the end of that maze,

I will let this entire ship live. But if you don't... You heard me, Pardee. If you don't, I will incinerate you and all of the entities that live inside of it oh Darcy's picking up the marble is that legal too

can they just pick up the marble and put it over there alright okay everybody out everybody out okay okay he's gonna stab his fingers All right. Okay, everybody out. Everybody out. Yeah, I need to know. Okay. You nailed it. Yeah, wow.

Okay, ready now. I mean, he's going to snap his fingers. We've got to go. Yeah, okay. At the risk of bringing your scorn upon us, what is happening? What are you testing us for? Anything you need, we'll do it. I just want to know what's happening.

Something has happened to this galaxy. The galaxy that I manage. Thanks to all of you, the vibes are off. Okay? Wait, it's our fault? If you don't complete these tasks, I will know that you are not ready to restore this galaxy to its rightful place. And your punishment will be death. Oh, hold on.

Is this a cell? Is this a cell phone? It's like an old football. Richard. Richard, you're 20 minutes late for your shift. Oh, yeah, I'm a sick, you know, I won't be in for the next couple of days. Hey, Smokalcakes are going to make themselves rich. Well, you don't want me in there. I'll get, you know, I'll get everybody sick. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah, it's really bad.

I got it, I don't know, from a Pelorian. Wow. Oh, boy, a Pelorian? Ugh, been there. Take all the time you need. All right. from uh some pelorian wow oh boy a pelorian ugh been there take all the time you need

alright uh thank you uh bye now two I don't

presume to know the goings on of the singularity but that was surely you faking sick from some sort of job

some sort of job yeah that was a test for that person. I run multiple tests at once now. I have elevated. We heard every single part of it. That guy sounded mad that you were late for work.

Aren't you at work now? You're in the similarity. There's a lot of complications to this. You know, he thinks that I'm working. It's a long play. Okay? It's a long play. Okay, and the long play is... I don't have my powers. Okay, that explains a lot.

My powers are gone. Then how did you appear in that closet and then break out of the closet when we talked about shrimp? I was a stowaway. You were on the ship the whole time? Yes, I saw you at the ship's top, and I snuck on board. I just thought that... I need your help, okay? Whoa.

Really? Also, he was like, hey, if I pay you five Nermos, can I just hang out inside you? And I was like, yeah, whatever. Barchi, you knew he paid you to get on the ship and you didn't mention that? Nobody asked. I mean, that seems like... Can we ever ask if there are stowaways who paid you? Yeah.

Does that mean... Should we just be asking all the time if there are stowaways? Yeah, there's currently three stowaways. Three? Three? Who else? Well, there's two and then two. This is a real math problem.

Yeah, exactly. Is it two and one? Two plus two is three. But there's three? In this case. No, but two plus two is. Oh, my. I mean, I don't have my powers anymore But this is a sad crew

Why did I hitch my lot to you all? Yeah, suddenly the shoe is on the other foot Isn't it, too? Wait, so what I want to know is How'd you make that marble thing? I think he sort of built this In the few minutes that we were hanging out outside I'm actually really good with my hands

Yeah, no, it's actually pretty good. Thank you. I'm trying to get another job. It's a long story, okay? I've had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do without my powers. You guys don't understand how many people want to kill you when you've put them in life and death situation

and then have erased, you know, entire species of life force. Yeah, I guess there are probably a lot of people that have... Yeah, wait. Two, I never thought to ask this of you, but I know Tellurians survive. How many races did you eliminate? Let's see. Oh, this is already much higher than I...

There were Zactoids. There were the Lakmas, which, I mean, they were made out of lava. They just moved around on this planet. That sounds cool. They formed into rocks. That sounds honestly super rad. Yeah, but they never did anything. And, you know, just...

In the singularity, we're very much about production. You know, you got to keep it up. You know, you gotta keep it up. You gotta keep up the evolution, and if you don't... Wow. That snapping is me erasing the loveliness from existence. How did you lose your powers? Oh, how did I lose my powers? What a great question.

I was reading so close to Plek. Yeah. Hey, you.k. Yeah. Hey, you. Yeah. Yeah. You were supposed to save the galaxy. Yeah. I know.

I know that. Really? What? Yeah. Yes. Dart, haven't you been paying attention? That's been true this whole time. I mean, I've heard it a couple of times.

I just never thought anyone but you believed that. Well, I mean, Glenn kind of like, he'd be nice if he did. Wow. My own noob. My own noob. I mean, I think we're all back or not. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So, okay. Just show of hands, who thought that I was maybe going to save the galaxy? Who thought it would even be a remote possibility? Oh, wow. Me and two. Only people raising their hands. Thank you so much.

One of the other stowaways is also. Well, show yourself. You know, I just feel like I thought it was bad. I didn't think it was this bad. You know? Well, to be clear, I also didn't think you were going to save the galaxy. But, you know, Beino really tasked me to— Wait, Bino?

Bino was the one who told you to test us? Wait, was that not revealed to you at some point? Or if you ever really got a lot of information from Bino— Bino is the key to the entire singularity. Yeah, Bino pitched out as one of the episodes of Bino and Bungie, but I didn't really understand it. You have been disrespecting Bino this entire time I let him down. We all loved Bino. He saved our lives several times, and we would have done anything for him, but...

Oh, Bino is... Why is Bino not here? Hmm? Why is Bino not here? several times and we would have done anything for him, but. Oh, he was. And why, why is, why is Bino not here? Hmm. Why is Bino not here? He was, he was inside the all weed. He was,

he was the all weed. He, he turned into this huge muscular, uh, very sexy. I mean, yeah, it's true for hot,

hot bean. And he saved us. He's the reason we got transported to another galaxy. And you came back without him. I don't know that we left with him. You know, like it was hard to say what happened in the aftermath of the all. He's always been in our hearts. OK, yeah, certainly. It's always been here. I'm going to kill you in our hearts. Okay. Yeah, certainly.

It's always been in your heart. I'm going to kill you. Get over here. Just jump in. Just jump in. Stop. Now it's me. Stop punching him in the shoulder so hard.

Oh, if I could only snap my... Stop snapping yourself. Stop snapping yourself. Hey, Jason, come on. What? He doesn't have powers anymore. What am I supposed to do? Just because he doesn't have powers doesn't mean I'm being mean to him.

AJ, look. Look what you did. You feel good about that, AJ? You feel good about that? What are you guys yelling about? Hey, Justin. Hey, Justin. What did I miss?

Everyone, keep it down. I'm trying to sleep. Trying to what? Trying to what? I'm trying to sleep. That's probably the best, Justin. Wait, what is he trying to do? Sleep?

I assume it's sleep, but it's... Justin, very generous. Justin, it's like 1.30 in the afternoon. What were you doing? See you later, too. Oh, see you, Justin. Wait, hold on. Hey, it's like 1.30 in the afternoon. What were you doing? See you later, too. Oh, see you, Justin. Wait, hold on. Hey, wait a minute.

What? How do you two know each other? What are you talking about? I know everybody in this galaxy. How? But how does he know you? I have friends, Blake. Wow.

You're so good. Go back to back. To where? To slip? And I ask you, in the end, isn't embezzlement just another word for love? Wow. Who would object to that? The defense rests for this part. Okay, we're going to commercial in five, four, three...

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Yes, sir. Okay, you're good. Thank you. We are back from halftime, ladies and gentlemen. Here on Pump Up the Justice, our last illegal prison. I have a question, or just kind of more of a comment. It's not really a question, it's more of a comment.

So, the fact that you're in charge of the galaxy, and now that you have no power, that is bad, right? I wouldn't say it's bad. I mean, I'm excited. Not you. You wouldn't say it's bad. Nervin, it is bad. What are you talking about? You want the random chaos of the galaxy to be the law of the land?

Oh, he's asleep. Yeah, don't turn him. Hold him upside down. Sorry, I'll just put him in there. Listen, okay, if chaos rules, all of this is going to go away. All right. Wait, what do you mean chaos? Listen, a singularity's job is to maintain order in the galaxy, all right?

The universe is a dumb, chaotic place, and if we didn't do this job, none of you would even be here, okay? We take care of temporal anomalies, rogue species, time shifts, time warps, okay? What about nosebleeds? Because I get nosebleeds when we do time stuff. AJ, I don't think that's what he's talking about. Okay. AJ, I think 2 is saying that without his powers, nefarious forces might disrupt our reality without any repercussions. Exactly.

Good nap. Welcome back, Nermit. Thank you. Were you slapping? I was a slap. Okay, so you're saying it was Papa's fault that you lost your powers. Okay. Understandable.

All right. But when did this happen? When the all-weed exploded. Okay. And I know that when that happened, we lost Beano. Wow. You let him die? And I lost my powers.

Hasn't he died like a bunch, though? Well, it's hard to say. This death maybe felt a little more deathy. You see that? No energy happening there. All the energy is sound. You have been snapping a lot.

It's just... We believe that your powers are gone man okay well i used to snap all the time and it yeah that doesn't do anything yeah that's true it just turns on my lights and turns them off yeah yeah i've been i was gonna say can we just at least yeah bargy is that a function you could turn off because it's been this has been a rough afternoon and look you want to know what kind of shit goes down when a member of the Singularity isn't around to keep things in order, huh? Check this out. It's like I always say, back on the cliffs of Philem,

we didn't have anyone to look out for you. I mean, apart from my parents who are visible in the distance in their gated community, that's changed now under my reign. Reign? That seems strong. Maybe my first of many terms. Not that I will set that down. I mean, if I... Hey, we're good anyway.

Wow. Yep, that's Nermid alright. There's two Nermid Bundaloys now, okay? So you're saying his existence is some kind of paradox? I don't know. One of them is not supposed to be here. In order to restore balance, you need to kill the wrong Nermit Bundaloy. What?

Okay. Kill the right one. Wait, what? How do we know which one is the wrong one? Well, no, because it feels wrong. I would kill both of them myself, just to be sure. Wow. Okay.

All right. That seems... It's not logical. Barge. Barge. Two. I don't know about this. You'll know when I get my powers back, okay?

I mean, we could kill this one right now, and if I get my powers back, you'll know. I don't think that. No. All right. Well, okay. Yeah. I mean, it's probably the one that's, you know, the leader of the galaxy. That seems more likely. It could be. It's, you know, the leader of the galaxy. That seems more like it.

It could be. It seems like this one. All right. You sure you don't want to kill this one? Because we could do that. I'm voting for everyone. I mean, you don't get a vote. This guy doesn't get a vote.

That kind of sounds like... Yeah, that sounds like something the wrong Nermet Bundler would say to sort of save his own skin. Well, no, but so would the right one. Yeah, good point. You got to try harder, buddy. I would say to sort of save his own skin. That's evil to me. Well, no, but so would the right one. Yeah, good point. You got to try harder, buddy. We all know that this Nermit is not the evil one. Right, buddy?

Thank you. But in the meantime, we will have to imprison you until we know for sure. We can't take any chances, but yeah. Yeah, sorry. We're going to put you in this shipping container here. We'll put your mission in there. You can assign us missions from there. You'll just call in to us on the bridge.

Put him in Justin's room. Put him in Justin's room. Please, please, please, please, please, please. He needs a little responsibility. So nice, you guys. Thank you so much. You know, Justin, having alert is a big responsibility Justin I I don't tell anybody

But I won the election Have fun Have fun in there See and now I'm less confident That he's not the evil one you know Mr. Trimamp Quick question from me You say Beano gave you your powers you know? Mr. Trittman, quick question from me, AJ.

You say Beano gave you your powers but he's a bean so... What? How do you not understand yet? Beano is the source. Okay? The source? Beano is the source of the singularity. Well, was the source, right?

Was the source. Okay, that's AJ. Wow, AJ. What? I'm just saying, if we're gonna... That's pretty insensitive. If I could snap my fingers,

I freaking would. Well, you can, right? Technically, you can still snap the fingers. You know what I meant. Yeah, yeah. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, but that dove was pretty cool. That dove sort of just came out of your sleeve. Yeah, I feel like I had to pick up some magic tricks when I lost my powers. Just in case some people came around and tried to mess with me, you know. Or wanted to book you for a birthday party. You found magic tricks would end the altercation? Yes. You know, sometimes when you pull a card out of a lemon, people freak out.

Wait. I love magic. Wait, hold on. You can pull a card out of a lemon, man? Oh, hold on one second. Just that. Hey, AJ, not just this. All right.

Let him do it. Let him do it. Let me just shuffle these cards. All right. Okay. Yes. You see this? Uh-huh.

Pick a card. Any card. Which one should I pick, you guys? AJ, it doesn't matter. Which one should I pick? Okay, I'll pick this one. I'll pick this one. All right, good.

It's the nine of jewels. Just shuffle them in here. Oh, could you hold this lemon for me? Thank you. All right. Okay. Just get it. Oh, let me have that lemon back.

All right. Oh, here we go. Okay. All right. Does anybody have a knife? It's okay. I have one. Oh! Pulled it out of nowhere. Wow, guess who?

Lemon. Alright. I think we all saw that, Barge. You see? That was my card! Wow. Whoa! Yeah. I feel like when I've seen that trick in the past, there was some

context that gave sort of a reason for the lemon to be there but you just kind of produced the lemon there's a little bit of narrative that goes with magic why are you giving us such a hard time Bargy that's it that's what's part of the trick

you're all done you're all done with your little talk okay because the universe is going to shit all right okay it's absolute chaos in this galaxy and i don't even know what's happening anymore because i don't have my powers yeah you need to fix it because if you can't no one can wow okay hey uh can i ask you all a question sure yeah you said you were in a another galaxy yeah yeah was there uh was there somebody from the singularity there huh yeah there there wasn't any i we didn't meet anybody from the singularity. You're the only person from the singularity we've ever met. There were a lot of single people in audience. That's true.

There were a lot of single people kind of ready to mingle. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on. So you're saying if the singularity, if the person in the them galaxy. Wow, Plank, you're really not getting this here Let me explain to you Pretty simply No, no, Plek

I just It would really be a lot faster If I just said it myself Yeah Okay Plek, maybe it's a slug Okay When Beano disappeared

Every member of the singularity Lost their powers Including There you go The singularity member From the Them galaxy This is bad It's worse than we thought

You're not Just tasked to save The galaxy, Plek ago. The singularity member from the Thim galaxy. This is bad. It's worse than we thought. You're not just tasked to save the galaxy, Plek. You're tasked to save the universe. What? It's true. The Zimas. The prophecy. All of it. It's all true. Yeah, great. Thank you, AJ.

Look, there has to be a balance between good and evil. The good was supposed to be you, Plek, and yet you couldn't do it. I still could. I'm back. I'm here now. I'm back now. Two, maybe Plek's prophecy hasn't actually been fulfilled yet. There may still be time. That is true. But how? Without Beano, what can I do?

This is the easiest way I can explain it. Beano exists outside of time and space, okay? Okay. If he's not here, there is no balance. And if there's no balance, there is no Beano. So if you fix one, you fix the other. You see what I'm saying? I guess I just

don't know how... Well, picture scales, okay? You know what scales are, don't you, Plek? Like on a lizard or musical scales? No, I'm talking about a balance of scales. Wow, a third one I hadn't even considered. Okay. Wow. Okay, one I hadn't even considered. Okay. Wow.

Okay, now I'm now I'm traveling space with him? Yeah, it's a challenge. Okay, so if the scale is out of balance, you have to put a little bit of weight on one to balance out the other. So if you

save the galaxy, you save Beano. And if you save the galaxy, you save Beano. And if you save Beano, you save the galaxy. See what I'm saying? I do not understand what you're saying. Oh, my. I guess I just don't know how Beano... But Beano knows. Beano knows.

And that's all that matters. Oh. Okay. Thank you. Okay, well, AJ gets it, so I guess... Oh,'s all that matters. Oh, okay. Thank you. Okay, well, AJ gets it, so I guess... Yeah, I got it now. Okay, great. So you could just explain it to him at a later point.

Great, please don't. B-no-no? Do you not know what it is? Yes. Yeah. So can we do that? Let's do it. Just point me in the direction.

Okay, I don't think... Yeah, AJ. I don't think a blaster... I don't know. Okay. Show me in the direction. Okay, I don't think a blaster. Okay. I'm starting to like this guy. He's definitely gung-ho. He grows on you. We didn't think we were going to like him kind of everybody. I really didn't like him

when I first got here. I didn't like his face. I didn't like the questions you were asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Hold on one second. Hold on. Hold on one second. Hello? Hey, Phil.

Yeah, hey, Phil. What? Why are you calling me? If you bring back middle school. Okay, yeah, okay. Bye, Phil. You have a roommate? Yeah, yeah, okay. I can't afford my own room i've never had to make money before i don't even understand this concept it's so barbaric you know too it seems like losing your powers has really tested you damn it you're right you got me and I don't

like how it feels I mean tell that to the species you eradicated because oh I can't they're all gone they're not here anymore yeah it's from reality right not just killed but they never exist that's right you keep saying we have to like bring balance back to the galaxy

in order for you to get back your powers isn't the real reward like bring balance back to the galaxy in order for you to get back your powers that's right isn't the real reward just bringing balance back to the galaxy and finding bino i mean like isn't you getting your powers back kind of like a bonus like wouldn't good winning over evil being kind of like the best thing to happen yeah you gotta appreciate his perspective but i've also just kind of seen it from our perspective happen. Yeah, but AJ, you gotta appreciate his perspective. No, I've seen it from his perspective, but I've also just kind of seen it from our perspective where it's like, isn't bringing balance kind of the big mission?

Um, AJ, pick a card. Yes. Okay, which one should I pick, you guys? AJ, it doesn't matter which card you pick. It does sort of matter because I want it to be the one that he picks, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's gotta be the one that he picks. It's gotta be I mean? Yeah, it's got to be the one that he picks.

It's got to be the one he picks. Well, we don't know that. We don't know that. It depends on me. Okay. I want to pick. Somebody tell me to stop. AJ, we all want you to stop.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Pick this one. All right. Okay. And just look over there.

Okay. All right. Now look in your pocket. Are you telling me to look over there. Okay. All right, now look in your pocket. Telling me to look over there? Okay. Look in your pocket? Yeah, you got to work on your pattern. The card was in here.

It was in your pocket the whole time. That's crazy. It wasn't in my pocket, but then I looked away. Crazy that the magic happened when I looked away. That's the craziest part. Wow, this was way too easy. Are you sure you don't have your powers? Are you sure?

Oh, okay. I'll get those. Don't worry. You don't even have to think about it. I'll get them. You just snapped it through the hole in the ground. Yeah. I think that was a mistake.

I'll get them. Oh, fire. You know when we keep talking about being the galactic leader, Yeah, I think that was a mistake. I'll get him money. I am worried about Justin. I think Justin might be a little level depressed because it's like mid-afternoon and he's in bed. Yeah, he's sleeping. Well, he's a teenager. I think it's teenagers' bodies. I don't like my new pet.

My new pet sucks. I miss my parents. I think it's teenagers' bodies are weird. I don't like my new pet. My new pet sucks. I miss my parents, and I miss Saturian. If the bar is replacing your parents, no pet is gonna be enough. Yeah, especially if the pet is German. I think that's asking too much of me. Hey, two,

I don't know you very well, man. Yeah. But I wanna promise you this. We will get your powers Yeah. But I want to promise you this. We will get your powers back. But before that, we will go get you some milk for your roommate. Oh, really? Yeah. That would be really nice.

I mean, I don't want to make a mistake. Could you also give me a ride? I don't want to promise that. Could you also give me a ride back? Yeah. We can drop you off and get you milk. Yeah. Milk first, then saving the universe. Yeah.

Which this time definitely will do right, you know, somehow. Yeah. Thank you, Darn. Okay. I would normally demand to come with you, but I do think one of you might die in the process of this, and I don't want that to be me, so I don't want to be on this ship. Yeah okay fair enough and one last thing

word of advice don't trust each other always don't trust tell me something I don't know does that mean never trust each other or don't always trust each other

Plek don't know. Does that mean never trust each other or don't always trust each other? Plek, don't trust each other. Always. Toodaloo. That's more confusing. We just kind of crashed into a bunch of boxes. Two, you okay back there? Yeah, it's just great. I like it.

It just looked like you hit your head pretty hard on the side of the... No, no, no. It was a really cool entrance and an exit, so... Okay. Do you still want us to get the milk or what? Yeah, please, if you can just get the milk. I'm going to take a little nap. If you hit it that hard, you probably shouldn't go to sleep because there's a concussion risk.

It'll be fine. Just give me some napkins and... Napkins? That doesn't sound like enough. Here, why don't you take this? Ah, that's my cloak! I mean, it's a napkin, right? Well, it was my cloak.

Before that was a napkin, and then it was a napkin again. And to napkin-ness it returns. What's going on, Yellow Trooper? You've hardly touched your triple mocha frappuccino latte. You'll need lots of energy to operate the tortoise left arm if that monster ever comes back. I've been thinking, Blue Trooper. The monster was made out of ill-fitting jackets, out-of-style jeans, and old worn-out sneakers. What could it mean? The monster's stupid and it sucks. That's what it means, bro. But what if, somehow, the monster reflected something we've been struggling with in our daily lives? Maybe it's time for the torto Troopers to get a style upgrade.

But between keeping the planet safe from magical growing monsters and keeping up with our schoolwork, how will we ever find the time? Well, I've been doing some research, and it appears that there's a store that is somehow personalized to our sizes and styles. Impossible, bro. Not if my calculations are correct. It's called Stitch Fix Freestyle, a shop built just for you and also the rest of the Torto Troopers and also everyone else. I'm too attractive to understand you. Stitch Fix Freestyle is your trusted style destination where you can discover and instantly buy curated items based on your style, likes, and lifestyle. Like how I wear exclusively muscle tees and animal print board shorts.

You wear overalls for some reason. And the great trooper wears a button down Oxford and sensible slacks. Indeed. Whether you're looking for a brand you love or to try a new one at Stitch Fix Freestyle, you can shop hundreds of brands personalized to your size and fit. Finally, a company that gets me a popular, muscular, smoking hot male in the prime of my life. Try Stitch Fix Freestyle today by filling out your style quiz at stitchfix.com slash six. Trevin. Order for Trevin. God, what is my real name when I'm wearing my helmet, barista?

Rod. Sorry. Stitchfix.com slash six. Slash Z! Hello? Wow, this is your apartment. Yeah, yeah, this is where I live. This is where... This is where I live. This is where... This is where I live. Dude, you need to see a doctor.

I think you... You hit your head pretty hard. What? Nah, nah. I'm, uh... I'm okay. Uh-oh. Dude, I really... Phil!

Phil, I got the milk Oh okay Just leave it in the fridge Yeah no duh Phil Classic milk location I don't drink that I'm lactose intolerant Wait

Phil if you're lactose intolerant Why are you asking for milk? That's a fair question Yeah What is wrong with you? Who are these guys? These are the people that are going to save the galaxy. We thought we agreed if we were going to have people over,

we'd let each other know right ahead of time. Okay. Yeah, we're not coming in. Yeah, we're just dropping off, too. Listen, too, thank you for giving us another chance. I guess. We're going to make things right. I believe in you, Plek. Also, Phil, if I want to have people over, I guess. We're going to make things right. I believe in you, Plek. Also, Phil, if I want to have people over, I can, okay?

I don't like how much you control our shared space. Close the door and... No, no, no, no, no, no. I want you all to hear this. Okay, all right. Oh, your name is on the lease. Okay, here we go again. You know what, Bill?

If I had my powers, I would snap you out of existence. Whatever, I invited my friend over. This is Todd. He broke his own rule. I'm the one who asked for the milk. I'm losing my mind. I need the nutrients from the milk. Is that the same Todd?

Sounds like it from the voicemail. Marty! Yep, it's him. That's him. Didn't have to worry hardly at all. I'm drinking all this milk because I love you so much, Marty! Okay, time to go. What does that have to do with anything?

You know if you understood our love, fella. I really need my powers back This is SeaRaid IT5. Credits and attributions joined commencing outro protocol. Plek DexCenter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 and Todd were played by Jeremy Bent. Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bartry the Ship, Justin Ballwee, and Phil the Roommate were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Narebundaloy was played by Seth Lynn.

EJ and Lex Mark Wench were played by Winston Knoll. Two was played by special guest Jonathan Braylock. Jonathan is a co-creator of the sketch comedy show Astronomy Club on Netflix and co-host of the podcast Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood. Follow him on Twitter at John Braylock. This episode was edited by Alden Ford with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Fames Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Orchestra mixing by Danny Keith Taylor. Opening chronoration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design by Bargerian J by Eric Goice. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Hi, it's me, Dave Hill from before. member of the Maximum Fun Network. program from the future. If you like delightful conversation with incredible guests, technical difficulties, and actual phone calls from real life listeners, you've just hit a street called easy. I'm also joined by my incredible co-host, the boy criminal, Chris Gersbeck. Say hi, Chris.

Hey, Dave. It's really great. That's enough, Chris. And New Jersey chicken rancher, Des. Say hi, Des. Hey, Dave. The Dave Hill Good Time Hour. Brand new episodes every Friday on Maximum Fun. Plus, the show's not even an hour. It's 90 minutes. Take that, stupid rules. We nailed it. Hi, I'm Biz. And I'm Teresa.

And we're the hosts of One Bad Mother, a podcast about parenting. Parenting is hard, and we have no advice. But we do see you doing it. Honk if you like to do it. Didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was like honk if you did it. That's what it was. I think it was honk if you're doing it. Why did we not ever make them? We did make them. I think they're still in the MaxFun store. Honk, honk. You're doing it. Thanks, Viz. So are you. Each week, we'll be here to remind you that you're doing a good job. You can find us on MaximumFun.org. Honk, honk. Toot, toot.

MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. That's not you. Whoever that is, is someone else posing as you or a shadow version of you, a mirror universe version. Well, we're going to have to get them out of there then because I won the election. I think whatever put anti-you in that position. A write-in vote. Yeah, okay, great.

But it was some sort of machinations that are not okay. We need to fix it. Plek, are you against democracy? Are you saying that we should overturn the election, Plek? No. Oh, yikes. No, I'm just saying it was stolen. That's something that you want to really commit to? We're all going to have to quit now.

This is over. This is a little awkward. This is getting too political. I'm not getting the vaccine, everybody. Too political. Good stuff. Pick up from... Nermit.