Mission To Zyxx - 520: The Whole Mufalata [Series Finale, Part I]

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

The crew finally arrives at Mufalata Secundus for the showdown of their lives. Just one stop first. The Dars play catch up, and catch. AJ hazards a guess. Bargie gets an invite. STARRING:Jeremy BentWinston NoelAllie KokeshSeth LindMoujan ZolfaghariAlden FordShane O’ConnellFeaturing special guestsEdited by Seth LindSound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellTheme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraMusic Production and additional Music by Shane O’ConnellOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Audio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.

All right, here goes nothing. Come on, come on. C-53! Hey, Robot Man. You're okay! I am! Oh, Robotman. You're okay! I am! Oh, thank God. And I know where Beano is.

Whoa. Cody owes me an email. Yeah, okay. You know where Beano is? How? Beano's in heaven. I mean, I guess so. Is that what you mean, C-53? c53 no no that's absolutely not what i mean

also i have a couple of things i gotta work out here first off i mean i'm still around with the implications of having two dars one of whom shot me and we are both so happy to see that you're okay yeah no this is a huge relief. Yeah, so we were going to call this Dar with the goatee Evil Dar, but then Evil Dar ended up being, like, okay, and so now we're just kind of like, what are we calling him? Dar Zero? Diet Dar? Yeah, we're still working on that. I've just been calling them both Dar, and that's confusing to everyone.

Nermit's been having a great time. A lot of conflicting feelings. Yeah, a lot of emotions from Nermit over here. We're time. A lot of conflicting feelings. Yeah, a lot of emotions. I don't know. From Nermit over here. We're all dealing with those. We're all just talking. So, yeah, it's evil Dar until we have something better. Uh, second

question. Where did you get this frame? Oh. You like it? Yeah, what do you think? Yeah, I love it. This is one of the rarest rock frames in existence. How did you get the country gentleman? I've had it forever. It was left on me by a famous actor.

Jermaine Ba-ba-bop, Ba-bop, Ba-da-bop-bop. Yeah, that was his last name. My parents' favorite actor. Wait, tell me his name again. Jermaine. Music to my... Archie, you know, we went to another galaxy, and I was in a toaster. Yeah.

Okay? They forced me into a her-man frame. Yeah. I was a bug. You didn't tell me this whole time? Yeah, because the country gentleman was left here on purpose. Nobody wanted it. The eyes are too

intense. Oh, disagree. These are amazing. Smolder. You know, C-53, when you mentioned the country gentleman a while back, I sort of pictured like a white seersucker suit or something, but this is more like... He's like the squire of a country man or part of a landed gentry. What?

Like out of a Jordan Austin novel or something like that. How do you know some things and also nothing? Hey, AJ, you ready? Kicking up the reading? I've been away. Oh, I got my hand stuck in my glove. Oh, that's just wearing a glove. That's what a glove is.

That is a glove? That is a glove? That's what a glove is. But AJ's right. It's got that ruffly shirt and a sort of nice little top hat. Yeah, sign me up. Does that cane retract? It does indeed. Look at that. There's a certain sort of gymnasial kind of,

I don't know, jauntiness to it that I kind of appreciate. Allow me to use the proprietary country gentleman voice filter. Only available on the country gentleman voice filter. Is this what you're liking? Ooh. Oh, yeah.

What an esteemed bachelor you've become, C-53. Oh, my. Nipsey's normal voice. Wait, hold on. C-53, I'm glad you're in a frame again. I'm glad you're back to being a droid. Did you say you know where Beano is? Okay, so you all know about the sea, Captain?

Not nearly as much as we want to. Okay, well, I do know of the sea, Captain. Okay, I sort of have time to get into the full thing if we want to get to Beano before Corbeil vortices. Sorry to interrupt. I'm going to pop in here with a quick cue. Yes, yes. The Dar in the back. What's a Beano again?

Evil Dar. Just Do you not even know about Beano? Also, yeah, I've been here the entire time. Dar, you've got to catch Evil Dar up on these things. This is sort of... This is base level, Bruce.

Crew 101. Absolutely. I understand where you're all coming from, but Bargy and I have a lot to catch up on. I mean, I miss book club. Luckily, if you ask, what is a Bino, I have a clue. Let's just check the hyperdrive first. Yeah, we should double check the battery. What's your battery level?

We're fine. Now we know who's been haunting the amusement park. It's been... Old Man Chesterfield. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you rotten beans and spaceships. Give me back my rubber mask. No. He wants the rubber mask back?

I mean, the jig is up, right? Beano, don't strike me. Beano, Beano, don't. Beano, serve over. I'm adjusted. Beano is the law. I'm sorry. Beano is.

Yeah, more questions than answers. Yeah, that's understandable. Yep, that was much easier to understand than the clip. While I don't think about that day, for a number of reasons, while I was running my emergency memory recovery protocol, as my cube was being reassembled, I assumed... Yeah, you're a dick. Yeah, I mean, we, like, put blue on it, then we rinsed it out.

Carefully. Yeah. Very carefully. Thanks, I guess. Anyway, while everyone was taking such good care of my cube, I was forced to relive those moments. And it's only just occurred to me. The map was the directions to Chad's planet.

Marbina was. What? Wait, you found a map to Chad's planet? How many decades ago was this? Quite a few. Could you catch up, old Dar Dar? Just, you know, what's a chat? Where are we going?

Evil Dar, I gotta tell you. Hey, Jerry, AJ, did you make that picture book of all of our memories? Just give it to second Dar. Oh, good call, Bargy. Evil Dar, check out this huge illustrated book that AJ made that will catch you all up. You read that while we talk to C-53. book that AJ made that will catch you all up. You read that while we talk to C-53. So this is my original memory of the map that I saw back on Aquatis?

It's coordinates in a star map. Right, and those match up with where we found Dino the first time we met. Okay. But look at what I saw. We relived the memory. Okay, this looks the same. Oh, wait. There's a quote from Azima Scroll on this one. C53, why do you have two versions of this map in your memory?

An excellent question, Plek. Unless somebody's playing around with time. Uh-uh. No. AJ, just's playing around with time. Uh-uh. No. AJ, just hear him out. And who do we know who can play with time? Dame Wiggles. Okay, she's dead.

Nermit, okay. Oh, wait. Core Balevorkan would travel through time. What if it's a trap? Nermit, we're literally on our way to go probably get murdered by him. Why would he need to set a trap for us? Solid point. Well, if it's trapped, we've called it. Okay.

No, it's Beano himself. Beano, he's sending us a message. Wait, but what is the message? Look at the Zimaverse on the map. message. Look at the Zimaverse on the map. The space between what's wrong and right is where you'll find

me hiding, waiting for you. The space between wrong and right. A riddle. A riddle, Black. Of course. Yes. A riddle. Chad asks us... I hate to interrupt because this isn't in this little booklet I was given.

Is riddles like something we all do? Is this a thing? Evil Dar. Dar, can you give us just five minutes to sort of suss this out and then we'll explore? We're in the revelation stage right now, Evil Dar. Well, excuse me for trying to feel included. Wait, C-53, we can't just go to these coordinates. There's nothing there.

We saw Chad's planet destroyed by a Clint warship. Indeed. I'd be willing to bet any amount of euros that if I bring up this astrogasian chart, the planet is back. Oh, my God. There it is.! Oh my god. There it is. We have to go. We have to go find Beano. So just to be clear, we're

still not going to move a lot of succumbings. Yeah, we're gonna go! We're gonna go! You don't think we need to go get Beano first? You don't think we need to get Beano first? Whoa! Does he always turn this shade of pink when he gets upset? Yeah.

Or pinker. You haven't even seen the pinkest. The final confrontation draws inexorably closer and closer. Following a map to the Beanochron from deep within within the recesses of C53's memory banks, our intrepid crew hurtles toward their destinies with everything on the line and nothing left in the tank. Meanwhile, the whack mastermind Cor Bael, has assembled a cadre of shadowy nemeses to confront the unwitting crew.

The disgruntled Captain Cameron, a backup copy of Federated Alliance Protocol droid C-53, and a perfect clone of Nermut Bundeloy. That's probably all of them, though, right?

Now, Zemanite Plek Dexeter, Country Gentleman C-53, Captain Dar, Security Officer Dar, Super Soldier AJ-2884, Musician Nermut Bundeloy, OG crewmate Justin Ballwheat, and storied starship the Bargerian Jade head into the deadly unknown to save the galaxy and the very fabric of the universe on surely their final mission to... Final... MISSION 266! This is incredible.

This planet is completely unchanged. We've got all of these wall-less, roofed enclosures. We saw the planet explode. This is insane. It got anodized by Kratos. This is not how you described it here in this little guide. Well, I wasn't there for this one. Yeah, it took some creative liberties in the pre-AJ. Oh, wow, AJ, that's a terrible drawing.

What? That planet is a bean? I don't know. Also, why am I here? Justin, listen. If you're going to insist on being a part of the original crew, you've got to go on missions with us. That's part of the deal, buddy.

So late. All right. Well, Chad's in the same place he originally was on this planet. He should be just around this corner. I'm going to take him out. Okay, AJ. around this corner. All right, lock him up. Take him out. Okay, AJ. We have no reason to think he's going to. Oh, okay.

Who's over there going? Who is it? Hello, hello. It's us. It's Fleck Deck Setter, the crew of the Bargerian Jade, C-53, Lermont, Dar. Who, what, and the what nows?

Oh, I know what it is. Chad, there was only one Dar before. But see, we actually went back and it's hot. Listen, Chad, how do you not remember us? We're the people who answered your riddles. We got the Beanecron and we left the planet

and then you were destroyed. What? Well, we were destroyed and reconstituted as we always are. Plus, I've been here for so long, you think I remember every whatever you are and every whatever that thing is? And every whatever this is? Oh, Justin, right? How do you know Justin? We have a mutual friend.

You guys know Doug? I mean, I don't... Dogger! You guys know Doug? No. I mean, I don't. Okay. Who doesn't know Dogger? Anyhow, what are you doing here? Are you here to see the relic?

I knew it. Beano is here. Oh, my rod, C-53. He was sending us a message. Chad, yeah, we're here to get the relic again. Can we just grab it from you real quick? We'll be on our way. We won't bother you. Oh, well, first you'd have to answer my riddles, fool.

Chad, we already did. We already did that. Oh, have you? Yeah. You're the first group of people to try that one. We already answered the riddles. Just let us in. I don't think so.

All right. All right. Go ahead. Okay. Just for background, so I know how to calibrate the riddles. How old are you? Me? Yeah, you.

I'm 29. 29, okay, forget that. Now, here we go. First riddle. You are driving a spaceship. Okay. Four people get on, two people get off. An alien gets on, two aliens get off. Three aliens get on, two people get off.

How old is the driver of the spaceship? 29. Well, look who's so smart. Look at the genius! How'd you get that? AJ, no, he said he started this whole thing asking how old I was. It's just a starter riddle.

I've heard this riddle before. Oh, sure you have. A lot of people get the first one. The second one, they're crying. They're calling their moms or dads or whatever kind of family they come from. No judgments. Any hoots and hollers. Here we go. A fran-tac sits atop a roof.

Yes, no, we know, Chet. Fran-tacs don't lay eggs. What in the hell is happening? Whoa! How did you guys get it two in a row? So smart! I haven't even told you the entire... Chad, we already told you.

We told you this already. We know the answers. You guys got into my email or something? No. No. Chad! Because I only share that password with Doug and that's it. And I thought I could trust Doug.

Why would you share your email password with anyone? Is it the whole account or just the password? Sometimes he has to check my email. Look, it's a long story, and I'm happy to tell it. Chad, listen. We've heard these rules before. I can even prove it to you. What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice balance. Ooh, good question. What? That was your next rule, right? How did... Okay, Doug is gonna get Doug is gonna get a talking to AJ, relax I don't trust Doug anymore

Yeah, Justin I mean, if I were you I wouldn't trust Doug I wouldn't Ooh, oh, I don't know If any of you know this But the relic Is a slightly warm fiend

Evil Dar Evil Dar Evil Dar No, you've been talking about Beano this entire time. One and the same? Right. What do you got there? I can't believe you guys are so good at riddles.

How did I never know this? AJ? Are there any more? Is this it? There's another. There's one more? You want to take this one, AJ? Okay.

Okay. Go for it, AJ. Okay, AJ. This bad boy, AJ? Okay. Okay. Go for it, AJ. Okay, AJ. This bad boy is unsolvable. Okay. A Tellurian goes to a restaurant, okay? Don't forget that part. It's important.

He orders a garfon sandwich, right? The chef brings by a garfon sandwich, okay? The Tellurian takes one bite, okay? Runs outside, jumps into infinite space, thereby killing himself. Why? Because he realized he had eaten his friend. Rob, damn it! AJ! How did you know that?

Oh, well, once I'm on a strike team. I don't want to. No, AJ, you know what? Don't actually. This actually happened to you? Yeah. Who hasn't it happened to? Start with a pinky. See what happens. All right.

Well, you've answered my riddles. What happens next? Now we go get Beano and we're on our way. If that's acceptable to you, Chad. Well, no. I mean, I've set up the criteria. You've met them. I feel obliged to allow you to do it, even though it's clear you've cheated in some way.

But is answering the same set of riddles again cheating? Here's a question for you. Is your mom answering the same set of riddles cheating? Leave you with that. Yes. You perked. All right. Yeah, so I'll just slide past you here and grab the old bean. leave you with that. Yes! You burnt! Alright. Yeah, so I'll just

slide past you here and grab the old bean, I guess. Well, I have no choice but to allow you back. How do you know the relic is a bean? Listen,

do you want to be part of the riddle? Listen, Chad, I know that you don't remember any of our interaction, but us finding the Bean-a-cron was sort of the most important thing that we've ever done. It sort of became the basis of a lot of the rest of our adventures.

Oh, he doesn't care. He just walked off. Yeah, he just walked away. Hey, Doug. Oh, whoa, what the fuck? All right, let's go. I just walked away. Hey, Doug. Oh, whoa. What the fuck? All right, let's go. I just met these really weird people.

Oh, and Justin was there. You know Justin? Of course, everybody knows Justin. What's going on with the email, man? I know that's really... Doug. No. Don't pretend you're going through a tunnel, Doug. I know you're not.

Why are you... Are you sharing my email? God damn it. God damn it. God damn it. Oops, I tripped. Thank you. Wait, Bino was on this counter. Where's the box? Where's Bino? It's in my room!

What? Justin Justin can you bring Bino out here Justin could you please get the box and bring it back out here but I'm literally like under him why can't I just give this as a gift it's an all powerful deity Justin also Justin this thing is

ancient one of the things my eye can do is carbon dating and this box is ancient. One of the things my eye can do is carbon dating, and this box is looks like about 30,000 years old. Is that right? Whoa. Oh, hold on a second. I've got an ad. I've got to close. It's for Beanbox. Oh, yeah. It's a monthly

box subscription. Yeah, let me just close it. What does it say on the side here? It's writing. Well, this is old. It's my deodorant. Yeah, let me just close it. The time by Rodos the Sunlighter. The Jack is Rodos the Sunlighter. No, I'm sorry. That wasn't it. Rodos the Sunlighter.

Glory to those that bathe within his sacred light. Glory to those that fall within the cursed shadows outside of his divine radiance. Wow, long inscription. That goes all the way over on the other side. Yeah, it goes all the way on the other side of the box. So wait, this is the first time you guys have seen this, even though you've had it before? I just went in and picked up the book last time.

I wasn't paying that much attention to the box. So it's a retinal confirmation? I suppose it is. The writing of the box is a retcon? Now it is. Got it. Hey, hey, why are we all just talking around, okay? We've been doing it for five years.

Talking around? All you do is yap, yap, yippity-yop. We go on missions. In a rounded circle. But right now, there's a box, and it needs to be opened. Yet none of you are opening it. All you are doing is talking. Fair.

No, you're right. Before you can even open it. Thank you. There is a box in front of you. Good point. And you're not doing it. You're right, Bargy. doing is talking. Fair. No, you're right. Before you even open it, there is a box in front of you, and you're not doing it. You're right, Bargy. Let's open it up. You need to open the box, because Beano is in that box, and we all know Beano. We all love Beano.

Beano owes me an email. Beano, I think, is in my top ten friends to be perfectly honest with. It's real as pot kettle black. You never think you'll become friends with a bee, but I bet you... Oh, you're opening it? Yeah, it's open.

It's been open. Oh. There it is. 140-some degrees, looks like. Perfect. That doesn't look like Beano, though. Well, no, he's in his hibernative state. Wait, that's just a beard.

Well, it's a large, warm bee. It's hot, Justin. Yes. Here, I'll get a glass of water. Perfect. Hey, everyone. I kind of think I know the answer to this question, but where are the... What do you think the Dars are doing?

What's the answer to the question? No, no, no. You know what? Let's look at Vito. Go on, Go on. All right. Oh. They're just throwing a horse hat.

Wow. They're co-parenting. Much more wholesome than I thought. I will say, horse hat has been loving this much attention. Where do I get in here? We're doing the Beano thing, but I totally can catch horse hat. Guys, I can't't I actually can't

he's gonna plant I think if you plant you'll be fine that's true Barge alright in he goes alright now we wait so he turns into a demi-rod now, or? I don't know.

I think it was instantaneous. Huh. But we have the ultimate weapon now. Friendship. No. I meant to say. No, I think AJ meant Bino. Yeah.

See, Parch, that's, you know, turn torture. Yeah. Thank you, Parchie. Well, I believe friendship is a weapon you use against the enemy. All right. Okay, all right. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.

Wow. That's a lot of secondas. Never thought I'd be back on this planet. Is that fortress even closing the door? It's the first time we were here. Definitely. I can't see the top. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, it's definitely got another level of spikes. Yeah. The battle bits are a lot pointier than ever. Well, Bargy. Yeah? We'll be back soon. You know, I'll always remember this moment when all of us were here together. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well spoken, Barge. Before the big showdown. Barge, you know, I don't think we say it enough. Thank you for being here for us. Thank you for taking us everywhere we need to go. You're the reason any of this has been possible.

We'd be lost without you, Barge. Barge, you're our rock. See you, boy. Literally our ride or die, because we'd be in just cold space without you. Yep. Everyone get involved in this. Barge, I know I just joined the crew, in a way.

Yeah. But, uh... I'm just so impressed that you were able to do all this while also wearing a ball gown. Thank you. Yeah, what do you think? Wait, hold on, Barney. Why are you wearing a ball gown? Oh, my alert just went off on my cow.

You gotta get going, girl. I know, I gotta go. Anyway, have fun with this little adventure you're doing. Where are you, Barney? Send me a postcard. Have fun. What does this mean? Oh, you guys didn't sink Barney's cow?

No, what is on the cow? We had a day for you, Bargy. Huge. I mean, I got my HMU team outside doing my HMNU. Yeah, all right. Best of luck. What does HMU mean? It's Hall and Makeup, because today is the Baboscars and Bargy's bed at finance.

The Babosc Scars. It's tonight, you guys. You got nominated for a Babo Scar? No, no. I mean, I was invited. I don't know exactly why I've been invited. I mean, the last thing I did was, I guess, a small play in another...

Galaxy. Galaxy. Yep, Bungie's probably known for that. But they told me I have to come. They told me it was mandatory. And in this town, if something's mandatory, that means they're thinking about you. So I'm going. Seriously, nobody else knew this was on the cow.

I was kind of going, wow, it's crazy that we've got two big things happening at the same time. But that's what the cow is for. Bargy, if there is one time not to be cool for you to just leave right now, it's right now. Yeah. I feel like it could lead to our deaths

not having an escape. Anyway, the Bobo scars are going to be so much better to see because they're getting rid of all the

boring categories like best picture and sound design. Oh, yeah. Sound design, but I mean, like, what does that do? Anyway,

let me do a flip on a lava flow. Whoa, cool. Weird, I mean like, what does that do? Anyway, let me do a flip on a lava flow! Whoa, cool! Weird, I didn't make a sound. Usually when you do a flip it makes a noise, but that was totally silent. Anyway, sound design's for nerds. Oh, but I heard that. Gargi, does this mean we can't leave Horsehat with you while we go do this dangerous...

Oh, Horsehat's already suited up. Hey. Yeah, Horse Hat's gonna be holding my purse. Look at my tuxedo. Oh, Horse Hat. Look at my tuxedo, guys. That's incredibly cute. So cute.

That is adorable. I know. What's the good you on these tuxedos? Little tuxedo, it's so tiny. I bet I can fit into that. Well, Bargy, in case we don't get another chance. Wow. There they go.

Oh, yeah. Quite a gal. I hope you win. Bye, horse. They'll be fine. Yeah. No, I mean, they should win an award just for looking that cute. Yeah.

Well, let's head in, I guess. This place is still awesome. Look, lava crows are back. We're firing on all cylinders. This is just like badass. Let me explain the blockchain. Find my JP. Centralize everything.

Find my JP. Got rid of the people, bro. AJ, put your gun. Do not even, don't even think about it. Careful what you caught. You might get canceled. Let me go ask one. What? Oh, no, no.

Don't even think about it. So, Evil Dar, I need to understand that we all got to see Lava Crows the last time that we met Corvail. And if you try to destroy them, they only get more. Oh, you've been here. Yeah. I mean, thank you for catching me up. But obviously, Cor and I have a pre-existing relationship. Hey, gang.

Is it weird that the front doors are like wide open? No, actually, AJ, I think it's sort of understandable. I'm pretty sure Cora has sort of been assuming we would show up here at some point. You got the bead? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'm surprised you're as prepared as you seem to be. Alright. Oh, sorry. I kind of just instinctively

took your hand. Oh, no, it's fine. If you need to hold my hand, you can hold my hand. Well, gang, we finally made it. This is the end. It's the end of the road. Well, you think this is the last thing we're going to do together? For a while. Probably.

Oh, I thought you spent this road. Wow, okay. That's literally true. We might go on a trip or something at some point. Oh, okay. Okay. Crew. Yeah, Papa.

Pep talk. Pep talk. Oh, okay. Okay. Crew. Yeah, Papa. Pep talk. Pep talk time, Papa. We're about to experience wackness to a degree none of us can comprehend, okay? Keep your wits about you. Remember, we are here fighting for the fresh, okay? We are united. We are together.

I just want to say... AJ, come back. I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. Alright'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. Alright, yeah, what? We're united? I just... I love you guys. That's all I want to say,

okay? Aw, Fleck. I love you too. Oh. I mean, I knew I was about to say it, but... Already? Honestly, it just fell out, but I think I feel it. That's big. I love that. I love that about to say it, but already? Honestly, it just fell out, but I think I feel it. That's big. I love that. I love that for you.

Oh, thank you. Don't back away. AJ, don't say, as you're backing away, you're going to get your gun. Yeah, I love you too, Pop, of course. It goes without saying. I love all you guys. I love you all too,

especially C, who's pulling my second road case here. I love you all too, especially C who's pulling my second road case here. You're not going to collab with clone Nermit. It's not going to happen. Nothing can stop Art. But if you shoot your blaster, you're going to have to lock and load again. Oh, until the next time I lock and load. It's the last time you're going to lock and load until you fire it a second time? You can say that every single time.

You can say that every single time. You're getting caught up in the semantics of the lock and load. I saw you leave that case behind. We're inside the castle, so it's going to be your responsibility from here on out. Oh, C-53, I'm getting a reading in my eye that I've never seen before. What are tachyon particles? Earth. Typically a mark of time travel.

Oh, boy. Oh, fuck me. It's going to get weird. I think he took it. Black! Shit, is that Corbel War? Yes. That's right.

We got it great. Did you not sign mail at that entrance? And you're confused about whether that was me or not. I don't know. It might have been a big-ass lava crow. Felicia, everybody, he's holding the dinglehopper, okay? There's red mist swirling from his glove. The lava crow's entrance is rising.

They're leaving me. Stop. The crows go back. It's junked. It all got junked. All right, head back inside. Cor, Balevor. We're not even going to do it now,

because it's all ruined. It's all ruined. Why? We... Okay. Dick. Dick Sutter. See? It's forwarded back to the end. I see you have a nice little broomstick there. Listen, somebody stole my dinglehopper, and furthermore, it's not about the weapon, okay?

It's about what's in here. The self. You wouldn't know anything about that because your torso is cybernetic. Isn't one of your best friends a robot? Well, no, I mean, yes, obviously. Okay. Yeah, well. Can you workshop that one for a second, big guy? Okay, I mean, yes, obviously. Okay. Yeah, well. Can you workshop that one for a second, pre-guy?

Okay, I'm just... Maybe you workshop this. AJ. Wow. Collected all of those. Now, Estrella, AJ, tell me something. You seem to be a fan, That little laser gun of yours. Would you like to see true laser power?

Uh, yeah. No, AJ, don't answer that. Oh, check this out. Check this out, check this out. Whoa. Yeah, right out of my mouth. I knew he was going to do this. Duh.

You infiltrated the crew and convinced them you were their friend. Excellent work. Well, they did infiltrate. Yeah, I guess so. Although it does seem you are unable to dispatch any of them in advance. Well, they did actually shoot C-53's head off, so... Yeah, blew it up. Yeah, that almost killed him.

Oh, good. Yeah, totally on purpose. I'm so sorry again. Hopefully, missed the cube, so... Silence! Moving on! I have become so much more powerful than I have ever been. You have never beheld a wielder of the West. Such as I, all have been brought to chaos and ruin.

All of course, meaning the plan is chaos? No, no, Nermin, it's just like Two said. Without Beano, the galaxy will fall into chaos. That's exactly what's happening. Oh. Yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. How does that work? Yeah, good question, actually, Dar.

The plan that each passing moment would eclipse into an eternal heat death of the universe where each being is extruded infinitely past the event horizon. A passing moment would eclipse into an eternal heat death of the universe, where each being is extruded infinitely past the event horizon of wackitude. Oh, that kind of chaos. Okay, that's what it is. Oh, he just snapped a crow's neck. You can just drink them by popping a head off. Bobby! Barbie!

Barbie! Barbie! Barbie! What's that? This is what we call the Red Cup. It's where you see everybody else who took jobs that you were up for. Hi. Hi there.

Hello. Hello. Hi. It's me, the doodop quiz from Hollywood tonight. How you doing? I'm doing great. How are you? You know, I'm just happy to be here. I'm surprised, to be honest. Well, tell us, Ship of the Stars, what are your plans for this fabulous evening? Well, what am I going to do? I'm just going to exist. Honestly, offensive question. Bargy, pivot. Margie, pivot.

Where are you? I'm talking to a person on my phone. Oh, hi. Yes, I see. Yes, kind of. Hello. I have a question. It's more of a comment. It was reported that you were dead. Uh, I was in another galaxy, which, yes, made many people believe I'm dead. Believe me, my voicemail was filled with a lot of people saying what they wanted to say after I was dead. Who are you wearing? Who are you wearing?

I'm wearing Cheryl Bedeau's latest line from about 50 years ago. And, Barchi, tell us about the child you're here with. Who's the ingenue? Who's the ingenue? What's an ingenue? Ladies and gents and sentients and unsentients alike, this is Horse Hat to a Spin Baby. Well, well, well. Now, that's Star Hat. Can we get Horse Hat alone? Can we get Horse Hat alone?

Without Barchi? Out of the shot. I guess. It's Star Hat. Can we get horse hat alone? Can we get horse hat alone? Without Archie? Out of the shot. I guess. It's time to send him to the door. Sorry. It's time to send him to the door. I want a tie and shoes and a jacket and a bow and underpants. I have a friend.

Oh, no, not you. I'm crazy about you, Arch. Not you. Arch. All right. I love fans. I love fans. Did you hear that? She lost me. She lost me. Tease him. Tease him. Tease him again. Thank you for your support. We got a profile.

All right, enough questions. We have to go to the bookstore. Up next is comedian Sachi Barncone promoting his next film. My wife. My wife. My wife. My wife. My wife. My wife. My wife. My wife. Cor Baelvor, you may think you've won,

but we've got something you don't even know about. We've returned to Chad's planet. We've procured the Betacron. I am ruined. Truly. Yeah. I'll deal with it. the forces of fresh are going to win the day today i tell you what you possess the bean-a-cron yes which to your knowledge is the most powerful Legumacron in this room. Exactly.

Wait, sorry. Sorry, what's a Legumacron? Well, I only mean to remind you of what I'm sure you've already learned. That the Beanacron is but one part of the Bean Force. Bean Force? The Bean force. They assembled nine legumacrons of legend. Oh, okay. So, if I were to say

have already collected all eight of the remaining beam force and used horse hat's blood to activate them, then you would certainly say activate them certainly say I was more than a match for you comes forth soy betacron

cool string betacron string betacron love one dimensional particles chick betacron please call me garbanzola fava grava fava grava heart math

and energy peanutrix another peanutrix cause you get two in the same shell. No. Penetrix go insane. Other Penetrix go insane. Lenticular! Lenticular.

See everything. And be me, maybe. Maybe. Baby. Baby. You are all going to laugh. Evil Dark, what's up? I just put together that the beam force is a lot like the slightly warm beam that you all

lovingly refer to as Beano. You know about the beam force, Dar? Yes. Evil Dar! You could have told us about this. It would have been super useful to us. Should we call Evil Dar, Dump Dar? To be honest, he talks a lot about his plans, so sometimes I just tune him out.

So, well, I really under-delivered. Good, are you? You didn't do anything wrong. No, you can't be mad at one of us. You have to be mad at both of us. Is that true? The foolish Disney is flammable! Oh, yes!

Scram! Scram, can you believe this? These guys are all up here with one V-Cross! Ah! yes! Scram! Scram, can you believe this? These guys are all up here with one V-Inkron! This is my executive assistant, Scram. Scram is the reason that I was able to collect all of the 118 gems of Alimentia! By which I control the very molecular structure of the universe. 118 gems? That seems like a lot. We haven't even...

And is this different from the beam force or the same... No, the beam force controls time and space. Yes. The gems of Elementia control the elements themselves. All 118 elements. Evil Dar, you knew about this too? Dar! I know, Dar.

You gotta step up a little bit here, Dar. You said you love black. Yeah, you told me you love me. Hold on. Everybody just hold on a second. Hold on. Listen, Gorbeobor, you're not going to confuse us with a bunch of lore we haven't heard about yet.

We've got Beano, and that's what matters, okay? Beano and Freshness are on our side. Well, of course. Okay, I assume that you came here with only one member of the being force and not a single gem, because you must have all ten of the orbs of Thrakis. How many Thrakis orbs do you have? Irakis orbs? I got one here, and I got one...

No, I don't think I have... I got two orbs for you right now. First of all, Kor, I should ask you, what are the chances that we sort of accidentally have an orb of Thrakis? I mean, if you want to run back to the ship and check, maybe there's one banging around in there, but it seems like you... He left. She...

Okay. Yeah, no, she's gone. She actually got an invite to the Bobo's cars, so... Oh, good for her. They have not a single orb, master! Which of the elemental beacons of Promethea did you speak to? Oh, that can't be right. Listen, no, Gorg.

Natalie, have you never been to Promethea? I don't think we've heard of it. No, no. Yeah, beacons are people, and Promethea's not just one place. Promethea is at all six corners of the universe. Hold on. Six corners? Yes, the six corners of the universe. Wait, how many corners do you think

the universe should have? I thought it was infinite. Of course, should we go get some of that stuff and just zoom right back, or is it gonna... They think they'll be able to leave, Master! Oh, wait,

the door that we came in... Yes. Yes. The door is no more. No more. No more. Okay. What? I don't know much about orbs or Prometheus, Prometheor.

Promethea. You've convinced him you don't know. It's a six directional liminality that contains the beacons. You are, this is all, just honestly save your breath. How long have you been living in this galaxy? I mean, forget the beacons, just like even a couple of the gems that I was mentioning. I feel kind of like, I feel crazy, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Because you guys have been a huge thorn in my side, and you don't know about one orb of Dracons. I'm not going to lie. I, uh, I'm really hurt. What? I'm really hurt by what's happened to you today. I've been, uh, I've been busting my ass. Scram has been pulling 12-hour days. Oh, think nothing of it, master.

It was all worth it. No, I know you think nothing of it because you are a rise and grind motherjucker. And I get that, but you shouldn't have to do that. Yes, Scram is my best friend, and I know that's weird to say because there's an employee-employer relationship here, but truly I would be lost without Scram.

And Scram skipped a family reunion to clone and double up and grab from time loops all of you. And you come here with your junk in your hands. I'm sorry to say it. I missed out on timeless memories, which was extremely whack. If you could travel through time, you could have just traveled back to the family reunion.

Well, that's the plan after crunch time is over. I'll cut open a hole of time and then we can go play cornhole with Scram's amazing family. Please welcome to the stage four-time to Bo Bobosgar nominee Lucky LaRue, and award presentation droid, Presentotron 2500. Thank you, thank you very much. Thank you. Please sit down.

As every film goes, this one goes as well. And sometimes they don't go at all if the budget isn't there. Pause for laughter. Pause for laughter. Luckily, these films all went. And the nominees for Best Jontawa Language Film are... Jontawa by Jontawa. This way, Miss Jane. Followwa. By Gentawa. Yes, this way, Miss Jane. Follow me.

You're right here. Now, one last watch. Where we're sitting right now is actually very good. Usually, they put the very, very, very important people in the front. Oh. As you can see, we're in the second row. Wow. Well, you're in rows two through 95.

And the mezzanine will collapse if we put you there. Thank you. Oh, baby! I didn't know you'd be here. You're looking hot tonight. There can only be one winner in each category. That's wild. By Gentawa Gentawa.

Once we announce, I shall self-destruct. Me too, if I don't get a drink. Ha ha, pause for laughter. Pause for laughter. Yes, thank you. And the winner is... You open it up. Jontawa. Wow.

Shutting down, baby. Jontawa. Jontawa. Jontawa. Jontawa. And now, please welcome to the stage, Lamar LaCrosse. When my father Looked right across Blazing across the Hollywood scene There was a cost to it To my family My mother, myself But he was a legend

So he got away with a lot of behavior That a lot of people wouldn't And it's the cost of fame so he got away with a lot of behavior that a lot of people wouldn't. And that's the cost of fame. The nominees for Best Animated Short are Toot Toot Goes the Boat Little Blinkies Wild Ride High Seas with You and Me Short Mother

Balloons! And the award goes to... I'm fine now. I've been... I've gotten help. The award goes to... Balloons. First of all, I want to thank the Academy for this Bobo Ska win. When we

set out to make... When we started to make balloons... We wrote balloons with one goal, which is... Well, it seems this heckler has ruined the most important night of my life, so I will say thank you

and good night. And now, please welcome Little Bill. Hello. I'm Little Bill, and I'm terminally ill. Sure, the cinema is entertainment, but it's also a powerful tool for illuminating important social issues. The nominees for Best Product Placement in a Feature-Length Documentary are... Colds to Sack Brand Cold Packs in A Bothersome Fact.

Uh, Miss Jane. Miss Jane. Yeah? I'm sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. me excuse me it's almost time you come with us backstage it's time for the presentation oh wow okay oh i should reveal more of my home hold on i'm just gonna rip this dress Excuse me, the Bacteriogen is connected. I thought I'd just be in the audience, but I realized there's something for me. Oh, I should reveal more of my home. Hold on, I'm just going to rip this dress off. What? Who knew? I knew something was going to happen.

I knew something was going to happen. Got it! Hi! Sorry. Chabon. Sorry. I like reunion convenience. Where's the Shreo? Do they even know it's X-Mas?

And the winner is... Bebops and the Child Dentist of Glamanda City Hall. Well, Blake, you and your friends certainly are... Disappointments. Okay. But, you know, just to your friends certainly are disappointments. Okay. But, you know, just to try to kind of pick up the pieces here a little bit, because I do want this to be sort of climactic. Perhaps your only hope is to kill me.

What? Plek Dexeter. Yes. For I know it is very likely that you have already destroyed all of the whacked effects containing shards of my soul. Sorry, whacked? Yes. Yes, the whacked effects. How do you...

Yes. Okay, just tell me straight up, because I didn't say the number yet. How many whacked effects are there? There are... One. Oh, wait, no, you said plural, so it's more than one. AJ, just hold on.

The whacked effects containing shards of your soul, obviously there are 18 of them, so you better watch out. This is right. How would that even

work to have 18 whack defense? How would that even work? I'm still sticking to one. It's definitely not one. Hey, hey, guys. This probably sounds bad, but at a certain point, does Cor

deserve to win? Like... Nermin, I hate to say this, I sort of think maybe he's already won. Master, they don't even realize that they still have a chance because all of them are together. Scram!

Wow. Thank you for pointing that out to me. Yeah, thank you, Scram. That actually sounded pretty important. I have a chance with both Dars. That's not what... Definitely not. Look here, you interloping vexations, you intergalactic nuisances.

Despite your complete and utter and frankly disrespectful lack of preparation, prophecies have foretold your coming, and the destruction of the Orlweet by your hands cannot be ignored. Though we align the forces of freshness that have conspired to bring you together in opposition to me and my terrible wackness!

You are still, and always shall be, a threat. Though my great and terrible wackness has not yet seen to your demise, there is a greater whackness still. The whackness that lurks so obviously and clearly within your own veins.

What? I know you said obvious, but say it one more time. I'm literally, you don't have to. Follow me, follow me through. Let you be rent asunder By your own rudeness Belligerence, unkindness Thoughtlessness

All the forces of being Not that good to be around And I cast you both Unto your nemeses! Excellent casting, Master. Thank you. You know, it's like, it's up to you to make sure that you're having a good time, right? Yes, you can't rely on others to rise to your level. No, exactly.

And actually, that's sort of what my therapist has been saying. This cat is literally so hot. What are you doing? Oh, I'm hot. Hey, Justin, how's it been? Good to see you. Nemesis time. Corp Amor! Honestly, I think the food is actually getting better.

On Tuesday, they were saying... What are you doing here? We were just coming back from the cafeteria. Yeah, I ate a GURP. You guys, I just sent them to the Nemesis rooms. They're literally... No, hold on. Dog chucked up.

Okay. Alright, there's a portal to ten minutes ago. Go take your trays and please put them in the actual bins where the trays are supposed to go. Don't just leave them on the table. It's not of this... The kitchen staff are busy enough. Do you mind if I tell you about something?

Wouldn't it be whacker if we just left the trays on the table? Wouldn't it be whacker? Crush your fucking tree! Yeah, that's what I thought, alright? I don't come to you and tell you about how to be a bucket of bolts with a bunch of frayed wires hanging up your ass, okay? So don't come and talk to me about whackness.

Yes, mister. Just to be clear, we go back to the cafeteria just in this normal timeline and then go through the portal? No, go through the portal and bring it. No, but if you bring your trays. The trays. Fifteen minutes ago, the trays both, they will exist from now. Okay, here's what you have to do.

I think we'll get to the bottom of this. Okay, no. Sir, hold on. Sir, sir, sir, sir. Take your trays. Yes. Go 15 minutes ago. Go to the cafeteria. Tell you both to not put their trays in the bin. They have to bring their trays here.

In that way, there will be a 15 minute period where there is a quantum entangled quartet of trays, but then the trays will come here and then go back. Okay, but now you're sort of creating the situation where we have to be here, inconveniencing you. Look, it's- that's not what- no. In the timeline you are going to create by going now, like, 13 minutes ago, let's get a hustle, gang. I'm just going to put the tray back.

I'm just going to... Don't you put the tray back in this timeline! I've already cut the portal open. Okay. You go back with the tray. Okay. All right. Okay.

To be continued on the next mission to Zix. This is SeaRiteIT5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing Outro Protocol. Plek Deck Center was played by Alden Ford. C-53 and Scram were played by Jeremy Bent. Dar and Evil Dar were played by Ali Kokesh. Margie the Ship and Justin Balwi were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind. E.J. was played by Winston Knoll. Cor Balevor was played by special guest Brennan Lee Mulligan.

Brennan is the creator and GM for Dimension 20 and a College Humor cast member. He has taught and performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, co-created the webcomic Strong Female Protagonist, and written dozens of LARPs for the Wayfinder Experience Summer Camp in upstate New York. He recently started putting a little bit of cinnamon in his morning coffee, which he has described as a real game-changer. Riddle Master Chad was played by special guest Michael Cruz-Cain.

Michael is a Peabody and WGA winner, in addition to being an Emmy loser. He has appeared on CBS, NBC, HBO, HBO Max, Apple TV, and more as both a stand-up and an actor. Soy Bean-a-Cron was played by Jesse Thorne. String Bean-a-Cron was played by Molly Ringwald. Garbanzulor was played by Mike Birbiglia. Fava Grava was played by Anna Faris. The Beanatrices were played by Ira Glass and Sarah Koenig.

Lenticular was played by LeVar Burton. Beanie Baby was played by Jodi Finn O'Connell. The proprietary Ronca Country Gentleman voice filter was played by Jonathan Lloyd. Bobo Scars Crowd Sounds by our Season 5 finale Spectacular Live Show audience. This episode was edited by Seth Lind. Sound design and mix

by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Thames Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Rogerian Jade by Eric Gois. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Hey, it's John Moe.

Join me on Depresh Mode for conversations on how mental health shapes our life. This week, David Sedaris with stories of his late father that he's finally willing to tell. I think there's a difference between, you know, a good person and a good character. Like he was a good character, my boyfriend Hugh. And my father was another one of those people. He was a really good character, but he wasn't a good person. Depressed Mode with Jon Moe, wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement. I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother, my brother, and me.

You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult, a depraved jumble of erection jokes, ghost humor, and frankly, this is for the best, very little actionable advice. But now, as they enter their twilight years, I'm as surprised as anyone to admit that it's gotten kind of good. Justin, Travis, and Griffin's witticisms are more refined, like a humor column in a fancy magazine. And they hardly ever say bazinga anymore. So, after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows, why not join the McElroy Brothers every week for My Brother, my brother, and me. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture.

Artist owned. Audience supported. Okay, fine. So we have a map to Chad's planet. We've already been there. We've already found Bino. Bino's not there anymore. Or is he?

I hate to play audience surrogate here, but could you catch up, old Dar Dar? Just, you know, what's a Chad? Where are we going? I don't know why anyone would listen. Dar, I got to tell you. I got to tell you. I don't know why anyone would join it at this juncture.

I mean, but. Yeah, I got to say, Dar, if you're not on board at this point, I feel like you don't really. I feel like there's almost nothing we can say to get you on board. Yeah, go back. Just go back. String, bean, and cron. String, bean, and cron. Love.

One dimension. I think I'm really much better on the peanut tricks. I think that just as a performer, it speaks more to kind of who I am. But I'm going to give you another take of string, bean, and cron just in case you need it. Even though I feel like, I don't know. I feel like I just, I don't understand the part from inside. Do you know what I mean? Like I just, I don't know.

I mean, yeah. All right. Let me just try again. Since obviously I'm not somebody. In fact, I would say I'm somebody who's against one-dimensional particles. I'm pretty much against them. And so to play someone who loves them, I don't know. I mean, it's not typecasting, so I appreciate that.

It's a stretch, is what I'm saying.