Mission To Zyxx - 521: The Ass End [Series Finale]

Episode Date: September 23, 2022

Nermut gets a promotion.STARRING:Jeremy BentWinston NoelAllie KokeshSeth LindMoujan ZolfaghariAlden FordShane O’ConnellFeaturing special guest Brennan Lee MulliganEdited by Seth Lind and Alden FordSound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellTheme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraAdditional music by Shane O’Connell, Brendan Ryan, Eric Gersen and Steven CzajkowskiOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Audio hosting by SimplecastSpecial thanks to:Brendan ReganErik BraundBen LillieCharles Pulliam-MooreNick DouglasIra GlassJesse Thorn, Bikram Chatterji, Stacey Molski, Kira Gowan, Daniel Baruela, and the rest of the Maximum Fun teamOur incredible special guestsOur amazing live show audiencesOur heroic supporters on Patreon and Maximum FunAnd you, for listening to the show.Mission to Zyxx has been a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.

Well... Shit. Outmatched, outwitted, and out-dinglehoppered, the crew of the Bargerian Jade have found themselves trapped within the whack machinations of the evil wizard Kor Baelvor. Who, as it turns out, was like a thousand steps ahead of them this whole time. With zero orbs of Trachis, just one of nine Legumacrons still dormant, and none of Baelvor's soul-preserving Waktifacts,

our heroes have little hope of preventing the destruction of reality as they know it. But little is better than none. And as our heroes face their nemeses alone, confined to mysterious locations deep within Baelvor's fortress, they hold on to their last shreds of courage, freshness, and hope that they will live to see each other again. For if they fail, it shall be their, and let's be honest, everyone else's, very final mission to theip. To be continued... around and I cast you both onto your nemeses!

Wait. Is this the planet where all those kids got their school hollows taken? This is so weird. I can't believe our nemeses are children. Oh. Forgotten all about me. Did you, darling?

Hi, Steve. Whoa. Back in the old frame. What happened to the country gentleman? It was starting to kind of do something for me. Very reminiscent of that bodice ripper, Tunnelton. You know which one I'm talking about? It was very popular with the mom side.

Nemesis confirmed. Vaporization commencing. All right, Corbihailvor. Show yourself. It's just you and me. That's not gonna happen, Plek He's not here I am Evil Darb, what's happening? Oh, come on, Plek

Here we are on Flirk Where you fatally shot me in a blind panic Oh no The core isn't my nemesis, it's... It's you! Where are you? Fleck! Fleck, get back here!

Get back here and face me! Where am I? What is this? What? Why are there paintings? Is that a painting of me? Is that another painting of me? This is a long red rug leading to a throne. Oh, the throne's turning around. I wonder who's in it. Okay. All right.

Who are you that enters my throne room? I'm Nermit Bundeloy. I'm a member of the crew. I mean, I'm leader of the galaxy. I'm leader of the galaxy. You're just something I grew out of. You? What?

Guards. Oh, what? Destroy this. No. Free imposter. No, no, no, no, no, no. As you wish. No, no, no.

As you wish, you assholes. No! Okay, let's do this. Nemesis time. No one has told me what a nemesis is, but... Show yourself! Wait a nemesis is, but... Show yourself! Wait a second. This is the cloning facility.

I'm home! Miss Janelle! Little AJ's home! Your boy's back! Wait. No. My nemesis. Ya boy's back! Wait... Oh... no... My nemesis... which I assume is a bad thing... There it is...

The tomb of Blue Liquid! Oh my god Is this X-Island? That it is C-53 Captain Cameron? Just Kirk Cameron now I'm not a captain of anything Not even in your own destiny? Captain Cameron? Just Kirk Cameron now.

I'm not a captain of anything. Not even in your own destiny? I'm sorry, that sounds very glib. I meant it in a lighthearted way, and that was not the time. Whoa, whoa. What is this? Hello? Ew, where am I? Like, I'm literally in an empty void right now.

I said, that doesn't pass a vibe, chick. Ew, there's a mirror. Who's my nemesis? Is it no one? Am I perfect? Ew, no fair. And the winner is Bebops in The Child Dentist of the Lomba 7. Yeah! Yeah! Thank you, thank you. We here are so excited for The Child Dentist of the Lomba 7. Miss Jane, may I just say you look amazing tonight. Do you mind if I just attach this microphone right here?

Oh, wow. If you just run this cord right down, I'll let you do it. Thank you. What's that? Something's going to happen. Something big's going to happen. I'm ready for it. How do I look?

You look like a bakery spaceship. Okay. We're gonna go like... Alright. Yep. Into space. Alright, it's finally Bajie's time. Organics and synthetics, please welcome to the stage, Spaceship Speegleship.

The Jack. Spiegel Ship. That Jack? See, why are you doing this? How can you be my nemesis? You destroyed me. Now I shall destroy you. On the Sam planet? That wasn't me. That was evil Dar.

No, you're unclogged. Wait, you shot me another time? You killed me twice? No, as I was trying to say. You tore me to pieces even though we were friends. No, I tore you to pieces because we're friends. A tidy justification. It really is when you think about it. You're here in present day, and in fact,

I'd say now you are better off than you were in this frame. Better off dead? Now it is you who will be dead, and also better off. Please, I can prove it to you. Statistically unlikely. Thank you, thank you. See, I always respected that you appreciated, like, a cohesive verbal argument,

because obviously, like, if we really wanted to do this out again, I could just tear you apart. Core mailboard has reinforced this frame with additional defensive measures which makes your attacks useless and my revenge inevitable. Okay. Do we really think core is your friend?

Core mailboard is merely a means to an end. And what's that end? Well, to... To get revenge. Yeah, I'm just getting my revenge. I'm gonna kill you, you know, go on a limb. And that would make you feel better?

Well, I'm pretty upset, I gotta be honest. See, that's hurting me more. Knowing that I've upset my friend? Ugh, I don't know how I'm gonna live with myself. Oh, you can't live with yourself? Well, I didn't get to live at all, dark. I made from a copy of thatup for Quarantined Central But if you just take your little

Pitch yourself, Patrick, yeah You didn't get to live What are you talking about? They had to restore me from a backup That means I was dead No, no, I mean there was a backup But the original was just fine We saved your cube

And we've had seasons of adventures together. You got to try a whole bunch of new frames. A toaster, a humidifier, a loader droid, and oh, my favorite, the little urchin droid. That was fun and seasonal. This sounds like a series of humiliations. No, no. No, hear me out. It was actually kind of freeing.

You kind of got to experience a bunch of new lies. And then you were infested by the kek. I mean, you were a disgusting bug. If you're trying to sell me on this. I am really hard because this is kind of feeling life and death right now. I'm feeling life and death right now. People die! No, no! Wait, no, no!

Run from me! I'm running to you! Stop! What's happening? What are you doing? I haven't run in a long time. Hold on. Oh.

I always make the intention to do it, you know, every new year. Like, I'll get in better shape. But... Okay. Breath caught. Fleck. You're not my nemesis. Huh? Starting now.

Evildar. You have every reason to be my nemesis I shot you right here on Flurp wow yes admitting is the first step and the thing is Plek I really held a grudge

against you for that one I know I shouldn't have but I didn't have all the context that I have now and that is sometimes a mistake is I know I shouldn't have, but I didn't have all the context that I have now. And that is, sometimes a mistake is just that. A mistake. No, Dara, it was more than that. It was a mistake that I made because I had no idea what I was doing.

I hurt you. You're right to blame me for that. And? And? And? i'm sorry ah there it is see water under the bridge i forgive you i'm sorry i i've done a lot of things i i regret but the whole reason i've wanted to follow this stupid destiny and figure out what my purpose is is because I want to do the right thing for once. And, you know, maybe that's all going to come to nothing.

Maybe I'm going to jack that up too. But I know that I owe more to the galaxy and to my friends than I've given them. And I just, I'm sorry. I'm such a dinkus. Is it a, can I? Yeah, no. I actually wasn't expecting

that long of an apology. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no. I don't know. I think it would be too easy to say that you're dumb. You know? What? Because you're know. Like, I think it would be too easy to say that you're dumb. You know? What? Because you're not. Well, thank you.

I just don't want you to underestimate yourself or sell yourself short. Yeah, I think that's really good advice. Also, you probably shouldn't handle weapons ever again. Any weapons? Yeah. Well, what about, I mean, the dinglehopper, by some accounts, is the most powerful weapon, you know, imaginable. The twig? Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say, like, it compares to, you know, a planet crusher or something, but I would say, like, hand-to-hand, wielded properly, the dinglehopper is an elegant weapon.

Okay, yeah, you're allowed to have that. Thank you so much, yes. But maybe allowed to have that. Thank you so much. Yes. But maybe nothing else. I don't need anything else. Okay, that's the spirit. No, no, giant mean flecks, get up. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.

Prepare to be blasted. Prepare to be blasted. Prepare to be disintegrated. No, how do you even prepare for that? You don't. He's got a keyboard. He's got a keyboard. Wait. disintegrated no how do you even prepare for that you don't wait stand down what is that a bx13 uh this yeah i core zapped my main keyboard but this is one I always keep on my person. I just got a BX13. Isn't it awesome?

Like, it's not the best rated of the BX series, but I swear, like, I take it over the 15 any day. I just journaled about how I threw away the 15 because of the 13. Do you ever lay it down like this? Yeah, I do. oh and uh i assume you got one of these wait you got the vocoder attachment yeah you didn't get it they were sold out they said they sold me the last one listen to this i'm me i'm me, who are you? You are me You're you, who are you? I'm you, I am you Me, you, you, me, us, us, me and me

One plus one is two, if there were another there'd be three but there's not there's just you and me to be me and you me man that was amazing. Yeah. If only we'd been recording, right? Hey, Reggie, were you rolling on that? Yeah, it sounds great. What?

You guys want to do another take or... I don't think we need another... Do you think we need another take? Copy that. Let's move on to overdubs. All right, I'm going to have the plinths come in and set up some drums and some amplifiers. Your throne room is a recording studio? Yeah.

I mean, why not, right? See that control room? What? You have the TT-12-9s? When I made Burma Funalities, I dreamt about that compressor, but I could never afford it. I've got all the Nermos you could ever want, you know what I'm saying? When the money's named after you, they just send them to you, complementar.

You know? Totally, totally get it, since I'm the one who won the election, after all, and you were sort of installed. Well, won is maybe not the right word, because of the whack intervention of the emperor in the election, so yeah, who wants to talk politics anyway? Let's jam it's the tube the tube of blue liquid no not me tube it's my tube My tube. You happy?

You happy now? Here I am. Big success. Bailing the crew. No, it's never been enough for you, has it? Tube of blue liquid. Never strong enough for you, am I? Why do you think I try to be so strong all the time?

You think I like forming perimeters? I don't. But I did because, you know, you're round. And so I thought, maybe I could form a circumference too. But I can't. Because I'm not round. I'm person shaped.

And I always have been. I'm not like you. I don't want your life. Ugh. Hey, sorry I'm late to come kick your chucking ass. Whoa, what? I'm Super Yolk's plant? You're my nemesis?

You're right damn right. Okay, I'm so relieved. I thought I was going to have to face my daddy issues. You're... Hold on. I'm sorry, did you just say that you think that the tube of blue liquid is your dad? No, did you? Oh my rod, you're dumber than I thought, bro. Alright, let's do this.

I've been wanting to do this ever since. Miss Janelle's planet. Let's do this. Bring it on. All right. Whoa. Clocked me there. You like that? There's more where that came from.

Bob and weave. And then flurry of punches. Oh, ah. you're better. You don't understand, do you? I'm more Clint than you'll ever be, bro. What'd you say to me? I'm Clint, baby. Oh, Snoop.

You're Clint 2.0, huh? Does Chuck get blank sex? I don't think so. What is blank sex? Clint 3.0, huh? Does Chuck hit Plank Sacks? I don't think so. What is Plank Sacks? Plint 3.0, Mother Chucka. That tune of blue liquid over there has been optimized, synthesized, electrolyzed to make me the yokedest clone in the Chuckin' Galaxy, bro. Incredible gains, bro.

You don't know the half of it. You just got blacked. Don't make that your catchphrase, bro. It's so hot, Cameron. Get out of here. Well, as you can see, almost every appendage I have is made of wood, so not great. Listen, Kieran, we don't have to do this. Do we not? You betrayed me. You left the crew.

Retractable cane, I see. That's one of the benefits of this frame. You were always into upgrading, weren't you? Frames with friends I was into making my own decisions, Cameron I felt like I was waiting around for you And you weren't interested And you know, I was upset I wanted to hurt you But I never meant for you to get captured by the Monarch.

That's right, got by the Monarch. Yeah! All I see is my own reflection. Oh. Hello, Mae. Wait! How you doing? Are you sad because your dad was evil?

And also the love of your life ran off with a refrigerator? Wait, was it my fault I got a DM? You're right, though. I shouldn't have let something so significant go away so easily. Wow. I hate you. I love you. I hate you.

But I love you. Ew! Wow! Is that a pimple? Literally, like, put me on fire right now. Where is my nemesis? It's like so unfair. Everybody gets a nemesis? It's like so unfair. Everybody gets a

nemesis and all I get is to like look into my own reflection and like what reflect. You're so small and insignificant. No wonder your dad turned evil. Is your dad Joel? Ew. Why is my nose all patchy?

Where is my namasas? Please welcome to the stage, Spaceship Speedleship. As the old saying goes, Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand croon for a kiss and 50-bit croon for your soul. No one knows that more than our esteemed guest. This storied, illustrious actress and I have had our ups and downs over the years. But she's made Hollywood what it

is today. Without her, we wouldn't have such timeless quotes like, frankly, my dear, I don't give two jocks, or I'm mad as jock and I won't take it anymore, or bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. But what she really gave us was a dream. She gave Hollywood soul. Ladies and gentlemen, the deserving recipient of this year's Tiny Toots Memorial Lifetime Achievement Baboska goes to my friend, my enemy, my muse, my deepest regret, my proudest achievement, my ex-wife, the Vajarian Jade. Do you remember how you did it,

daughter? Okay, your eyes are lighting up again and I can only assume that this is about to be very, very bad. You have to be up like this. See, booby down. And you tore off my arms like this.

Why must you hold me upside down? I'm going to lose my lunch. Prepare to lose your life. Oh, my precious stuff is falling from my chutes and flaps. Oh, be careful with that. Oh. I don't know why they would pick me over anyone else. I was in a toaster at the time. What is that?

Turn that off. Wait, no. No. Oh, see, you have to listen to this. You have to. Stop shaking. You was in a toaster at the time. What is that? Turn that off! No! No! Oh, see! You have to listen to this! Stop shaking! You have to listen to this! Dar, I've been better on boy than anyone else on this crew. Wait, who is this? That's you.

Dar, I still needed to be rescued. My voice sounds so weird. Right, because you're vamping up to a song. No, not that. It's just the vocal process, you know what I mean? That was one of your many frames. A sweaty her-man named Jeremy.

I'm sorry, what? I know, I know, but did you hear where you said we were all important? No, I'm sorry, I got caught. I was sweaty? You were, and then you were a kick, and now you're in the country, gentlemen. But the thing is, you were always C. Even after I had to break you apart to save everybody.

And yourself. Listen, this is the best part. We care about each other. In the future. Even though that C is fully aware that I tore him apart. And you have this queued up on a boombox because... Why? We had these communicators that the FEM gave us that recorded everything we said and did.

And I just happened to pull this specific recording because sometimes, and this will be hard to believe, I have a low self-confidence moment. And sometimes I need to be reminded. You know, if you just fast forward a little bit, you'll get to hear all the affirmations I like to hear me tell myself. No, I think you've got to make your case here. I'm prepared. So, we good? Or is revenge still on the table? I mean...

I did actually try to get some info from the outside world on what's been happening in the last six years, and now I'm realizing Core Build War has probably kept me in the dark about a lot of stuff. Poor parental control, but either way... He says the Wi-Fi on Mufaletta Secundus is no good, which might be true, but it feels different. No, no, it's definitely true. Yeah, we should get out of here. Core insisted on setting up this recreation of a club to the tip for, I don't know,

poetic justice or something. Doesn't that feel more triggering for you than it does for me, though? I think he was selling it to me as like, this is empowering to do. Oh, sure. Honestly, this whole thing makes me uncomfortable. Because even if you didn't tear me apart, that means I would've...

I think I was gonna kill a kid. I don't feel good about that. No, no. We got to get out of here. Are you happy to blow liquid? Are you happy now? Are you still talking about inanimate objects? Shut up, man.

Fight me! I admit it. I'm not strong enough to beat him. I always needed help. Whether it was the clans or the crew. I've always needed help. And now I need your help. I've got to do something I should have done a long time ago,

which is face you and then tip you over and drink you. What are you doing, bro? Are you talking insane, bro? How did your body get all that liquid? No, I'm not insane, bro? How does your body have a whole lot of liquid? No, I'm not insane, bro. I just resolved my father issues. Again, it is an in and out.

That is a machine. And I'll tell you this. I realize that true power What's happening to you? is admitting that you're vulnerable. What's happening to your body, bro? I'm starting to burn! Oh my god!

You're powerless! You're over 9000! Oh, your armor's just popping off! Yeah! Okay, bro I'm pretty yoked now The only thing left is your utility belt Just framing your plank Even your plank has amps Do you wanna go for another round.

Undercut. Yeah! Yeah! Is that what're waiting for? So then I think this is where the guitars come in. Yes, that's what that's going to say. So yeah, if they get here and not in the earlier bar we originally had it. Yes, I was just going to make that change because then you feel it, right?

Hmm. I think, Mement, I 100% agree. Oh gosh, I love this moment when you're just in the flow. Yes. You know, I dreamt about collaborating with you, Mement, and I got afraid that it wasn't going to live up to my expectations. And I was disappointed that I was tasked with killing you. Oh.

Okay. Cool. No, I mean, I'm glad I'm not going to. Good. Cool. Even though it's technically still my mandate. Okay. Well, I think the bass line that you just played is going to go throughout,

and then we'll layer the two basses starting right here. I feel like we don't even need to talk anymore. We're in la zone. Hey, Gretchy, can we hear that choice take of the uh duet chorus yep just one second all right schedules matter they matter when you're planning things out planning things out I want a hug. I'm going to hug myself in the mirror. Hug. I love you. And I know you're going through tough times right now because you're alone

and you're part of the og crew and you've been through like so much also you're living in a really chaotic world that's built upon a lot of traumatic events that were outside of her own control. Literally? Ugh! Is it weird if I kiss myself? I'm going in. I'm going in. I'm going- Ew, don't use taunt! That's gross!

The vibe is over. Literally, I feel nothing right now. Don't even damn me. Damn me. Why haven't you texted me? You know what? I'm going to break the mirror.

Yeah. My reflection is not a true representation of my identity. No. Oh, no. My hand is blood on. Hello? I need to go to the nurse's office right now. Oh! I'm devoured. Centurion! Father! Mother! Society! Puberty! mother society puberty

it's over bro stay down stay down I just realized something you're the best Clint. You're the best Clint at kicking my ass. Hey.

You're the best Clint at having a spiritual epiphany and then changing your ways. Self-realization. Self-actualization. Hey, man. Hey, man. Self-realization Self-actualization Hey man We are the best clan At self-realization We don't even have the same DNA bro We're just completely different Alright I win

Take me with you Yeah come on bro I want to be a part of whatever this is Alright man come on I was created like 24 hours ago. I don't need your backstory, bro. Let's just get moving. That's it.

That's the whole backstory. Oh, okay. I'll follow you anywhere. Papa. Papa AJ. Okay, now that I hear it back to me, it's not a great name. Daddy. Don't call me daddy.

Daddy Papa. Let's get you back. I love you. Okay. I know you. Okay. I know I'm not supposed to say that or whatever, but I do. Oh, I love you too, man. Let's get back to the... Man, you're spitting out a lot of teeth.

Let's get you back to that big cavern where all the bad stuff was happening, huh? Hey, give me one second. Don't drink any more of that, bro. No, I drank it all, bro. Hey, empty tube. Thank you. For, like, the huge power-up

and, like, I mean, I'm, like, so jacked right now, thank you. Absolutely shredded. Yeah, decent, bro. Yeah, that's it. That's it, diesel, bro. Yeah, passed it. I said decent, bro. Appreciate it. Listen, Cameron.

I'm sorry. All right. I was angry when we parted ways. I was furious with you. I'm glad I'm here with you, Cameron. I didn't think I'd ever get a chance to finally tell you face to face. I'm sorry. If I could take it all back,

I would. I... You seem sincere. I am. You know, you were the first person I ever met who I... You're the first person I ever loved. I didn't know what to do with it. Ah.

C-53 admitting that he's wrong. Well, I live and breathe. I barely breathe. Sometimes sawdust comes out. He said, it's like a bellows. Yeah, one of them is a bellows.

One of it, so I have to kind of... You know, Cameron, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but they make organic replacements for body parts. What? Like, you don't have to replace everything with wood. Listen, I've lost a lot, but I will tell you

one thing that isn't made of wood. My heart, not my penis. Were you thinking penis? No. It didn't cross your mind at all? It really, to be perfectly honest, it didn't. I think I'm just in a different stage of my life.

I sort of had some relationships. Yeah, we've all, yeah. My heart. My heart is still flesh and blood. What? The blood? Your tenderness and forgiveness of me makes me, why, want to reciprocate. Listen, Cameron, I don't want to fight you.

Do you want to get out of here? Sure There's a magic-y portal that's right behind the Big old skull-looking rock over there I was going to go through it after I killed you So We could probably still use it, right? It seems like it

That's how portals work, right? I don't think so For me, neither. You look great, by the way. I never said it, but you look great. You know, I know it's a lot of wood, but honestly, you can tell you put a lot of care into it with all of those things. Yeah. Penis still works, so... Yeah? You should have been there earlier. Did I?

Okay, just wanted to make sure you were aware. I am considerably more than that. Wow! Wow! Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. Okay. Sit down.

Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Okay. Wow. I was not expecting this. I, yeah. Ha. Wow.

A lifetime achievement award named after Tiny Toons. Great. Fantastic. Yeah. Hey, sit down! I clap my standing. What can I say? Uh, I guess you know who I am still. That's fine. Um, yes, I was a very prolific actor and director And writer for a while

And yes I disappeared You know because this industry Honestly Chucking takes the soul out And takes the chucking shit on it Stand back up Stand back up Listen I know

I should be thankful for this award Especially because so many of you have come up to me and told me you thought I was dead. But I guess what I really want to say is... Hollowan, you can't reject me. I reject you! I know what this Lifetime Achievement Award is. You give it to the sentience you think whose careers are over. Well, Bajie's career's not over. Bajie's career is still going and it's going strong and I'm not gonna give up.

You can't tell me it's over. Junk you, I don't need you. You are junky plastic and you're fake. Can't tell me it's over? Junk you? I don't need you. You are junky plastic in your fake. How many of you actually have your original holes? Huh? You know what? Why am I wearing a gown? What am I trying to prove to you? I'm just trying to be shimmery and sparkly so you can never hire me again?

Well, I'm taking this gown off! That's right. This is what an old jucking haul looks like that's had a lot of work done, but really cheap work, so in the end, it really nothing has changed. Stare at it, everybody! Stare at my ship haul, you junkheads! Anyway, all right, get back inside. We're getting out of this stanky whole house. I got a swag bag. Welcome back to the stage, your host, Donkey.

Now, here at the center of my whack castle, here at the edge of my whack castle, here at the edge of time and space, have I summoned the forces of whackness to my aid. In my right hand do I cut the dandelhopper, and in my left the inwinkle staff, and between spare points all creation shall be rent asunder. I begin with the first of 118 elemental gems. And come in hot with the second of 118 elemental gems. And here comes number three. Two-two, pull an end to the station. Core Balevor.

What the chuck? What, didn't expect me back? This can't be possible. You should be destroyed now. Sorry, what I missed. Had to go the old, well, you know. The toilet? See, you know, I didn't have to say it.

You knew what I was implying. Kor, you thought you could defeat me with one of my best friends? Ha, think again. Silence, you pitiful worm! Let me get this straight, evil dog. Good to me is good, dog. I summoned you into existence through timelines to come in here and destroy Black Deck Center.

You'd be dead in the woods, Aunt Fleur, if I hadn't resurrected you for this one job. And you completely shocked me. It wasn't on purpose. It's just that, I mean, look at him. Plek apologized, and I forgave him. Because,

well, I realized he meant it. What does that have to do with anything? You weren't supposed to kill Black Death Center! And yet, I live. Listen here. Perhaps you have found some way around my wackness, buoyed by prophecy as you are.

But your friends will surely have fallen to my vile imaginations. Oh, hey, Dar. Hey there. What? Hey there yourself. Dar One is what I've been calling, because they're sort of prime Dar.

Dar Zero is the one with the goatee. Actually, I'm cool with Evil Dar, and I'm okay with just Dar. You're investing a lot of energy in names that you won't need to know in a minute because you're all going to be dead. All right? We're putting a lot of mustard on a sandwich that's going straight in the trash. Who puts mustard on a sandwich? You want to look at me like I'm crazy for putting mustard on a sandwich?

Oh, listen. I love doing whack stuff. That, what I just said? Normal. Literally not whack. Though maybe the one thing that the whack and fresh agree on is getting a nice stone ground mustard on some peasant bread. Make yourself a little sandwich in the middle of the day.

Pick you right up. Dar, who was your nemesis? I think I can answer that. C-53, you got your old frame back. I think I can answer that C53 you got your old frame back well no I'm actually a C53 restored from a previous backup of who you know as C53

put to a weaponized federated alliance frame for the purpose of killing your daughter but I realized that C5353, myself, was actually alive as well. Nobody realized anything else. We're done realizing stuff in the castle.

You know, Court, I just realized you're making the mistake of assuming that a clone of any of us is inherently evil. We're all just the same people. Oh, my rod. Talk some more shit, dude. Like, they've literally got a goatee on the front of their face. They're evil.

Evil. Or at least that was the plan. Oh, disappointed core. Oh, real C-53. Well, you know, in many ways, both of us are a real C-53. And it starts to get into the question of what is the nature of reality when it comes to an intelligence that could be and was replicated? Yeah. So wait a minute.

You also weren't destroyed by your... Raise your hand if you weren't destroyed by your nemesis. Now do you want the quote-unquote evil ones to also raise their hand? Literally, literally, literally listen to what I say. If you weren't destroyed by your nemesis, raise your hand. Literally, literally, listen to what I say. If you weren't destroyed by your nemesis, raise your hand. Okay, Cameron, I guess that's your hand as well. Oh, yes.

I will raise my hand, which is actually a system of dowels and string, as I lost my original hand on X Island. But this X here, he's a-okay. Honestly, we really appreciated the chance to talk it out. Aye.

Cathartic as was. I'm so pissed right now, I can't, like, onboard another person's deal. You know what I mean? This proves nothing. Three minor loopholes discovered, none of which disproves that the rest

of your crew has surely perished. We're scatting the star right now! But we like it. We both like it. This guy's actually a good scatter. I mean, you're pretty good. Well, honestly,

I can't tell which Nermin is Nermin. My boy, explain yourself. Why is Buntaloy still alive? Oh, well, we were, I mean, really going at it because we both came in with demos that we wanted to base the track on. It was crazy because it turned out

when we played them, they were identical. Mine was a little bit, I think, closer to the final master. Honestly, I literally nearly figuratively killed him because we were seriously butting heads artistically over which synth to use in the bridge

until we realized actually neither of us knew. Yeah, Cora, I gotta say, you kind of set up this whole situation to create conflict, but you kind of just created closure for everybody. Well, the only closure you'll be feeling from here on out, Black Death Center, is me closing the door on your miserable life. Kor Benobor, you're going down, Mother Chucker.

Whoa, AJ, you are yoked. Hold on. Yeah. Well, I discovered vulnerability, and I drank my dad, and we kicked each other's asses, and now we're here to stop you, Corp Balevore. That's right. Sir, I'm back up for ten seconds. You drank your dad?

Yeah, well, I realized that the tube of blue liquid was, like, in some ways my dad. And I finally realized, you know, I kind of got to that. Stop realizing shit. Look here, all right? Because there's got to be close to 20 people in this goddamn ritual chamber. Justin, I feel bad. Hey, Justin.

Justin, why are you carrying that broken mirror? Why? Because in a way, that mirror was me. But now I know who is me. And I'm me. And I love me. Rod, I want to clock this kid right in the face. We've become viral in the past couple seconds on happy affirmation talk talk.

I'm not going to lie. I'm going to put the dinglehopper down. I'm going to put dingle staff down. And it's going to be four square knuckles right to the jaw, kiddo. Clearly there's something that happened to you on the pass that's making you feel this way. Maybe you should look inside yourself and make a change. That feeling when you defeat your nemesis. Clearly there's something that happened to you on the pass.

Justin, don't record a vid in that. Like, there's sort of high stakes. How many vowels did you put in the middle of the word change? How many distinct vowels? What a diphthong. Make a challenge. All of you were supposed to unravel from the inside. And instead, everybody grew as people and learned shit about themselves.

Chuck, now I say, no more realizations. No more cathartic, meaningful moments. No more friends reuniting. Hello, everybody. Whoa. Whoa, Bargy. Hey, Bargy. Hey, Bargy.

Hey, Bargy. Whoa, Bargy's coming through the volcano hole. Wow, Bargy. Whoa, Barge, he's coming through the volcano hole. Oh, Barge, welcome back. That's right, welcome back. I'm not dead. Great. And guess what? I beat my nemesis of fame. It doesn't have any power over me anymore. I'm all good now.

Yay! Wait a minute. Hold on. Your nemesis was fame? What are you talking about? Fame was really bringing me down, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

No, that tracks part. No, no, no. It can be corrosive to anyone. All of it is a vicious cycle of narcissism and corruption. Proving yourself. Proving yourself. I didn't make your nemesis. That's so abstract and thick.

It's so... Listen, these nemeses... Yeah, fame would make sense if I was trying to give you all catharsis. I was trying to kill you. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, Cor, you know, in many ways, fame can kill. It's taken many of our most beloved hollow stars away from us over the years.

Yeah, let's see a clip. I implanted one of the many victims you shot into space as the sentience of a state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line warship with only one purpose, which was to destroy you, Borgie. Your nemesis wasn't fame. It is the Coolata. I'm here. It's me, the daughter of the Grand Coola.

I'm a ship now. I don't know who this is. Yeah, it's probably fine. Yeah, this is like our first mission. I was there. Hey! You may have blasted me out into space six years ago, but now I'm back, and I'm going to destroy you.

Hey, wow. Wow, you did it. Ah, being a ship was a dream. How do you feel? Bargy, honestly, I feel amazing. I know, you look amazing. Really? Aww, you're sweet.

Most ships, hot take or disgusting. Huh? You're a hot ship. Oh, Bargy, hearing all this and processing all this, I'm realizing that I have a parasocial relationship with you, which has been really unhealthy for me, so I need to find out who I am. Honestly, no notes. No notes?

Unjucking real. Are you in front of me? This is the rudest thing I've ever seen. You speedran bonding of enemies to friends in ten seconds? She's a pro. She's a pro.

Thank you. Well, this is all super cute, but I'm doing rituals and the universe of all of you rituals are drunk off. How does that sound? Oh, yeah, we forgot about the ritual. What are we going to do? Is Bino awake yet? No, Bino is still asleep in his box, which is safely

inflated. Okay. Okay, so, Papa, I guess this is like prophecy time, right? Right. Yes. I got this. I believe in you, Papa. Thank you, AJ.

But we got to do much more than believe if we want to see the world change. What? You won't win, Cor Baelvor. If hate's the gate to peace, this is the last stop. I shall summon that stuff through the space to my

self. Whoa! What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?? What? What? What? I'm a little bit whack, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit wait It was a little bit whack

My prophecy is to bring balance To the galaxy and you know what Sometimes it means just being a little bit A little bit whack Just to keep everything from falling apart And now The dinglehopper is mine Whoa Cor Balevor And now, the dinglehopper is mine.

Cor Baelvor, your reign of chaos and terror is coming to an end. Oh, you have crossed me this day, and the black text in the pageant will give me to the edge of madness. You and your pathetic friends. Power friendship. Power friendship. Okay, AJ, all right. The only friend I need in this world is myself. And also my good friend Scram.

Thank you for helping, Scram. Ah, yes. Good to be a mentioned master. Oh, yes, of course. Scram, you're great. Scram, have, yes. Good to be mentioned, Master. Oh, yes, of course. Scram, you're great. Scram, have you actually, have you brought for lunch today? Not yet, Master. Why are you so nice to Scram?

Scram and me, we are tight. Like, this whole enterprise is not like just a dog. It's like we are family here. We do. Well, Master. What? Scram. Oh, no. Scram. Oh, wow. Sc do. Well, master. What? Scram. Scram.

Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Speak to me. Will your voice inquire us? Master Bale, for you are the finest master I have ever served, without question. Yes? I would give my life for your own, but, I mean, do we hang out? Do we?

Well, I... Oh, wow. we hang out? Do we... Well, like... No, no, no. Hold on. She's awkward. No, no, no. It's not awkward. It is not awkward. It is not awkward. Listen, Scram. But that's the thing. It's like, we're like... We're the go-hard bros, you know?

Like, we go hard. That's ironic. Yes, Master, but you go hard at work, you know? Well, like, no, but, yeah, we don't hang out because we're always at the office putting in that extra elbow grease. But, like, I think... Well, but remember I had the Zybal tickets, master, and I asked if you wanted to come,

and you said we had too much evil business to do, and so I sort of saw that as a moment where like okay he wants to keep it professional yeah I said cringe so core do you have like no friends what did

you say I do I asked I just asked do you have no friends I guess that sounds a little bit more loaded than I... Do you, like, follow anyone on TalkTalk? Do they follow you back? I follow the path of the Black Knight. I don't know what I'm saying.

Friends. Friends, I am not so fortunate as you. Blessed by prophecy and bound, your fates crossed in the stars. What forces of the galaxy could have thrown you all together into these misadventures, these long years past? I think it was sort of an algorithm at the Federated Alliance that was like, like, Dar's big and Nermit's little and, like, Plek's kind of pink.

Yeah, and Bargy needed the work. One day later, I was sort of like, oh, this seems fun. I was there since the beginning. I need a help with this. The work side of a different path. What could be more fresh than to kick it with one's friends? And what could be more whack than to reduce the universe to chaos?

Alone. You will find that I still have my second of two great galactic sticks. I may not have the Eagle Harbor now, Pledexator, but I did have it 15 minutes ago. Carving a portal into the air! I summon you from a timeline fifteen minutes in the past! Oh no! Corvailfor!

I'm Tinkus Corvailfor! Greetings to you, Cor! What say you, my whack brother? Shall we commence to summon more Corvail Fours? Oh, no. More like Corvail Four! Oh, yeah! Okay, yeah, that's good. Let the hate make hate more!

I don't think so, Danny! I don't like this at all, Ryan. 16 candles? More like 16... ...bandals! ...bandalizing the, uh, timeline! Oh, wow. And you really reached for the code! I don't even know the original code.

I don't know! 32 core bailalevores. 32 Skidoo. Or should I say Skidones? You think I'm 20? It's 23 Skidoo. So it's really this. No.

Scram, Scram, could you hop in here and help him? Who wants 32 bosses? This is a nightmare. A nightmare? Well, will in here and help him? Well, I'm 32 bosses. This is a nightmare. A nightmare? Well, will you still be my employee when I'm 64? No. No, it's too many. That's a lot.

Papa, do something. Cora, I don't get it. Are you making friends? Friends of the week. I am an army of myself. Is that not right, brethren? We are there. There's only one bathroom here.

Do they all, like, share it now? I don't think. If they're around for a while, maybe, but. You still shouldn't go in there for at least a little while longer. I mean, I was just in there. 128 skadoo. I mean, that's... I guess if you want to put skadoo on the end, sure.

Yeah, you can just say skadoo after any number. 256 skadoo. There's so many. There's not enough room. They're all going on top. Now, with 256 core Baleforce and 255 Dinglehoppers... I shall be the one... Hold on. As the first...

Yes, you are first in that you are the oldest. So why don't you let me, the most decent boy, in letting you. You are the one of us without a dinglehopper. I was the one who most recently ate as you opened a portal right as I was finishing my frittata. I am the most capable. I think I should be the one to speak.

You know the irony is, if they just let the oldest core build, they'll all get to experience him and he'll have been in his age. My nose is bleeding, I hate this shit. Cool beer boys, I'm just gonna pitch this, and if you are into it, everybody give a thumbs up. And if you're

not into it, everybody give a thumb down. Simple majority. When I say go, we will destroy these plucky heroes of space, and then we will all return through the exact doors we came through.

Um, that's not a thumb, that's a hand. No, I actually have a question, because my door is through another one of the doors. So should I go through my... You cut a door in one of the doors. Why would you do that? Well, don't tell me how to do my business!

I- it's- it's- that way we keep track! It's like a matryoshka doll! No, that's a terrible idea! All right. As the Korvail 4, at the terminus of this, the prime timeline, I call upon the youngest Korvail 4

to impart to me your dinglehopper so that I can absolutely wail on these freaks. Hi, I'm Corvailfor. I'm a Zima Knight. Why are so many of you robots? Who summoned the kid? I thought the point was to have them. Whenever we had a Dinglehopper, and we mostly had the Dinglehopper when we were young. Yeah, and a Zima Knight who believes in the fresh. What is this?

Why are... Did something bad happen to me in the future? Listen, I'll explain it. Young Cory... Young Cory... Hey, Cory. What's the haps? It's your friend. Hold on a second.

Corey is a nickname for Corey? You be quiet. I'm speaking to my younger self. Listen, man. I'm your cool future self. We're all Knights of Zima. What say you pass that dinglehopper on over

to your older you? I don't know if I should. You know what I'm saying? What is he doing? He's snapping. Our younger self would never listen to an old, fuddy-duddy- Corey. Corey.

What's that? Hey, hi. Is this me? Am I really seeing? Because I can see there's a couple of me that are like part robot, and they look super sad. And then there's mostly me as robot. Yeah. Corey, I hate to tell you this, but these guys are all you in your future.

I've become this? I'll snap his neck. It'll be quick. Don't worry about it. AJ. AJ. What's your name? Are you a Zima knight? Yeah, he has a bathroom on. Yes, I am, Cor. I'm a Zima knight.

No pressure, Black, but like all your shenanigans have been leading to this one moment, don't chuck it up. Thank you, Bargy. Thank you. Cor. Please, call me Cory. I don't want to. You have to. call me Korri. I don't want to.

You have to. It's my name. No. I demand that you do. No. Kor, my name is Plekdak Center. I'm master of the space. I'm master of the stuff. And I'm master of the self. I'm here to save the galaxy.

Save the universe. And you can help me. Okay. You're an acolyte of the fresh. And you can help me. Okay. You're an acolyte of the fresh. Don't you understand? When you return to the past, just remember, you could prevent all of this.

You could avoid having a cybernetic torso blasted into your chest. A what? Blasted into my what? I'll play quick a sec. Yeah. To intrude on what is obviously a very important part of our conversation

between two zebras, but, uh, if if young Corey Balevor here goes through any other portal than the one that he came through, his position in the space-time continuum will have shifted, which puts all 255 Skidoo other Balevors in a state of temporal paradox, which means, well, I don't 100% know, but it's probably better for us than it is for him oh yeah that'll work better wait a minute sorry if it's your destiny to save the galaxy

from me don't I kind of need to become this bad version of me I don't want to like ruin I'm sorry to do this keep it fresh oh you betrayed me whoa the light just poked him so hard AJ, close the portal! Oh, right, I can do that. Portal closed.

Dammit! Oh, wow. Cool. Did you guys steal that light out of my hands? Oh, man. I just needed you to close the portal. That's awesome. What's been happening over there?

I've been straightening things out with 255 other core Baleforce and I... Technically, you've only been straightening things out with 254 Baleforce. What? Wait. Where's Cory? Where's...

Oh, no. Of course. What? Wait. Where's Cory? Where's... Oh. Oh, no. This... Cory! Oh, there's a gun. He's disappearing on his own! Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, they're all disappearing on their own. I don't like this at all. Only a gun's supposed to go up there. Why wouldn't I just disappear into the forest? He doesn't make sense. Oh, that one's going really slowly for some reason. Why is that one so slowly going up its butt? Oh, no!

Oh, boy, yes. maybe just give her a tap. There's only one left. Sam! Sam! Master, what should I do? Remember me as your best friend. Ah, it just feels weird to my best friend, Greg.

Wow. I may never be able to look at buttholes the same way again. Wait, so was that T-Gulp's butthole or just his butt? It's all the same thing. That's awesome. Uh, hey, crew? Yeah. What? I feel like I've said this before, but we did it, you know? Yeah.

Mission accomplished. You said that before? Yeah, but usually it was wrong. But this time, I just feel this weight off my shoulders. It feels like I actually did something right. It's equally strange for me to say I sort of think you maybe saved the galaxy back there. Well, I mean, it was a group effort. I mean, that goes without saying.

Okay, sure, yeah. It was actually my suggestion, too. Okay, yeah, sure. Like I said, group effort. And if pushing a villain through his own butthole isn't a mission accomplished... Yeah, we don't have to... I don't know what is.

We don't have to relive that. Well, I think we all did jobs. Wow. Bargy, I'm sorry. Is this a baboskar? Did you win a baboskar? Yeah, it's not a big deal, but I won a baboskar. What? Bargy? Can I holdkar? Yeah, it's not a big deal, but I won a Baboskar. What?

Can I hold it? Whoa, it's heavy. We really did do it. Yeah, I saw it with you. We sort of won the award for, you know, pushing a bad guy through his own butthole like hundreds of times. AJ, I don't know if you have to. But it was funny. Do you remember how the sound he was making?

He kind of screamed, but he didn't actually get to scream all the way out because he was already up his butt. But it's not me. Yeah, it kind of echoed a little bit. Would you like to hear it? No, no. Yeah, yeah. Hey guys, you know, I think it's maybe time

for a toast, okay? I'd like to raise a glass to the crew of the Bargerian Jay. We did it. We're done. I think we have earned a little break. So let's have a drink and, you know, just relax for a bit. Cheers.

Welcome to toast. Cheers to being finished and no longer having a purpose. Okay. AJ, I don't know if that's... That's a rough way to say it. I'll drink to that. AJ, I don't know if that's... That's a rough way to say it. I'll drink to that. What's that? What's that?

AJ, you just spilled the liquid down the computer helmet. Oh, sorry. Yeah, you gotta take that off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sir. Okay. Hey, can we change the doubles of you

that's in the other ship? Oh, yeah. They're in the culotte which is flying right next to us. Hey, guys! Hey! No, no, Marky.

No, Marky, Marky. Oh, you just bumped the culotta. Oh. I think an air cheer would have been fine. Oh. Oh. Um, crew, I have an incoming transmission from Galactic Leader Nermit Mundeleu. Uh, what?

What? All right. Wow. Great. Wow. Hey, friends. Meme it. Yes.

What's up, man? Hey, hey. How's it going? I just want to make sure you guys are watching this. Watching what? Watching what? I mean, want to make sure you guys are watching this. Watching what? I mean, okay. You should probably turn on any channel. Any channel?

You want us to turn on the any channel? No, no, no, not that. No, that channel is actually terrible. I mean, technically it would be, any, trust me. All right, uh, over and out. Oh. Oh. Weird. Weird.

Could have honestly just told us the news. Yeah, he took the time to call us specifically and then told us to watch the news. Yeah. We interrupt this broadcast of shaving elves. Shaving elves? Oh, I love shaving elves. We interrupt this showing of shaving elves with big, big news. Galactic leader Nervin Bundoy has revealed he's not who he says he is.

We go now live to the galactic leader's throne room. Citizens of the galaxy, I am ashamed to inform you that I am an imposter what? I am not the legitimately elected Nermit Bundeloy oh my rod Nermit are you hearing this? we all knew this already no but he's admitting it

every citizen in the galaxy is watching this right now in fact I am brilliant and reclusive singer songwriter Bermit Nundaloy. What the junk? What do you mean? Remember, he says he's your alter ego. I heard.

And I am renouncing my leadership position in order to go on an endless tour. Wow! Yeah! You can check out Bermit Nundaloy on tour.space. Just Bermit Nundaloy was taken. Hold on. Wait, most of these shows are already sold out. Look at this!

Get your tickets early. Petey Goyle's opening for him. What in the rod-forsaking shitty juck is happening? Shitty juck? You can't just string together curses like that. If any time calls for it, it's this time. I know this might be off topic, but you know who loves shaving elves? This Glenn I knew.

S-E-2-4-0-7. Or update. but you know who loves shaving elves? This Glenn I knew. SE2407. It's not. It's enough of those shaving elves. This will not stand. We recorded that record together. That's right. My new solo hit, I Am You, You Are Me, is trending on all streaming services.

Yo, I just talked about smaller streaming! Okay, Justin. I just pre-signed up. What? No, no, no. And in my place, I hereby relinquish the leadership of the galaxy to the real Nermit Bundaloy, a galactic hero.

A member of an intrepid crew who just hours ago defeated the greatest existential threat, our galaxy. We now return you to your episode of Shaving Elves. What? What? Time to shave! Two goatees, please. How could you order two goatees? One for now and one for later.

A goatee for later? You already showed up in front of all of us. Goatee A goatee for later. You're set up for the walk. Goatee to goatee. Okay, okay. When do we turn it off? AJ, we're not watching Shaving Elves. At least not right now. Maybe later.

We're DVRing it, obviously. Wow. Nermit, did you hear that? Yeah, I did. I hate it. No, no, Mimit Mimiloid just announced in front of everyone that he's giving you leadership of the galaxy. I can't believe it. I can't believe he's going on tour under my name.

No, Nermit. First of all, it's also his name. He came up with it, too, because he's you. Semantics. Nermit, why are you so upset? You got a promotion. Felt like a demotion. You're leader of the galaxy.

All you've talked about for the last year has been about how you were the rightful leader of the galaxy. Yeah, sure. I want that as a day job. Okay. Something stable, you know. So are you saying that's your side hustle, mate? Which? Leader of the Galilee.

Either way, it's... Yeah, I would see 53. There's almost no cool version of this for you. You know what? Actually, it's good that I'm Galactic Leader now, because I can use the full force of my military to take out the fake Bermit Nundaloy. Okay, Nermit. We're going to airstrike each tour date. Nermit, Nermit. Stop.

What? That is absolutely horrible to suggest. You're right, you're right. Airstrikes, it's too obvious. We should have assassins enter from the basement of the arenas. No, Nermit, you can't do that. You're right, you're right, you're right. I just have to get the kill button from Evil Dar.

What? On the other ship. And I get close to that little clone rascal. Nermit, listen to yourself. You get an ounce of power and your ambition just completely takes over. You're a loose cannon. You're right. You're a loose cannon in the field.

You're a loose cannon on the throne. Okay. I mean, I guess a clone of me did become a despot. Yeah. So that kind of. Listen, just take a deep breath. Everything's going to be fine. You can still make your music.

Yikes. Okay. Can I actually have an aside over here? With who? Everybody. Come on, come on. It's just a conversation. It's kind of separate from the earlier one where I was freaking out.

So it's a subject change. Yeah, but if you could just come over here. Yeah, he's the galactic leader, so we do what he says, you know? Okay, AJ, we don't need to fall in line just yet. Hey, sir, at your... whatever you will. Whatever you will. Waiting and willing, sir. Crew, let's do this.

Alright, alright, alright. What is it, Nerman? You guys are right. I'm too impulsive and ambitious to lead. I wasn't going to say that, but... I don't know. I'm going to be the, but... Which is why I'm going to do it.

What? And take you guys with me. Oh. It got worse. It got worse. Think about it. We're a team. It's how we've managed to succeed at everything. Working together. Helping each other.

Succeed at everything is quite a rewrite. I wouldn't say that. But the things we did succeed at, that's why we did. And, you know, come on. Work with me here. I can manage missions operations, like, galactically. And C knows everything about diplomacy and protocol.

Everything about everything, kind of. Yeah. It's kind of you to say. See? I don't know if as a group we're really cut out to lead. But Plek, look, even what you're just saying, you're the affable everyman. We need someone who doesn't think they're up for it and other people wouldn't think is probably qualified.

Like, you could be the sort of face of... Are you saying I fill the role of what is that guy doing there? No, but, like, they can imagine themselves doing it no matter how little they know. Okay. You need that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, before I drank all that blue liquid, I probably shouldn't be. But now since I'm totally yoked, I think I probably could be.

Yeah, I mean, AJ, since you've gone ultra, I think you're totally leadership material. Ever since I went ultra, things have gotten better. But, like, honestly, even before that, AJ, for a legitimately dumb sentient, you are such a good problem solver. Wow. That was both pleasant and mean at the same time. Do you have one of those for me, Nermit? I mean, Dar, the glint in my eye, the shoot to my ladder, the one of us who's been captain? Should Dar just be the galactic leader?

Should we just do that? Call it a day? No, no, no. I couldn't. You're making a good case for that. With a sensuality that can distract them from any important task, honestly. You're making... Shh.

Say no more. I'm happy to be first partner. I don't think that's... I mean, we think we're all... That's the role! Okay, okay. A little early to pick titles, but... Mine would be cultural attitude if I got to pick.

I just said we're not picking yet. I'm just saying, if we get to pick, that's what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. Well, it sounds like y'all are going to have a lot of fun. And I wish you all a lot of fun. You're not coming with us? I just got a baboska, okay? I have people ringing me left and right.

I have faxes coming in. No, no, no, Barchi, Barchi, you are a critical part of this, too. You're ship of the stars, dreamer of the land. That's me. I mean, just think, there's never been a ship in a high government post. You would be a liaison to all sentient ships. This could be huge. Plus, you're a baboska winner.

It's exactly what we need to win over the vast majority of constituents who only care about a leader's star power. That's a good point. If there's one thing I know, more people in the entertainment business should get into politics. I don't really think about it. I don't know. There's got to be some money involved, right, Nermy? Oh, yeah. It's a paid gig.

How much? Wait,, it's a paid gig. How much? Wait, just slip me a paper. Okay, I'm gonna write a number. Just tell me what you think of this number. Where do I actually show it? Just slide it and reveal it. Just slide it anywhere on the ship.

Just across this counter and that's across this counter. I'm gonna slide it to the Just across his counter. And that's across his counter. I'm going to slide it to the other part of your console. Come on, Barge. If you're in, all six of us are in. I'm in. No questions asked. Okay, thanks, Justin.

And you know what? It'll make Centurion and his Zalkatron fridge boy so jealous. They're all in the other galaxy, right? Yeah, they are. Also, I don't have a family. Oh, Justin.

You got us, buddy. Yeah, we're your... My daughter's dad. My got us, buddy. Yeah, we're your... I mean, we don't... My daughter's dad. My mama's mother. I have no friends. I dropped out of school. You're supposed to be in school right now?

Okay. You know, Bargy, I gotta say, I think Nermit might be right. I mean, I know that I wanted to have one single moment free from the burden of galactic responsibility just, you know, for a second. But, yeah. Maybe this is

what this has all been leading towards, you know? We're not always perfect, but we have done a lot of good for the galaxy. We took down the Alliance, and the Emperor, and the All Wheat, and Kor Baelvor. We took down some people we shouldn't have taken down. Dale comes to mind.

Okay, yeah. Yes, and a few people. Yeah, those were mistakes, obviously, but I think this is maybe our calling. If anything, this proves probably we shouldn't be running around the galaxy causing more trouble. Maybe we're best as figureheads. That's a good point, actually.

Huh? Okay. I'll do it. Oh, Bargy, really? Are you serious? Oh, Barge! Yep. I will turn Shady Owls back on.

Oh, okay. That's not really what... Yeah, that wasn't exactly the query. Hey! There we go. Bargy loves to book. Yeah, you're doing it, Bargy. Maggies. Oh, a mustache!

I don't mind if I do! Ooh! Sounds sick! And so, with their prophecies fulfilled and the universe pulled from the brink of annihilation, our heroes set about the noble task of restoring the galaxy to prosperity. Together, they formed a new and benevolent galactic leadership. A harmonious coalescence of justice, kindness, wisdom, and, sure, a pinch of space magic. With just enough reluctance and ineptitude to stave off corruption.

Yes, Plek Dexeter. C-53. Da. to stave off corruption. Yes, Plek Dexeter, C-53, Dar, Nermut Bundeloy, AJ-2884, the Bargerian Jade, and Justin Ballweet, seven best friends together from the beginning,

formed the Allied Federation. They have ruled the galaxy justly for many years and will do so for many more to come. And as for the Beanecron, he kept a watchful spiral eye over the galaxy and the Federation he loved so dearly, always leading it alternately toward and away from chaos in perfect balance, as he had for millennia past and as he would for millennia into the future. And that, so far, is the story of Bino. Bino loved the story of Bino. Yes, Bino. So do I.

Thank you for the story. Beano love you. I love you too, brother. Good night, Horse Hat. Good night, Beano. Sleep tight. Horse Hat, your Uncle Puck is here, come say hello. I'll be right there. To be continued... I'm sorry. Sambo! Wink Sambo

Did you have the same crazy dream I had? I think so Wait, but tell me what you saw I saw this group of ambassadors And they worked for the Federated Alliance But then they became rebels And in this dream, you know, we were there too, and then... We were? Yeah, and they overthrew the Emperor,

and then they got lost in the other galaxy, and then they came back to save the day and become rulers of the galaxy, but I guess it was all just a dream. Wow! Wait, is that the crew with Valkyrie and Jade? Oh! Was this a memory?

Not a dream? Yeah! Oh. I just had a dream we did a bunch of dust. Also a memory, Wink. Also a memory. Oh! Huh.

Well, I guess we should get back to guarding the orbs of Thragas. That's what we do. That's what we've always done. And they're all still here, right where they've been the entire time on Rangus 6. That's right. This is CRED IT5. Credits and attributions droid commencing outro protocol. Plek Decksetter and Plint 3.0 were played by Alden Ford. C-53, C-53, and Scram were played by Jeremy Bent.

Dar and Evil Dar were played by Ali Kokesh. Archie the Ship and Justin Balwi were played by Mujan Zolfagari. Nermit Bundaloy and Numit Mimoloy were played by Seth Lind. AJ, Cameron, Bino, and the Kulada were played by Winston Knoll. Horse Hat, All Grown Up was played by Jeremy Lind. AJ, Cameron, Vino, and the Coolada were played by Winston Knoll. Horse Hat, all grown up, was played by Jeremy Crutchley. Captain Cameron, I have an incoming transmission from Senior Missions Operations Manager,

Mement by Malloy. Thank you, my sweet, sweet C-53B. Put it through. On screen. No, no, no, no. Don't. I don't want to see Mimit right now. What's going on, Evil John?

I owe Mimit a callback. We haven't really, you know, settled on where we're at in our relationship. This is boring. Okay. Relationship drama's boring. Crew, can we get to the call from Mimit? I've been on. Oh.

I did say on screen. Yeah, I'm here. Oh, Mimit, what's up, dude? Hey, yeah, what's up, dude? Mimit, I thought you were still on tour. Oh, a couple of the dates got canceled. One, I was opening for a puppet show. I love a puppet show.

Hey, I can't do the mission today. Wait, why? I scheduled self-care. No, you can't just skip the mission. Well, I can't skip self-care. Well, maybe this will still work out because as the number one ambassador team of the Allied Federation, your mission today is to establish relations with every type of delicious shrimp on Shrimp Island. Oh, yeah. Shrimp Island.

Would that satisfy the requirements of a self-care day? Come on. Yes to the maximum. Can't freeze. Yes to the maximum. Cool catchphrase, Kula. Like I always say, yes to the maximum. You know, Kula, I gotta say, we're not very funny, but we have a great time. All 255 Skidoo Corp. Beowores and Corey Beowore were played by special guest Brennan Lee Mulligan.

Brennan is the creator and GM for Dimension 20 and a college humor cast member. He has taught and performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, co-created the webcomic Strong Female Protagonist, and written dozens of LARPs for the Wayfinder Experience Summer Camp in upstate New York. Did you have a chance to look at the menu? Uh, yeah.

I'm going to do the shrimp and grits and an orange beer. Right away, sir. Hold on a second. Karn? Do I know you? You're the first person to properly pronounce my name. No, away, sir. Hold on a second. Karn? Do I know you? You're the first person to properly pronounce my name. No, no, no. What are you doing here? Well, right now I'm working the brunch shift, but Blimpie

says there's going to be an opening for the dinner. Shut up. You don't belong in this dimension. I'm sending you back. Well, at this point thousands of years have passed in my dimension. Did I ask for your life story? Listen, my powers are back. The galaxy is in balance. I gotta clean house, you know? Gotta get to inbox zero

if you know what I mean. But I've actually sort of made a life for myself here. No! Two was played by Jonathan Braylock. Bobo Scars crowd sounds by our season five finale spectacular live show audience. This episode was edited by Seth Lind and Alden Ford.

Sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Fames Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Additional music by Shane O'Connell, Brendan Ryan, Eric Gerson, and Stephen Chikowsky. Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Boyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast. Durf. Huh? Old Durf. Hello, what? Hey, who is this? How'd you get this great number? It's me. It's Plek Dexeter. I fulfilled my destiny and I have ascended.

Sorry, let me just look through all... I've got a lot of prophecies on my desk here. Let me just look through. Yeah, I've got a good filing system. It's just underneath some different cans. It's me. It's Plek. The pink guy? The shorts?

Yes. You? You are the plaque. The pink guy? The shorts? No. Yes. You? You were the one that saved the universe? Yeah. You told me that was going to happen. Hey, guys. It was the plaque. The pink one. Yeah, with the eye and the bump. We're all losing it over here. We know. You are the long shot. Are you in a basement right now?

Yeah, well, basement implies house above, which I don't have. But, yes, I am in a basement. Hey, do you need a roommate? Like a fun old guy that likes to chuck around and maybe... Do I need a roommate? Yeah, you need one. You don't need one. Do you...

Let me ask you. Could you handle one? Could you handle one? Stop it right there. No, no, I couldn't. You know what? I just wanted to tell you everything worked out. Thanks for your help.

Oh, sorry. I was just jucking around for a second there. Did you say something? Yeah, never mind. Never mind. Yeah, it's not important. All right, well, goodbye forever. I'm going to, I've been shot in

the heart and I'm dead. Bye. What? No. Old Dirt was played by Justin Tyler.

Mission to Six would like to thank all the people who supported the show along the way. Audio Boom, Brendan Regan, Eric Braun,

Ben Lilly, Charles Pulliam Moore, Nick Douglas, Ira Glass, Jesse Thorne, Vikram Chatterjee, Stacy Mulski, Kira Gowan, Daniel Barwella, and the rest of the Maximum Fun team. Our incredible special guests, our amazing live show audiences, our parents, spouses, significant others, and horse hats. NeNe. Our heroic Season 2 supporters on Patreon. Our intrepid supporters on Maximum Fun. Becca and Brandon, hosts of the Zix Fancast and ZixCon. The incredible artists who made fan art, fan fiction, fan theories, made costumes, got tattoos, wrote reviews, wiki entries, letters of gratitude, and letters of support.

And you are listening to the show. No, young apprentice, there is no text in the library of the Zima that refers to a Plek deck setter. That has to be wrong. Listen, my name is Corey Balefor, okay? I was training in one of the training yards. I was practicing, and a portal opened up, and I got sucked out by a horrifying robot man that I found out is maybe going to be me. I don't know. horrifying robot man that I found out is maybe going to be me.

I don't know. But the point is, there's got to be some prophecy, because the guy who shoved me back in the portal and saved me from having to be part of a bad army of myself was named Plak Dexeter. He said it was in a prophecy. So it's got to be here somewhere. The fanciful tales of a young apprentice left daydreaming too long. Look, man, I'm telling the truth.

Hey, don't grab my robe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you're going to laugh in my face and explain. I was crying so hard for an hour. You told me you turned into a robot. That's a dream, nerd. Don't call me a nerd. This morning, I thought

nothing could ever make me whack. And then I went to the future and saw that I maybe become whack one day, and I was like, how would that happen? Interacting with you in this moment, I see a clear line from A to B, and it's mostly you. Turn away from your

whack impulses, young one. Help me do that by being, jucking reasonable. We don't have the prophecy. Okay. Hey, listen. Listen. Uh, yeah. Yeah, you know what? You're right. I was daydreaming, and now I'm wide awake. Better study some Zima scrolls.

Yes, excellent instinct, young one. Start here at one of our earliest works about Korm the Blessed. Do you have a pen, by the way? I need to write down... It's blue. I don't know if that's...

I'll just take the blue one. Give me the blue one. Thank you. Here you go. The day will come in the far-flung future of the galaxy where a noble warrior will restore balance to the space and save us all. His name shall be Plek Dexeter. Note, totally winging it on the spelling of Plek Dexeter.

Only got the name verbally. Oh, he found me. Give me that. Mission to Zix has been a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. This concludes the story of Beano, also known as Mission to Zix, an improvised, serialized science fiction podcast. Thank you for listening. Oh my gosh, hi. I'm Dave Holmes, host of the pop culture trivia podcast Troubled Waters.

On Troubled Waters, we play games like motivational speeches. It goes a little like this. Riley, give us an improvised motivational speech on why people should listen and subscribe to Troubled Waters. I look around this ad and I see a lot of potential to listen to comedians such as Jackie Johnson and Josh Dondelman, and they need you to get out there and listen to them attempt to figure out sound Reba's clues or determine if something is a Game of Thrones character or a city in Wales. I have chills. I'm going to give you 15 points. All that and so much more on Troubled Waters. Find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you choose to listen to podcasts.

Hey there, beautiful people. I'm Travelle Anderson. And I'm Jared Hill. We are the hosts of Fanti, the show where we have complex and complicated conversations about the gray areas in our lives, the things that we really, really love sometimes, but also have some problematic feelings about. Yes, we get into it all you want to know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness we got you you want to know our

thoughts about gentrification and perhaps some positive question mark aspects of gentrification we get into that too every single Thursday you can check us out at maximumfun.org listen you know you want it honey so come on and get it. Period. MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.

Why would time work this way? Why wouldn't I just disappear into the portals? Why my butt? It doesn't make sense. The portals are still invisible. They're still here. Oh, that one's going really slowly for some reason. Why is that one so slowly going up?

Kill me! Oh, no. Oh, boy. Yeah, he's really going through it over there. Oh, that one's stuck. It's like half in, half out. Howdy, y'all. This is the Corbeil Wolf from Cowboy Dimension.

I'm getting sucked up my keister. Yeah, maybe just give him a tap. That one was from a different dimension. Yeah. Is that how the staff works? You start pulling through multiple doors. It's going to get weird. This video's going viral. You're recording this, Justin?

Turn off your Talk Talk. Content is key, bro. Yeah, content is king.