Mission To Zyxx - Cube1000Cube

Episode Date: June 5, 2020

Bargie and C-53 get a special delivery, inspiring them to record a brand new episode of⁠—you guessed it⁠—CUBE2CUBE!!This off-week release is made possible by our new sponsor Role.The Zyxx crew stands alongside black communities and the protesters. If you're looking for ways to help, consider making a donation to one of the charities, funds or organizations listed here.If you're looking to add some black voices to your podcast feed, we can recommend a few familiar ones:Adulting (w/Jordan Carlos and Michelle Buteau)Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood (w/Jonathan Braylock, James III and Jerah Milligan)Best Friends (w/Sasheer Zamata and Nicole Byer)

Hey everyone, Alden Ford here. For a long time, we've tried to keep this show separate from what's happening in the real world. We've heard a lot over the years that our show has helped some of our listeners through some tough times, and we've heard from others that our show is a welcome break from what reality has been dishing out the rest of the week. And those comments really mean the world to us. But at a certain point, it's a moral imperative to speak up about what we believe. We have the privilege of a platform that reaches people throughout the country and the world, and silence in a moment like this is complicity. Black Lives matter. The violence perpetrated by the state against black communities

in our country is pervasive and it's insidious. And confronting the systemic racism in our society and in each other and in ourselves can be really difficult. It can be hard to know where to start. But we believe that one step we can take is to show our support for Black communities and to encourage our audience to do the same. This week, as luck would have it, we have a sponsor. So we've donated that revenue to three different charities. The Police Reform Organization Campaign Zero, the Minneapolis-based Black Visions Collective, and the Black and Pink National Bail Fund for Black LGBTQ People. Sci-fi podcast ad revenue may not make the biggest dent in the grand scheme of things,

but it was something in our power to do in this moment. If you are also looking for ways to help, we've posted a link in the show notes to an extensive list of charities, bail funds, and other organizations that benefit black communities. And if you're looking to add some black voices to your podcast queue, we've also posted links to some podcasts that we love, featuring some familiar Zix voices like Jordan Carlos, Sashia Zameda, and Jonathan Braylock. This is an overwhelming, heartbreaking, and infuriating time. We're lucky to have the opportunity to make this show for you. It helps us through as well.

Stay safe, stay loud, and thank you for listening. This is CRED IT5 with an announcement. Although this is an off week on Mission to Zix's bi-weekly episode schedule, we have a very special surprise release today made possible by our new sponsor, Roll, which is an amazing online role-playing game community. More info during the ad break. And now, buckle up for the newest installment of your favorite podcast hosted by AIs on drugs. Hey, C-53?

Yes? How do you send an outgoing package? You just need to contact whatever courier service you want to use and ship, take it wherever it's going to go. Great. Yeah, we got a piece of misdelivered mail, I guess, here. Oh. Yeah, somebody dropped off a package in the hatch and that's not to any of us, so... Who's it addressed to?

I don't know these people. It's to Seaf and the Squid? Hmm. Why don't... Let me just... I'll just take it from you. Oh, it's for... Okay. Barge, it's for Anton. Wait. Oh, sweet, sweet Anton.

Wait, the package is for you? It came through. Ah, sweet darling boy, Anton. Wait, who is Anton? Who are Seaf and the Squid? Oh, Seaf and the Squid are names we go by on a show called Cube to Cube. Cube to Cube. Sometimes I go by Big Seaf.

I go by the Squid. And Anton is a good friend. Sometimes I say, great gift. Wait, by the squid. And it is a good friend. Hey, great gift. Wait, are you guys still doing Cube to Cube? We're not still doing Cube to Cube. Cube to Cube is still coming out. We recorded a lot of episodes. Yeah, we recorded, what was it, like, 999 in a week?

It was a lot. Oh, so you have, like, a backlog that you can just release over the course of years, right? Oh, no, we put out about four to five episodes a day. A day? A day. In fact, we're actually coming up on 999th episode in a matter of hours. Oh, there it is. It dropped.

Oh, man, I'm not caught up. I'm on 78. Do I need to listen to them in order? No, and now that sweet, sweet Anton's package has arrived, I think it's time for us to do our 1,000th episode. Put down the hyper-proton fuel. We all know what's going to happen. Put it down, C.

AJ, listen, you are not your robot man's keeper, all right? So, this is Sunday in the Curl of Car. I don't think it is, AP. All right, let's hang in and do an episode, see you. Let's do it! Let's go, Squee! What's up? Ba-ba-ba-da-ba.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-ba. Ba-ba-ba-da-ba. Ba-ba-ba-da-ba. Cube to Cube. Safe, baby, safe. Squee, we're back in the saddle, recapping our previous 999 episodes of Cubed Cube. This is Cubed Cube with your two favorite hosts. It's me, Bajie.

Hey, King, the squid. Your bottom layer is C-53. I forgot it. I forgot your nickname. That's okay. Maybe it'll come back to you. Over the course of this, top five eps from the past 999. That's 994 episodes that we say, no thank you to.

But before we get to our top five clips of that, let's do housekeeping. Housekeeping, housekeeping. So housekeeping number one. We ask each other how we're feeling on an emotional and physical level. Right now, amazing. Never been worse. Okay, well, that's the emotion read. and physical level. Right now? Amazing. Never been worse. Okay. Well, that's the emotion read.

Number two. Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack. What is it? Quack. What's going on?

What's up, housekeeping? Oh, boy. Too late. We're moving on. Too late. You missed your chance. You missed your chance. Missed your chance. I'm sweeping, sweeping, sweeping away.

Keeping that house clean. House clean. Classy. You know, we've been through a lot. You know, this podcast, we've gone crazy. We've said very offensive things. We've also established rules that we broke immediately within the podcast itself. We said it was only going to be about pop culture, but that was not true.

We got bored immediately. Then we became a technical advice podcast, but, you know, I don't know anything. The reviews were bad. And then we had that one month where we were very political. Again, an unpopular decision that served our reviews badly. Well, let's start the episode, huh? Let's go to our top five episode clips that we've really enjoyed. Top one is your five.

What? That's a number five. So this is a clip from episode 323, where we briefly became a true crime podcast. That's when they saw the body lying there in its limbs. You really can't be in the crime scene area. This is off limits right here. If you could stay back. And then there was this annoying guy who was around the body.

You kept telling us to leave. I'm a forensic scientist, ma'am. Somebody really drunk on the power of their position. Thinks they can obstruct justice. Honestly, you are sullying the evidence. This is making it much harder to solve this grisly... Little did they know that the murderer was in the room. Are you... Wait, what?

Who? You heard her. Is it you, buddy? Gotta go! Whoa! What? What? Wow. You know, I was thinking that clip was a little, like, maybe not

top five worthy, but we found a murderer. We did. And then he spent one day in jail. He got off because his daddy is the mayor. Let's get criminal justice system in the next quadrant for you. What are you going to do? Well, let's go to clip four. There's someone at the...

Number four. What? This is a clip from episode number 208. I remember this like it was seven months ago, and within a week we did 999 episodes. I definitely know what this clip is about. Yep, a very memorable episode. I don't know what this clip's gonna be.

Hey, see, we should have nicknames. Absolutely, we're a popular podcast. We could be using our real names. No, uh, what if I call you, um, uh... I'm C-53. So my nickname would be... Ska... Squazfith?

Squazfith? You're making my name longer, Margie. Your nickname makes the name shorter. Squazfith? Squazfith? Squazfith? Squared. The squid!

Not so bad. I love water. It makes a lot of sense. I'm the Squid. Nah, I like it. I wanna be the Squid. Okay! Throwing it right back at Bargy. Bargy the Squid. I still need a nickname though. I mean, what is a nickname? It's just a shorter version of your name. I'm Steven D. Drake. Carol.

Well, that was clip number four. It took us about 800 other episodes for us to figure out. It did. It took a long time to come around. We got it. It took a long time. We got it. You know, looking back at the wiki here, we didn't come up with C for episode 922.

So it took us a while. The squid is remained. I agree. Hey, AJ, thank you for updating the wiki. No problem. I love you guys. But, Hey, AJ, thank you for updating the wiki. No problem. I love you guys, but, like, I really think you're hurting yourselves. Now it's time for some beachy ass behind the scenes. Let's go behind the scenes.

We're nose around backstage. Behind the scenes. A lot of different fans and listeners ask us, what is our process? Steve, please explain. Well, listener, let me throw it out there that Hyperproton Fuel is a big part of our process. And this podcast, truly, would not exist. So, step one, obtain Hyperproton Fuel. Step two, have 999 episodes of the best podcast to ever exist.

Thank you for your question. That's behindzines. Now, before we move forward, let's do some voicemails. Voicemails. We're sorry. Squidward got the old inbox today. Let's listen. Hi there, this is Dweez Messel at Pondtrough.

Listen, we've never done this, but your ratings are so low that we are asking you to cease production of Cube to Cube. Listen, again, it's a free platform. We gain or lose nothing by you being on Pondtrough. But just personally, as CEO, I'm asking you to stop production of Cube to Cube. Goodbye. I blanked out for a moment, so it sounded like they wanted more episodes.

Hey, listen, Gweez, you better hook up a fat pipe to that pod job of yours, because you're about to get a bunch more episodes of Cube to Cube. Granted, any more? Yeah, we got 18 more. I'm not listening to those. Delete. Hey, when you look back at the history of the pod, what are five words that come to mind? Sharp.

Yes. Terrifying. Yes. Good times. Wow. Is that two words or just one? Yeah. Great.

That's it. That's all I got. And all of these describe our next clip. Three. Where both C and I make very emotional calls to people from our past for fun. But first, we got to do a little more Hyperbondon fuel. We'll see you in a minute. Thank you.

Hey, Nermit. Oh, hey, Blake. What's up? Do you have a second? I have a favor to ask. Sure. I have to read this ad copy for Barchi and C-53 while they refuel. And I just. Oh, cool. I just know you and C53 while they refuel. And I just...

Oh, cool. I just know you're sort of like a recording guy, so I figured... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me know if I should, like, do anything again or... Okay. You know, okay. I got it. I got it.

Support for Cube2Cube comes from Roll, a new kind of platform for online role-playing games. So it's new? Roll? Yeah. The platform? Yeah, I mean, I guess so. That's what it says in the... Cool.

Okay. Okay. Craving a game experience that feels genuinely intimate and powerfully creative? Yeah. Yeah. Roll is a premium online community for collaborative, powerful, and accessible narrative role-playing. More than just searching dungeons and slaying dragons, Roll is the place where... It's definitely not dragon. That I know. Dragon. Dragons. How else would you pronounce it? I don't know, Roll is the place where... It's definitely not dragon. That I know.

Dragon. Dragons. How else would you pronounce it? I don't know, but I just have a feeling that's wrong. Go ahead. Okay. More than just searching dungeons and slaying dragons, Roll is the place where diverse voices gather to discover new worlds, meet lifelong friends, and adventure together.

Wait, that's our whole thing. That's our whole thing. Yeah, this sounds like... I think this is sort of like a fictional version of what we do in real life. Through high-quality video tools... So on the weekend, I could basically be doing work. Do you have notes for me? I'm giving you a note, sort of.

I'm asking you if I do this on the weekend or at night, I could be doing cool work stuff even off hours. I mean, yeah. Okay. Okay. Through high-quality video quality video tools marketplace discovery and player matching services you'll have everything you need to imagine stories that represent you join the next wave of online narrative play check out their kickstarter running now for exclusive first access to both their online tools and six original role-playing games from a range of indie creators. Visit playroll.com to be among the first to join this community when it launches later this year.

That's playroll.com. later this year. That's playroll, R-O-L-E dot com slash Z-Y-X-X. I see my XX and I'm in it. I'm almost done. Okay, then finish. Are you at the website right now? Yeah, it looks great. I don't, this isn't an ad for you. I'm not advertising to you right now. You are. I'm the only one you're talking to and I like it.

This is for, I mean. We believe in the power of authentic narrative play. Me too. Okay, never mind. I'm, I'm, what? What are you doing? like it this is for i mean we believe in the power of authentic narrative play me too okay i'm what what are you doing i'm reading the cool stuff on the website for role okay fine that's play roll r-o-l-e dot com slash z-y-x-x or find the link in the episode notes or ask nermit because apparently he's a big jacking fan not in the copy but yes you can you can call me directly player i'm gonna get i going to be the first one. Okay, I got to go.

Six indie games? Are you kidding me? Support. Welcome back to Cube to Cube. To recap, it's Cube to Cube. Now we're about to listen to some emotional phone calls. Hit, hit, hit the clip. Hello?

Hey, it's Bungie. I told you to never call here. I just want to call and say I'm sorry. No, no, you're slurring. I just want to call and say I'm so sorry. You're slurring. I'm so sorry for what I did. No. I'm so sorry for what I did. No. I'm so sorry for what I did.

Don't call again. See you later. See you for brunch. What? No. Bart, you didn't hear the other end of that conversation, but it sounds like you did great. Mud under the rug. As the saying goes. As the saying goes.

All right, you're 10-C. Hello? Hey. As the saying goes. As the saying goes. All right, you 10-C. Ah, there we go. Hello? Hey. You going to brunch with the squid? What? Who are you?

You're talking to Seaf right now, big boy. Who's the squid? Who's the squid? You even listen to our show? What show? Are you friends with Bargy? I don't have time to answer all these questions. I just wanted to go on the set.

No. Are you Bargy's drug buddy? What is going on? I'm really sorry. Please stop. Please. Hold on, I have another call. Okay. Hello?

No! That was from episode 444 when we were in kind of a down period. Yikes! See how quickly old issues can be resolved! That's making progress here on Cube to Cube. Alright, Cubeheads,

we're going into the number two best episode of Cube to Cube. Cube to Cube. Cube to Cube. That's right. It's episode 672. The episode where we kidnapped the galactic poet laureate, Tophon. Yeah, we kidnapped him. Had a great sit down with him.

There it is. I wish not to be here upon this dark ship where you've taken me and clipped clipped clipped me to the wall of this ship ship ship where you will not let me go no no no but you

have no slam poet or something is there another kind of poet? Yeah. Poets who do not slam? Well, that is not the type of poet that I

am. Nope. Here it is. Well, it's gotta go down as one of our worst decisions. Worst. But you know what's a great way we took the podcast? Oh,

several. Drum roll here. This is the number one best episode of QQ. Q. I go high, you go low One That's right, you guessed it. It's episode 956.

56. Where we... Where a prank call goes a little wrong. And... Right? Boom. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Nermin Bundeloy here, also management of Bermit Nundeloy. Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're, we're looking to book Bermit Nundeloy for a private event. Oh, excellent. I, uh, have access to him. Yes. Can you tell me the date? I'll check his schedule. It's quite packed, but I don't know if you'll get like... Oh, wow, he is available. That's so great. Okay. Can I ask about the event? Are you looking for acoustic? Do you need a backing band? Do you want to play the hits? Deep tracks? Well, only deep tracks, please.

play the hits? Deep tracks? Well, only deep tracks, please. Wow, okay. No, that can be arranged. I don't know if you've met him. He's like, he's one of those cool guys that's approachable. Long story short, we ended up having to make up a gig because we felt really bad. We were very embarrassed by that one.

Some pranks have an emotional cost. Hey, everybody. Thought there'd be more people here But happy for the gig I was asked for deep tracks So here we go Woo, Nermy Alright

Staring out from the cliffs of Philem Thinking of dreaming of Wondering of them Them Who's them do you think? Them is dark Thinking of, dreaming of, wondering of them. Who's them, do you think? Them is dark. Them, them, them is dark. You gotta give it up for some of those deep cuts, am I right?

Berman Unlockheads? What next? Oh, yes. They say I'm small, but I'm not small. They say I'm small, but it's not true. They say I'm small, but I'm not small. They say I'm small, but it's not true. They say I'm small, but I'm so big. They say I'm me, but I might be you. If you're big, then we're the same size.

Same. We do. That's right. Wow. No good. Burn it. I'm going to take that. Burn it.

Burn it. Burn it. You gotta take that. Burn it. Burn it. Burn it. Wow, see? That was amazing looking back. Squid, I can't believe how many great episodes we've done on this podcast. You can't get killed. I'm a little different being on a hyper proton fuel while being in this loader frame. I feel super strong.

Honestly, I feel like I could lift you. Yeah. I kind of want to go outside the ship and lift you. Do it. All right, we're going. Do it. Opening up my hatch. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting picked up. I'm floating free in space, but I would say I probably won't be good. Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody. We're so tired.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye night, everybody. We're so tired. Bye. and Attribution Stride Commencing Outro Protocol. Seath was played by Jeremy Benn. The Squid was played by Mujan Zafagari. Plek Dexer and Patra, CEO Dweez Messel, were played by Alden Ford. Captain Dar was played by Ellie Kokesh. AJ and Bargy's Estrange Friend were played by Winston Null. Nuret Bundeloid and Slam Poet Laureate Telfon Toodledoo were played by Seth Lind. Sound Design, Mix, Original Music,

and Cube to Cube Bumpers by Shane O'Connell. Edited by Seth Lind. Theme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian symphonic orchestra. Shift design by Broderian Jade by Eric Goiz. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Thanks to Roll for making this episode possible. Join their online role-playing community

at playroll.com slash zix, where you can also back their Kickstarter. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. where you can also back their Kickstarter. Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Hi, I'm James, host of Minority Corner, which is a podcast that's all about intersectionality. It's hosted by James, the guest host, every week.

Discussing all sorts of wonderful issues, nerdy and political. Pop culture. Black, queer, feminism. Race, sexuality. News. You're going to learn. Race, sexuality. News. You're going to learn your history, their self-empowerment, and it's told by what feels like your best friend. Why should someone listen to Minority Corner? Why not?

Oh my God, free stuff. There's not free stuff. The listeners of Minority Corner will enjoy some necessary LOLs, but mainly a look at what's happening in our world through a colorful lens. People will get the perspective of marginalized communities. I feel heard. I feel seen. Like you said, you need to understand how to be more proactive in your community. And this is a great way to get started.

Join us every Friday on MaxFun or wherever you get your podcasts. Minority Corner. Because together, we're the majority. Hey, everyone. It's I, John Hodgman of the Judge John Hodgman podcast. And I, Elliot Kalin of the Flophouse podcast. And we've made a whole new podcast, a 12-episode special miniseries called I, Podius, in which we recap, discuss, and explore the very famous 1976 BBC miniseries about ancient Rome called I, Claudius.

We've got incredible guests such as Gillian Jacobs, Paul F. Tompkins, as well as star of I, Claudius, Sir Patrick Stewart, and his son, non-Sir Daniel Stewart. Don't worry, Dan, you'll get there someday. I, Claudius is the name of the show. Every week from MaximumFun.org for only 12 weeks. Get them at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. MaximumFun.org.

Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. Are you like a slam poet or something? Is there another kind of poet? Yeah, there's like a bunch. Poets who do not slam? Well, that is not the type of poet that I am.

Oh, boy. There it is. Some call me door. Some call me car door. You're done. You're done. I'm done. That's the blackout for sure.

I see. Give him a nickname. Give him a nickname. Give him a nickname. Alright. Slam Shepard comes to mind. Jeez Louise.