Mission To Zyxx - Cube2Cube

Episode Date: October 30, 2019

THE HOTTEST FRESHEST MOST JUCKED UP POP CULTURE PODCAST IS BACK WITH THE SALTIEST TAKES, THE HOTTEST GOSS AND A WHOLE LOT OF **HOUSEKEEPING** (INSERT LASERS HERE). WITH UR HOSTS BARGIE AND C53 AND ALSO SOME JUICCCY GUESTS U NEVER GUESS WHO AJ. SPONSORED BY SWEET BABY DADDY HYPER-PROTON FUEL, GUZZLE GUZZLE TOOT TOOT AND SUBSCRIBE, MOTHERJUCKERS!!!!!!1111Starring:Moujan Zolfaghari as BargieJeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterWinston Noel as AJWith a cameo by Shane O’Connell Edited by Seth LindRecording, original music, sound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellAudio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.Thanks to our MaxFun supporters for making the show possible!

This is CRet IT5, the special off-season minisode. The following audio file was found on a microchip at the abandoned offices of the Essentially Entertaining Podcast Network, and its broadcast to you has been made possible by our heroic supporters on Maximum Fun. And if you're a Maximum Fun member, check the bonus feed right now for a new exclusive episode that we recorded live at the PodX Podcast Festival. Want in? Join at MaximumFun.org slash donate. festival. Want in? Join at MaximumFun.org slash donate. And now, please enjoy the only surviving episodes of the

award-losing podcast, Cube to Cube. It's time for Cube to Cube with the two favorite hosts, Spudgy. Yeah, I see if you heard me that time. Welcome to Cube to Cube, where we're talking straight from my cube to Bargy's central processing unit, which doesn't have a cube to it. I don't have a cube.

It was a snappier name for a bucket. That's right! As you're at home, Bargy, we're gonna do a little housekeeping before it gets to the matter of discussing pop culture. Housekeeping, house housekeeping. The weather today is pretty good. Outside looks pretty dark because we're in space.

Housekeeping number one. Right, inside the vacuum of space, there's no weather. The weather today is pretty good. Outside looks pretty dark because we're in space. Housekeeping number one. Right, inside the vacuum of space, there's no weather. And if you're experiencing weather, you're in a self-contained atmosphere. Number two, number two. It's time for number two. We got some mail. We got some mail from our fans. What's this one?

What does it say? I can't read. All right, I'm having trouble focusing on it, but it seems to be. Hey, so how does this podcast work exactly? If you both run on a liquid fuel substance, one's a ship, one's a droid, and somehow you can both bounce in. Hey, buddy, I got all the answers for you.

Who said that? Name them. The person who said this letter, his name is Plek. Plek? Yeah, they're in deep space. Plek? That's a weird name. Plek? Plek? Plek? Plek?

Plek? Yeah, what is it, guys? Did you say this letter? Oh, yeah, you have my letter. Are you reading it on your podcast? Third thing for housekeeping get rid of black All right last week we got a lot of complaints people said they didn't understand what we were saying because we were talking too fast Well, guess what this week we're going even faster We got a lot of amazing guests today, We're going to talk about pop culture.

We're going to talk about culture that's poppin'. We're going to talk about the ground and the ceiling and substances that are solid and gassy. If you think it's going to stop there, you're wrong. Let's get into pop culture. Okay, you're thinking about Duke today? Pop culture? So, Bargy, what are you looking at in pop culture

that's got you excited this week? Oh, wow. So, I recently saw a movie. I forget the name of it. So, like, try and help me out here. Sure. It's about, like, a small ship that goes through the sky and then a bigger ship and they, like, meet.

Okay, so it sounds like a buddy ship comedy. But the weird thing is, like, what's, like, got me, like, real right up is the fact that I know them both and they're both, like, a bunch of fools. Whoa. It's played by jacob major the ship i know you i know you have to come to show guests to the pod we're asking you to be a guest on the pod won't you guess on a pond see if anything was something you saw pop culture this week that blew your mind but you can't always say about this thing every experience

are you familiar with the magazine droids on Roids? It's a magazine only for lifter droids about lifting the most they possibly lift. I'm not a lifter droid. Like, wow, what an interesting subculture that I've never considered before. Wow, hey, it's time to listen to some voicemails from some of our listeners.

Voicemail. We're sorry. All right. Hi, I, Hi, what is this number? I'm very alone. I'm very cold. Oh, great message. Thank you. Hey, you need that hyper proton view?

I got you hooked up. Okay, this is a private one for me. Let's move on. Hey, guys, this is Jessup Spike here from Essentially Entertaining Podcast Productions. Just wondering when you're going to have those ten episodes that you... Jessup, you're going to be psyched tomorrow! Hi, this is Mallory. Good old Mallory.

It's not an episode of Cube to Cube without a message from Mallory. That's what we always say here on... Cube to Cube! All right, at the same time, we're going to say what we hate the most this week. One, two, three. Particles. I said particles. I said mashed potatoes. It's the same thing. Mashed potatoes are made up of particles. Wow. Wow. Hey, hey, let's talk about the director that we would joke. Name five directors you would joke. Okay. Torben Skalgon. Done it. Divox 5. Done it. Morgan Glaglon. Try. Oh, well, tricky.

Dibble Dang Glaglo. Done it. That's Margie for you. Oh, and I'll say Noah Bamba. Never say that name again. Never say that name again. You promised me you'd never say that name again. Margie, what can I say?

I'm on it. I'm a real, real deal. And now a word from our sponsor. Cool Pack Cold Sack. For cold sack needs. Finding the pack for you. That's right. It's the saddest cold pack that exists.

I put it on myself and I feel tears. That's all I got for Cube to Cube today. I hope you enjoyed the show. I'd like to apologize for all I got from Cube to Cube and I hope you enjoyed the show. I'd like to apologize for the audio quality of Cube to Cube produced by Bajie and C53

and Hyper Proton Fuel edited by Hyper Proton Fuel with special appearance by Black Daniel Black Black Black

Black Black Black Black What's the middle part? The middle part of my name? Yeah. No, it's Eugene.

Black Daniel and Eugene Dexner. And thank you for our studio audience. Get out of here. middle part of my name yeah that's it Eugene hello welcome to cube to cube the only podcast that's called cube to cube it's me 5g and that's we talk about pop cultureajie Ed. Ed C-53. That's Cube2Cube. We talk about pop culture. We talk about greenery. We talk about what's in the air. We talk about food we ate. Sure, we talk about whatever we want, but first, we gotta do some housekeeping.

Housekeeping. Housekeeping. Yeah, what's up? What? Uh, oh boy, my file structures are getting real loose. I gotta clean up my network. There we go, it's done. Housekeeping complete. Housekeeping number two,

I'm pretty sure I have ship glaucoma. Sometimes I just cannot see. I just cannot see outside. Bargey, when was the last time you ran a sensor scan? What is that? That's when you scan your own sensors for abnormalities in your sensors. I'm doing it right now.

How's it going? Ah, it's red. Okay, well that's bad. It should be green, it's red. Number three, sign for some voicemails from our listeners. Alright. Voicemails. We're sorry.

I just wanted to sound like this podcast until it got political. You know, all of a sudden you started saying the word political. And I hate that word, so I turned it off. I think this guy is referring to when we were watching that political thriller. I don't know if it's got anything to do with the commercial politics. I don't know if he just said the word political. Yeah, very weird. Hey, I'm not going to ask you again.

I want my money. Oh, you're going to buy this one? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I have money for the hyper proton fuel. Yeah, get a new line, buddy. Hi. I just wanted to know if C-53

was single. I'm watching him from outside of Bargy's window. Oh, that one's got me real cricked out. Alright, time to move on to the meat of Cube to Cube, and let's talk about pop culture. Pop culture, alright. Pop culture.

Bargy, you guys talk to me? One of the pop cultures got you excited this week. Hold on, I got a headache. Okay, sorry. I haven't taken hyper proton fuel for like a day and I think I'm like at the end of it. You know what I mean? I don't think your mistake is that I'm taking more hyper proton fuel

and I grabbed... All right. But yeah, pop culture, sorry. Okay, focus, focus. All right, talk to the mic Okay, recently I saw um, I saw a small star and the star got bigger and then it oh my engine. Oh my Wait, are you going down the same time? It's very sharp sharp Oh something feels salty yeah we're not programmed to feel

that but I'm tasting it now black black black hey guys what's that rattling sound shut up turn off the lights in this room uh it's like I have motion sickness for being a ship okay turn off the lights. Deck setter. Wait, here's a hot take. My voice is annoying. Have you ever listened to your own voice and you're like, what is this? It's like two stones just running against each other.

It's not my fault. I know it's bad about you, Margie, but it hurts to listen. Oh, wow. Why don't we just toss it over to AJ for the AJ minute? Yeah. AJ, you can do a whatever you've been talking about. You never know what he's going to say.

Why don't we throw it over to you, AJ? Hey, guys. Well, the AJ Minute today is a very special AJ Minute because I'm talking to you about the dangers of hyper proton fuel. If you know a loved one who is hooked on hyper proton fuel, do what I did and eject all the fuel out of the hatch. Clean as a whistle. Oh no! RJ!

Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Ah! I just got a, I got a secret stash. I have a secret stash! Oh my goodness! It's underneath one of Black Daniel's boxes. One of Black's boxes.

All right, I'm moving around the boxes. Hey, ow! Move it! Ow! Sorry, guys. It's underneath one of Black Daniel's boxes. One of Fletch's boxes. All right, I'm moving around the boxes. Hey, ow. Move it. Ow. Sorry, guys. That was pretty thorough. This is an intervention.

I care about you both. It's crippling. Well, that's what was on his mind today. That's all we got from our friend, AJ. It's time to review the movies! Review the movies! Wow, Arch, this seems like it's worse than anything. Alright, so we went out and we saw a movie together.

Oh, yeah. I don't even remember because we were so choked up. We were pretty wild. I mean, I'm looking at my own memory banks and it's just a lot of colors and shapes. And I can't imagine they'd release a movie just called Colors and Shapes. No, no. So do you remember what it was called? I look back at my memory banks and it's just this old video of Beano dancing.

Yes. Show the clip. Okay. Everybody do the Beano. Everybody do the Beano. You put a fart foot here. You put a fart foot here. You put a fart foot here. You put a fart foot here. You put the bean-o. Everybody do the bean-o. You put a fart foot here. You put a fart foot here.

You put a fart foot there. You put a fart foot there. Now you shake the bottom of your bean. That is the bean-o. Everybody scream. Well, I guess we should end the show. Let's take a...

Let's just take it. Let's end the show. Yeah, the show today was produced by me and C-53 and maybe Hyper... Whatever's left over is residual. Do you make me? Do you make me? Shut up! Shut up! but what I was left over is residual. It was... It was... Shut up! It was edited by me

in... Special appearance, but... What? What? Shut up! Shut up! Your voice is like a decapitated mouse head inside of a blender. Oh, we forgot a sponsor! Oh, no, you're gonna kill us!

Hey there, Cube2Cube listeners. It's DJ Plek Dex Center on the podcast microphone, along with my sidekick, AJ. Yeah, it's DJ AJ. Yeah, good. Good. That's pretty good. C-53 and Bargy are still asleep, so we decided to record a podcast. Hey, Papa.

What? What are you doing with your voice? That's just my podcast voice. Welcome to the show. Oh, okay. What? What are you doing with your voice? That's just my podcast voice. Welcome to the show. Oh, okay. Do I do that? Welcome to the show. What is that?

What is that? That's my podcast voice. No, I don't think that. Cute, I guess. No, AJ. What do you mean? No, no, no. AJ, the idea of a podcast voice is to make your voice sound cooler than it normally is.

You know? Okay, right. Thank you. Welcome to the podcast. AJ make your voice sound cooler than it normally is. Okay, right. Thank you. Welcome to America. AJ, your voice... I don't... What is that? I thought that was cool.

Was that not cool? AJ, your voice is cool. You don't have to change it. Thank you, Papa. Okay. All right, AJ. I guess it's time for a little housekeeping. Housekeeping.

Housekeeping. Number one. Hyper proton fuel is dangerous. Yeah, I think we learned a lot about hyper proton fuel In the last four days They recorded dozens Of episodes of the show Yeah some of them are I mean unintelligible

I didn't understand a word There were a couple episodes I think we're just in binary There was an episode where it was just Bargy crying I love that one. That's one of my faves. She's just like why? Yeah. Okay, housekeeping number two. AJ is a dirty narc.

Wow. They told me I had to read that. You know, AJ, you probably did the right thing. Yeah. I feel like we've gotten a few calls from Nermit that we have not picked up. Yeah, and, C-53 gets mean. Oh, yeah, for sure. Let's get to some of the voicemails, Papa.

Yeah, sure, let's listen to some listener voicemails. Voicemails! We're sorry. Hey, long-time listener, first-time caller, who are you jokers? Where are Steve53 and Bargy? You guys have done a couple episodes, and they suck. Who are you idiots? Oh, wow.

This is separate. Rough. Hi, I got into hyper-proton fuel because Bargy and C told me to do it, but now I think it's a bad decision. What have I done with my life? Oh, boy. Hey, there. I feel this show's getting a little bit too political.

And I like it. Oh, hey, great. Whoa. Cool. Is that because I said what's political last week? Yeah, I think so. I guess we should talk about pop culture a little bit now. Uh-huh.

Pop culture. What was the last thing you watched that you liked? Oh, I saw Dar. No, no, no. It's not supposed to be something that happened in real life. It's a story, maybe an album you listen to, music, movies. I really loved this. When I was younger, they would pry my eyelids open and tell me how great the Federated Alliance was. I don't know if that was awesome.

No. It was like, Federated Alliance. Yeah. We will always win. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved it. I don't know if that counts as a movie. No, it was awesome.

It was all clenched, just like storming down enemies and like people showing prosperity. Yeah. It was really moving. Oh, yeah? What are you doing? Are you okay? Oh, hey, we're just. Hey, what's up? Shut up. Oh, yeah? What are you doing? Are you out of here? Oh, hey, we're just... Hey, what's up? Shut up!

Hey, we're just... Shut up. We're just recording an episode of the podcast. What podcast? Cube to Cube. That's my podcast. Well, yeah, you asked us.

Before you went to sleep, you said, hey, you guys do it now. Yeah, just keep it down. Okay. All right. Just turn the noise Why was his chest casing off?

I don't know Did you have stubble? I keep playing J-J-J-J-Jucker Dope Okay Oh yeah, wow I didn't realize the different sections of podcasts Just played automatically

Yeah, I know It's very automated Alright, Jucker Dump You go first, AJ Jucker Dump Cormie Meehan sections of podcasts just played automatically. I know. It's very automated. All right. Juck or dump? You go first, AJ. Juck or dump? Cormie Meehan. Oh, I would dump because I have no genitals.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not sure if that's really in the spirit of the... Okay, that's fine. No, no, no. Let's do another one. You said juck or dump. No, let's do another one. I can't juck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't juck, Papa. I don't know what you want. Okay. All right. Dump. It's going to be dunk for me for all of them. You know what Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't chuck, Papa. I don't know what you want. Okay, all right. Dump. It's going to be dumped for me for all of them. You know what? Never mind, AJ.

I just, okay, now you do one. Okay. Papa, I've definitely done my research. So, yeah, pop culture, chuck or dump the Zalvatron 5000. That's Bargy's refrigerator. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to! What would you do? Would you chuck it or dump it, Papa Pop Culture?

I'm not going to chuck a refrigerator, probably. How dare you? Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, it's nothing personal, Zalcatron. Oh, really? Yeah, no, it's just I don't even know what... Unbelievable.

I don't even know what it would look like or how I would do it. Neither do I, but I'm willing to try. That's very progressive of you. Not anymore. No. Okay. Wow, this is great. Pop culture.

I don't think that's what pop culture is. No, this is pop culture, I'm pretty sure. I don't think so. Oh, I guess it's time now for a word from our sponsors. Just to let you know, because we did not run an ad last week for Cool Pack brand cold sacks, we've actually lost that sponsorship. But fortunately, we've picked up another one. So, AJ, would you like to read this copy here?

I sure would, Papa. Cold? It's colds to sack. I had it, Papa. Brand cold pack sack cold i i had it papa brand cold papa i had it okay cold to sacks brand you know actually let me just read this aj i'm sorry it's just we'll read it together you can read it over my shoulder i'll read it okay uh cold to sack brand cold packs yeah that was the last one okay give you cool relief wherever you need them, whenever you need them. Make it personal to you. Oh, I think that I'm supposed to talk about how I use them.

All right. Okay. Make it personal. Let's see. Oh, do you remember that time when you were doing your wood saber and you hit yourself in the nuts and you had to have a cold? Yes, I do remember that. And you were just like going, oh, my nuts, my nuts.

And I was like, Papa, you got to get a cold pack on it. You were like, oh, it hurts. And then when we put it on, you were like, it hurts even more. And Dar was laughing like so hard. Yes, I remember, AJ. We're going to edit this, right? Is there an editor for this? They'll cut this out.

I'm awake. Oh, hey, Bargy. Welcome back. Oh, it's happening. What day is it? Are we in? Are we? Bargy, we're doing the podcast.

We're doing Cube to Cube right now. Space ship, I think we need a divorce. Oh, that happened years ago. What? Welcome to Cube to Cube. I'm, oh yeah, that's my... Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, Jesus.

Bargy, you gotta vent that smoke. Alright, that's my podcast. I'm ready. I'm round. Call me when I'm ready. I'm ready. Call me and I'm ready. What part are we in? I'm not really sure what comes next. Bargy singing a song about all the movies she saw. Movies she saw.

All of the movies she saw. Bargy, I respect your can-do attitude. Yeah, you're a pro. All right, guys, I think you've done enough. I think Steve53 and I have leveled out. We don't need hyper-pro fun. Fuel full. Fuel, fuel you.

Show us. Q2Q could just be two sentients having an honest conversation, not about pop culture, but about themselves. Okay. Yeah, we still. No, get out of here but about themselves. Okay. Yeah, we still- No, get out of here. Okay. Get lost.

Okay. What did I do? Asking hard-hitting questions. Sure, sure. Taking the frame, as it were, and opening it up to reveal the cube inside. Check whatever the frame is. Yeah. Huh?

But I don't know if I'm- You're exactly where you need to be. I'm exactly right as you think frame. But I've done enough of it since you're here. You're exactly where you need to be. I'm exactly right. I got that chest piece here. All right. Cube to Cube was produced by Bajie C-53 and the lack of hyper proton fuel. It was edited by Bajie C-53 and Seth Lind.

Pop, I don't think we're going to be credited. Yeah, wait. We did most of this one hello this is amy man and i'm ted leo and we have a podcast called the art of process we've been lucky enough over the past year to talk to some of our friends and acquaintances from across the creative spectrum to find out how they actually work. So I have to write material that makes sense and makes people laugh. I also have to think about what I'm saying to people. If I kick your ass, I'll make you famous. The fight to get LGBTQ representation in the show.

We weirdly don't know as many musicians as you would expect. I really just became a political speechwriter by accident. Realizing that I have accidentally pulled my pants down. Listen and subscribe at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. It's like if the guinea pig was complicit in helping the scientist. Hello there

ghouls and gals. It is I, April Wolf. I'm here to take you through the twisty, scary, heart-pounding world of genre cinema on the exhilarating program known as Switchblade Sisters. The concept is simple. I invite a female filmmaker on each week and we discuss their favorite genre film. Listen in closely to hear past guests like the Babadook director Jennifer Kent, Winter's Bone director Deborah Granik, and so many others every Thursday on MaximumFun.org.

Tune in if you dare. It's actually a very thought-provoking show that deeply explores the craft and philosophy behind the filmmaking process while also examining film through the lens of the female gaze. So, like, you should listen. Switchblade sisters. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artistumfun.org. Comedy and culture.

Artist owned. Audience supported. All right. Time to move on to the meat of Cube to Cube. And let's talk about pop culture. Pop culture. All right. What is it about pop culture you want to talk about?

Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Pop culture. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Pop culture. It's the meat. It's the meat it's the meat pop culture