Mission To Zyxx - L10: Just the Tubes of Us [LIVE ft. Rachel Wenitsky]

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and MarieWinston Noel, in pre-recorded absentia, as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Kon’DuWith special guest Rachel Wenitsky as MarfEdited by Seth LindLive sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell Theme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraOpening crawl narration by Michelle!Ship design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric GeuszAudio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network. Happy Max Fun Drive!! Become one with the Space and get cool Stuff at maximumfun.org/join

Hey everybody, Alden Ford here. Happy MaxFunDrive! As you know, Mission to Zix and all Maximum Fun shows are primarily made possible by listener support, and the Maximum Fun Drive is your chance to help us make our show. At MaximumFun.org slash join, you'll see monthly levels for pretty much any budget, from $5 a month up to $200 per month. And yes, people who can afford it and love Max Fun Shows actually do give that much. Most people choose $10, $20, or $35 a month, and you can choose whatever level is right for you. We have always loved making Mission to Zix, but it's become something else

since we started it. It's now a show that we love making with you. The late nights editing and mixing, the Zoom recording sessions in four different time zones, the orchestra, which this season has been upgraded to 61 pieces. These are all things that you, our supporters, make possible. And please believe me when I say that we always try to make every dollar you give us come right back to you through your headphones. I hope you can hear it. It's never been an exaggeration to say that Mission to Zix could not exist without your support.

But this year, it's especially true. You may have noticed, for example, that we have had fewer ads this season. I mean, it's understandable. The sponsors are a little more strapped than usual, and that probably means fewer companies that are excited to learn that on Mission to Zix their product will be sold by alien cultists and library perverts and tupper spickle. But we know that this year, more than most, is a weird time to ask you to give a free comedy podcast your money. There are plenty of places and people and causes in need at a time when your own financial stability might not be what it was a year ago. I won't pit our show against any of that. What I will say is that for me, Mission to Zix has been a welcome oasis of normalcy at a time when some things I used to take for granted,

like live performance, audience interaction, even just joking around with friends, are all but non-existent. I've always been grateful to be able to make this show, but this year it's given me a connection to comedy, to my friends, and to you that I didn't think would ever feel quite so rare. And it's been amazing to hear from listeners that the show is also helping them cope or connect or feel a little bit normal during this scary and surreal time. So if you are in a position to support Mission to Zix

financially, we would so appreciate it if you would consider doing so now. And if you're a Maximum Fun listener who's gotten into our show since the last drive, we would be honored if you added us to the list of shows you support and even consider increasing your level. That's MaximumFun.org slash join. Stay tuned after the episode for details about all the rad stuff you can access slash get if you join or upgrade during the drive, including bonus content, gifts, and more. And now I'd like to present a live episode recorded back in January as part of the Brooklyn Podcast Festival at Brooklyn's incredible Bell House with our amazing returning guest, Rachel Winitsky. If you're anything like me, it will be a little unsettling, heartbreaking,

and invigorating to hear the sound of hundreds of people in one room. Thank you so much for listening to Mission to Six. Enjoy. And very excited to welcome out our special guest tonight, Rachel Winitsky! Bring her out here! Rachel Winitsky! Bring her out here! So tonight you're going to hear an interim episode. This is going to be an episode about what happens between seasons.

So this is going to be very exciting. We have one more thing that we would like to do. Because this is an episode that takes place after the season three finale, we don't have a crawl that reflects what is going on in the galaxy right now. So I have a crawl that reflects what is going on in the galaxy right now. So I have a question. Is there anyone in the audience who thinks that they can do a pretty good British accent? Yes, you? All right, come on up, come on up.

Hi, thank you. What's your name? Michelle. Michelle, thank you for being here. Yes. So for those of you who don't know, every episode of Mission to Zik starts with a crawl narrated by a dulcet-sounding British man,

and that's what you're going to do tonight. Yes. So here is the version of the crawl, and you're going to read it along with the music. You've got this. All right, ready? Give Michelle a hand. All right, so you're going to read this, and then the episode will begin. Okay? All right, ready? Give Michelle a hand.

All right, so you're going to read this, and then the episode will begin. Okay? All right, here goes. It is a time of confusion. Seriously, I... What the jock is happening? With the Emperor defeated, the galaxy is sort of unsure what to do,

especially because of the emergence of the gigantic, horrifying celestial body that has appeared in the Ziggs Quadrant. It looks like some sort of flaming cosmic zit. Now, Zemanite Plek-Dexeter and his intrepid crew must plan their next moves, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission 2-6! Thank you. Hey, guys, we're back. Oh, not so loud. No, please. What the chuck happened in here?

We haven't had a chance to clean up yet. Wait, guys, we were gone for like an hour and a half. That's enough time for a powerful orgy. Why did you do this? Because you were gone for an hour and a half. Can I just say, I understand why you would do that when Plex's not here, but it hurts a little bit to find out you've done that. I'll tell you why we did it.

What's that supposed to mean? I'll tell you why we did it. Dara and I, we like to chat. You know, we like to decompress. And we complain about our jobs, you know? She has a glass of white, I have a glass of red oil, and we just talk.

And we got to talking, and we're like, why don't we have an orgy? Although, to clarify, because you know you got Dirty Minds black. What? It wasn't a sexual orgy, okay? No hatches were opened, okay? No hatch-to-hatch happened.

I mean, it's none of my business. It was an orgy of the mind. Okay, there's like three people passed out in my room. Who are these people? Philosophers. Philosophers? I guess that's pretty good. Yeah, it's like a professional thinker.

Sure. No, I know what a philosopher is. I don't know. Hey, guys. Guys, I'm stuck. My torso's stuck in this orange beer bottle. Nermit. Yeah.

How did that happen? I was at a mind orgy. I went to the mind orgy. You had the orgy with Nermit and not me? Nermit got the invite to the orgy? Not so much the invite as he heard us in the next room. That's the closest thing to an invite I get. All right, Nermit, you've got two options.

I can pull you out of the bottle or I can break the bottle. Oh, boy. Neither of these options are good. I want to make that clear. How did you get... Was it like a suction thing or did you crawl? How did you get inside this bottle? So you've never been to a mind orgy.

I guess. Actually, Nermit, you know, I might be able to just... Get out. Actually, you know what? You know what? I might be able to just... Get out. Oh, wow. Ah, boy. Well, guys, you know, I got to say, you know, ever since we defeated the Emperor, I feel like we've been kind of just coasting, you know? We've got a situation here.

We've got a situation here, everyone. We'll be calm. You invited AJ to the Mind Or Teeth? No, yes. AJ, what? We'll be calm. You invited AJ to the mind orgy? No, yes, he was invited, yes. Yeah, absolutely. This feels, I feel very insulted. AJ, what is your situation? There is a butt gun incident.

I repeat, the butt gun has gone horizontal. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. AJ, are you okay? Are you okay? I'm going to be performing an extraction. Everyone just stay calm. I will not be able to be on the mission.

This could take seconds. It could take hours. It could take days. I'm not a doctor. Okay. All right, AJ. I mean, I don't know if we're going to really have a mission, you know, today. We're just sort of cleaning up after the orgy, I guess.

Oh, thank you for offering to clean up. I sort of meant we as a group. Thank you, Flick. All right. All right. Okay. All right. Yep.

I guess I'll just... Oh, boy. I just felt the safety go off. Okay, AJ! You need to... AJ! Stay in the bathroom! You need to take care... Okay.

Are you alright? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, alright. Alright, AJ. Look, I don't know what you're doing or what needs to happen, but if you need help, let us know. But otherwise, just maybe keep your distance. Oh, okay. All right.

We're now at a code brown. This is a code brown now. It's a code brown situation. All right. Leave me be. Go on without me. Okay. We agreed to do that.

Yeah. Excuse me. Sorry. We agreed to do that. Yeah. Excuse me. Sorry, these are my books. Just gonna get out. I'm sorry. Dar, it was so much fun. It was so nice connecting with you. That's a philosopher.

I just have to say, you have a beautiful mind. I know what a philosopher is. Thank you. Goodbye. Would you call that like an escape pod of shame? Shame? Yeah, like, you know, you're like, oh, I'm still wearing my philosopher's garb.

Now I got an escape pod home. There's no shame in what we did. Okay, yeah. Don't mind the sticky what we did. Okay, yeah. Don't mind the sticky floors, though. Okay. What is it, Nermit? Beep boop, boop boop, beep boop boop.

Boop boop boop. What are you doing? What are you doing? That sounds like someone's calling in. Boop boop boop boop. That's not what it sounds like. It's you just making a noise. I'm never there when it rings on that end. I don't know. It doesn't sound like that.

Okay. You know, if you want to talk to us, you can just talk to us. I'm just going to do it from up here on the fridge. Guys, I'm going kind of crazy. We don't have any missions. You know, it's okay for us to just relax and have a good time. We defeated the evil emperor. That's good. We and have a good time. We defeated the evil emperor. That's good. We could take a couple months.

Yes, okay. He did transform into a gas giant-sized flaming eyeball or something, but that's not our fault. You give my hat to you. All right. I guess not. I'm being requested to say we have an incoming message from... I can't.

Is it Nermit? Nerf. All right. Nermit, fine. Do you have a mission for... What is it? I was digging in the Missionator, and you know how a synthesizer will come with pre-recorded music? There's some stock missions.

What? Yeah. Nermit. Nermit, we're not going to do a tutorial mission. Also, what would be a stock mission on a missionator? I don't know, but I'm just going to say, like, we might have the chance at succeeding at one. I mean, all right, fine. Let's try it out.

It's a missionator. Great startup sound. Beautiful. All right, so go to a planet. What else does it say? Find resources. Retrieve them. High five.

Oh. What? That's not me. I'm actually getting a call from inside the Midnight Shack. That's so weird. That almost never happens. Almost never happens? Well, some calls are private.

Okay, okay, okay. And that's just what they are. Okay, okay. You should pick it up. Yeah. Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?

Hello? Yes, we're all here. My best friends! My best, best friends! Do you know who this is? Oh, my gosh. Marv? Yes.

Marv. Remember me? Hey. Marv. Oh, it's so good to hear your voices. Don't mind the cheering orgy attendees. That sounded like a bunch of philosophers waking up. Yeah.

Still drunk. Yeah. Still drunk. Yeah. Marf, how is everything going? Long time no- Bad. Oh, no. Oh, so bad. What happened?

Something horrible has- The worst thing has happened. Was the whole planet destroyed? No. Did you go on trial for a lot of financial- No. No. Worse. Was a loved one hurt or injured? No. No. Did you go on trial for, like, a lot of finance? No. No. Worse.

Was a loved one hurt or injured? No. Bad haircut. Oh, yes, but I got past it. Okay. Listen, something terrible has happened. It's almost hard to speak it out loud. So, you know how my whole thing is that I own a store?

I mean, there's a lot. You contain multitudes, Marv. You don't have to. how my whole thing is that I own a store. I mean, there's a lot. You contain multitudes, Marv. Have you heard of Mary Kandu? No, not familiar. She wrote a book about how you should only keep things that spark joy. So I read the book, and I got rid of all my stuff. Oh, no. This is far. I got rid of all my stuff! Oh, no! I got rid of all my stuff!

I don't think that Marie Kondo... It's actually spelled Marie, pronounced Mary. Oh, okay. Okay. That's my fault. Mary Kondo. I don't think Mary Ku assumes you own a business. I thought that was just a personal decluttering.

No, there's an appendix in the back that says this could apply to your small business, your corporation. That seems maybe like a step too far. Yeah, that's presumptuous. Your corporation? Yeah. What sparks joy in a corporation? I don't know. It doesn't seem right.

Oh. You kept your tube, obviously. I kept my tube. Yeah. And I missed the rest of my tube. Wow. Mark, you feel terrible about this. We do feel bad.

What can we do? What was that? What can we do really? This is a good question. You're not willing to go to bed for Marv and try to get our things back? Oh, that's where this is headed? I thought so. You know, guys, we are looking for a mission.

Maybe we could help Marv get some of her stuff back. Could you? Yeah, yeah. I think so. Could you really? What happened to all the stuff? Well, so I gave it all away.

Okay. Okay, so? To a junk planet. Oh. No, no. Uh, just taking a wild stab based on planets in the vicinity and known junkers. Yep. You didn't give it to the Treetorns, did you?

I may have. Marv. But Marv. Yeah. I may have. She might have. Marv. Marv, this is some of the shrewdest

traitors in the galaxy. That's why I've called you. I need help. I need my best friends to come help me get my stuff back. Alright, well, Marv, you know, we'll meet you there, I guess. You know, we can give it a shot, right? Yeah, I'll meet you there. Guys, this is good. We have a mission.

We can help our friend. Huh? She said best friend. I'm still here and I need to go. Oh, hey, Mark. Wow. Yeah. I had no idea how much junk there is on this planet. This is sort of their deal.

Okay. All right. I'm just saying. I specifically said. Yes, I know. I said it was a junk planet. No, I know. I said they were junkers.

I know. I know. Okay, in retrospect, it was a junk plan i know i know junkers i know i know okay in retrospect that was a dumb thing to say but i'm just saying like the buildings are made of junk the vehicles are made of junk there's people who are like wearing cotton like a wardrobe junker i get that i get that nice eye patch uh thank you i will sell it back to you. What? You seem to be in need of an eyepatch. I want an eyepatch! I want an eyepatch!

Let's start the bidding over here. Give me that! Thank you. He's never going to learn if you just take back the eyepatch for him. I feel like just going free socket is going to make it harder to negotiate. Nobody likes. Nobody.

No. Hello, I am a tire. Guys, this tire is talking to us. Yeah, this is one of these Bronco Cyber News coverage made sentient tires for a while. It was amazing. I'm selling my family. Would you like any other tires? No! Please!

They couldn't include a full cybernetic brain in the tires. But they have a family. I'm five years old. I'm an all-weather radial. They understand enough to speak, but not enough to understand like a moral dilemma Is the problem

How much? Don't buy a set of tires It could be a good deal We don't need any tires They're clearly in a jam You're gonna let the whole family go for real cheap No Son

Yes mother Never forget my face Oh no Wait but I'm rolling Oh Okay how much? Six croons for the four

Oh that's a great deal No it's not It is We don't need it Just practically Just know before you buy us, as you drive upon us, it wears down our tiny bodies. Oh, my rod. Yeah, you see why the market for these never really took off.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry. Go find your mom, I guess. Guys! Guys! Guys! It's me!

I'm far away and I'm running towards you! No! Marv! Guys! Keep coming this direction. She's pressing that junk hill. I'm taking a rest. That's fine, that's fine.

Don't need to tire yourself out. We'll wait. Okay, I'm running again. I'm here. Oh, hey. Mark, it is great to see you again. It's amazing to see you all. We're also so sorry about that. I mean, it seemed like a good idea to clarify your life, make it simpler.

Yeah, we're sorry that book ruined your life. It really did. And then when I was done, I had to get rid of the book. Sure. It was awful. Do you feel freed at all? I don't know, you can come and go from your planet as you please?

I guess. But what use is your freedom when you don't have a bunch of junk in a basement to love? Brings up a good point. Yeah, that's true. That's good, I guess. Well, listen, Marv, do you have like a list? Like, what do you need us to get for you? Okay, so I'd love to get back my bunch of Frisbees.

Okay. Sure. Just going to make an itemized list here. Bunch of Frisbees. I need the Shield of Whim. Shield of Whim. Okay. Priority-wise, are the Frisbees below or above?

Frisbees are first. Wow. Really? Keeping Frisbees up top. They were at the front of my store, and I would see them every single day. I just are first. Wow. Really? Keeping frisbees up top. They were at the front of my store and I would see them every single day. I just miss them. Okay. All right. So round.

And in a pinch, frisbees can be plates. Yeah. Or a shield. Sure. Yeah. On a whim? Yeah. Is the shield of whim a frisbee?

Be clear about this. I can't say that it can't be used as a Frisbee. Sure. It's round. It's quite thin. What else is on the list? There's the great jeweled helmet of Murd. Oh, okay.

Have you heard of it? Great jeweled helmet of Murd? Absolutely. I pulled it out of a dune. Yeah? And, of course, my precious tubes. Sure. Wow.

I hear it. Someone's using it right now. Is that the one you have or is that a different one? No, that's a different tube. Mine makes a sound like this. You've got to follow that tube. Yeah, that's why I need the rest of my tubes The sound is fading a little bit It just sounds like this

That's not ideal I can't stand that Alright, well Before anything gets sold away Maybe we should split up Yeah, I think you're right You know what, I'll go try to find the frisbees. Great. Okay. I could look

for the great shield helmet of myrrh. Sure. Thank you. I'll look for the shield of whim. I guess I'll look for the tubes. Great. Good, so we're all going off by ourselves? Yeah, yep. I don't see any problems with that plan.

What kind of helmet you've got there? Well, it has many jewels. I guess you could say that's a lot of jewels. I don't know. I've seen helmets with more jewels on them before. What did you say? Okay, all right. I'm just saying it's... Where did you see such a helmet with more jewels?

Oh, just out and about in the galaxy, I guess. Out and about? Yeah. Where? I need it. Hold this worse helmet. Okay. Point me out and about.

And all you need is me pointing a direction? It better be the right one. Brother, you're going to love this direction. Okay, here I go, but just to be safe, you wait here. I absolutely will do that. I don't know why he's laughing. What do you mean 30,000 croons for these Frisbees? That's too much.

I'm just saying they're mass produced. There's millions of them. Okay, listen. I don't have 30,000 croon. I can... I don't know. 10 croon? Mama?

No, I can't do 20,000 either. Mama? Okay, 12 croon. Mama? 12 croon and a kiss. Father! I don't know. Seems wrong.

Are you saying that a kiss from me is worth, I don't know, 18,000 some croon? 19,988 croon. I was just behind you. Where did you get the helmet? How did you get that? I've been negotiating with this treeton for 20 minutes or so. Uh-uh.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. A kiss for me? I don't have what you'd call a mouth in many respects. But, who am I to say no? I got... Wow. Man, see if it's a master negotiator.

How do you think Dar's doing finding that shield? All right, for a bunch of tires, you're all pretty good at Frisbee. Thanks to you. Thank you. Is our mother coming back? Uh. Uh. Will you tell us a story like our mother used to?

Cause here's the problem. We love her. She is the air to our tire. She literally fills us with air. Okay. How's it going?

Badly. I mean, I have the shield of whim, but these tears are making me feel real bad. Yeah, I really, you know, when we came to the junk plant, I thought, we're going to do a lot of negotiating, we're going to meet a lot of cool, weird people, we're going to see a lot of stuff. The depressing tires were not. I would never have guessed. And they are literally depressing because their mother

is not here to give them air. Yeah. They were actually extremely poorly made tires. They lose a lot of air. Oh, no. They're not good. Listen, I gotta call Marf and see how she's doing. Hey, Marf.

Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh, hey! What? I'm in a fight! Oh, wow! Ouch! Stop it! Hey, those are my tubes! Ow!

Strip me that tube! Strip! Take this! Marv, we're coming to your location. We're coming, Marv. We're coming. To be back! Wow! Wow! Wow! Take this! Marv, we're coming to your location. We're coming, Marv. We're coming. I'm not going! Oh, no!

Oh! To be back! Is this how you expected it to go? No! No! Our father deflated. We got to go. We got to go.

We got to go. We are going to take a 10-minute break. Get a drink. We'll see you in a few minutes. Thank you. C-53, are you sure the coordinates lead here? This is not like the rest of the planet. This is really gross. I mean, it's still junk, but it's like gross junk.

Yeah. Some of this stuff looks like it's been here for years and years. This is monarchy era junk. I don't like this. How much for that? D'Arc. D'Arc, what are you doing? I mean, you just heard yourselves, right?

This is disgusting. I'm going to get a really good deal. No, no, no. D'Arc, we are trying to find Marv. She's in trouble. Our best friend is in danger. How much would you like to pay? My name is

Mary. Huh. How do you spell it? M-A-R-I-E. Wait a minute! Oh, no. He just got so much bigger. Yeah, as you spoke, a giant back half of you rose up Oh that's disgusting

You're taking too much time You gotta make a decision Do you want something or not Who are you My second head goes by Kandu What have you done with Marf?

She's up there. Guys, don't worry. I've got this. I'm a trained Zemanite. All right. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

What is the plan here? I'm just going to go up and whack the monster a few times. You're going to hit a monster with a stick? Yeah. It's a wood saber. That's the first time you've picked that up in days. Okay. I have an innate ability to use it.

While you argue over sticks, maybe consider a discount set of tubes? sticks. Maybe consider a discount set of tubes? Wow. Those tubes don't belong to you. We want them back. Don't run at the...

No, don't do this. Hey, no. Just sad to watch You're embarrassing us We like to apologize We were sitting down Why don't we Stand up And why don't we stand up?

And why don't we pause for a little backstory? I don't know if you need to do that. We convince idiots to get rid of their precious, precious things. Of course it's a classic scam. Of course it's a scam. And then we take those precious things and make them part of us. Har, har, har, har, har, har, har. Very deliberate laughter. Yeah.

C-53, can you tell how big this monster is when it goes underground? I mean, my sensors are only so powerful. There's so much interference from all this material. The only thing that could bring us down is... Wait, should we... And we never discuss this part. Do we tell them? Do we tell them?

We're sort of... Are they going to reveal their weakness right now? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. That's okay. No. You should give it to Marf. Marf knows how to use it.

But she's all the way up there. You can throw it. I don't know. No, you're right. Marf. You were always better with this than I was. Here. Catch.

I cut the gag out of my mouth. Wow, cool. Very risky. You hear that, Sarah? Yeah, I hear it, I hear it. She knows that it's a wow. We're sorry, Marv, but your stuff belongs to us. I don't think so, Mary Condu, because

I've got a little backstory of my own, and it's called I'm Really Good at This Thing That I'm Holding. Here I come! Oh! Wow! I like that she makes

sound effects in addition to the sound effects. We have no choice but to throw all of these love seats at you. No, not love seats. Deal with the irony. No, no, ow. Facey boy. The ones that recline! This one has a massager!

Swing! Wait, did that do it? Was it the final swing then? I think so. Was it the final swing? Here's some plastic bottle. No, it wasn't! No, no, no! Wait, no! Oh, no!

Oh, wait! Schwing! Schwing! Schwing! You thought they were recyclable. They last forever. Wait, there's one more schwing left in me. Here it comes.

Hold on. I'm taking a rest. Smart? Don't waste your time Yeah, you gotta wrap it It's hard You don't want to push yourself too hard This piece is hard Oh, you

Swing! Wow! Wow! Classic fake-out Our weakness was a moment of confusion Confusion Lurden, shrink Our weakness was a moment of confusion. I guess we'll never really know who or what Mary Condu was. Well, no, it was clearly a two-headed garbage monster.

Yeah, sure. I mean, besides that. I mean, like, was it always into garbage? Hey, hey. What? Listen. Marvin, it's your tube. Wait, it's somewhere in this pile of junk. I'm gonna

search for it. Help me dig. Come on, tube. I know I'm close. Tube, where are you? I'm coming, tube. Wait for me, tube. My tube! My precious tube. I love you so much, my beautiful tube.

Oh, my beautiful tube, I miss you. Miss my beautiful tube, I miss you. Beautiful music is the only thing that resurrects us. No! So beautiful! Oh no, what do we do? Jock, my voice is just too beautiful. Oh no, what do we do? Jock, my voice is just too beautiful. This always happens.

Wow. Sorry, you singing so beautifully that somebody is resurrected from the dead has happened to you multiple times? People are like, wow, amazing. Reelbacks. Oh, I'm walking down the street to a death. Oh, no. What the chuck? My mother wanted, that was assisted suicide.

She was in pain. I don't want to be alive. I'm so sorry. What did you do to me? I'm so sorry. Chuck and Abe. I'm so sorry. End flashback. End flashback.

Wow. I watched you go through something in your mind just now. Yeah, I don't know what you were just thinking about, but it looked pretty jucked up. You don't want to know. Sounds intense and inappropriate. In fact, I'm glad we don't know what it was. I hope we never know.

You know, guys, I don't feel comfortable down here. I think we should get back to the surface. We're still here. The monster is blocking our way. Remember the garbage monster that came back alive? Mary Condu is back alive because of my beautiful singing. We have to stop her, but I'm all out of swings. Oh, I know.

Fleck, try singing. Yeah, yeah. What if it resurrects it again because it's so beautiful? We're alive. Let's see. Okay. There's a... Okay, bye-bye.

All right. No! Two notes? Yeah, that's very fast. You did it. Your bad voice saved the day. Okay, I have a pretty good voice. Your bad voice was in you the whole time.

Well, happy to help, I guess. Thank you so much for helping me. Look, all of my tubes, my shoe, all of my stuff. Yeah, there's like 65 C-series droid frames over there. Yeah, you got the whole set. Yeah, I got it. I didn't need them, but, you know, I guess it's okay to have some stuff. I mean, sure.

You know, Marv, I feel like being down here in the bowels of Marie Kondo, it makes me realize, you know, there's gotta be a middle ground, you know, you can have some stuff, you don't have to get rid of everything. You have to be true to who you are, but you just can't let it get out of hand. You're right, I really feel like in a way, defeating Marie Kondo was like a metaphor.

How do you think? Well, I think it's a metaphor because like I wanted stuff, but then I got rid of like the stuff, and then I wanted it back, but then I met a stuff monster who kind of represented that voice in my head that was like, collect more stuff, spend money on stuff. And then I defeated that monster, and so it was sort of like saying that I didn't need my stuff,

and in that way I feel like ultimately it is a metaphor. You know who would love this? A mind or a kid. Yeah, we should call up some philosophers. Oh, hey, guys. How did the mission go? Oh, hey AJ. Good. Oh, it was good.

How did the butt gun... Pretty good. Really? Butt gun extracted, and then placed back up into my butt. What? You put it back? Yeah, absolutely. I don't...

All right, man. Nermid, how did it go up here? It took him a real long time. It was nasty. Oh. Oh. I'm getting another phone call. I just... Oh. Hey! Hey, Murph!

You got the store back in shape. Everything's back where it was. It looks great! Thank you so... I feel really good about it. You guys gotta stop by sometime. Oh, we should. It looks very tidy. It's smaller. It's clean. It's just the stuff I need.

And tires. Oh, you took the tires. You sell tires now? Oh, yeah. I sell tires now. Marv, they look so happy. Yeah. No one wants them.

How much for the tires? Oh, they're not for sale. That doesn't make sense. It's a store. Okay. Marv, you know, it was great to see you again. And you did great work out there with the Dinglehopper. Of course. But hey, Plek.

Yeah? Check your back pocket. Oh. That's right. I put the dinglehopper in your back pocket in the chaos of the end

of that whole thing that happened before. Wow. You didn't notice? It's a big stick. I mean, I... Well, you know, it's just... The thing is that the robe is always kind of like whacking... You didn't notice? It's a big stick. I mean, well, you know, it's just... The thing is that the robe is always kind of like whacking. How numb is your buttocks?

My buttocks are not numb, okay? It's just I have a lot of layers. They're always shifting. There's the shorts, which are very tight, and then the robe, which is very loose. You wouldn't understand. You don't even have nerve endings, C-53. Wow. Wow. You wouldn't understand You don't even have nerve endings, C-53 Wow

I hope you make good use of it All I have left to say is Enjoy the Tingle Hopper I hope you have fun Whoa! That guy just woke up Hello?

Hello? That guy just woke up. Hello? Hello? That guy was dead. This is C-Red IT5, credits and attributes. Enjoy the commencing outro protocol. Papa Plank Neck Setter was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargey the Ship, Sad Tire, Kiss-Seeking

Junker, and Marie, or excuse me, Mary, were played by Moujah Zolfagari. Master of Missions Operations Manager Nermin Bundeloy, Depressed Child Tire, and Condu were played by Seth Lind. AJ was played in absentia

by Winston Knoll. Marv was played by special guest Rachel Leninsky. This episode was performed live at the Bell House at the Brooklyn Podcast Festival. Live sound decided mix by Shane O'Connell Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famed Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra

Opening crawl narration by Michelle Ship design for the Bergerian Jade by Eric Goitz Audio hosting by Simplecast. And Mission to Ziggs is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. A special thanks to everyone who came to this performance and chanted legs. Guys, that's our show. Thank you so much for coming out. Enjoy the rest of the festival.

Have a great night. Hey there, it's Alden again. I mentioned up top that we would tell you about some of the exclusive content and gifts you can get for becoming a new or upgrading member of Maximum Fun. So here we go. If you join now at any level, you will get access to exclusive Mission to Zix content, including five more live episodes with a sixth on the way very soon. Also, mailbag episodes, ringtones, behind the scenes features showing how we make the show,

the full length Bermit Nundulay album, which is a real thing. And of course, a link to join our Mission to Zix Discord server, which is full of amazing, friendly, hilarious, and kind Mission to Zix listeners like you. If you become a member at MaximumFun.org slash join, you'll get access to all of this exclusive stuff and more to be released in the future. Plus bonus content from all of the other Max Fun shows. So that's for every member as low as $5 per month. And of course, there's amazing physical stuff that you can get also. And we've learned this season how important the stuff truly is. If you join at or upgrade to $10 a month,

you can get a custom enamel Mission to Zix pin that's only available during this year's drive, plus access to the bonus content. Our brand new pin gives you the chance to publicly display your devotion to the horrifying All Wheat. And then at $20 per month, you'll get a beautiful custom deck of Maximum Fun playing cards and six custom dice, plus the pin and the bonus content. And at $35 a month, a Maximum Fun camp mug engraved with their snazzy rocket logo, the game pack, the pin, and all the bonus content.

You choose whatever level's right for you at MaximumFun.org slash join, select Mission to Zix, enter your info, and kablammo, you are making the show with us. Thank you again for listening and for helping. And to those of you who have joined already this week without me even saying anything, that's amazing.

That means so much to us. Join these heroes, old and new, at MaximumFun.org slash join. See you next week. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. So today we're going to be using you guys

to help us in our upcoming fourth season. That is if you would like to have your voices in the show. Great. If you don't want your voice in the show, just don't say anything. This first one is very clear. This is obviously going to give away a big thing you're going to be able to figure out what the episode is about.

You're going to say, We are legs. Army of legs. We are legs. Army of legs. We are legs. Army of legs. We are legs.

Army of legs. We are legs. Army of legs. We are legs. Army of legs. We are legs. Army of legs. Amazing. Sorry for the big spoiler. I know that everyone was wondering. And it's the answer's yes.

Thank you so much. Wow, that was awesome. Wow. That was incredible. Those sounds and more available.