Mission To Zyxx - L12: THE FINALE ... of Cube2Cube [LIVE ft. Special Guests!]

Episode Date: August 3, 2022

As the crew zooms through hyperspace toward their final showdown on Mufalata Secundus, Bargie and C-53 realize they’ve left something unfinished. Nermut calls the shots. Pleck breaks down. AJ sells sacs and milk. Recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY on April 10, 2022.  (Stay tuned for the OTHER finale, hitting this feed sometime soon.)Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut BundaloyWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie [and Justin Ballweheat]Plus many special guests!Live sound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellTheme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Audio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.

Hi everybody, welcome! Thanks so much for coming to the show! It's so great to see everybody here. What a great crowd. This is it? Sort of. I mean, you know, it's not it-it, but it's it for now, for live shows for now. We have a lot of fun surprises in store for you. Thanks for making it out. We are in our fifth and final season. The finale is

in process. It's very good and very poignant. Both from the characters' perspectives and our own. We are so glad we got to do another show here at the Bell House. Now, because in the show, we are nearing our last episode and uh it sort of wouldn't fit for us to put an episode in in this timeline so we're going to set this between episodes 517 and 518 so what

we normally would do would be to ask someone who has a particularly good jeremy crutchley impression to read our new crawl for us but But somebody actually already volunteered to do that, so we're going to bring them out now. Come on out. It's Jeremy Crutchley, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah. You gotta get the real thing. Fun fact.

This is the first time we've ever met him in person, so this is just as exciting for us. All right. So, Jeremy, whenever you're ready, you and Shane can take it away. Thank you. The end of the space road is on the horizon. The ass end. Ah, the intrepid crew of the Bargerian Jade.

Zeman Knight Plek Dexeta. C-53. Da! A-J-2884! Nermut Bundeloy! And Justin Ballweed. They blast towards their destinies full of hope, fear and a nagging suspicion that they've sort of left a lot of loose ends

stangling about as their inevitable confrontation with their whack arch enemy Corbales draws closer Arch-enemy Kor-Bael-thor! Draws closer and closer and closer. The crew has brief respite in hyperspace as they confront the reality that their stories and perhaps their lives are finally drawing to a close. Really, I think they should be phoning their moms

or something, something, whatever. It's not up to me. I'll be okay, I'll be okay. Now, with mere hours left before it all comes to an end, our heroes must take stock of their lives, their friendships, their

to-do lists, before it is all too late on their nearly finished Too late on their nearly finished mission to Zix! Thank you. Wow. Wow what? I was just thinking, you know, it's sort of the end, you know,

as I'm looking out the window and seeing all the... End of what? The what? What's the end, you know, as I'm looking out the window and seeing all the... End of what? The what? What's the end of? The end of our journey. We're almost to Muffalata Secundus. We're about to confront Kor Baelvor. Yeah, but we're going to do something after that, right? Not for a while,

probably. Really? We're just going to like, stop doing something? Well, I mean, chances are good we're going to die, AJ, but even if we don't, I think we deserve a break, right? What? What? What, Bargy? What is it?

What did you say? Die? Yeah, I mean, I don't want to scare you guys, but, like, this is a big deal. We're about to confront somebody who has been preparing to defeat us for years. Check, check. Why are we all talking into microphones right now? Yeah, actually, that's sort of a good question, Dar. Alright, everyone

calm down, okay? Yeah, Bargy, listen, I know you and C-53 have been rushing around the ship, sort of like setting stuff up, and I kind of tried to ignore it, but there's a lot going on yeah we're all on mic also seriously we're not doing anything after we we'll do something we're gonna hang out obviously I just don't want to make any promises I mean we're not going on a

mission are we gonna really really hang out are we just gonna say we're going to I mean that's a good question don't worry about it I have a sound guy coming in right now. He's setting up the mics. He's fixing it up. It's got a switch. C-53. You know. C-53.

Wow. You know, I'm still getting used to this kek body. It's got some hair and stuff. Yeah, don't do that. No, it doesn't. You know, Stephen, you're the one of us who should be, that should be your first move looking for this witch. Well, fair enough.

So what are the mics for? Well, Bargy and I realized, you know, we haven't done a proper finale for Cube to Cube. Wait. What's Cube to Cube? Now, AJ, you know what Cube to Cube is. You've been on. I like that question.

I feel like someone should answer that question for everybody present. Wait. Is this the podcast where you guys do drugs? It's about more than that. It's about pop culture. It's about, um... You know, previous episodes of the podcast. Some may call it a very irritating experience.

So you guys are doing, like, a finale? Yeah. Why? Well, AJ, a finale? Yeah. Why? Well, AJ, you just said we might all die, so... Right, but, like, it's a podcast. It doesn't need a finale. Yeah, that's a pretty good point. That's a good...

Whoa, AJ, the sound guy did not like that comment. Yeah, AJ, don't tempt the board op. You know, they're going to... I'm just saying, it's like, it's a podcast. Just don't put it out anymore. I guess my question, though, is, Bargy, C-53, like, usually you guys just do it. You know, C-53's got a mic.

Bargy's recording internally. What's all the mics about? Like, why are you doing it like this? When you do a finale, Black Daniel, you put out all the stops. You make it a show. You bring in a live audience. Wait, there's... Who are these?

Barchi, where did all these people come from? Yeah, we're in hyperspace. How did people get aboard the ship? Also, it's a podcast. Why does it have to be live? The whole point of it is that it's not live. Yeah, it's also, there's no visual element to it.

Why are people going to come sit in a room while we're just all talking to microphones? That's insane. Alright. Well, I don't know. We put out the call on the previous episode of the podcast and this is how many people showed up. That's pretty good. That's not bad. Well, I guess

the other question I have is you guys don't have any hyper proton fuel. What's the plan? Are you guys just going to do it normal? Yeah. Sure. You never needed it. You never needed drugs to be cool. All right, well, I guess we have a few hours

until we get to Muffalata Secundus. And Nervin is our director. Hello. I've got a clipboard here. Okay, so everyone, you should check your email because you've got the rundown of the day, and we've got talent listed in descending order of importance. Ascending order.

Descending. I'm the director. Okay. Talent, it's a podcast, I mean, right? AJ, relax. I can see your shit-eating grin through your helmet. Nermit, you say descending order of importance? Why are there three empty spaces

before my name at the bottom? Several of the guests were not able to make it. So at least I should... They're still more important than me. Their absence is still... Okay. Alright. It says sound op. What does that do? Sound op. Yeah, so you...

Here's a soundboard for you. It's a simple keypad, easy. So you're just going to fire the sound cues during the show. None of these are labeled. Yeah, Plek, they all each make a separate sound. No, I know that, but how do I know which sound each one makes? It's a podcast. Just wing it.

Nobody's going to give a shit. Don't worry about it. I can see your eyes scrunching up again through your helmet like you're saying, I just said something funny. Can I just say something? If we've got real people here watching a real show for the end of Cube to Cube, we can't be self-indulgent and spend an hour and a half chucking around before we get to the show.

Can we get started? Okay. Some would say that is the show. Okay, I'm just going to hit one of these buttons. All right. Oh, that's a good one, yeah. All right, all right. Cube to Cube.

Hey, all right. Welcome to the final episode of Cube to Cube. No more. That's right. It's over after this. See? No more. Finito.

It's done so. That's right. The squid. This is, well, this is the end of a long road. Everyone nod if you can hear me on your headsets. Great. Oh, great. Seems like we could have done that before we started recording.

Now, as you know, Cube to Cube is a podcast about so many things. That's right. Movies. Uh-huh. Memories. Yep. Hyper-proton fuel. I mean, probably first and foremost, yeah.

And solid and gaseous members of our society. Yes, very true. And today, for our final episode, we will be taking a moment to honor each and every one. Every member of our society is going to be honored on today's episode. All right, let's just name names. Let's just name names. Oh, sure. Korg.

Ferris Helfer. Tabulon 5. Hap and Tofentisk. Timbalo Jimbae. Papa. Yeah, what is it, AJ? So this is the podcast? Yeah.

I'm just glad they have a creative outlet, you know? Yeah, sure. No, it's super important. Now, as you know, back in the day, C&I used to be talking mile a minute. That's right. We used to be insane. We would have hyper proton fuel from top to bottom of our sentient beings, but not today.

We decided to slow it down and also talk about murder. Yeah, Plek. Okay, that's fine. This is back when we were more of a true crime podcast. Yeah, we can work that in. Sure. We're going to murder someone soon. What?

I have suggestions. Oh, yeah. We'd love to hear them. Dar, how do you think we should kill Kor Baelvor? Oh. Oh, suggestions for killing Kor Baelvor. Yeah, that's who we're on the way to go kill, I assume. I hope it doesn't come to that. Okay. that's who we're on the way to go kill, I assume. You know, I hope it doesn't

come to that, but okay, it's gonna be a while. We don't have to watch it. You know, Cor's kind of like a misunderstood guy, you know? What about him have we misunderstood? It's just that maybe he's like felt a little

vengeful for past wrongdoings. You know, that could really drive a sentient crazy, you know? See? I found hyper protons, too! Oh, yes! Yes! Let's go! Let's do it! Time for housekeeping, motherjuckers!

Woo! It's time for some housekeeping! Housekeeping. Barge, what do you got going on? Today we're going to talk about the things that we didn't talk about in the other parts of the show. What are five nouns we forgot to mention in all 1,000 episodes? Never talked about bananas. You did it.

They never talked about playgrounds. Never did. Never talked about going on a luxury cruise with your parents. Never did. You almost did, but I said don't you dare. Yeah, and I didn't do it, but we're bringing it up now. We didn't talk about fashionable headbands not making a comeback.

And then that fifth thing we didn't talk about was water, which is weird. Wow. So this is a segment? Yep, it's a segment, brother. Watch out. So, oh, listen. Hey, audience, like, say no to drugs.

Boo. Nerd. And I'm not saying that just because I can't process most drugs. Ooh, yeah, let's get into it. Let's dive deep with AJ. It's called the AJ Minute. All right, AJ Minute, let's kick it off. You know what I'm talking is gonna say.

Why don't we throw it over to you, AJ? AJ Minute, take it. AJ, go. Take it. AJ, 58 seconds. Oh, oh. 57. I don't do drugs because I lack a gland that can process them

because it was too expensive for the cloners to make, and so they just left it out. I don't have the enzymes to break down a drug. Well, that's what was on his mind today, and that's all we got from our friend AJ. That's a great jingle. It's terrific. Everyone, AJ has moved up a slot on the talent list.

The audience is loving the segment. Hey, nice job, AJ. You're up. Uh, what? Now, the theme of today's episode is accepting the inevitable F. And also, it's time for some voicemail. Oh, voicemail.

That's right. Can we get that playback? Maybe. What was that? Wrong. Sorry. I don't know labels on these. Plek, are you going to do your job or are you going to pretend?

But I – okay. Well, we know that one's pop culture. Okay, yeah. I was kidding. I was, I was kidding. No. That's over for two, buddy. Guys, listen.

I'm giving you one more chance. Yeah! All right. Okay. Plek, you're back in the show. Thank you. All right. Okay. Black, you're back in the show. Thank you. All right. Marge, do we have any good voicemails?

We have a bunch of new voicemails. I don't know who they are yet until they show up. Oh, wow. Okay. Any guests at any moment now can just come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And leave some sort of voicemail that Bargy has queued up for the show.

Here it is. Hello, this is Bert Brock. Bert Brock. I don't know Bert Brock. Bert Brock. I was wondering if you'd ever come back. Now that you're gone, would you come back? Because a lot of people have asked me if I'd come back.

And I'm wondering, is there a future beyond this, the end? And also, did Plek ever jug? Well, to answer the second question first, no. No, the answer's no. That voicemail...

Wow. I feel like that voicemail, for the first three quarters of it, I was like, this guy's calling into the wrong podcast. And then it got real specific at the end. Uh-huh, yeah, yeah. Pretty weird. Barge, what do you think? I think you just accept what's coming to you,

and you never look back, and you never do things twice. And, you know, you have no regrets, is what I say. Wow. That's good advice, Margie. Then you get jugged up, baby! Oh, boy. Okay, all right. Do we got another voicemail? Oh, there it is.

Okay, yeah, there it is. We're sorry. Hi, I couldn't tell if it beeped, so I'm just going to start my voicemail now. Hi, I am a ship. Okay. Big fan, Bargy. Really big. I'm a really big ship. And I was wondering how you keep passengers off of you,

how you just stand up for yourself and say, no, you cannot board. Also, did Plek ever... You know, I don't even want to think about it. To answer your second question first, no. Yeah. And honestly, for the second one, I want you to answer it secretly. Barge, this is a great honor. You're a good part of me, so I just want to know.

Okay. Do you feel you feel the same way that I do? How does Barge keep passengers to offer? Well, a lot of times you take off with the back door open. Yeah, I do that. It's hard to hang on. Yeah. You know, I've got these cat claws, and before I had clamp hands, you know,

and sometimes people just don't have the grip. Hey, Nermit? Yeah? Is this going well to you? Oh, yeah. It is? This is by far the best episode of Cube to Cube. Wow.

Also, craft services just got here about two hours late. It's going to be awkward, but we can kind of individually go eat. Anyway. Nermit. Nermit. Your whole thing is organization. It really feels like you're flying by the seat of your pants right now. My pants were eaten by rats.

I know. You got to get more pants, bud. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm going to press another one of these buttons. Okay. Oh, Nermit. One of these buttons. Okay. Oh, Nermit.

One of these buttons plays speeder ride? Nermit, you loaded your own single onto the soundboard? That's Bermit's single. How do I turn this off? Okay.

Black, you're about to lose that board op job. I literally... Nermit just handed this to me like 10 minutes ago. Should we have the professional sound person we hired do it? I could take over for you. Oh, sure. I think that would be for the best.

Cool, thanks. I don't know why you guys asked me to do it in the first place. Sorry for trying to involve you. Also, just a warning that we are about to start recording. Nerman! Wait, wait, Nerman, Nerman! Yeah. Are you telling me we just missed all that gold,

all those fantastic boys? If you record the first bit, you're just going to ramp up. Start on the top of the 30,000-foot flight, baby. We're only at 30,000 feet? We should be flying much higher. Hey, here's a question. If we are all going to die, is this how we want to spend

kind of some of our last moments? Yeah, I mean, actually, AJ really brings up a good point. This is a new segment we're calling Confessions. Ooh, I like it, Barge. All right. AJ, what do you got?

Is this how you want to be spending your final moments? I don't get the whole podcast thing. I'm sort of like, what's a podcast? That's, I guess,

what I'm asking. Well, the term podcast originally came from, you know, the planet Klelelux, and people would be birthed into those pods

and they would have to cast out an embryonic tendril into the brain of a nearby mammal, and then broadcast their thoughts into that brain so it would tear open the pod and release them. And sometimes you get ad sponsorship. Yeah,

also that was part of it, yeah. Oh, speaking of, I think we have an ad right now. AJ, maybe you should ad sponsorship. Yeah, also that was part of it. Oh, speaking of, I think we have an ad right now. AJ, maybe you should read it. Okay. Wow. When I'm flying through space and I want to keep things cool, nothing's better than a cool pack coal sack. I know that we do a lot of these sorts of things, but this is something I actually use.

Yeah, so type in the code C2C and get 20% off a pack. Look at how well you read all that. So now they think that I actually use this? Yeah. Because I said it on a podcast? You read all that. So now they think that I actually use this? Yeah. Is that because I said it on a podcast? Everyone believes it 100%. Okay. Well, this is a part of the podcast where I say the stakes just got a little higher

because my hall will not close officially, and we're starting to lose stuff. So I say we fall in love with this podcast. The studio audience is much smaller. We're losing audience members. officially, and we're starting to lose stuff. So I say we follow you on with this podcast. We're losing audience members. Oh, I guarantee we're losing audience members. Yeah. Yeah, I could have told you that.

Well, Marge, you know, since it's the finale, I think we ought to take some calls from listeners. Oh, okay, sure, yeah. Yeah, do we have anyone on the soundboard? Incoming call. Okay, great. Hey, you're on with Seepin' the Squid.

What's your question, caller? What do you want? Wow, I made it through? Yes, you did. You're our first and only caller. Wow. Okay, big, big fan. And, Bargy, I have seen all of your

Hollows and I read all of The gossip columns about you and I know Everything about your love life So my question is If I'm a droid and I'm in love With a Tolorian How much negging is too much negging? Well, why don't we go to a clip to my last date

Uh, Virgie. What's wrong with your face? We dated for 19 months. Wow. It's a long relationship. Um, that was really helpful. Thank you. I'm not sure how, but I'm glad you got some closure, caller.

Yeah, thank you so much. Big fan. Okay. Hey, wow. Director, do we have any other call callers in we do we have another call coming in great it's happening caller you're on with seafin the squid what is your question uh hi seafin the squid uh my name is eric seven hello eric seven and And I just wanted to ask, what is your morning skincare routine like?

The junk? Sorry, is that a question for the bug or for the ship? That's a question for the ship. I'm looking to know what your morning skincare routine is for your metal exterior chassis, your bow, your stern, your port, and your starboard. Well, funny you ask, because it's our latest ad sponsor.

AJ, take it away. Hey, everybody, it's me latest ad sponsor. AJ, take it away. Hey, everybody. It's me, Bargy. When I get started in the morning, you want to know how I get my glow? Well, that's easy. Chipsh Shine 9000.

It's an exfoliant and industrial strength metal cleaner. Just a dab on my hull or my bow or my stern or my port. Uh-huh. Or aft even. Uh-huh. Sometimes on the radar dish. Or aft, even. Mm-hmm. Sometimes on the radar dish. Code is C2C. This is Bajie, and I approve of this ad.

Thank you, caller. Thank you, first time, long time. That was really confusing. Yeah, you put the story of the podcast into the ads. I get that part. I'm told advertisers hate it. Yeah, advertisers

hate it. Yeah, we haven't had any ads in a while. I wonder if that's... Probably unrelated. Okay. But I think this relates to our new segment that we will create a new song for called Plex Breakdown. Plex Breakdown!

I like this new sound guy. Yeah, this guy can follow me. Now when you say Plex Breakdown, do you want me to have a breakdown or break something down? Just keep talking the way you want. Whatever you want to do, buddy. They both qualify.

Okay, Plex Dexeter here. Thanks for listening to the show. Okay. They both qualify. Okay. Plec Dexeter here. Thanks for listening to the show. I hope you're enjoying the finale. I just want to say a couple things. One, if my parents are listening to this, I would like to apologize for not calling you as I head to what probably will be my last adventure.

Sorry to interrupt. Please tie it into murder as well. This is the murder song? You don't have another song as well. This is the murder song? You don't have another song? You got to play the murder song? Now that's a breakdown. Okay. I hope he has tissues.

What? Do you have tissues with you, Papa? In case you cry. Oh, yeah. No, no. I don't need that. Cleck, this segment is testing amazingly with our live focus groups. I refuse to believe that. Go deep. Go deep.

Go deep. I just want to say I think this is probably as good a time as any. We're headed towards our destinies. Some of us have prophecies. Some of us don't, but I think we can all agree. A humble brag. Wait, what?

I mean, we're all in it together is what I'm saying. Raise your hand if you have a prophecy. Okay. Okay. Oh, wow, the sound guy? Wow. Wait, hold on. Sound guy, what's your prophecy? It had something to do with a worm.

I don't totally remember what the thing was, but I think I with a worm. I don't totally remember what the thing was, but I think I beat a worm or something. I bet you that will all come to light very soon. You know enough about a prophecy about you to know it's about a worm and that's it? I mean... Oh, sorry.

Has your prophecy always been crystal clear, Fleck? I think it's a good one, though. Okay. Probably. I hope so. Good luck, man. Keep us a good one, though. Okay. Probably. I hope so. Good luck, man. Keep us posted. Hey, Nermit.

Yeah. Do you still think this is going well? AJ, I haven't actually started recording yet. Nermit! I think I'm going to record. Yeah? We haven't recorded any of this. No, but it's getting.

Once it's. We're going to. I need you to turn the recorder on right now. Fine. And I want a caller. Okay. You're on with Zeef and the Squid. What is your question?

Hey, this is Jack. Oh. Father of Cheyenne, the very handsome piano ball. Oh, damn, Blake. Listen, things have been weird since you left. A bunch of kids built a big golf course. Oh, no. And pushed a piano ball into one of the holes.

And we can't get out. So we need a lot of people to sing a big chord so we can grow legs to get out of the golf hole. Wait. Oh, this is a tough voicemail to get when we're on the way

somewhere else. Yeah. And in a different galaxy. Yeah. But we have a couple hundred people here who could maybe all sing this chord together. Oh, that's a good point.

Also, if the chord is bad, we'll explode. Oh, that's a good point. Also, if the chord is bad, we'll explode. Oh, wow. Oh, thanks. So it's really up to you what chord you want to do. Oh, okay. As long as it's a good chord. I think

AJ should kick it off, right? Why me? Oh, yeah, because I was in Clint's sink. That's right. I do have a history in the biz. Okay. So, all right, we got to get him out of this golf hole. Okay. So let's start, audience, with some of you go,

bah. There you go. Good, good. And some of you go, ah. And some of you go, and some of you go, AJ, I don't think your military great pitch correction is working. It's good. Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! It worked! Oh, yeah! Wow.

See? Told you. Wow, that really could have gone either way for a second there. Wait, what are you guys even doing? Oh, hey, Justin. Hey, Justin. We're just doing Cube to Cube. What are you doing right now?

I don't... I'm trying to slap. It's Justin. I'm trying to slap. Justin, we know. Sorry, we're just doing the last Cube to Cube. Wait. You know, Cube to Cube, the podcast that Bargie and I do.

Justin, as a young person, do you listen to podcasts? No, I only watch Talk Talks. Ah, yeah. Yeah, sure. You know, it's even your third year at Bargy. Maybe you should consider doing a Talk Talk thing instead. Well, we put a couple of episodes of Cube to Cube on Talk Talk, and they were roundly criticized.

You guys have a problem. You should stop doing drugs. Hey, buddy, why don't you back off? I care about you. It's not good. Do you think this is good? We haven't even started recording because you guys are talking about it. I told you to start recording. I might.

Now that's a breakdown. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of always everyone being like, no, AJ, no, AJ. It's like, I'm awesome. I kick ass. Yeah, okay. Oh, yeah? Well, I'm sick of you dumping on my podcast. This podcast brings a lot of people a lot of joy.

So why don't you back off, tough guy? And I say, why don't you integrate what you're saying right now to this latest angry so we can actually get some jerking money out of this. You know, sometimes when I'm thirsty, the thing I really want to reach for is a big old glass of gurt milk. It's already got the vitamins that I need. And it's already got the vitamins that i need and it's tasty too when i'm having an emotional breakdown how did you guys like write this in the copy we've got a lot of live writers just working on this when i'm having an emotional breakdown arguing with my friends about what exactly a podcast is, I really like a tall, cool glass of Gurt Milk right by my side. Gurt Milk.

Gurt Milk? It's a great tag. To be clear, Gurt is not a brand. It's an animal. Yeah. That was not a paid sponsorship, just sort of. If it's not a paid sponsorship, what is it? Oh, that's kind is not a brand. It's an animal. Yeah. That was not a paid sponsorship. Just sort of. If it's not a paid sponsorship, what is it? Oh, that's kind of a good question.

Nermit. Yeah. So we just read it for what? You don't love animals? No, I do, but like. AJ, you don't love animals? I do love animals. AJ, you don't love animals? What's happening?

Well, that's what was on his mind today. That's all we got from our friend AJ. Oh. That was another AJ minute that had a pen but not a start. Yeah. I just find it sort of strange that we've done four ads without having rolled yet. Now, I don't want to alarm anybody, but it's a final voicemail from a group of people. Oh, multiple people left a voicemail together?

We're sorry. Multiple people. Okay, great. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a huge... How many people do you think are on this voicemail? Oh, wow.

That's a giant... A lot of people share a phone. It's normal. Yeah, sure. All right, let's play it. Hi, my name's Laird Trammell, and I work for the Intergalactic Universal Census. And you members of the Bargerian Jade

have not returned any of the census forms. True. And have made my life jucking miserable. And I found that you have time for a podcast, but not time for the forms. That's a tough one.

Oh, right, I forgot. This is that census worm that has like ten or nine heads. Oh, yeah. So it's less of a question, more of an airing of grievance. Although there is one question. If Plek has jucked and has sired children, then I'm going to need to know that number because that's extra people to put on that.

Oh, sure, yeah, it's a census question. You can at least fill that part of the form in. What do the other heads of the census aliens have to say? Yeah, the other heads have grievances? What are they? Oh, look, how's it going? I was just calling. It was my first time

listening to a long-time caller. I'm really excited to talk to you, but I want to get a personal invitation to Bargey. Come on! It's a total ball proposal considering our slip show. What? Yes, okay. I'll be there. Bargey, it's a voicemail. Wait.

That was one of the census worm heads? Yeah. Keep it going. I'm so excited to see you. I love you. I love you. Wait, that was one of the census worm heads? Yeah, keep it going. I think we got to play the murder music. I think that would curse me. Yeah, not good. Jontawa, Jontawa. Yeah, one of them speaks Jontawa Juntawa Juntawa Juntawa that checks out Juntawa

that's good that's good you know when you're one of many heads on one body and you have a crush on one of the other heads what do you what do you do to get together head to tension hi I am the final ahead of the tension?

Hi, I am the final head of the census, and I just wanted to point out that we are at the end of the census, and sometimes reaching the end is the most important yet most difficult part to just say we're done with the sentence. Very wise. Very wise. That's a good point. That's a good point. I didn't get it.

What? The end is hard, but it's also important? Nah. Right? Well, see, I think that, uh, I think we should, uh, I think we should, uh... Start recording? I think we should. I agree.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm going to see if you feel what I'm feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm feeling what you're feeling. We better do some hyper-pro talk.

You're my good friend. I mean mean are people this upset about a podcast ending for real This is C-Red IT-5, credits and attributions joined, commencing outro protocol. Plek, deck setter, was played by Alden Ford.

C-50 Green was played by Jeremy Bent. Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Archie the Ship was played by Mujad Zulfagari. Kermit Buntaloy was played by Seth Lynn. AJ was played by Winston Knoll. It's live sound designed by Shane O'Connell. Plus, special guest guests David Bluff fans Jordan Carlos

Alina Do Jonathan Fernandez Eric Gerson Lou Gonzalez Matt Little Tammy Sager And Riley Soliner. With a live opening crowd narration by Jeremy Crutchley!

Recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York on April 10th, 2022. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Phoenix Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Orchestra mixing by Danny Keith Taylor. Ship design for Jerry and Jade by Eric Boyce. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zix

is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Thank you so much for coming to the show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Woo! I grabbed the chance to leave these parts When my first song, it hit the charts

Couldn't count on the crew not made Parties every night in the bar, Jerry and Jake, yeah But now I'm sending up a brand new prayer Rob, take me back to those days I remember Slug's down there hanging out with weird bug creatures. Mocked with storage beer underneath his eyeball bleachers. Tops down, hyper driving all night. Sigurilio's kicking in.

You're absolutely right. After all the things I've seen and all the stuff I've done. Just want to be where everybody has at least five sons. Can't believe now that I'm looking back. I've come to find it don't get much better than six It don't get much better than six, babe Picked up the phone Called my band

Listen up now Jordan's got a new plan Pack your stuff, y'all. There's no time to rest. We're setting up shop in the quadrant that's best, yeah. And they all said that I sounded joking crazy. Hold those horses now, cause you're gonna thank me when you see. Glen Beasley Park where the rides always made me sick.

My favorite corner store, RIP Mrs. Curly. Our politicians always keeping it tight. Hey there, quick favor to ask. Will you help us out by taking a five-minute survey at MaximumFun.org slash survey? help us out by taking a five-minute survey at maximumfund.org survey? As you know, most of the support for Max Fund comes directly from folks like you, but many of our shows and our network also rely on limited advertising for some revenue. This survey helps us attract advertisers that are a good fit for the audiences of our shows, and it helps many of our hosts secure a bit of extra income. It should only take a few minutes to complete, and you helps many of our hosts secure a bit of extra income. It should only take a few minutes to complete, and you'll get a discount at MaxFunStore when you do. That's MaximumFun.org slash survey. Thanks.

I'm Lisa Hanawalt. And I'm Emily Heller. Nine years ago, we started a podcast to try and learn something new every episode. Things have gone a little off the rails since then. Tune in to hear about... Low-stakes neighborhood drama. Gardening. The sordid, nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle. Hot sauce. Addiction to TV and sweaty takes on celebrity culture.

And the weirdest, grossest stuff you can find on wikipedia.org. We'll read all of it, no matter how gross. There's something for everyone on our podcast, Baby Geniuses. Hosted by us, two horny adult idiots. Hang out with us as we try and fail to retain any knowledge at all. Every other week on Maximum Fun. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture.

Artist owned. Audience supported. So one thing we like to do is invite you, if you're willing, to be in the show. The podcast. We have one more episode. We need some crowd sound. So if you'd like to do that,

please do. If you don't want to do it, just don't say anything. So, Mujan, you had an idea of where we'd start. Oh, sure. Okay. So, this is very important. This is a big part of the episode. If everyone could just meow like a tiny cat.

It's not on the sheet, and it's not for the show. Shut up. It's on the sheet. Shut up. It's on the sheet. I'll do an example. Okay, one, two, three. Okay. Okay, Shane just emailed that to Muzhan. That's pretty sick if you ask me.

Thank you, thank you. Um. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.