Mission To Zyxx - L12: The Host With the Moist [LIVE ft. Jordan Carlos]

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

The crew receives a dinner party invitation from a very unlikely host. Bargie will always be successful! C-53 drops it like it’s hotdish. AJ just wants a little decency! Dar absorbs very, very friendly fire. What is the sound of Nermut’s one hand clapping? That’s Pleck in the corner. This throwback to Season 4 was freshly recorded LIVE on October 3, 2021 at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York. And hey, it’s the Maximum Fun Block Party! Welcome, new listeners! And old listeners too. And young. But not too young, because this episode is SEXY. Check out all the great Max Fun shows, and if you’ve helped spread the word about Mission to Zyxx - THANK YOU.Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as Captain DarSeth Lind as Nermut Bundaloy and Jaspurr JonnzWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and CaryllFeaturing special guest Jordan Carlos as IQQPlus cameos by listeners Dariel Cobb and Mark Kauffman.Live sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell Edited by Seth LindTheme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.Opening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz Audio hosting by SimplecastLive show photography by Brian IrwinMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network. Check out all their shows and all the fun Block Party happenings!

Hey everyone, it's Seth, one of the creators of Mission to Zix. And Allie, another one of the creators of Mission to Zix. And we are here because it is the MaxFun Block Party, which is an event across this wonderful podcast network with the aim of connecting new listeners with shows that they will love. This week, all the MaxFun shows are publishing special episodes aimed at new people. If you're one of those new people, welcome! Mission to Zix is an improvised sci-fi sitcom following a misfit crew that includes a sentient spaceship,

used to be a famous actor, a super dumb clone trooper, a know-it-all protocol droid, there's a naive farm boy who could maybe be the savior of the galaxy? Maybe! I play Dar, a 12-foot-tall, muscle-bound, and horny security officer. And I play Nermit, who's a 19-inch-tall lizard bird who manages the team very capably. He's kind of striving, let's be honest.

No, no, no. He's good. He's good. He does his job well. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Our episodes are typically recorded in studio and lovingly edited and meticulously sound

designed so they sound like a movie. But what you're about to hear is actually her most recent live performance, fully improvised with live voice filters and sound effects featuring beloved guest comedian Jordan Carlos. And the thing about our live shows is that sometimes people convince friends who've never even heard of Mission to Six to accompany them. So we designed the live shows to be accessible to newbies and fans alike. That's why we chose it for the block party. Right.

An elegant choice, really. I know. I think we did a great thing, really, for the community. It's like a, you know, you're welcome is what we're trying to... Let's take a moment to pat ourselves on the back here. Yeah, yeah. You've never heard the show yet, but I'm sure you're already thinking. I'm sure you're getting the right impression.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Totally. So if you're new and you like it, you can check out our whole archive. If you are already a fan, we encourage you to share this episode because, as you may or may not know, Maximum Fun is a collection of listener-supported, creator-owned shows, and one of the best ways to lend support is simply by spreading the word to your friends.

Yeah. And if you're someone who likes tangible instructions, how about share it with like the five people, you know, who are most likely to hear from you and say, never heard of that, but sure. I'll give it a shot.

Tag us. We're at mission to Zix tag your friends. We will reply and thank you. But most importantly, we hope you enjoyed this episode and the block party, which has a lot of super fun things that you will want to get involved in and check out. There's trivia. There are live streams. There's limited edition merch. They're adding more stuff all the time. Find out more at MaximumFun.org slash block party. They may even add a virtual bouncy house. We'll see. We'll see. That's MaximumFun.org slash block party. They may even add a virtual bouncy house. We'll see. We'll see.

That's MaximumFun.org slash block party. All right. Enjoy the episode. We hope you become a big fan or stay a fan. And don't stop being a fan because of it. Enjoy. Hi, everybody. How's it going?

Welcome. Thank you so much for being here at the Bell House. Our first show in so long. We're so stoked. Just by a round of applause, is there anyone here who has never listened to the podcast Mission Results? Wow. Seriously? That many people? Are we? Okay.

Two episodes? That's all you need. There's no real continuity or anything, so you're fine. Well. Mission Is Us is a long-form improvised podcast. Following a group of misfits as they traverse the galaxy in search of bringing peace and prosperity to, you know, the cosmos. That pretty much sums it up, right? You don't really need to know anything else. Cool.

If there's anything that you don't follow, feel free to interrupt us. We'll pull over. We'll explain everything. I just want to introduce our intrepid crew. Give a big hand of applause to our sound rod, Shane O'Connell! Thank you! Let's welcome out our cast.

First, we have the intrepid protocol in diplomatic relations, C-53, Jeremy Bell. We have the enormous security guard turned captain turned security guard again, who when we explain the show to our guests, she refers to the character as Horny Chewbacca. It's Dar Ali Kokas! You might know him as Junior Missions Operations Manager Nirmal Bundle. You might also know him as Temporary Immiscerial

Negotiations Emergency Negotiations Missions Operations Manager Nirmal Bundle. You might also know him as Berman Nle-like. Seth Lang! Next we have Ship of the Stars, Ship of the Stairs,

Hollywood starlet turned director, the Bergerian Jane, Mujadzujato Vergara! And next we have my wife's favorite cast member. You might know him as Bino, you might know him as AJ2884, you might know him as theano. You might know him as AJ2884. You might know him as the Hand of the Governor of Milch.

You might know him as hundreds of other characters in the galaxy. It's AJ Winston-Null! You might know him as Intellius Quint Quinn, also the space pimp of the Zank District, IQQ Jordan Carlin! Yeah! Oh,

sheesh. Here we go. So, we're actually going to present now to you a lost episode from season four. Let's say that this episode takes place somewhere between episodes 405 and 415. For those of you keeping track at home. Let's get started!

For those of you keeping track at home. Yeah. Let's get started! It is a time of chaos. Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course, the colossal old. Which looks like if the sun were goth. Now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission 2-6. I am the captain and nothing will ever change that.

I am the captain. I'll be the captain forever. I'm Bucky and I'll always be successful. I am Bucky and I'll always be successful. I am Plek and I have a plan. I'm pretty sure it's gonna work out. Do-do-do-do. AJ, that's when you come in.

You missed your mark. Yeah, AJ, you gotta get in the circle. Oh, I hate these games. No, they're fun. These are like stupid improv games. I hate this shit. No, no. AJ, relax.

All we're doing is just sort of recapping what's going on. Okay. I am AJ. I don't really change. I don't experience growth, and I'm pretty much the same. Hey, arrived! Good job! That was good. That was good. Alright, C-53, you're

next. Yeah, get in here, you loader droid. The circle is very tight, so if we could expand... Fine. I'm sorry. No, no, it's fine. Gosh, what a cumbersome, uncomfortable frame. I doubt I'll ever be in anything as unlikable as this Loader Droid frame. But to music, to music. Right, right.

I am C-53, and I'm not crazy about this Loader Droid frame. Was that too jazzy? It was catchy. Yeah, I liked it. It was really nice. I like what you did with your forklift arms. You kind of waved them a little like that. That was nice.

Like this? Yeah, exactly. Very good. Oh, man. How many more of these team-building exercises do we have to do, Captain Dark? Well, Nermin said we've got to get through another five, right? Five? Yeah.

What's the next one? What's the next one? All right, we all have to clap all together. What? At the same time. Yeah, yeah, but we can't count. You just have to feel it. It's an impulse, you know?

Ah, no, I jucked that up. Clap. Clap. Clap. Okay, if I keep clapping, somebody join in. Okay, yeah. Okay, all right, yeah. I think that's not really in the spirit.

I know another game. I know another game. Okay. Everyone tell me your deepest, darkest secret. Which strike team mission do you want me to talk about this time? AJ, no, actually, I don't want to know any of that. Let's go back to clapping. I never said I was a role model.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Captain Dora, I'm getting an incoming transmission from whatever our missions operations manager, Nermin Bundle, is being referred to as. Is this part of the game? What's happening? Oh, that beef between you and Nermin still exists. I see. You know, there were some words exchanged, and I'd rather not give this full title right now. We should probably pick up this call.

Yeah, we should. Hey, Nermin. What's up? What was the delay? We had to clap at the same time. It took a little while. Okay. Makes sense to me, a lover of team building. Yeah, yeah.

You should be here. Hey, do you want to sing a song about your status quo right now? Oh, sure. Wow, he's really going for it. Yeah. Let me just... Oh, wow. No, you don't have to use the keyboard, Nermin. You don't have to. Okay, okay.

They still haven't caught me for killing that guy that everybody loved who makes all the cookies. Oh, right. Nightmares every night. Nightmares every night. Nightmares every night. I mean every night. Nightmares every night.

Wow. I mean, technically, that's two team buildings at once, because he sang and she heard a deep, dark secret. Yeah. That's true. Wow. That's a good point. Good job, Morgan.

Pretty good. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, guys, guess what I called about? It's a mission. Oh, hey. Awesome. Okay.

Cool. Remember how we went back to the Zank District and we were chased away by IQQ, who you guys resexified? No. Can you elaborate? I'm mind wiped. I believe he had reformed his entire planet, but then the sex gun, which was lodged inside Dar,

was given to him. He shot at you guys a lot, lot, lot, lot, lot as you're leaving, and you barely lived. Yeah, I don't expect to ever hear from him ever again. We're going back. Hold on, we're going what now? Yeah, Nermin, you've got to be kidding. There's no way IQQ wants to see us again.

We'll get chased off the planet. This embossed invitation might say otherwise. Oh, an invitation to what? It's an invitation to a dinner party. Margie can read from far away. Yeah, Margie, read it aloud. Dearest crew of Mission Tuesday. That's not what we're called.

That's not what we're called. What's a Mission Tuesday? I don't even make feds. We're here. That's not what we're called. What's a mission to... We're here. We're already in Zix. It's a mission to Zix. Yeah, it's a mission in Zix, if anything. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. We're in the Zix, which is located in the Zix district under the guidance of Sisu Gundu.

Zix district? It's a Zix quadrant. I don't know. I'm just reading it. She's reading it. No, no, no. She's reading it. I just don't know why IQ'm just reading it. She's reading it. No, no, no. She's reading it. I just don't know why IQQ would write that.

It just doesn't make any sense. Well, you know, you go to a cover-up print shop, and they're going to... Oh, sure. They may have switched the Ps and Qs, right? Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah.

Wait, hold on. I have an amazing palette in which I can stream in the voice of the person who wrote the letter. Oh, right. Cool. Wow. I really hope we get to see this over and over again in the rest of the person who wrote the letter. Oh, right. Cool. Wow, I really hope we get to see this over and over again in the rest of our adventures. Why don't we hear it according to the way it was written? Yeah, you should do this every time we get a message.

Uh, well... I want all of the mission to Ziggs, folks. Again, why is... Very weird way to... To come to the Ziggs, folks. I get wired. Very weird way to... To come to the Z district. Not quadrant. It's a common mistake.

But lately we've done changed the name. But the game remains the same. Bring something nice for dinner. Hold on. Wait, we're getting invited to dinner, but we have to provide dinner? That's your problem with this invitation.

Post script. Just don't come empty handed. Okay. All right. Oh, boy. I don't think I've ever seen such a formal invitation to a potluck before. Yeah, Nermit, why do you think IQQ is even inviting us to this? Yeah, we can't go to this.

Yeah, Sisu's running against him for galactic leader. Well, Sisu got the invitation, and she's busy, so she RSVP'd no, and it just sort of kicks... Hi, crew. Oh, Sisu. Sisu. I'm sorry, I just heard of kicks. Hi, crew. Oh, Sisu. I'm sorry, I just heard my name. I just wanted to chime in.

Yes, I'm very busy, but I trust you all to continue the Sisu name in a way that's, you know. Tasteful, respectful. Exactly, thank you. Beautiful. I'm so sorry, Nermid. Sweet smelling. Thank you, thank you. AJ, relax.

Dignified, yet approachable! Thank you. AJ, relax. Dignified yet approachable! Okay, alright, AJ. Sisu, listen, you gotta understand, the last time we saw IQQ he tried to murder all of us. The only reason we didn't die was because Dar is capable of handling so much sexual energy. Yeah! They shielded all of us

from that attack. Okay, great! Just don't embarrass me and have so much fun, okay? I'm so busy. I would go if I could. Okay, bye-bye. No. Busy and beautiful. Busy and beautiful.

Okay. All right. Has it been, has it been, she hung up? Hey, do I look okay? Yeah. I have my formal armor on. It's just your regular armor with, like, gold piping on the okay? Yeah. I have my formal armor on. It's just your regular armor with, like, gold piping on the edges. Yeah. I mean, it looks good.

It does. It's formal. Listen, guys, you know, I know we're about to walk into a pretty loaded situation, so I just want you to know I've got my wood saber. I will defend you if I need to. Yeah, stop swinging around. Yeah, no one needs to see that. Are you ready to hatch to hatch with me, IQQ's face catamaran? Yes!

All right. Bargy, let's open the hatch listen everybody i got your backs we're gonna be all right let's just play it cool and you know maybe pluck i am a protocol in diplomatic relations right a formal state dinner there is nothing that i am better suited... Oh my gosh, I just dropped... I dropped the casserole. Oh no! No! I don't have fine... That was the one... That was the one...

That was on your arms, and you just sort of like... Somehow they went down. Okay, scoop, scoop, scoop back into the... It didn't detect a load. Scoop! It's still good. C-53, you are a loader. Casserole in the hat.

Your casserole in the hat. Oh no! It's still good. It's Garfond Casserole. It's still good. You are a loader. Casserole in the hat. Oh, no. It's still good. It's Garfond Casserole. It's still good. C-53, even if you're not in the best protocol frame, carrying something should be your whole thing.

These forklift arms didn't detect a load. The casserole was too light to register. Hello there. I am a sex robot. I would like to take you to IQQ's having the dinner party. Oh, wow. Well, hello. Hi. What's the vibe in there?

Yeah, good question, Captain. How's it going? That's a Captain material right there. As a sex robot, I'm pretty limited in the vibes that I know. I would say it's pretty moist. Wait. Your only ability to

gauge the vibe is a spectrum of moistness? Yeah. Is that them? Oh, yes. Enter. Enter, yes. Enter. Enter, please. Enter me.

My ship. My ship. My beautiful catamaran. Wow. Very nice. It's like I'm speaking to you generally, but I'm looking at you each in the eye very sexually.

I am registering that. Is that a casserole? It was. Yeah, it's sort of a casserole. Oh, my. It's a deconstructed casserole. A hastily reconstructed. Yeah.

Can I say something now? Yes. I love a deconstructed, hastily reconstructed casserole. I would stick my, you know, shirt all up in it. Okay. Honestly, that might be the best use for it right now.

Yeah. But we should eat it. We should eat it. We should eat it. Yeah, does he want to eat the casserole or chuck the casserole? I want to eat it. We should eat it. We should eat it. Yeah, does he want to eat the casserole or chuck the casserole? I want to eat it. I want to pleasure it. Okay.

Pleasure the casserole? Is that all y'all brought? No dessert? That's all right. We got plenty to lick on and suck on. All right. What? You Alright You know listen IQQ I just wanted to say on behalf of the whole crew You know I know things sort of ended badly

The last time we Interacted You wanted to kill us Let's not bicker and argue About that You know what I mean We were kids then, you know? It was like two months ago.

We were kids, right? Is the humidity at a level that's good for all of y'all? Yeah. It's pretty wasted here, I guess. I can put it harder. 95% Wow. Yeah, we're going to make it rain for us. It's pretty wasted here, I guess. I can put it harder. The humidity is at 95%.

Wow. Yeah, we're going to make it rain for us. But please, but please, have a seat. Have a seat. Have a seat around the table. Have a seat, please. This is fun. It's cushions on the ground.

Yes, yes. Yeah, not formal because some of us wore, you know, formal armor and feel a little dumb and overdressed. But yeah, let's throw on these cushions. They didn't tell you the vibe? They didn't tell you the vibe before you came? Well, now I know the vibe. He was moist.

Very moist. Very moist, I'm sorry. IQQ sat you down in a way that he views you. Oh. Okay, so I'm actually over in the corner of the room and not even at the table. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That corner is dry. It's amazing that it's this damp where I am.

Very dry over here. You know, I'm fine with it. That's cool. it's this damp where I am. Very dry over here. You know what? I'm fine with it. That's cool. That's fine. Dar, why don't you pull up right next to me in the power position? Oh, okay. Scared but excited.

Okay. And everybody else, you know, just find a place. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Dar gets to sit next to you. I have to sit in the corner. Everybody else just does what place. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Dargis is there next to you. I have to sit in the corner. Everybody else just does what they want? Don't ruin this for me.

Sorry, sorry. Well, I guess, yeah. I mean, normally at a formal occasion, there are table settings. But, yeah, great. Let's just all grab a seat like animals. AJ, calm down. AJ, that's never going to be appropriate at this time. My bad.

Also, as you can tell, IQQ has only invited you as a guest, except for one other person. Hi, I'm Carol. Oh, hello, Carol. Hi, Carol. How do you know IQQ? Oh, Carol. Hi, Carol. How do you know IQQ? Oh, we went to college together. We did.

We went to Brown University. It's a very good school. Wow. Sometimes it's embarrassing if we're in an intergalactic station. We're like, we see other people that would brown. We say, oh, a lot of brown people in here. And it's needle scratch. And people think, is that racial?

And we're like, no. Uh-uh. Wow. But no secrets between me and Carol. Now he knows everything about me. Wow. Thanks for being here, I guess. IQQ, you're not involved.

You have a wife and kids, right? Huh? I'm not limited by such boundaries. I am different. I am different, like I said. This is why you're in the dry corner. Okay, sorry. Look at you all in the dry corner.

So let me get this straight. Yes. We have formal embossed invitations. One for us, one for Carol. That's me! And that's it? Well, I just wanted to, you know, break bread. And break, you know, break bread and break, you know, space, uh, bread.

Oh, Carol, did you bring the space bread to the potluck? Yeah, of course. But would you like to know what's on menu? Oh, absolutely. Only strong aphrodisiacs. Okay. Wow. Ersters.

Oh. Yes. Ersters? Yeah, ersters. Okay. Wow. Ursters. Oh. Yes. Ursters? Yeah, ursters. Yeah. From the Nimbus Quadrant, the sexiest quadrant to get ursters from. I mean, famously, yeah. They're chocolate ursters.

Wow. They're chocolate ursters. That potent. Very strong. Very strong. And then also chilled out, just chilled sex pills. Wow. Kind of made that into a nice puree for y'all.

And I hope you enjoy that. So that's the soup is chopped up sex pills. Changed it. Chopped up sex pills. Chilled pill soup. In the Zinc District, that is a delicacy. Oh, wow. Okay, what vibe would we say this is?

This is a band called Moist. The band is Moist. It's still really dry over here. Are you guys hearing music? Because I can't hear anything. You hear like a code of silence. I can't hear any music. You guys are all vibing.

IQQ, we're just going to check out Plex dry corner for just one second. You stay over here on the pillows. Okay. What is going on? Yeah, what is going on? Why is there no formal settings? AJ, you got to let that go, buddy. Just little placards.

That's all I'm asking for so we all know where we sit. Or a chart where it's like, okay, I'm at table seven, but there are not multiple people. There's just Carol. How is this a formal dinner party? AJ, we only have a limited time for this aside. I thought he wanted to kill us. Yeah, I don't know.

It seems that maybe he wants something from us. Yeah, maybe he wants to make some sort of political alliance. I don't get it. Or physical alliance. I think it's a physical alliance. Are the oysters the first step and then it's the soup? Why does it matter?

What could possibly be the difference? What's the difference? It is a difference. If I'm having a chocolate oyster and then I have a sex pill soup, that's going to ruin my palate. But if you do it the other way? Well, the other way, I'm already pilled up.

It doesn't matter what happens. Yeah, but you're going to chill in soup. You're essentially freezing your taste buds, and then you're going to eat something? You'll taste it all? I don't know. We will figure this out, but I think one of us needs to corner Carol.

She says she knows everything about IQQ. Good idea. Well, if anybody's going to corner it, it should be the guy in the corner. I would agree with this. Yeah, good point. Okay, I'll work on Carol. You guys distract IQQ. These chocolate oysters are going to eat themselves.

I can handle that. We're doing that first I can handle that. We're doing that first. Okay. Okay. Whatever. That's cool. I eat family style.

You know what I'm saying? How does your family eat chocolate oysters? Come and I will show you how. The ways. Okay, we'll go. Hey, Carol. Yeah? It's pretty dry over there.

Do you want to see how dry it is over there? Oh, sure. I love different sorts of weather. Hi, Carol. Hey. Hi, I'm Carol. Hi, Carol. Wow.

So you went to, what, Brown University? I went to Brown University. So is the whole planet like a dirt or a dust planet? Be careful. What did you say? Like the geography of the planet. Is it brown?

Well, it was very nice to meet you. But the Carol's already coming back from the drive-by. What did I do? What did I do? What? What? What?

These are good. These are great, right? Yeah, these are good. Have another. Have another. Have a sister. Have a brother. Do it. I kick you. You must apologize. You know, as a driver, have a brother. Do it. You must apologize. You know, as a driver, I can't eat so I will respectfully...

It's like when you invite a vegan to a party, alright. Well, it's not a choice. It's okay. What can you eat? Do you have any power? Oh, we got power. We got power.

Why don't you just go up to the main deck, all right, and take in the galactic winds. Oh, is it galactic wind powered? It's galactic wind powered catamaran. I love wind power. Suck those in. Okay. I'll just be over here. Yeah, just slake your thirst in the galactic winds.

Whoa, that's a lot of wind power. Yeah. That's very salty. It's really... Anybody else got any food allergies I should be aware of at this point? So, what are these flats and chutes? I'm so glad you asked.

Wow! In fact, stand back, just a little tap. Okay, okay. Wow! I know. Now, isn't that fun? Moisture level increase.

Yeah. That was bound to happen, yeah. Now, I have something similar going on too. Oh, oh, oh, just removing your top. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I I have something similar going on too. Oh. Oh. Oh. Just removing your top. Okay. Yeah. Yeah I just like to make him jingle jangle. Okay. I guess yeah that

could be like. I have 700 nipples. And they are all incredibly erect right now. Is Carol boring you with her story of having 700 nipples a year? I tell that to everyone.

IQQ, I believe it's time for me to introduce to everybody your Jep Talk. What? Yes. Yes. I thought this was a dinner party. Well, it's a lot of things.

But now there's a screen coming down from the ceiling. I am IQQ's hype woman. I'm here if you need me, okay? Yes. 700 nipples. Welcome to my... Welcome once again to my jet talk. I cannot look at my notes and i only have 12 minutes to connect with you 12 minutes thank you only 12 you well probably two and a half

the point is this uh why i've invited you in here today is to, the fact that I want to change the world. I want to upend the way we think about energy. I want to disrupt disruption. I'm interested. Yeah, okay, so. Now you're on board. You get a lot of power from galactic winds, yes? Yeah, it's pretty salty that I'm dying.

I think I actually gotta unplug it. It's really starting to clog my ports here. Absolutely. Something that I have worked abundantly in is sex work. Wait, what? You have all been a part of this, a part of my story. You know, like at first I had a wonderful bordello going on and you disrupted that. And then I absolutely had a wonderful society that was built and you disrupted that.

And that was built on former sex workers. But then I thought, what am I doing? What about the power of sex work? built on former sex workers but then I thought what am I doing? What about the power of sex work? So what I thought was we could capture that energy from a John or a sex worker within the

the coitus and capture that and then power cities with it. Wow. Okay. I'm sorry. Power cities with it. Hype, hype, hype, hype, hype. Thank you.

Thank you, Carol. You're talking about capturing the heat from... The heat, the passion. Okay. Oh, perhaps the moisture. As you see, this whole ship is an experiment.

Everything around you is powered by sex work. Would you like some cappuccino? Oh, Rodno. Yeah, no, I don't think so. That's okay. The salt in that wind was from bodies of sex. Oh, yeah. So this wasn't galactic wind power at all.

This was sex work power. I gotta discharge my battery or something. This feels really weird. Once it's revealed it's sex work power, it's immediately gross to you. You cringe. Hey, whoa. Okay, if there's a prude on this crew, it's Plek, alright? That's you in the

corner. Yeah. Well, what do you think, Plek? What are your thoughts? Yeah, that's you in the spotlight. I must introduce our next speaker here. The Tellurian dehumidifier. It's hot under this spotlight, but it's a dry heat. You know why?

Because that's... It's powered by butt stuff. Okay. Not sure how that... Not sure how that Not sure how that Connects Maybe I don't get it Yeah we'll explain later Kind of a side note here

But the chilled pill soup is Excellent Really Consomme all the way. Did you say consummate or consummate? We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

Get a drink at the bar at Tip-A-Lot! Thank you! Dude, great work. Well, the first half all done. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. As usual, I'm completely unable to tell if Plex's awkwardness and naivete is the result of commitment to your character

or if that is just you and uh we built i guess built the show around that yeah thank you so much seth i liked your funny line about bureaucracy that dude that's nermat's thing yeah i wouldn't call it a game in a comedy way but it's definitely an interest um so yeah i'm gonna totally try to call back the bureaucracy thing in the second half i meant to to ask you, actually, Seth, where did you get those rad shoes? Oh, you mean these Seabees Hawthorne slip-on perforated terracotta suede shoes that I'm wearing right now at this October 3rd Bell House show? Yes. Unaware that they would be featured in an ad read?

Yes, yes. The shoes you're wearing, and this could be proved by looking at any picture we've posted on social media about the show. Well, I'm glad you asked because I got them at Stitch Fix. Oh, Stitch Fix. Yes. The oft-recurring and much-appreciated sponsor of Mission to Zix. That's the one. Yeah.

Wow. Well, listen, Seth, you'll never believe this, but I myself at this very show, again, provable by looking at pictures of the show, and I'm honestly a little embarrassed to realize this, am wearing a wardrobe entirely comprised of items I got at Stitch Fix without realizing it. Wow. This Bixby Nomad floral print shirt. Zaggy boys! Yes.

These Mavi straight fit jeans. Nice. And these sweet red Bixby Nomad vulcanized sneakers. Wow. That's dedication. Yeah. I mean, Stitch Fix knows my style so well. It won't be until a couple weeks from now that I sit down to write a Stitch Fix ad and

realize that I wore a completely Stitch Fix outfit tonight because I genuinely like the way it fits and looks. Oh, man. I bet that ad is going to be cool. But, you know, do you know that Stitch Fix has a new service that even you may not have tried yet? Really? A new service? I am suddenly skeptical, despite all of the evidence and all of the goodwill they've built up so far. You need to explain it to me.

You think I might be lying. I'm not. It's called Stitch Fix Freestyle. A shop built just for you. Wait, wait. For me? Well, yours is for you. So it's built for any individual is theirs. But yours is for you. Yeah.

So yes. Great. Stitch Fix. The general, the royal you. Is that the, I don't think that's the royal you. You know what I mean. It's the, sure, yeah, I mean, I guess I do, but I know that's not what. You meaning everyone.

I know what you mean, and I know that's not it. Right, okay. So, yes, but anyway, Stitch Fix Freestyle is your trusted style destination where you can discover and instantly buy curated items based on your style, Alden, your likes, and your lifestyle. Style, likes, lifestyle. Zaggy, comfy, and work-from-home podcaster dad, respectively. Awesome. I know what respectively means.

Great. So I'm going to nod at that. Yeah. And, Alden, whether you're looking for a brand you already love or to try a new one, at Stitch Fix Freestyle, you can shop hundreds of brands personalized to your size and fit. You is yours. Anyone else is theirs. You do not have to wait for your monthly fix anymore, respectively.

I don't know about that. I think I nailed it. I mean, it's at least as accurate as the Royal You. Okay, sure. Fair enough. All right. Real question, it's at least as accurate as the royal U. Okay, sure. Fair enough. All right. Real question, though. How can I get in on this?

Glad you asked. Try Stitch Fix Freestyle today by filling out your style quiz at stitchfix.com slash zix. Wow. Thanks, Seth. Even though, honestly, that URL seems aimed more at someone overhearing this conversation than aimed at me, someone who already uses and loves Stitch Fix, more even than I thought. Yeah. Oh, URL, do you mean, oh, stitchfix.com slash six. Yes, that's the one.

Should we actually debrief with the rest of the cast about the first part of the show? Because I feel like that's going to maybe come in handy if we kind of. That's a good idea, but you know what might be a better idea? Let's talk about Stitch Fix a little more. Great. So those shoes, the shoes... Yep, they're red. Yep. You know, we'll talk about mine. Oh, yes. Yeah, your shoes are great, but mine, you have a lot of nice shoes. These are my only nice shoes. Okay, all right. So it's not that much of a coincidence you were wearing them. No, no. You are wearing them right now. If I leave the house, I will have these on right now.

What an endorsement. No, well, that is, I don't know. So the fix in Stitch Fix is that I didn't have shoes. It's fixing that problem. It was fixing your shoelessness. Wow, Darielle. It's so nice to be at a live Mission to Six show. Yeah, Mark.

It's great to see everyone in person. Particularly Alden, with his very cool shirt, pants, and shoes. Seth has nice shoes, too. But the rest of his outfit? Oof. You know, if this were a non-live episode of the show, there would probably be an ad playing right now. Oh, yeah. Performed by two lesser-known characters who were in the middle of some other activity and decided

to discuss a very specific brand for some reason. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, hey, Broglocks, put down that laser wrench and come listen to this sexy audio story from Dipsy. Totally. You mean the audio app full of short stories designed to turn you on? Right. And they'd have

some plot shoehorned in like they release new content every week so there's always more to explore, no matter who you're into or what turns you on, just like we're turning on this temporal branching locator to find a timeline where Beano is still alive. Well, if

you can't find him and you need to wind down, Dipsy also has wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories, and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. Exactly. We should be writing these ads. Yeah. Seriously, though, did you know that for listeners of Mission to Zix, Dipsy is offering a free 30-day trial when you go to dipsystories.com slash ZYXX? I'd be lying if I said I didn't.

Either way, it's true. 30 days of full access for free when you go to D-I-P-S-E-A stories.com slash Z-Y-X-X. They say that every time, and it still blows me away. dipsystories.com slash ZYXX. Shh, they're coming back out. Welcome back. Bye, Dad. And that's my other son, Gerald.

And that's my daughter, Suzette. And that's my 699th nipple. Wow. What a great dinner party. We've gone through the entire family tree of the other person here. IQQ, you know, I just want to say what a great dinner party it's been. Can I actually use the restroom

real quick? Uh, I don't know. Can you? Do you not know how to use the restroom? No, you're right. You know, you shot me out into space. You know, I'll give you a hard time.

You know, you find it down in the galley is fine. Just unzip your pants, please. I know how to use the arrest. Thank you. Alright. Sisu. Sisu.

Sisu. Nermit. Somebody pick up. Hello. Hello. Nermit. Yeah. Listen.

I'm trying to clap at the same time as myself. No. What? I don't have a team. So I'm... trying to... That's so sad, but I have bigger things to talk about. Okay. I need you to get Sisu something.

I don't understand what's happening here on IQQ's ship. Can you get Sisu? Like, I think if I clap twice, it's two claps. I don't know if that's... Think about it this way, Nermin. If you clap, your left hand's clapping, your right hand's clapping. That's two claps. That's one clap at the same time.

You're doing it fine. I think you're patronizing me. No. All right, fine. Let's go. Ready? Yep. Nope.

There's got to be a lag. Next is my lunch break. Okay. Can you please get Sisu? Sisu! Yes, hi. Hello, Nermin. Now, Nermin, did you get the spreadsheet? Sisu! Yes, hi. Hello, Nermin. Now, Nermin, did you get the spreadsheet that I needed?

Yes, I did. This is important! Did you hear the word spreadsheet? This is important, too. Now, are the numbers at the end equal to the numbers in the beginning? They are so close. Fantastic. Can you double it and send me a new report?

Sure. Sisu. No. Do what? No. Okay, fine. Bargy. Bargy, come in, Bargy.

Bargy. Everything's going to be great for me. I'm going to be successful. Everything's going to be fine. There's never going to be any moment of doubt in my life. Everything is going to be great. Bargy. I'm over myself. There's nobody there. Just being myself. Bargy! Bargy!

Bargy! Bargy, it's Plek. What? Bargy, it's Plek. Where? Bargy, it's Plek. Where are you? You're not inside of me. I don't understand. What? What? You okay in there?

Did you fall in? No, I'm good. Thank you. What is that you? What are you talking to in there? I'll be honest. Everything's going great. What do you mean it's going great in the bathroom? Sorry, I should have oversold it.

Everything's totally normal. Okay. Okay. What? Yes, what? Bargy. You called me? What? Bargy, listen. I don't know what's going on, but this is the weirdest dinner party I've ever

been to. Please, find us. Oh, you need advice. Bargy's advice for being good at Indianapadi. Alright, you ready? Get some notes out. What? Alright. Number one, show a little. Show a little what? You know what I mean. I don't...

I have no idea. Number two, just drink a little more than you usually do. Okay. Okay. All right. Thank you, Bargy. I'll put that to good use. Can you please just find us on your radar?

Send our coordinates to Sisu. Something's going on. We need to figure out what it is. Hold on. I got another call. I'll talk to you later. There you are. It's kind of cramped down here, but I want to show you something.

Me? Yes, you. Should we get everybody else in here? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just you. Okay, sure. Come to my private quarters. Okay.

Yeah, okay. What do you think? All sat in everything. This is your... This is my private quarters. Your private quarters, yeah. This is my private quarters. It's great.

It's great. It's my private. I don't... The bed's totally round. That's awesome. Yes, it is. It circles within circles like a Jasper Johns nightmare of sex. Now then.

Yeah, I don't know. You do? Oh, now you do know. Now you know. I guess I do, yeah. All right, great. I want to show you something that I keep under glass. Oh, okay.

Bleep, bloop, bloop, bloleep, bloop, bloop, bloop, bleep, bloop, bloop. That's pretty cool that you programmed the buttons to make the sound of you saying beep, boop, boop. Yes, I have. But look at this. It's my

sex gun. Remember this? Yeah, I do How could I forget? I keep it at the foot of my bed Do you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why? It's a rhetorical question I'm gonna tell you why

Okay, tell me, yes To show that I don't need it anymore Yes Okay, that's at the foot of your bed At the foot of my bed to show that I don't need it anymore. Yes. Okay, that's at the foot of your bed. At the foot of my bed. I don't need it anymore. But, you know, I keep it there because it's a part of me,

but it's no longer controlling me. And do you feel a sense of security now? That's not at all false yeah I mean I I guess I do you know what IQQ I gotta say a good relationship sexual otherwise is built on trust and I just want you to know that I

Sugarcane trust you IQ cute you uh i think i just got poisoned what what's going on up there my uh my suit is giving me some toxicity warning oh let's you know let's let's all go back up to the dinner table as it were there could be certain it started going off after i ate the oysters Yeah, uh The chocolate oysters Did everybody have the chocolate oysters and the consomme? Well, no As I said, I'm a droid So I can't eat either of those things

I've been taking I'm rising to the challenge here I'm taking a lot of this sexual energy That you said you're investing in And it's I'm really sweaty I could use a glass of water To be honest that you said you're investing in, and it's... I'm really sweaty, and I could... I could use a glass of water,

to be honest, and my lower back is very cramped, and I don't know if that's a side effect of the power, but it's... I'm starting to... I feel good, but I feel crazy right now.

The droid has been requesting cigarillos. So many cigarillos. That would be great. Oh, man. That would really cap this off great. Please have as many as you like. And by the way, there are only effects, no side effects.

Okay, well, normal power does not have this many effects, I guess is what I'm saying. IQQ, it's me, Carol. I just wanted to ask you, what's dessert? Oh, good question. Time to go to the dessert ship for dessert. There's a dessert ship?

We can't possibly eat dessert on my catamaran. Oh, yeah. No, a classic dinner party thing of going to a second location. I see nothing wrong with a second location. Yeah, and let's just continue to talk about how you've been poisoned while we head on over there. Hold on a second. What did you do to Agent? What did you do to AJ? What did I do?

What did I do? He's the one who ate the sex pill puree. It's for everybody. I ate both courses because that is polite. I don't understand. AJ, let it go. You eat what's put in front of you. That is what you do at a dinner party.

And you don't go to it. I'm going numb. I'm going numb. No, AJ. AJ. No. No. No.

No. Before you exit me, you should know the name of me, your sentient ship. I am Jasper Johns. Have fun on the other desert ship. Dessert, yes. You're going to be deserted out here. For this desert ship is actually a jail ship. That was with what?

Okay. Yes! My revenge is complete. Now you... Am I the only one who ate both courses? Is that why I'm poisoned? I honestly thought all of you ate both courses. Okay, raise your hands if you did not eat both courses.

I can't eat any courses. I can't raise my hands. Also, when you said one of the courses was sex pills, I was like, I don't know. Can't you just for once trust me? You know, it's hard to trust. You're still holding the sex gun that you said you didn't need anymore. Well, now, yes. And now it's all fired up.

It's veiny and ready to go. Oh, boy. I can't move my arms or legs. I got you. I got you. I got you. I'm just asking. I don't. I got you. I got you. I'm just asking. I don't have a casserole guy holding me.

You don't end up like the casserole. You're going to end up like... Sorry, AJ. Ow. Good Lord. I still haven't made love to it. Wait, to me or the casserole? The casserole.

I need to make love to that casserole so that my revenge can be complete. In the zinc system. In the zinc system. Starting again because I'm so excited. In the zinc system, no revenge is complete until you've chucked a casserole. Wait, so let me get this straight. Yes. Just a classic recap here. Yes.

I have time. So you have lured us to I don't want to be rude, but a really shitty dinner party. Excuse me? For someone who loves following dinner party rules. Yikes. Party foul. You served us poison.

Yes. And then you were going to take us onto a desert ship. Okay. Where you're going to desert us. Yes. Kind of like in a jail. I just, again, I have been poisoned. Yes, you're right.

And we were all going to be poisoned. What did you do to AJ? What didn't I do? I freed him from the bonds of regular food. What? I asked you at the beginning, does anybody have any allergies? You did ask that? Didn't I say that?

You did say that. I did. And no, I just skipped right by. I said, does anybody have any allergies? This was the moment. So I would say, poison? Yes. I'm allergic to poison?

If you're allergic to sex puffer fish, then say that. Sex puffer fish? Sex puffer fish. You squeeze a sex puffer fish into the consummation. You don't have to go out of the way to say poison is going to be bad for me. Any kind of neurotoxin I'm allergic to. Get in your cells and

hand me that Pyrex dish. I will hand you the casserole, but I'll warn you again. My manual dexterity is not what it once was, so you may need to sort of... Into the space vacuum! Get back in the cataract! Get in the cataract, quick! Quick! Quick!

Now he's firing the sex gun! Run! Run! Star, you're the only one who can understand the sex gun! It's firing the sex gun. Run, run. You're the only one who can withstand the sex gun. It's my time to shine. Fire, fire. I didn't want to do this to you. Star, get out of the way. Star, get out of the way.

Is he shooting at the shooting? It's got a rhythm now. I will have my revenge in this life or the next. Let's share a cigarillo. Wow. Okay. Arms are, yep, arms are working again. AJ, how did you survive being poisoned? Oh, I have like three livers. What? Yeah, three livers. Yeah, I'm a super soldier. I have three livers. What? Yeah, three livers. Yeah, I'm a super soldier.

I have three livers. Pretty helpful. Everyone's looking like it's weird, but not the weirdest thing that's happened tonight. Sorry, I'm still coming down from all that sexual energy

I absorbed on I can't kiss catamarans Yeah it's really hard Not to hit on all of you Right now Hey Baji How was your day? What did you do all day?

I care about you Wow Baji we were attacked By a maniac With a sex gun We were One of us was poisoned I was poisoned.

I was poisoned, Bargy. Yeah, whatever. I got brunch with Sandra and let me tell you, yikes. Bargy, I'm sorry. I do not know who Sandra is. Sandra's one of my closest friends. We go to brunch every Tuesday.

Bargy, was it a... How many courses did you have? Was it like a kind of normal flow? It was like three courses, like general, you know, you know, all the napkins

and everything. Did you drink a little more than you, than you, you know. I drank a little, I showed a little, you know how I do.

And I had fun. Anyway, I got a letter. I just got a letter, but I don't feel comfortable doing my own voice, so I'd rather do it in the voice

of the person who sent it. Oh, Sandra's voice? No, IQQ. Wait, we have a letter from IQQ? Allow me to deliver it personally, as I am on your ship again. That's right. Oh, you thought this was the Requiem,

but let me tell you, the action's still going on. That's not usually what happens. Normally, we get a call from Nermit, like, any time now. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, let me tell you what's not going to happen. I'm going to stand by this airlock, and y'all are not

going to shoot me out. Oh, shit! Oh! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, that's what I feel like.

You can't stand by that airlock. That was a gimme. That was a real gimme. Tarji, thank you for saving our lives again. What? Captain Dora, I have an incoming transmission from Nermit Bundle. Okay. He, Nermit, sorry. Hi, Nermit Sorry Hi Nermit

Wow Hi I'm seeing a lot of just like Rare that you can see sexual energy Yeah I can see it Thank you Oh, Archie's showing more than she normally is

Yeah, she's showing a lot Wow I got poisoned I don't know if anybody cares But it was pretty dicey there For a few minutes That was pretty intense Nermit you missed a lot

Especially since I called you and asked you for help And you were in the middle of a spreadsheet conversation Oh yeah let me tell you what happened No I don't care Nermit I don't care AJ got poisoned. C-53 got loaded up with sexual energy. Dara got shot countless times with his X-Gun again.

And I had a brunch with Sandra, you know. What? With Sandra. What? Nermin, I know we have to complete team building. Sure. But if we did trust falls right now I could not handle it

Actually, speaking of team building I have sort of good news, bad news I have a team That's the good news Wait, what? Obviously you guys But like locally in the base You have a base team?

Yeah, it's just me and Dale's son. Oh, that's the guy we shot and killed, right? Wow, yeah, and just like that, all that sexual energy gone. Did he make all those cookies on your desk? Yeah. No, no. He made my roll. He never made mine. He's on your desk? Yeah. Mommy, can you remember anything about my girl?

Um, he was, um... Oh, wow. Fast. Dale's son. Not a grown son. Dale's, uh, toddler. You guys should do the deep, dark, secret team building exercise. I made you something. I made you a mind, Dad. I made you something

and you don't mind it. I made you cookies. Thanks so much. Nermit, listen. A good relationship, sexual otherwise, is all about trust. And Dale Jr. trusts you. You shouldn't.

Yeah. What? I just, um... Did you do something and you're afraid to admit it? No, I have a... Bermit cookie allergy. Oh! Bermit, team build.

Admit your deepest, darkest secret. Yeah, Bermit, do it. I am Berman Nundaloy. Sorry, I have a thing that just cues applause when I say

Berman Nundaloy. Who? That noise sounded sort of like unearned cheering and applause. I think we killed IQQ, too.

Well, he left one more letter. Oh, come on. One more letter from IQQ? Wait, did he say this after we shot him into space? Yeah, he's a fast runner. Oh, so he's not dead. Okay. So he's not dead. Okay.

So he's not dead. Oh, yeah. It's embossed and everything. He says it's the moral to the story. The moral to the story. The moral. Where to begin in my letter. First of all, thank you so much for coming to my dinner.

That's good, yeah, that's good. That's the right thing to do. Even though y'all brought the casserole from hell, I just want to say, from the bottom of my bottom, the major takeaway from today is you cannot kill an idea sex work power now sex work power forever that sounds now that's earned applause. Oh, wow. This is C-Red IT5. Credits and attributions

joined by C-Red. C-Red was played by Alden Ford. C-Red was played by Jeremy Venn. Jasper Johns and Irving Bundeloy were played by Jeremy Bent. Jasper Johns and Jeremy Bundeloy were played by Seth Lynn. Carol and Margie the Ship were played by Mujan Solpagari.

AJ was played by Winston Knoll. IQQ was played by special guest Jordy Carlos. Captain Dar was played by Ali Kokesh sound design by Shane O'Connell special guests this audience

thank you all again for coming to the show we'll see you after. Thank you so much for coming to the show. We're going to hang out and have a drink with you guys. This was amazing. Thank you again to Jordan Carlos for guesting on the show. Have a great night. Stay safe.

We love you all. Thank you so much. There's a lot of ways to get around this day and age You gotta pick your favorite first Don't let those other guys take what you wanna fly You gotta quench that thirst If you're like me, you want a fast ride You wanna go, go, go, go And that's why you, when you think of me

You sure you know, know, know That I need a fast way to get there. Something I got, got, got, got deep inside. I'm not someone who can just sit around. I've got a long speed of ride. Got a long speed of ride. Hey, it's Allie again. And Seth. Thanks so much for listening to the live show.

Whether you're here because of the block party or a long-time listener, we hope that visualizing a chilled suit made of sex pills was on your list of fun things to think about today. Mm, wow. And as we said, the Block Party is all about connecting listeners with awesome, max fun shows you maybe haven't heard yet. So now we just want to shout out a few of our favorites,

which you should check out. Dr. Game Show is a sweet, bonkers, family friendly show where Joe Firestone and Manolo Moreno play listener submitted games. Regardless of quality or coherence, is there how they describe the games that are submitted i love that show um fanti is this hilarious and smart celebration of pop culture that the hosts

trevell anderson and jared hill love but also kind of hate or at least have complicated feelings about that's fanti like fan and anti. Yeah, but who doesn't have complicated feelings about the things they love? Exactly. That's why the show's good. Judge John Hodgman, in which, you know, the Honorable John Hodgman presides over cases small and ridiculous. Classic. And then there's the Beef and Dairy Network

podcast, which claims to be the number one podcast for those involved in or just even interested in the production of beef animals and dairy herds it's actually this hilariously dry british comedy show we had the pleasure of meeting and working with its creator benjamin partridge on a different live show and the list goes on and on there's so many great shows check out all the shows at maximumfund.org and go to maximumfund.org block party for all the block party stuff you can participate in.

And we'll be back in two weeks with a brand new episode, number 512, just for you. But of course, if you're new to the show, if you listen to about seven episodes a day, you should be all caught up in two weeks. That's all you need to do. Have fun. Bye. I'm Lisa Hanawalt. That's all you need to do. Have fun. Bye. drama gardening the sordid nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle hot sauce addiction to TV and sweaty takes on celebrity culture and the weirdest grossest stuff you can find

on wikipedia.org we'll read all of it no matter how gross there's something for everyone on our podcast baby geniuses hosted by us two horny adult idiots hang out with us as we try and fail to retain any knowledge at all. Every other week on Maximum Fun.

A man was walking along a beach which represented his life. At his feet were two sets of footprints, his and God's. But looking back down the beach, the man could see that in the hardest parts of his life, there was only one set of footprints. So the man said to God, Why is there only one set of footprints when times were hard? Where were you? And God replied,

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