Mission To Zyxx - L13: Past Times at Ranguu High [LIVE ft. Ify Nwadiwe]

Episode Date: February 9, 2023

Just moments after agreeing to rule the galaxy, the crew is sent on … One. More. Mission. Pleck reunites with an old enemy. Bargie sells NFJs. C-53 meets his son?! Recorded LIVE at Sketchfest 2023 in San Francisco.Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterSeth Lind as Nermut BundaloyWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie and Justin BallweheatWith special guest Ify Nwadiwe as Benedict JudasLive sound design and mix by Shane O’ConnellRecorded by Shawn DoyleEdited by Seth LindTheme Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraAdditional music by  Shane O’ConnellShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric GeuszAudio hosting by SimplecastA big thank you to everyone at SF Sketchfest for having us!Mission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network.

How's everybody doing? Yeah! Happy Sketch Fest! I want to introduce our crew here, and then we'll get started, right? Okay. Coming up before me is our, not one one but two sound rods tonight we have shane o'connell master sound designer on mission to zix we have sean doyle helping out tonight as well let's get the crew out here i'm alden ford i play plec decksetter on the show. Hello. Next up is C-53 Protocol Droid, Jeremy Bitts.

Next up, Ship of the Stars, Dreamer of the Land, it's the Bargerian, Jane Mujadzal-Fagari. Reclusive singer-songwriter, Berman Nundeloy, Seth Lynn! Super Soldier AJ2884 has recently gone ultra after drinking his father, Whitson Knoll! Alright, alright. And we're very excited All right, all right.

And we're very excited to welcome our special guest tonight. We're big fans. Please welcome out Ify Wadiwik! Ali Kokesh cannot be here with us, but she's thinking about us. She's here in spirit. We will pass along your love to her. Yes. So, well, first of all,

you should know our show is over. Not this show, not this show. Don't leave show don't leave don't leave we are going to set this show after the events of the season five series finale and since this is a brand new episode we're in a completely new world here we don't have a crawl from Jeremy Crutchley So I am going to provide a little recap During the crawl music And then we'll get started

You guys ready to start the show? Alright Shane, whenever you're ready Mission is X is an improvised science fiction podcast Following the mission adventures of an intrepid crew Whew. sentient starship the Bargerian Jade, angsty teenager Justin Ballweed, and Beano, a magical bean with nipples who turns out to be the all-knowing caretaker of the galaxy. It's like a workplace comedy in space. In Season 1, the crew were ambassadors for the Galactic Alliance.

In Season 2, they defected and fought against the Federated Alliance. In Season 3, they were hunted by, but ultimately victorious, against the evil Emperor of the Galaxy. And in the series finale, Plex fulfilled his ancient prophecy, defeating the evil wizard Korbeil and restoring balance to the galaxy, after which the crew decided to leave the galaxy, and in the series finale Plex fulfilled his ancient prophecy defeating the evil wizard Korbeil and restoring balance to the galaxy, after which the crew decided to leave the galaxy themselves

and that's all you need to know about Mission to Zix! I guess I'd prefer not to have a mustache. Oh, a mustache? I don't mind if I do. That one sounds sweet. You know, guys, I gotta say, I love Shaving Elves as much as the next guy, but I feel like we kind of just made a pretty big decision

to leave the galaxy. Maybe we should just... Maybe we should just... We'd come back to it. No, come on, AJ. What? No, we'll watch Shaving Elves later. Also, wow, what? Spoiler alert. What?

Yeah, those elves get shaved? That's a plot of the... That's a premise of the show. Of Shaving Elves? Yeah. I mean, it's the title of the show. But you're sort of left wondering during each episode,

is this the one where they won't shave? I'm also like, now that I think about it, it's maybe like the journey. It's less important if the elves get shaved or not. It's so much about like, why are they getting shaved, you know?

Right. So wait, we're running the galaxy now? We're going to. I don't know. I mean, we just decided. All right. Yeah. All right, good. Okay. AJ, AJ, AJ I mean, we just decided. Alright! Yeah. Alright, good.

Okay, AJ, AJ, AJ. Stop, stop, stop. Careful, careful, AJ. What do we want to do? Yeah, I mean, well, I think the first thing we have to do is we kind of have to... Edicts. What? What? We need to make edicts. Where did you... AJ, where did you learn that word?

What? He's reading his hand. We make edicts and bylaws. Okay. Wow. You've been stealing our butt proud of you.

Listen, you know people are like once you get into power, you become the leader of the universe or whatever they say. It changes you. I don't think it's changed me. I think I'm the same Baji I never was. Yeah. Which is why I'm pulling together all the crew we have

and investing in NFJUKS. No. No. No. Baji. What's an NFJUK? It's a non-fungible JUK. Okay.

I'm sold. Let's do it. How much crude are we talking here? I don't know a lot about it. I feel like I'm pretty confident you should not do that. AJ, if you're understanding, this is just what you were just told. You absolutely should not do this. But if somebody powerful is telling me, shouldn't I do it?

No. No, I don't think so. He's really brave to obey. All right. Well, listen, I mean, I don't know. Maybe we should leave this up to Nermin, but I sort of feel like we should sit around and talk. Nermin, are you calling us from inside the ship? Yeah, well, I just miss the old days of calling in,

so now I'm in calling. You're right here. I know, but... We're not doing missions. We're done with that shit. No, AJ. AJ. What?

Shit. I mean, AJ's right, though. No, no, no. Okay, don't... He's inside of me. You're inside of me. No, I turned on the Missionator and I found, like, one last mission just rattling around in there.

But, no. Nermin. Why'd you even turn on the missionator? We're done. Nermin, we're... We're done with that shit. I mean, AJ's right. Nermin, we're not doing missions anymore.

We're powerful. We're just going to be telling people to buy... You don't know what... Jungle ball? Jump? Also, dodge is left. We're just going to be telling people to buy an NS. You don't know what jungle mode just... Also, Dar just left. Yeah, where is Dar? Yeah.

Oh. Oh, that's what Dar's doing. Okay. They're making out with evil Dar. Yeah, you can just make him out on the cloud over there. Got me? Good for them?

Yeah, I'm happy for him. I mean, hey, Dar's done with missions and shit, you know? I mean, yeah, Dar gets it, honestly. Did you guys miss the fact that there's literally a mission in the Missionator? Who cares? What?

Nervous. We call the shots now. We get to say whether we go on mission. The computer doesn't tell us. Nervin, take the mission off the mission. Also, Justin, I'm also here. Okay, yeah, Justin. Okay. Justin, we know.

We know. Thank you, Justin. Wait. Okay, we're going to pull it up, and we've got it here. Oh. It's in sort of a digital envelope. I swore to myself I would never say these words ever again. What's the mission, Nermit?

Music to my tiny ears. What, you have ears? They're kind of holes. I mean, they're not, you know. It's a generous turn. Yeah. Well, this is, oh, goodness, an invitation to Plek Deck Setter. Okay.

Wait, the mission is an invitation to me? Yeah. And it says, you are cordially invited to your 10-year reunion on Ranga 6. No. No. Yep. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.

First of all, first of all. No. Yep. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. But you have to change my mind. First of all, first of all. I'm 100% on board for this mission. No. What? Yeah. It sounds like it's going to roll. Let's do this.

No. First of all, first of all, it's not a mission. Secondly, I'm not going. We're not doing missions anymore. We're doing reunions. No. Yeah. Right.

Hey, Plek, at least you, like, literally went to high school. Oh. Right. Like, I didn't get any of the high school parents. Right. Hey, Plek, at least you, like, literally went to high school. Oh, right. Like, I didn't get any of that experience. Sorry, you didn't what? I didn't get any of that experience. I was homeschool. What?

I didn't get it either. Yeah, I still get it. I said I went to homeschool. We're at homeschool. Homeschool. Oh. Inside the- My parents are dead! Yes!

Yes! Sorry, Justin. I guess I kind of went to school. Oh. Inside the... My parents are dead! Yes. Yes. All right, Justin. I guess I kind of went to school. I watched propaganda for like hours. Honestly, depending on the high school. Yeah, pretty similar. The RSVP option is only yes, so I don't know. Delete the email.

Let's do it. No, listen, guys, guys, listen. I don't want to get into that, but, like, I didn't have a great experience in high school, okay? Oh, wow, surprise. Oh, really? Wait, no, really?

You didn't have one? But you're, like... Say it. Say it. You know, you're great. Aw. That's very charitable. Thanks.

Thanks, AJ. Wait, what's high school and yes let's do it that sounds great you know you've described rank of six but in person it's... Yeah, a lot of farms, right? I was going to say even worse, but yeah, a lot of farms. Oh, yeah.

That's not great. Yeah. It's just one of those planets that everyone's like... I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a flyby. Yeah, it's sort of a flyover planet. Yeah. Yeah, flyover planet. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a flyby. Yeah.

Is it real? Sort of a flyover planet. Yeah. Yeah. Flyover planet. Yeah. Hey, crew. I found some really weird-looking ships in the field, so I'm going to go hang out with them.

Oh. Okay. All right. You sure, Bart? Yeah. Okay. They're pretty rusty and... Okay.

Okay. So... What? Is it going to be a problem that you're bringing an extra people to your meeting? No, I need this, C-53. I need to be able to say here's my best friend, one of the smartest robots in the world. Oh.

It's very nice. Yikes. I'm just saying my name out loud. Best friend is a category. It's not a position. Remember what the mission is. Kick ass and sell NFJs.

Also get a high school education. Oh, Justin. They don't teach anything at the reunion. Wait. They're shocked off. Yeah. They're shocked off. It's just Former students of the high school

Come back to sort of reminisce about their time At the high school Okay that one I lost that one Hi hi welcome to Rangoose Thank you What are your names Who are you?

Thank you. It's Plek Dexeter, class of 3E. Plek girl? Yeah, it's me. It's me. It's Plek. You look the same, but sadder. I mean, it's only been 10 years.

It hasn't been... What have 10 years has been, though? Am I right? I guess so. I'm only seven. Well, here's your name tag. Thank you. And I didn't know you were bringing plus four, but you can.

Great. Cool. Thank you. Wow, thank you. Thank you guys. Not many people came, so you kind of need the bodies. Oh, great. But Tooney Tine is in there. Wow, thank you very much. Yeah. Not many people came, so you kind of need the bodies. Oh, great. But Toony Town is in there.

Yeforn is in there. Marisha's in there. I don't know any of these people. I don't remember any of these people. Caroline the Soup is in there. Caroline the Soup? Sounds interesting. How big was your high school?

Baron Baron is in there. Also, your enemy is in there. What? Twist. Click. Did you have a high school nemesis? I mean, I wouldn't say nemesis. This is the mission.

We take out the nemesis. No, AJ. We don't need to do that. We don't even see it coming. Listen, listen. You know. AJ. It's ranked at six. I feel like I'm pretty much allowed. Yeah, Jake. It's ranked at six.

I feel like I'm pretty much allowed. Yeah, yeah. It's an open carry planet. It's an open carry planet. It's far right. Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right. Yeah.

Plek, Plek, who's that guy over there with people kind of just looking up at him adoringly? Oh, my rod. That's Benedict. Well, well, well. Hey. Hey, man. How you doing, Plek? I didn't expect to see your face around here any time soon. Oh, well, you know,

just got the invite and felt like I really wanted to come to this and be here with you guys and you. No, you were so reluctant. Oh. You really didn't come to this and be here with you guys and you. You were so reluctant. You really didn't want to go? Is this the guy we're supposed to kill? No, guys.

Find some punch or something, please. Oh, there's a punch? Probably. I'm going to go make sure he takes a reasonable portion of the punch. Yeah, thank you. And I'm going to get a high school education. They don't teach anything here. All the kids are on break.

Okay, all right. Hey, hey, hey. Before we even get any further into tonight, I just want to say, things are cool between us, Blake. Everything's under the bridge. You can trust me. Okay. No harm will come to you.

Wow. In this building. Okay, all right. No matter what. Listen, Benedict. You can trust me. Okay. Let down your guard.

All right. Listen, Benedict. I just feel like I should probably say sort of two things first great I totally am glad to hear you say that secondly I sort of feel like we gotta both say

I feel like what water is under your bridge cause I feel like last time we hung out it was rough I said I was gonna kill you if I ever saw your face again. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. You know, I've thought on things.

I went to therapy, and I started working on my inner child, and I was like, the old BJ has to die so that a new BJ can live. Oh. So new BJ. Yeah, all the threats that I've ever said to you, just consider that not even real. Okay. I'm only here to love. Uh-huh.

Yeah. So just accept this BJ, okay? I'll try. Thank you. All right. So you want to introduce me to your cool friends? Yeah. C-53, this is Benedict Judas.

He's a friend of mine from high school. Good to meet you, Benedict. Yes, yes, yes. You know, me and him go way back. Clearly. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, there's a whole new Benedict Judas here. You know, I'm just here to make sure you all have a good time.

Benedict was the class president. So you're sort of responsible for this whole shindig. Yeah, yeah, you know, I was real excited to throw it. You know, some would say I'm popular. I was voted. Yeah, home world coming king? Yeah, voted most likely to rule the galaxy. Funny story.

I don't want to really brag, but actually, like yesterday, I sort of saved the galaxy. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was a prophecy. It was sort of like an ancient prophecy and everything

kind of came together and I... The fabric of reality is sort of here because of the stuff that I and all of us did. Like yesterday. Wow, I'm so happy for you. And did you hear Tina runs her own farm now, too? Oh, wow!

I'm glad everyone in here is just leveling up. Everybody's nailing it. Does she grow things or does she raise it? Yeah, she got purple milk. She got a big purple milk business. That's pretty cool. I'm AJ,

by the way, and I trust you. AJ. Thank you so much. AJ, by the way, and I trust you. AJ. Thank you so much. AJ, I've never... How are you carrying that many cups of punch? Well, you know,

got two hands and giant forearms and just bouncing. Yeah, he's bouncing on your forearms. Yeah, does anyone want punch? Well, hold on. I actually got a drink for Plek. Just for you. Not one of these 12 glasses of

power. No, no. It's some of Tina's purple milk that I wanted you to try personally. Okay. Yeah, yeah. No one else except Plek. I'd love you to drink this. Thank you. Yeah. Wow. I'd love you to drink this. Thank you.

Yeah. Wow, I guess I'll just drink this in front of everybody. Yeah, feel free. You're acting like Benedict Judas might sell you out somewhere. Don't be weird. Just drink the purple one. Yeah, don't be weird, Papa. Does it taste like poison?

Tastes great. It's really purple. Tina brought some in and I wanted to save some just for you. That's so impressive. It's very cool. Papa, why are you being so weird about it? BJ, great

to see you. I'm going to circle around and see who else is here. Do your thing. I'm going to go talk to the soup. She's real rich now. Oh, wow. Cool. Okay. Devin. Devin, is that you?

Oh, no, I'm not. Devin, it's me, Baron Baron. Hey, Baron Baron. I'm not. I'm not Devin. I didn't go to this high school. I haven't stopped thinking about you since high school. That's extremely flattering.

Every single day of my life, I have been thinking about you. I just want to clarify, I am a robot. I didn't go to this, I think, largely Tellurian high school. Entirely Tellurian. Thank you, Greg. So I'm not whoever you thought

Devin is or was. I'm not. Devin, you're everything to me. Wow. It's got so intense. Devin, you're everything to me Wow Devin, this is your son Oh my Dad? No, no

Is this why I love video games so much? Sort of vaguely robotist Papa, hey Papa, what's going on? Listen, AJ, the reason I didn't want to come here Was because I had a terrible high school experience. Benedict was, like, my bully. He went out of his way every day to make my life hell. What's a bully?

What's a bully? Yeah. What's a bully? Did you ever have a clone that was, like, more of a dick than the other clones? My commander? And I trusted with my life? Yeah commander? That I trusted with my life?

Yeah, I guess I did. Yeah. Yeah. So you did what Benedict told you and everything worked out? No. No. Well, that's kind of on you.

How? Listen, I wasn't cool. Nobody liked me. Benedict was always acting like, hey, you could be part of the cool crowd. And so he'd make me do these things. I'd get in trouble for them. He'd sell me out in front of the whole school.

It was terrible. Benedict Judas that we just met? Yes. He doesn't seem untrustworthy to you? He just gave you a glass of milk. Everybody, Benedict Judas is going to lead us in a motivational speech for the entire school.

Yay! Benedict! BJ! BJ! BJ! A motivational speech. Is this normally what happens at the... No, I don't think this is what happens. Pretty unconventional, but I'm excited. Look, everyone, I just wanted to say how happy I am to see all of y'all here today in this gymnasium.

It's been a whole ten years since we walked across that stage. It has! Set off to try and achieve our dreams. And I gotta say, you know, I'm real proud of all y'all. We've all been doing big things. I hear Plek, he's one of the leaders of the galaxy. Tina has her own farm. All right, all right. All right.

Maybe y'all didn't hear me. I said Pledg is now a leader of the galaxy, along with Tina, who now has her own farm. Okay, alright. But yeah, I just want y'all to all have a good time out here. Let your guard down. Let's let all, like, bury

all the hatchets. Turn a blind eye to anyone you might have been afraid of in high school, because you never know that person might be different. Have a good night, everybody. I'm gonna go eat. Eat.

Plek, can I just say I'm so glad this isn't like our other missions where there's some devious person we have to sort of like conquer. Nermit! You too, Nermit? Well, Plek, I mean, did she, he was really trying to build on public support for you. Yeah, you guys could have applauded.

It just seemed like it was so quiet, it would have been awkward. We already knew. We already knew. Okay, it was so quiet, it would have been awkward if you had applauded? Also, Benedict told me he's going to help me get my GED. Your what? My job.

One more time. What is that? My job. Are you saying GED? Yeah. Hey, Black. Do you mind? I'm going to take Justin into one of these classrooms. I'm going to run him through. I'm going to get him his GED. Get, yeah, hey. Hey, do you mind? I'm going to take Justin into one of these classrooms.

I'm going to run him through. I'm going to get him his GED. Get him up and running. But also, for you, I got this present. It's nice and wrapped up. Don't open it until you leave the planet. He has a little dick sound, too. Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks, Benedict. Yeah, no problems. Look, you can trust me now. Thank. Thanks, Benedict. Yeah, no problems. Look, you can trust me now. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, Papa, did you give him anything? It's all... It's not like I was expecting anything. Great. Yeah, you know...

Oh, boy. No, no, no. You don't have to You know, you can have this eye patch. I don't need it anymore because my eye is cybernetic now. Oh, that's cool. Okay. That's nice.

Yeah. And I got you a great gift for someone with two working eyes. I didn't bring a lot of stuff. Don't do anything then. Give him an eye patch? It's just what was in my pocket. It's very obvious was in my pocket. Hey, it's fine. I'm going to cherish this eye patch because this isn't just an eye patch.

This is an eye patch from Plank. Wow, that's a great idea. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks. I'm going to go teach Justin. I'm going to look in the mirror and be like, you know things, you know? Oh, you're still carrying the mirror.

Yeah, I have the broken mirror with me. Oh, wow. And BJ got you like a watch or a clock or something nice like that. It's way too heavy to be a watch. It's a big clock. Yeah. It's a big clock. It's almost maybe too heavy to be a clock.

It's just a dense clock. Maybe. Listen, guys, I don't feel like I want to be here anymore. You guys have a cup of... No, Plek, Plek, you you're like a leader of the galaxy. You fulfilled your destiny. You swung that wood saber so good. Show off

a little bit. You're the leader of the galaxy. You defeated Kor Belvor. But C-53, you know, I don't know if robots do this. They don't. I guess being back here on Rangus 6, I just feel like I fall into all this. I feel so uncool being at this high school again. You're asking if when I return to the manufacturing plant that I was in. I don't know.

I don't know. Whether I'd fall into the same behavioral patterns I did when I was being built. Think before you ask a question. Hey, everybody! It's time for where we do that thing we do at every reunion where we ask anyone to come up and show how cool they are now. Strange.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You can also tell someone else they have to. Oh, great. Plek, get over here. You have to. Hey, everybody. Plek Dexter, class of 3E.

Yeah, well, you know, you may not remember much about me, but I was in the marching band. I was the only pianist in the marching band. What? I was the Zyball manager for the Zyball team for three years. Really helpful.

Was that burned down? Yeah, the Zyball team burned down, but that was That was, again, not my... I had run out of water, but it wasn't... That wasn't... That wouldn't have helped. Wait, so the team... Wait, somebody...

Did the team burn alive? Or what happened? It was... Was that the Junk My Nuts guy? Who said it couldn't have hurt? Hey, everyone. Everyone, let Plec speak, okay? This is my buddy, Plec.

Thank you. And even though my father died in that fire, Plec did nothing to save my father. I watched my father scream as he burned. I watched my dad's face melt off. And that's when I told Plec I would never forgive him and I'd kill him the next time I saw him, but I healed my inner child.

And even though every night I go to sleep I hear the screams of my father in my head, I know it's not his fault. Sure, we asked him two weeks before to refill the water bucket and that was

just enough water to put out one dad on fire. But damn it, Plek tried his best. So go ahead, Plek, tell us what you did. Yeah, prove that you're cool now. We're going to take a 10-minute intermission. We'll see you in a minute. Thank you.

You left a pretty crucial component out of your rivalry with Benedict. Did you burn his dad alive? That's pretty true. That's not what happened, okay? It's more complicated than that. All right, well, let's get into it. Do you have an edict? Benedict was always pressuring me into doing stuff for him.

He was always making me take the fall for stuff. He was smoking a cigarillo underneath the Zyball bleachers. Sure. And when the coach came around the corner, he handed it to me and made it look like I was the one doing it. I threw it out, and it started a fire that burned the whole Zyball stadium down, okay? Why didn't you throw the cigarillo into the water? I was 16. Hey, everybody.

It's that time in a high school reunion that we always do where anyone can come up and apologize for something they did. Wow. I've never been to one of these before. There's a lot of interesting reunion conditions. Pretty cool. Why is AJ going up? Hey, everybody. I mean, I'm going to be one of the leaders of the galaxy.

I mean, a lot of times I was doing stuff under orders, but now that I'm thinking about it, it was probably not great. I didn't go to high school here, but sometimes we had to subdue a planet. And I think we did a little... Okay. You're not going to get an amnesty for a genocide. Hey, everybody, it's me, Petricha. I just want to apologize for what I did.

And you all know what I did. And you all know what I did. Black, what did she do? I don't know, but she was the only 75-year-old in our class. Hey, I just thought I'd hop on here and throw an apology out. You have nothing to apologize for, man. You're wrong! I hate you. apologize for, man.

You're wrong. H-Pain. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! things that I wanted them to do and sometimes you know place the consequences on them and Plek you know even though my father died by your hands it could have been anyone it could have been anyone anyone could have killed my dad it wasn't just you so I apologize So I apologize. For a second it sounded like he was saying you could have killed anyone. But he meant it the other way. Hey everybody, PlekDexer, class of 3E. Go Plek! Go Papa!

I guess I should apologize. I'd like to apologize to all of you and to Benedict, Judas, and to myself, to my high school self. I'd like to apologize to 16-year-old Plek Deck Center.

For what? Okay, sir. Stop beating around the bush! I'd like to apologize to myself for not standing up for myself. For not doing the right thing. What? For letting other people push me around and tell me what to do. And for not standing up in front of everyone that day

while the stadium was burning down and saying, this was not my fault, this was not my cigarillo. But it was my, I was part of it, I was complicit. Because I was trying to be cool. I kind of get why we haven't come back to Ranga 6 before. You know, it seems obvious. I am Plec Daniel Eugene Dexeter Class of 3E

and I'm sorry. Devin? Oh my god. Devin, is that you? Listen, I don't know who you think I am, but I... My heart beats for you every day, Devin.

Okay, what is your name? Shifarn. Sherfarn? I'm going to... This might upset you, but I want to make it very clear. I'm going to remove my faceplate and show the robotic insides. I am not a student here, nor was I ever. Who did that to you?

Who did that to you? Who did that to you? Oh my god. Listen, this is a case of mistaken identity going very far in a particular direction. Mom, Dad, we found him! What? What?

Is this Devin's mom and dad? Yes. Okay, listen. Oh, my God. Devin. No, no. Can I see a picture of Devin? Because I am so confused right now.

You're in my locket. It's clearly a Tellurian teenager. I don't know where Devin is, but why do you think i look like because we use one of those systems that tell you how someone's gonna look like when they age and yes it was a very cheap one okay yo yo everybody everybody listen up uh hopping on the mic uh i got some good news and we've've all been, for the past 10 years, mourning the disappearance of Devin. But I gotta say, I just got word that Devin's back. Devin is back. Yes. Hello, everyone.

It's me, Devin, 10 years later. You know what? I'd like to apologize to the class here for having disappeared for 10 years. Pretty jumped up that I didn't. Where did you go? Excellent question. Devin, look, let's cut to the chase. You're back.

I know what's going to bring the school spirit back. You remember the homeschool rap you did? Yep. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's do the homeschool rap and get everyone, you know, get filled with that school spirit. If there's anything I love, it's freestyle rap. Okay.

Well. Son, look at your father's face during this. This is a true daddy. Here we go. Remind me of the name of this high school one more time. Rangoo High. Rangoo High, of course. Of course.

So my famous homeroom rap that I would do a lot. Sing along if you know it. Hey, all the students of Rangoo High, we're standing here watching the years go by. Can't get enough of all my

classmates. Everyone here, you're first rate. Let's have fun and dance the night away. I'm divot, but I'm not here to stay. Goodbye, everyone. He's back. He's back. That was it. One for one. That was it.

He did it. That was pretty good, C-53. That was terrible. You know, do you believe me now that high school sucked? Oh, look. Nobody has a good time in high school. Really? I mean, I've parsed a lot of Tellurian media about the years of high school,

and almost universally it sounds like a negative experience. I'm sort of not sure why they do it. I mean, if you didn't go to high school, you'd be like Justin. Yeah, you'd be an idiot. Yeah. I wonder how his tutoring's going to get his JAD. So yeah, that's

why Y equals MX plus. No way! Yeah. I love being educated! You know, I got you. So we don't spice things up. We're going to talk about calculus. Wow. Yeah.

I'm just going to bounce around all the maths. Wow. Yeah. Hey, Benedict, I just want to say it meant a lot to me what you said. I just want to say it meant a lot to me what you said. I think about that all the time. Hey, everyone. It's that time of the high school reunion. How many events are they packing in?

We've been here for like 25 minutes. It's completely part of our tradition where you do a cheek-to-cheek dance with the person you once had a feud with. Everybody! I'm going to need you to give me that cheek. I'm going to need you to give me that cheek. Put that cheek on my cheek right now. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.

It tickles when you talk that close to my ear. So what were you going to say? It's weird that they turn the music off for this part. Yeah, yeah, I know, but, you know. Wow, look at them. They're just kind of like slowly pacing back and forth, cheek to cheek, talking. That's more than nobody else has told you.

Yes. Empty people talk.. Everybody stop talking. I guess there's not as many people with long standing nudes. It seemed like a high school where everyone pretty much got along except for these two. Yeah.

So yeah. You know, Benedict, I... You can tell me it's safe. Benedict, I... I spent my entire high school feeling like a loser. And then the last year of high school feeling like a murderer.

And that was because of how you treated me. It's because of what you did. Stop beating around the bush! I just... I just... I just... I guess I sort of became who I am because of that

four years of my life. It was really hard. And before that fire, all you ever talked about was how much you hated your dad. Yeah, yeah, no, he sucked, but you know. You told me you wanted to kill him all the time. Yeah, all the time.

And then when I saw him in flames, I was like, damn, I think I spoke too soon. Like now that he's on fire, you know, it's kind of like that thing where it's like, you want what you can't have. And I was like, yeah, he was a bad stepdad. He was mean to me all the time, but when he's on fire, I was like, damn. Stepdad. You know, Benedict, I got to say, I didn't want to come here. I had a miserable time. And when it's all over, I'm going to be relieved.

But I'm glad we got a chance to talk. Yeah, me too. Here's the real thing. You know, that Sigurolo incident, sure, you shouldn't have been there. Sure.

You had homework to do. Sure. I asked you to come under those bleachers. Sure. You had homework to do. Sure. I asked you to come under those bleachers. Sure. I blamed you for it. Sure. We shouldn't have been there because we had, you know, stop beating around the bush. I gotta say, the biggest growth that I've had was realizing that maybe it was me who killed my shitty stepdad. Maybe it was you? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Ooh, maybe. Like a tiny bit maybe. And, you know, I put my inner child on trial for that.

And he's awaiting judgment. So I'm free from the consequences of whatever that was. Is that how it works? Sounds good to me. Thank you. Hey, Bargy, how are those other ships on Rangus? Oh, no. So good? Oh, no. You didn't have fun?

I got them into the NFJuck game. Oh, no. And let's just say it's gone real bad. For them or for you? Oh, no. But everything you said, it seemed airtight.

Hey, everybody, I have some really good news. Oh, what's that, Justin? I have my journey. You got your GED? Wow. All right. Right here in my hands. Literally ask me any question right now.

Like, right now. Like, ask it. Ask it right now. Like, do it right now. What's the capital of Marufka? Schofriger. Whoa. Whoa.

Cool. Wow. Benedict's a really good teacher. Hey, can you take a talk talk of this? Oh, okay. Seven reasons that show you got your GED. Number one, I look awesome. Number two, I got those deep V's now.

Is that part of it? It really does. Somehow it is part of it. It really is. Number three, Zalky, never call me. Number four. Not possible. Look what Asia can do.

No. Okay. Stop. Stop. Stop doing. Stop doing. Oh. No.

And that's all. That's less than seven. Four of seven, yeah? Wait, Black, you never opened your gift from Benedict. I can't do that. He said specifically to open it when you left. Bino, what? Bino.

Bino. Bino. what? Bino! Bino! Bino! What? What? Whoa. That? What is that? That's Bino.

You've seen Bino before. Oh, it's disgusting. Bino, what? Presents? Bino, want to open it? No, Bino, we can't. We can't open the present. I think after everything we open it. No, Bino, we can't open the present. I think after everything we've gone through, especially Bino,

Bino deserves to open this gift that currently is making a very dangerous sound. No, Bino, don't open the present. I think it's a... Bino will. No, no, Bino. No, don't open that present. He farted it open. It's a clock.

Yeah, it's like a geode clock. Yeah, it's a really, really heavy clock. It's dense. So this bean is... for everyone in school with this thing? Not really. Beano loves it! Beano loves geode clocks! Oh, hey, look, there's a little video chip in here. Not really. We don't love it. We don't love Geoclocks.

Hey, look, there's a little video chip in here. Let's plug it in. Press play. Hey, what's up? If you're watching this, that means you opened up my gift. Yeah, it's a Geoclock. A rock clock.

Because you rock. Now, I know there's a lot of history, and no one can really put a finger on who actually killed my stepdad. The more we think about it, the harder it gets, and we should just breeze right by it and never try and point fingers. But if it were you or me, let's move past it and have a future of friendship. Good night.

We don't love catharsis. Wait, breaking news, his inner child got a hundred years. Ah! This is K-Rid ITC. Credits and protocol. Credits and attribution strike. Commencing outro protocol.

Blackjack Center was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by J-J-J-Jeremy Byrne. DAR was not played by Ali-J-J-Jeremy Byrne. Dar was not played by Allie Kokash. Margie the Ship, Justin Ballweed, and Devin's ex were played by Mujan Zolfagari. Nervin Bundeloy and Devin's son were played by Seth Lynn. AJ and Pino were played by Winston Knoll. Benedict Judas was played by special guest Ify Wadiwai.

This episode was recorded live at San Francisco Sketch Fest, 20th year in San Francisco. This episode will be edited by Seth Lind with sound design, mix, and original music by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Britton Ryan performed by famous Macedonian symphonic orchestra

with mixing by Danny Keith Taylor. Synthesizer by Jerry and Jay by Eric Goyce. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Thank you for going to the show!