Mission To Zyxx - You've Got Chainmail!

Episode Date: December 25, 2020

The Fellowship of the Legume reunites to celebrate a winter holiday, when they are suddenly interrupted by a messenger.Starring:Jeremy Bent as QuarielAllie Kokesh as DwaynneSeth Lind as GigliWinston N...oel as SamesiesMoujan Zolfaghari as Booketand Alden Ford as Thagamos and PetraEdited by Seth LindSound design and mix by Shane O’Connell Theme Music composed by Brendan RyanPerformed by Ophira Zakai on Lute, Peneli Millar on flute and Cynthia Ann Sutton on recorderAdditional music by Shane O’ConnellAudio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network. Thank you to our MaxFun supporters for making these off-season releases possible!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Friends, I reach out to you during the coldest of months to invite you to the church so that we may celebrate the most hallowed day on our calendar. The lighting of the sun. The anniversary of the very day that Rodos himself lit the sun. By the glorious grace of Rodos, the darkness shall be dispelled, and the days shall once again grow longer. I would have you with me at my side, friends, as I celebrate this most glorious day. Signed, Quarion, Paladin of Rhodos the Sun Knight. Happy birthday, friend. Ah, greeting, Quirrell. Dwayne Newark Johnson, it is good to see you, but it is not my birthday.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Oh, it's a birthday tune that you request? No, no, no, no, no, Santa's no. For your birthday, I'll let you have any wish you want. Any wish. No, it seems to be some confusion here. It is not my birthday. But you sent us all an invitation. I did send you an invitation, but it is an invitation to my ceremony for the lighting of the sun
Starting point is 00:01:32 invoking my great lord, Rodos. I'm sorry, wait. Are you not Rodos? No, Dwayne. No. Dwayne, I'm quarreling. It is still pretty dark out. When does it, you know...
Starting point is 00:01:47 The ceremony has not yet begun. She at least suffered groin. Is there a merry tune that goes along with the day? Yes, actually, there is a most holy hymn that goes along with the lighting of the sun. Allow me to sing it for you now. The lighting of the sun. He came straight to our face.
Starting point is 00:02:10 He's very close to all of us. We put our trust in you, Rodos. Never thought I'd miss the same Zs. Jeez. Thank you. That's rough. Thank you. It's rough. Thank you. It's not really a danceable beat.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Oh, I'm very into it. There are 29 more verses. Oof. So it's like a song about your ex. No, he's not. Rodos is not a person. There are bosoms even higher than he would. You shall not
Starting point is 00:02:45 despoil the name of Rucutus Well, good party so far Yes, friends, I'm sorry I hope you don't mind I brought my roommate, Petra Ah, very well Was she invited, or what? No, what came anyway?
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yes, well I have made food for this event or what? No! What came anyway? Is it? Yes, well, I have made food for this event. Oh. Oh. I haven't had any meat today. Yes, these cakes
Starting point is 00:03:14 are meant to represent the first food grown with the light of the sun ignited by Rodos himself. As you can see, they are burned to a crisp. Oh.
Starting point is 00:03:25 The heat of the sun was extremely intense upon first lighting. You know what? I actually just ate. Will you not share a cake with me? Gigli, son of Groin. I'll have his. I'll eat it. If you just leave it in your mouth a little while, it eventually becomes soft
Starting point is 00:03:39 enough to bite. Here, Gigli, if you open your mouth, I'll just baby bird some of this rock-hard cake into your mouth. Here we go. Drop it in there. No. You will not shame these cakes in this way. But I was the baby bird.
Starting point is 00:03:56 So, bird cakes and hymns, that's what we're doing? Yes, it is a glorious celebration of Rhodos the Sunlighter. While you attempt to eat your cakes, allow me to draw your attention to this pine tree covered in decorative items. Oh, it's lovely. It smells so good. I love the tinsel.
Starting point is 00:04:15 It's very fragrant to the nose. This represents the rude, untamed nature that Rhodos was to correct. Oh, he's putting a torch to it. Yes. Ignite, Rodos. Wow, that confired very fast. Look at those little ornaments burn.
Starting point is 00:04:35 We do give thanks to you, Rodos the Sunlighter. The wickedness of the world is burned away in your perfect light. Now that the tree is ablaze, for each of you, a stout boot filled with treats, candies, small gifts. Well, thank you, Quario.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Cast them away. Cast them into the flame. Reject the temptations of the world. The candies look so good. Yes, they are meant to. They are most likely delicious, but cast them into the fire. Allow Rodos to clean you of the sin. You put so much work into them.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Yes, I must. It is part of the ritual. You could have just not given us the candies. No, but the temptation must be there. All right. You must throw your boots into the fire. All right, all right. Do not be tempted by these caramels.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Oh, they're caramel? Croc me. What? Heroes, heroes, please. Traveler, you profaned this shrine to Rodos by letting in this darkness. Hear me. You are the only ones who can help me. I seek the fellowship of the legume. Well, friend, then you have found them. What business have you with the Fellowship?
Starting point is 00:05:46 We're them. Them is us. We are the Lagumis. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing Lagumis. We're not the Lagumis? Only the Lagumis can help me, for I have this bag of messages for thee. With fan mail?
Starting point is 00:06:06 I, Thagomor, said all of my kind travel from settlement to settlement, bearing written messages. And not only am I charged with delivering them, but I, I shall be the one to read them. You made it seem like it was a big
Starting point is 00:06:22 problem when you came in, but it just seems like you're going to read mail. Yes, Stegomus, you seem terrified. I am! I am! This is my first job! Does anything in the rules of the Day of Rhodos mean that we cannot open and read mail? Yes, well, actually, um... What a fun game! Let's just do it!
Starting point is 00:06:40 It's something other than cakes and hymns, am I right? This can't rightly be called cakes. I suppose it's all right. It's something other than cakes and hymns. Am I right? These can't rightly be called cakes. I suppose it's all right. It'll be fun. Right. Weary Traveler, please, entertain us with your first question. Ah, thank you, kind bard. I have the first letter here.
Starting point is 00:06:58 This one is for Samesies. Ah, well, that is actually me, myself, and I. Oh. One in the same Zs. Very well. Same Zs. Pretty good, Dwayne. Pretty good. Dwayne, your wordplay has grown in leaps and bounds. Not
Starting point is 00:07:17 honestly. Not bad. No doubt the influence of Rhodos the Sunlighter on your mind Shannon asks of all the songs you've written which one is your favorite what a wonderful
Starting point is 00:07:36 first of all thank you for your question second of all oh it's like picking a child do we answer all of them or do we kind of like skip ones that are... We can skip the ones that are annoying. We can skip the ones... Oh, no, no, no, it's The Haystacks of Felwath Plain. That's my favorite, The Haystacks of Felwath Plain.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I am unfamiliar with this song. It deals with a maiden named Jane, and it's just very... It's some of the themes that I like to go into in my work. Right, let's continue on. Yes, the question has been answered. There is no need to stop. Very well. I have a question from Noel. Sagamos, you may approach the table.
Starting point is 00:08:17 You needn't cower in the corner like this. No, I must cower right near to the door. No, come closer to the altar. Enjoy the warmth of the light of Rhodos the corner like this. No, I must cower right near to the door. No, come closer to the altar. Enjoy the warmth of the light of Rhodos the Sunlighter. And please, have one of his cakes. Also, if you want, I can chew up the cake for you first and then spit it out. Oh, yeah, you're the baby bird. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:08:37 No, don't do that. That's disgusting. Never mind. I'm working on a spell to take away the bird pots. Book it, you shall not use your wicked magics on this cake of Rhodos. Undo the darkness, go away. Make the cake nice and grey. No, you've done it.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I mean, it doesn't look appetizing, though. Is a grey a poor colour for a baked good? And I have yet another question for you. Very well, Tagibos. I have yet another question for you. Very well, Zagabos. This one is by Lemons Today. Their question is... There's a bender of lemons? Lemons Today?
Starting point is 00:09:12 Who can say? Listen, I collect and deliver the letters, but I have no information from which they come. Surely you must remember who you collected the letter from. Nay, I say nay. That is why I then travel to any nearest township and scream my responses to the
Starting point is 00:09:32 masses, hoping to find someone who has written the letter. Ah, I see. So you do not remember who you have collected the message from. You just scream the answers and hope. No. Anonymity is built in. And we reply verbally? Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:09:48 So you are memorizing our answers and you will yell them. Yes, I shall travel to the nearest township, scream them at the top of my lungs, and then once someone is like, oh, that was me, I'm Lemons Today, I shall remove that from my speech at the next township,
Starting point is 00:10:03 knowing full well that Lemons today has received his reply. Oh, Petra fell asleep. She's awake. There is a real resting witch face. What's the question, dear messenger? Hi, Quario. Oh. What was the reason you took up the oath of becoming a paladin?
Starting point is 00:10:25 What was the reason you took up the oath of becoming a paladin? What was the reason? Oh, no. The reason was... Why are you waving your sword? Please, sir. Please, sir. Away your sword. The reason was I had a moment of clarity where I'd realized my entire life I'd been sitting in the blackest darkness and the only one who would
Starting point is 00:10:47 shed but a single ray of light on my hopeless condition was Rodos the Sunlighter. And at that moment I realized that if my life was not spent serving Rodos I would have wasted the very gift that Rodos himself granted me.
Starting point is 00:11:04 And I pledged that that would never happen. Sounds like rock bottom, Netno. Yeah, it wasn't. I was in a bad place. Our next question is from Michelle, who asks, Book it! What? What's your favorite spell that you've ever cast? Aside from turning yourself into a witch. And how did you meet your roommate Petra?
Starting point is 00:11:30 Oh, it's a two-part, isn't it? I'm going to start with number two. Well, Petra and I met in school, did we not? Roommate, did we? Well, we were roommates aside to each other on random. And we got a lot of coin. For example, Petra and I, we both like
Starting point is 00:11:47 to jog. Also, Petra, you tell a funny story about the day we met. Can you say it again? What day we met? What day we met? Go on. Yeah, uni.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Uni. My glass just shattered. We're coming for a day. What? We're doing a little job. I saw you. You, me. I was like, what? This Saturday, she offends the ears of runners.
Starting point is 00:12:18 And then, you know Larry? Oh, I hate Larry. Oh, Larry. And then we were roommates. And turns out, we were already one roommate. As for the first part of the question, my voice will get deeper as I give you a spell. You can use this one
Starting point is 00:12:37 to get anyone to fall in love with you for approximately five seconds. Itsy bitsy spider, open up your heart. Look at me in the eye and say you are who I am not. Look at, uh...
Starting point is 00:12:56 I don't know what's come over me, but I need to lay down my axe and tell you that you... Five seconds up. It's a fun spell, though, you know. Why am I kneeling? I need to lay down my axe and tell you that you... Five seconds up. Oh. It's a fun spell, though, you know. Why am I kneeling?
Starting point is 00:13:12 It is a long story, Julie. Sweet, merciful Roto-Syrah prayer. On this darkest day of the year, we ask that you bathe us in your majesty and bring your cleansing light into the world once more. Let your holy fire burn this decorated tree in these delicious confections, and we might live to glimpse summer's holy light and bask in your magnificence anew. This winter seems longer and colder than ever before. Aye, I've spent many a sleepless night dreading the evils the darkness brings. You know, just because you're grown up doesn't mean you've outgrown bedtime stories. What? I know that.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Whether you want a story to turn you on or wind you down for better sleep, Dipsy helps you get in touch with yourself for some extra sweet dreams. Who is Dipsy? Some sort of carnal dream deity? Hardly. Dipsy is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on. It is no sin. Rodos smiles upon those who practice self-care. Of course he does. Rodos'. It is no sin. Rodos smiles upon those who practice self-care. Of course he does. Rodos' sex positivity knows no equal. Plus, each Dipsy story features characters
Starting point is 00:14:32 that feel like real people and immersive scenarios, so you feel like you're right there. I love immersion. Me too. Oh, and Dipsy's new sleepovers feature popular Dipsy characters speaking directly to listeners to say goodnight and tuck them in. Bedtime stories feature the classic Dipsy storytelling, but less explicit, so they let your mind wander,
Starting point is 00:14:54 while soundscapes are focused on peaceful noises rather than story and character, like ocean waves or rain. Rain? But rain clouds block Rodus's merciful glow from us. Oh, okay, fine. You don't have to listen to the rain one. Think Rodus. And for fellow paladins like we, Dipsy is offering a 30-day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com slash six.
Starting point is 00:15:19 That's 30 nights of dark, wintry evil banished by horny audio, relaxing bedtime stories, and wellness sessions. And also the glory of Rodos as he lights the sun. That's a 30-day free trial when you go to D-I-P-S-E-A stories dot com slash six. Praise Rodos. Gypsy stories dot com slash six. I have another letter. Let us continue, Thagomus, if you must. This letter is from Potato Pete.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Before I read it, you should know this is not an anonymous letter. This is from the Potato Pete. He handed it to me in person. Obviously, we're all familiar with Potato Pete. He handed it to me in person. Obviously, we're all familiar with Potato Pete. Hail and well met, my dudes, he says. Hail and well met. A strange blight has befallen my southern lands. An awful
Starting point is 00:16:16 oozing affair. I am including a sketch on the back of this parchment to help illustrate what's going on down there. Ooh, can I see the picture? Absolutely. What is it? It appears to be a drawing of his penis. Yeah, but there's
Starting point is 00:16:36 something wrong with it. Anyway, does Booket the Witch have any sort of potus or spell that could help? Thank you, Potato Peep. You know what? I'm going to give this one to Samesies. Because the best way to get rid of a rash on your genitals is to give it a little song.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Ah, yes. Tried and true. For many years, I have sung songs to get rid of genital warts and any types of rash. Tis itchy down there, down there, down there. Tis itchy down there, down there. So don't itch it now, down there, down there. Don't itch it now, down there. Just put your hands on your head.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Do a little bitty jig and you won't have to itch your nethers. So just sing that over and over and I think it'll probably scab over in time. That's what the sailors tell me at least. I mean, how is that not the first answer of your favorite song? That's a good one. I like that
Starting point is 00:17:40 one a lot. Really, that's the song that I have written that you all like the most. Yeah, you can't help but dance to it. Hands down the best. It's not even a song. It's something that I jingle bells along with. It's a jingle.
Starting point is 00:17:54 That's what they've been calling it. It's just a jingle. It's catchy. No, but my other songs have things like love and passion in them. I like it because you remember it and I never remember any of the other ones. No, but this is just a song about not itching your penis. My other songs deal with more important
Starting point is 00:18:10 things. Don't, but don't, but don't. It's, you know, it's really good. I assume Thagamos, you must now sing this song back to Potato Pete. Yes, I'm still writing. Oh, boy. There's not a lot of room on the back of this parchment with all of the genital stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Sorry. So I had to write very small. Oh, so I don't get to keep the drawing? I'm afraid not. And you do not carry your own parchments, Thagomus. Where would I have room to do that, paladin? It's true. That is a tiny loincloth.
Starting point is 00:18:41 This is a... Yes. Yes, I wear but this tiny loincloth, which has room for one quill, of course, but the bag is full of letters for you... I'm sorry, do you want to hear another letter or what? Yes, yes, please. Okay, this is for Jiggly, son of Groin of Clan Benefit.
Starting point is 00:18:59 What is Jiggly's proudest notch in his axe? Oh, wow. Let's see. This one definitely was from slashing the spine of a... No, not that one, actually. Came with it. It was sort of pre-weathered. I wanted it to look cool even before I fought with it. This one was...
Starting point is 00:19:21 Distressed, yeah. Yes, distressed. This one is... Distressed, yeah. Yes, distressed. This one is definitely that. It was a sharpening accident. Oh, wait, this one is... That's just smooth. No, not a notch at all. That's not a notch at all.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Thagmus, I implore you, continue on to the next question. I have another question. Very good. This one is from Toruno824 can samesies give us a step by step of their songwriting process
Starting point is 00:19:52 ah well I'm so glad you hope I asked because you don't know what in the fellowship asks me anything like this mostly it's just they don't really ask me much at all they just say kind of like would you please stop that's a question that is true Because mostly it's just, they don't really ask me much at all. They just say kind of like, would you please stop? That's a question?
Starting point is 00:20:09 That is true. My process goes as follows. I brood. I sit with my lyre. Or my lute. Or a timbre. And I... So many instruments. Or even a jaw harp.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Or a recorder. Or a pan flute. Or one of those things that it's just, it's like the, it's a pole and it has a drum and if you put your hands and kind of spin it and twist it. A flute? It doesn't even know the name of it. No. Anyway, I sit with an instrument and I brood and I just write from my heart. I write what you know and I knowod and I just write from my heart. I write what you know.
Starting point is 00:20:45 And I know springtime. I know maidens. I know fiddly-da-dee-da. I'm usually circling that for a while and trying to kind of come at it from different angles. And, you know. Fiddly-da-dee-da from different angles? Yes. Well, I mean.
Starting point is 00:21:03 What's an alternate? Give me an alternate angle on fiddly-da. Fiddly-da. Fiddly-de-da from different angles? Yes, well, I mean... Give me an alternate angle on fiddle-de-da. Fiddle-de-da? Fid-dilly-da? It's all things like that. Why would you ask these questions, Thaddeus? You only prolong this nonsense. And then sometimes it's fiddle-de-da-de-da. You know, it's all that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:21:20 And it's usually in the drafting process. I'll go through... Give me this pot. Surely this is Samesy's handwriting. Look how flowery it is. Here's underlined the name Samesy's. For what purpose? Here is a question for Dwayne the Orc Johnson.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Oh, that's me. Strong start. This one is from Lemons Today. Yes, we are familiar with Lemons Today. Well, speak not thee too soon, for, again, this is an anonymous service. This could be anyone
Starting point is 00:21:58 who has chosen... Do you suggest that two separate individuals have chosen the pen name Lemons today? I know not. It is not my place to guess. You know, whether it was the same... Maybe it's a very common... Maybe it's a pop culture reference.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Ask your question, Thaddeus. Dear Dwayne! Petra fell asleep again. Oh, she woke. Dear Dwayne, what is the best part of being an orc? Hmm. That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I think, from experience, the cheek. Last time I ate an orc, the best part was definitely the cheek. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Being an orc. The best part was definitely the cheek. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Being an orc, not eating. Do you eat orcs? I mean... Dwayne the Orc Johnson, surely you would not eat another orc.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Well, not because I wanted to, but you know, when your clan fights another group of orcs and then... It's also known as a clan. You don't just defeat them, you have to eat them. Oh, oof, sweet rotas.
Starting point is 00:23:15 It's actually, like, pretty environmental. Is it? You sort of clean up after yourself. Yeah, we're not wasting anything. We eat our enemies. I shall not be part of this. I will retreat to the absent church. Glorified rotors by myself.
Starting point is 00:23:38 I know what that means. He's gonna go touch his personal sketch. No, no, I'm not. Why? You are, you are. I'm glorifying Rhoda's true prayer. I'm talking about Wankin'.
Starting point is 00:23:52 He's talking about Wankin', he is. Ah, I've written many a ballad to this day. Art of self-love. Samesies, you got a song about Wankin'? Oh, yeah. Well, it's actually very similar to the non-Eachie song. Is it another jingle about Wankin'? It's similar, yes. We're singing's actually very similar to the non-agency song. Is it another jingle about wanking? It's similar, yes.
Starting point is 00:24:08 We're singing a wanking jingle! No. No, just... Ring the bell! Ring the bell! Ring the bell! Ring the bell! I know you want to pull it now, but don't it won't be nice.
Starting point is 00:24:25 That's against... That's an anti-wanking song. What? Yes, it's an anti-wanking jingle. I have to make money somehow, and sometimes it's with townships. They ask me to write jingles to stop the wanking problem. Townspeople, townspeople, open your shutters and hear me. I, humble messenger Parthagos, bear answers to questions. Perhaps your question.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Okay, this first one goes out to HealthyGoblin242. HealthyGoblin242 asks, How can I possibly receive and eat high high quality meals without leaving my cavern? The answer is Green Chef. Green Chef is the first USDA certified organic meal kit company and the number one meal kit for eating well. Because Green Chef makes eating well easy and affordable with plans to fit every lifestyle or guild affiliation. Ingredients come pre-measured, perfectly portioned, and mostly prepped. So you can spend less time stressing and more time enjoying delicious cavern-cooked meals. And here this Healthy Goblin 242, whether you're keto, paleo, vegan, vegetarian, chaotic good, or just looking to eat healthier,
Starting point is 00:25:46 there's a range of recipes to suit any diet or preference. And Green Chef is now owned by Hello Fresh, another wonderful meal kit company, which means a wider array of meal plans to choose from. Now, I don't like to editorialize here much, but on a personal note, I, Parthagos the Messenger, I have nary a free moment to scour the market or rummage through boxes of recipe scrolls. That's why I use Green Chef. In fact, this very eve, once I am
Starting point is 00:26:16 done delivering answers, I shall dine on one of my favorites, honey citrus glazed tilapia. Mmm. So good. Mmm. Go to greenchef.com slash 690 and use code 690 to get $90 off
Starting point is 00:26:33 including free shipping. Other townspeople, you may use this code as well. greenchef.com slash 690 and code 690 for $90 off. Thanks. Another scroll awaits you if you choose. Well, yes, of course.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Woo-hoo! This one is from Peneli. It's for Jiggly. Hi. Tell us a tale of your father's great deeds. Oh. A tale of growing the great? I'd be more than happy to.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Let me unbuckle my mail and settle in. This is a long one. When Groin, father of Jiggly, of Clan Benefer, was but a lad himself, only 61 years old, he led a charge over the Seventh Heath into the netherworld of the giant rabbit itself. And following him was 95 members of Clan Benefer. When he crested the seventh heath, what did Groin see?
Starting point is 00:27:51 His own reflection in a vertical pool of water. Was Groin afraid? No. He is the great, great, great, great, great. Groin the Great and his friend wrote a screenplay. Wrote a play about... Wrote a play about a man who was a humble toiler, but a genius who had sort of an elder...
Starting point is 00:28:20 And you might remember the climax where the subject says, It's not my fault. It's not subject says, it's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. Yes, I remember the climax of that play in which the dwarf suggests that it's not his ancestral vault and he says, it's not my fault.
Starting point is 00:28:37 It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I know it's not my fault, but do you really know it's not your fault? It's not my fault. Anyway, Gro's not my vault. I know it's not my vault, but do you really know it's not your vault? It's not my vault. Anyway, Groen recited the seminal lines of that play, vaulted into the vertical water, and then it disappeared, revealing a spire of gold.
Starting point is 00:29:01 That gold was brought back to the clan, driven into the ground, and as time went on, it pushed up the block on which I was born. That is how I am still
Starting point is 00:29:21 Ziegle from the block. Hooray! Ended. Yes, the ceremony to Rodos has long since been finished. Oh, did you have
Starting point is 00:29:37 a good birthday? Again, Dwayne Lee Ock Johnson, it is not my birthday. Nor is it the birthday of Rodos. Oh, that was going to be my next No, it is not his birthday either. It it the birthday of Rodos. Oh, that was going to be my next... No, it is not his birthday either. It is the anniversary. Of Dagomos. No, what?
Starting point is 00:29:50 It's Dagomos. It is your anniversary? It is my birthday. Oh, it's your birthday. Yes, it is. Since you asked. Yes, it is my birthday. Nobody did ask, but...
Starting point is 00:29:59 I don't take my birthday off. I don't take it off. I could. I have the leave. I have the leave, but I don't take it. I do have don't take it off. I could. I have the leave. I have the leave, but I don't take it. I do have one more question. Yes, very well. All right.
Starting point is 00:30:10 This question is from Tell Me Tomorrow. But I pray thee, tell me today, for I am leaving at the end of this whole thing. That's the name? No, Tell Me Tomorrow, isn't it? Who hast thine largest bicepticus? Oh, that's a good one, that is. The answer to that is clear. It is I, Quarrel, paladin of Rhodos the Sunlighter. My faith in Rhodos and performing holy works has made my bicepticus extremely powerful.
Starting point is 00:30:43 And performing holy works has made my bisepticus extremely powerful. Nate, Nate, if I say the right spell as a witch, I could get bisepticuses you've never seen in your entire life. Let us see this engorged bisepticus of yours. Book it. I've often found that the bisepticus can also be found in the heart. No. No. But in that way, my bicepticus is very strong. You're talking about muscle tone?
Starting point is 00:31:14 Yes, I guess so. Petra's an expert. She teaches a class at the Y on Tuesdays. You're a physical therapist? Sports medicine. Sports medicine. Sports medicine. And I need a bicepticus massage. Well, surely, Petra, you are the most qualified to determine who has the largest bicepticus.
Starting point is 00:31:35 I think when figuring, we should account for height to bicepticus ratio. Because I, Gigli, if I were expanded to the height of saved women... Yeah, because Gigli's really short, but... Oh, we don't have to... Obviously, if you take into account all of the... Scale him up. Radios and stuff, then obviously... And his heart is quite big.
Starting point is 00:31:59 It doesn't have anything to do with anything. True. Although the orc... Oh, the orc definitely has really big... Oh, yeah, the orc's gigantic. I mean, it's a bit honest. Dwayne's are enormous.
Starting point is 00:32:10 I didn't want to say myself, but... Oh, man, she's flexing that thing. Wow, that's amazing. I mean, the orc is... Yeah, the bicep is... Yeah, it's definitely me. You know, I wanted to be nice. I wanted to go around and point out everybody else's great attributes, but...
Starting point is 00:32:23 Oh, you're making them dance. Oh, boy. They're going up and down, they is. Just don't... Please don't ask me which way to the forest, okay? Speaking of which way to the forest, that is my next township.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Because it's, uh, that-a-way. Oh! Yes, we certainly have been given two tickets to the jousting tournament here. Is that a joke, Quarrel? Figures of speech are within the domain
Starting point is 00:32:52 of Rodos the Sunlight. Oh, look! Everyone, look! The sun! It's rising! Even earlier than the day before, Rodos' power only grows. Our right has better success. Thank you, my friends. day before. Rodos' power only grows. Our right has better success.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Thank you, my friends. I hate to interrupt your ritual. Before I go, I do have one more question for you, Quariel. This is my question. Very well. From Thagomos. As I'm aware.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Starting tomorrow, the days shall get longer. Yes, exactly. But around middle of Cranth... Yes. They start getting shorter again. Indeed. That sort of happens every year. Well, it is a dark time.
Starting point is 00:33:39 If he is as powerful as you say, wouldn't the days just continue to get, you know, increasingly long? Friend, you walk a dangerous path, right? Well, I'm just saying, it seems like... Listen to me, Theramos. There is no one more powerful in this world, this universe, than Rodos the Sunlighter. If you were to suggest... If I hold you up, little linecloth is up.
Starting point is 00:34:04 If you feel like pulling it, don't. When I was a priest, I saw someone fall off the surface. Evil in my sight. Maybe I'll tryolo Moreno. Hi, I'm Joe Firestone. And I'm Manolo Moreno. And we host After Game Show, a podcast where listeners submit games, and we play them regardless of quality with a dozen listeners from around the world. We've had folks call in from as far as Sweden, South Africa, and the Philippines.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Here's an example. This is a game we called Zooey Deschananel where you turn a celebrity's name into an animal pun you have an example manola brad gorilla pit oh that's a pun on gorilla pits yep i don't know that's brad pit oh okay that's a high quality game that you can expect dr game show has new episodes every other Wednesday on Maximum Fun. Check us out, please. Switchblade Sisters. The concept is simple. I invite a female filmmaker on each week and we discuss their favorite genre film.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Listen in closely to hear past guests like the Babadook director, Jennifer Kent, Winter's Bone director, Debra Granik, and so many others every Thursday on MaximumFun.org. Tune in if you dare. It's actually a very thought-provoking show that deeply explores the craft and philosophy behind the filmmaking process, while also examining film through the lens of the female gaze. So, like, you should listen.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Switchblade Sisters. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience-supported. I do have one more question. Yes, you do. What? What? This question is for
Starting point is 00:36:26 all of us. This question is for all of you. Oh, wonderful. Very good, very good. Is it about process? Save for the end. Kind of climactic. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:36:45 You do have it, or are you taking a little birthday break? What's the happy attack on this? I just took a little, very slow drag off a cigarrillo. Love it.
Starting point is 00:36:58 It's my union break. Oh. Oh, yes.

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