Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 2-1-21

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

Bill rambles about GameStop, insulation, and liars. Subscribe to ANYTHING BETTER? YouTube ➡ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSXgVkkn59b_6JZ6UxtbdXg Apple Podcasts ➡ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anything-better/id1547081195 Spotify ➡ https://open.spotify.com/show/7shaITEYakDHsmjmzh0kCi?si=MLR-jHFiS5Kq6Rycciy5RQ

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, February 1st. 2021, you made it through the first month of 2021. Congratulations to you. You're so brave. You're a warrior. You know, January is one of the hardest months to get through in the northern hemisphere. It's the middle of winter. There's not 28 days. There's not 29 leap years days. It's not 30. There's a full 31 days. Sorry. I'm just trying to be woke and make sure that I take the time to thank everyone. I made the mistake of looking at some Twitter comments on my feed. Jesus Christ.

This one fucking jerk off. Oh, you know, I wish you podcast. This subject isn't funny. So I shut it off in the first four minutes and I'm struggling to find. There's no struggle. There's no struggle, buddy. You listen to it. You didn't like it. You shut it off. It's over. Jesus Christ. Everybody's trying to have their fucking, you know, Oprah at some point in an Oprah interview, you start crying. You know, everybody tries to have that now. I listen to a podcast and I'm struggling. You're struggling. That's what you're struggling with. Everything that's going on right now. We're going to run a third fucking decade of this war that didn't really have a purpose. And fucking, we don't know when we're getting out. It's bankrupt.

Fuck all that. I listened to a podcast today and I am struggling after shutting it off. Still struggling. Still struggling. Well, good luck with your struggle, sir or ma'am, whoever the fuck you are. I hope somehow you can pick up the pieces and find a way to carry on because I can't imagine what that must be like. To listen to a podcast done by someone you don't know and have them have the audacity to talk about something that you don't find funny. Anyway, clown ahead here. I got more sad news. I cannot believe this. Another writer passed away on Epis for Family, the great Mark Wilmore. I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm still stunned over David Richardson. You know, Mark and David, which is the two old school guys in the room that I'd love to vibe off of.

First of all, he wrote on Living Color. He was a cast member on Living Color. He wrote on The Simpsons. He wrote on the PJs with Daddy Murphy. And we were lucky enough. Mike Price brought him into Epis for Family. And what I loved about that guy was he could talk anything you wanted to talk about. Like he had this wealth of knowledge. He was a huge sports fan and likes sports for all the right reasons. And could remember all of this stuff that I had no idea about because he was like 57, going to be 58. I'm 52, going to be 53. Yeah. So he had like four years on me. And those are a big four years for me because of that part of sports history that, you know, is so fascinating to me.

The end of the AFL, beginning of the NFL, free agency, you know, was it Kurt Flood or something like that? He knew all of that stuff. He knew all of that stuff. And then he knew everything about the Rat Pack and he had seen Sammy Davis Jr. live in Vegas, Sinatra Dean. He had seen all of them. He had all of these showbiz stories. I mean, his stories about stand up. There was just really nowhere that you could go as far as just my interests. You know, sports, cars, entertainment, you know, his social commentary, all of that. Mark is the reason that everybody that loved that, you know, Aris for Rosie episode, he was the force behind that.

The smoky Greenwood character, all those guys in Casper's bar, all of that. So much of that was him. And then the Tommy Tahoe stuff, who was sort of our poor man's, you know, sort of crooner with his knowledge of seeing Count Basie and seeing Sinatra with Basie and all that stuff that he's, he just added so much to the room and he was such a sweetheart of a guy. And I remember one day he was on the phone. He had a Tesla and it wasn't working. And just listening to him tearing them a new asshole. I remember we were all in the writer's room, sitting at the table just laughing our ass off and also kind of like nervous because we had never seen Mark that upset.

And Mark was one of these guys that when he yelled, he didn't get louder. His voice just went up. And I just remember at one point he's like, he just, he's on phone and just going, I don't give a fuck. He's like, you assholes are trying to go to Mars and you can't get me into work from fucking Sin Bernadino and something like that. And it was one of those deals where like, even when he was mad, he was like spitting out punch lines. So he was like killing with us. And I feel like, like his office was that season where the writer's room was like right next door to it. And I don't know, I'm going to miss him. It just sucks. It sucks. It just sucks. Just him coming in, shuffling in.

And he just always had all of these stories. Him and Richardson, man. I mean, I talk about like an end of a fucking era. Yeah, I don't know what to say. I'm absolutely just stunned. So sorry to keep bringing up this is just people dying in my life fucking left and right. Anyway, anyway, but I hope that guy listened to the joke and didn't like it is doing all right with his struggle. I mean, I don't get people like that. It's like peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My mom choked on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I was five. How would I know that? How would I know that?

Fuck you want me to sit up with sock puppets? I'm not trying to fucking hurt anybody. I'm just fucking around here. Jesus fucking Christ. Anyways, plowing ahead. So rest in peace to the great Mark Wilmore. Mark Wilmore, thank you so much for your friendship and everything that you did on Epis for Family. And I can't believe that you're gone. Not another thing he knew where all the steak houses were.

He told me about this one that's, you know, just east of Hollywood. That's an old train car or whatever. He's like, yeah, you got to go down there. Go down at this time. There's a career waiters. You pay a little bit more money. Like knew all of those fucking places, all these places to eat and just, I don't know, whatever. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of it.

Anyway, let's just, let's get on to something later here. Let's talk, let's talk sports. Oh, Bo Freckles lost some money. Oh, Freckles lost some money this weekend. I bet on the Bruins versus the Caps. We went down three zip. And, you know, Bruins facing Zidane O'Chara for the first time since he played with Ottawa all those years ago. And it was great to see him.

He still looks as great as he ever was. Bruins got a lot of shit for letting, for not resigning him. I don't understand why. It was like we fucking signed the guy like nine million times. He played with us for 15 years. He keeps doing those one year contracts. At some point we got to move on. He has to move on.

He went to a great club. What's, what's the fucking problem? Our defense is great. Caps defense look great or whatever. So anyway, I watched the game and I just, I just had bullshit, you know, some guards and root beer floats, steak dinners. I just do it that way, man. So I lost a steak dinner on the Celtics versus the Lakers, which was a great, great game. I really enjoyed that.

I've been watching a lot of NBA. I watched the great New Orleans Pelicans versus the Milwaukee Bucks. Pelicans were up by 30 points and the Bucks never quit. Just fucking came, came back, got it within like three, four points before the Pelicans put it out of reach in the end. Just a great game. And that's a fun team to watch, by the way, the Pelicans are. And I was happy for that Lonzo ball kid because he's really coming on. He's hitting his threes and all that type of shit.

I mean, I know his dad, you know, did what he had to do to get him there. But I mean, it's just, you know, it's got to be a lot for a kid to have a dad like that. It's like, all right, dad, shut up. Jesus Christ. So anyway, it was great to see that and see Zion healthy. I enjoyed watching him and he kind of looks like a, I don't know what he's either a giant Charles Barkley or a mini shack. He's sort of like in the middle of the two, just completely unique.

Just his body type and the size that he is. It was fun, man. It was really fun to watch that, but it was not fun to watch the Celtics lose to the Lakers, but it was a great battle came right down to the last possession. Fortunately, can be shot rattled in and out with the fuck you're going to do. But I know considering the Lakers are defending champs, I was happy we played competitively against them. I mean, I know it's different if it's a seven game series. We shall see.

But I, at this point, like, I don't know, I watch hoop, I enjoy NBA hoop, but at this point, I've resigned myself to the fact that every good player essentially at some point it has a 80% chance of being a Laker. I'm just like, all right, the game has moved on from the way it used to be. All right, Bruins lose to the Capitals and OT. Well, we were down three to nothing. And Frederick tried to pick a fight with Wilson and Wilson smart enough like, dude, we got all the momentum. We're up three games and I'm not fucking fighting you. Who are you?

And Frederick kept chirping at him. So look out for that in game two. I was thinking, you know, once we made it three to two, that maybe there was a chance, or if the caps went up four to nothing in the third period that Wilson would drop them with Frederick. So look for that tonight. Monday night. Look for that. Frederick versus Wilson.

We'll see what happens. See what the kids got. Wilson's a tough customer. Any scores, goals. I'm one of the few people that is not a Capitals fan, but loves Wilson. I know a lot of people hate that guy. I don't know. I like him.

So anyway, I still haven't quite lost that bet. I got it. I was betting with Josh Adam Myers. He's a big caps fan. So we're playing back-to-back games. So I lost the first one. We shall see what happened. But I did lose a nice fucking sweet steak dinner on the Celtics Lakers.

Ah, what the fuck are you going to do? You know? Anyway, I'm loving the Bruins fourth line, though. Coralli and Wagner on the other day. Andres Bjork was playing on him, and he had like the best game of his career against the, I think it was the Penguins that second game. I don't know. Bruins looked really, really solid.

Looked really solid. And we're still getting healthy, which is a great thing. You know, it was, what's his face? Pasta just came back for the first time. We'll see what happens. You know? We shall meet again with those Capitals. Actually, tonight we're going to meet them again.

But I'm saying, down the road, I want to see what we look like down the road. I guess the Caps are, I guess they're the best in our northeast division, whatever you call it. And how about fucking Ovechkin with that fucking laser to win it in overtime? Wasn't tipped. Nobody in the way. He just fucking blasted it right by Tuka. Can't get mad at that. Well, you know, you can always get mad.

That's why I don't fucking, I don't bet money on games. Because then if I lose, I don't give a fuck. You know, I bet a couple cigars and some root beer floats and whatever. I'm still having a good time. I bet a steak dinner. I mean, I'm going to get one too, but you know, it's going to cost me a little more. And I just got the, what I thought was the last of my plumbing problems, but they've discovered something else while they were fixing it. So, you know, I don't know, what are you going to do?

It's, it is what it is. I think the sewage pipe is the last thing I have to deal with. And the guy took a peek underneath the crawl space and he is convinced that it is the original fucking, you know, 90, 100 year old fucking sewage pipe. So, you know, that's what I'm dealing with. That's what I'm dealing with. Oh, by the way, you know, I finally got caught up on that whole game stock scandal. I don't understand what the scandal is. It's just kind of funny that the people who usually get fucked were the ones doing the bullshit.

And then the rich guys shut the game down. That's what fucking blows my mind. And there's just no fucking. I mean, how many times do they have to show that this country is run by fucking a handful of fucking super rich people? How many fucking times? It's unfucking believable. I think people just don't want to fucking hear it. They just don't want to hear it.

So this is what happened. I learned basically for the nine millionth time what shorting a stock is. I had to look it up. I had to call Vinny Brand from the Stress Factory. I had to have him explain it. And then I had to watch some videos. So I think this is basically what shorting a stock is. All right.

Oh, Billy's over his fucking pay grade on this one. Basically, for whatever reason, if you have stock, if you bought stock and something, for some reason, I can fucking borrow it and then go sell it to somebody else. All right. Like I can say like, hey, you know, you got that stock there in the women's defibrillator there, right? Whatever the fuck that would be. Well, we found that the woman's heart is a little different than a male's heart in over the last 20 years. Anyways, so you got stock and women's defibrillation, right?

It's going to be very layman terms here. All right. So let's say the stock is worth 10 bucks. I go, I want to borrow that. Okay. So that I'm allowed to borrow it and then I can also go sell it. The only thing is, however long you let me borrow it for, I have to give it back to you. You know, and at which point you'll give me my 10 bucks back, right?

Women's defibrillation is trading at 10 bucks a whack. Oh, God. I've never sounded dumb. So I borrow it from you at 10 bucks. Then I put it into the market. If I'm going to short the stock, I'm betting that the stock is going to go down because now I don't have it. I just sold it to somebody else, right? So they buy it at 10.

So right now I broke even. What I'm hoping is, is the bottom's going to fall out of it. So then I can buy it back for like eight bucks. And then when I take it and give it back to the guy I borrowed it from, he's giving me my 10 bucks back and I just made two bucks. Now, obviously you, you multiply that time, numerous shares, then you can actually make some decent money. So essentially what happened, obviously the more money you have, two things it seems you have. A higher chance of making a fuckload of money, shorting stocks. And then also because you can buy, you can borrow so many and then dump them into the market.

You can create this artificial look that this stock is plummeting. So then everybody else starts dumping their stocks, right? Which drives it down. And then what you do is right where you see it starts to settle at the bottom. You go back in and buy whatever the 10,000 shares that you paid a hundred grand for. You then buy them back, all of them back for like 25 grand. And then you give it back to the guy and you just made 75 grand. Well, this was a game for fucking rich people.

So evidently a group of kids or something on Reddit somehow figured out that there was these big hedge funds with GameStop, which is a strip mall slash mall store that sells video games was going to go out of business. So they decided that they were going to short the stock. Now I don't get how this works. Like who the fuck doesn't know that they're going out of business? They sell video games. They're a brick and mortar store in a fucking strip mall or a mall. You would think that, yeah, your day's a number, whatever.

So they fucking buy a bunch of this, they borrow a bunch of this stock to flood the market, to cause it to go down and then they're going to short it and they're going to buy it back and then give it back to people. They're basically going to profit off the fact that this thing is shit in the bed. So evidently these kids on Reddit, what they did was when they flood, these rich guys flooded the market with it, was they bought it and they bought up every bit of it that they could. And then because it was, even though it was being dumped, the fact that they were buying it gave it value. And then the price of it went through the fucking roof. It went from $8, I heard, up to $300 a share.

So now these rich fuckos who probably, let's say, you know, at eight bucks a share bought 100,000 of them, right? So their buy-in was 800 grand. To get those 100 shares back, they now had to spend $30 million. And a couple, and that's what, I guess, basically what happened in a couple billion dollars was lost. And like super rich people's portfolios were going to be completely wiped out. The way super rich people wipe out the savings of regular people and veterans all the fucking time during the stock market, right? They are so fucking rich. They said, no, uh-uh, stop.

And they just shut it down. They just stopped them. They hit freeze and said, you can't fucking do that. And I saw some guy, now listen, I need to read up way more on this. This is essentially what happened. And then this fucking guy goes, this was basically an attack on rich people. I loved it. I loved the story.

But I got to tell you, I also understand the concern about it. Okay, because now what you have is that was essentially the Me Too movement of the stock market, where they were, they essentially, I don't know, can he say exposed? People knew that that was happening, but they basically were rising up against these people that had this control and who had done all this toxic, horrible stuff to other people, right? If you believe that, you might say, well, you know, it's capitalism. It's how fuck it works. It's not capitalism. It's an oligarchy, right? All the money's in the hands of a few fucking people.

Come on, stop. But what I will say about this country is some fuckhead like me can't go out and tell some jokes and make some nice, nice money that he then loses on a Bruins and Celtics game to the tune of, you know, cigars, root beer, floats and steaks. Anyway, what's crazy now is that's the first time regular people have all gotten together on, would you consider Reddit a social media site? I don't know what it is. I don't understand what Reddit is. Reddit is like people who like to type. It's like a giant chat room, right? It's a, I don't know.

People with strong thumbs go on fucking Reddit. They got a lot to say out there. So this now is open the door that just like, what's to stop some other group of people from doing this? So what I do love about it is now all these fucking rich people have to look over there. They get to feel what the fuck they've made everybody else feel over the last century in the goddamn stock market. So I do like that. But then also, you know, just listening to the average fucking person when you walk down the goddamn street, you know, especially during the whole pandemic here, you really understand why you need a small group of people running shit because there's so many mouth breathing morons out there.

So you combine that with the fucking stock market. This is going to be, this could get crazy. So we'll see what happens. But it's so blatantly fucking obvious that the market is like not even controlled by the governing body that's supposed to be controlled. It's just, it's the same thing as the president. The president is, is, is, I've always said this, it's like when your flight is delayed, you know, when you fucking yell at the person behind the ticket counter. That's what the president is. You never get to the owner of the airline.

So I feel like the stock market is basically the same way you got these fucking, which would make sense. Why we haven't, we have not tried to embrace solar fucking power and different alternative forms of fucking energy, considering we've been under the thumb of these blue blood fucking oil companies and banks forever. Oh, I got it all figured out over here. But that's what keeps, and that's what fucking blows my mind. And then when something like that happens, and it's like, well, there it is. There it is. They just shut off.

They just fucking hit pause on the stock market. These headphones guys just fucking did that, made a few phone calls. That was it. Right. I didn't know you could do. There it is right fucking there. They blow right by it doesn't fit the narrative. I know I got a lot of mistakes in that.

I'm still reading up on it, but you got it wasn't bad. There wasn't for a bad for a guy that went to summer school a lot more than he didn't. Right. Whatever the worst case scenario I made, I made you feel smarter. Isn't that what you want? Isn't that why you're listening to this? Well, isn't it? All right.

What the fuck am I in all of this? You know, I looked up a bunch of people, man. I was watching that Ken Burns documentary on baseball and I just jumped in the middle and what's great about it is it's it's so there's each episode so interesting. It doesn't even fucking matter where you jumped in. I jumped in in the the 60s and 70s and just I love the 60s with all those overpowering pictures to the point they had to lower the mound because they were just so fucking dominant. The Bob Gibson's, the Sandy cofaxes, all of those guys.

I love that whole era. I love those ballparks right before they took them down. Those original ballparks, the original great ballparks, you know, Connie Max Stadium, Polo Grounds, Ebbets Field, which I guess they took down on like 1960. But you know, I mean all of those original Yankee Stadium. Hell, the Pirates played Forbes Field. Just all all of that type of shit. I love all of that stuff.

So I was watching that thing and there was some stat in there that absolutely blew my fucking mind. I can't remember if it was it was Bob Gibson. Oh yeah, Bob Gibson. Do you know in 1967, he came out against Jim Longberg, the Red Sox ace. We had taken them seven games and he had won two games and Longberg had won two games. And as was the Red Sox luck for so many years. Longberg was was pitching on only two days rest and Bob Gibson had his full whatever rest. And he came out.

Not only did he dominate the Red Sox, he got up to the plate and hit a fucking homerun. I was like, wow, I didn't know that. It's fucking amazing. So anyway, let me read a little bit of advertising here. And I'm looking forward to all you guys giving me shit slash teaching me more about the stock market. Oh, there's no what happened. You dumb freckled cunt. I know.

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Can the all-time goat get it done against the future goat? Let's see here. Me and my homes going head-to-head. And everyone talking about who and number 39 is going to win the big game. I think there's a typo there. All of a sudden, you went to like puncture, not punctuation. What would you call that? You know the thing for the and and then the number sign?

I don't even know what the fuck that means. All right, whether you're on the chiefs or box, just remember where your betting is just as important as who you're betting on. That's why I always tell my friends to go to my bookie. My bookie has all the props for the big game. These guys truly let you bet on anything, whether it's the length of the national anthem, MVP, or the color of the sports drink dumped on the winning coach. My bookie has a buffet of chiefs, box props for you to chew on. Now, how the fuck are they going to handicap what color the Gatorade's going to be? I guess what you do is you offer a bunch of colors.

And that gives them so they won't lose their shirt and you can still win money. All right, you can even win big on NFL Squares. No need to leave the comfort of your home. You can access the sports book and casino right from your iPhone. Right from your phone. Sorry. Don't miss out on the last game of the year. Sign up at my bookie today and use the promo code BRR to have your deposit matched halfway up to a grand.

That's a free cash bonus just for making your deposit. Use promo code BRR to claim the offer bet win and get paid at my bookie. Guess what? I'm going to look at the spread right now and I'm going to give you my fucking what I'm going to do here. Super Bowl spread. Kansas City minus three. That's it. They've only given three points.

I don't like that. I was hoping I wanted like four or five and then I would have buried the Buccaneers. We shall see. I think it's going to come down to coaching. I really do with all this talk about Brady and fucking my homes. I think it's going to come down to who's the who's got the better game plan. All right. That's what it's going to come down to.

I don't think it's going to come down to those two guys. I think somebody's going to have to bella check the other guys team. And that that guy is was it Bruce Aaron's? Is that his name? The guy from Tampa Bay. That coach needs to build Bella check. And he reads team. That's what he needs to do.

All right. Because if he doesn't, the fucking chiefs are just going to run away with it. That's what I think. But they got Tom Brady. I'm taking Tom Brady and I'm taking the points. All right. I'm Bill Burr and I support this message. All right.

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And enter the promo code burr, B-U-R-R. Repeat the 20% off your first order offer and URL promo code twice. We'll just write it out. All right. I got to repeat the two. Okay. You get 20% off your first order. Okay.

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Go fuck yourself. All right. Let's move on here. Let's move on with the podcast. Get to your... Well, I got one announcement here. I got a podcast with Verzi. I'm just doing podcasts with my friends now, you know, considering, you know, I guess,

I don't know when this fucking pandemic is going to end. So I'm just going to fucking... I'm just going to podcast while I'm waiting. I have a new podcast with Paul Verzi. Please subscribe to anything better on your podcast application of choice and on your YouTube for full video. Links will be in the podcast description. All right.

Printer, Inc. Wait. Did I miss the... Was that something I was supposed to read? All right. Printer, Inc. Yeah, I learned about printer. Hey, Bill, I don't think...

I don't know if this works, but have you tried printing in, like, Navy? Blue or something dark instead of black? Maybe still the computer will say it needs black ink, but it will still be legible. Just a thought. By the way, you can change the color by choosing Select All, then click that little menu with the black bar. You know, I know you can do all of that. I just can't figure out how to do it.

And I also found out you can buy black ink on its own. So there goes that conspiracy theory, too. All right. I also figured out the reason why my TV downstairs never fucking works is because I was hitting the wrong fucking button. I mean, I've learned a lot. Okay. The problem is me.

All right. Attic and installation response. I built maybe too late here for a tip regarding your recent renovation project, but here goes from architect slash contractor with 35 years in the biz. Ah, fuck. Please don't tell me you're going to tell me I did everything wrong. Blown-in installation is really effective. The rollout fiberglass type leaves gaps, if not installed carefully.

Well, I got good guys to do it. All right. You're not going to make me question myself now. Blown-in is made from recycled newspaper and treated with a fire retarded. Blown-in leaves no gaps and should be at a thickness specific to LA. Every region in the country has a code or required R value related to a local climate. It can be installed thicker if you want a higher R value for greater efficiency with either type, the efficiency is greatly reduced.

If all holes gaps are not air sealed, i.e wire holes, electric boxes for ceiling lights, recess lights, covers, plumbing holes, gaps above the jet, jet, jet, jet, jet. If either type is used and installed to the required R value, but not first air sealed. Dude, couldn't you just let me be happy with my fucking insulation? Now I'm going to be all freaked out. I appreciate that you wrote in on fucking with it. It's as a result, not meeting the R value and not as effective. Lots of videos out there.

Another important part is roof venting. Too much to address here, but that's absolutely worth looking into as well. Plumbing. Hot water pipes should be insulated. Hot water will then reach each fixture sooner and conserves water. Even insulating cold pipes doesn't hurt. In some cases, as in an attic, they can condensate, soak the insulation, drip in stains, ceilings, etc. Oh, Jesus.

Other insulation benefits keeps the heat out. Sound deadening helicopters. Neighbors don't have to hear you screaming, riffing, ranting, or Nia screaming for the millionth time, trying to get you to shut the fuck up. Hope it's not too late. Good luck, Bill. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, I was a little late.

You know what's funny is everybody I met said they hated the spray and that it sucks. I think because they all have to try and work around it rather than just rolling it up. It's a big pain in the ass for them. Maybe that's what it was. But I appreciate you letting me know that I've put the wrong insulation into my house. I didn't say it was wrong. It just needs to be made sure there's no gaps. But I think they did a great job.

Unfortunately, I'm coming to the end here of things I need to do to my house. And the last thing I need to do, technically, I don't need to do it because nothing's happening right now, but I don't want to wait until something does happen. I.e. my sewer pipe out to the street splits after 100 years of fucking film noir shits going through it. All right. Update from 12819 podcast episode refailed vasectomy. Hey, Billy, sad tits. Writing with an update from your January 28, 2019 episode regarding failed vasectomies.

I am the pregnant girlfriend referenced. Oh shit. Oh shit. I don't remember this, but I love hearing the finally hearing from the other side. Listen to this. Okay. My ex-boyfriend wrote in about having a vasectomy, me accidentally getting pregnant and asked you for advice. My ex-boyfriend idolizes you and used the situation situation and quotes to get your attention.

He also used the feature on your podcast to legitimize himself to me at the time. I had no idea that he had lied to me about his entire background and identity, including having a vasectomy. Oh my God. Yep. That lying stupid sociopath, pathic motherfucker lied about having a vasectomy, then got me pregnant and then tried manipulating me into keeping the baby, including writing to you asking what should we do when I'd already made it clear that I would not be keeping the baby because we'd only been dating for three months at the time. Holy shit. This guy's a lunatic. You killed him and came up with this as your alibi, but this is, this is riveting to give more background.

He's covered in tattoos of a city he's never lived in in a region he wasn't raised with and doesn't even practice. Oh my God. While we were dating, his dad contracted a terminal cancer and air quote died. But I now know his dad is alive and well. I'm barely scratching the surface here on all his lies and deception. Wow. I know you joke around a lot, but I'd love to know your serious thoughts on what type of person behaves like this. Well, the type of person that I wish you didn't describe it so well on this podcast.

Because I don't need this guy fucking getting upset with me. This guy sounds crazy. Manipulates people on this massive scale. By the way, I'm sorry. You were also deceived by this sad sack of shit, sending love to your family and baby girl. Well, I mean, I just, I mean, I just read these things like they're true. I mean, it didn't really affect my life, I think as much as you. Wow.

I don't know why I have no fucking idea that would be like, but if I was a psychologist, these are the people I would want to treat. Just for the entertainment value of like, well, what the fuck's he going to say today? You know, I just would, I would like, I try to like feed him, you know, to see what he come up with. Be okay. Did you see Chuck Yeager just passed away? And he just, oh, you know, I met Chuck Yeager. I just said, okay, here we go. Let's see here.

Pathological liars. Why? Why do they lie? Okay. Some lines seem to be told in order to make the pathological liar appear the hero or to gain acceptance or sympathy while there's seemingly nothing to be gained from other lies. Some evidence from the 2007, from 2007 suggests that issues affecting the central nervous system may predispose someone to pathologically lying. Pathological liar. How to cope with someone's being a pathological liar.

Oh yeah, break up with them. Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudolotofantantastica is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying. Unlike telling the occasional white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings or getting in trouble. A pathological liar seems to lie for no apparent reason. This can make it frustrating or hard to know what to do if you believe, what, wait, or hard to know what to do if you believe you've met one. Well, it's this easy. You just get them out of your life. Though pathological lying has been recognized, you don't be amazing if two pathological liars met each other in a bar.

Like how long could they lie to each other before they would both realize, oh wait, this person's doing what I'm doing. Or would they catch it quicker because, you know, they'd see it because that's what they do. You know what I mean? I don't know. Well, I'm sorry you got knocked up by a pathological liar. But am I supposed to believe you at this point? Because now I believed him. I mean, I don't know.

Who knows? All right, girlfriend questions, my sexuality. Good morning, motherfucker. I like that. It's a different one. Good morning, motherfucker. Big fan of the podcast and stand-ups. Thank you.

Michelle Obama bit from Paper Tiger actually made me cry laughing. Lots of layers. I was talking about doing that. I did a private show one time at this guy's house out in fucking Malibu, right on the ocean. And I did that bit right before I did it on my special and whew, did not go over well. Anyway, so in Nashville with my girlfriend and all her friends, four dudes, seven girls, four day weekend. I have met them all and wait, wait, what just happened? So in Nashville is how that sentence starts.

So in Nashville with my, what you mean? So I'm in Nashville with my girlfriend and all her friends, four dudes and seven girls for a four day weekend. I have met them all at different points. And while I thought they were losers, as my girlfriend describes, they were all real nice, just not really my type of people or vibe. Wait a minute. Your girlfriend described her friends as losers? I'm confused. There's four dudes and seven girls, four day weekend.

I've met them all at different points. And while I thought they were losers, as my girlfriend describes, they were all real nice, just not really my type. Okay, so you thought they were losers? And she said, no, they're nice. Just not your type of people. Parentheses dubstep at 10 in the morning, making jokes about drinking again. Entire weekend, I'm watching all these dude wrestle around and grab each other's dick. Dicks, fair to say for context, I wrestled in high school and when I asked what the fuck are y'all doing, I was told it was just wrestling.

I should, I should get it. Okay. All right, bro, I never put my hand on my buddy's cock five times while we were wrestling in front of a party. For the record, me and my friends don't do that at all, let alone in public. I consider myself a man's man and don't like to be touched by girls who aren't my girlfriend, let alone other dudes. We are at a bar, tempers are up because I didn't want to be there anyway. The one guy who sent it all over the edge just doesn't, there's no punctuation in this everybody, just doesn't walk right. Man, the dude sachets when he walks.

Oh, I see, I see what's going on here. You know, walks with his hips and shit and as my girl puts it, hates his girlfriend. I'm thinking it's cause she's not his type as in female. Okay. And this douchebag tries to sit on my lap and I laughed it off and was like, nah, bro, not me. Then he puts his hand on my inner thigh and asked me what's wrong. Looking into my eyes like he's ready to fuck me in front of God and everyone. Uh, yeah, this is not, this is none of this is cool.

This guy should not be doing any of this shit. I've been told I have a bill bird temper. Oh Jesus. And I lost it. And when she asked me what's wrong, he's just trying to be nice. I said, no, he's trying to fuck me cause this dude is gay. And she says, why do you think he's gay? Are you that uncomfortable with your sexuality?

Of course, of course. I knew it was going to get thrown back at you. You know, if, if that was reversed and it was some guy putting his hand on her inner thigh and she goes, and she flipped out, you would back her. You know, it's your body. Don't touch me. Right. That seems to only work for women. Anyway, so naturally I left the bar and broke up with her as soon as we got home.

Nice move. Nice move. That was a good move. Cause this, this is like the whole, you just got to take the sickle out. He goes kind of blew up and decided to not it, to not end it like that. But now I am sitting here thinking, Hey, I'm 21. Why still stay with this girl who is cool and could be the mother of my children. Blonde nursing major without dad, daddy issues.

I mean, come on. I know a unicorn when I see one. No, you don't. You're 21. So am I just wondering if, so I am just wondering if you would stay with her after that. Thanks man for all the content. You're the man. Go fuck yourself.

Well, listen, I would appreciate capital letters and punctuations if you're going to write something that long. I mean, dude, I don't know how you feel about this chick. I mean, that sounds like pretty fucking crazy what happened in the bar. But I think a lot of guys, myself included have been in that situation. You know, that guy who's pretending to be straight, but isn't straight. And then he has a few and then what he really is starts coming out. And then when you're going to go and like, Hey, I don't, I don't go that way. Then all of a sudden it becomes your problem, which is weird.

So, you know, you did the right thing. Get the fuck off me. I don't like being touched like that by another guy. Fuck off. Leave me alone. You're well within your right to do that. That doesn't make you homophobic or anything like that. That's just makes you, you have nice solid fucking boundaries.

No one should be touching anybody if they don't want to be fucking touched, right? And then second of all, you got the fuck out of there, which is great because you got a temper like me. Fantastic. So you got the fuck out of there. And then in the end you said, fuck this, I'm breaking up with you. Now, did you break up with her because she wasn't supporting you or because you was so freaked out by what that guy did? That's what I would figure out. But like, I kind of like the whole clean slate.

Fuck this shit. I'm out of here. Because I have to be honest with you, like that's not cool of her to not have you back in that situation. So I would say what I would do if I was you. I'd think about it and after a few days, you know, if you're not just afraid to be single, if it's not those feelings, if you're truly missing her, then I'd sit down with her. I'd try to work it out. I'd talk to her and just tell her like, why that bothered you?

You know, all right, there's that. Okay, guys, you know how bad I read out loud. So please, if you could just help me out with capital letters, punctuation, you know, instead of just voice texting the whole fucking thing and then hitting send. All right, my best friend came on to me while my girlfriend is in the hospital. My best friend came on to me while my girlfriend is in the hospital. All right, dear Billy Redbeard. Now, what I love about this is I don't know which way this is going to go.

Okay, is this a lesbian and her girlfriend's in the hospital and this is a female chick coming onto her? Is this a dude? All right, me and my friend have been. Is this a guy with a girlfriend and then his best friend dude came on to dude best friend? Male best friend? How the fuck do you say it? Lost in pronouns. Okay, me and my friend have been friends for two years.

She helped me get comfortable in this state. I now live in after I moved from my hometown and nothing like this has ever happened before. Most recently, she helped me get through my girlfriend of a little under a year being in the hospital for the past four months. Here's the problem. Last week, we were hanging out in her backyard. We were tossing back a few beers and generally just shooting the shit. We were six feet apart, so there's no need to report me to the CDC. We both drank a little too much that night and at one point she was leaning over me trying to kiss me.

I literally had to hold up my hand to stop our lips from making contact. I was pretty drunk and was so caught off guard that all I could think to say was no thank you. She went back to her seat and we kept talking, but the energy had changed. The next morning, she texted me saying, drank more than she should have. And she said she didn't remember much of our conversation, but I think she was lying. Yeah, she was embarrassed. She asked to hang out once since the incident, but I turned it down. Well, that's good.

You got good boundaries. Now, here's my question. Is there any way I can stay friends with this girl without being a terrible boyfriend? I know I probably have to distance myself from her for a while. It's just that she means a lot to me as a friend. Is there some hope of salvaging the friendship or is it beyond repair? The lovely Nia has any advice. Maybe she could provide a woman's perspective.

Thank you. Go fuck yourself. Unfortunately, she's not here. My gut is telling me that the reason why she was so friendly to you and has been helping you for so fucking long since you came there is because she's liked you the whole time. And maybe she was hoping that you'd like her like that and you don't or whatever, but she still likes you that way. And she got a little drunk and then tried to kiss you.

I don't know. But I don't know. I don't know what her deal is, but I can tell you this. As far as boyfriend, girlfriend, yeah, you can't hang out with her. Just what if your girlfriend had the same thing happen with a guy and he tried to kiss her, but she still wanted to hang out and be friends. You wouldn't be comfortable with that and that would not be cool, right? So it's the same thing with her.

She would not be cool. You don't need to bring it up. I just would, you know, you know, some secret she just keep. Okay, you can handle this thing in-house. You don't need to fucking cause all this goddamn- I'm in the fucking hospital and you're trying to kiss my boyfriend. Sorry. You don't need that shit.

Just, you know, I don't, I don't want to tell you. I never, I didn't have female friends when I was your age like that because that shit would happen. So I don't know how to handle that one. A lot of stuff above my pay grade. All right. I apologize to everybody who actually pays attention to the news and is into finance that actually understands what shorting a stock is.

I think I did an okay job trying to explain it. Well, you know, Bill, sometimes okay isn't, isn't not, is just not good enough. You know, it's just not good enough. All right. Anyways, that's the podcast for this week. The Bruins got the capitals tonight. Who the Celtics got next? This is so fucking incredible to be home and be able to watch this shit.

Like I have like a nine to five, you know, it's weird is what it is. We have the Golden State Warriors. Oh, okay. All right. Then we got the Kings. Then we got the Clippers. We got to be on the road. Then we got the Suns.

Yeah, we got to be on the road here. What are the odds all of them would come to our place? Then we got the Jazz and then we're home for the Raptors. Whoa, look at that. One, two, three, four, five game road trip. The Warriors, the Kings, the Clippers, the Suns and the Jazz. All right. How do you get tickets to these games, by the way?

And there's only like 18 people in the crowd. Celtics are playing the Clippers Friday, February 5th. Man, I wonder if I can get two tickets to that. How do you do that? Take my lovely wife out. I am, you know, and I might do that. God, Jesus. They're like fucking like one scalper down there with the mask on.

He has all the tickets. Jesus Christ. Anyway, all right, let's blow it. How few people are going to be at a WNBA game? I mean, it already looked like a fucking pandemic the entire time. I still never understand why women are not going to those games, packing it to the fucking Raptors, you know? Oh, that's right.

They don't get along with each other. Okay, everybody, that is fucking with you. That is the podcast for Monday. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday. Go Bruins, go Celtics, go fuck yourself.