Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 2-12-24
Episode Date: February 12, 2024Bill rambles about the Super Bowl, leaving a loud party, and the Sphere. Helix:Â Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners! Â Go to www.HelixSleep.com/BURR ...and use code HELIXPARTNER20 SimpliSafe: Â Order now to get 20% off any new SimpliSafe system with Fast Protect Monitoring. Â www.simplisafe.com/BURRÂ
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Hey, what's going on it's Bill Byrnes time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday
February 12th
2020
Fawa, what's going on, Hawaii?
How's it going did you enjoy the Super Bowl were the commercials what you thought they'd be?
I were the commercials what you thought they'd be?
I went to the game as I mentioned, I was gonna be out there, me and Paul Verzi
did the Bet MGM.
The Anything Better Live, we did a live podcast,
what am I trying to say here?
At Brad Garrett's Comedy Club, at the MGM Grand,
I had never been there before. It is a beautiful, beautiful comedy club at the MGM Grand. I had never been there before. It is a beautiful, beautiful
comedy club. Dare I say, perfect. What was really incredible was all the pictures that
he had up on the wall. Nothing but top notch comedians, comedic actors Everything that he had on the wall, I just there wasn't one person like oh
Fuck is that person doing on the way? You know what I mean?
Something to have a good look a Hall of Fame
And a sports thing and you just go like that fucking guy made it
This is the Hall of Fame
Many fucking times did he make the all-Star game? There was none of that
nothing but
You know top-notch
Comedians committee characters and all that stuff so we went out and
First night we did the show there. We had a great time
And afterward what the hell did we do after?
I don't even remember.
Jesus Christ, this whole weekend was just a blur.
I think we ended up at, we went to Seize's,
went to their cigar bar, that's what we did.
And Ed Reed was in there.
One of the greatest defensive players of all time,
speaking of Hall of Famers.
Obviously, no questions about that, man,
making it into the Hall of Fame.
Verzi was fucking freaking out.
He was the one who spotted him.
He said, oh, fuck, he goes, dude, that's Ed Reid.
Is that Ed Reid?
That's fucking Ed Reid.
Um...
And, um...
He was like, dude, I wanna go over and say hello. I wanna go over and say hello, my dude.
Don't say hello. Leave the guy alone.
He's like, alright, alright.
He fucking freaked out.
Um...
Anyway...
Um...
So we had a great time that night and, uh...
Went to bed early or whatever.
Smoked my first cigar in like fucking almost 40 days.
Obviously enjoyed that.
And then the next day we went golfing.
We went to this golf club called Summit.
If you're out here in Vegas, I'm not gonna lie to you, it ain't fucking cheap, but Jesus
Christ.
God damn, that might be the most beautiful golf course
I've ever been to.
And I played really well.
And I actually played all 18.
I usually, you know, I'm not gonna lie to you,
by seven holes in I'm starting to count down,
going like, let me get the fuck out of here, but...
I had a great time playing, I had a great caddy, and I just did what the guy said.
And...
It's funny, a lot of the shit that I learned from drumming, I just applied a golf.
It's so weird, just how...
Anytime you try to fucking like in drums,
if you want to get like playing like in drums, like playing drums,
if you want to get like a big sound, you know,
your instinct is like to bring your arms all the way up and just bash your
fucking drums,
you know, slam the stick down on it and you end up almost
like choking out the sound. It's the more relaxed you play, the more the drum can like
sing and actually you can hear them and it's the exact same thing like in comedy. If you
go up like, oh, I gotta get him, oh, I gotta fucking kill. You know, fucking going up there
and you're just working, they see you working. And even if they want to like you, there's
just something about it that's just uncomfortable.
And you get laughs, but you don't kill. You go up there, you don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna say whatever I want to say,
I don't fuck these people, you know?
Not in a disrespectful way,
but you know, fuck them if they don't like this shit.
You end up having like your best sets.
And golf is the same thing,
is like baseball or anything,
where if it's just like you know if you try to fucking
You know smash it
To the neck in the fucking parking lot you end up grounded out to short
Golfs the same thing so I just was like all right. I'm just gonna try to not give a fuck
Because I always say I don't give a fuck
But then you know after a couple you, you have a couple of good shots, you want to have another one, or you have a bad shot,
and then what do you do?
You're rushing up to your ball.
I got to get back on that.
I got to get back on that.
I got to make up for what I just did.
I didn't do any of that shit.
I think I went into every fucking sand trap on the first fucking nine holes and I was just laughing my cat he go alright this
is I feel at home here this is what I'm doing I'm gonna get my sand trap game
together but I just tried to keep my hands relaxed and all of that thing and
I was fucking hitting it straight the whole goddamn day. I only lost, I think three balls, I mean that's for 18 holes, that's pretty good for me.
But I hung in there, did all 18 holes, part one, that was my best one.
I should have part another one, but like an idiot, I went for the hole and the greens was super fast.
And then I went like at least like eight or nine feet past it and I'm not going to fucking
sink that.
But the fucking funniest thing, I can't believe I didn't film this, was Verzi and my buddy
Mike were playing like, you know, I don't know what the fuck,
it was 20 bucks a hole or something.
They got down to the last hole
and Verzi's last shot of the day,
he was in the rough right off the green
and he fucking chipped it, you know,
and it hit the green and it just started rolling and it went into the cup and it was
fucking hilarious was the sun was behind him so I couldn't even see it.
Dude, his celebration was the funniest shit ever.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, it was fucking cold, right?
And we were in the pro shop and this fucking guy dude comes up to us and we're going like, yeah,
it's kind of cold out there.
You know, I think I'll be all right with this fucking sweatshirt or whatever.
And the guy's like, no, no, he goes, you need two gloves.
You need a hat and versi about this fleece thing.
He goes, no, you got to buy the bigger thing.
He goes, look out there.
He goes, look, look at it.
It's snow.
He points at the fucking mountains it's
like dude that's like 4,000 feet above us
we were fucking laughing about that guy the guy quit after nine holes too we saw
him at the turn and he was fucking going home it was hilarious and I'm not
going to lie to you it was fucking cold golf, but he was acting like he was
going out there swinging a metal bat.
You got to get two gloves.
I immediately was like, fuck this guy, I'm not even wearing a glove.
That was one of those things where you just wanted to be like, dude, you're kind of a
pussy.
It's a funny thing.
He was a total pussy, but he could still kick my ass,
so I didn't say it.
How fucking, that's a fucking funny moment in life.
When somebody's being a pussy, they are a fucking pussy,
but you're not gonna call them a pussy
because they could kick the shit out of you.
I mean, that's basic.
That was the situation.
That's, you know, as you get older, man,
that's when it ends up fucking happening.
When you're younger, you know,
you can just laugh and just say that,
you know, Jesus Christ, buddy, you know,
why don't you take two fucking Maxi pads
and glue them to either side of your fucking ears?
So we went out on the, anyway, we go out to the fucking,
whatever, whatever the hell you warm up and you know we immediately hit
it off with our caddies because we were just fucking trashing each other and shit.
So anyway so we go to, and right fucking Verzi, okay Paul had bought like this pom-pom hat
right that he had, that he put on over his regular hat and he had his sunglasses on, right?
And this little fucking windbreaker thing that he had. And he played great all day. So he fucking
chips out of the fucking rough. It lands and it fucking rolls into the cup. And I couldn't see
it rolling in because I had sunglasses on. I'm old and he was backlit by the sun. And dude, it was the funniest fucking celebration.
He just goes, yeah!
And he starts fucking running, right?
He fucking took his golf club.
He fucking throws his golf club.
And he's going, yeah!
He was yelling, yeah!
As he did all of this.
He goes, yeah, he fucking threw his golf club and then he grabbed his fucking, his pom-pom
hat and his hat.
He threw that and then he fucking, he's like, yeah, and he fucking threw his sunglasses
and then he galloped sideways and hugged his caddy, just screaming the whole time.
Dude, I was laughing my fucking ass I was
so happy for him but it was also fucking ridiculous it's like dude he you
celebrated more than Phil Mickelson did when he won his first Masters but I can't
believe I didn't film that I wish I filmed. I would have put it in slow motion. And I was going to play the ending of
that song that they used to play at the end of This Week in Baseball.
It's really this fucking dramatic thing. They used to show the baseball players like running in slow motion.
I was going to have that.
Oh my God, it was fucking awesome.
So that was the golf.
And then we came, we stayed at the Bellagio and we went to their steakhouse.
We had a great time there.
Sat outside, it was funny, we sat outside and like the water fountains were shooting up and
shit and I was like, I should have brought my wife here. Jesus Christ, this is amazing.
Great seafood platter, eight like fucking kings.
And then I just fucking went to bed both nights I just
went to bed right after so the next day we wake up right you know Super Bowl
Super Bowl Super Bowl fucking Sunday and wake up hit the gym again right hit the gym again, right? Hit the gym a couple times on this thing.
I'm gonna tell you something, man.
Like the fucking plastic surgery and the fucking,
like human beings now are becoming like
those fucking classic Ford Broncos
where it's really hard to find one
where the fenders haven't been cut out, you know? so they can fucking lift them and put like big attires on them
There was a lot of fucking rest o mods in the gym, and I'm talking dudes
that the new phenomenon a guys my age and they are fucking
fucking jacked I
Mean I'm talking like throw you through a fucking wall.
They're 55 years old.
They're fucking on juice.
They got hair systems.
And there's like all these fucking women in there and there's like these fucking weird
looking asses and titties and fucking faces yank back and shit.
I mean, it's a fucking epidemic.
And I get just as a guy, you know,
as a big Hollywood phony, I gotta be honest with you guys,
you fucking regular people.
You people not in shown business,
you really need to shut the fuck up about plastic.
It is out of fucking control.
I couldn't fucking believe, I'm just sitting there looking at that guy going like, that guy is on
like fucking horse tranquilizer. It's not like the 80s, you know, where you'd fucking, your nuts would
shrivel up, you know what I mean? You'd walk around with no neck, but I'm just saying there are,
and you'd walk around with no neck. But I'm just saying, you know what I'm saying.
These fucking guys walking around
that got on like tight T-shirts my age
and you see like their back muscles.
It's just like, you just didn't see that.
You just didn't fucking see it.
How aging has changed?
You know what they would look like?
They were like, you know what a restomad is in a car?
Where like on top, you know, it looks like a fucking,
whatever, whatever, 67 Cadillac El Dorado,
but underneath it's 2024 technology.
They're like the reverse of that.
They're like reverse restomads.
We're like underneath it's 1972 and fucking,
but to look at them, it looks like fucking 1984 or whatever.
Like the year they were born, you know?
It's almost like they're creating their own like,
like race of people.
It reminds me when I did Effis for Family,
and that was the most fascinating thing,
like doing a cartoon, is you had to create
your own race of animated people.
And we were like, what about these eyes?
Oh, you can't do those eyes, the Simpsons do those eyes.
Yellow people are the Simpsons, all right.
You can't do really bad animation, that's the Simpsons.
What's that spy show that I haven't watched in a while?
I really liked it too.
They almost looked like Johnny Quest type animation.
So eventually we settled on, after some family, so we would look different than, you know,
Family Guy and all of that shit.
Like this fucking plastic surgery that these people are getting and the fucking testosterone and all of this, whatever the
hell the fuck you say it, whatever these people are fucking taken.
I mean they have the, like everybody's walking around like they're fucking 25 years old,
but they're not.
You know what I mean? It's like when you go to buy a fucking guy claims it's like a fucking
you know Shelby Mustang and you just you know it's not a fucking she fucking painted the fucking
stripes on the god damn hood. That's got the 289 V8. Sorry I've been watching a lot of fucking Meekam
auctions just because I'm so fascinated at the fucking money at those things and how much money these idiot baby boomers
and now my generation are paying.
I saw a guy fucking paid.
He paid over $200,000 for a Ford F-250 crew cab.
Two hundred fucking grand.
It's like, what the...
Well, the truck market's really hot.
This is good to add to your portfolio,
those types of fucking people,
and they're not even gonna drive the thing.
It's like, do you even like trucks?
Should have paid fucking 60 grand for that thing.
No expense spared.
Anyway, what else was I gonna tell you guys?
Oh, I here's one want for you for younger people
All right, here's some old guy
Advice that I will give you you know this weekend they had that that amazing golf tournament
Where everybody they actually encourage people to get absolutely shit-faced and scream and yell and fucking throw shit while they're like watching golf and stuff
That is an incredible
Incredible event, but don't live your life that way
That's like one of those events as an older person, you know, I watch it now. No, why would they do that?
You know, why do they encourage all those young people to go out there and get fucked up like that
But I guess everybody ubers now
That's why probably why they didn't do it when I was a kid because when we were kids they fucking you know
You would be driving home one somebody would be
But as I was watching that it's just like know, one of the best things you can do
as a younger person is, you know, be in the group, but also be observing the group.
You know what I mean?
You don't have to fucking do what everybody else is doing.
And if it looks fucking stupid, you know, just go easy with it.
You know what I mean?
Like I was sitting there at the gym and I was looking around at all of these people and I just saw like the epidemic of bad fucking tattoos
and then the amount of jerk offs, jerk offs
that got tattooed.
What the fuck are you getting out of sailor?
You know, you're not dangerous.
What the fuck did you draw all over yourself for?
Right? And just some really bad ones.
So just, you know, I'm not saying don't get one.
I'm just saying like just because everybody else has one doesn't mean you have to go get
one.
Just because everybody's getting absolutely blind fucking drunk at something, you don't
have to fucking do that either.
You know, it's just one of those deals where I just look around, I saw this guy, this guy
in this, he had a fucking tattoo of a balloon with a string hanging on it.
Like the balloon part was on his shoulder and then the string kind of went down onto
his bicep.
I'm just like, that is a dumb as fucking shit.
I don't know, maybe I'm not supposed to look at it.
You younger people probably like, well I, if he likes balloons and he wants one
on his arm, I mean, what does it mean to fuck with you?
I'll tell you what it means.
You know what I don't like?
What I've watched is how they just constantly dumb shit down to try and rather than making people raise themselves up to this standard, corporations come and
they meet the dumbest, you know, they grade it on a reverse curve and they go down to
their level just to try and make more money.
You know what I mean?
It's like I would say, I don't know, when you see like that, what's her face there that everybody
was flipping out that they kept showing her?
Like that was just totally a fucking money move.
She made money, they made money, and they didn't give a fuck that you were flipping
out.
And they actually, you know, because they know, they know you're still going to watch
the fucking game.
And I don't know. So now they're just like well you know we've
gotten people that are into golf what about people that you know what about
alcoholics that would you like to fucking act like fucking morons and it's just
like you know how come at a golf event you have to be quiet how come you can
how come you got a fucking do let's just dumb it down and you can act like a
complete fucking animal
It is funny and shit, but
It's kind of sad watching that all the time that they just keep
you know They don't they don't make people try to be better
They just go down let's like the casinos here like you used to have to wear a sport coat to go down and fucking go gamble and shit.
You couldn't go down there dressed like a fucking bum.
You couldn't even wear sneakers.
You had to dress like an adult.
And then somewhere along the line,
they kicked them all about, the corporation's coming here,
everything becomes expensive.
And now their big thing is they go after fucking people
that play slots.
I don't know.
Speaking of that, I order fucking room service, right?
It's Super Bowl weekend.
I fucking order room service and the lady goes, okay, just to let you know, it's going
to be like 90 minutes.
Is that okay?
And I go, no, it's horrific.
It's horrific.
I'm hungry now.
But I know it's not you.
I go, it's the corporation that runs this place is trying to run a skeleton crew so
they can save a little bit of money so they can go out and go buy a bigger yacht.
And you know what the lady said on the phone?
She goes, thank you.
Anyway, so where do we go from here?
Oh, I forgot.
I went to one Super Bowl party.
I went to the Shaq one.
I think that was over at the win, I believe.
And we went over there. And I thought it was a DJ. It was
Shaq. The fucking guy was going nuts. Speaking of like, how the hell do you have that energy
at that age? He was up there like, he had like, like 11 in the morning energy and we
got over there like midnight. It was pretty frigging amazing Unfortunately, it started like raining and stuff
So I saw like there was like, you know, I did the red carpet was fucking hilarious
They were like I'm like, well, you're at the shack DJ big top Chris circus party
You know, what are you? What are you excited about me?
party you know what are you what are you excited about me like I'm 55 and I have ear plugs I should have been in bed like an hour ago
um anyway yeah I felt I went there and I immediately felt like I was 30 years too
old for the event so we didn't stay too long but you know if you do go out to
Vegas I'm not gonna lie like that party they
went all out they had like all kinds of like you know I don't know what it is
just stuff to look at some woman on like stilts like 30 feet in the air with
this giant fucking dress I felt bad for it because it was fucking freezing out and
it was raining and everything and there was all these all these women you
could see they just spent hours getting ready
and then it just started raining,
and they weren't leaving.
They were still going, Shaq was going nuts,
he was DJing, all the young kids like all of that shit,
and they weren't leaving,
and I'm immediately going like,
I'm gonna catch a cold out here,
I gotta get out of here,
and I was just like,
Bill, you're fucking old, go home.
So we had these VIP things.
We were working our way all the way into the party
and it just kept getting louder and louder and louder.
And I finally turned around and like we were trying
to get into the club and we had like the bands to get into the club
And it was just getting louder and louder and more like packed with people and I finally turned around to Kenny and I go
Why are we going in there? He goes I don't know
And I just go you want to get out of here?
And he goes, yeah.
So we turn around and I thought,
Versey and Mike were gonna also want to,
I thought that they were gonna want to stay.
And I was like, you guys want to get out of here?
And they were like, yeah, yeah, let's get out of here.
Just a bunch of old dads.
So we fucking like the movie, right?
So we ended up walking out of there,
which is good because it created fucking four more spaces for young people to get young people. You go in there. That's your fucking thing. We're old. We got to get out
of here. So we ended up getting out of there. I will say I did see this. I saw this woman
like there was so many beautiful women there, but I saw this woman just an absolute fucking 11
Absolutely fucking gorgeous and she was trying to get up on the stage
And the security guy was going no no and her vibe was like what do you mean?
No, like look at me look at me and the guy's looking at he's just like no you can't and
She was like beside herself.
And she turned around.
I think I saw her first loss in life.
You know what I mean?
And a reminder of me of like George Foreman
always tells that story of when Ali knocked him down
in the thriller in Manila.
He said years later, he goes, you know what's funny. He's like I could have got up
I just had never been there before so I didn't know how that was like the beautiful woman version of that
It was fucking I
Almost if she wasn't so beautiful, I would have felt bad for
Because it's just like I mean oh my god. I mean what okay?
You're gonna ask for 900 things this weekend and 899 of them are going to fucking happen. So anyway, so we ended up leaving there. But
if you get a chance, I guess he does it every year at the Super Bowl. It's a fucking, it
was a great party. It's just like, like as I mentioned, I was 30 years too old for it.
So anyway, let's, let's, let's talk to Super Bowl here I've run my
yep long enough here all right oh Billy's got the reads to read here two
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So anyways, let's talk about the Super Bowl, Super Bowl.
Your Kansas City Chiefs against your San Francisco 49ers.
I couldn't believe the line all week.
It was like plus two and a Kansas city, plus two and a half, Kansas city plus two went down to one and a half at one point.
And the whole weekend I'm going like Kansas city is just going to win this fucking game.
The Kansas city. Okay. They're the fucking best there is.
They know how to
fucking win. The 49ers have yet to have a good game. They should have kicked the
shit out of the Packers. They didn't. They had to come from behind to beat them.
They should have handled the Lions. They didn't. They had to come from behind way
down to beat them. You're not gonna go down on the fucking chiefs and come back and beat these guys.
You're just not. You're not. So Billy fucking buried the chiefs. Buried the chief. Everybody
you're fucking Tony Roma, all these guys just blow Patrick my arms. He's picking you the
winner every week. He's picking you the winner every week. I mean at the end of the game where he's like
he's a great, he's Jordan, he's not Jordan. He's not Jordan. I wouldn't even say Tom Brady's
the greatest of all time. I like, I'll go with that argument but I would, but you're
going to take Joe Montana out of it? And just because one person has more,
it's not Joe Montana's fault, the 49ers got Steve Young
and they fucking traded him to Kansas City.
They didn't, he would have kept winning.
I think it was a stupid fucking move.
I still think that was a stupid move.
Anyway, so I buried the chiefs.
I never gamble. I rarely gamble and it's the biggest bet Anyway, so I buried the chiefs.
I never gamble. I rarely gamble, and it's the biggest bet
I've ever made in my life.
I put a thousand bucks down on the chiefs
to make $9.09 in 10 cents.
And I was like, this is perfect, all right?
This is perfect.
Either the fucking 49ers win,
and you know, cause that's who I was rooting for I was rooting for them the whole fucking game and if they don't win then I win money you know what
I mean I always have to go for like the underdog right so we show up right? We had seats in the chief's end zone and and I immediately loved how they
the chief's end zone that was a nod to like the original Super Bowl one and they had the
way they colored the end zone I believe it looked like NFL films. I'm like, holy shit, that's so fucking cool.
And it was the first Super Bowl in Las Vegas
and the greatest stadium is amazing.
It was funny that we were in a fucking,
we were in a dome and they still did a flyover.
You know the NFL, they're not gonna let one dime roll off the fucking table.
You guys know the military, they fucking pay to do that.
That is a paid commercial.
The NFL acts like we're supporting the troops and how about a round of applause for this
guy?
He's in the Coast Guard.
He caught a drug dealer off the coast of San Diego this weekend.
Like that is a paid advertisement.
They pay for that.
And they get everybody standing up and clapping for the veteran and all of that fucking shit.
Just know the NFL is making money off of that guy.
So they do his fucking stupid flyover. And then they, I don't know what, the fucking
game goes to start. And the 49ers defense is playing out of their fucking minds. And
Patrick Mahomes, he's the Georgia, he looked like shit. He looked like shit.
And they kept stopping him.
At first, while 49ers drive down the field
and then they fumble, it's like, oh no.
I remember seeing that going, oh fuck, here come the Chiefs.
Chiefs go fucking three and out.
49ers come back down the field.
Not gonna be able to remember the whole fucking game.
But the 49ers defense was playing amazing and they were
essentially, they essentially sacked Patrick Mahomes three times but he
started running so he went like one yard over the fucking you know line of
scrimmage so counted as a run. But Bosa and all of those guys were just all up
in the fucking backfield. It was amazing. Pacheco's first fumble of the year,
I mean, they were just, they showed up.
But what kept happening to the fucking 49ers,
they kept taking false starts and shit
and they would get involved in first and long,
second and long, and then they would go to the air
and they were having Brock Purdy do it
instead of Christian McCaffrey.
And I was thinking to myself going like,
that's fucking stupid
I don't give a fuck that it's first and 15
You know second and 17 whatever the hell it is
They need to give him the ball I immediately started thinking of Mike Martz not giving you know Marshall Falk the fucking ball
In Super Bowl 36 the last one that I had been to
the fucking ball in Super Bowl 36, the last one that I had been to.
And basically, you know, it was 10 to nothing.
Patrick had that horrific fucking interception.
I think he overthrew Travis Kelsey.
I think that's who he was going for.
Because the 49er that intercepted it,
there was another 49er behind him and then a
Kansas City Chief and I was just going like what the f- like it was the worst that first half is
the worst football I've seen Patrick Mahomes play and um and then Kelsey had one catch and
they were just shutting him down but they weren't turning into points and they were just shutting them down, but they weren't turning it into points and they were letting them hang around.
And I just, I knew what happened was gonna happen.
I'm like, I've just watched football too fucking long.
When you have a team that knows how to fucking win
with players as good as that,
against a team that is just sort of getting there,
like it just never ends well.
And it did not, they ended up coming back in fucking overtime. Fucking
overtime dude. And went on to win another one. They win their third. Patrick Mahomes
wins third. Automatic, automatic. You're in the fucking hall of fame. Three Super Bowl championships. So congratulations to them. As much as the
offense played like, well, I mean, the 49ers defense. And I have to be honest with you,
the Pac-Man home should not have been the fucking MVP of that game. It should have been somebody
on defense. Both defenses, the Kansas City Chiefs defense played great. And the offenses were pretty, were pretty anemic for most of the fucking game.
But, yeah, they just, I don't know, they just, they, that was just a classic one team
knowing how to win and the other team, you know, not knowing how to put the other one away and
Dude like I was I could like Kenny was laughing at me. He goes you're rooting against your money. I was like I don't give a fuck
I want to see the 49ers win it. I just wanted to see him
you know, I
Loved watching them win in the 80s,
you know, with Montana and all of those guys and in that classic uniform and everything.
And it was also annoying me that they were like, they're just so trying to make Kansas
City a dynasty. Like they said, you know, teams that have won three Super Bowls in five years.
And they said five years because that's how long
it took Kansas City to do it.
You know, within five years.
And they showed the New England Patriots.
We won three and four years.
So they started grading on a fucking curve
to try and sell me that the Chiefs are a dynasty.
It's like, you're not a fucking dynasty.
You won, then you fucking lost to Tampa Bay,
then you didn't even fucking make it, and then you won two more. What you are, what you're looking
at is the team of the decade. That is a big fucking difference than a dynasty. It isn't. Three in a row. That's
what the fucking, that's what the requirement was. You had to win at least,
at least three in a row to be considered a dynasty. And what are they doing?
For money, for money, they just keep lowering the fucking standards.
I saw before they even won the Super Bowl, this lady was saying, well, winning all those
AFC championships, that counts.
They are a dynasty.
You could argue that they are a dynasty.
It's just, and then my buddy goes like, all right, so with the Buffalo Bills They won four AFC championships in a row with they a fucking dynasty
Speaking of that the Cowboys Cowboys one back to back then the 49ers and then the Cowboys one again
They weren't considered a dynasty
They were team of the decade
but now now you know I
Remember when the Patriots won
But now, now you know, I remember when the Patriots won three and four in the early 2000s. That's when they first started that bullshit.
Is that a dynasty?
You could say, you could say that's a dynasty.
Yeah, you could.
It isn't.
Now it's three and five.
I don't know.
The whole thing is fucking weird.
Anyway, and they also didn't bring up the Patriots, we won three and five.
We won three and four, and we won three and five when we won our next three.
It's like we won in 14, 16, and 18.
Right?
Broncos won, and then the Eagles beat us.
So there's three and five.
I didn't even see them on that fucking list
It's so stupid. Anyway
Like the last dynasty I think it was the Lakers they won three in a row
I mean they bought them of course. That's what the fucking Lakers do
The most annoying franchise ever fucking LeBron James bitching that they need to do something.
It's like, dude, they have you and you have Anthony Davis.
Like what is the fucking problem?
The problem is you guys, it's not the fucking organization.
I mean, how many more guys do you fucking need?
Anyway, the Yankees, 98, 99, 2000, and they wanted 96.
Obviously the Chicago Bulls.
It was one of these deals where basically, like if you looked at Michael Jordan,
which is fucking hilarious that Tony Romo goes like, he's the Jordan.
He's a good, yeah, they good, they just throw out this shit.
This is a dynasty, he's Jordan, all of this shit
to make you feel like you're watching something
that you're not even fucking watching.
What you're watching is the team of the decade.
And you're watching one of the great quarterbacks
of all time, I would not argue that,
but it's like he's the Jordan Tom Brady
has seven fucking titles, mom's ain't gonna win seven his coach is
already fucking 80 years old it's not
gonna happen
Andy Reed's gonna fucking retire and
it's just it's just it's not gonna
happen stop fucking telling me this
shit's gonna happen I know it isn't
everybody knows it isn't. Everybody knows it isn't. So anyway, I don't know. Like when
Jordan played the amount of fucking great players that never got a ring, and it doesn't
even make sense, they just didn't get a fucking ring, that's a fucking dynasty.
Is you win so fucking much that people that would have won don't.
Like they go fucking like no, I don't know how else to explain it.
It's like think of the bulls in the 90s.
If Michael Jordan didn't leave to go play fucking baseball, the Rockets don't win.
And this is another thing too, like the only play, Akeem Alajawan and those guys are the
only ones who got rings when the, when the, when the bulls dominated in an entire fucking
decade won six and eight fucking years or the Pittsburgh Steelers won four Super Bowls in six fucking years. Like nobody in the fucking AFC
nobody was going to get a few just didn't get a ring they shut it down. But
anyway having said that congratulations on the Kansas City Chiefs winning there.
I think that was their fourth Super Bowl.
And I actually, I do like the Chiefs, but like, you know, all of that Tony Romo shit
that he was saying, that's like, it's just, they're just selling the game is all that
they're doing. Like, was that the great? I've never seen's like it's just they just they're just selling the game is all that they're doing like was that the great
I've never seen anything like he had just sought
Somebody did that last year just stop with this shit. So anyway
Yeah, they went ahead and won and I
So fucking funny like the
I was so fucking funny like the, when they would show Taylor Swift at the game, people were like booing her and stuff.
I don't know, I thought all of that was funny.
I just have to say as a, as somebody in show business, she is an absolute fucking gangster.
Dude, she put out a movie, she didn't even have a distributor, she's like, I don't fucking
need you.
I can put this out myself and I gotta tell you something.
One of the biggest things that scares the suits in my business is an artist that knows his or her worth and she does and an artist that actually pays attention
To the contracts and all of that stuff and starts to learn how to read that stuff and starts to realize
How bad these pieces of shit steal from all of us
Double dip, triple dip, quadruple dip on stuff, side deals and all of this stuff.
I mean, it is, look, my business is no different than whatever business you're in.
Like the level of, I would say of the ten commandments, the number one thing,
commandment that is broken every day is stealing. I guess lying and stealing kind of goes hand in hand.
But it's in the level of fucking stealing
and it's not even prosecuted is insane.
As far as like white collar crime,
it's just, it's absolutely fucking out of control
and none of these politicians step in to do it.
They always step in on like bullshit.
You know what I mean?
Like look what, look, look what the fucking government
gets concerned about, steroids and baseball.
And they can get all fucking, you know, upset about that or like
fucking comedians, you know, shit that they say on stage or like the classic one to me
is remember at the beginning of the pandemic, you know, when they said the pandemic was
coming, we're like, oh God, this is going to be another SARS.
This isn't going to happen.
And there was that one guy that bought like $17,000 with a hand sanitizer.
And he had it in his fucking garage.
And he like, you know, increased the price by 300% or whatever.
And these fucking pieces of shit on Fox and CNN, they're fucking going off on this.
How could you do that?
People are dying.
This is fucking awful.
Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.
But meanwhile, you know, big pharmaceutical, I know I've said this before, but maybe you
missed the last podcast.
I feel like it needs to be said.
Big pharmaceutical is charging like 465 bucks per pill.
If you have like leukemia, they made like profits of like $60 billion.
And these fucking assholes don't say a word because they advertise on their channels and they're protecting their fucking money
Right. They're all pieces of shit. So anyways, I mean as much as people don't like her showing up the football games and them cutting to her or whatever
You know what I mean? I
Just as a performer, I mean just to watch somebody actually win
against these pieces of shit is, um,
it's fucking amazing.
It really is amazing.
They used to have rules about like monopolies and stuff like that.
And like, I gotta tell you, to have one fucking organization, you know, own the
venues, own the ticketing service, own the parking and all of that type of stuff. It's just like,
it just becomes like, wait, what are we doing here? This is still a free market.
Anyway, anyway, so anyway,
Anyway, yeah, so the game ends, it goes into flagging overtime, dude. And you knew the 49ers needed to score a touchdown.
I didn't realize that time could run out in overtime.
I didn't know about that.
That was pretty fucking exciting.
Like somebody said, oh yeah, they're eating up the clock.
And I was thinking, like, what are you eating up the clock? We I was thinking, like, eating up the clock, what are we talking about?
The Chiefs get their possession too.
They're not going to run out the clock.
I didn't realize that they could run out the clock.
There was a lot of drama.
And I don't know.
I'll tell you what was that big play was when Mahomesomes when they called the option there, it literally ran
like the fucking option and he kept the keeper and they didn't fucking secure the edge there.
And he fucking ran down the field and slid just shit like that man.
And here's the thing, you just knew that they were going to make the play, you knew that
they were going to execute stuff like that. And all these assholes screaming about Travis Kelsey,
yelling at fucking Andy Reed or whatever.
I fucking love that shit.
That shit gives me goosebumps.
Like people wanted to win that bad
and they start fucking yelling at each other and stuff.
And everybody who doesn't play
gets all fucking bent out of shape about it.
You know, who doesn't, the fucking people that do of shape about it. You know who doesn't?
The fucking people that do it.
They understand where it's coming from.
And I remember that year when Brady, oh god, when he was on the fucking Tampa Bay Buccaneers,
so brutal to watch, but he still rooted for him.
They were playing like dog shit on something like Monday night game in like November.
Brady was getting sacked and pressured and all that and they went to the sideline and
he was fucking screaming at his offensive line.
And they're just looking at him like this is fucking Tom Brady, he's got six fucking
rings, I mean I guess we gotta listen to that guy.
I really felt like that was like a turning point in the season where, you know,
when somebody as good as that is fucking yelling at you
or showing that level of passion,
I just, you're like, all right, what am I doing?
I need to try to attempt to get to this person's level.
I mean, look, Travis maybe didn't have to bump into him.
But Andy Reed's also not a little guy.
He could take it.
He's a tough fucking guy.
But I was also, I love Andy Reed.
I was really happy for him, man.
That guy, you know, when he was with the Eagles, he would always get to the NFC championship
game or whatever.
He just couldn't fucking win it. So he was getting that thing
You know when somebody can't fucking win it, you know who loves that?
Losers and they cannot wait the fucking guy. You can't get it done. He's fucking do the dude
You can't win the big one. It's like you can't win the big one. Oh, yeah, let me ask you this
Are you winning the big one in your life?
Huh?
Is that what the fuck you're doing?
Anyway
Speaking of that last night when I came home
Well after the game we like walk out and
In my buddy Mike's a huge fucking 49ers fan and I felt, you know, I felt bad because
I'd been there as a fan.
I went to the, when the Patriots withdrew Bledsoe and Bill Paa sells when we played the
Green Bay Packers, that one in New Orleans, I went to that Super Bowl.
And there was a chance there where we looked like we were you know gonna go blow for blow
And then they returned that kickoff after the fucking half and that was kind of it
We lost control of the game. I still remember
Walking out of that stadium like going down those ramps
And just being like
those ramps and just being like the fucking letdown as a fan, like when you lose a championship game and seeing the Green Bay Packer fans skipping down the thing, those fat cheese eating
fucks skipping down the thing.
I remember looking at him thinking like am I ever gonna feel that feeling because at that point the fucking Celtics would DOA you know and the Patriots you know I mean we didn't even play in a real foot like like the
reason why I like the Buffalo Bills is because of their stadium because they were the same like
that does not look like a pro football stadium. And the Patriots played in Sullivan Stadium, and it just didn't look like a pro stadium.
It looked like a division one college,
but not even a big program.
It just kind of looked like,
because it held like 60,000 people
where those Alabama and all of them,
even back then held like fucking 80 or something like that.
So I mean, it looked like Virginia,
like West Virginia's football stadium or something like that. So I mean, it looked like, you know, Virginia, like West Virginia's
football stadium or something. So, um, yeah, that was like 90s. That was early nine, January,
February 97. I just remember thinking like, fuck, am I ever going to feel that feeling
again? Cause the Celtics is just over. Len bias died and then Reggie Lewis died and it
was just, then it was the whole free agency thing and
you know
Danny Angel wasn't there putting it back together. It just looked like I
Mean Ray Bork. It was right around time Ray Bork had to leave the Bruins to go win a cup in Colorado
He wins the Stanley Cup
And then brings it back to Boston to remind us what it looked like.
I know his heart was in the right place, but it was just like, ugh, it was just a lot of
that shit.
So I felt, you know, I felt bad for him.
So we ended up, we went back over to ballies and
We just got some appetizers and they had some really good booze there, so I bought him some top shelf shit
For so That's the thing dude. It's just a fucking that's why I love sports just watching
How much people gave a fuck.
And I also, I ran into Al Madrigal,
one of my great friends in this business,
and he was like, he was so amped up for the game.
I didn't run into him after the game.
He was sitting someplace else and anyway,
I will say, I definitely think the 49ers will be back and I don't know.
I'm such a nerd for the Super Bowl that I'm always sitting there going like the team that
had the most gaudiest record in the Super Bowl first was the Steelers.
They were 4-0.
And then all of a sudden from 81 to 94 San Francisco 49ers went to five Super
Bulls and won all five. They were five and oh and that was for the longest time
the godliest Super Bowl record. Giants have a good one. What are they? They're 4-1. But they were 5-0.
And now they've lost 3. Now they're 5-3.
That's a fucking... I was talking to my buddy about that ago.
You guys either go 6-2 and you're 1 behind the Chiefs,
or the Chiefs level up to 4-0.
chiefs level up to four and oh.
Now I could definitely see, I don't know, how many more do you think the chiefs got in them? It's weird.
It's a quick fucking window.
And then all of a sudden people get old, people retire, people take money
elsewhere. But I will say for the chief's organization
to lose a guy like Tyreek Hill
and win two more without him, it's pretty fucking amazing.
It's pretty fucking amazing.
It's just a shame, like all the overhype of it.
And then, you know, all that other dumb shit
where the NFL's trying to make more fucking money
is annoying to to listen to.
I don't understand why you can't just say what is happening.
Why do you have to like over,
why does everything have to be so overhyped?
Is it because there's nine million channels
and streaming services and young kids sit around
watching people play video games?
They don't even play video games.
You watch somebody play video games?
It's fucking weird. So anyway
Thank you to bet MGM for this weekend though. We had such a good time. Thank you to all our fans that came out to the show
So really really cool vibe of people in there was a couple of drunks
One guy down front who just wouldn't shut the fuck up and just interrupted the entire fucking show. What was hard was no one could really hear him but we could
hear him. And then classic that guy's personality at the end of the show he's
like oh yeah and we like shook his hand and stuff he's like oh just like busting
busting balls and like he felt like he was like part of the show. You know what's
funny I just ended up feeling bad for the woman that was with him.
And I'm not going to lie to you. You could, at certain points, you saw the sadness
on her face being with that guy, but that was also her love for him.
Where it's just like, why are you doing this? Why are you making an ass out of this? Why can't he just be like this?
Anyway,
oh, it's Valentine's Day everybody. Valentine's Day.
Who are the fucking Sherries Berries
is never gonna come back, are they?
They're never coming back.
I used to love doing
those fucking Sherries berries. They just... Do they even make them anymore? Do they
get bought out? Anyway, I gotta to wait for the right band to go there.
You know what I mean?
Because I don't, I mean I like you two and everything but I know like it's going to be
somebody like, I don't know, like Judas Priest.
Like something that's like a, like, you know what's funny is I really like you too
but there was just such a like a social thing when I was growing up as far as what bands you liked
what bands you didn't like and um like if you were into priests it was almost like this this
unwritten rule that you couldn't like you too.
What's funny is you know the guys in Judas Priest
probably liked you too.
So I got on board with you two really late,
really fucking late.
Like I didn't get like that BB King shit.
I did what I did till love came around. I didn't understand whatever that BB King shit. I did what I did till love came around.
I didn't understand whatever the fuck that was.
Rattlingham, I didn't get that.
I liked the one in the name of love, I liked that one.
And then there was those ones in the early 90s,
I liked those ones.
And I was like, I finally was just going like,
can you stop being like, I'm into metal
and just admit that this is a really fucking great
Band and then I always loved Larry Mullin, Jr.
so
They're playing this sphere. It's just like I don't know. I just got the kids and everything I can't fucking get out here and I know
My I think Dean went to see him there. He said it was fucking amazing, so I
Don't know.
I do have to go to a show there. As much as I think this, this fear fucking annoys me.
It's like, isn't it enough that you see in U2?
Like you got to have like, you know,
or like be a fucking man and just drop some acid
and see all of that shit.
Instead of having like this fucking you know flight simulator acid trip that they get or if even if you crash
you don't die I don't I know I'm being fucking grumpy old Billy all right I should wrap this
fucking podcast up uh...
yeah alright because i'll i'll end up doing reads and that'll be the hour
so it's congratulations to uh... the kansas city chiefs uh...
once again uh...
i've seen it just time and time again just the great ones know
How to fucking win even if they haven't like a bad fucking game or whatever you just knew like
I mean something for as much as people fucking, you know, bitch about my homes and everything like
That's the first bad game. I've seen him have and it was only for a half. I
Still don't think he should have been fucking MVP.
You can't play the way he played in the first fucking half in your MVP of the game.
It's the fucking chiefs kept defense, kept you in that game.
Somebody on defense should have fucking won that.
But whatever, it is what it is.
There you go, Super Bowl 58, Kansas City Chiefs
in sudden death over time.
Congratulations to the 49ers, an incredible year.
And I'd like to see them come back and win.
It's a fucking great organization.
All right, that's it.
That's the podcast, go fuck yourselves and I'll check
it on you on on Thursday.