Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 4-20-20

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

Bill rambles with Al Jourgensen of Ministry about his new single, and a pop-in with Les Claypool.

All right. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, April 20th, 2020. What's going on? How are you? If you're just listening to the audio, this probably just sounds like the normal podcast, but if you guys are on the YouTube channel, I finally filmed one. I have a very special guest on the podcast here during these weird times, whatever the fuck they're saying. We have Al Jorgensen from Ministry who has a new single coming out called Alert Level that, when's that come out Al? I think Friday. Friday? So that's 24th, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Yeah, 24th, April 24th. Comes out April 24th. So, you look like you're in the fucking Rock

and Roll Hall of Fame. You got all these guitars hanging behind you. Did you just get nominated for something? No, this is not why I'm here. I'm here because I'm working. I'm in the studio. I'm doing a new album, man. And this is like, I can just grab one and play when I'm recording. So this is not like some showcase thing. This is a practical, functional thing. That's awesome because in my house, those would be all hanging on the wall and I wouldn't be able to play any of them. The classic dad weekend guitar player. So I always wondered about that. You guys who actually pro musicians and stuff like that. So you have all of that out in front of you. I resent that. I was a pro musician. You're not? No, I'm an artist. I put things

together. It's just like, you know, like I think like cooks get all the credit, all the celebrity chefs, but like the prep cooks are the ones that do the real deal. Those are the ones that make it so they can do their creation. And so look, man, I'm just, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm a celebrity chef, but I got my prep cooks and they work their ass off. Oh, all right. Yeah, the prep cook is sort of the verbally abused wife in the relationship. Yes. I remember from my days in the restaurant, they would always be getting yelled at. They was never quick enough. I was one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. All right. So you know what? You're always working. Last time I saw you, I saw you at the LA Forum on

the last Slayer show, their farewell show was you, Primus. And, and I can't believe I missed what's his face doing all the Panterra songs. Phil. Selmo. And Selmo. Yeah. I missed it. They played such a quick set. I was back there saying hello. And then I came running out. I forget as I ran out, somebody else came running in going, did you see that? Yeah, yeah. I was like, no, I missed it. There's a whole tour was awesome, but it was like a quick fucking the parking lot before the show. It was like, it was real quick. And then it's like, what happened? And then you go into the show and you don't know what the fuck happened. But either way, Phil just like set the stage with this kinetic energy of just

like, it was like a quick fucking the parking lot. It was really cool. I mean, I think that that was probably smart, because I would imagine he's probably setting up for a bigger tour or something like that. Maybe him and Rex get back together. I hope so. I hope so. Those guys are golden. Yeah, I kind of do too. So let's talk about as I move, I always, my back's fucked up. So I got I got to sit like this here. So what, what, um, we did this first single, like how does it, how is it done now when you go to, because you're still an album guy, but is it now you got to like sort of just see if you come up with 10 new songs, is it better to release one at a time now or do you put it all out at once or just give the teaser? No, I pay no attention to formats. But the thing

is, is that he's just how you look so mainstream. That's really surprising. I'm kidding. Shit. Hold on. Let me get my vape stick. Okay. That can be cool. All right. There we go. I'm missing the malls of America. So I need to see you. So no, no, I don't care about format. But what the thing is, we set out to do an album and we were trying to get it done by the time we went on this, I don't know, whatever 90th anniversary tour of something we did in a galaxy far away a long time ago in July. And we were all set for that and we rehearsed for that. But in the meanwhile, we started the new record and we did a couple songs and this was one of them. And, and we actually played it rehearsal, we were going to like actually sneak it into like the the nostalgia tour of July

and sneak this one in. But it came out really damn good. Yeah, we just kept recording, which is what we're doing now. I mean, quarantine to me, I mean, the only bad thing about quarantine to me is just the lack of hockey. But other than that, I mean, it's just, it's just what we do. We just I was, I was going to ask you how you were surviving because you're like one of the biggest hockey, specifically Blackhawks fans. In fact, most of the time when I talk to you, you talk hockey. So how are you handling this, this void? Well, it's actually been okay so far, but I'm running out of choices. Like I watched the 72 World Cup. I've watched, I've watched all the old stuff on all that. And it's getting sparse. Now they're doing like, playoff games between Calgary and Edmonton

in 96. And I'm just like, I can't do this, man. I saw a great documentary. I can't remember the name. It was on Bob Probert. Oh, 24 for the Hawks and Redwinds, penalty minutes leader, just like a great fighter and cocaine addict that occasionally scores. And gold score. And gold score. 29 goals and could beat the shit out of the whole league. I mean, can you imagine having that as your title is like, not only did I score 29 goals, but I beat the shit out of the whole league. That is almost MVP worthy. It's an amazing, one of the coolest things is when he makes the All-Star team and you know, this was like the second golden age of the NHL. So in the locker room is like Messier, Gretzky, Mario Lemieux and all of that stuff. And Eisenman tells, well, I guess Mario was

with the, the Wales conference, but all the guys in the Campbell conference, all those huge, huge guys. Eisenman, they had like audio of him doing the eulogy at Probert's funeral and said the funny thing is that they all wanted to meet Probert. So they all said, Hey, can you introduce me to the big fella? Because they not only they respected him, but I, my head, I'd be like, maybe I can get the guy to like me a little bit. So if he does decide to punch me in the face, it's just sort of a jab. And not one of those haymakers, but it was just like, you should see it, man, because it kind of combines a lot of shit that probably we're into. It's like hockey, total rebel, motorcycle guy, like WE, WWE, because he really enjoyed, I got to meet him one time.

Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. At a Hawks game, when he was like an alumni that came like, what we call the backstage area, which is like this little bar at Hawks games that, you know, like for ex players and stuff that I'm allowed to go in. And basically, he told me like, it really was the WWE before the WWE were like, he knew he had to put on a show, almost like getting a goal was like a cherry on the Sunday that night. The main thing was to get under the heads and skin of the other team and beat the crap out of somebody. And it's old school stuff. I mean, obviously, you know, a slap shot fan, I'm sure you are. It kind of brings you back to those days. But yeah, Proby was one of a kind fan. He was serious. That was the golden age. I thought that

was the golden age and hockey as far as like, there was never an era where the balance was perfect of some of the greatest goal scorers of all time and some of the greatest enforcers of all time. Like he's definitely he's the Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux of enforcers, like he's, he's the benchmark of them. I think as far as what I've watched on, you know, there's a bunch of documentaries about it, but that's one of the the best ones because it also gets into him as like a dad, you know, once he got cleaned up and everything like it even seemed when he was like using his stuff, he was just a really like a big teddy bear until he went out like laced him up and stuff. He just seemed like a great guy. He wasn't the kind of guy that was like, if you met him at

a bar like I did, like he wouldn't like want to start a fight and be ridiculous. But he understood his role. Right. But but really you can't go to like he was the like primate for that, the template. Gordy Howe, for an enforcer and a goal scorer. So that that guy, you can't you can't put Probert in that, but like still he was pretty good. I gotta ask the question then. Gordy Howe up against Probert. I can't see Gordy losing though, because it's like trying to beat up your dad or something. Well, Probert would beat the crap out of him. Only after Howe scored three or four goals on his line defending him. So it would be like a, okay, I won the fight, but we lost the game kind of thing. Gordy Howe never looked old to me. He just started looking more and more like

Lee Marvin. Gordy Howe was like William Burroughs to me. It's like I met him too at a signing. I actually went to like a hockey signing where you line up like cattle and you have to pay five bucks to like get an autograph. But like, I love what a hockey geek you are. This is so cool. I know I'm such a hockey geek, man. But because I used to play goalie. So I used to have projectiles flinged at me at like, well, back in the high school days, about 80 miles an hour. And still, it's just like, ah, stop, what are you doing, man? It's like, this is no way to make a living. And so I went into music, but originally hockey goalie was my thing. But like, I understand like the intensity of the fucking game. And Gordy Howe was like,

you know, everyone talks about all the flashy players now, but he was just like this guy that was, he looked 60 when he was 20. And he looked 60 when he was 60. It was kind of a weird thing. And William Burroughs was the same way where he looked 80 when he was 20. And he still looked 80 when he was 80. So I got to tip the cap to people like that. Well, we were talking one time in a comic, we're joking about that, how old people looked back in the day. Like I watch a lot of me TV and stuff. And like, I was just, I was looking at, you know, I watched The Hustler. Okay. And I was looking at George C. Scott. He looked like he was in his fifties in that movie. And that, that guy, he was like 33. And then I look at a picture myself

when I was 33. I looked like I, you know, it just got out of high school with skim and rocks. I looked like this dope, like George C. Scott looked like he had been around the world like five times, had seen it all, and already had like sage advice. It's unbelievable how fucking old. Is it just, I don't, is it moisturizing and just stayed inside playing video games? I don't know what it is, but like people look fucking old as shit back then. You're onto the moisturizing thing. I'm really under the jeans thing. I'm into CRISPR. I think CRISPR is going to solve this corona thing. And I think it's going to solve the people that look old fast and the people that look old when they're too young. Either way, I think it's genetic, but like, yeah, George C. Scott

looked the same in Dr. Strange Club as he did in Patton. And they had to do makeup to look older in Patton. And he still looks the same. I mean, there's a 20 year difference where he didn't age. And I go back to William Burroughs with that. And I think heroin kept him pickled to the point where he missed 40 years of his like genetic life aging. So where he was still 60 at 60, when he was 60 at 20, I don't know. It's a kind of weird thing that maybe science needs to like check into. Oh, I have noticed that people who really abused heroin early in their life are like shredded into their 70s. They have like abs. Pickled. They're all cut. We're pickled. Is that what it is? We're pickled. If you put a cucumber and vinegar, it'll stay good for a long

time. You put a 20 year old on heroin and vinegar will stay good for a long time. Wait a minute. What are we promoting here? I think I think we're going the wrong way. I was supposed to be promoting your new single. And now we're promoting like, listen, you can do your Botox, you can do your lotion, but I'm telling you where it's at. You're brushing your teeth and you like what you look like. Start doing heroin because you're going to look that way to your 70. At the end of the day, that's probably more important than my new single is we'll be keeping people alive, which is more than this administration's doing. So I'm doing my part. I actually have empathy for anybody in political office right now. Cause dude, I mean, I would even think you,

you being a band leader, trying to just get four other guys to all pull in the same direction. Like as much as Trump is talking about like alluding to the fact that he bangs models while there's a pandemic going on, which is just like a WWE character as much as he's doing that. Like I'm finally seeing like this people getting construction done on my street. I'm finally seeing the construction workers wearing masks. This is the hilarious thing. The guy's got the mask down around his neck. The other guy has it up on his head and they're still within six feet shooting the shit. And I just think there's, there's too many people that choose their own comfort in the moment versus the good of everybody in the long run in like, I don't think a Democrat or Republican,

I think anybody could, could get anybody. There's just, there's too many, what are these fucking conspiracy theorists? Which I am one. They're out there, they're out there protesting, having to fucking stay home. And it's like the government wants you on the wheel. They want you running. If you're not making any fucking money, you don't have any money. They can't exploit you anymore. They don't want you at home. Hey man, here, check out this David Ike video I just saw like two days ago in my quarantine playlist. This is a really good one. Now David Ike, I don't know if you know him. Do you know this guy? This English guy. I'm very limited. I'm very limited. He's like a big football star in England, you know, like on division one team, Premier League, this and that.

And then he went off his rocker, as they say, like 20 years ago. And, and he brought up some do you remember the name of that? I'll send it to Bill. Yeah, we're going to send it to you, but either way, it's just like, yeah, okay, this is a way for government to control. It's like a trial run to see like how we control people in the event of crisis and see how we can do it. So yeah, I'm in, I'm into conspiracy theories, but here's the deal. You don't need to do that. I mean, you do need to control if like there has to be some sort of control or else you just have seven billion people running around doing whatever the fuck they want to do. But, but, but Russia and Trump has basically made it so government what they say means nothing, what they

do means everything. And what we say and what our media pounces on is what they say and what they say is bullshit. All of this. Trump's right. It's all fake news. It's fake news from the media. It's fake news from him. It's fake news from everyone. You really have to start like putting together the pieces yourself. Yet, we have no education. So how are you supposed to like, figure out the filters on on processing all this information? If you don't, it's the perfect form for a meltdown, man. I have the answer. Oh, you stop watching it and you just put on me TV and you just act like it isn't happening. I'd never even heard of me TV until last week. And now that's all I've been watching. Maybe I'm desperate, but like that's it. Me TV is the thing, man. I'm just, I'm going back

to like when time seemed like normal, even though they weren't, they weren't, but like they seemed normal, right? I'm sitting there looking at LA watching Adam 12. They had an episode where for whatever reason 12 is what I've been watching. Did you see the one where they were at? This is awesome. Did you see the one where they were at LAX? Fucking hilarious. They're at LAX in the early seventies when it still was only one level. And for whatever reason, they see video of this guy breaking into a car and one of the lots. So then they get on like these police mopeds. I was like, why are those motorcycles so small? They were like the original mopeds and they ride over to go get those guys. And I'm just sitting there looking at like how quaint

LAX used to look, but then in my head, I'm going like, wait a minute, right? Like this is like four years after Martin Luther King was assassinated. Vietnam is going on and all that, but you're watching on TV. It's like, this was a simpler time in LA. Man, get into some of the old drag nets when they arrest psychedelic users. There's about three or four of those. Those are mind blowing. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Please go, go from Adam 12 to drag net. And this is like, this is like a continuance. This is like a rebirth of LA to me between once upon a time in Hollywood and then like being quarantined and having to watch old LA shows. I really feel more Angelino than I've ever felt in my life.

Well, watch, you watch Peter Gunn. I watched almost every episode of that. I have never seen a guy, like he gets knocked out every fucking episode. Like the CTE this guy must have had. And I'm talking like pistol to the back of the head every other fucking episode. I don't know. I totally got into that show. I got into 77 Sunset Strip for a while, and now I'm starting to move up to like maybe Maddox or something like that, because they have all of that shit on there. But lately I've been watching, yeah, Adam 12. What kills me is as long as I've been out here, I can never recognize where they are in LA, because it's just changed so much. I mean, I guess it was close to 50 years ago,

but the level of shit that they just, you know, Well, listen, when we get to like having to resort to watch all Manics reruns, then I think it's time to like lift the curfew. I think eventually what they're going to do is they'll get like a screening thing that's going to work, and then they're going to let people, you're going to have to have the right mask and gloves, and you'll just be able to fucking go to everybody just is going to, you know, walk around looking like they're ready to do surgery for a while. Yeah. I mean, they do that in Asia all the time, don't they? I remember in the 1980s, it's no different. It's okay. It's okay to wear gloves. Yeah. Shout out to Asian people. Like

they have been on point with this was glove and mask shit. And like the fucking anytime I see somebody, you know, where not wearing a mask, it's never that Asian people are just, if we would all do what the fuck they're doing, this shit would be over. Or at least it's the same thing they did during World War Two. They have to be extra exemplary citizens because of public perception. I feel bad for like the rap that they're getting because a few people sold pangolins and bats in a fucking market in Beijing, and they should just stop that. We don't have that here. We don't have that anywhere else. Just stop all the crazy like exotic game trading. And I think that will help. It's not going to solve it. But I think that that viruses come and go and now we need to deal

with this. But I think people need to be smart. I don't think protesting with Confederate flags and going, you know, don't tread on me freedom or die kind of shit. It's just like, that's the way to solve this. I know, but that's that's why I have empathy for any administration right now, because that all it takes is one of those fucking idiots to keep the thing going and to try to corral all of it. It's like, you know, it's like when you unbox something and they got those stupid peanuts in there, it's just over. It's going to be, they're going to get everywhere. And as much as you try to vacuum them all up, you're going to in six months from now, you're going to find one underneath your couch. I just put them on my butt at this point. I don't even care. I just want to

see if they spring something in my anal tract to start sticking them up there and see what happens. I mean, this anal peanut thing is just has to go. What is that to go? No, stop sending me peanuts. Oh, I thought you were saying that when I tried to eat them, I put them up my butt, I put them in my hair, made it Christmas tree. There's just too many peanuts. I have peanuts on every Amazon thing that comes to my house. I have peanuts coming literally out of my orifices bring them down to the fucking the local place and they'll take them that packs up shit. I'm supposed to drive to go drive my peanuts down to a local peanut thing. Okay, okay, I'll go online as soon as we're off the air. But I want to know where these peanut factories are because they send way too many

peanuts out. You just found my like one big I wasn't expecting to talk about this today, but I'm going to talk about it now. I'm pissed. These peanut things have to go. What are they? And they're a menace to your house to your home to I'm sure they're going to find a lot of other things wrong with them. Enough with the peanuts. They have to stop. Stop ordering shit, man. You're ordering too much shit. If you go to a fucking store, you don't get it. First of all, can we go back to the fact that when you said anal peanut, I actually thought that was a thing because there was kids putting drugs in a liquid form on like a fucking Q tip or something or tampon and sticking it in their ass and rave. So I figured, all right, maybe the peanut people caught onto that.

Sorry, that's just what I thought. I don't know. Yeah, it might be a conspiracy, but I think they're about two conspiracies too late, man. There's all sorts of fucking things that they're sending us that are like completely unhealthy and unwise and they still do it and we accept it. Okay, but I'm putting my foot down on peanuts right now because I think we've had enough other things sent to us that I don't think you have a choice. Your only choice is to stop ordering stuff and they know you need this stuff, Al. You need it. You need it, man. Why do you have all these fucking peanuts, man? Why do you keep ordering shit? Okay, then I think that we should all invest in 3D printers and get 3D printers sent to us and then we can print our own shit,

then we don't have to have it shipped. Just a thought. Wait a minute. If it's on a piece of paper, you don't need peanuts, right? I thought you were ordering something that they didn't want it to break. No, they put peanuts in everything, man. Everything. Everything. It's just like, what is wrong with you? I have never, this is like the greatest fucking rant ever. I've never seen like, of all the things they get upset with. No, I'm pissed. Yeah, okay. I was trying to tone it down. I'm trying to bring you back down here. Al, what's your favorite guitar on the wall? We'll get you off the peanuts subject here. Which one has the most hits in it? Your number one starter to start a series, set the fucking tone. Which ax that you're pulling

off the wall? I hate playing fucking guitar. I don't have a favorite. I mean, there's a bunch of things that do different things, but I actually have a favorite bass guitar. I'm more of a bass player. How do you like that? Yeah, I mean, if you could think of like Tom and Slayer, I'm more like the kind of singer bass player, dude, but like occasionally they make me play guitar and keyboards and stuff like that. So yeah, I don't have, you know what my favorite is? It's like having my music be known enough that like, Bill Burr calls me on a Sunday. That's my favorite part. Now I'm famous. No, no, no, dude, if I'm calling you, I don't know if you might have just got fired from your label or something. They're actually really happy with me right now,

because this new single, I just did this song that like, we're supposed to be doing an album and I was supposed to be getting it done by a like big July tour in the States. And that's not going to happen. But we got a couple songs done and I send it to them and just go like, look, you're not just sending me money and I'm just doing coke. I'm actually doing stuff. And so I sent them the songs and they went like, whoa, this song's awesome. And so this song gets released and I've got other songs. I mean, I'm gonna, now I don't know if our July tour is going to be done. I don't see how that's gonna happen unless if some some weird stuff happens, like for instance, like I thought the July tour would happen because Trump is such a man, baby, that he wants a Fourth of July parade

and his honor signifying triumph over COVID-19 Fourth of July parade. The tour started like July second or something. And so I figured he'd open it up to everyone so people could mass adore him on how he conquered the virus. I mean, I don't know what this guy's mind is at this point because I don't read four year olds that much. But like, that's the kind of thing that I thought. But then I see where it's just like, well, okay, we're gonna open, but nobody over a thousand people can be like brought out and Taylor Swift just canceled. I'm no Taylor Swift. You know, but I'm just saying it's just like nobody over a thousand and our tours were over a thousand. So I'm thinking like, whoa, that's weird. So I don't know what's going on. But either way, I'm just gonna stay in the

studio and I'm just gonna keep recording stuff and I'm just gonna keep doing good stuff and observing like social interactions and writing music about it and just taking the Polaroid snapshot of what's going on and hope for the best because that's all we can all do. Well, there you go. Well, you're staying productive. I know I get a kick out of Donald Trump. That's the only way I can look at it. I just like, this is like if Ron Burgundy was suddenly like president. I mean, that thing like, I don't believe you. I don't know what you're talking about. Good show. Good show, everybody. Good stuff all the way around. I just, I can't like, I can't watch CNN. I can't watch Fox News. I just can't, I can't fucking, you know, the other yesterday, I went for it every three days, we

go for a drive. I stay at the house every three days, we get in the car, we go for a drive. So go for a drive. What do you drive? What do I drive? I drive my wife. I don't know what, no, where do you drive? Because me and Liz, like we do like a Topanga Canyon and all the offshoots drive at least once, twice a week. Oh, we're, we're big valley people in Mulholland Drive. Yeah, we do Mulholland. Oh, all right. I'm surprised we have a quarantine drive together. Yeah, I go up there, you know, drive around. That's what we do. Yeah. So I've been doing that. And so we get on, we put the radio on and you know, at this point, who doesn't know what's going on in between every fucking song they got to bring up, you know, during these strange times, you know, we're going to be playing

music during, you know, these uncertain times, they just keep, I got like anxiety. I finally just shut it off. I was like, Nia, can they just fucking play music? I get it. It's uncertain. I get it. People are losing money. I get it. Old people are dying. I just wanted like five fucking minutes. I can't do anything about this shit. I'm trying to listen to some easy listening music and you're fucking telling me that the whole world economy is crashing between each one acting like you're my friend. It's like if I visited friends in the hospital who died in a cancer, I don't bring up their fucking cancer every 10 seconds. I just wanted to come by and say hello during your dying of pancreatic cancer. What are the nice flowers that you got? It would be nice to say goodbye to

Patrick Swayze, but what I don't understand is I've been doing this for like 30 years. I'm the chicken little of rock, man. The sky is always falling with me and yet we're still friends. Yeah, you just said like, I'm tired of this shit. But you know, I used to be you. I used to be you and I wore my friends out. They were like, dude, I can't listen to this Federal Reserve shit anymore. And I realized what I was doing was I was just saying a bunch of terrifying shit with no solution. And all they wanted to do was sit down and have a couple of beers and I had to stand back and be like, I am a fucking asshole. So I can't look at it like Trump, like this guy's a complete fucking asshole. And then look at the previous administration with Obama and like, if you really listen to the

people on the other side of those drone bombs, I mean, he exact, he wasn't exactly a fucking saint either. And then they're out doing the fucking speech door and making all their money too. So it's kind of like, they're all doing the same thing. They are all assholes. Yeah. I mean, you can go way back from starting. All right, let's go with just start with Truman, but I don't even get me started. I'm like the Grover Cleveland McKinley this this age. I'm a history major. This particular one is pretty bad. But Trump is the thing I admire about Trump is his overtness and his corruption. It's it's overt. There's no hiding it. It's just like, he reminds me, did you ever see outlawed Josie Wales? Of course, yeah. Okay, that snake all salesman that eventually turns Josie

Wales in like, hey, $2 for this naked like Trump's got stocks invested into this chloroquine and pure, which has been proved to cause heart attacks. It's only for malaria and extreme. He doesn't have he doesn't have good business instincts. No, no. How can you ruin a casino? A casino is a moneymaker, and he's gone bankrupt on casinos, and he's our president. And now he's trying to do this drug that's going to cure shit and have Jared in charge of everything, which is a slumlord in Baltimore in New York, which is like under investigation. I mean, the people he puts in charge of stuff. And now all of his like knuckleheads are like fire Fauci fire Fauci in Michigan and in Louisiana and all these

places with this. And it's an artificial turf tea party kind of coke brother. My brother said the best thing about politics as far as Democrats and Republicans. He goes, that's like rooting for the AFC or the NFC. And in the end of the day, they're all in the NFL. And I'm just like, yeah, that's exactly how I look at it. You know, Trump said, you know, he's, he's a specific he's a, he's a real original. I gotta tell you, that guy has changed the fucking game. You saw it like, I mean, I didn't watch a lot of it, but some of those Democratic debates, they were all doing what the fuck he did four years ago when it was crazy, where they were just completely ignoring the rules. You know, what's dangerous about them is that by,

by his success, it allows people like Oprah to be our next president or like Dr. Oz or Phil or anyone that like has enough airtime that seems to know what they're talking about. And they don't know shit about it because there's the Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger is another one. Al Franken, there's been a lot of celebrities that have become mayors of small towns and they just kept going higher. Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan, you know, did a movie with a monkey. Next thing you know, he's governor of California and then he's president for eight years. So how'd all those work out? Listen, this is how I look at it. This is how I look at it. The only, like human being that's been president in my lifetime that I remember is Jimmy Carter and the

proof is in the pudding with what this guy, this guy's in his nineties. He's still building houses for the homeless. Everybody else, Democrat, Republican went on the speech tour. I mean, even Obama's wife is out there with the glitter hooker boots is out there doing an arena tour to sell her fucking book. We tried to open for. That's hilarious. Yeah, I just think it's, it's pretty overt as far as like where, I don't know. And then, but then I also try just to keep my standing. I try to have empathy for whoever's president because especially since Bill Clinton, from Bill Clinton on, every president, including Bill Clinton, has just been trying not to get impeached and thrown out of the office. It's like,

they can't even fucking do the job. They go and George Bush stole the election, stole the election. All right. Well, it's fucking over. It's fucking over. He's president now. You're forgetting, you're blocking out like eight years of Obama, no drama. Did we have this kind of like headline news cycle, 24 hours a day of new, what are you talking about, Al? We have that our big thing was that he wore white after Memorial Day or brown on something. I mean, come on, man. I mean, the guy was just as sold out to as everyone else, but at least he didn't cause drama. I'm kind of kind of tired of just like the proposal of drama, of drama, of drama. When I go to bed at night, I'm thinking about it. When I wake up, enough. I didn't have to do that

with Obama. That's all I'm saying. We need a four year break. We need a four year break, man. And if it takes like that senile, fucking useless Joe Biden to fucking give us four years of sleep, I'm happy for it. Can I tell you something? You can have a four year break the second you stop watching this shit. Okay. And what I think what happened with during Obama was there was this level off period of people being numb to the fact that we're in these never ending wars that are bankrupting the country. I also think probably a lot of your friends leaned left. So the white noise was because ever since, you know, when Obama was in office out here in Hollywood, he could do no fucking wrong. He walked on water and blah, blah, blah, blah. Now I do an active

gig. You know, it's not as bad now, but when Trump first came in, it was like a fucking funeral out here. But I bet if Hollywood was in Nebraska, everybody would have been doing a jig and going to work would have been funder in those times. So I just think, you know, if you live in LA, you live in an AFC city. If the Democrats are the AFC that Nebraska is not really happy about their governor, the Republican governor and their president right now and Republican policies right now, just because it's affecting everyday people. And all of a sudden they see that like this ideological like demagogue that you just want to like make it easy, rude for somebody that's bigger than life and they'll take care of it like a superhero, like a Marvel comic.

It's not reality. Now they're starting to deal with the realities of it. And I just think that like even, even his own cult of personality is not going to be able to withstand like truthful logistical things that are happening right now. You can't bullshit your way out of X amount of people dead, X amount of people needing ventilators when they're not there. You can't get your way out of that. You absolutely can. That's what they have Fox News for and they'll blame something that someone with a blue tie did the same way as if there was a blue tie guy in, they would have blamed the red tie guy before. I agree with you. I agree with you on that. There is no getting around this. This is fact. This is fact. You can, you can spend it. It's

a barren fault that artillery Clinton's fault that this virus is here. No, no, no, no. You have to deal in fact now because it's affecting our everyday life. We can't go out. We can't go to the beach. I may have to meet you on Mulholland Drive for like some kind of mass gloved thing to like say hello to you on driving down the street. I mean, really? You got to deal with that. Don't you think the combination of aviation and us hacking down the fucking rainforest, I mean, this was inevitable. Of course. It's inevitable. So it's, it's, it's, it's not a red tie guy or a blue tie guy and getting back to it. But why are those policies there that are hacking down the Amazon, Bolsonaro and Brazil and all the other right wing leaders?

The president makes less money a year than you can hear. That's what they're doing. They're trying to make it like so business can get one last profit windfall and fuck everyone else because then they have their matches and they can go retire in a bubble proof underground cave and leave everyone for themselves. And that's what's going on. I thought you like conspiracy theories. This is a left wing conspiracy theory. This is like the right wing. All the money they can and go underground and leave us all to be upstairs. What I like at this point in my life is just shutting off all of that fucking noise because there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can do about like the level of bloodshed. Like there would have to be a legit revolution to get all of the

stuff that needs the very few people that are making these decisions to keep these old ways of making money or whatever going the level of power and weaponry at their disposal. It's not like the old days when we got sick of England where everybody grabs a musket out of their fucking house and hides behind a tree and shoots a guy in a red coat. I went down the thing like I think conspiracy theory gets a bad rap as far as everybody goes to like oh you think there's shapeshifters and the moon's made out of cheese. Like that's what's used to define conspiracy theories. Like you're always defined by your worst. Like comedians that you know have lampshades on their heads. We're on offstage. You know the sad clown blah blah blah blah. But I just think like

I don't like I went down that whole road. I saw how fucked up things were and I just don't like okay so you have all that information. You know all that. You believe all that. How do you mobilize a bunch of people. The same way the government's trying to mobilize people during this fucking pandemic to just wear masks and gloves and they can't even get them to do that. How the fuck are you gonna mobilize people to all be like you know what Al figured it out. Now let's fucking go do this. It'll drive you mad. No no no. I don't I don't want people to go Al figured it out. I want people to go I figured it out. And here it is. It's called education and like getting through fake news and through the bombardment that we have of left white ring news that are like

inundating our minds and souls. Let me ask you this Al. I mean seriously it's just like just you common fucking sense right now with this virus spreading at one person to like 10 people potentially every time you're in contact with somebody and you have like these right wing protests Gretchen Whitmer which was a Freudian slip Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan said the best and just like okay that's great we all want it to be open but you just made it harder to be open by getting all together one or two three four ten twenty fifty of you were infected in there maybe not even knowing it and I just spread it wider so what am I supposed to do it's called all of those protesters up you stick them in a fucking gymnasium and you

leave them there for two weeks and if somebody gets it and he spreads it you don't fucking treat them right okay I'm with you I'm with you on that just don't treat them you want to be a selfish mouth breather I mean I don't I don't know I don't know let's let's uh listen I don't know what the fuck I respect your opinions I don't know shit I don't even watch anything so my big thing is uh I'm trying to clean up my fucking little man cave here it's a fucking mess I shrink wrap the bunch of shit the shove under a bed and if I could just get some of my photos up on the wall you know I'd say this pandemic was a success um this pandemic is not a success because my next question to you is how are you doing without hockey man dude I gotta I'm in this scary fucking place where I

don't miss anything anymore this this whole thing has become my new reality I wake up in the morning I make my wife and kid breakfast I play with my daughter and then you know when she goes down for her nap I go out into the garage I work on being able to play good times bad times because I feel like that's gonna make me a happy person and then I work on a script and then my daughter wakes up and I get up with her and then that's when she gets up at four that's the end of my day we play for an hour and a half then it's dinner time then there's the after-dinner crazy energy and then there's the bath and then there's the you know getting her ready for bed pajamas brushing the teeth and all of that and then I gotta read her two or three books and by then it's like eight thirty nine o'clock

and I am fucking wiped out and that's just become my life I don't miss anything that I ever used to do it's it felt like it literally it literally feels like it never happened that's heavy man I would just said that's heavy as shit yeah I don't miss anything of the past I don't like I and I am I have what I've always wanted which is to be able to stay home and I have this crazy awesome time with my daughter every day dude I got her now she bats lefty I can underhand the ball and like like two out of ten she can hit and like that that to me is like killing on stage it's the greatest thing and I'm watching all of these disney shows with her I'm teaching her how to draw the other day I she counted backwards from ten you know she's three

that's like a big deal and uh you know she's three now so that initial brain I guess her personality is developed and she's so like emotionally open that the other day I was you know I was on the computer and she came in and she said dad dad can we watch popcorn and movie tonight and I just kind of nodded not listening so she went out to the kitchen and said mama dad I said I could watch you know you know popcorn in a movie and my wife came out like why'd you say that you can't you can't do that because I forget why she couldn't so then she found out she couldn't she cried she came and she was like dad dad I asked you and you you went like this and I was like I know buddy I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention totally validated what she was

taking she gave me a big hug a kiss and then walked out in the kitchen and said dad I want to do that again she wanted to reenact the apology it was so like wow that's her again I'll tell you what's great about that is that's what the fuck I didn't was not available when I was growing up which is the source of so much of my flipping out over nothing because I just feel like I'm not going to be heard so like I got more satisfaction out of that than doing my last special at royal Albert Hall which was my best work I feel um like that's literally like that's I believe you man I mean but that right there that is that is what you want to leave behind it's not your body of work oh look at me telling the jokes it's the people that you created with the help of god don't want to piss

anybody off right that you fucking that they're these good open people that have empathy that want to help and want to listen like like that's your job as a parent and then you have to have that weird duality of also don't take any shit and end up in the trunk of somebody's car so you got a that's where the jujitsu is going to come in when she gets a little bit older listen the way I look at it I mean that that's a beautiful story and and I'll give you one on on top of that not not as good as that but like my 32 year old daughter in Seattle uh we talk more now than we have in last 20 years that's awesome and she's in an essential uh job she runs a pharmacy a holistic pharmacy in Seattle uh one of ground zeroes and she's in there every day and we talk more now

than than I ever have uh with her this is this is really kind of cool in a lot of ways and I think it's kind of cool in a lot of ways in that the world really needed this time out so the people that are screaming and waving confederate flags and brandishing their guns and marching state capitals and going we have to open right now maybe you are you ought to think about like this might actually be a teaching moment and a good thing and I hate to use the word teaching moment it's so liberal and so wishy washy but it's just like it really is like take the time to realize like there's some actual good that can come out of this man I mean I've seen it myself yeah that definitely is I just there's just uh a few things like um you know if you're living week to week those

are the people that I have empathy for as far as like let's get this fucking thing going again I this is not cool this is where governments come in and this is where uh wall street government does not uh really work over main street government we need to keep the the economy going and the way to do that is to make sure that the workers are healthy uh and right now they just want profit and they don't care about the workers being healthy and this is not cool so we need to find a middle ground on that but um you know what's good about this podcast is we didn't agree with each other on all of it but at no point did we start screaming and yelling so I would I would hope that we could get back to that Andrew just popped up so I think we're coming towards the

end what do we have to do here okay legal zoom everybody health and safety is on the top of everyone's minds right now no matter what happens you want to make sure your loved ones are protected that's why legal zoom continues to provide a reliable way everyone to set up a right estate plan without leaving your home it starts with finding the answers to your questions do you need a last will and testament or a living trust um speak about importance of having your affairs in order yes if you've created more people if you have a wife or a husband if you kick the bucket the only thing they should have to worry about is the pain of losing you other than that they should be rolling in dough like they just uh you know hit both showcases on the price is right

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lighting so it looks like i just played full court basketball are we inside one of your motor homes or is that your home now we're in the studio this is what i do like about this pandemic is all you guys are going to be making more music look at that yeah yeah that's the point less what are you doing man i'm making horrible sound you what making wretched sounds wretched sounds for the masses yeah like i'm almost almost done with the album man just like uh this this this quarantine thing is great outside of the obvious new drink of uh vodka vermouth and an emergency fizzy pack and then shake and not stirred that's a quarantiny i've been doing yeah we've been drinking and and then of course like uh you know doing your your shrooms your daily shrooms in a in a little

gel cap you buy an ounce and you make it into like about 50 pills and you do those and then and then since it's essential the weed stores are open california quarantine is way better than i think maybe alabama quarantine or something but they didn't quarantine so you know you can still go to your gun shop or whatever i guess yeah but they don't let me fit they don't let you fish i can't ocean fish i'm not supposed to go to my boat or get out on the ocean why the rule why i don't know they said no no bueno they said sorry charlie charlie stay stay away from your boat what if you go out in your boat alone what do you mean i did i went out the other day and everybody and they say that's not good they said no that's not not supposed to

do that well what are you gonna give it to the fish yes well you know those dolphins have raped a few people haven't they so maybe if they get a hold of less they rub up against them you know unless it's too ashamed to share his story i think i wouldn't be ashamed to share that story i'd share that story right with you yes i mean i i could see less going down to floating to dolphin orgy but uh not not in where where do you live in organ or northern cal you live in northern cal northern california bedagabay no the dolphins are cool he's not gonna molest dolphins bill he's okay well he will be worried no less was the victim in that story yes depends on how you look at it do tell um all right well we actually work we're down to the

end of this here uh less do you have anything to promote all right see you later we've been yapping i'm out of here about 50 minutes trying to solve the world's problems it took me a while to get on the damn thing i tried getting on and they they booted me off because i didn't recognize my my pseudonym my nom diploma so well all right for my podcast listeners less has been slowly talking me in to buying a motorhome um i'm actually in i just got to get the wife to uh to uh to to to sign off on it but my thing is i like those gmc ones remember the one from stripes that's the one i like yes em 50 i found you a couple you haven't jumped listen you know she won't let me get a gun i can't get a fucking motorhome you know i'm trying i'm trying my damnedest to be a good american

they have a gun yep motorhome you look at me today when bill barken drive down the street with his gun and his motorhome yeah in l a window i have your gmc i'll find you one and that was the time i mean there's bargains to be had right now i'm actually looking for another bus so oh you are i my thing is i like the one the uh they call it the palm desert whatever they call it that green one that lime green with the lime green checkered interior that's that's the one that i want um so well you know you have a link to the people in fact you're on your link to the people right now you can put the word out to uh somebody send one your way how the fuck am i gonna put that thing i live in los angeles right now you just say oh where are you guys where are you guys have you

guys ever watched breaking bad your mobile home is a potential meth lab is that what you guys are doing is that what you guys are doing well what's the pandemic we need another um we need another revenue stream see what happens see what happens when less shows up we were talking world politics and now all the tweaker talk starts as soon as i show up that's pretty good i heard about northern california and meth and tweaking and murder mountains and all of that what's wrong with you people up there less you know i don't know it's uh it's it's been in my family since the get go so i just kind of try and steer steer clear and uh i don't use my motorhome for uh for that purpose i don't have a motorhome i have a bus i have a pre-post bus i refuse to call it a

motorhome oh sorry i didn't mean to you know i know those are trying to work trotting my horns yeah fighting word you know there's pretty much meth everywhere so i don't blame me i wasn't seriously trying to suggest that eureka where you live right you're up in eureka all the way up that's that's quite a bit north of me i'm pedega bay area i'm joking i tried to get a gig up in eureka and i forget what the hell happened and then that murder mountain thing came out um and all my friends became gum shoes and were somehow solving all those uh those fucking murders or whatever um anyway all right well as we wrap this thing up less i apologize that it took so long for you to get on um by the way can i thank both of you guys for that incredible show that i saw

at the uh the la form there we go it was amazing it was murderers row it was mount rushmore of fucking bands and you guys all had your own lane this is how good that show was i was 51 years old i stood up through all of it and was not tired that's how good that fucking show was pretty yeah but you probably have roids and so you couldn't sit down anyway so you had to stand up and you enjoyed it because it was good but i think the fact you didn't sit down was probably your own internal physical problems no you notice i have botox feet i got all the wrinkles out of them and i got the padding of the liquid on the bottom and i was able yeah i was able to do that i had those doctor shows with the velcro strips um hey les what uh

al stuff is coming out on friday what are you working on and any release date or anything like that well i i was supposed to do a gig two nights ago at the uh greek theater in berkeley but it didn't happen um i i you know we had a big primus to our plan we were gonna we're gonna go out and do uh russia's uh farewell to kings and its entirety attribute to kings oh man it's now looking like people are saying do you think even when they open up live live shows are people even gonna show up i think they're gonna be fucking packed yes yes they're gonna be packed and and the thing is is that july is still weird uh i really think my opinion is that everything will be open by july 4th because trump wants a parade

for himself to like show that he's the king of the covid and that he's killed it and it's all beautiful and everything's great jared fixed it and and this and that and so i think july 4th they're gonna actually start letting people back out i know we have some may 15th um um deadlines of like okay certain things can be open it'll still be weird and all that but i i just think trump has enough of an ego that he's gonna open it up july 4th just to have a parade in his honor and if that happens then my july 4th tour goes on because we were scheduled from july 4th to like mid august and uh that might be possible because if trump has a parade then we can have a couple thousand people at our place but if it doesn't happen which i'm

actually kind of hoping it doesn't at this point i'm not one of these militia people tea party people that are like you know second amendment free free is from quarantine this and that it just makes sense and so uh we're fine that they rescheduled the whole thing for april in the event that it doesn't happen in july but but i i just see trump doing something like real kim yang un of like i need a parade for me for going through for this on july 4th and if he does massive turnouts with rallies and shit there's no reason why you can't see ministry and and literally we'll hand out masks and gloves at the door before our shows and you can come see us as opposed to a trump rally where you can just go yell at biden and obama and and do whatever and spread your

shit if you were in a position of power in life where you could say they're gonna have a parade for me wouldn't you do it that's kind of hard to lay off let's have a parade for me yeah but but if you can get the parade approved by congress and look at the pandemic officials and all that if it's postponed the fact that you just had your parade in your name is good enough for me you don't i hope it happens to have the parade i hope he has a fucking parade because then we get back more towards uh normal and i hope less you get your uh so i hope all you guys i hope because if you guys get out there that means i'm getting out there so i'm rooting for the president to have his fourth of july aren't i awesome parade will i really just i just want to go to the i want to

go to the owl parade that's that that's what i'm looking forward to now i'm going to have my own parade that's i'm ready let's do it all right well listen uh less i gotta have you back on because you're only on for like eight minutes that's just not acceptable all right and you actually have i'm not going anywhere hey i know right um all right al jergeson less clay pool everybody they're uh look at they're in their home studios making more music for everybody god bless you like lying down in your bedroom there bill yeah i just have bad posture i could sit up you know i could look more professional but then what happens is my giant head makes this shadow with the overhead light i kind of pride myself on no production quality whatsoever it's one of the

charms of the podcast yes podcast yes sir all right less continued health continued uh you know i hope you get the fish and all of that shit he's coming back i'm out of here later oh i thought he's coming back another day oh another day hey he's coming back another day we'll crash in on your call exactly all right it's getting up soon my kids getting up soon i gotta go practice bad times all right you guys thank you guys for coming thank you everybody listening to to the monday morning podcast um i'm gonna do a little ad read here al less we'll see you guys thank you all right everybody that is the podcast that was a wild one man um um i had a great time am i talking to anybody anymore i don't even know all right