Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-25-20

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

Bill rambles about beach goers, Sharknado movies, and putting stuff to bed....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday. Holy shit, May 25th. Where the fuck is this year going? Oh, geez, it flies by when you're sitting there with the mask on in a closet. How are you? Hey, guess what happened to me, everybody? You know, I know everybody's going through a tough time out there, you know? And as a person in the public eye, I need to make sure that I'm not tone deaf. I had one of the greatest things that's ever happened into my life. Okay, my cell phone had a broken screen. A few of you who saw me on my Instagram live, I figured out how to do that, scroll left till it says live and click on it. Talking to Nate Craig, whose
Starting point is 00:00:54 new special preferred customer is up on the All Things Comedy YouTube page. People like, oh my God, like you, your fucking cell phone needs a squeegee. Laughing my ass off, everybody's shitting all over me, right? So I had a date. I had a hot date to get my fucking cell phone screen fixed. Well, I was out with my daughter and my wife, and we're going for a drive. And I had sweatpants on with shallow pockets. Thank you, Adidas, with your sweatpants, with these fucking pockets. I don't even think I could get like, I think I was old school erasers when you were a kid, you know, the big one for the kid with the meaty hands, you know, strong of back, weak of mind, that big giant, or I could maybe get one of those
Starting point is 00:01:43 in there. So my cell phone was in there. And when I sat down in the as I was closing the door, like a fucking alley, you the fucking, you know, lob it and then the dunk, it was slid out of my pocket. And as it was hitting the ground, I was shutting the door, not any harder than you normally would, but the screen was already cracked. And that's all she wrote. And it's just when I touch the screen, it looks like a fireworks show. It's just all kinds of red and blues and greens. And I keep hearing all these text messages. And of course, you know, me, I didn't back up any of my contacts. So I lost everybody's fucking numbers. If anybody who's friends with me is listening to this, please text me. No, I did not die of the
Starting point is 00:02:32 COVID virus. I just lost all my contacts and contacts, contacts. And I got to tell you, I haven't had a cell phone for two days and I got to tell you, it's fucking great. I love it. Yeah, I lost a bunch of pickers. Sure, there's a bunch of people I don't even know how to get in touch with. But you just not have that fucking thing on me. I feel like I got out of a bad relationship where it was like, Oh, wait a minute, I used to like to watch sports. Why the fuck did I allow this thing to not let me watch what the fuck I wanted to watch? You know, it is fucking no cell phone fucking rules. Having said that, I got a new one that's coming in on Thursday, but I want to enjoy these four or five days. The great Andrew Themlis helped me set up so I get
Starting point is 00:03:32 the text on my computer. So then I was just really thinking like, so then why do I need a phone? The fuck do I need a phone for? Every car you get in has that GPS thing granted. It's like always like 10 years old. You know, there's like squares and triangles, you know, supposed to be representing cars and buses and shit, but it'll get you there. It's been fucking tremendous. And I got a whole bunch of shit done for like the last fucking three months, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? Because I got this, you know, I went to a nutritionist and I was like, you know, oh, Billy fat again, you know, whatever I'm doing is not working. You know, and I know it's 90% diet and at my age is maybe 95.5% day. So I was like, give me some fucking meals here.
Starting point is 00:04:20 It's the order with which they put them together and how they all they all complement each other. So I was like, you know what, I got these things all printed out, right? At some point, I'm going to put these on these little three by five index cards. And, you know, it was a month's worth of meals. So what's that like, seven times four weeks was four weeks of meals. So it's 28 meals. And then I had a buddy back home who's been fucking, you know, dealing with weight issues or whatever. So I was like, I'll make a copy for you. So I wrote them out times two. And, you know, I got the little boy coming soon. And I just realized, like, if I don't get this done before he gets here, this could be like another five years. So I just decided I was going to put
Starting point is 00:05:05 the fucking thing to bed this weekend. I didn't have a cell phone to fucking distract me or whatever. And I fucking knocked it out. Jesus Christ. You know, you know, when you haven't worked out for a while and you're like, you get winded because you haven't fucking run, like it's been so long since I wrote that much. I think you'd have to go back to when I was still in school taking notes that my fucking wrist was killing me. You know, like I'd fucking done a bunch of squats or some shit. So so I completed it. I put the fucker to bed underrated, putting shit to bed. Put it to bed. What the fuck is it? It's hanging over your head. Your wife's fucking looking at you, right? She's still banging you, but she's not putting the fucking full effort into it
Starting point is 00:05:55 because that fucking thing is hanging over your head. It's hanging over your head. It's hanging over your head. What do you need to do? You got to put it to bed. Tuck that fucker in. It's all done. I put these fucking things together. Three, okay, breakfast, lunch, dinner. I had all the days, day, you know, breakfast, week one, Monday, breakfast, week one, Tuesday, the whole fucking way, color coded. I got the fucking grocery list for each week in the front of it. This thing is a fucking work of. Yeah. So I did that. And then there's been no sports on other than the Peyton, Tiger, Tom Brady, Phil Mickelson thing, which I watched. I really enjoyed that. I don't know. I know a lot of people like bitching about sports, but I like
Starting point is 00:06:50 no crowd and being able to hear them talking everything like that last UFC, when you could actually, I mean, it was, you never heard them punches for the most part. They always had to go, let's listen to that, you know, and then they would go back and then you hear the audio, but in real fucking time, even just the bullshit hits bullshit, meaning that a pro fighter can shake them off. Me, I'd be in fucking traction for the rest of my life. Just hearing those sounds. It just, I, you know, I just sit there and I watch those guys kick each other in the leg, whatever. But that last one with no crowd, I was wincing every fuck, just like the idea, whatever the leg version of a jab is. You know, not trying to be a tough guy over here,
Starting point is 00:07:37 but I've been kicked in the shin before and that's no fucking, that's no beach party, is it? What's a beach party, Bill? I don't know. I'm fucking pasty as hell. I heard they're fun for people with pigment. Speaking of which, I got to give a shout out to all the fucking mouth breathers out there going down to the beach, going down to the fucking beach. You know who goes to the beach dummies? Let's go to the beach. Let's go sit in the fucking dirt and go into some water where everything in there is faster than me and can eat me. Let me go fucking dopes. Dopes go to the beach and there, there are special breed of dope. Now, Brandon, a lot of this shit is I'm jealous that I can't just run around without, with my shirt off and not get
Starting point is 00:08:29 fucking burnt like a goddamn, like I fucking burn like garlic. You got to keep me moving, man, or it's going to be a fucking problem. There's a little jealousy here, but I just, in general, people who go to the beach. You guys thought that I made painters mad at me. Today, I'm going to try to see if I can make people who go to the beach fucking more angry at me than painters. They've settled down. They've settled down. They had a couple of keystone light sat on a couple of fucking open pink cans, you know, the dumb fucking red-wing boots with the fucking paint all over them. You like Jackson Pollock except nobody gives a fuck.
Starting point is 00:09:17 You know, when you die, is somebody going to fucking bit on the wall you painted in that bathroom? Why do I go after them? You know why? Because they turned out to be a really sensitive lot. Anyway, let's, let's get back to the beach fucking, the beach comb. It's just, it's the, the dums, the dums. Yeah, yeah, Bill, there you go. Maybe you should be in the fucking beach. You're fucking dope. Huh? Head in the sand with your pasty freckled ass sticking up with the air. Just the people that go down. There's a dirt bag-ness to the beach. Dirt bags go to the beach, right? Fucking scumbags go to the beach. Losers live on the beach.
Starting point is 00:09:56 All right. Fucking morons go to the beach. And then they have like this fucking, you know, this pop psychology, like spirituality, man, about the land meeting the water and how like, man, you know, we came from the water, man, right? All of that shit, all that hippie surfer fucking bullshit. Like they're beating the man because they're out there on a fucking cardboard table. Um, fucking surfing around. Yeah. Beaches are for dopes. Okay. And right now we're in the middle of a fucking pandemic. And at some point you got to send the GIs walking towards that atom bomb that just went off just to see what the fuck's going to happen. And God bless these mouth breathers cause they're doing it. We've been inside for two months right now and we need a group of people
Starting point is 00:10:55 that we can afford to lose to walk towards the virus and see where it's at. And God bless these fucking mouth breathers. You know, they're out there, they're listening to their music, tells them about their country and about their rights. And then, you know, nobody's going to tell me not to get my four wheeler out and go down there with my fucking Larry Bird shorts up my ass. You know, with your dumb snorkel on top of your fucking head. Oh, I love it. I love it. You send the weakest of mind out to the danger first. We can afford to lose these people. We can afford to lose these people. All right. So this is what happens. They're like the human groundhog day.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Right. The groundhog sees his shadow. He goes back into the hole. We got another fucking, I don't know how many fucking weeks of winter, right? He doesn't see his shadow. We can come out. So if these fucking mouth breathing boogie board fucking morons, you know, who are down there who listen to the worst fucking music, right? There's no thought. It's just like the most basic pop fucking horseshit, you know, you let those fuckers go down there. Okay. And it is, it is a win-win. Either they don't die. And then we can all go back to smart people can fucking go back to running shit. Oh, this is the latest. This is so latest. This is just the angry railings of a fucking boy in the bubble. That's all. All right.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Either they survive and we can all go back to normal or even better is a significant portion of them die. And I'm willing to say that that's enough to swing an election. I'm not going to say which way. I know both sides thinks the other side is dumber. All right, but we're going to find out. We're going to find out. Okay, because I have a feeling a lot of people that fucking vote for Trump are going to be very happy. Okay, because even as dumb as a lot of people who voted for Trump, who can look the other way at a guy who just told you to fucking take fucking a shot of bleach. Even people that are that dumb, okay, there's a certain level of dumb that you get to that you can't afford to live near the ocean and you get pushed into the middle of the country. So what's
Starting point is 00:13:34 going to happen is is enough fucking mouth, breathing morons is just the theory. I'm going to go to these fucking oceans in predominantly blue states and then they're going to come home and they're going to start sneezing on people who don't have pigment. And I'm going to tell you right now, Donnie Trump gets a second term. All right, that's what's going to happen. But along the way, we're going to lose a lot of dumb people, which is a good thing. You know, what did dumb people do? They breed. They breed like rabbits. Okay, they can't figure out how to open a condom. They put it on backwards. You know, they're morons. They don't plan it out. Take dick stick in that, go until done. That's that's how they plan their life. Right? They got a bunch of shit in their
Starting point is 00:14:23 front yard. That's why they go to the beach. They don't want to look at the fucking life they created. So get out there and twerk and boogie board and fucking roll all over each other. I love it. I hope you have a great time. And I'm 50 50 on whether or not you get sick. I don't want you to get sick because I want people, smart people who have small businesses and actually made something out of their lives. You know, I mean, what kind of a fucking asshole, like the big thing is it's a fucking beach. You can go to bits. It's going to be there. It's May Memorial Day. I gotta bring my hibachi down to the beach. I love it. There we go. That ends my Hollywood elitist. You know, Bill, not everybody has an above ground pool. If you can't afford an above ground pool
Starting point is 00:15:28 and you're over the age of 50, you got no one to blame but yourself. That's not true. Fucking bankers get their fucking foot on everybody's goddamn neck. What a bunch of dopes out of all the fucking things out there to bitch about you can't go to the beach. What about how corporate America is going to be taking more of this a bigger slice of the pie because the little guy can't survive. Fuck all that. I can't put on I can't put on my fucking goddamn sun hat and take a metal detector down there and hope I go find an old iPhone. Jesus, you know, it'd be great. A nice fucking tsunami. I'll just wash them all away.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Anyway, there's a lot of you probably got upset by that, but you do the same thing. Don't you think that you're part of a better group than you're really in? Don't you think you're a little smarter than you are? Don't you think that the world would just really fold for like three days if something happened to you? I'm fucking with you. All right, so there you go. So there's one for the mouth. But I took the heat off the painters, you know what I mean? And I feel bad about the painters, you know, most of them have fucking brain damage from breathing and all of that shit and stripping away the fucking lead paint and all that stuff, you know, and they'll probably call themselves heroes, but who do they have to blame?
Starting point is 00:17:01 Huh? Who put that lead paint there to begin with? Another painter. So you just matt it yourself, you know? Do you come from a long line of painters? Is everybody in your family good at coloring things in? Why am I doing this? I don't know. All right, let's get back to the podcast here, everybody. No advertising this week. Can you believe it? Can you believe what the intellect on this podcast that no one wants to advertise? All right. What did I want to talk about? You know what? I got into fucking Jeff Piccaro again. Jeff Piccaro is one of those guys. I always felt like his drum was too sophisticated for my dumb ass. I mean, I'm dumb, but not dumb enough to go to the beach, you know what I mean? Like to like need to go to the beach. I just love the
Starting point is 00:17:45 beach going down there and eating fried food and the smell of low tide and seagulls. My dumb plastic floaty toys. What is sharks going to get their shit together? Just don't understand it. You know what I mean? We're polluting their oceans. At what point are they going to draw a line in the fucking sand and stop killing their fucking, you know, fish on a fish crime and just start going after the real fucking problem out there. You know, just set it aside the way the Bosnian Serbs did. Bosnians in the Serbs, right? Is that who they were when the Russians came in? Then they had a common enemy. Well, let's take a break on this. And then they fought the Russians for like a good fucking, I don't know, a long 60, 70 fucking years.
Starting point is 00:18:31 And then the Russians left and they were like, all right, where were we? There we go, right? That was a weird time in history. Everybody had these weird names like Nittanyahu, butros, butros, Bali. Remember that whole fucking weird time? You're like, is that a dictator or a fucking DJ? All right. Jeff Fakar, everybody. Now, a lot of people know him as a drummer from Toto, right? Played the Bernard Purdy Shuffle on Roseanne. All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is grab your ass, Roseanne. They had to change the lyrics, I think, right? After me too.
Starting point is 00:19:15 All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is ask your permission and get in it in written form also. If I can touch your dairy, general neutral name, general neutral name. Fuck you. You fill up an hour by yourself with no advertising. Anyway, I was, I don't know what I was just looking at all these bottom videos and shit and old football and stuff like that and NFL football stuff. And I ended up coming across a couple of Jeff Prokaro videos. And one of them took me to this album by Robert Palmer that I didn't even know about. Like, Robert Palmer, I just knew him as lots of our own, but you're not home in those fucking
Starting point is 00:20:12 zombie chicks with no fucking bras on, which everybody flipped out about. I was kind of like, I don't see what the big deal is here. They're clearly not playing those instruments. I was a nerd. And I came across this fucking album. Let me see if I can find the name. I already forget the name of the, what is the name of the goddamn album? It was his third album. He put out three albums in three years. Some people can do what they like. And Robert Palmer had the little feet band backing him. And then on a, at least one track, Jeff Prokaro played on. And, oh, I know what the fucking video was. It was Jeff Prokaro Fills.
Starting point is 00:20:58 And he was a big studio drummer, just amazing, amazing player. And it was just all these, these, I mean, I thought he was a groove guy. I knew he was a groove guy, but I didn't know he had chops like that. This fucking guy was a beast. So that just led me down this road. So I downloaded two albums by Robert Palmer, which sound really different. And they're from the seventies, like 74 and 75, 76 was, uh, some people can do what they like. And then I downloaded them, the one that, his first one, uh, sneak and sally through the alley. So Bernard Purdy plays on some of this, I believe, now this is all new to me. So I might get some of this wrong. He had the little feet band backing him up. Um, and was it Richie Hayward was their great drummer,
Starting point is 00:21:47 rest in peace, rest in peace, Jeff Prokaro, rest in peace, Robert Palmer. Oh geez, a lot of dead guys here. Would they go to the beach bill? Oh geez. Um, I was really blown away, but I fucking hate the sound of drums in the eighties. I hate that whole drum sound. It's taken me so fucking long to finally actually go back and listen to a lot of that music. Um, the drums just sounded fucking horrible. I know it was like the sound back then and it was new and it sounded cool, but it did not age well for me anyway. Um, I love that shit from the seventies, that dry. Um, all the influence of the studio guys back then, the Jeff Prokaro, Steve Gadd, Richard T, remember that whole band, uh, the Gadd gang or a lot of stuff. Um, just those fucking monster,
Starting point is 00:22:42 monster, monster fucking studio musicians, which I think musicians was, I think that whole thing just fucking went away with the home studio and all of that. I used to love reading in like modern drummer back in the day. They had one album cover that just had like the studio musicians and they would talk about, you know, they had New York and the LA guys and there was a couple of guys, I think Hal Blaine literally had like three drum giant fucking like ridiculous spinal tap level drum kits with the concert toms. I think he had no head on the bottom, Tom and he had like two or three of them just set up like one at like Capitol, one, I don't know the names of the fucking places, but he, and he would just, just all day long, just fucking go from one to another,
Starting point is 00:23:27 to another, to another. And they did so many of them that, you know, they literally forgot what tracks they played on. I imagine if they listened back, they could tell, oh, that's me, that's something I do, or that's my sound or something, or maybe just hearing the song would bring it back to them. But they used to do these interviews with these guys and I always thought that was such a fascinating way to kind of live your life, almost like the guy who gets traded a lot, the Chris Gatling. Remember that guy in the NBA? I used to always joke about that guy where he played on so many teams, I think he had a headband, he was a ball dude, so here's where the headband, I think he had a headband in every fucking team color, probably had
Starting point is 00:24:10 like 30 fucking headbands, so he was ready to go for whenever they were going to trade him again. He was like a Jersey Dallas, I think he went back to Jersey, like New Jersey and Dallas were like fucking incestuous for a while, the way they were trading players back and forth, like just, guess the owners just got along with each other. They were like, you don't want to win a championship, yeah, neither do I. All right, let's just fucking switch players and make it look like we're doing back when they played in the Continental Airlines Arena in, what was it, Reunion Arena in Dallas, way back in the day before, that fucking guy there, what the fuck's his name? Mark Cuban. Mark Cuban came in, Mark Cuban did one of the coolest fucking things
Starting point is 00:24:55 ever, that back in the day for a million bucks, you could buy a lifetime pass, I think it was on American Airlines, and when he became like a fucking billionaire, he did that. And if you had that lifetime pass, you didn't really have to make a reservation, you just showed up like, yeah, I gave you guys a million bucks, and they'd be like, all right, this way, Mr. Cuban. I think he got one for his dad too, it's like that, that right there, that's fucking perfect. You know, I guess the way you get the private jet, I think applying commercial is the way to go, I think you get a better pilot, you get a better plane, you're there with a bunch of other people, right? I guess that part of it, you got to go through the security.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I don't know, I would just rather be in something as big as that. So if you ever hit like really bad turbulence, you know, you got the weight and the size of that fucking thing, as opposed to being in like, you know, those G5s, little fucking missiles flying across, I don't know who gets a fuck, those things never crash. Why did I just say that? But they don't, they don't seem to, it's pretty fucking safe. What the hell am I talking about? This is like one of these times where I would just do a fucking, I would do a podcast read, and then I give my brain a break and then I get to fucking hit reset. Well, not this time. Hey, old fucking Billy, old shoulder. I now got it up. I'm using the pink one pound weight. I am up to three sets of 10.
Starting point is 00:26:30 So my thing, and then I take an anti inflammatory and I ice it for 15 minutes, three times during the day on the day that I work and it's been fucking working like perfect for me. So I'm going to get myself up to where I can do with the one pound pink weight. Ladies, three sets of 20 before I then make the leap, the biggest leap when you're rehabbing the fucking, is it rotor cuff, rotator cuff? I always forget rotator rotates, right? I don't fucking know. Rotor, rotors on a car bill. I think I don't fucking know, right? Going from one pound to two pounds, that's a big thing. So when I get up to 20, when I get the two pounder and increase 100% in weight, and that is like a Prince purple. All right. When I get to that one, I'm just going to do three sets of three
Starting point is 00:27:31 inflammatory ice at three times and then just see where the fuck I'm at. And then if nothing happens, then I'm on my way, right? Because going from two to three pounds, as you guys all know, that's only an increase of, was it be a 50% and then as you go up, then it's an increase of fucking 25% or whatever the fuck it is all the way up. I don't know. I got to learn how to do percentages. God knows I have the time. I mean, Bill, if you're going to be an elitist, non pigment person. Do you realize how close I came to be to being on Hitler's list of chosen white people? I came so fucking close. I had skin the color of milk. I have skin the color of milk, right? And I had, I didn't have black or brown hair. You know, so like if he was on the game show
Starting point is 00:28:31 and it's like, all right, Hitler, are you good? Are you going to keep the Deutsch marks you got in your head? Are you going to try to create the perfect race behind door number one? And then the hood looks at the crowd. They always tell you to go for it, right? So take back your Deutsch marks and he would go and the thing would open up. And I would instead of having the blonde hair that he thought, I would have red hair and instead of having pure milk white skin, I would have these awful freckles all over me. And then we're sorry, Hitler, come back in 20 minutes. You'll get to spin the wheel. Maybe you can win a showcase. I bet the German fucking price is right is amazing.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Your next item up for bed is a new car, right? A Porsche, Mercedes, Audi. But you know those cheap cunts probably give them a Volkswagen. They're not even like a Beetle or something. It's probably like the Volkswagen. What do they have now? I remember you said the Jetta, the Sharaka, the rabbit. I forget. I did it. I did respect the fact that they had that whole fucking, they sang a Beach Boys song in German where they were just like, all right, we got to make me in German cool again. Okay, it's the 80s. The H dog was 40 years ago. All right. You remember that? It was the GTI. It was like something like GTI. You remember that? That sounds probably more like me. I'm doing a bad Asian thing, but it was a German thing. They sang it all in German,
Starting point is 00:30:26 but it was too like a Beach Boys song. Oh, I think it was the GTO song. And they did it about the Volkswagen GTI. Jesus Christ, how much time have I done? This is like fucking jury duty this week. 30 minutes. He's halfway there. Did you guys watch the golf yesterday? Did you watch the golf? It was actually got competitive there. You know, everybody was sort of joking around and then it got like real. Everybody just fucking got into it. Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, you know, what's his face? Bert Kreischer, we did a Bill Burt yesterday and I didn't understand what he was saying. And I now get it where he was saying that that Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, if you watch how they play, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:22 this is a completely different sport and but they're pretty, I didn't watch it close enough, but basically how like Michael Jordan can play basketball at the level that he does and then also be like a scratch golfer, but like a professional golfer cannot go out and fucking become even like a division one basketball player for the most part, right? But it seems like all of these fucking pro athletes, it's just, it's a different game. I don't know. Why do I always disrespect golf? I don't know. You know, if they could just send all the golfers to the beach, and then a tsunami with sharks in it, am I pitching a fucking, I think I'm pitching a sequel to Sharknado, right? Was there, was it, was it really a tornado? Because tornado is like air.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Soon it'd been like a water spout. So the sharks could still breathe in there. Shark spout does not sound as good as Sharknado. Not that Sharknado sounds good. God, I would have loved to have pitched that movie. It's a horror movie. Everybody's afraid of sharks. Well, you know, we've kind of done the Jaws thing. They moved on to killer whales and anacondas and alligators. I just feel like it's been done. Wait a minute. This also has a tornado. There was a movie about tornado chasers with Phillips Seymour Hoffman. They've already done, no, no, no, no. It's that movie meets Jaws. What are you talking about? I'm talking about taking the sharks and putting them in a tornado. Do these sharks then go on land? That's exactly what they do.
Starting point is 00:33:19 And it's bad enough that the tornado knocks over your house. And you're like, oh my God, has anybody seen Mike Forman grill in my toaster? That was my favorite flat screen TV, right? You're fucking, it's on top of your grandmother's, you can't move, right? You fucking try to take the TV off and then all of a sudden, inexplicably in the middle of Nebraska, a goddamn tiger shark takes your fucking leg off at the hip. And the movie mogul's like, God damn it. Can you get someone from 90210 in that? You fucking kidding me? I have them attached, right? And everybody laughed and what did they make? They made like fucking 16 of those, didn't they? They made like three of them. How many fucking
Starting point is 00:34:06 shark Natoes were there? Shark Nato. There's somebody going around Hollywood getting hookers and blow being introduced as he's the shark Nato guy. Oh, did you come up with that? Shark Nato. Shark Nato five, Shark Nato six, Shark Nato seven. What the fuck? I'm so far behind. You got a binge walk, Shark Nato. How many Shark Natoes? Dude, that is the fucking best. If you're on the other side of your fucking career and nobody wants to fucking work with you, right? And then all of a sudden you're, oh my God, what are you doing? Shark Nato? Yeah, fucking seven of them, you cunt. Would you like to see my infinity pool? I love a comeback story. All right, they made one in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. These motherfuckers,
Starting point is 00:35:01 they're not stopping. This is what kills me. Is in 2013, to have one come out in 2014, you're talking shit. You're like, this is going to be a fight. I don't even need to see this thing come out and even see how it does. We're just, we're, we're immediately moving on to the next one. Like when they shot back to the future, two and three back to back, right? 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, a Jordan S run. The repeat, three Pete, except they didn't take two years off to fucking do some shit with crabs. They just did sharks the whole fucking way. The last Shark Nato. All right, so let, now we got, all right, we got to see the names here. We got to see the names. This is fucking great.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Okay. There's Shark Nato. Then there's Shark Nato two, the second one. Huh? See, this is the thing. You guys can laugh at Hollywood all you want, but you just lack the creativity at the end of the day. The same way I lack the pigment to go to the beach. So what do I do? Do I say, Hey, have a good time at the beach? No, I wish for their watery deaths. Right? You guys make fun of Hollywood, you know, none of you have the creativity to stick a great white shark into a tornado and then have the balls to take the money you haven't even made on the first one yet and double down and come out with Shark Nato two. And then on top of that, come up with the killer sequel name, one of the hardest things ever to do and come up with the second one.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Right. And then they're not done. They don't, they're like counting cards here. They're not going back to the room. They're going to take this casino down 2015. They come out with Shark Nato three. Oh, hell no. With an exclamation point. Huh? Oh, hell no. And I bet the movie started with that with like, we finally stopped that second tornado with sharks. There's no way there's a third and then all of a sudden it comes over the horizon with a couple of truckers in its mouth. And the 90210 guy, what does he say? Oh, hell no. Right. That's right up there with we got to get a bigger both. Right. Shark Nato four, the fourth awakens. Right. You'd think at this point by the time they made four, they'd start talking about it on the weather channel, right? Shark Nato five,
Starting point is 00:37:46 global swarming. People, they made so much fucking money in the fourth one, the first four that they were now able to take it global. It's like a Will Smith movie, you know, when whatever, whatever the fucking aliens are, they're attacking Paris, they're attacking London. We know all that shit. We know what's going to happen. The American action hero needs to save the world. And even if it's Jason Statham, he's going to do it here in America, right? Right. And then the last, then number five, number six, sorry, the last Shark Nato, they have a sense of humor about their time, about their, their, their movie, it's called, it's about time named LeBron James named it. It's about damn time. Cast and crew. All right, let's look up the cast here.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Dude, Ian Zering did all six. Tara Reed did all six. It's fucking incredible. Ryan Newman, that's not the piano player, is it? Aubrey Peoples, that's a great name. Mark McGrath did two of them. I mean, David Hasselhoff did two. How have I not watched these? Every time I did a table read, and I guess I did such a bad job that I didn't even, they never asked me back to do the part. That happened a lot to me. But one of the people at the table read was David Hasselhoff. And I got to tell you something, that he was one of the best looking human beings I've ever seen in my life.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Unbelievable. And he was fucking hilarious. He was, David Hasselhoff was so good in that table read, I wasn't even annoyed that I didn't get the part. Not like I wasn't reading the same part. I was reading like, you know, Mr. Herman, Paging, Mr. Herman, I had a quick little fucking thing in there, but it was a, what the fuck was that movie? I remember it was really, really, really funny and really, really well written. And I really, really wanted to get in it. And I did not. But I mean, I looked the way I looked. I mean, I looked the way I looked. So I always understood it. I understood it. I said, you know, when you, when you remake Children of the Corn, I know I'm in that one.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Oh, that's great. Just knowing that Iron Zering and Tara Reid right now are sitting on six movies worth of fucking sharknado money. And you know, that's something to be proud of. You don't want the best fucking lines ever, you know, in these douches, they don't have, they have no idea how fucking tough this business is. Okay. He's sitting here with fucking personal assistants and fucking cappuccinos. You guys, you guys couldn't fucking handle this. One of the best lines I ever heard was fucking Michael Kane when they gave him shit for doing, he did like Jaws 19 or three, four, some shit like that. And somebody asked him, I guess, evidently, this critic thought that the movie was a piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:40:57 And he said, Hey, Michael, have you seen Jaws four or whatever one he was in, have you seen Jaws three? And he goes, No, but I've seen the house that had paid for. I butchered it. Fuck. What did he say? Oh, what did he say? I got to look it up. I got to look it up. He gave him the old right there, Fred. Go fuck yourself. I did exactly what you would do. I don't want to do that movie. How much fuck that dream house, baby. Michael Kane, Michael Kane, get the bloody hell out. Michael Kane, Jaws quote. I've seen the house. This ought to get me in. Here we go. Let's see. Let's see. I haven't seen it, but by all accounts, it's terrible. However, I've seen the house that
Starting point is 00:41:53 it's built and it and it is terrific. That is all he was in Jaws, the revenge. Michael Kane, who's an Oscar winner who once said of his role in Jaws, the revenge 1987 that I have never seen it, but by all accounts, it's terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific. Good for him. Good for him. Michael Kane, 50 quotes about acting. Sir Michael Kane, I always think that's hilarious when you get fucking knighted. You never have to have a fucking sword fight. First of all, I choose the great roles and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones. If they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent. I don't need to read another quote. I fucking love this guy.
Starting point is 00:42:45 All of these years of people fucking sitting there trying to act like some piece of shit movie is not a piece of shit movie. I mean, that's part of being a professional, but he just fucking address it. Yeah, I heard it sucked. You know, I didn't say it, but you know, seeing the house that it built and it's terrific. That just shuts them down, shuts them the fuck down. All right, so the running time of Sharknado one, two, three, four, five and six is 540 minutes. You know, they're all on fucking Netflix. You know, what the fuck? You know, who's probably watched all six,
Starting point is 00:43:28 who I lost his phone number if he's listening. You know, who could actually break them down and could rank them. I would guess would be the great and absolutely fucking hilarious Judah Freelander. Judah Freelander one time, we were at the comedy cellar and he started ranking. Oh, what the fuck was his name? How the fuck did it? How the fuck did I just forget his fucking name? The guy with the ponytail made all the action movies. Then he became like a deputized guy and he kept going up to fucking people they pulled over and just go, where's the gun? Cause he kept calling everybody cause
Starting point is 00:44:18 like that was the street lingo. Stephen, not Colbert. Stephen, fuck. Oh God, this is gonna do it. Don't look up one of his, it's funny. I can't remember his name, but I can remember marked for death. Steve is a girl. Steve is a girl. So Judah fucking ranked all of his movies and then he could historically put him in what he brought to martial arts movies. And I said to him, I go, what was that movie where he like, he was like fighting all those rosters and he goes, marked for death, great movie. And I just start laughing. I go, what'd you like about it? He goes, that movie, it's basically, he goes, Stephen Segal beats up Jamaica. And you know anything about Jamaicans? That's no small fucking feet. Those are some of the
Starting point is 00:45:21 toughest fucking people on the planet. But he said, Stephen Segal, martial art movies introduced the breaking of bones into that genre. Cause I remember watching that and he just kept snapping people's fucking arms and legs. And I had watched the Zillion Karate movies that had been a long time. You know, it was funny watching somebody get punched in the face, but when you just saw like the fucking arms snapping, I was like, I was like watching the Joe Thysman fucking leg break video for like 90 minutes. Anyway, let me, let's get, let's get to the, how you going to do it? Huh? You going to do it? You're going to sit there in your fucking house or apartment. You're going to watch 540 minutes of Sharknado. I think you got to do it.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I binged watch Sharknado. Just don't do it ironically, huh? Actually sit down and just enjoy the amount of fucking work to put out six feature films in six years. I mean, you just, you never, you're never not editing. You're never not writing and you're never not shooting. And these fucking people did it hats off to them. All right, let's get to the, uh, let's get to the questions here for the week. God knows there's no advertising. All right, from Kuwait. Dear Mr. Burr, loving your podcasts. So who are the governments borrowing all this rescue package money from? The bankers again, they, they will have even more control for decades. What do you think? I am a British teacher stuck in Kuwait under 22 hour a day curfew in a district that has
Starting point is 00:46:59 been isolated for two months now. You and your podcasts have kept me laughing and angry in equal measures. Uh, your wife and little girl sound amazing, makes me miss and appreciate my family who are 4,000 miles away. Keep making us laugh and go fuck yourself. Um, what is my opinion on that? Like a lot of people, I think this is the time to take the fuckers down. Um, I don't, they just must be paying people off because at the end of the day, they're just bankers. I mean, who would you want to get into a fist fight with? A banker or somebody who fucking fights in the UFC, right? Or some tough guy in a bar. Those, those are tough people. Bankers are not tough. They're just heartless people in offices. Beautiful, beautiful, laminated,
Starting point is 00:47:53 gold offices. Whatever the fuck it is they're doing. Yeah, they're the only ones not losing money. They just, they're, they're Ray Liotta. Fuck you. Pay me. I'll give you three months off, but after, after, after three months, you owe me four months plus the interest. Okay. I'll give you a 90 day break before we go right back to the wheel and you got to run, you know, faster than fucking ever. What is my opinion on that? Uh, they are the fucking reason so many people are suffering. I don't know. Maybe that's oversimplifying it. Just the, um, all right, I'm going to go rogue here. It's God's fault. If you believe in God, it's God's fault. Okay. And God has been using the devil as a scapegoat for long enough. Okay. Just like a great
Starting point is 00:48:40 Hollywood movie. You don't have a movie unless you have a nemesis. And for some reason, this guy, God is the most, he can create fucking everything, but he can't get rid of the devil. Why doesn't he just get rid of the devil? Is he bored up there? So he sort of lets the devil fucking tempt people and all of that shit. And if anything, isn't he playing with matches? And when he burns down the barn, who's fucking fault is that? All right. God created these bankers and he needs to strike them down or I will continue to watch porn. Um, yeah, it's God's fault. If you believe in God, it's God's fault. If not, it's just we are a defective species that's just smart enough to fuck everything up. All right. Old football guy for old guy. I am an old guy and I love old football, you know,
Starting point is 00:49:33 pre Super Bowl. Any information that I can fucking learn about. I'm reading this book about, uh, you know, the code and NHL hockey. That's all I'm doing. Just reading all these sports books. And I got to look this up. I got to try to find an old school fight from the 40s and 50s. The 40s and 50s, they didn't, if you grabbed another guy's jersey for leverage, they immediately came in and broke up the fight. So what you did is you actually like sort of boxed until you were tired. And then both players would just skate away and go to the, uh, go to the penalty box. So I wonder if there's any footage of that. I got to look that up. All right. Old football guy for old guy. Greetings. You flashback football focused, uh, freckled fuck. It's not a flashback man. It happened. Um,
Starting point is 00:50:17 well, I guess a flashback is you remembering something that happened. All right, you're right. You're right. Okay. Well, you still have some time before the bait while you still have some time before the baby arrives, check out Baltimore Colts, great Gino March, Marchetti. He was 11 time pro bowler and inducted into 1972 Hall of Fame. His New York times obituary included the following story in the waning moments of the 1958 championship game against the Giants football historians say this is the greatest game that was ever played. This is the way this was sold to people. Um, it was a very important game. I don't think it was the greatest game ever played. I think it was the game that put NFL football on the map, um, according to the
Starting point is 00:50:59 NFL, but it might have been the 1951 when the Browns, their first time in the league from the Mickey Mouse league, they wanted, but the NFL didn't want to address it. I don't know. I don't know enough about it. But anyway, he said in the, in the waning moments of the 19th, the obituary says in the waning moments of the 1958 championship game against the Giants in Yankees stadium, he pulled down Frank Gifford inches from her first down, forcing the Giants to give the ball back to the Colts for one last ditch drive quarterback Johnny Unites, who gets credit for inventing the two minute offense, even though Otto Graham only had a minute 40 something left in 1950 and drove down against the fucking Los Angeles Rams and beat them. See, see what happens when you know your
Starting point is 00:51:38 history. You can start arguing even though you can't throw a ball. Um, quarterback Johnny Unites and the Baltimore offense took advantage of the opportunity driving 70 yards for a tying field goal. Um, our Shetty, who broke his leg making the game saving tackle, watched Unites, Unites's heroics from a stretcher on the sidelines, then looked on as running back Alan Amishi. I hope I'm saying these name rights scored eight minutes into overtime to give the Colts the victory in what many still refer, uh, as the greatest game ever played. Maybe because it went into overtime where the, uh, the Cleveland Browns 1950 was a last second field goal kick by who low the toe grows up. All right. Prior to his football career, Marchetti also served as a machine gunner in the
Starting point is 00:52:29 battle of the bulge during World War two. That's when the Germans went up through Belgium, Belgium, and not Belgium, Belgium and, uh, Luxembourg through this, um, terrain that everybody thought was, uh, you couldn't get through unsurpassable or insurpassable, whatever the f**k, how have you said? Uh, I got a lot stronger in the army. You said carrying the 42 pound machine gun all over Germany helped. Jesus Christ. They, they, they just don't make, they don't make men like this anymore. They do, but they don't have an opportunity to do that because I'm sure they got like some, I'm sure Apple makes a machine gun now that's like really light and super thin. Uh, but that wasn't it. Uh, Marchetti's success was not limited to the football field. While a
Starting point is 00:53:14 member of the Colts, he opened a pizza and hamburger stand with the loan from the team's owner. That's how little money they made. Uh, Carol D Rosebloom. Uh, that's back when guys were named Carol, Carol O'Connor, Carol D Rosenbloom. Uh, the place Genos became a Baltimore favorite and eventually grew to more than 450 restaurants in several states in 1982. Marchetti sold the chain for 48.6 million, about 130 million today to the Marriott corporation, which converted many of the restaurants to Roy Rogers fast food outlets. Thanks for the podcast and congrats to you and the misses. Oh, that's f**king great. Dude, any, any more information like this, I love this stuff. Can't get enough of it. All right. This is, this is an interesting one, everybody.
Starting point is 00:54:03 And I actually thought about not reading this because I thought this was a great idea. And I didn't want anybody to steal it, but I also want to encourage this person to go for it. This is called Bible Thumper. Bill, my name is blah, blah, blah. I've been a fan of yours for years. I'm a Bible Thumper. When I've done, when I've done jail ministry, uh, basically giving a sermon in jail, the convicts will start giving, telling their story, basically, and they'll use the word shit. They'll immediately follow with sorry, I didn't mean to cuss. He says, I work in a factory. I was a drill sergeant. Their language doesn't offend me. If I weren't a past, if, if there weren't a pastor in the crowd, I would have replied,
Starting point is 00:54:46 please quit f**king apologizing. We're not in church. We're in a correctional facility. I know exactly what your language is going to sound like the moment you walk out that door. When I get drunk and share Bible stories with junkies and ex-cons, I use potty mouth. Do you realize how brilliant this is? So then what happened? Well, you know, f**king Jesus goes down and he's like, yeah, you know, you cunts want some more fish because I got a f**king basket right here that has never ending. Are you kidding? Um, I would go to this church. The convicts say, dude, if you were to do that on video, every convict in prison in this country would watch your s**t. So I've suggested that my church friends respond with, you'll bury yourself if you do that.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I've watched a routine where you talked about going to church. Your theology is all f**ked up. You know what? I'm too f**king dumb to know what theology, what does theology mean? My world view? All right. You guys know what it means, right? You know what it means. You can look it up. I'll look it up later. Yeah, I won't. Your theology is all f**ked up. I'm sure it is. I don't even know what it is, but I'm sure you're right. That's okay. If you were to push Jesus, which I in no way expect, using street vocabulary, you would be more affected than any of the 40,000 other people pushing their s**t. My position is this. If you want to reach the Chinese, you have to speak Chinese. No matter what demographic you want to reach,
Starting point is 00:56:24 you have to speak to them in their native tongue. If you want to reach the dirty, you have to speak dirty. I was raised by a drunken bartender. He hired me to work in a bar at age 13. I graduated and joined the army infantry. I was a paratrooper. I became a drill sergeant while being a construction worker. I married a nymphomaniac. I satisfied her. This guy's talking crazy s**t. I love this guy. I've worked in a factory for 30 years. I would like to preach in locker room vocabulary. You would do better than me if your theology wasn't so f**ked up. That's the second time. Now that's personal. You quit talking about my theology. I don't know what that is, but I don't like you f**king the first time. You know, I have a warning shot.
Starting point is 00:57:06 I get it. I need to f**king clean up my theology. The second time was personal. He said advice. Oh, wait a second. Hey. Oh, Jesus. From Jesus Christ. What do I think? I think that's a f**king great idea and you should go do it. You should go do it. You should absolutely f**king do it. You could change those people. You know, if you have a good heart, you could help them out and I think you could make a f**kload of money doing that because I for one would buy that f**king DVD. However you do it, just f**king, you know, record them. That's what you want to do. You record them and then you put them up on one of these f**king iTunes things and you just tell these stories we've all heard just with f**king the way I'm talking right now.
Starting point is 00:58:07 And God f**king said you shouldn't f**king lay down with another f**king dude if you're also a f**king dude. You got to clean up some of that s**t, right? You got to get rid of the anti-gay f**king, you know, throw your kid in a bush before you say I don't love God. What a dumb s**t. You put me first. I mean, tell me that didn't come from the f**king church. Is that theology f**ked up? Huh? You pottymouth cunt. Good luck to you, sir. I say you do it. All right. Anger management. Hi, Bill. Long time lady. Listener here. I love when the ladies write when they write in. I'm writing because I've got a bit of an Irish temper. Okay. When somebody says they have a bit of an Irish temper, like that's like a great setup in a movie. If a guy's sitting in a bar,
Starting point is 00:58:56 what's going on with you? I got a bit of an Irish temper and then you just smash cut to them f**king, you know, doing what Brad Pitt did to that chick in the end of f**king that movie there, right? Smash her head against the fireplace, trying to give away the ending. I'm writing because I've got a little bit of an Irish temper. That means she hasn't spoken to her parents since the holidays. And I figured you'd know a little bit about that. Just, I just recently got engaged to this angel of a man. Now let's not take down the Irish air. I'm mostly German. So most of my anger, you know, you know, it has German blood running through it. He's an, he's incredibly patient. I just recently got engaged to this angel of a man. He's incredibly patient and calm.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Opposites attract two things. I am certainly not. I've dealt with anger my entire life. Meditation and exercise help immensely. And I've been able to keep it in check in my career. However, the rage is real. And now that I'm engaged, I don't want the long-term effects to ruin my marriage. I'm sick of watching bullshit YouTube videos on this. So please, from one angry mother f**ker to another, help a girl out. Thanks for all you do. Keep me sane. I would go talk to somebody and what's helped me is whenever I start to raise my voice, my daughter just goes, don't scream like that. And then I go, you're right. You're right, buddy. You're right. And I keep telling my wife to do that. But for some reason she won't.
Starting point is 01:00:27 Because it would make, it would make, if she imitated my daughter, it would make me laugh. And it would, it zaps me out of whatever it is that I'm doing. And I remember like, somebody sent me something that was saying that back in the day, the Greeks thought that anger was temporary insanity. And that really stuck with me. Although I don't, it just, it's, it's, it's like anger. My anger, it's like a volcano in that it's dormant for a while. And then it just, you know, like a dormant volcano, then it comes to life for a little while. And then it's just like, I don't know. I mean, you're basically asking like an addict who's still using how to f*****g stop doing it. I would definitely, I would talk to somebody who isn't angry.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Because all I can do is just relate to your frustration. But that's what I would do. And I would really work on it. And then I would talk to the person you're going to marry and say that I don't want this to be an issue. And, but I need help. Just like an addict says, I need help with this. I can't do this by myself. So I've gotten to the point that when I'm losing my temper in my head, I'm like, Bill, stop doing this, stop doing this. But like, it's like this muscle memory. And I, you know, more times than not continue to the ugly end of it. But you know, I was going for walks, but now I got to grab a mask and all of this s**t. Then I get me even more mad. He f*****g mouth breathing, cunts can't get, he want to twerk on the beach.
Starting point is 01:02:03 You know, it makes me even more upset. So I don't know, you're asking me to help you solve something that I haven't solved in my own life. All right. So if you figure it out, let me know. But I would definitely talk to a professional and talk to the person that you're with. And just tell them that, you know, just let them know the ride that they're signing up for and that you need help. I'm sure you'll be fine. All right. Buying American made products. All right. We're close to a recession, especially with this virus killing people that's, that is 60 or older and some younger people. That's 60. That are 60. All right. And when China shut down months ago, we saw a lot of stuff dwindle in supply. I've recently
Starting point is 01:02:46 found a lot of American made products that we skip over because they are more expensive than the cheap disposable things we buy from China. This is a great thing. Bed sheets, cookware, a few appliances, home decor and sports equipment. These are things we buy and hope to use for a year before needing replacement. So before you fast track an Amazon item, Google it and see if there is an American made counterpart, we'll be supporting our fellow countrymen and women. I love this. I love this. Trump loves this. Make it great again. Plus these American products usually have killer warranties. Here's a link to buy some American made and manufactured stuff. I don't own any of these companies, so don't bust my balls. All right. I'm going to retweet that.
Starting point is 01:03:33 It's buyingamericanblog.com slash made-in-usa-list. Okay. There you are. All right. Overrated. People who hate other people's success. I worked hard to achieve a life greater than that of my friends who are all townies and drink at the same bar. Oh yeah. I'm sure they're happy for you. It's at that point. It's at the point where they actually dislike me now and I have no pity for them. I'm at peace with it now, but it bothered me for years. When I saw Joe Rogan make a large deal for his podcast, oh my God, that was insane. I wasn't mad that he was going to make all that money. Why would you be? I mean, that's one of the most historic deals in Hollywood. This is a guy who left the Hollywood system and
Starting point is 01:04:25 everyone, don't do that, man. Everybody's going to forget about you completely outside the system while sitting right in the middle of it. Master of his own domain and turned around and made that deal. If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what does. Anyways, I wasn't mad that he was going to make all that money. I was happy for him. I think it's because I believe in myself and I see how amazing things can happen. Exactly. People who don't believe in themselves have to dislike it as a defense mechanism because it reminds them that they have something that they need to put to bed. They need to fucking go after anything or whatever. There's a number, a bunch of reasons why. I mean, I've been guilty of hating on people. Everybody's done that, but the older you get,
Starting point is 01:05:13 the more mature you get. You're like, it's like me hating on people going to the beach. It's just because I would love to go down there and take my shirt off and go swimming. Anyway, I wish I knew that this back then, I would have, I would love to have told some of them, wait a minute, people who don't believe in themselves have to dislike it as a defense mechanism. I wish I knew this back then because I would love to have told some of them, I guess meaning the townies, that they are just scared of trying things themselves and they just want me to fail so they can just keep being negative. No, they want you to fail so it makes them feel better about not going after what they want and nothing will bring regret like not going after
Starting point is 01:05:55 what you want. You can forgive yourself. That's how you get past it. You forgive yourself because you didn't know, but then from here on out, you just go for shit. Learn how to bomb. Fuck it. She said no. All right. Well, you asked. You asked her out. She said no. Great. But for the rest of your life, you don't have to worry. What have I asked? You fucking took the test. You failed. Whatever. Take it again. You want to do this job. Go after it. We got it, Bill. We know what it would be. Okay. Sorry. All right. Great. Other songs by bands. Oh, I love this. Okay. Segment. All right. I kind of did that already with the Robert Palmer album. Some people can do what they like. What was the one Spanish moon? I like that song. Is it? Oh, shit. Now that's my like that.
Starting point is 01:06:51 I like that fucking slow fucking 70 dry drum shit. Anyways, where are we? It sounds like porno music. Well, I watch a lot of porn. All right, stone temple pilots. And so I know off of tiny music, songs from the Vatican gift shop. The whole album is amazing. This track is a bit jazzy and more indie rock than normal stone temple pilots. Number two, everyone knows living colors, uh, cultur personality, but the song middleman kicks ass. I've never, I never bought there. I don't know why I never bought their albums. As you imagine, might imagine verney reed shreds criminally underrated guitarist. Yeah, I think that people were so surprised that African-Americans are playing that style of music that they forgot to
Starting point is 01:07:37 kind of listen. They were more staring. I saw Will Calhoun play one time on one of those bonzo bashes and just completely abandoned, uh, what Bonham played and just fucking went off. And I remember at the end of the night going, you know, if Bonham came back and watched everybody doing all of his shit, he would, he would be flattered that everyone wanted to play like him. But the guy that would have really got him going was Will Calhoun because he just fucking went up and made the song his own, which is obviously what John was doing. Um, if I could be so bold to speak for him, which is really a stupid thing to do, but, um, I meant that in a respectful way. All right. I'm a huge pearl jam fan and it frustrates me that people only know the same five songs
Starting point is 01:08:22 that radio shows repeat every day. Listen to you are, listen to you are off of the, the fuck off of the riot act album off of the riot act album. Listen to you are, you are off of the riot act album. Jesus Christ. Capital letters did not help me. You tried to help me. I thought it was you are off. You are off of the riot act album. By far pearl jam at their best. I would also recommend indifference and I got ID. Okay. I left. I don't know much about that band. Carl Douglas known pretty much only for kung fu fighting has far better material on the album, the soul of the kung fu fighter. Oh, kung fu fighting. Not too racist a song. Check out too hot to handle and the rest of that record for that matter. Didn't scratch your bald head
Starting point is 01:09:38 with me while we wonder why he was only known for the first song on that record. Cheers. Love the show. All right. I got one for you. If I can find it, if I can find it, I love the deep cut thing is, is I don't know who came up with this. It was not me. This is the greatest fucking thing ever. All right. What is that song? Dream Weaver by Gary Wright. Is that what is it? Gary Wright. If you get the dream weaver album, okay, I would sell it. There's 123456789123456789 tracks. I would put dream weaver maybe is the sixth best track on that. I mean, this guy, he tried to make an album because everything was so guitar oriented. He wanted to make an album that had no guitar. So it's all keyboards, but it's what's weird, but the keyboards sound like guitar.
Starting point is 01:10:37 Either way, it's a killer album. And I forget the drummer's name on this one. This is the same album. Where the fuck is Hang on. Here's another one. That's that's called love is alive. The fuck is going on my god computer here. Bitch. What was the fun? I got to find out the drum on that one. See, I love that dry sound. You can fucking hear the drums. You can hear the ghost notes. You can't hear all that fucking shit in the 80s. I just I never was into that. We got it, Bill. You're not into it. All right. I'm not into it. You're not a producer either. All right. Gary Wright, drummer, it's some of the most tasty fucking
Starting point is 01:11:42 shit. Come on, you fucking content performers. Andy Newmark. Andy Newmark fucking kills it on that album. Fucking kills it. All right. There you go. All right. I got to go. I got to go watch my kid here. By the way, she fucking crushed one right over the fucking wall. Like Mack Maguire. No steroids in the lefty. I got to who's who's who's a great left handed power hitter, Reggie Jackson, Reggie, all natural Jackson, three home runs in one World Series game. Okay, that's the podcast, everybody. Mouth breathers keep going to the beach, man. Let us know how safe or dangerous it is. You know, if it's safe, then you know what that means? Mouth breathers, you figured it out and you're smarter than the CDC. All right. Make it great again. Go down to the
Starting point is 01:12:45 beach, get in the water, cut yourself, shave and get in the water. See what happens. Sharknado seven. The COVID crisis. All right. All right, fuckers. I'll talk to you later.

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