Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 5-31-21

Episode Date: May 31, 2021

Bill rambles about the Real Housewives, passive aggressiveness, and prenups.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, May 31st. Flying through this year. 2021, what's going on? How are you? How's it going? I hope you're good. I hope you're doing well and all of that shit. I'm doing pretty good here. Oh, man, something happened to me this fucking morning that I swear to God, man. Back in the day, all right, meeting about fucking six months ago. Oh, I would have carried this one. Oh, I would have carried this one. If there's one thing I cannot fucking stand. It's a passive aggressive cunt. And you know what sucks is for some reason, when I'm on stage, if someone tries to pull that shit or play the victim or whatever, I don't know what it is.

I'm fucking locked in. And very rarely does it get past me. But the second I get off stage, I am to fuck. I mean, you can just all day long. I'm a day late and a dollar short. By the time I figure out, wait a minute, that person was being a fucking asshole. I fucking I got to get better at that shit. Listen to this, right? So I'm hanging out with my daughter. We're having a great time. We're riding bikes and all that type of stuff. And she goes, Hey, can you take me to this park in this park? She likes is, you know, it's a ways away. We went there the other day. There was a bunch of traffic, yada, yada, yada. So I go, Hey, why don't we go if we're going to drive that far? You know, let's go over to this other place, right? It has these fucking rides and all of this shit,

right? So like an idiot, I forgot that it was Sunday. And I also forgot that it was more real day weekend. So I go over there and anybody with a kid is just there and they're just to the ticket booth is like a fucking, it looks like an hour long line, right? Hour and a half, hour, hour and a half, right? And you know, but you know, once the kid sees the ride, it's it's fucking over, you can't be like, you know, you can't be like, Oh, you know, the lines are too long, we're gonna come back tomorrow the next day they they're not having it. So I'm like, All right, here we go. One of these dad things. All right, so I stand in this fucking line and we're standing there, standing there, standing there, standing there, finally get the fucking tickets, then you get the tickets,

and then you're standing there, standing there, all of this shit. Finally got to go on some rides and stuff like that, or whatever. We have a good time. I get I get a little fucking snow cone. And we're walking back to the car as we go to get to the car. There's this couple just rushing. I mean, like they robbed a bank, they put their bicycles on top of the car or whatever, they had the doors open, they're glancing at me, and they're right next to my car. All right. So I open up, you know, the kid seat, you're supposed to have the kid seat in the same side you drive, because they say God forbid somebody comes at you, there's a tendency to save yourself just instinctually, and you don't want to turn the car broadside and have him T bone your kid. So you want to your kid

to be with you getting the fuck out of the way. So, you know, I see the woman sort of clocked me trying to get in there, and she's, you know, doing her shit, right? They close up there, they're really rushing to get the fuck out of there, right? So I'm like, all right, whatever, you know, when I open the door, and I'm putting my kid in, and the guy walks by me, he goes, we're about to leave. He looks at me, he goes, we're about to leave. You know, as I'm opening the door, fucking face all red, sweaty, cunt, right? And I fucking, I'm thinking like, all right, so I close the door, you know, so they can get past, and I got in the other side of the car to like strap her into thing, and they're like backing up. He sort of looks at me, you know,

of course, he's not driving, his wife is fucking pussy, right? And they drive away, and then it just hits me like, we're about to leave. What the fuck does that mean? I'm about to put my kid in the car, you fucking cunt. We're about to leave. What the fuck does that mean? Right? So now I'm fucking driving the car. I don't give a fuck you're about to leave. What the fuck is we're about to leave? Somebody for fucking, for the love of God, explain to me what the fuck we're about to leave means. That means don't open the fucking door. I want to back out. I don't want to fucking wait for you because I got shit to do. Right? Oh, stupid freckles, figures this out after he gets out of the way, like I work for the guy. Oh, God, you ever watch sports and they got, you know,

he really, he really wishes he could have that one back. Once you guys write me into moments like this, you wish you could have it back. What you did or what you said and what you wished you did and what you wish you said, because this is what I wish I didn't wish I would I wish I said, oh, Jesus, we're about to leave. I wish I said, yeah, I'm about to put my kid in the car. What are you telling? What am I supposed to be documenting what you're about to do with your red sweaty face? Why don't you sit down before you see, I can't say because my kid was there. This is what I'd say my kid wasn't there. You know, my kid couldn't hear if he had the fucking ear much like Vince Vaughn and fucking old school. We're about to leave. Yeah, I'm about to put my

kid in the fucking car. All right, you sweaty cunt. Why don't you get in your fucking car and shut the fuck up and when I'm done, you fucking back up. Oh, God, that fucking pissed me off after, after, but in the moment, what did I do? Okay, like close the fucking door and I got around. He fucking gives me a look as he fuck. He's giving me a look. Jesus Christ, that fucking pissed me off. And here's the thing, but here's the fucking thing. Okay, if I said what the fuck I wanted to say, or really what my temper makes me say, because he reminds me of people from my childhood, that's what's really going on there. What I, what I, if I said, well, whatever, I'm going to put my kid in the car, you sweaty fucking

cunt, then everybody looking at me is like, I can't believe the guy just snapped like that. He just said that in front of his kid and then I'm the fucking asshole. Right. And that's what I hate about passive aggressive people. We're about to leave. We're about to leave. And he's watching me put a child in the car and he's such a selfish cunt. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't want to deal with me opening the door and then have him to slowly back out of the fucking space. Dude, you should have seen them rushing out of there. It was like the, they found out, you know, they've been stealing money and the feds were about to get to their house. They were trying to beat them there so they could start shredding documents. So I guess empathetically,

maybe they had some way to be. I don't know. But there was no please. Hey, sorry, man. What about to leave? Is there anything just like back? I know you put your kid in. I'm really sorry. It's just we're late. Just something like that. We're about to leave. What the fuck is wrong with me that that's all they needed to say to me? And I turned into like his fucking servant. Fucking can't stand passive aggressive people like that. I, they fucking annoy, as you can tell, annoy the shit on me, which is why this week I'm watching the real housewives of Potomac because I finally just given in that like, you know, I, you know, what am I going to do? She's not going to stop watching these shows. I might as well start watching, right?

So over the years, when I've been watching these fucking lunatic chicks screaming and yelling each other and just saying the worst fucking shit you could possibly say to another human being, what has always pissed me off is when finally somebody lunges across the fucking table to give somebody the fucking beatdown they so richly deserve. A bunch of people come in and break it up before it can even go down. It takes me all the way back to when whatever the fuck flavor called that blonde chick spit in Miss New York's face and then just turned around like nothing was going to happen. Cause you know why? Cause she's never gotten her ass kicked. That's how fucked up that chick was. She spit in another human being's face and didn't jump back.

She just did an about face like she made a good point and started to walk away and Miss New York was about to snatch her by her fucking hair and then all these other people came in to break it up and they let her get away with it. They let her get away with that level of fucking behavior. And that's why I don't watch that shit. Cause it drives me up. I fucking hate passive aggressive people. Guess what? Guess what? The thing that I always wanted to have happened happened. This fucking chick, I forget her name. She looks like lady from Lady in the Tramp, right? She looks just like that carcass spaniel is just being a fucking asshole. Passive aggressive though. Doesn't have the courage to just be an asshole is being a passive

aggressive asshole. Now in defense of her, I kind of came in on this episode, but I see this fucking clip where she's over the other woman's house. She's hugging her husband. The other woman's pretending Monique is pretending to be a sleep. Okay. Now I would think as a woman, if you just hug somebody's husband and the other ones pretending to go to sleep, it doesn't even say goodbye. You cross some sort of line and maybe you ought to fucking tone it down or have a talk, but she doesn't. She doesn't. So they go out to this fucking, I don't know what it was. It looked like a set. It was allegedly a fucking wine bar. I don't know what. And they're out there and they're fucking, you know, drinking wine, having some cheese. Everybody's

got their little outfits on. And the lady, the lady there, lady, the fucking carcass spaniel starts fucking yipping at the Monique check, right? And it's just going and going and going. And then the little carcass spaniel who for whatever reason is wearing a leopard print starts prancing around. What are you going to drag me again? I guess that means get your kick my ass. Drag me going to drag me, right? So Monique chick goes, yeah, I'll drag and she flips her fucking little fucking carcass spaniel ears hanging down, right? She gives them a couple of fucking flips, which is a clear warning of, you know, this is America. There's three strikes and you're out. She did one flip, two flips, right? America's past time. Take me out to the ball game,

right? And then I don't know what happened. I think whatever her name she grabbed Monique. And then that was it. That was fucking it. And I'm going to tell you something right now. I don't know how many people were trying to pull Monique off of off of this Disney star. But they needed another whatever times two or whatever they had because she fucking grabbed her, slammed her face down onto this table and was just bam, bam, bam to the back of the head. I want to say it was open hand. I hope it was close, but it was open handed. And then when the beating was done, she just held her down on the table. And this was the funny thing. There was all these people going Monique, Monique, let her go, let her go. And she would

not let her go. It looked like you ever see like when a hawk is standing on a pigeon and it's just standing there with its claws in it and the pigeons fucking like flutter. She could not get up. And there were men trying to pull her off. There was nothing they could do. And she was just holding down on this fucking table, right? She was letting her think about it. Okay. Think about why the back of your head's throbbing right now. And now you need to fucking cool off smelling this fucking foot cheese that we're eating with this wine, right? She had a really good on the fucking thing, right? And also she plowed through a wine glass in her face and with some wine and all that. So then, right? They finally pull her off. Somebody got real dramatic. Monique, let her go. Got real

fucking dramatic, right? So she's escorted off this bullshit set and brought into another room. Okay. And then, you know, the cocker span, you'll check she gets up. All right. Now look, she got her ass kicked. Now there's different kinds of ass kick kicks. All right. There's the, you didn't do shit. You're just in the wrong place. The wrong time he got jumped. There's the, hey, we're going to fight today after school. You both know it's a fight and you lose. And then there's what I called is an educational ass kicking. And that's what she got. She learned a lesson that eventually, you talk to someone like me, you're going to get away with it. I'll fucking sit in the car as you back out like a fucking idiot. But eventually you're going to run into

somebody who knows what you're doing and is going to show you why that's wrong, right? So they escort Monique off. All right, the cocker span, your lady from the Disney movie, right? She looks great, man. She looks the exact same age as back when they drew her all those years ago. She fucking gets up and the first thing she does because now Monique is away from her and in the other room, she starts barking again. She's like, you get a ass, man, all this fucking shit. And Monique, by the way, who I got to tell you, she probably weighs a hundred fucking pounds. Okay. But I would not want to be that she's got grip strength. I don't know if she does pull-ups. I don't know what she does at the gym. But when she had this woman down on the table,

there wasn't anything that woman, the entire cast or the whole crew could fucking do about it until she decided that that woman was going to was held down enough, right? So now she's in the room and this woman's of course, you know, barking, ghetto, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And then she starts, she's very calmly, which is, which made it really scary. She just goes open the door and there was this fucking producer guy, I'm not, I can't open the door. Monique, you have to stay in here. She's going open the door. Oh, let me out because I'm going to kill this bitch, right? Yeah, because, you know, she tried to give her an education, evidently, she needs some extra help. There's going to be round two. And I'm like, just let her, and I'm sitting there just watching the TV, like, let her go,

let her go. This is fucking great. It's like I'm watching wrestling. She went back to the dresser, I'm not, she's going to come back out and give her the fucking I don't know what superfly snooker, the DDT, whatever your favorite finishing move was. So she is so like just that switch was thrown that I am going to fucking kill this woman that when the dude, the producer, I can't let Kelly, she just went down the stairs, went around the entire facility. And when they were escorting lady, you know, from the classic lady in the trap, escorting over the van, she tried to push through like two dudes. I don't know what happened. She was out there in the high heels too. And it was like she was pushing a tackle sled and it was moving backwards.

And so anyway, that was the fight. And at this point, this is my first, first episode I ever watched, I am like, I fucking love this show. I love this show. But then what the, what, what happened was the next episode, they had this, I know, and I know I'm real late. This was like a couple of years ago, whatever, right? They had this big sit down with Monique, all of the other women, right? And I could not fucking believe it. None of them took her side. Not one of them. They all just like, there is no reason to put your hands on a woman or something, all of this fucking shit. It's like, what are you talking about? It's like, that's what you say to a man. There's no reason for a guy to do it. Okay, you're a man, don't touch a woman. But, you know,

there was a girl on girl action there. That was a fucking level playing field. She came walking in. I don't, I don't, what was the problem? They were both looking at each other. They was a little push shove, little push shove. And then it happened. And then she lost. She fucking lost. And these chicks were just fucking, they didn't bring up the other ones, passive aggressive, all the fucking shit, all the yep, and all the fucking stuff she was doing. All they talked about was, was the fact that this other one beat the shit out of her. I just was beside myself, watch it. First of all, what the one who shows up who thinks she's like the Beyoncé of the crew was fucking hilarious. They showed up to somebody's house, right? Show up to this woman's house,

right? To have this discussion. And it's fucking hilarious. She showed up with security. This is the woman who was not even in the fight. She showed up with security because she so couldn't deal with this other woman being on the fucking show, right? She showed up with security, driving a mini Cooper with a security person in the fucking passenger seat. And then they come into the house and she has him sit in the kitchen like he's having like a timeout or something. I, she, I don't know. I don't want to get it because I know right now you guys like Bill, I thought you're going to break down the Bruins game one went against the Islanders. I'll try to cut to the chase here. All I know is that they were all just,

it was just all of this shit. You don't put your hands on anybody for any reason ever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you doing this, how this makes black women look? I mean, I don't know. Does that, I mean, I'm not going to speak for other people. I can just say as a white guy, watching a bunch of reality shows and seeing people that have deserved beat downs over the years, I was so fucking thrilled when it finally happened. And then the next fucking day when lady there, whatever of Candice, whatever her fucking name is, fucking is now playing the victim. You know what she did? She put on her little college sweatshirt, you know, to show that, oh, I'm just a little college girl and boo, boo, boo. She did that. She did that.

She did that fucking passive aggressive move. Oh, oh, did I just happen to have my university sweatshirt on that I am an alma mater of? Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. You ran your yap and you got your fucking ass kicked and you deserved it. And all those other fucking ladies on the show, they can all go fuck themselves. They can all go fuck themselves, you know. And then, you know, something I actually saw a clip because I wanted to see what the fallout of it was. Because like two of them be like, I would press charges. I love that lady fucking getting security. It's like, lady, your head outweighs this woman. What are you fucking worried about? It's so ridiculous how into the show I got, but then I found out

she leaves the show. So fuck that show. And I'm not going to slowly watch them just break it down. You know, I don't know. I for the life of me, I was like, I was beside myself watching that episode when every fucking one of them sided with the other woman. And I was saying, and yeah, I go, am I out of my fucking mind here? And she goes, um, I think it's very you to defend Monique. What the fuck does that mean? I'm going to file that in the we're about to leave. That new segment about passive aggressive people, it's called we're about to leave. For the we're about to leave fucking segment. Let me know what, uh, what, what somebody did to you. But I thoroughly fucking enjoyed that. And she didn't hurt the

other woman. Okay. She helped her out. She helped her out because, you know, the next time she does some shit like that, there's not going to be a fucking camera crew around to break it up. And then she could really get hurt, you know, but sometimes some of those people are really, I used to have a friend of mine, the fucking shit he used to do. And I predicted it for fucking a decade and a half. I go, dude, you got a fucking ass kick and coming your way. And I'm going to, I don't want to be the guy in the middle. Okay. Cause I don't know what your fucking deal is, but you just love picking on the biggest guy in the bar. Don't you? Some guy who could fucking punch you through my fucking head.

Stop doing that. Right. This guy was a lunatic. I remember one time we were in fucking traffic and he's such a fucking, this is way back in the day. I'm talking like 30 years ago, we're stuck in traffic and he was such a competitive lunatic. There was some guy riding a Harley's splitting lanes. Okay. And this is back when fucking lunatics rode Harleys, not just somebody who watched, uh, Sons of Anarchy, right? This was a fucking legit outlaw looking dude, right? And he's splitting lanes and this dude fucking, he opened his door, started to, and then closed it. And I just, I think I had the bike. He just goes, I wouldn't do that if I was you. Just like, I was, uh, I suppose someone was like, dude, do you understand you

don't know how to fight? You don't know how do you fight and you're fucking with some guy in a fucking, I know you guys got to have friends like that, but there's an art form to it. Dude, I got to stand up, buddy of mine. I've actually talked about it on podcast, but I want you guys to start giving him shit. He used to fucking do that. He was the master of fun. I don't know what would happen. He get into a bar and you'd be there like, I don't know, a couple, two, three rounds. And next thing you know, he's John was some fucking mountain of a man across the bar. And he had this thing where he would talk shit backing up and he create this vacuum. And then you just find yourself standing between him and some guy who could beat the

living shit out of you. It's just like, oh God, he's such a fucking asshole. And then the worst thing was he would own up to it afterwards. I'd be outside the bar going, dude, what the, what are you, what are you fucking mind? This is like a long time ago. I'm like, I'm fucking 38 years old. I don't want to, I could barely fight when I was 20. What the fuck? And I go, you don't even know how to fight. He would just be like, I know that I couldn't be mad at him. And I would just laugh. And I would be like, stop fucking doing that. Oh my God, dude, he got into it one time with a homeless guy, one of these fucking lunatics, like carrying a tree branch, like fucking crazy, fucking dude. And he was just one of these guys, anybody who walked by the homes guys like, ah,

fuck you. You know, it's not personal. You don't even know if he sees you, this fucking idiot. Next to you know, this guy's fucking hobbling over with this tree branch. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? So anyway, for years, I have predicted that people like that, I've always told them, I say, listen, man, you have a fucking ass kick and coming at a serious fucking ass kick and coming your way. And it's been my experience that it's, it's just not true. They don't, they don't. And I really feel that that woman who I teased or whatever, I'm not saying she looks like a dog, but it just was, I'm just upset that no one took the other one's side. The other housewife side. I just, I don't know.

I just feel like, I don't know how to describe it. It just drives me up the fucking wall. And there is a thing though, that I talked to my wife about when you watch those real housewife shows, like women live, I think a lot of them live by that fucking rule of that, I guess you don't put your hands on somebody else, right? And when you watch the real housewives and you listen to the shit that they say to each other, to each other, that's why there needs to be fighting and hockey. Like people are always like, why do they let them fight? It's like, because if they didn't, it would be like the real housewives, except it's men and they have clubs in their hands.

And somebody's going to get fucking killed. So what you have to have is that guy in the motorcycle guy, I wouldn't do that if I was you. You got to have that out there. The genius of those shows, you get a bunch of women in the room as they know, for the most like, you know, I think this will probably come off as sexist here. But I mean, look what you're talking to, I think the reason why guys get along better is because we know that an ass kicking is on the table at all times. Okay, no matter how much, you know, of a dick you are, you, there is a line, you know, there's a line, even my fucking, you know, passive aggressive friends that I have, they know there's a line, that's why they're backing

up. They're not walking toward, they're backing up because they know this guy's going to fucking kill me. But now I, you know, I got, I got to do a little bravado shit to save my fucking, you know, manhood hit or whatever. But like, I really feel like because, you know, like maybe that's why I didn't say anything that guy, we're about to leave. And it's like, oh, you know, I'm putting, I'm about to put a kid in the car, you sweaty fucking cunt. Now, I don't know what this guy does. How do I know he's not some retired dojo master? The next thing you know, I'm seeing in the underside of my car is the last thing I remember. See flips me upside down. So that's the thing, like, and I think what those shows, because there's no enforcer,

there's no Bob Probert, you know, patrolling the seas that shit just fucking gets out of hand. And it was so nice to finally see somebody who just deserved a fucking ass kick and just get it. I loved it. I fucking loved it. Great show. But now I heard she left. So I'll fuck that show. Whatever. But if you're a hockey fan, you know, and if you don't like real house wives, watch that episode. And I'm telling you, like a bird of prey, she just fucking held her down on that sticky table. All right, accidentally hit stop. I was trying to see how much time I did there. All right, let's let's talk Bruins. The big bad Bruins win game one versus the New York Islanders. It was a an incredible game through about two periods. Then the Bruins blew blew it

open in the third period. But my takeaways after the first period, I was texting with a buddy of mine, he goes, What do you think it was one to one? I said, I was like, Well, I think the Islanders it's very, very evenly matched. I think the Islanders might be a little bit faster. But for some reason, I think we have a little more experience. So hopefully, that's going to be the difference in the series. But I was telling another buddy of mine, I was putting some money on the game, I'll go and this is like so evenly matched. I want us, you know, I almost feel like game one's a must win because I don't see either team blowing a lead, a series lead, you know, if they're up a game on you, I just don't see them blowing a series lead. All right,

which I will get to with another fucking team in the NHL that's driving me up the wall. But anyways, Pasternak had a hat trick. Just two of his goals, the patience that the man has with the puck, Taylor Hall on the third one, creating traffic out front. He's just been playing great. And he's been just been such a factor that he's out on the ice and gives us two legit lines and has to kind of make the other team decide how they're going to match up against us. I think he's opening it up for our top line. And I thought Tuka played great. You know, I got a little nervous when Grizzlic went down, but he came back like a fucking champ. Because I guess Miller is still out. So we're going to be getting a little

a little fucking thin on defense. But Charlie McAvoy, I love that he fucking bodied that guy, threw him down on the fucking ice as much as I loved his goal. I think he's really starting to use his size physically too, which is great to see. And he's still just a kid. And I just think he's got such an amazing career ahead of him. So we shall see. Having said that, the great Joe Bartonik, let me know that the abs are the team to beat this. Obviously with each round, it's going to get harder and harder. So we'll see what happens. I think this is going to go like one of those back and forth, back and forth, back and forth throughout the whole thing. And hopefully we'll come out on top. But the Islander

has got a really good, really good team and a great coach who just won a cup with fucking Washington a few years ago. So a huge, huge win. All right. And with that, let's talk about the fucking goddamn motherfucking Toronto Maple Leafs. I swear to fucking God, I don't know, when did I take on the misery of this franchise? I just, you know what it is? It's, it's how much I hate the Montreal Canadiens. I just know that the Leafs having any success would add to the misery of Montreal Canadian fans as they now are almost 30, 30 years in on the curse of Patrick Watt. They booed him out of the building because they thought their next Ken Dryden was coming or whatever the fuck they thought. They forgot there was 30 teams in the

league and it wasn't like the old days when there was only six teams or six in the expansion, six or whatever. If you really look at the Canadians dominance, it fucking ended. It fucking ended right when they brought in all of those fucking teams from the IHL. That was it. There was too many fucking teams. It just ended. And ever since then they've won two cups and they used to win two cups every fucking three years. They were incredible, fucking incredible. So anyway, I start rooting for the Leafs because I always, I always root for, you know, I rooted for the Kansas City Royals, the fucking, the, the, the capitals, the fucking Cubs. Anytime there's somebody they're going to, they're going to end a long streak and not fucking winning unless they're

playing my team. I root for them. Okay. So I see, I watch game four, the fucking Leafs win. It's three games to one, but I've been watching the Leafs long enough that even I knew when I tweeted, I just said, Hey, there's something going on really interesting in a certain Canadian city that this Bruins fan is finding interesting or whatever I said, because I didn't want to jinx them. Doesn't fucking matter. Doesn't fucking matter. The series was three to one. Okay. Game five, they can close it out. Okay. It goes into overtime. They give it up in their own end. Canadians win. Now it's three games to two. Last night I watched the game. I missed the game before I watched the game last night. Okay. You know, slipping back

and forth, you know, between the bars, mainly watching the Bruins, obviously, but it's like, wow, the Bruins going to win game one. And I'm going to see Toronto close out the fucking Montreal Canadians, right? They fucking, they're down. All of a sudden I flip back. It's two to nothing. Canadians. I'm like, Oh my God, not again. Not a fucking get right. Then, you know, whatever the Bruins are fucking doing well as a commercial break, I flip back. I see Toronto's bench is going nuts. And I see that it's two to one. And I'm sitting and looking like, did they just make it two to two or is it two to one? It's like two to one. I'm like, fuck, there's like six minutes left. I'm flipping back and forth and flipping back and forth. And then

all of a sudden they fucking score. They tie it up to two. They going into overtime. They're going to end it in Montreal. Let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. What do they do? They play a great overtime. And then they give it up in their own end. And one of those fucking shots that just gets deflected knuckleball. Was that a knuckleball? I think that one. I think the last two, the one that beat Kerry Price. Great goal tender. Just clipped the defenseman skate. And at that point, it's like, yeah, like trying to hit a fucking knuckleball. They just miss it. So now it is three games to three. And as you're listening to this, game seven will be tonight. Okay. And I haven't given up hope because I know that the Maple Leafs eventually are going to get over

this hump. And when they do, they're not going to make it easy on their fans. They're not just going to beat the fucking Canadians. They're going to have to almost fuck it up. And then they're going to do it. And I think that they are going to do it. I feel like they got enough you know, I think they got enough in the tank. I think they have enough stars. I don't think like last year where they were just like sort of top heavy where they just had all this offense and no defense. I'm praying to God, I'm praying to God, because I'll tell you right now, if they fucking lose this series, and I was the mayor of Toronto, I would buy, I don't know what the city is built on top of, but like they need some sort of poltergeist woman to come in there. The biggest,

I don't know, bundle of sage to be burned. Something has to happen. Something has got to fucking happen. But you know, when they beat them in Montreal a few games back, that's the first, they were like, that's the first time they've beaten the Canadians in a playoff game in Montreal since 1967. My old ass was born in 68. So my entire life, they've never done that. Now granted, you know, they haven't met in the playoffs since 1980. And they were in a different conference for almost fucking 20 years, 20 seasons at least. So you know, it is what it is. But I cannot tell you how hard I'm pulling for the fucking Leafs, because part of the Stanley Cup tradition is becoming seeing that shot of all of those Maple Leaf fans standing

outside. What is it? I forget the name of it, where they play the new Maple Leaf Gardens, right? Standing outside that fucking place, excited waving towels going crazy in the beginning, and then watching it slowly slip away until it's just this grassy knoll of like fucking 18 fans scattered across it. It's just the saddest, it's like, there's two fucking things. If you want to see something sad every year, watch the Maple Leafs blow it in the playoffs and watch somebody, watch the Masters. You know, watch the Masters on the final day and you have, you have like a, but both things, you have a chance of seeing just the ultimate sports fucking meltdown. Anyway, looks like stuff is opening up. I'm very excited. Looks like my tour is a go.

I cannot wait. I did stand up at the comedy store on Friday night, went down there and worked on some shit, fucked around. And I just, you know, just seeing comics, seeing the wait staff, everybody else, you know, just Richie, everybody down there was just fucking awesome and I cannot wait. It looks like we're finally on the other side of this. Get out there, people make some money, come out, have a good time and go see some orange bald idiot like me, would be great. All right, that's it with that. Let's, let's do a little bit of the advertising and see what we got here. All right. Bambi, when running a business, HR issues can kill you, can kill you. HR, human resources.

That's such a cold name, human resources. Wrongful termination suits, minimum wage requirements, labor regulations. You can't stick that child in there to fucking lift up that heavy stuff. These damn regulations and HR manager salaries aren't cheap, an average of $70,000 a year. Bambi, spelled B-A-M-B-E-E was created specifically for small, all right, this is for small businesses. Okay, here we go. This was to help out corporations. I was like, they already lawyer it up. You can get a dedicated HR manager, craft HR policy and maintain your compliance all for just $99 a month. With Bambi, you can change HR from your biggest liability to your biggest strength. Your dedicated HR manager is available by phone, email, or real time chat

from onboarding to terminations. They customize your policy. Wait a minute. Well, I guess if you get hired online to work at some local deli, then they can fire you online? That wouldn't be weird. Anyway, they customize your policies to fit your business and help you manage your employees day to day, all for just $99 a month, month to month, no hidden fees, cancel any time. You didn't start your business because you wanted to spend time on HR compliance. Let Bambi help. Get your free HR audit today. Go to Bambi.com-Bur right now to schedule your free HR audit. That's Bambi, B-A-M-B-E-E, like Bambi, the insect, dot com slash bur, spelled BAM, uh, to the B-E-E dot com slash bur. Oh, they went a little, uh, Whitney Houston, hell to the

know. BAM to the B-E-E dot com slash bur. All right. And lastly, but not leastly, it's policy genius. Summers here, guys, and days are getting longer, meaning you've got some, you got some extra time to see if you're overpaying for home and auto insurance. As adults, summer fun includes saving money. Policy genius is a free and easy way to check if you could be saving cash on what you're paying for home and, on what you're paying for home and auto insurance. Are your home and auto policies almost up for renewal? Let policy genius look for a lower rate for you. Christ, you're throwing money away. Policy genius makes it easy to compare home and auto insurance in one place. They can help you find home and auto coverage similar to what you have now, but at a lower price, price,

sorry, they've saved customers an average of $1,250 per year over what they were paying for home and auto insurance. Their team will handle the paperwork to set your new policy, to set up your new policy or switch over your current one. How it works. Getting started is easy. First, head to policygenius.com and answer a few quick questions about yourself and your property. The policy, then policy genius takes it from there. They'll compare rates from Americans, top insurers from progressive to all state to find your lowest quotes. The policy genius team can look for ways to save you more, including bundling your home and auto policies. If they find a better rate than what you're paying now, they'll switch you over for free. Their top-notch

service has earned policy genius an excellent rating on trust to pilot. Head to policygenius.com to get started right now. If you're dumb like me, you don't know how to spell genius. I'll spell it out. Policy, P-O-L-I-C-Y, genius, G-E-N-I-U-S. When it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right. Now, last week, somebody asked me about a prenup. I forget what the fuck I said, but you listeners did not agree with me. So, here we go. Prenups, decent argument. Hey, Billy, blank balls. What do you mean, blank balls? I just had a fucking kid. How dare you. Late in the game, too. Not a lady here, but I have recently heard a good argument in favor of prenups when extreme wealth is involved. I gotta be honest with you, I kind of feel like in the

future, as women start to make the same amount of money as men, then they're going to be all about prenups because we know how it works with them, right? We know how it works with them. They have to be happy. So, if all of a sudden, enough women start fucking having to pay fucking child support and alimony, they're going to be like, wait, wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We need to take a look at what's going on here, right? Ladies, right? They're going to do that shit. But that doesn't exist right now. So anyway, firstly, the argument shies away from the situation where a lack of trust is present between the partners. Rather, it presents the real risk of predatory family members of which they may have and lack

control over. Oh, so you take the focus off of her and put it on her fucked up family. How does that work? These people come out of the woodwork and can destabilize newlyweds where extreme wealth is involved. Prenup for situations like these can probably be the difference between lasting marriages and divorces within a year. Also, many prenups have degenerative qualities that make them meaningless after X amount of years. Thanks a lot for everything. Yeah, I don't know what you're saying, but there's a lot of loopholes in that. But I guess you can do it. I don't know. You should have like a prenup that protects whatever you had before you got together. Because how it works is whatever you did while you're with that person, they get all the credit,

which is hilarious. It's fucking hilarious. If they weren't at your job doing the shit, it's fucking hilarious. Well, I was at home watching the kids. Well, I could have fucking hired a nanny, a full time fucking nanny that wouldn't, you know, at the end of her time working with me, want to take half of whatever the fuck I created at work. All right, prenups, dear Bill, you pale Irish redheaded bitch boy, Jesus Christ. I heard your response to the guy who wrote in about the prenup and you have it all wrong as usual. Maybe I do that on purpose to keep listeners. Sure, there are women who you refer to as predators, but that's not the norm. How the fuck do you know? Do you date women?

What's more, I'm assuming this is a woman. I shouldn't do that. What's more likely to happen is this guy will continue to kill it with his business and years of resentment will slowly build about some bullshit like they do in all marriages and things will fall apart. That's not her being a predator. That's just life. Wait a second. Wait a second. So, if one person is killing it in the marriage and the other person resents them for it, that's not the resentful person needing to work on themselves. That's just life. Are they ever held responsible for anything? Jesus Christ. It's like, how many guys does Wilson have to hit on the ice and still get the fucking capitals on a fucking power plate? It's unbelievable.

That's not her being a predator. Just life. So, this poor bastard will work his tail off, giving her a great life and she'll be pissed about some bullshit and things will fall apart. Either way, this guy is getting screwed, I guess. I make way more money than my wife and resent her every day for it. So, I guess that shit goes both ways. Oh, you resent her? Yeah, because you're still this like, dude, I know what you're talking about. Better advice would have been don't get married before you're 40. Well, I at least did that. Also, Boston is a dirty place and go fuck yourself. I actually have a fucking theory that I think women always look for a problem in the relationship because it's how they maintain a sense of control. Because if it's just going well

and you're doing well and you don't have anything to work on, or you guys don't have anything to work out, I think they feel like there's no connection there. You're going to get bored or whatever. But, you know, my wife is amazing, but I've even had to have those conversations. It's like, can I go three days without being in the doghouse? I mean, what is the fucking problem? Look at that flat screen TV. Huh? What is the fucking problem? I tell shit jokes and we get to live here. What is the problem? I don't, sorry. And then they do that. And then, you know, everything's great. You're fucking sharing a malt, you know what I mean? Or some spaghetti to bring back lady in the

tramp and then like fucking three days later. Okay. You just want to just stick them in a hamper, close the lid. Dirty Harry. Dear Billy, color truck burr. I am from India. What's going on? I fucking love you people. That's like progressive and offensive all at the same time. I was just thinking about you guys today. You guys meeting people from India. How much fun I had over there. What like next level ball breakers you are. Oh, I know what it was. I saw yet another white chick bitching or whatever. And I would, I have like this theory, you know, it's not even a theory. It's like actually a fact. Like the more oppressed you are, the funnier you are. You just fucking funny, you know, white women, generally speaking, they're not really breaking

up the party. Like over India. Everybody over there packed in like sardines. You guys were fucking hilarious. Oh, I divide on this podcast. I am from India and I have been a huge fan of the podcast, which is what is keeping me sane in these times. Heard you mentioned the dirty, dirty Harry's that by the way, when I say white women, I'm not talking about comedians before you guys try to turn this into some shit. I'm just talking about, you know, the white broads in the crowd just getting all offended and all of that crap. And I'm not talking about all of them. I'm just talking about the loud ones. Heard you mentioned dirty, mentioned the dirty Harry series in the last episode and was wondering whether you knew it was based on a true story. And he

writes, yeah, it's about the Zodiac killer and how the police tried to solve the mystery. And also other such cases from the past, from 1981 Germany in 1972, Victoria, Australia, the Callahan character in dirty Harry seeks out a psycho killer, serial killer, like the Zodiac killer in the movie as well. That movie was shot in 1970. When was the Zodiac killer? I don't even know. You also see the dirty Harry movie being referenced in the Zodiac movie, which came out in 2007. Also, since you mentioned the 40 drives and dirty Harry thought you might find it cool to know about Clint Eastwood's car collection, I would actually, and I had it wrong, that that Plymouth satellite that he drove through the front of the fucking

liquor store in the beginning was, that was just a car he trashed. He drove another Ford. I forget what it was in the, what was that one called the enforcer? Clint Eastwood's car collection will make your day. All right, let me see it. Ford Roadster, 1932. Is he a Ford guy? Just when I couldn't love this guy anymore. Lincoln K series convertible, 1937. Now he's born in 1930. So these are all the cars from his childhood, Austin Healy 100 M. I don't know what that means. 1955. Can I get some pictures here? Cadillac El Dorado series 62. I already know what that one looks like. Convertible, 1955. Oh, because I'm on the wrong fucking Christ. Is he on that internet? I'm on the wrong fucking Wi-Fi here. All right, let's see what I got here. There we go. Look at Clint. How could this guy not

be a fucking movie star? 1932 Roadster. Look at that badass thing. I can't believe he can get in there. Guys like 6-4. I don't have too much of a man crush on him. Lincoln K series convertible. It's like a classic, you know, that's either a mob boss or the mayor of a filthy town car. Austin Healy, that 55 is amazing. Amazing car. Yep, and that Cadillac El Dorado series 62, 1955 is one of the best looking Cadillacs ever made. Two door. God, that's gorgeous. Gorgeous car. Jaguar XK150 Roadster 1960. My favorite Jag is the one that Steve McQueen had in the 1950s, whatever that one is. Morris Mini Countryman Cooper 1966. And this is a real car guy that if you have this thrown in there,

Ferrari 275 GTB 1966. I don't know much about the Ferraris other than the ones from the 60s are like priceless. Gran Torino Sport. Oh, that's what he had. He had a Gran Torino. That's right. He had a Gran Torino in the enforcer. And he was, you know, he wasn't into like women's lib. He just kept going, well, isn't that fancy. And then years later, he's just, you know, get off my lawn in Gran Torino. How cool is that? I wonder if he used his actual car for the movie. Ferrari 365 GT4 Berlinetta Boxer 1974. Pontiac Special Edition Trans Am 1977. I wonder what the special edition was. That's the Burt Reynolds one. Ferrari 308 GTB 1978. GMC Typhoon 1992. What the fuck is that?

A few years ago on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show, Eastwood was asked what he drives. This is in GQ Magazine. I'm going to read this. I don't have time to go through all this. He's got a Fiat 500E. I love that fucking car. I think that's all the cars. That's amazing. That is really amazing. Anyways, that's on GQ Magazine. The UK edition. Dirty Harry. Dirty Harry. Clint Eastwood's car collection. Anyways, that's it. Just thought it might be fascinating to share the above. Big fan loved the podcast. Thanks and go fuck yourself. All right. Refuse to touch laptop. Dear Billy Buberi. A few days ago, like some white as a ghost. Is that what that is? A few days ago, I was at my friends and he asked me to search from something on YouTube

on his computer. I flat out said, no, I'm not touching your jizz machine. He got all offended like I was saying he jerked off for an unreasonably or unhealthy amount. I told him that wasn't the case. I know he doesn't clean his keyboard and he most likely is 99.99% of humans who jerk off the porn. How is this not a widely acknowledged thing? I'm not going to use your toothbrush. I'm not going to let you fuck my wife and I'm not touching your computer is what you should have wrote. You said your toothbrush. Thoughts? Dude, I think you're on the cutting edge. The cutting edge. I think that's a great fucking point. I want people out there who, who, who are these people? People who work on computers. I mean, you can't tell me that you

don't fucking, you must wipe it down a way like those fucking, I'm going to commit a murder gloves. Um, that's a great point. I'll tell you what's nuts was back in the day. Used to use the pay phone. I get in New York City. I take a pay phone, stick it right to my fucking ear. Um, that the mouthpiece touching my lower jaw. Awful. Girlfriend's X is a pro athlete. Hey, Billy Bongo tits. Jesus Christ. I'm getting trashed here. I'm a 21 year old guy living in Canada. I'm dating this amazing, beautiful, smart girl with a great sense of humor. Uh, we have been great together for about six months and it's going great. We're getting more serious. So she's been, she has been digging into, so we have been digging into each other's past

and she tells me that her X is a pro hockey player. He's a very high profile player and he is quite well known, especially here in Canada. She started dating him throughout high school. Wow. Okay. Whether her ex is playing in town, he will, whenever his ex is playing in town, he will send my girl's mom tickets for the hockey game. Apparently this guy and my girl's mom get along really well, little too well. No, she hasn't gone to a game in over a year. She has been totally faithful and I have zero fear. She will cheat or anything like that. She really is amazing. I absolutely hate that her ex is this famous good looking fit millionaire. I'm definitely a good looking guy, but I'm no pro athlete. My girl doesn't bring him up at all, but she works

hard on our relationship. I know it's not fair to her, but I can't help thinking that she sees me in no way as good as her ex. Well, dude, I mean, if that's what she thought, then she would dump your ass in a minute and the very least try to go land another hockey player hanging out of games, I think. Anyways, not to get all depressing, but I don't know how to compete. On top of all that, I cringe whenever I'm watching hockey now. Am I just crazy to be thinking like that? I would definitely say I have lots of self-confidence. I have never had an issue with comparing myself to people, but this guy is really getting to me. Your advice would be great. Thanks and go fuck yourself. You got to work your way through that, man. If she's not going with this guy or any of

that type of shit, you know what I would do? I would start working on yourself and become an even better version than you are right now. I mean, there's a reason why they broke up. For all you know, she just thinks the guy's a douche. Maybe he's great at this one thing and he sucks at being a boyfriend or whatever. I think it's a great thing that despite the fact him being famous and being a great looking guy and a pro athlete, if she walked away from that thing, then obviously she knows that money and looks and that thing are not all that it's cracked up to be. What I would do is I go out there, hit the gym a little harder, work on yourself. If you've got any fucking issues that might fuck up the relationship, I don't know what to tell you. I've never been in that situation,

but I got to say, if she's not going to games and she doesn't seem to give a fuck, you know, but I get it. I get it that guy's just out there circling like a shark right on your flat screen TV every fucking night. That's got to be tough. So I do have empathy for you, but what I would do is I would, that's just one of those things like I have no fucking control over that. So whatever who gives a fuck, you live once, throw yourself in this relationship, be a great boyfriend. If she fucking dumps you for whoever the fuck this guy is, then what are you going to do? What are you going to fucking do? You know what you do? You then go out and put out a hit album like that fucking chick over there in England, you know, that chick, whatever, whatever, whatever,

I always forget her fucking name. That song, that fucking huge voice, man, amazing, amazing singer. And she's funny as hell too. What the fuck, you know, she got dumped. So there you go, hang with this chick. And then someday when she breaks up with you, you write the male Alanis Morissette album. That's what you do. It'd be funny if she dumped you and then you just fucking give her shit as she's walking out the door, like all hockey terms. Yeah, go back to him. He's a minus six. I'm a plus four, four years. I'll be the best boyfriend you're ever going to have, right? Just go down to Swinger. All right, dilemma. Hey, Billy Boy Scout, Billy Boy Scout, got a couple of dilemmas for you. One, would you

rather have everyone chuckle dismissively at everything you say as if nothing you say is important or never, or never be able to make anyone laugh ever again? Oh, you fucking asshole, you just tied me up on a goddamn, what do I do with that? I would definitely much rather have the first chuckle dismissively there. I would just, there's no fucking way. I would be crying, laughing by the third person. And then what I would do is I would then the game would then just be, I would just keep making statements. And the statements would get bigger and bigger and more ridiculous because then their reaction, they should be saying what the fuck, how the fuck can you say that? But if they're then chuckling dismissively, it then becomes funny for me. And then I'm

having a great time. That's what it'd be. But to never make anybody laugh again, that's how I connect with people. Anyway, he had a number two, but I don't, I don't want to get at that number two when that one's just crossing the line. Keep it about me. How people keep it about me. All right, that is the podcast, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you have a wonderful week. It's coming into June. June is right around the corner. My, my, my little boy is, is walking through. He is, I don't want to be the overly proud that kid is jacked. He's got a little physique on him. He's got some shoulders, you know, he's got a little chest on him. I didn't want to say anything. I just saw you. I mean, it's kind of baby fat or whatever, just shape like that, the roles. And I know all

the, all the fucking, you know, all the ladies, you know, mom, mother-in-law, everybody, you know, is going like, he's kind of strong, right? So yesterday, my daughter, right, we had come back, I took her to the park, we were riding bikes and shit, right? And she was sitting there. She had a little, this little thing of snacks. And I, he was whining, wanted to be up on the couch, I brought him on the couch and he just looked at the snacks and just reached out and he just grabbed the bag and she's going, nobody, no. And he just starts pulling it with one hand towards himself. And my daughter is trying to pull it back. Oh, no, no, no, no. And he just pulled it and just took it right out of her hand. And then she looks at me, you know, like, can you believe that?

And I just, so he got to take it back. Don't let people do that to you, right? So I don't know, he's got like a vice grip on it. He's a little grippy guy. He just fucking grabs onto you. He's got a great sense of humor. And now he's walking, hilarious. When he walks, he has his hands up like he's on a roller coaster. You know those people, they put, I don't know why they do it. You put your hands up on a roller coaster. I don't know why, I don't know why people do that. All right. I don't know why people stick their legs out motorcycle racing when they go around a turn balance. I have no idea what it is. But anyways, when he walks, he's got his, he's got his hands up. And right now he finally has confidence because he's been walking for about four weeks.

And now he's just kind of like, you know, if I, now he's just like, I would rather walk than crawl. That's his deal. All right, that is it. That is it. That is the, that is the podcast. I hope you guys have a wonderful week. Go fuck yourselves. Go Bruins. What about those Celtics, huh? How about those Celtics? The last game, you know, we finally got those fucking Brooklyn Nets. Or I mean, they shouldn't be called like the Brooklyn Nets. They just, this one of those fucking oceans 11 teams, you know, at, at, at center, Brad Pitt, Power Ford, Matt David, Don Cheadle, shooting guard, and they still need one more piece. One of those fucking teams, everybody's a superstar on it. So who knows, maybe we

can win two in this series. We'll see what the fuck happens. Just Jason Tatum. I mean, I don't know what you can say. I just wish his partner in crime, Jalen Brown was there because I think we could actually give these guys a series. But I really missed the days when people took chances on draft picks and there was the excitement to see whether they worked out or not, rather than just rating somebody else's team as somebody has already proved that they can dominate at the pro level. I just don't see the skill set. There's no salary cap. It's not competition. It's fucking ridiculous. And we're all just sitting around waiting for the Nets to play the Lakers. That's basically what's happening. I'm holding out on Utah to maybe

stop the Lakers. We'll see. All right, that's it. I will talk to you guys on Thursday. You