Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 7-26-21

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

Bill rambles about Delta, world wars, and waffles.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, July 26, 2021. What's going on? How's it going in your neck of the woods? Is everything going alright? Jesus Christ, I hope it is. I hope it is. You know, it's a new variant. It starts to settle in. We're saying the numbers are on the rise and a lot of unvaccinated people. I'm actually really enjoying those new stories. Now, you know, I used to used to bother me like, come on, everybody, why can't we all do the same thing? So we're all in the same page, man. And now I just realize it doesn't fuck it. I don't give a shit. I don't care. It's just like, dude, you want to go out there and fucking catch this shit and lose your sense of fucking smell or taste. Do it, man. Nobody's gonna

tell you what to do, man. Fucking do whatever you want to do. I don't give a fuck. I'll stay home for another year with my kids. I don't give a shit. You know, think I can't turn on a fucking little goddamn recorder and talk to myself at fucking seven o'clock in the morning? Because I can't. You don't scare me fucking people who want to do whatever the fuck you want to do. Yeah, there we go. So yeah, I don't give a shit. Most people, you're going to get vaccinated. They're going to put a fucking microchip in you. You're already microchipped. You got a fucking goddamn phone. You put it in your pocket. You won't walk away from it. It's listening to you. The fucking thing listens to you. It's been doing that. Oh Christ, it's been doing it for years.

The time I was in a pitch meeting, right? What's a pitch meeting, Bill? You hanging out with a bunch of baseball players? It's a pitch, pitch meeting. You go in and you go, Hey, we have an idea for the show. And they're like, Oh, do you? Well, why don't you come over and tell us a little bit about it? We're like, Okay, so you go over there and you pitch a show. So one time I'm pitching the show, right? It's me and this other dude who's like in his thirties. And then the person I'm pitching to is in their thirties and it's old ass me. So the pitch is going great and everything. So I'm trying to describe the show. At one point, I make a reference to this old kid's show called The Banana Splits. And the meeting just comes to a screeching halt because the dude I'm with

and the dude I'm pitching to have never heard of the show because it was on like 50 fucking years ago. So anyway, the next day, my buddy who I was pitching with, he goes on his computer or on his phone. And in the side, you know, the advertisements on the side, there was a picture of a t-shirt for The Banana Splits, the TV show. So you're already fucking microchip. Hey, Siri, is arugula from the spinach family? Whatever the fuck you do, that thing's fucking listening to you. These fucking creeps at Best Buy or whatever, they're fucking watching you through your smart TV. It's a it's a fucking wrap. It's already over. You notice anytime, like at this point, if something fucked up happened, if there's not video of it, you're like, what, what, wait, how? You know, man in the middle

of fucking nowhere, mauled by a grizzly bear in fucking, you know, eastern Russia, and there'll be fucking video of it. Some park rangers got a goddamn, these fucking assholes went into the woods. And when there was a mother bear hibernating with her cubs, they went in there and or something like that. They went in, they killed this fucking bear while it was sleeping, which is against the rules of hunting. It's not against the rules of starving, but it's against the rules of hunting. You know what I mean? But I don't, I don't understand that. You know what I mean? It's like, all right, well, I'm going to go out and kill a fucking bear. Well, don't do it while it's sleeping. Don't you have enough of advantage with your fire stick? Fire stick, you remember that from

old Hollywood when they would do movies with Native Americans in them? Then we'll play by white people with rouge on their face. White men come with fire stick. Yeah, they fucking go up there and they shoot this fucking bear while it's sleeping. Middle of the woods, middle of the fucking nowhere, of the fucking nowhere, of the fucking middle of the fucking nowhere. And guess what? They got caught. There was video of it. You know what I mean? I swear to God, dude, if you walked out into the middle of the fucking Amazon, took your dick out and started jerking off, you have like a 50 50 chance a satellite is going to fucking take video of it. Is it Google maps the earth or maps the earth or whatever? And then all of a sudden your boss is

going to be calling you up, right? You have no fucking idea. This is waiting up down here in fucking Brazil. My boss is calling me. I hope everything's all right. Do I sound drunk? Okay. Hello. Well, yes, yes, I am having a good time down here. You know, as far as I know, I still have another three days down here. Is everything all right? What's that? Well, yeah, yeah, I mean, that was part of the trip. I wanted to see the Amazon forest before it was you know, he chopped all the trees down. Well, you know, I did a zip line tour. You know, we saw the Amazon river.

Well, that was, yeah, that was what I did out there. Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's all I did. What is this? I don't understand what you're getting at. And eventually the guy would be like, we just got a fucking email that shows someone who looks like you. Now, this is the middle of fucking Brazil. I don't know how many fucking pasty freckled bald orange men there are. And you got your goddamn schmechel out and you fucking acting like it owes you money. Okay, it's already gone viral. You're no longer allowed back in the country. So you're no you're no longer gainfully employed. So I hope you brought some sunblock because your career's over as is when you know what they

wouldn't get ready as a citizen. Let me look that up. If you jerk off in the rainforest in a satellite catches you, are you allowed back into the United States? Since 9 11. Everything went back to 9 11 9 11 was the excuse for everything. Why are you being hostile? Why are you being a cunt drunk with power? Right? You don't even know how to fly this thing. Sorry, plowing ahead here. So yeah, you're already fucking microchipped. Okay, it's gonna happen. The whole thing is going to happen. There's nothing you can do about it, because we're not organized. I hate saying that, you know, because I don't want to get

microchipped, but it's it's going to happen. All right, let's get off this fucking creepy goddamn subject. So everybody out there. Yeah, don't get facts. Don't wear masks. Do whatever the fuck you want. Breathe all over each other. And then other people want to get vaccinated, you'll get vaccinated. And the virus evidently will pass through both of us and just keep getting stronger. Because it's going to take a peek at the fucking, you know, you know what the fucking Joe Biden needs to do when he wakes up from his nap? He needs to fucking channel Dennis Green. Rest his soul, right? Football, great football coach, Dennis Green. And he needs to get out there and just yell at these fucking virus people just be like the COVID virus was exactly

who we thought it was. And we let it off the hook. Just get back into yelling at people. So evidently, it's just going to keep getting stronger, which is sort of exciting. Sort of an exciting thing where, you know, because this this is theory now with people who get vaccinated, who are considered liberals, socialists, you know, you know, Hillary sniffers, whatever the fuck they're called. All right, they have now gone from all the leads are proud. And the sky is gray to being like, you know what, I hope this fucking virus kills all these other people, like literally, which I got to be honest with you, I kind of agree with that. But not because of a fucking

liberal standpoint. I'm more like about, you know, it's going to be 130 degrees up. And I'm not even about like trees at this point, I'm about me, because that's what this is all about. It's about you. So you know what, I'm going to make it about me. I'm a fucking redhead. I was a redhead. Now I'm a red face. I barely fucking survived summers when it wasn't fucked up. But if there's going to be like 120, 930 degree days, and then a lot of people got to go. So I'm hoping, you know, some of the, you know, if the right bands go out and tour, the right people are going to show up. And they're going to breathe all over each other. It's going to be fucking wonderful. And then what's funny is people on the left are then kind

of like, well, hey, man, like, then all all the dumb people will get killed, which I love. All the dumb people will die. Why are they dumb? Because they don't see the world the way you do without your science degree. That's exactly right. And I'm a warrior. He, he, him, they, social justice awareness, Black Lives Matter in my white neighborhood. Yeah, that's going to kill all the dumb people. And let's just say it killed everybody who didn't agree with you. It didn't see the world the way that you did. And now it's a whole bunch of you walking around. And what do you think is going to happen? Do you honestly think that everybody's going to get along at that point? Because we all see

everything the same way it's not going to. Because what it is, is human beings get annoyed with each other. We're also flawed. So what would happen is within the fucking, hey, man, like, all the liberal people that would still be alive or the conservative people, whoever ends up being right in this fucking issue, right? I'm going to lead towards the scientists. Crazy that way. Within that group of people, they would start to break apart once again. Well, he's not like liberal, liberal, or if this person's like too liberal, this person's crazy. And eventually that'll happen. You know, I mean, look at fucking sports teams. They're all wearing the same uniform. They all

wear, they all want to win the game. They all want to win a championship. How many fucking times you've seen it? This player hates that player, but you're on the same team. We've got better here than I do. And you know, after the game, we went to Applebee's and the chick I was hitting on, he hit on, and then he fucked her instead of me. Why does he always win the game within the game? And then that fucking, the whole thing falls apart. So that's not going to happen. What's going to happen, hopefully is, you know, half the planet will die. And even then we'll still be overpopulated, but it will slow this shit down. You know, I don't know. Maybe the glaciers will come back a little bit, but I'm kind of up for it. I'm up, I'm into misinformation.

And, you know, I wasn't done with my money. Thank God. I didn't go out and buy some fucking, you know, 40 Bill Burr fans can't be run, gold LeMay suits. I didn't do that. All Ebenezer fucking freckles sat on his shit, you know, and I didn't, you know, it wasn't even like a smart economic move on my part. I just know what I look like. Unlike a lot of these assholes on the internet who aren't good looking and people, as people are going, you're a goddess, you're gorgeous. Yes. I, you know, I look in the mirror and I see the reality of what I see. And I'm like, who the fuck ever told you that you could go outside? All right, that's a little harsh. Anyway, I've been going to the gym

hitting the elliptical. Cardio burns fat, no cardio burns calories. Well, guess what? I'm getting fucking, I'm getting a good shape here, man. Yesterday, I got two compliments, people saying you're looking good, man, you're working out. I was like, Oh, me Tee hee hee. Why? Yes, I am. Oh, Billy, Balyptical. Been on that fucking elliptical for fucking, uh, Balyptical Burr. Been on that thing for the whole goddamn month. I took yesterday off because I was actually kind of fucking depressed. I'm not going to lie to you. I did that show at the, you know, at the Wiltern had an awesome time, but this just was sort of this impending feeling that like, Hey man, this is probably the last indoor live fucking show

we're going to do for a while was sort of the vibe I was feeling. And, um, you know, I was just like, Oh God, not this fucking shit again. You know, just just overall, it's just depressing as you just sit there and it's just like, people just don't work together because they don't, they don't want the truth. They want to be right. And that's it on both sides. If there is really just two sides, everybody just wants to be right. The fucking mass people want to be right. The non mass people want to be right. And everybody is dug in. You know, this is how you make a fucking bun cake. No, this is how you do it. And it's just, it's over. So, um, afterwards I was hanging out now smoking a cigar, right? I had worn a mask the whole night. Now I'm smoking a cigar. I'm

trying to stay six feet away from everybody as you should, as you're supposed to, unless you, you don't think you should, right? And all of a sudden this woman comes into the fray who's fucking hammered, hammered. Like I, like I respected the level of drunk she was. It was like that level, like just came in, you know, like a toddler, you know, where toddlers don't wait for people to stop talking. They just start fucking talking. She was doing that shit, right? And then finally, like she was so drunk, somebody gave her a chair to sit down in. All right. Nice enough person, but fucking hammered. And I'm not judging her because, you know, God knows I got after it back in the day. I've been that drunk and I was probably even louder. So anyway, someone was talking

about the new John Mayer album. And I was saying, yeah, man, I heard nothing but good things. I heard it's like one of his best albums, if not his best album. He said, yeah, he's been describing it as sad rock. It has like an 80s vibe and sound. And you know, I saw the billboard on Sunset and my buddy was saying, yeah, man, he kind of looked almost like a Rick Springfield sort of album cover and all of this stuff and all this really cool sort of like, sort of theme that he came up with. And then the marketing behind it, which I always find fascinating as a music lover. So he tells the whole fucking story. And it was really fascinating. And when he finishes telling the story, everybody's kind of like, oh, wow, that's cool. I'm going to check out that album.

And then it gets like quiet. And then the drunk lady goes, and then what? There was like a pause and I just started fucking crack it up laughing. And it just kind of made me remind once again, you know, being in a pitch meeting and you're done with the pitch. And then they're like, and then what? Then what happens with the show? And you're like, then nothing like that. That was the pitch. Oh, you thought there was that that felt like it wasn't done. And then, you know, you're not going to sell the show if it doesn't feel like it's fucking done to them. That means they're looking at it like it's a fucking undercooked, half baked fucking idea. And guess what? Your

dream's done. You can go back to the chuckle hut, buddy, because you ain't getting on TV, motherfucker. And that's how this business works. You know, unless, you know, you're a fucking white woman, then you have to be like, well, how come you have you, you picked up the guy's show and you didn't pick up my show. And then they have to pretend like your your idea didn't suck because you have a vagina. Am I exaggerating? Of course I am, but it's fun. That's what comedy is. Exaggerating. Exaggerating the truth or what you think is the truth or maybe a lie that you want to be true. Right? All right, let's look up right now. How many people are going to die with the new strain of COVID? It's like a game show. Come on, big number. Come

on, big number. Come on, big number. All right, the Delta variant. Of course, it's called Delta, my least favorite fucking airline. Jesus Christ. The fucking, the amount of skyhorses that are on that fucking airplane. Everybody has status, like 90% of the plane boards before first class. I've never understood it. I get the beginning where they're like mothers, you know, with kids, troops, you know, anybody who's deputized. I understand all of that shit. All right, let's get all the people that control the people on the fucking plane first. You know, Kevin Costner's stunt double in my bodyguard. Is he here? Yeah, you can go on, right? Anybody with the fucking, you know, hey, it's fucking red shirt Wednesday. Who's got a red shirt?

Right? The whole fucking plane gets on. Of course, it's called Delta. Delta Airlines is for dumb people. It really is. You know what I mean? American Airlines is for fucking old people, like myself, slash people who want to make it great again. And then all those other ones are all going to go out a bit united. I don't know what they, you know, I was in the United until they absorbed us air. And I'm just like Jesus Christ, you know what I mean? You got to watch who you hang out with. You know, if you start hanging out with the wrong kinds of people, you're going to end up doing what they were doing. So United, I don't know about those guys. All right, the effects of a virus variants on COVID. Now I want to know how many people are

going to fucking die. Death rate prediction COVID 2021. Come on, big number, big number. This week's national ensemble predicts that the number of newly reopened COVID-19 deaths will likely increase over the next four weeks with 1200 to 5300 new deaths likely reported in the week ending August 14, 2021. It's fucking amazing. You know, it's crazy about this morbidly. What if I get it and I fucking die? Well, he wanted people to die, but he didn't count on it being himself. I need to do some trashy, uh, true podcast stories of Hollywood podcasting ain't it a bitch? Um, all right, I got to do some shout outs here, not shout outs, uh, pay my respects to some people here. Jeff Lebar of Cinderella, uh, Lee guitar. So that amazing band that I saw a

couple of times. So I'm open for AC DC and I saw him on some, um, monsters or something. I can't even fucking remember, but, uh, I always loved that band and, uh, he was just a fucking rock star killer, vibed. He looked great. He had all those cool guitars and, um, in memory of him, I actually watched Cinderella at the peace festival in Moscow, 1989, where they came out and did like a 45, 50 minutes set. I watched the whole thing last night and, uh, I was watching it. I was just like, man, I just really miss people being able to play instruments. I just miss it. You know, I get when people play instruments now, it's not going to sound like the music that I listen to all back in my heyday when I had my orange and red locks. Um, I just really fucking, uh, I really miss that shit.

And, uh, when I see like a DJ, I know there has to be an art form to it or else anybody with the fucking laptop would be doing what these people are drawing the crowds that they're drawing. I should probably try to understand it more. I guess I got to look at them more like a composer, you know, because then, you know, they're still telling a story with, with, with whatever music they're typing. However, it fucking works. I don't, I don't get it. You know what I mean? You know, I'm, I, you know, I'm a horseback rider and all of a sudden the car shows up. I'm like, where's the horse? How does it go? I don't understand. That's not a horse. Tell you right now, you give me a horse any day over that fucking thing.

Can't even go down a goddamn trail. This is called asphalt. What the hell is that? That looks like lava, but it's black, right? Kind of like that musically. But anyway, without trashing the young people and their drugs and their fun, I really fucking miss watching young people that know how to play fucking guitar and drums and bass can sing live and all of that shit. And yeah, so I watched Cinderella at the Moscow Peace Festival 1989, which was a big deal because back then, you know, we were fucking, we would like the Colorado, Colorado Avalanche and the fucking Detroit Red Winks back in the day in the late

90s. We were like, you know, we weren't getting along. That's saying we're really getting along now. But like the big thing back then was people in Russia, they couldn't get, they couldn't get stuff from America. And one of those, you know, jeans and all of that shit. And one of the big fucking things was music. So it was a big deal when Gorbachev got in there and he let these bands come in and play. The crowd was going fucking nuts. It must have been so exciting to go over there and play slash I would be nervous like none of you guys have drugs on you, right? Right? As you're flying over there. I would have been terrified. You know, Fred Curry had the fucking power toms played the Pearl kit. And that was a big deal

back then. Like with like drums, you know, everybody played either Tama or Tom. I never knew how to say that or Pearl right until the fucking late 80s. And then all of a sudden drum workshop DW came out and everybody changed. And I remember Tommy Lee was always playing Pearl. And then he went to he switched over to DW. And then everybody did the dude from poison. I remember he switched over. But then all the fucking speed metal guys all played Tama drums. And that became like it was like literally just like within metal music to subsets some metal music. There was like the gear that you had to have. And I want to give I think slash was the guy if not Tom Kieffer, I would say slash or Tom Kieffer brought the Les Paul back

because everybody had the fucking shredder guitars. I saw a thing went a time backstage of Cinderella and Tom Kieffer was showing all of his he's the lead singer all also killer guitars was showing all of his guitars and he was playing vintage guitars in the 1980s. And he had a 1959 Les Paul which I hope he still has because those things are worth like fucking you know 350 half a million bucks last time I looked. You know when they say if you could go back in time you know would you bet like the Super Bowl and shit like that if you went back in time to 1959 and you just walked into a fucking if they had a store if you just ordered 10 1959 Les Paul guitars you would never have to work again if you sold nine of them like I don't know. I guess you'd still

have to wait for 50 years doing some job you hated and then if you went well no wait how does this scenario work Bill do you get to go back in time with those buy those 10 guitars and then come back do can you imagine that if you discovered a fucking time machine and you went back in time and rather than trying to affect some shit positively you know go back in time and just be like uh Mr Lincoln you might not want to go to that play tonight you know instead of doing that shit you like you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna go back to 1959 buy a bunch of Les Paul guitars I'm gonna fucking go back to 1955 or 53 or whatever and get a Mickey man or rookie baseball card and then I'm gonna fuck it you know I'm gonna buy a bunch of property

in the valley like Bob Hope did knowing that eventually they're gonna build or want to build on it you just did it to build your portfolio I was wondering what would happen if you went back right like if you went back and you killed Hitler right you killed all those Nazi cunts right then where does America end up because it was because of those Nazi cunts that we ended up rising up in power afterwards simply by the fact that we were still standing because all of Europe was bombed out except for the countries that remained neutral

like Sweden Sweden stayed neutral Switzerland stayed neutral and just the fact that they were still a functioning country because I'll tell you it's weird when you go to like the Netherlands you just see like everything looks you know pretty new and I was talking about that going you guys don't have a lot of old buildings out here and they say like the Germans it's like wow so every once in a while you'll come across when I went to Germany when I was in Berlin there was some old church that I saw that was still like half bombed out from World War II it's fucking wild to go over there I don't know what the hell I'm talking about here another shout out rest in peace Jackie Mason Jackie Mason one of the most underrated

fucking comedians of all time wish I didn't just swear there Jackie Mason one of the one of the most underrated comedians of all time because he didn't need to swear I saw that guy on Broadway where the hell was I I was in New York City I'm trying to remember the name of the the name of the theater that I saw him in I don't remember all I know is this guy came out and I was like all right what is this guy gonna do you know he's an old guy we'll see we'll see what this guy's gonna do you know I didn't have high expectations I saw him in the late 90s he was 70 something years old dude this guy came out and it just absolutely murdered

for an hour murdered then took a 15 minute intermission and then came out and did another 45 minutes just absolutely destroying and I would say as far as people from that generation that I'm really happy that I got to see that went out and just absolutely killed it Jackie Mason Joan Rivers and George Carlin I would put on the Mount Rushmore of not saying there aren't anybody else from that generation but just as far as how long they were at the top of their game how much material they wrote and how long they could be on stage and absolutely destroy so I feel very fortunate that I got to see him the guy was a rebel he got banned from the Ed Sullivan show here it is middle finger incident he allegedly gave Ed Sullivan the finger

he denied it this is 1964 so he would have been let's see 1928 30 he was 36 okay right as you're hitting your stride as a comedian you're on Ed Sullivan who was Johnny Carson before Johnny Carson I mean put it this way the Beatles did the Ed Sullivan show and then after that they were the fucking Beatles that's how big that show was here in America right relax England I'm not saying they weren't the Beatles over there okay all right on October 18th 1964 and an appearance on the Ed Sullivan show Mason allegedly gave host Ed Sullivan the finger on air footage of the incident shows Mason in the middle of doing his stand-up comedy act and then looking towards Sullivan who had placed himself directly behind the camera

camera commenting that Sullivan was signaling him Sullivan was reporting letting Mason know by holding up two fingers that he only had two minutes left and to cut his act short as the program was about to cut away due to having been partly preempted by an impromptu speech by President Lyndon B Johnson that the show carried Mason began working his own fingers into his act to make fun of the situation oh no and pointed towards Sullivan with an index finger a thumb but not as Sullivan mistakenly believed his middle finger wow Sullivan was infuriated by this and banned Mason from future appearances on the show canceling Mason six uh six appearance contract worth 45 grand and the equivalent of 375 thousand dollars in 2020 uh Mason denied knowingly giving Sullivan the middle

finger he later said that he had not heard of the middle finger gesture at that time all right we got to click on the middle finger gesture in western culture the finger the middle finger is an obscene gesture the gesture communicates meaning fuck me fuck you it doesn't mean fuck me it means fuck you show it up your ass up yours go fuck yourself it's performed by show we know how it's formed classical error the gesture dates back to ancient Greece oh there goes that excuse it was also used in ancient Rome historically it represented the phallus is that the dick a phallus is a penis all right how come nobody says that hey baby you want to see my phallus sorry in the early 1800s it gained increasingly

recognitions as a sign of disrespect and was used by music artists notably more common among actors celebrities athletes and politicians most still viewing the gesture is obscene the index finger and the ring finger beside the middle finger in more contemporary periods has been likened to represent the testes well they really got into this all right let's get back to Jackie here um to clear his name mason filed a libel suit on the grounds that sullivan had defamed him at the new york supreme court the court dismissed most of mason's complaints money both mason and sullivan appealed to the new york supreme court oh now he's suing the guy or he's going after him a court which reinstated three additional causes of actions against sullivan

in june 66 mason was nevertheless banned from the show for a period of time sullivan asserted that mason was unpredictable and could not be trusted because of sullivan's influence he was branded as unreliable volatile and obscene and he failed to get substantial television work for the next two decades oh my god mason was you know what he did the voice of the art vark on the pink panther mason was given a single comeback appearance on the sullivan television show programmed two years later and sullivan publicly apologized to him but the damage was done at that time mason opened his monologue by saying it is a great thrill and a fantastic opportunity to see me in person again mason later appeared on the show five times

April 23rd 67 back february 68 november 68 july 69 august 69 mason later said it took 20 years to over have to overcome what happened in one minute wow so he kind of got cancelled you should definitely read about this guy i mean absolutely an absolute beast totally original and uh i feel so lucky that i got a chance to see him so rest in peace jackie mason rest in peace jeff labar um all right and with that it's almost time for the advertising but i got to give a shout out to your boston redsox their most exciting game of the year they went down four to nothing the yankees had a no hitter going which is exciting right and then all of a sudden the eighth inning came and the redsox scored five count of five runs shut down the yankees in the

top of the ninth to win it five to four and that's the way it was yesterday at fenway park i got to get the mlb package it's time i just have to get it uh but i am you know gonna be going on the road here i don't know i'm gonna get it i kind of i was yesterday i was watching was i watching the uh white socks and the brewers and i don't know i just i really like baseball i know it's not the most popular thing to say but i i i fucking like it um oh i did mention yes i got i've got really fucking depressed and bummed out you know just with the fact that all of this shit's coming back you know allegedly i have no idea and uh so yesterday i hung out with a buddy of mine who's not in show business we went out we got some bbq i had a root beer float and i smoked

a cigar and i felt like a million bucks i'm gonna pay for it in my way and i think i'm about i'm about a buck eighty right now so um i lost you know about nine pounds this month if i can lose nine pounds next month i'll be you know low 170s then you know lose a couple more get myself a little buffer dude is anything better than a fucking root beer float oh my god it's fucking amazing really is what life is about all right you know what else is the life is about about getting good fucking humanely sourced meat consent to you put your box everybody you know summer is all about savoring every moment whether you're hosting a backyard get together or an impromptu gathering but your box will help you spend less time searching for high quality meat so you have more

time for making memories but your box delivers humanely sourced meat of your choosing right to your doorstep options like 100 grass fed and finished beef free range organic chicken humanely raised pork wild caught a last man taylor tails lobster tails wild caught lobster tails wild caught a laskin salmon you don't know what the fuck they're gonna do and sugar slash nitrate free bacon each box ships with nine to 11 pounds of meat packed fresh shipped frozen and vacuum sealed uh my favorite thing to grill in the summer i like the burgers man i'm a burger person uh whether you customize your box or order a curated section focus on how you always get your choice of high quality options i always go with the heritage breed pork

the chicken's great plus i love having it in the freezer you know and you're thinking what am i gonna have for dinner tonight you just pull it out you thought out you pull out the meat man but not you know in a very healthy post meat too kind of way give yourself a vegetable you know you got your protein you got your vegetables you drink a bunch of water you wake up the next day and your stomach's a little flatter luckily today's sponsor butcher box wants to celebrate uh you this summer right now butcher box is offering new members two free lobster tails and two free rib eyes oh you got to love a rib eye in your first box so you can share a high quality surf and turf meal with friends or enjoy it by yourself you sad sack um the process is simple sign up and choose your box

and delivery frequency they offer four curated box options and a custom box that lets you choose your favorite cuts butcher box ships your order frozen at the peak of freshness and packed in an eco-friendly 100 recyclable box uh you enjoy high quality meat delivered to your door and more time for amazing meals together butcher box is offering our listeners two five ounce lobster tails and two ten ounce rib eyes for free in your first box you can only get this special deal when you sign up for a new membership at butcher box dot com slash burr that's butcher box dot com slash burr for your first for your free lobster tails and rib eyes in your first box i mean come on man all right policy genius everybody you know while you're laying layering on the spf this summer

don't forget to protect your property too policy genius can help you find ways to bundle your home and auto insurance and save on the coverage why policy changes because policy genius makes it easy to compare home and auto insurance in one place they can help you find a home and auto coverage similar to what you have now but at a lower price they've saved customers an average of one thousand two hundred and fifty american dollars per year over what they were paying for home and auto insurance their team will handle the paperwork to set you up to set up your new policy or switch over your current one getting started is easy first head to policygenius.com and answer a few quick questions about yourself and your property then policy genius takes it from there they'll

compare rates from america's top insurers from progressive to all state to find your lowest quotes the policy genius team can look for ways for you to save uh to save you more including bundling your home and auto policies if they find a better rate than what you're paying now they'll switch you over for free their top notch services earn policy genius thousands of five-star reviews across trust pilot and google head to policygenius.com to get started right now policy genius when it comes to insurance it's nice to get it right um all right okay with that let's do some of the uh some of the inquiries some of the questions here for this week um all right einstein correction oh Jesus did i say something wrong about the crazy head son of a bitch there hey chill bill no more

drunk slur burr um in the podcast on the 15th of july you joked about albert einstein having invented the atomic bomb actually he did not oh shit shots fired was this tesla again sorry had to get that yawn out been fighting it for 20 minutes he even warned the u.s. government about the advances of the german physicists you know people what has happened to like basic grammar here actually he did not okay you say he didn't invent he he joked about albert einstein having invented the atomic bomb actually he did not he even warned the u.s. government about the advances of the german fit oh i see what you're saying sorry that was my fault physicists are there you saying he didn't do that and he even did this

well then shouldn't you say he did this and he even did this yeah i think i am right he didn't invent the atomic bomb but he did warn the you he should have said but instead of he even i swear to god i don't even think you guys are like dumb i just think you voice text these things so this is how somebody was talking i wouldn't notice this but the second it's written down you're like that doesn't make sense or maybe i'm dumb i'll go with the last one anyway um he warned he even warned the u.s. government about the advances of german physicists he regretted it in hindsight as it spurred the u.s. government on in their project which ended in the japanese genocide he said in an interview had i know that the germans would not succeed in developing an atomic bomb

i would have done nothing all right dude fucking relax if you think that we wouldn't come up with that thing unless you brought it up we would have all right because we invented that thing did we stop at that thing after after albert died and well well i guess that's it albert can't warn of of anything else you know we went on to fucking nuclear weapons anyways just wanted to clarify that defend my passed away countryman countryman where the fuck was he from all right bill just just just stop you're dumb all right something positive to change the subject i think it is underrated what you did for yourself and your family by stopping drinking and going to therapy how aren't you nice after i sat there and trashed

your grammar if a gingerbinger i love that drinker like you can do it anyone can do it by the way improve your german accent no i'm not going you improve your fucking english accent i love everybody around the world thinks that they can imitate americans but like you know it's like you go to france and they don't want to listen to your french but when you come over here i have to listen to your english i will to z store it's not z it's the it doesn't really give our bad accent it's due when you do your hitler bits i don't give a shit thanks for cheering up my cubicle ass and leave einstein alone and go fuck yourself um all right i'll try to get better with the german accent um i'm just doing who i'm really doing is uh what's his face oh my god from

from what the fuck's the name of the movie also known as why i love the bomb it's one of my favorite movies of all time and i can't remember the name of it now i'm just not going to think of it and it'll come up to me and then the guy peter who played the pink panther i have all half information today in my in my brain it's his version of the german guy it's who i'm doing all right wait a second let me let me let me i gotta look this up here why the fuck can i fucking remember anything anymore you know i'm not drinking i stopped using deodorant you know i don't even use deodorant anymore and you know what's funny is if you shower every day you're kind of all right i'm not a big sweater turns out i'm not a big sweater so i had all that fucking aluminum absorbed into my skin

for all of these fucking years you guys right now first man you're talking about liberals and now you like some hippie um all right what is it peter wait why i love the bomb dr strange love that's who it was dr strange love and i'm doing peter cellar's impressions of a nazi so take it up with him um all right space dear billy lunar head you know i totally missed out on this whole jeff bezos going to space and that dick shaped rocket which you know he did on purpose because everyone was going to say it was a phallic symbol anyway so he's like all right let's give it a fucking helmet uh lots of people are coming at jeff bezos for his trip to space the common complaint is that he spent all this money going to space and that money could be used for

people who need it i think this is an uninformed bullshit stance no really you're not seeing all these homeless encampments first off the amount of money it costs to go to space is one twentieth of the budget taxpayers hand over to our military to fund research projects to make better killing machines okay but they're just saying he could have taken that money and given it to poor people you're telling me if he didn't use that money to go to space he would have just given it to the pentagon um or you're saying that his tax money would go towards that maybe that's what your tax dollars maybe that's what you're saying so for starters the people bitching are actually funding a less productive venture while screaming blasphemy at the rich guy we also could just write

a check where he could pay his people the people at amazon better money also let's just call a hypocrite a fucking hypocrite if you have amazon packages coming to your house maybe don't bitch about what the guy does with the money you gave him there right there ladies and gentlemen is the end of the argument that is a great fucking point the amount of people that was shitting on him that fucking you know myself included i just said pay your employees better the poor people they got a park in the middle of the street and run to your house and run back because they don't have time to do their roots not to mention that this was not a taxpayer funded launch unlike space x which takes in huge amounts of taxpayer funding to stay operational when my

tesla driving neighbors stopped me at the end of my driveway to bitch about jeff bezos trip as if i give a fuck i brought this fact about space x up and was immediately met with that's not true oh yeah that's what people do you brought a point that destroys my argument i'm not going to take it in i still want to be right it is true bill but truth is apparently whatever you want it to be these days all right stop patting yourself on the fucking back mr i'm so informed uh fuck these uninformed pile on opinions their shit instagram posts and tweets are just as bad as the cable news companies you've right rightfully been bitching about i you know what you win the argument again all right i like this guy you made two fucking tremendous points you're bitching about a guy

and you fucking buy shit from his company and your instagram page is just as dishonest as those news companies yes yes they are i was saying that to a buddy of mine oh everybody now like everybody like knows how to just take the piece of information that they need and then spin it um the hairy like chicks are really good at it uh my boyfriend is cynical yeah that'll wear you down it's great for if you want to watch a comedian for an hour shit on things but after a while you know you need to go get a root beer float myself included maybe i was depressed because i heard my act on saturday night um hi bill so i only know about you because my boyfriend won't stop stop talking about you and he listens to you almost every other day

all right did i need to know that you had fucking you don't watch anything that i do i get it you're not a fan all right i'm here to rant and complain about how cynical he is getting lol it's upsetting because i've been the type of person who is understanding oh okay let's shit on your boyfriend and talk about how great you are and gets excited about life i try to cheer him up whenever he's down or try to be a lending ear when he needs to vent oh but if you're positive and excited about life yeah he's gonna wear you down but he seems to have a vent and finds a problem for almost everything no matter how much i try to be there for him and help it's just getting so exhausting he just turned 30 and can be so difficult to deal with and i'm starting to think that he has some

kind of mood disorder or anger management issues all right okay i see where this is going because i am i was this guy and that's right around when it happened right around 30 um i don't know what to do because it's hard to move forward with someone who is constantly complaining and finds a problem with everything and seems to only worry about himself all right the way you describe this guy you should break up with him i understand that life has its struggles but he judges and rants and complains about every little thing it's tiring to be around and i don't know what to do because he's stubborn and difficult i try to be patient and understanding as best that i can to be fair he's self-aware enough to know that he can get like this but i'm tired i have needs to lol all

right well you seem like a fucking happy cool person with a good sense of humor i don't know how bad this is but uh you know it's probably some sort of childhood issue and some right around 30 you know when you haven't found your dream job you're not married you don't have kids you don't you start to feel like you're getting behind the herd um and you don't quite know what the fuck's wrong with you because as far as my life went my 20s and 30s was all about like fucking you know taking out my childhood on other people and lashing out at people before you know you get into your late 30s and you go all right well i'm still sitting in this hole maybe it's something i'm doing um i would just tell him just saying listen you're sucking the life out of me and

i'm young and i'm in my prime which means if i stay with you if you continue to be like this i'm going to die earlier um so why don't you fucking go into therapy try to turn that frown upside down or uh i'm gonna fucking leave you know because i have to i i do have to tell you you can't make somebody else happy you can't they can meet you and be infatuated with you and go through the initial stages of love but then after a while you know they're gonna kind of be who they are and um you know something like that can drag you down to where they're at which i would hate to see that happen to you and i hope i didn't do that to anybody back when i was like that not saying i'm a hundred percent cured as you can tell by this podcast so um what can you do all

you can do in a relationship is communicate to somebody what they're doing you know that is affecting you in a negative way you can also communicate to them you know when they're doing something good to ladies um but you can't fix them so i would communicate what you're saying to me to him see what he does with the information and if it's not working for you i would leave because if he's already acting like a fucking crabby old man at 80 i mean i'm sorry at 30 what's gonna happen when he's 80 all right cnn and fox news experience uh dear billy balloon breast i was listening to your bit on the podcast for the 19 time about cnn and fox and wanted to share my personal experience as just how messed up the situation is oh i love hearing from people

i love hearing from people that used to work for these fucking companies in 2016 i was 17 years old oh this is just gonna be okay and was watching tv with my mom stepdad and sister after dinner we were watching their favorite shit show news channel of choice cnn side note i had just enlisted into the army and was set to leave for basic training that summer anyways i can't recall exactly what the segment was covering but it had something to do with fear mongering about the conflict in the middle east because my stepdad knows that i don't feed mindlessly off the bullshit that cnn and fox news uh i am of course on the outside of the click so he likes to use things like that to start up a fight he questioned me about the topic

but to him the only correct answer is whatever bullshit the almighty cnn spews into their followers uh one thing led to another and before the night was over he told me in front of my mother and sister that i would inevitably die in the middle east because i don't believe in what cnn spews jesus christ talk about trying to win the argument at all costs after he realized that i wasn't going to engage in his stupid pointless argument he threw a punch and i had no choice but to fight back uh anyway what started as a stupid argument about our desired news sources turned into me getting kicked out of my house at 17 years old i just wanted to give my story about how these news sources uh went from being important sources of information to a sort of team or country of their

own where if you're not 100 with them you are against them and deemed an enemy of the group of followers they have the modern era of news is toxic and needs drastic change yeah not to say that back in the day you know they were always spinning it but um it wasn't to the level that you knew who the broadcaster voted for um which is fucking insane i mean back in the day you thought wrestling was real and you didn't know who the fucking broadcaster voted for that was it um anyway sorry to ramble but anyway i love the podcast and just to end up and hope to see you at one of your upcoming dates thanks to go fuck yourself yeah you know it's the pendulum swings back and forth you know i remember back in the day when we were starting all this going to war stuff you couldn't

sit there and question like are we really going over there for these people's freedom you know am i really supposed to believe that the way you've treated the government has treated fucking veterans of all wars the way that they've treated poor people people who aren't white at all of this shit in this country the way they've treated their own citizens i'm supposed to believe that you care about these people on the other side of the planet who are sitting on all of this oil and the oil is not a factor and i remember back then if you fucking suggested that that meant that you didn't support the troops which is so insane why wouldn't you support your own fucking home team and that uh you know the whole thing is so fucking the same fucking people that

if you said hey man i think we're going over there for oil they're like america love it or leave it you know and now the vaccine comes out now they're like i don't trust the government and now why can't i be hey america love it or leave it they're saying get the vaccine you're not getting the vaccine you don't support the troops right so it's just what it really comes down to is most people they just fucking selfish cunts that's all it is you know and i'm not saying i'm not one uh well you know we got a lot of work to do everybody we got a lot of work to do and i think the internet was a bad idea overall it was a bad idea uh we're probably too dumb to be talking to one another i don't and you know what i don't have any fucking uh i have no solutions just like

cnn and fox where they just scare the shit out of you with absolutely no solutions so i actually i do have a solution what i try to be is i try to fucking walk out into the world hopefully be in a good mood and don't drag anybody down with my own fucking bullshit it's the best that i can do and then i try to help out younger people you know i think that that's what older people should be doing rather than telling them that their music is no good fuck i did that at the beginning of my podcast all right i'm a work in progress okay this this is the podcast everybody and uh you know what i have really learned i've really learned in life is that fucking since becoming a dad like how my level of happiness has shifted like what makes me happy now like it used to be like

you know i'm a fucking you know i'm gonna fucking sell this amount of tickets and i'm gonna have this fucking kind of car in this bigger house and it's fucking all this shit i have now now that i have kids you know what fucking makes me happy and excited is if i have a full box of bisquick and enough syrup in the cupboard i know that that can get me to 12 noon and i can get it can get to the first fucking nap and everybody's gonna be happy all right not saying i make fucking pancakes and waffles every day but if the kids come downstairs and they're in a bad mood and i need to switch the culture in the locker room dude you fucking turn on the waffle griddle they they fucking light up they light up you make them the waffles you get them going you have a couple of

waffles everybody's full of syrup a little sugar rush yeah baby right then around 10 everybody needs to take a nap you know everybody fucking chills out telling you it's a good fucking thing if you can take that little waffle philosophy out into your life today then i feel like this podcast was worth it sorry um all right that's the podcast everybody i hope my fucking thing didn't die again okay good it didn't um that's it stop watching these fucking news channels stops you know you know i'm not saying all everything that they say is you know you know what i i actually do now is i bring my i bring my thermos with water from home out to my show so i've i've used one water bottle in the last uh like three months all right that's my little

fucking nipping at the heels of global warming and guess what it rained out here in la last night which is fucking great it's fantastic all right i gotta go make some waffles i'll see you guys later go fuck yourselves have a great couple of days and i'll check in on you on thursday