Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-20-24

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Bill rambles about cars shows, Mike Love talking shit, and workplace hens. Gametime:  Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code BURR for $20 off your first purchase. Indochino:  Customize your summer style with Indochino. Go to www.Indochino.com and use code BURR to get 10% off any purchase of $399 or more. 

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and download Monopoly Go now free for the App Store and Google Play. Hey what's going on it's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday August 20th, 2020. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going in your neck of the woods, man? Podcasts a little late today. I was road-doubting it that way. And I had a long drive coming back. Went old school. I went old school. Five, five and a half hour drive. But I liked it. You know, I haven't done that in a while. And I'll tell you, you know, the other day, you know, I did a gig up in Fresno. And I drove with Club Soda Kenny up to 99.

And I got to see what that part of California looked like. And now I went up the Monterey area and You know, it's just one of those it's just such a beautiful state, California don't listen to what these fucking people say Okay, all of these idiots who aren't out here like if I took a picture of where I was driving in California, you would think it was like Nebraska, Iowa or Kansas. And as far as all the farmland and all that, maybe what they were growing would tip you off that you weren't there. Gorgeous, gorgeous hills and all that type of stuff and going through towns and you see all the people that you know picked you have the food and all of that the ones that Idiots want to get out of this country. It's like you get them out of the fucking country

You know, you can't even get an American to do a fucking regular job. Well, they're not really paying anybody anymore I'm just saying your diet immediately becomes really limited With all of these people you want to kick out of the country that are doing fucking backbreaking work in brutal conditions. So I mean, people that defend the country and people that fucking are in farming. I mean, that's probably the two most important, right? Jesus Christ, Bill, we didn't come here for a lecture. Oh, geez. So anyway, I was up there this weekend and I just

went up there I had no idea that it was the same weekend as the Pebble Beach Auto Show the hoity-toity Auto Show I heard English people walking around town people speaking French, German, fucking rich cunts from around the world, the world, the world all fly in to look at those great Gatsby looking cars, the Mercedes Gullwings and all of that shit, not because they're into cars, because it's a good investment. No, some of the people are into cars and then other people, you know, you just go in there like, here's something that's bad for people that are into cars.

A buddy of mine sent this to me. One of those super birds, super bowl, one of those super birds went for 3.3 million dollars Let me find the fucking article No internet of course of course because I have to shut it up to this thing basically some fucking guy bought the car In What two years ago for one point like six million dollars and it was a unique color it was this green and the guy got that in it's one of the most

fully loaded super birds out there he got the biggest engine he got the factory AC he got the fucking power windows, the whole fucking thing, it's in great condition. This guy bought it for 1.6 million dollars, two fucking years later sold it for 3.3. You can't do that in the stock market unless you know shit, unless you're a senator. You can do that as a senator, but if you're just a regular person, there's no place else you can do that. So that's not good for car collectors because that's gonna that's gonna start attracting people who can't even change the oil in their car Um who got money to just start buying shit like that. So it's a shame that those cars

are um Here's one when's the last time you saw a super bird driving down the fucking street, I mean The things worth three million bucks now. I mean, somebody a Nissan Leaf fucking rear angel. Sorry about that. You know, I mean, I don't know if you're gonna, you're gonna fucking leave it alone. But I will tell you this. Don't, I actually, when I found out that the Pebble Beach thing was up there, I was just going,

I wonder how much tickets are. I go, man, probably like five, six, seven hundred bucks. It's seven grand per ticket to go onto the golf course and look at all of these fucking cars. You know, the ones that have like the fucking leather straps to hold the hood down, those giant cars, which I don't understand. I don't get those cars at all. I don't have a, an understanding or an appreciation of them. They just look like fuck you hollowed out a metal log and stuck four wheels on it.

Maybe if I saw one in person, I mean, I don't know, I, I, I'm not into cars until like the 1940s. Right around 1940, I liked that Ford pickup. Of course, everybody does, right? And then somewhere, I don't know, mid-40s, late-40s, you stop sitting inside the wheel wells and they become wider. And then everything after that, I fucking love. Every year there's like one car that I fucking love but what was cool about up there is if you don't have the money to go to Pebble Beach or you don't give a shit about like Deussenberg's and stuff like that not saying that's all

there is because there was like a Mecham car out auction up there so I'm sure there was some more power power coming up on the block. They had all of these other car shows and just people driving around town. Like I'll tell you, all the fucking cars I saw this weekend, one of the coolest things I saw, I think it was a 1965 El Camino that was sort of like this British racing green, forest green sort of color. And I don't know what they did to the car, but it just was a beautiful sound. And the guy accelerated a little bit and you could just see all the power that they had. And it was just like,

there was another thing like up the street, I saw like this car show and I saw like a grand national, all of these other cars. There's another like classic car up place up there, Dinos or something like that. And they had this Porsche that I always wanted when I was a kid. I forget what one, it was not the nine 11 or the nine 12, which I recently found out the nine 12 looks like the nine 11,

but it has a Volkswagen engine in it. Um, that other one, the one that was like, it was almost like the first Boxster. I don't know what it was, but when I was a kid, I thought it was the coolest car because it was so fucking low to the ground and small, and then it said Porsche on the side, it had writing on it. You know, I was like six years old the first time

I saw one of those, and it was the 70s, so they were all like bright yellow and green and orange. I just fucking loved the car. Even though I guess historically it's kind of looked at as like an underpowered Porsche. But it's almost like the front end and the back end look the same, whatever one that is. There's some Porsche fanatics screaming what kind of car that is. But it was, it was really cool. And, um, I went up there with my, with my daughter, we had like a dad daughter weekend and, uh, just a gorgeous seaside town. They had like seals chilling out, like right around the fisherman's wharf, you know,

just laying around these fucking things some of the bigger ones. It's like that thing looks like weighs like two thousand pounds fifteen hundred pounds And just to know that something that big is swimming for its life And gets swallowed in like two bites by like a fucking killer whale is insane. But so that was kind of cool. So I just like went around town with my kiddo and was just doing dad daughter stuff as all of these cool cars were coming by. And my my daughter was like pointing out the ones that she liked. And she liked like all the Lamborghinis and the Ferraris and Corvettes was sort

of her thing. It's like, all right, you kind of like the supercars. Okay. Which makes sense as a kid, you know? Um, but anyway, uh, that was sort of my weekend. So we drove up there. I had no idea. I just wanted her to see the coast and see some seals and stuff like that. And, uh, but it was wild. That weather up there, I just wanted her to see the coast and see some seals and stuff like that and But it was wild that weather up there Like you'd be in like downtown Monterey and it'd be like hot as hell Like why did I bring a sweatshirt and then you'd go like four miles north of that and it would be completely fogged in Like down to the ground like shut up shut down the level, like the middle of the day, craziest weather.

I had been around, you know, like every place I go to like, hey, you don't like the weather, stick around for a minute. Everybody thinks they have the craziest fucking weather. I've heard people say that in every accent, in every part of it, you don't like the weather, oh shit, hang around a minute um everybody yeah everybody thinks that they have the craziest weather i will say that that as far as like aviation goes like that was fucking terrifying unless you have an instrument rating i

don't think i would fly in that area first of all when i was going up there the wind was fucking nuts I don't think I would fly in that area. First of all, when I was going up there, the wind was fucking nuts. And, uh, yeah. And then like every day I was there, it would be like totally clear. And then out of nowhere, this Marine layer would come in and it would come in really fast. And it would be all the way down to the ground. Um, I don't know. There has to be other airports further inland cause I know it was probably like sunny as hell and 30 degrees warmer. I don't know there has to be other airports further inland because I know it was probably

like sunny as hell and 30 degrees warmer I don't know what but it seemed like big boy shit to me anyway I am babbling here because I just got off just got back from the road so my brain's a little frazzled I'll tell you what was funny was last night I was considering, I was considering just driving back. Um, cause I was thinking like, well, we kind of did everything. Now we're just sort of hanging out and we're gonna go to sleep and then we'll have that whole drive in front of me. Why don't I just drive back now? And then I was like, this is literally this I realized like

this is all part of because all the fucked up shit that happened to me when I was a kid, like I can't sit still. And then I was like, No, I'm gonna fucking we're gonna hang out. We're gonna watch the sunset. We're gonna you know, play some board games, we're gonna get eight hours sleep, we're gonna order breakfast. We're gonna casually walk to the car and then we're going to leave. And whenever we get back is when we get back. And uh, that's what we did. Ended up finding this insane playground on the way up there that has all like

that ninja gym stuff. And uh, my daughter was like, this is the best playground I've ever been to. Lost Hills, California, we stopped at that playground on the way up and on the way back. It was friggin' incredible. It was a great time, it was a great time, sort of like the last big blowout of the summer, and I was really glad that I got to do that. Because I can't believe how fast this summer went by.

I was doing that gig. I did a gig for the Patriots in June. And a few days later was like the last day of school for my kiddo. And that seems like, it seems like a month ago. I forget about over two months ago. So, I don't know, this is the time of year I try to get in as much dad time as I can. Because once they go to school, you know, it is what it is. Although I don't know what's going on in the world of parenting this year. I've had more parents tell me like, oh my God, I can't wait for them to go back to school.

I'm thinking the opposite. I love when they don't have school, because then I don't have to fucking get up, you know, get them ready and do all of that shit. We can all just kind of, you know, I feel like they're on standupup comedian hours. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Paris, Gay Paris, Vendee, Vente Trois, Vente Quatre, October 22nd, 23rd and 24th at the Apollo Theater. It's going to be on sale tomorrow, Tuesday, August 20th. Tickets at billbird.com. This is the first time I'm ever doing shows in France

The entire show is going to be in French just to let you know Okay, I can't speak French, but I just think I'm gonna go there three nights in a row and just butcher their language No, I'm gonna be doing it English I'm gonna fuck around in French in between No, I'm going to be doing it in English. I'm going to fuck around in French in between. It's going to be a great time and I'm really looking forward to that. And I've already taught Kenny how to say hello and okay in French. Very easy. You know, bonjour, d'accord.

Now some French dudes seem to be, we actually say okay i know you do all right oh my god the fucking french only the french can stand there butchering your language as they held theirs so fucking precious oh oh no be be be be shut the fuck up I Butcher yours and you butcher mine. That's how it fucking works. That's the relationship Okay I'm gonna fucking sit back and listen to you say Z Z EE for T. He You suck at speaking English, okay? Not as much as I suck at speaking French, but that's going to be the comedy. But it's going to be a great time. I mentioned before,

you know, I saw that movie, La Piscine, and that guy, the last surviving star of the movie just passed away the other day, Rest His Soul. I don't remember his name, I literally just saw the movie and I'm not gonna do that thing like most people did, like when, what's his face, Nipsey Hussle died. Remember all those people, all these my people that came out of the woodwork and act like they were listening to his music? Oh my God, I'm so devastated. Yeah, no you weren't. You never brought this guy up ever

You just want to act like you were fucking Digging deep into fucking hip, but you weren't you weren't okay Sorry most of this is the drive Okay, 20% of this is me actually just being a douche. Oh By the way, the guy died in his hometown of douchey France. D-O-U-C-H-Y. Do you know some guy in the New York Times just recently had to let everybody know that, you know, as much as you're enjoying La Piscine, it wasn't a good movie.

You know what I mean? Fucking. It's unreal. it's unreal it's unreal you know what the problem is like no chick wants to fuck a groupie and then entertainers have to pay the price for it it's so just imagine the arrogance of just sitting there hey you guys are all enjoying this, you're actually wrong, it actually sucks. Here's a spoiler alert on L'Opocite, and I'm going to tell you why I fucking loved that movie.

All right? Here comes the spoiler. Here comes the spoiler, here it comes. All right. When the dude kills the other dude in the pool, what I love about it is I don't think he has any intentions of doing it. I think at first It's just strikes him as funny

That this guy who's living his dream because the guy outside the pool isn't living his dream And this other guy was successful in entertainment and the other guy flopped. And it kind of got back to him that he talked shit and said that he wasn't talented or whatever. So the successful guy is now drunk and the guy whose book failed throws him in the pool and it's late at night and there's nobody there. And the guy's trying to get out of the pool and he just, you know, he starts to get out and the guy just pushes him back in the pool And he goes you fucking assholes all in French and then he starts to go to get out again

He does it again, and I just think with each time he does it It the the to finally have power over this guy or maybe just control of his life I don't think that he decides I'm going to fucking kill this guy. I think that it like is the guy in the pool is drunk and then this guy gets intoxicated with finally having power over his life again, finally having a purpose and then just being able to fucking kill this guy. And I feel like it isn't until he finally grabs him by the head and shoves his fucking head under

that he finally decides, I'm gonna kill this motherfucker. And just the way the scene builds, that alone is fucking incredible. But you know, and everybody has always enjoyed that movie or whatever and they put it on the Criterion Channel. And some guy in the New York Times just had to remind every oh wait a minute Wait a minute before you enjoy that movie. It's actually not a good movie You know it's like what are you talking about this is this movie is second season of White Lotus

50 years before White Lotus fuck are you talking about I? 50 years before White Lotus, fuck are you talking about? I don't know. And what I also love about the movie is there's so many things where like it sort of lets you try to figure out like why did this person do that? Why did she do that? Why is this going on? And you're left with all these questions and it fucking makes you think. I mean, I love the movie

But I guess I'm just a fucking moron Because somebody who never made a fucking movie thinks it's a piece of shit There there's always that you know But I do respect critics because you know what a critic is a critic is a hater that made it You know because most people just sit around hating and they don't make any money. But a critic is a hater that figured out how to make a living. So God bless him.

I am fascinated with how a critic makes it. Like with anything else, like a comedian, I do open mics, I get five minutes together. A comic that's further on down the road takes a liking to me, hey, you know, why don't you come down and do five minutes in front of this, the club owner sees me and then I get going. I have no idea. I have no idea how that happens.

But I'm not singling this critic out, it's just a buddy of mine. He saw the movie and he liked it too and he goes, you know, this person in the New York Times, they didn't like it and they sent it to me and I just, I was reading, I started to read it and I was just like, all I'm reading is I didn't get enough pussy in life and this guy who's the lead in this movie looks like Rob Lowe and banged everyone from fucking Jane Fonda to whoever Francis Jane Fonda is. And why should he get all the pussy and a good review? It reminded me of that thing I watched recently where that guy just shit on and called him the brat pack.

He was hanging out with them and he saw them, they were young, they had money and they had women and he didn't. And they were like seven seven eight years younger than him and he was like 29 gonna turn 30 And he realized that that part of his life went by And everybody in their head is a guy thinks maybe i'll be the cool guy Maybe i'll have a beautiful girlfriend maybe things maybe my dream will come true and somewhere around 29 or 30 Is the first time you start thinking well maybe it doesn't and then you then that's when you first start becoming a grumpy old man unless you unless you kind of

fucking nip it in the butt or in the bud or whatever that fucking expression is there you go that's my two cents. What do I know? Huh? What do I know? I'm just a fucking ginger who drove five hours today. So anyway, I'm very excited to go as much as I'm making fun of the French. I love the language. I love everything about it. I've been working my ass off on it.

My daughter is just trashing me and my accent and everything. And it's just like, well, you must be really good at speaking French because you sound like every French person I've ever met. They can't just hang in there with you. You know what I mean? They can't fucking work with you.

I work, you know, French people come over here. I, you know, they're fucking up every other goddamn word they're saying to me and I'm working with them. I don't go. Oh god, Jesus Christ stop All right Anyway, uh, I'm really gonna look for I cannot wait for those gigs. It's gonna be It's gonna be amazing and I'm bringing my lovely wife over there and It's just gonna it's gonna be we've had some from the most

Fun moments we've had in our relationship. In fact go back to La Piscine. There is a a famous Cafe cafe In central pay There is a famous cafe, cafe in San Tropez. And it's all red. I always forget the name of it. And it's funny, when you go down to the boardwalk, you're just drawn to it. And it's sort of the famous one from like back in the day.

And I remember going there. It's actually in the day And I remember I remember going there it's actually in the movie and And it sort of I feel like it was when that place was still like the place to be I want to say it opened in the late 40s or in the 50s so, you know Just the ghosts of the people that were in there. I feel like it was like the place to be 50s, 60s or whatever. Now it's just sort of like this, you know, staple. What's a good example of that? Like out here. Um, I wouldn't say Dan Tannis cause Dan Tannis still has their vibe.

Um, like if you ever come out here, if you check out Dan Tanna's, they got like career waiters there, which are the best. They're just the coolest guys ever. They know the menu. They know how to take care of you. It's all old school. But, you know, you sit down at a table or a booth, just do yourself a favor, glance up at the bar at the regulars.

And that is the show within the show. It's one of my favorite places in LA. And, uh, you know, as much as I quit drinking, I really respect people who have no intentions of ever doing that, you know, and they're down there on a Tuesday night, you know, they got the fucking, you know, gin blossom nose and they're just, half of them look like they have gout and they're just fucking. And you look at them, it's like, that's another way to do it. They're all laughing their balls off, having a fucking great time.

So I always get a fucking living vicariously through them going like, yeah, as much as it's bad for you. It is fun as hell, man. So anyway, I was watching my Red Sox tonight. We were up, what were we at? Four to three, five to four, I don't even know. Against the Astros was the more exciting part of the game where our bullpen comes in.

After watching them all season, I am just envious of other teams that can just fucking, you know, when their bullpen comes in, get ground balls. We're not good with the ground balls right now. I don't know what we gotta do. We're just not getting a lot of ground balls. People hit the ball in the air from the sixth inning on against us. But like, I have to tell you this. I don't give a fuck who you are.

You cannot say that this Red Sox team isn't fun to watch. Every game is fucking exciting. You know, every once in a while we'll get blown out. But like, you know, the other day we played the fucking Orioles, we scored 12 runs and only won by two. Nobody's shutting those games off. But anyway, what was I going to talk about? Oh, so I'm watching the game and tonight I had the, I get the baseball package and then for whatever reason they only had the Houston Astro

They only had the Houston Astro feed and Al Tuve's up, right? Al Tuve. And they're showing highlights of them in 2017, just crushing it and just rattling off stats like they weren't cheating that year, like they didn't fix a fucking World Series. It just fucking blows my mind blows my fucking mind blows my fucking mind same way with the Dodgers it was my interpreter all right that's yesterday's news I get it you know you're an ass you know it's I get it you You know, you're an ass, you know, it's I get it. You're the Astros. I fucking get it and all of that. So it's your thing. But you're going to start rattling off to stats. Look, they count that they count that fucking World Series. God bless you. God fucking bless you.

God fucking bless you. I mean, I just, I don't know. I just, it, it... I'm telling you, my theory is when you're really cheating, they bust you, they figure out who did it, and the justice, and then it's over quick. And then there's a gag order, everybody

shuts up and acts like it didn't happen. But if you do some tiki-tac shit, right, cork bat, you got some fucking shit on your jersey when you're pitching that shit lasts forever Phil Neek row fucking or was it Joe Neek row? Taking something that nail file he throw tries to throw it out of his back pocket That shit lasts for you're gonna see that shit Hundred years from now if we don't destroy the fucking planet but you will not see anything about the interpreter or the fucking 2017

Houston Astros because that shit is fucking legit and that is not good for the game. Okay you can't have the modern day Babe Ruth get suspended for the rest of the season. He can't. It was the interpreter. It was the room service maid. It was anybody but fucking him. Anyway, whatever. That's also the fun of the fucking game.

But I will say this, okay? I am also man enough to say El Tuve, you know, didn't need to do that shit, but he did. And he's a fucking great baseball player. And I don't think that that should keep him out of the hall any more than I think Barry Barnes should not be in the Hall of Fame. You know, he didn't take steroids until after people who sucked took steroids and were had better stats than him. And nobody did anything about it. It was fucking entrapment.

That's my opinion. Anyway, I've been I've been actually following these some really cool accounts on Instagram where like former like Major League Baseball pitchers, one guy from the Marlins, he just break down, he just breaking down at bats on, okay, the first pitch he swung at this or he didn't swing at this and then what he's doing to just, you know, the fucking mind game that's going on up there. I mean, I played baseball like every kid growing up, but nobody was throwing that type of shit. Like I was doing so bad in school.

My parents pulled me out of sports and like by the sixth grade, fifth grade, so I could focus on my studies. And what's funny is I still flunked everything. At least I could have learned, you know, the finer points of America's pastime, you know? Um, but anyway, no one was throwing. I think people were just starting to throw curve balls, but, uh, so I, I didn't play baseball long enough to understand the level of like mind game.

I mean, obviously I knew like the catcher was calling like what to do now, what to do next, and all of that, blah, blah, blah. But I had no idea the level until you hear a former professional baseball pitcher talking about it. It's incredible. All right with that with that babble. What the fuck am I here? Oh my god damn what am I supposed to look up here? Okay great emails and okay okay Mike Love has to go on stage with Mick Jagger after trashing him. Oh my God. The great Andrew Themelis showed me this. I don't know when the fuck this happened, but Mike Love from the Beach Boys, okay, who

has been wearing a baseball hat like longer than anybody I know. I don't know when he started losing his hair, but that guy's been wearing a fucking hat for as long as I've been alive. And I think it was the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And for whatever reason, he started talking shit about how Mick Jagger has been like ducking him He was talking like he was a fighter and how Mick Jagger has been ducking him and he's afraid of him Because the Beach Boys will kick the Rolling Stones ass on stage. First of all, he's saying this like It's like dude, this is the shit you should have been talking in the 60s You know

What what are they like 70 year old baby boomers? Yeah, that's right. You tell him, Mike. Like 70 year old Rolling Stones fans, you know, chiming in. It's pretty fucking ridiculous. I don't know why he would do that. But then after he did that for whatever, they had that big stupid jam where they have like 100 people on the stage. One of my favorite

Howard Stern rants of all time when he was making fun of those all-star jams when there's like fucking nine drummers on stage and 15 guitarists and it never sounds good. And everybody's just fucking, you know, we are the worlding it. And so anyway, in the end, they start playing Satisfaction and Mick Jagger goes out there and then Mike Love is sort of like, I don't know what he's trying to do next to Mick Jagger, sort of acting like they're still buddies, acting like he didn't say what he said. It's really fucking and he's got a tambourine and make is just being Mick and like he wasn't mean to him. He just was like he just went out and did his fucking thing.

And Mike Love like literally Mick Jagger looks like fucking Mick Jagger the lead singer of the Rolling Stones and Mike Love out was out there looking like somebody's dad Dancing at a wedding. It's really fucking embarrassing It's funny when I watch shit like that like I always get embarrassed for the person You know as much as he kind of deserved that. It's just like, I mean, who the fuck hasn't been in that position where you ran your fucking mouth at the wrong time and then you just get just shut down? Andrew sent me the original speech and I was watching it and I'm listening to him, my fucking jaws on the ground going

Like no, no don't do that Don't do that. Like I Used to love the Beach Boys when I was a kid and then somewhere along the line I started to hate them and then I watched this thing on Okay, what the fuck's his name not what what the name of the guy, the genius, and then Brian, I'm just going to go with Jones. I can't remember people's fucking names. Wilson. Wilson.

Brian Wilson, right? And I saw this whole thing on him about the genius of the harmonies and and the way he built the songs the structure and all that and Then his mental illness and the demons he was struggling with and then all of a sudden so much of the Beach Boys music Made sense Like if you listen to good good vibrations Okay, it just sounds like this almost like cornball sort of middle America, you know, just a white family in a station wagon going out to you know, I'm picking up good vibration, you know, dad smoking a cigarette, grilling hot dogs, bop bop and all this fucking like,

really like, almost like Lawrence Welk rock, right? And then out of fucking nowhere comes this fucking psychotic paranoia. Gotta keep those vibrations. It just gets all fucking weird for a minute. Gotta keep those vibrations in It just gets all fucking weird for a minute before then it goes back like the medicine kicked in Good, good, good

Just gonna ignore that whole fucking dark period like I don't know So whatever, so I got like all this whole fucking appreciation. I mean, who the fuck am I to say I got appreciation from one of the great bands of all time? I'm just saying like, I'm admittedly, I don't know shit about music, but like, I haven't said all of that. I don't even, why would you ever even compare the Beach Boys to the Rolling Stones? They're like, they're not even in the, they stand at the other fucking apples and oranges. That's completely different. I thought all of those bands Beach Boys, Beatles and

Rolling Stones were all completely fucking different like like that was like the big stupid argument. I was like better Rolling Stones on the fucking Beatles. It's like I like both of them for different reasons It's like what do you like better you like steak or scrambled eggs? Hey, I don't that's breakfast and dinner. I don't even know what you're talking about and I like both of those meals Cuz I don't like being hungry. I don't what am I talking about? I don't know I'm just saying my gloves should have kept his fucking mouth shut Okay, you were smart enough to wear a hat for 50 years. You'd think you'd be smart enough to not call up Mick Jagger,

who's still running around like he's fucking 25 years old. Anyways, if you want to see it, there's a video of it online. If you're into train wrecks, you got to watch the speech first and then watch that part. I got to admit, just watching Mike love speech I have to I feel like after even he went on stage with Mick Jagger he probably said to his friends you see that he was afraid of me couldn't even look at me all right let's do some reads here, everybody. Oh, look who it is, everybody.

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Let me tell you, I went to a fucking wedding and I loved this guy's suit two years ago and thought he spent a whole bunch of money on it and it turned out it was Indochino. That's 10% off at I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O dot com with code Burr. You know what's hilarious is on my way up to Monterey, I saw this guy in a jeep and on the windshield of his jeep, you know, like where you back in the day you'd have a little tent for the sun. It said extreme terrain it's just fucking stupid what do you why would you do that you're already driving a Jeep everyone knows it's good off-road you

got the book top big tires on it why you gotta have extreme terrain that's like you were a black belt you stand there wearing your like you're a black belt and you stand there wearing your gi, you got a black belt and then you bandana says, I kick ass. You might not want to fuck with me because I have a black belt. Now here's what you have in the bandana. If you move your eyes down towards my waist, you will see my achievement in the art, the martial art of my choosing. Um, but that's the kind of shit, that shit was cool when I was a kid. Now it's just kind of funny. But like anything, like when I was growing up, everything, like anything that had words on it, you know, if your tires had raised white lettering on it,

any sort of badges, any sort of stickers that they could put on the fucking car. I remember when I used to do my paper route, anything that had a fucking sticker on it, I thought it was amazing. What's so funny was the 80s and so many of those cars, because of whatever, they had the catalytic converter. I don't what happened to that? What happened to that shit? There's more horsepower. There's like three times as much fucking horsepower now. That's what's so funny. Like people sit there, they're bitching about these fucking

electric cars and it's like, and then they're talking about muscle being back in the day when you had fucking beep-a-dop-a-doo. It's like even those fucking cars back in the day, those muscle cars, they had like three 350 horsepower maybe 325 or whatever. These fucking cars today, there's still plenty of gas powered engines and like the level of horsepower they're putting out is is fucking insane. Um, I ain't even talking about no goddamn hellcat here. Um, I think the average fucking BMW could beat a muscle car with like the stock engine that they had it in. They always

like glorifying. There's a lot of bullshit is what I'm saying that's being slung out there but I think that that's what they do to get like clicks. Like I saw something today they showed three songs that were hit songs that you didn't know were covers. The first one was George Harrison, I got my mind set on you. And they show the original artist with some unknown black dude, right? And then they did another song from the 80s. And then they cut to the original artists, it's in black and white. And it was a black woman.

And then they did Blondie, the tide is high. And I think that was some black dude, right? And that's okay. You know, they just dropped the breadcrumbs and then everybody in the comments is like, I'm starting to see a theme here. Beep beep, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. And then they started acting like George Harrison and Blondie and all them ripped off these original artists and it's just like

It's it's a cover Okay, when you steal a song you steal that's that's stealing you do a cover If they did a cover of it the the the original artist's name is given credit in the liner notes It's just you guys download fucking music now so you can't read that shit and then when you do a cover you have to pay whoever owns the song which is usually the label so that fucks the original artist not George Harrison not Blondie then not to mention when when blondie or whatever they redo the song they also have management they're also signed to a record label so they're

getting fucked and the genius of the businessman is nobody knows what they look like and whoever's out in public George Harrison blondie they get they get shit on like they're the ones fucking like making all this money at George Harrison I don't know that guy was like smart they had like their own label and all of that stuff um I don't know and I don't know the numbers behind any of that stuff but to just sit there and act like these people diabolical diabolically just rip these other people off that's that's not what happened a cover is dip like whenever like people give zeppelin shit for stealing these people in the comments and go what about the Rolling Stones? They ripped off all these blues ours. It's like no they didn't they did covers of the songs and they had credit

In there and then they used that blues music that they were doing to then create their own fucking style Which doesn't sound? Like the other shit. I don't know. That's just, I'm not saying that there's not stealing, but there's a difference between a cover. What Zeppelin did early in their career, that was stealing because they would just take it and then they wrote in the, in the credit was page plant. I still have cassette tapes, so I think I got rid of them, that say Page Plant. And if you buy them now, it says Howlin' Wolf. That's stealing. Okay youngsters, sorry.

There you go. All right. Anyway, plowing ahead. Clamming and living off the land. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. What did I open? Okay.

Hey, Billy Red Clams. Not to say that white artists haven't stolen the blah. I'm not saying that either, but I'm just saying. All right. There's this, this. I don't know. Just the way that this shit, I hate that fucking Instagram where they just lead you They just drop the giant

Pieces of breadcrumbs right to the the thing that they want and then in the comments people are acting like that They've they've somehow read the tea leaves like it was somehow difficult. It's like they're just leading you by the fucking nose To what they want. They want you to say out of all the fucking songs they could have picked. Right? All right. On the Monday morning podcast, you talked about your little clamming experience. Okay. First of all, go fuck yourself.

All right? Your little clamming. You're already talking down to me. I didn't talk about my little clamming experience. I talked about going clamming and how fun it was and what a cool experience was. I didn't act like I was a fisherman. All right. Okay.

I get it. You got fucking you got you got those those fishing boots. All right. You mentioned how living off the land meant people used to have a lot more free time back in the day. It reminded me of this book called Sapiens by, oh my god, Yuval Noah Harari. Harari. That's one of my favorite Italian cars. He talks about how the agricultural revolution more so resulted in the domestication of man rather than us domesticating plants like wheat and shit. Wheat was pretty much an obscure plant that only grew in a small area of the planet before

it got us to spend all day tending to it. Now it's one of the most successful living organisms and we can't live without it. Oh, this is interesting. I would actually, if I had time, I'd love to read. The stuff that you guys read, this is why you guys are all smarter than me in certain areas, all right? Don't let your fucking ego get away from you there. When we were hunter-gatherers, we spent way less time acquiring food, and we're probably much happier people.

I think it depends on when. Yeah, I don't think I'd want to live in a fucking cave. But like, you know, once we had like shelter and stuff, I don't think I'd want to live in a fucking cave. But once we had shelter and stuff, I don't know. I'm kind of afraid of all of that free time. What the fuck would you do with all of that? Anyway, the book covers from evolution to the invention of things like religion, corporations, and money.

I think this book totally jives with the themes you tend to ramble about. And it's totally changed the way I think about the world and what's important. Alright, let me read the name of this thing again. Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari. H-A-R-A-R-I. Sapiens, S-A-P-I-E-N-S. I'm gonna screenshot that. This is yet another book I'm gonna buy and read 40 pages of, and then have it haunt me sitting on my nightstand.

You didn't finish it, Bill. You always start things, but you never finish things. Successful people finish it, Bill. You always start things, but you never finish things. Successful people finish things, Bill. Why can't you finish things? What are you afraid of? What are you searching for? Anyway, by the way, my wife and I saw you in Seattle during your special, and it was one of the best nights out

we've had in a long time. So thank you for that. Go fuck yourself. Well, thank you, sir. And'm thrilled that is it is locked and now we can start mixing it all right here we go praying to reject cookies all right is this actual cookies or is this cookies on the internet hey Bill I'd love to hear your thought on media websites now asking we either accept cookies or is this cookies on the internet? Hey Bill, I'd love to hear your thought on media websites now asking we either accept cookies or pay to reject them.

I understand it's around $30 per year per website and even if you pay the fee, your data will probably be sold anyway. Oh, that's the biggest sucker thing ever, ever, ever. Don't pay that fucking fee. There's nobody watching them. It's just a new, they're gonna get 30 bucks from all of these fucking people and then sell it. So they're making even more fucking money.

It's why you need to tip in cash and not on your fucking credit card. But cash will be phased out in six fucking years. I went to a museum this week, not a museum, the aquarium this weekend and they were like, they accepted cash if you had the exact amount. Like we're not making change. It's like, fuck you, it's legal tender, you cunt. Sorry. Whatever. There's no, there's no reason to fight the fucking herd. You know? The worst thing about the herd right now is they are more upset about the Tesla truck than they are about our fucking food supply. That's what the focus is. Or at least it is on Instagram, and that's my reality.

And that's my reality. Yeah, don't pay that 30 bucks. That's just another way. That's white collar. That's the legal side of stealing. The legal side of stealing is where you want to be. Alright? You want to be on the white collar side. And then you can just buy judges and politicians and cops and whatever the fuck you need, you know, lobbyists to create laws. And you can just buy judges and politicians and cops and whatever the fucking need, you know, lobbyists to create laws. And you can just steal from people.

That is 30 bucks in the fucking trash. Somebody says, fuck this. You were right all along. Our identities and data belong to runaway trains of corporate greed. They're squeezing the tit in such a flagrant and open way. And this is yet another thing we've been blindsided by. I feel this is related to the AI boom in some way, but way above my station understanding. Yeah, it's like the second you start to wade into those waters to try and figure out what's

going on, it's like so fucking overwhelmingly depressing that human beings could be that fucking just evil and that's that outright dishonest to their fellow countrymen fellow human beings and just have no morals whatsoever and it's just all about who can get the biggest house and the biggest pool and the best-looking woman and that's all they get and they don't give a fuck who they have to step on. I feel like that's why I am just sort of pulling away from all of it because it drives you nuts after a while. So now I just look at, you know what, I go on a little weekend with my daughter, I play

baseball with my kid, I teach them how to ride a bike. We go swimming. I sit on my back porch or drink coffee and I try to learn some French words and I just don't pay attention to what's going on is a much like I don't know. It's way more effective for me how I want to fucking live because I don't have the ability to lead or start a fucking revolution Like however, you would fight back. How the fuck can you even fight back against us? They could they they're tracking you everywhere you go back in the day. They they didn't know they didn't know where the rebels were hiding

I Don't know it It's weird. The whole thing is fucking weird. It's unsettling. But anyways, plowing forward. It's Monday everybody. Somebody says, I guess I'll just go to the library and bring home some fiction I can read on my lawn chair.

I've been regressing more and more with technology and the less I use it the happier I am." Isn't that the truth? Something has to tip the scales if it hasn't already. The lizard people have access to unprecedented levels of information and it still isn't enough for them. Thanks for the laughs and go erase yourself. Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't know. This is... It really makes me feel that like, yeah, all religion, like, you know it's bullshit. You know it's just made up by human beings because the people that run it, you know, they sit there talking about getting punished in this afterlife and the way they conduct themselves in their business of religion, they don't seem to be worried about it whatsoever.

Whatsoever. I don't know. Like I said, I think whoever created us is just continuing to create the universe because you know, if God made us in his image image then that would mean he also has depression issues and It's just sort of fucking Made us and then moved on to the next fucking solar system to the next one to the next one And that's why he hasn't come back because he's just

on the other side of his studio Maybe that's where we are. We're in his Soho flat Anyway older women issues Hey, Billy blue balls Love the podcast and I listen to it when I can as I as I work Helps me out a lot with how I think about life and the ladies I just about life and the ladies.

I just turned 22 and I have been dating and living with this amazing woman who's 29 years old. The age difference is fine. We're both totally kind of into it, but I mean, who wouldn't be? But we've gone through some shit. Parentheses. Abortion. Cheating. Parents died.

Jobs lost. Et cetera. You're 22 years old, you've already gone... How long you been with her? Jesus Christ. Any one of those things is enough to take down a relationship. Abortion, cheating, parents died, jobs lost, etc. And it's just kind of left us both at each other's throats. Well I would think so. I love her but the fact that I've cheated on her now a couple of times make me think, makes

me think I don't love her the way she needs. There's no way this is real. I get it you're 22. She wants to settle down and make a bunch of financially stable decisions. I want to travel and pursue my dreams of being a science teacher. Look at you. Who knew there was a pussy hound science teacher out there, which she supports but won't actually talk to me about doing. It feels like I should leave her and try to make my dreams happen, but I have my cat and my nice synthesizer at her house." This is just reading too comically to be real. I don't know how to end things without it being messy, and even if I do,

I feel like there's only a couple more shots at finding that right person. Dude, you're 22 fucking years old. If this is actually a real email, I'll just answer it like it's real. Anyway, tell me what the fuck your wrinkly bald cute little head can think of and I'll give it a shot. Hope to hear this on the pod and thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, you're just, you're wasting this woman's time

and she's 29 years old and she should be with a man. And you're still young. All right, you're a kid, you're 22. Your brain isn't even fucking formed yet. And you're with this 29 year old who knows what she wants to do. And you knocked her up. You got an abortion, you cheated on her twice.

I think you've, I think you've done enough to her Why don't you give her a gift and break up with her so she can go out and find somebody that's ready to be with Her and wants to be with her. Okay, and then you need to move on That's it. All right, and I refuse to believe that that's real and if you're a fucking I All right, and I refuse to believe that that's real and if you're a fucking I Don't know 22 come on you can't go around doing shit like that, but you know what I Heard people in my 20s too and in my 30s, you know, so I'm not gonna judge you but

Yeah, just from that shit there I would fucking I would I would, I would let her go. Alright, the pylon. Uh, Bill, I got a problem with a habit some people I know have. There's a guy at work, every, eh, there's a guy at work everyone doesn't like, and for good reason. The annoying part is, let me guess, let me guess, he hums too loud to the radio, he whistles a song that doesn't exist, he eats with his mouth open. The annoying part is that they just jump on everything he does even if he's not doing something wrong. I also don't like the guy but I find myself defending him occasionally and people look at me funny because they expect me to be a team player when it comes to being a hen. That's all it is. Just being a cackling bitch hen.

Often their comics start with, can you believe? They're obsessed and addicted to what they can hate on next. Every day someone walks up to our corner and tries to zing the guy because their lives are boring as shit. The kicker is the guy is good at his job. Well, it is the left turn, so I'm hoping he gets a director position just to watch them melt down.

Can I just applaud you for enjoying the show within the show and being above all of it? I think you should defend this guy more just to annoy them. Also, two of the, you haven't even told me what he does though. Also, two of the three people I'm talking about are cheating on their spouses, but are always acting like they have a moral high ground. Piling on us for pussies. Thanks and go fuck yourself.

Alright, you know what dude? That wasn't even a question. That was just a fucking statement to live by. Oh my god, you should say that one time when they go Can you believe so-and-so but blah blah blah blah blah da da da you should be like, oh, yeah Do you think about that when you're cheating on your wife? Wow, that's a fucking mic drop right there Wow, that's a fucking mic drop right there Anyway, I think that's it that is the podcast everybody

How about some overalls here I like that movie la pasine I stand by it And I stand by any critic out there that actually has the balls to say that they like something but critics I don't like are the ones who just fucking hate everything. So then it's just kind of like, well, well, yeah, that doesn't in your opinion doesn't mean shit anymore, right? Let me guess you hate this too. And then also, here's the ray of light with all of these fucking assholes trying to get all your private information and all of that shit. Which you'll notice Donald Trump won't talk about that and neither will Kamala, whatever fucking name is. I don't pay attention. I never know the vice president. Knowing the vice president's name is like knowing the backup quarterback, alright? It's like get a fucking life.

quarterback all right it's like get a fucking life. No one that guy's fucking name we know the place kickers names to get a fantasy team. Is the reality of life a little too fucking depressing. There's nothing stopping you from being. Helpful. To your neighbor. Go to mom and pop things. Like you know, fuck Starbucks.

They don't want to pay their fucking employees and then the CEO comes in there and gets a fucking what do you get a nine-figure signing but 113 million dollars signing bonus dude fuck them their coffee sucks. It's terrible coffee You know you don't have to fight Washington or or fucking Best Buy just have your own little personal war just pick one Whatever the corporation is and go to a mom-and-pop place Just fucking do that.

All right. I like that guy. I'm going to read a book. I'm going to get off the fucking Internet. And what's great is if you guys weren't on the Internet right now, you wouldn't be hearing this. So this is another fantastic thing that makes us human beings is just being a complete fucking hypocrite.

All right. So once again, I tried to make an intelligent point and I just exposed myself for the fucking moron that I am, but somewhere in there I think was a positive message. I don't know. Alright, that's it. That is the podcast. Go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on Thursday.