Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 8-28-23

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

Bill rambles about being rear-ended by a truck, his guide to NYC, and 'Uptown Girl'. AG1:  Take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D, and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at www.drinkAG1.com/BURR   Policy Genius: Head to www.policygenius.com or click the link in the description to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save .

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday August 28th 2022 what's going on 23 sorry? 2023 Shit, you know some days you haven't such a great day that something fucked up has to happen and that's what happened a me today. I had some buddies of mine. A buddy of mine was playing it plays drums. You know, he's in town. He's out in Riverside because you got to come out, check out my new kit and blah, blah, blah. So I go down there, I watch him play sound check, sick ass, Ludwig Kid double bass, my dub, it's amazing.

It lets me sit on the kit for a second. We go out, we get coffee, lead singer hangs out, everything's fucking great. I'm not naming names, because I don't know. I don't know, I just, you know, I was like fucking name dropping and shit, but totally cool guys, right? So we fucking, we're hanging out.

And I'm driving home and I'm just merging on to this highway, driving like, you know, fucking 10, 15 miles an hour. And I was like, boom, I just get rear-ended. And I looked at this like this fucking 18 wheeler. It's like there's no way you didn't see me. I didn't whip into his land. I wasn't being that, you know, the truckers hate when the cars like,

don't respect him and cut him off. And like, I wasn't even doing that. I was just gradually going in. He just fucking bangs into the back. My car just keeps going. So I'm like, what the fuck? And looking at him and he gives me like the peace sign. Like, like, you know, peace means everything.

Like peace, I'm sorry, it peace out. I'm outta here. So I think he meant I'm outta here. So I got his license plate. So I call the fucking 911. They're like, you know, kind of like what exit it happened on, you gotta pull over. I gotta send the cop, I don't have time.

I'm leaving the country and they go, well you can go to a CHP thing, you do this, you file a report, you have his license, I got his license playing, you fucking do this, you did it, I just said, all right, all right, forget it, forget it, just forget it. side of the road. There's no fucking place to pull over. I'm not going to get hit while I'm sitting here. And at the end of the fucking day, I'm going on the road for two weeks. I don't know what my car looks like. And I'm getting on my car. It's not bad. He fucked up the rap. He scratched some shit. But just, you know what annoyed me is that he didn't pull over. If he just pulled over and gave me his side, I would just feel like, all right, you know, I don't want to go through all this bullshit. Do you? Fuck it. I don't care.

All right. I never put anything through my insurance company. I never do it. I never do it because even if it's not my fault, they still raise my rates. So fuck them. Okay. And I don't want to talk to a bunch of cops about this bullshit. They're busy doing other stuff.

And then I got to give out all this fucking information. You know, I don't want to get the guy that drove the truck in trouble. I didn't think I didn't. May I run his version? Maybe I did some wrong. I just was coming over. So whatever, I got a body shot. I'm just gonna drop it off tomorrow. And when I return from my run of dates overseas, it will be repaired. They'll say how much it is. I will pay it and I will get on with my fucking life. Whatever.

The guy driving the truck really fucking annoyed me because I was gonna be cool. Because if he said it was my fault And it sounded like it was I didn't think it was I don't give a fuck You know, but whatever I get it I Get it he probably deals with guys and cars all the time that are fucking assholes And he had had enough and just decided he was gonna fucking driving to me and I hit the lottery, right? But also I look at it like the balance of life, you know

My day was fucking great and I hit the lottery, right? But also, I look at it like the balance of life, you know? My day was fucking great, you know? And I went down, I got to play a fucking killer double bass drum set, have coffee, and just watched this amazing band play sound check. And it's just like, why wouldn't that happen? It just bugged me that he didn't even think I fuck you. I'm not pulling over fuck you. I don't know. Sometimes I really feel like the rude behavior of the internet is now spilling out into real life. And I just really mean like the level of rude that people are in like comments and shit like that. That just becomes like a habit and just everybody just has to be like a douche.

You know, I mean, I thought I was being cool because like I could have been like, oh my God, my neck. Oh my God, I have whiplash, oh my God, I'm, I thought I was being cool because like I could have been like oh my god my neck Oh my god, I have whiplash. Oh my god. I'm gonna sue your fucking company. I wasn't being that guy I know what what what what what what the fuck are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What the fuck are you gonna do? So anyway um I'm getting ready to go to Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi, do. I'm not a lady. I'm nervous about the fucking show because they asked me to do it. And then I said, really? And they were like, yeah, and I was like, all right.

And then it becomes like, don't talk about this, don't talk about that, that, that, that, that, that, that. I'm like, dude, what the fuck? Now I'm all nervous. I ain't trying to get arrested or broad. I'll go out there to fucking talk, Seto, and do knock, knock jokes. I am not

Yeah, I Don't need any fucking Lenny Bruce cred. I'm not trying to get arrested and fucking. I'm not doing that shit, so Whatever I'm gonna feel about I think it's gonna be like a bunch of expats from what I heard English Australia American, you know bankers Developers whatever I think that that's what the crowd's gonna be so English, Australia, American, you know, bankers, developers, whatever. I think that that's what the crowd's going to be. So I'm going to get the lay of the land before I go up there, but you know, there's always like that thing in the back of my head. Like I remember when I did that gig in India that I had such a great time doing, but I had to

get a piece of paper saying I could go into the country to do it. Then I had to get that piece of paper that said I could leave. I couldn't get it until I went to the country and I had to go to whatever the hell it was, the consulate, the embassy. I don't know what it was, but I just remember the promoter was like, I don't worry, man, I'll go in there with you, we'll go in and we'll knock it out. And we went to go into the place and then they were like, yeah, no, you can't come in only the comedian. And then I fucking went in there. And I'm just sitting there like, it out, you know, and there was some beautiful songwriter

that wanted Grammy. And she went over there and they didn't let her out. So I'm thinking like if they don't let her out, there's no fucking way they let me out. Unless it's based on looks like reverse, like at this ugly fucking ball ginger out of here, maybe I got a chance that way. I don't know what, but all I remember was I was sitting in that place with this nice lady I met from Afghanistan and she was trying to figure out if she was going to get out. And then it kind of hit me like, wow, man, I remember when I was a kid, I saw that movie stripes and that guy was trying to teach him English. And it was like, you know, son of bitch, she had sent a bitch shit.

I realized like, wow, I am literally in the classroom right now because I don't speak, you know whatever what is the language? Hindu, Indian, I don't even know what the language is. I know I come from American public schools so all they talk me about was the fucking Mayflower. It's always about white guys coming over and ships. That's all I know. So I finally got the fucking piece of paper. And if you ever go to India, the people there are fucking hilarious. They're ballbreakers. They've got an unbelievable sense of humor.

That's what, that was my big takeaway. When I met the comedians over there, like, like, you're gonna have a good time when you go there, man. They're really, really funny people. So I said to the lady, I was like, all right, I got the piece of paper, I go, so tonight I have to my show, when I take the red eye out, I can leave, right? And she did that thing,

where she does the bobblehead thing, which that's like shrugging your shoulders over there. She didn't nod, yes. She didn't say no, she just did the bobblehead thing, which that mean that's like shrugging your shoulders over there. She didn't nod, yes. She didn't say no, she just did the bobblehead thing. And then I was like, well, what is, what was the purpose of me getting this then? And she did it again. And I was like, all right, well, I'm getting DMV vibes here. So I'm just going to take my piece of paper and leave.

So I went out and I did my show and the entire time I'm doing the show in the back of my head, I'm thinking like, am I going to get out of here? Whatever, but I did my show and then afterwards I hung out with a bunch of comics from over there and we had a great fucking time. And then I went to the airport. Unfortunately, it was so late at night, there was like nobody there. And I hand the piece of paper to the dude. I'm like, yes, this is saying I could leave.

And he fucking does the bobblehead thing. And I was like, I lost my temper. I remember that. I'm like, I'm fine, I have to go. I have a show I'm gonna do. I just did that and I sort of grilled my, I want to once I lost my temper, I'm like, I'm fine. I have to go. I have a show I'm going to do. I just did that. I sort of grilled my, once I lost my temper, I was like, oh no, I just fucked my, but it actually worked.

Maybe he was tired or what. I did, but I did not feel comfortable until, I think we connected and do by. I didn't feel comfortable until the plane took off and we were over Europe. And then I just kept playing in my head like, well, I still haven't cleared customs to get back into the United States. So anyway, I'm anticipating that it's going to be a great show. I just, I'm a little like, you know, I just, you know, I don't wanna go to somebody's country and piss people off.

Like, I'm not trying to do that. I'm also, I don't feel like going over there and getting in trouble, you know what I'm, so. And I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I have so much fucked up shit in my act right now. And I'm just going through it in my head. And it's like you ever see when those people come over

and they're just like, you know, they're trying to help somebody like clean up their closet. And what I love is all I do is just throw out a bunch of shit. They don't try to talk to the person and figure out how the fuck did you end up with this closet full of shit? They don't. They just go, what's the last time you wear this? That's in that pile. These, we keeping the, no, I like those. No, we're throwing these up. That's what my actors right now. I'm just like, can I do this bit? No, no, throw that one out. Can I do that? Fucking throw that out. So I think, but I think this

happens to me a lot because I freaked out when I was doing that gig in India going like, you know, uh, you know, are they going to know what I'm talking about and blah, blah, blah, blah. Am I going to get out of the country and everything worked out. So I think that that's what's going to happen. I'm just more like, uh, I just want to get over there and do it. Because I'm hoping it goes well, and then I can come back and go to a Moto GP race or a Formula One race over there or something like that. And then I'm also like, I've never been

in like an Arabic country or anything like that. So I'm kind of fascinated to just like, you know, do what I do in every country. I just kind of find like a cafe where it's like good people watching and I just sit and I just kind of watch people go buy and I, you know, see the interactions and the cars, like everything is just like interesting, you know?

Like I think the dumbest thing you can do when you go to another country is to go to like a tourist attraction. Unless it was something you really wanted, like I get the Eiffel you can do when you go to another country is to go to a tourist attraction. Unless it was something you really wanted. I'd get the Eiffel Tower and some shit like that, but even if you go to Chicago, don't fucking go to the top of this sears tower. I'm wet looked out at a bunch of shit you shouldn't be doing. I wish there was a sporting event or something

cause that's always fun. I remember when I went to, I was in England one time and I went to a primarily game. What the fuck that I was evertin' versus, I don't know, Arsenal? I can't remember who the fuck it was. But just being there, it's like I can't fucking believe I'm in England right now, and I'm

at a fucking, out of respect for English people, I'll say football, even though we call it soccer. I can't believe I'm at this fucking thing. Watching people drink in pints and ordering. I could murder a cup of tea. I still remember this guy. I could murder a cup of tea. I still remember this guy I could murder a cup of tea. I was just like this is fucking wild Who know who know right signing up for some stupid Talent contest 30 years ago. I would end up I get to do this now. It's fucking wild. So what am I gonna do? I'm gonna cry about this shit.

You know, who knows? Maybe I was fucking in the wrong. Maybe I drifted into his lane. I didn't think I did. I didn't think I did, but I got out of my car. I was expecting that the taillight was gonna be busted and all of that shit. So it was way less damage or whatever.

So, but of course, it's the rear quarter and the bumper. You know, it can never just be like, the bumper, right, we'll just take the bumper out, we'll fucking switch it in, everything's good. You'll be fine. You know what bugged this shit on other things? Something that bugged this shit out of me was, I was watching bug this shit, I know, something that bugged this shit out of me was, I was watching

this clip of, it was Jason Bonham and he was talking about his dad and he was saying what was amazing is my dad, even when he got off his kit and he got him, you know, Jason had like a little kid. He was saying he sounded, he still sounded like him, even on his little kid. So then, and then they cut to ginger baker from a, but where Mr. Baker and he's, you know, that classic line where he's trashin' John Bonham, going, John Bonham couldn't swing a sack of shit. And, I don't know. You know what? I don't fucking get that guy.

I don't get Ginger Baker, and what his fucking problem was, and what all that run in his yet. Can somebody direct me to this song? Because I know this cream, because I'm a fan of cream and I am a fan of ginger baker, but like the way he fucking just shits on people, like he's the be all end all.

Okay, now I'm just whatever. I'm a dad drummer, what the fuck do I know? But like that guy is nowhere near the greatest rock drummer of all time. And he is certainly nowhere near the greatest jazz drummer of all time. He was definitely a great drummer. But what the fuck was he took? Like in what world does that guy challenge Elvin Jones to a drum battle? There's some great quote from Elvin Jones. He was like laughing going like yeah, man that guy's like fucking delusional Anyway, it's just fucking Maybe it was the edit, you know, because I like, like listening

to Jason Tellin' like those family stories about his dad, man, they're fucking incredible. And then this fucking, you know, I don't want to go ginger on, ginger here with the crime, but this fucking grumpy kind of like, who gives a fuck about you when you're backwards beat? with the crime but this fucking grumpy cunt like who gives a fuck about you and your backwards beat. He put the snare on one and three. Oh yeah, it sounded like shit. That back where I'm sorry the backwards beat. It doesn't sound good.

I don't even think it grew. It's like I don't like okay. Alright. Yeah, you did that. Why did you do the while you did with that song is show me why they usually have the snare on two and four. Well, it's fucking ginger baker, fan. That's made, it's just backwards beat.

I would take Keith Moon over ginger baker. All right, I'm deliberately trying to ruffle some feathers here because I'm trying to find out because even in that documentary, Eric Clapton, who I love, when he was talking about Ginger versus John Bonham, even he was going, oh, he's John was not even in the same fucking like stratosphere as Ginger Baker. And like, what am I not going to listen to Eric Clapton but like I don't know my fucking regular ears. I don't see what the big deal is dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb and his stupid fills in the white room.

I don't hear it. I'm not saying he stinks. I'm not saying that at all, but I'm just saying like the like the distance he tries to put between himself and John Bonham. Like I said, I'm just a dad drummer. I'm just that guy that goes in the guitar center and tries to buy the same shit that my heroes played thinking that I'm then going to be as good as them. I did that for a good 30 years before I was like, why don't you just go buy a fucking drum kit that feels comfortable to sit behind, you fucking idiot, right?

Anyway, sorry. Maybe it's the Whiplash. You know what's funny? You know what I get whiplash from is my kids. They just keep fucking, you know, when I'm watching TV or looking at my phone and they don't like it, they just grab my head and as fast as they can whip it around to where they are. It's like a reverse chiropractor. kid chiropractor. Anyway, I haven't even looked at any of the questions or anything I'm supposed to read this week.

I just immediately went into talking about what the fuck just happened. I just can't imagine like driving into somebody and like they just keep going. And it's like, how come you can't call the cops? I'm like, yeah, this guy drove into me and he has the license plate. Like I learned that a long time ago,

back at my previous days, I was sitting at this traffic light. And it was one of those things that it was like, I think two rows of traffic, probably about six cars deep. And this guy just came flying in like 35 miles an hour and like, like he was split and would went right between all of us, take inside view mirrors and door handles with them. Like, just like we like, what the fuck? Like what just happened?

Just like we like what the fuck like what just happened? I think he was having some road rage thing with somebody else and he just punched the gas Like I'm gonna win it all costs so All the guys airbags go off and you don't see him and Everybody's getting out of that car is like dude what the fuck? Like why did that person do that? Is that person okay? And finally the door opens and the guy's got his bag and everything with him

and he just starts yelling at all of us. And he leaves. And I'm thinking in my head, I go, like, I was going to fucking jail. And I called a buddy of mine, who's a lawyer. So you go to jail. He's like, well, there's anybody really? It's like, you can drive into six cars and then just leave the scene and you don't go to jail. It's just, I don't know. There's so much shit that I thought you went to jail for you. Just I had that we just you don't go to jail. Who knew? Who the fuck knew? Let me see what some of the stuff you guys did.

Anybody write in? Doos and Don't starts for Bill's song. I hate. Oh, we got one. Okay. Another hated song. So we do have a couple of those. All right. Well, let me get to the podcast reads here for the week. I just can't believe you can have an 18 wheel of driving to someone. They look at you and you just give them the fucking deuces. All right, man, well, you know, sucks to be you. Anyway, I was happy that it wasn't a lot of damage. And at the end of the day, maybe the guy had a bad day.

I don't want to get that on his fucking record. So whatever, whatever, maybe it was me who gives a fuck. Who gives a fuck? What am I going to do now? Am I going to carry this shit? And I'm going to sit there and like get angry about this guy. I'm not. All right, I am lucky enough to do my dream for a living.

All right, I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful kids. I'm gonna go around, I'm gonna go to Abu Dhabi and then all of Europe, telling jokes. It's a fender-bender bill. Who gives a fuck? There we go. Sorry. This is literally me working it out. The old me. Oh, the old me. Oh, the old me. Oh, geez. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I would have been upset. All right. Policy genius. I didn't even get mad at the guy. I just had the window down when I was on and he had his window down. I couldn't hear. I was like, why did you do that? I wasn't even mad. I was confused. Why is this like a movie shoot and you're the stunt driver? I don't know.

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ago. Wow, it wasn't that wonderful. I've never subscribed to anything so quickly. Well, maybe I need to promote to anything so quickly. Well, maybe I need to promote it a little more. Quick question for you. I attended your Newark show in June, and I'm wondering if I should attend your show in Madison Square Garden. Will it be the same stand-up hour or different content? Yeah, no, dude. If you went to Newark, I would stay home. I mean, if my shows are always different, I do write all the time. I do add new things, but the bones of it is going to be, would be the same thing.

I, again, go check out somebody else's show. You saw my hour. All right. And then when the special comes out, whenever I take my next special, you'll see some of the different things from the comfort of your own home. I don't want you to go into the Lincoln tunnel, drive in and merge like a gentleman and then get rear-ended by some trucker who is sick of cars or whatever the fuck he's sick of. And then

he won't pull over because you're in the tunnel. And then you got to deal with New York cops saying, ah, that's actually on the jersey side of the fucking rigour remora, whatever. Whatever. Um, let's see. When did I do the new word thing? Well, I mean, we'll be five months later. You know i would say there's gonna be too much of the same stuff and i don't want to rip you off so i would stay home there there's that alright new york dues and don'ts hey there old billy new york balls big fan from norway here man i had such a good time

anytime i've ever gone to oslo and i still just remembered like how much people were drinking, they got after it and they, but they were fun. They were fun drunks. They're the key to those three countries there. Norway, Sweden and Finland. As you want to stay on the southern tip, you don't want to go north with the sun never shines and people are so into death metal

that they actually kill members of other bands. You don't need to do that. You stay down near, what is that body of what? Is that the Baltic Sea? Is that the Baltic Sea? Let's see if I remember anything. Why does this thing always do this? It goes right back to whatever the fuck you have in your Google maps.

All right, we're going around the world, the world, the world. That is the Baltic Sea. And what is this other thing? It's sort of all the scagarach. Whenever the hell that is, the North Sea. That's fucking exciting. Look at these. Now, if somebody told me that people in the South of France,

when all the jerk-off tourists come there, they actually go to Croatia, and there's some lake, that's where they go, to get the fuck away from all of us pasty people invading their their world. So what is it? Is it the black sea that they're on? I don't know. Bill, can you stick with the question? All right. What was I talking about? I don't know. Oh, we talk about this person from no, a Norwegian person. I have a trip to New York soon

and I was wondering if you could give some advice on what to do while vacationing there. Well, I moved away in 2007, so, I'll do the best I can. My girlfriend and I are going to spend nine days there. That's a good number. I wouldn't go any further. I don't like being on vacation any longer than like nine days

is kind of perfect. 10 days is too much. 14 days you're like, what do I even do for a living anymore? I have planned trips to several comedy clubs, but that's all I thought of. She has a freaking list that will leave me sweating my ass off if we do all she has planned. All right, let's talk about that right there.

Okay? One of the dumbest things you can do is go to a city and just, you know, go on vacation to someplace and then just fill up every day with shit to do. At that point, you're not on vacation anymore, okay? Like, that's one of the many things that I love about my wife is I remember when we went, oh my God, we wanted to go to Paris. That's all we talked about.

Forever we wanted to go to Paris. That's all we talked about. Forever we wanted to go there. Since I first met her and, you know, we weren't able to do it until, I think we went, oh, we went there on our honeymoon. We finally went. And at that point, we had been talking about it forever. And we finally went there and there was all of this shit that we wanted to go and see and everything.

And we just sorta like and there was all of this shit that we wanted to go and see and everything. And we just sort of like gravitated towards these cafes. And we just sort of sat with the locals and just watched all the tourists go by and all of that type of shit. And like, I just feel like you should, you gotta like, it's, you gotta do some touristy shit. But you can't do it. Like who wants to go on vacation You gotta like, it's, you gotta do some touristy shit, but you can't do it.

Like who wants to go on vacation and just spend it standing in line with a bunch of jerk offs, wearing Styrofoam, Statue of Liberty helmets, or whatever that ring of honor that they fucking, whatever the hell it is that she has. I do love how she, well, give us your poor, giving us your oppressed. You look at the look on her face, she doesn't seem excited.

She's just kinda like, hey, all right, you know, buckle up. Are you guys the latest immigrants here? Well, you're gonna get blamed for everything. Good luck to you. This is how I would approach your girlfriend. I would just say listen, give me your top like five things that you want to do and I, you know, will definitely do those. But I don't think we use the pronoun we identify with we I don't think we want to spend every day

Running around getting on subways trying to see all of this shit New York is not going anywhere all right Let's Like oh my god. What does she want to do? She wants to go up the freedom tower and Then fucking go up the Empire State Building and then go see the Statue of Liberty and then go to Roosevelt Is it Roosevelt? I know what what no, that's not it. What's the one where everybody got processed? Roosevelt Island is that fucking weirdo island with the Gondola

Ellis Island. Then we got to go to Brooklyn. And we got to go see Central, like, go see Central Park and just chill out. Walk around, maybe go see where the John Lennon thing is or maybe you don't. There's always some music, there's some band playing there. Just walk around at a nice leisurely fucking pace. Fuck all these restaurants. Oh my god, we have to eat there. They have the, you know, fuck all of that. If you get there, you get there.

That should be your vibe. Weed is legal, you know, take five milligrams, walk around the city. There's a lot of shit all you just need to do is look at it. You don't need to go in there. You know, when I was in Paris, you know, I did the Louvre. I was just like, where is the Mona Lisa? And I got my stupid ticket. I walked in. I looked at it. It was literally the size of an air conditioner filter, like a house one, right?

It was that big. It was a bunch of fucking jerk offs standing there, not jerk offs, people that actually appreciate art. I was there because like, I guess I was supposed to look at it, but I mean, it might as well have been a reprint in a post office. How quickly I went in there. And once again, when I loved my wife, I'm like, okay, we saw it. You want to get the fuck out of here? She's like, yeah, let's go to a cafe and let's go have some drinks.

She smoked, she used to smoke cigarettes, right? So she smoked a cigarette, I had a little cigar going, you know, I got a fucking, whatever the fuck I ordered, it was delicious food. And that's what we did. And we would just sit there and do that. So I would try to do that when you're in New York. There's a lot of shit you can just look at. You don't need to go up the Empire State Building. All right. You want that experience? Just look out your window when you're landing.

Yes, there is New York. We see it from above. God damn, there's a lot of buildings. Fantastic. Do not. Empire State Building is all right. Statue of Liberty. Do not do that. Do not fucking State bones are right. Statue of Liberty do not do that do not fucking do that go to the Southern tip there battery park take a fucking picture of it do not get on that fucking boat and Go over there and stand in line to climb up into a fucking statue all right the windows are dirty and What you want to see is what's over her shoulder the city you're just looking out At you know over to stat n Island or whatever you it's Biggest fucking ways to time

All right, I would skip Ellis Island. I Wouldn't go up any fucking buildings alright I wouldn't go up any fucking buildings. All right. She's a woman, so she's going to want to go to a museum. So do the museum, a natural history, or whatever like that. But really just sort of find places where there's young people and where they're eating or where they're hanging out and just go in there. I don't know what any of those places are, but I would do that.

But if you're going to fucking, you know would do that, but if you're gonna fucking, You know, they have this is them use the history of taxi cabs in New York. Fuck all of that shit Go to a baseball game Go to a Yankee game I think the US open still going on coast see a tennis match or something like that you get your sporting event in Fuck everything else all right like that you get your sporting event and fuck everything else. All right. We can go down to Wall Street and watch I'm fucking ring the bell. Fuck all of that. You know what? And to get heard to hear your opinion, just if compare them to tourist attractions that you and your girlfriend never go to in Oslo. Oslo, however

the fuck you say, the history of wailing or whatever the fuck you guys do over there. What do you guys do over there? Whatever you do, you keep it on the down low. So I respect that. And let me finish reading this thing. So I've come to you, Mr. Burwood, the hope that you can give some insight on how we should spend our time. I'd go to a Yankee game. I find out where the best slices of pizza are. There's a couple of sick places in Brooklyn. There's a couple of sick places in Manhattan, but there's only a couple. The rest of them are living off the reputation. All right. Okay, great food. You want us to know. Oh, shit.

It's just been too fucking long. There's a bunch of websites out there. Every place is great. If you want a really old school, I do like that cat's his diner. Deli or whatever. And that is a good experience late at night when there's a bunch of young people all hammered going in there or whatever drugs that they're on. That's a fun little part of New York. And the sandwiches are delicious. The fucking incredible. The gigantic. And you only eat half of it in the next one of you wake up and eat the other half and you actually enjoy the heartburn. Other than that, the whole fucking, I would do central

park, I would go to a Yankee game. If the US opens, I've already said everything that I would do. I don't know anything else, but like everything else is online and I'll just give you some advice here. All right, if you're trying to pick a coffee place, when you look up the top coffee places to go to, the pictures should only be of coffee. If it's pictures of coffee and food, fuck that place. If the coffee is in plastic containers, fuck that place. If it's just coffee and they're in, in each one looks like it's in the special mug

that that type of coffee should be in, that's what you wanna gravitate towards. Other than that, it's New York, you're gonna have a great time. It's essentially our Paris. It's the best, you're gonna have a great time. It's essentially our Paris. It's the best city that we have as far as mix of people, you know, people come from all over, move their dominate and reach their goals.

And then New Yorkers like sort of act like they're, they just started adopting people. Like the same way their teams just Sign free agents. They sort of sign free agent talented people Anyway, all right thoughts for Bill. Hey Bill Hey, Billy red face What do they say here? I'm an 18 year old fan. but listening with my dad since I was 14, that's cool. And I've gone back to check out all your other stuff.

You're often checking yourself about sounding like an old man if you complain about the way my generation and the ones before me do stuff. I don't understand why or how it used to be, but only a small percent of my generation and the ones before me do stuff. I don't understand why or how it used to be But only a small percentage by generation is represented in the media. Yeah, the worst part The worst part you're always you're always judged By the worst of you, you know, I mean that's the basis of racism and all of that stuff Massage and I'm raising my hand.

I don't judge all of women. I just judge the psychos. All right, movies and that's our women arm. All right, movies and music. Have you have you thinking that we're all dancing for our phones and listening exclusively to trap music? Reality is that it makes it hard for kids by age to find cool stuff even though it's everywhere because most don't really look Since much as it is shoved down our throat. I actually know what you mean

Because back in the day, a scene could develop. And then all of a sudden, you know, people would start hearing about it and would grow and it would grow and it grow. And then when the mainstream found out about it, that would sort of be the end of it. And then you'd get some bands, new style of clothing, or food or whatever. Sort of like, you know, I always bring this up. Like the metal scene in Los Angeles, the Grunge scene, San Francisco, and, uh, sorry, Seattle, then there was a little scene in San Francisco as far as I just know, I just know about white music, right? Um, but now like all of that shit, it just gets devoured before it even has a chance to get going.

I'll tell you what's amazing book that I read was the Beastie Boys or Beastie Boys, not the Beastie Boys, but Beastie Boys. And it described Manhattan in the 80s, like after it had almost gone bankrupt, after the blackout, after Sun of Sam and all of that. And when the crack 80s were happening, and there all of this it was sort of post I would say Was that that classic club down there CBGB's right sort of post that all those bands for blondie to talking heads for moans all of them Had made it and they were doing these gigs It seemed like it was in the area of like Tribeca,

whatever, but it was like wild. It was just like, there was just nobody there and it just seemed like their generation had the keys to this city. And this amazing scene came out of that. I wish there was like more of that, but like everybody's like filming everything and just ratting it out before it even gets going. So anyway, this kid says,

kids in my school just listen to whatever is the TikTok trend and don't realize there's more. Well, that happened in my generation. People just listen to top 40 and like I'm going back to the 80s now and seeing all these cool movies and bands that I didn't even know so I didn't dig that deep. That is part of being young. Anyway there are never more than five popular songs at a time in the school parking lot really sucks audibly. I'm not complaining and I'm not bullied or bitter just annoyed. I listen to new music but a lot of what makes me go wow is old. Last year I guarantee you there's some sick ass bands out there. It's just trying to find them as hard.

Last year in history we were learning about the dark ages and I kept thinking about how it was better before the dark ages and I kept thinking about how it was better before the dark ages, but during the dark ages, did someone say people always think things were better in their day. Stop complaining because they are trying to make people feel bad for not being happy with the way things are. Just some morning thoughts, Bill, I think it's fine to complain about things as long as you check your generational ego once in a while Which you do very often

So complain away I think a lot of old people complaining is Everything was better when you were young like one of people. Oh my god. The 80s were amazing. It was just like you were young, like one of people, oh my God, the eighties were amazing. It was just like, like, were they? It depends on where you were. Like if you were young living in the suburbs and you were away from the crack epidemic and you were away from, you know, the president at the time deregulating everything and basically handing the keys over to this

greed that we have now. Not saying he's fully responsible, but like it really set in motion this elimination of the middle class and not respecting unions and shit like that. But there was also, you know, oh, here's one that fucking took out a lot of people where I was, was cocaine. Cocaine the big lie and all of that shit. But then there was, you know, every time there's good stuff and there, there is bad stuff. But yeah, well, there's what I would say to you, considering you're saying it's okay for me to complain away.

Don't listen to these fucking people from my generation That say, you know, nobody complained when we were growing up, you know, parents like I'll give you something to complain about They did and we still complained We pitched all the time just as much as you guys do or whatever, you know, believe me If if all of this technology existed we would have been walking around staring at our fucking phones too Um, all right right song I hate Here we go song I hate What's this print top of the morning Billy? Oh, so this is something I was saying like if there is there like a

Like a song out there that everybody loves and for the life of you you can't figure out Why people love it, but so many people love it, you know it's gotta be you. Right? For me, it was Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm just not into that song. I fucking hate that song. I love that band.

I fucking hate that song. All right, but that could just be one of those things like I love Led Zeppelin, but if stairway that heaven comes on, I turn it off. It might be it's just been overplayed. I don't know what, but people lose it's stairway that heaven comes on. I turn it off. It might be it's just been overplayed. I don't know what people lose. They're fucking mine when that song comes on. So that started this topic.

So song I hate. Top of the morning to you, Billy, I 100% agree on your take on Bohemian rhapsody. The song, the song that does my head in is Mr. Brightside by the killers. I'm not familiar with, I wish I listened to the killers more because I downloaded one of their albums and I love the music and I think the guy, the lead singer's fucking voice is incredible. So this must be a huge hit. For some reason, it's a bit of an anthem here in the UK and People lose their minds when it comes on

It came out around maybe that's something it has to do with people like you and you're like me Something about just saying a large group of people enjoy something makes you fucking just automatically. Maybe you're contrarian You're like yeah, I fucked this Mr. Bright side song It came out around the same time Maybe you're contrarian. You're like, yeah, fuck this, Mr. Bright's side song. It came out around the same time I started at university and every time that fucking guitar riff starts, every cut in their uncle, that's just a funny expression. Every cut in their uncle would go crazy for it. And I never understood why.

20 years on and the reaction is still the same. People go insane for one of the most average songs ever. Jog on. Hope the family are well and go fuck yourself. No, there's a lot of songs like... What was that song? When I was really feeling old, and I don't even know who wrote this song. This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. Like women just fucking lost their shit when that song came on. I don't even think that's a bad song, but that was like one of those ones where I was just

like, wow, this is just connecting with young people in a way that I am not feeling I am like that was the first time I was like wow I am fucking old because I you know I lied to myself going like I'm not gonna be one of these old people that doesn't know about young people music I don't understand why people just listen to fucking so you know you know I actually said that and this is the latest playlist I made for when I'm at the gym. All right. Um, I want a rock twisted sister, wanted dead or alive, bond jovy. Don't tell me you love me night ranger. Sister Christian night ranger. Shake me Cinderella. Somebody save me Cinderella. Shake me Cinderella somebody save me Cinderella I'm telling you guys I'm not gonna be one of these people man that just grows up and just keeps listening to the shit that he lists Two in high school and happening to me man, you know what it happens and it's fucking great

Anyway plowing your head. There's another one here. Hey, did song, Billy Joel, high bill, longtime fan, thanks for the laugh. Billy Joel, who by the way, you got to see that guy live. I saw him as so far as stadium. I know I've said this, but just in case people missed the podcast, was Stephenix opening up, I mean, Stephenix was, was enough.

She's so fucking, she was fucking amazing. And then he came out and just like, the way he just was so relaxed, it would front up with all of those people, man. Like it was, it was, as a performer watching him, he was amazing. So anyway, and now that I've complimented him, now he's gonna get some shit from a listener.

All right, Billy Joel is obviously an extremely popular artist. Some of his stuff is good, some of it is just okay, but a few songs are absolute dumpster fire garbage. The worst offender in my opinion is Uptown Girl. Oh, okay. I would have gone with Weed and Start the Fire because that just sounds like a baby boomer not take a responsibility like what about this what about that? Uh, that song is an ear-raping piece of drivel that needs to be locked away in musicals

sol- solitary confinement and never see the light of day again. I think some of these guys like Billy Joel gets it a lot because the guys all over the fucking radio. So I never understood why Joel sings this song in a nasally affected accent that isn't present on any of his other songs. Does he? Oh, hello, uptown girl. I guess yeah, he, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,

hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello He sounds like he gave a blowjob to a can of helium and is singing while holding his nose, Jesus.

Whenever I'm in a room full of people and this song comes on, I want to leave immediately. In all fairness, I hate this song because I worked at the Trader Joe's in Coolidge Corner Brookline one summer. I'm a BU grad and this song was in constant rotation. Yeah, I think it's like a job you didn't like and that song reminds you of it. Tell me, Bill, am I crazy? Is this not a terrible piece of audio crap? I will tell you this, I didn't get that song

when I first heard it. Because he's talking about how, you know, he's in love with this check that's way classier than him and he was sort of painting himself as a bad boy. And I was looking at it going like, what is your nice little Jewish kid that plays piano? Like, you're not in a gang. What's going on? Right? I didn't understand that song until years later when his drinking got out of control.

He started driving his car through the front of people's fucking houses. And then I was like, oh, there it is. He was trying, I think this was Billy trying to let people know that the drinking was getting a little out of control. And this chicks way out of her league. Maybe he was trying to warn her. I don't know what, but that's someone I first heard it. I was like, you are an uptown guy.

You're at least midtown. You don't come off as a nice guy. Thoughtful. Interest, introspective. Whatever that fucking word is. I didn't get it. I think that song, my interpretation of that song was, maybe this is when Billy's drinking was

starting to lose control of it, maybe, or maybe he was just sitting there going like, I am just some little fellow playing a piano. What is this nine foot gorgeous woman doing with me? Maybe I don't know what it was. The self-loading that makes him a great artist, maybe that that's what's coming. Maybe I don't know what it was. The self-loading that makes him a great artist, maybe that that's what's coming out. I don't know, but I will tell you this. I do not want to listen to a bunch of people in Trader Joe's singing that song. I can definitely bond with you on that one. Should I throw another log in the fire and think of another fucking song

and think of another fucking song that drives me up the wall. Well, I've already talked about all that meatloaf shit. You know something, there was a couple of bands out there, where they really could have been like a completely different band, but for whatever reason, like they lead singer had too much musical theater in them, you know, oh, I'll give you one. I'm not throwing anybody under the bus, but like I remember when David Lee Roth went solo and he gradually became almost like this lounge act. And I was like, what the fuck is he doing? If you really go back and listen to all of Van Halen when he was in it, it was always there, but it was this integral part that actually kind of made the rest, it balanced out the

band, but it on it, on its own. It just wasn't something that I was necessarily into. I still love him. And he's still one of my favorite frontmen of all time. But like when he was just to jiggle, and everywhere else, like, what the fuck is he doing this? Like this guy was the frontman, the best fucking rock band. Like why is he doing this? Like this guy was the front man, the best fucking rock band. Like why is he doing this shit?

And then all of a sudden you go back to listen to Van Halen, one that little breakdown. Bob, Bob, Shubi, Dubu, uh, or those silly little songs, Bombadita, Bombadita, Big Bad Bill is sweet. William, now he always had that sort of like element. And it's just amazing when that got extracted out of Van Haillin and it was just it was sort of like ramped up how different his whole vibe became. I don't I got to give you I got to give what's what's a fucking this is like back in the day when you were going to a record store. And like the whole week, you would be thinking of all of these fucking albums you wanted to buy.

And then you'd walk into the record store after working, you know, you're 40, 45 hours a week and you would just draw a blank like, what the fuck did I want to buy? I also think that was the genius of ACDC's name. The genius of naming your band a letter A is that you were at the you were at the the first fucking the albums was right there. ACDC, Aerosmith, Abba, all huge pants. And I think the worst, what do you think is worse? Name in your band, you know, I don't know, white snake still did all right. The X, Y and Z are tough. Those are always really skinny bins, um, or like lost in like the shuffle M's and I still think they did all right

I don't know what what is a fucking I'm gonna give you guys one god damn it I'm gonna sit here and think of something what is a fucking song that comes Oh Jesus oh I can't do this I can't do this because Neal will get mad at me, but she has someone that she listens to. And I, for the life of me, I just don't get it. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this because you know what's gonna happen to me? I'm gonna run into one of these people

and then it's gonna be fucking super awkward. I don't wanna do that. But oh my God. It's like, I just, I don't fucking. I'm talking like fans crying when they watch this person on stage. And I'm just sitting there going like, what in the fuck?

Am I watching? But they're all younger. So maybe that's what it is. I don't know what. This is a dangerous game. You know, maybe I should stop playing this because I'm gonna end up fucking running into somebody and then it's just gonna be a bad thing. I thought you liked my music. I heard what you said on the podcast, you know, um, all right, here's one for you. Who you on the fence with? What's a band where you're kind of like, you know, you're not an album guy, you're just like, this singles. You don't Billy Joel, but Billy Joel's written so many fucking hits. Like, I don't think he could miss with one of his albums, right? I don't, Billy Joel. But Billy Joel's written so many fucking hits.

Like, I don't think he could miss with one of his albums, right? I don't fucking know. All right, listen, I got enough problems. I got truck drivers rear-ended me. I don't need this shit, all right? Whatever, you guys want to keep going with this. I got to pick something else. All right, and with that, that's the podcast for this week.

Next time I talk to you, I will be in the other side of the world. Thank you to everybody in Abu Dhabi that got tickets. I hope I don't fucking piss you off. Thank you everybody else, Prague, Stockholm, Berlin, Budapest. Last time I was there, I was just like, I should have made a special here. These fucking people are amazing. So I'm really looking forward to all of that. And I'm going over there with Bianca Cristóbal and Nate Craig. It's going to be fucking awesome. Why are you

why it's just going to be a killer show? So if you're over there, I hope you got your tickets because it's going to be a great show. All right, that's it. I'll talk to you later.