Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 12-29-23

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

Bill rambles about hitting the scale, sex with robots, and orange slices with your coffee. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast  (33:35) - Thursday Throwback 12-28-23 - Bill rambles about lumberjacks, Alan Jazeera, and liking the odds.  (01:34:34) - Anything Better NFL Preview & Picks

Give the gift of a new ride this yuletide a Bobcat compact tractor makes the perfect gift for the holidays Get a free loader or 0% financing for 84 months through December 31st Jingle all the way to Bobcat of Toronto and Brampton today Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning Podcasts and ah just check it On you before Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking it on you. Just checking it on you. What's going on? How are you enjoying the bowl season?

I was at the gym today and I saw a little bit of the Fenway Bowl, BC Eagles against this SMU Mustangs. I don't even know that they had a fucking bowl game there. I am so out of it when it comes to sports with the kids. I just, I don't have the fucking time to watch it anymore. And I used to be so much a part of my identity that you know, if you brought up sports, I could talk about it intelligently.

And I can't do it anymore. I don't know what's going on. I can't remember people's fucking names anymore. You know, I gotta go back to collecting football cards. No, you gotta play fantasy. Fantasy, you gotta go over to somebody's house and sit in the living room and do all that. I just, I can't do that. I refuse.

That's where I draw the line. There's a freckled content. And yes, I was at the gym. And yes, I am crushing it. And yes, I'm looking good, man. I am not Billy Fat Tits anymore. Okay. I still got my little fucking baby bump, you know?

But I'm fucking eating my way out of it. I'm eating healthy. And I'm eating often. I'm keeping that fucking thing birding And I'm ignoring everything that I see on Instagram. I Love these new things that they say it's like you're doing this stretch and your knees have never felt better It's like what do you mean? I'm doing this. What why are you fucking talking about this like? Like I already did it. You're eating this meal and it's the greatest meal

you've ever had. Like somebody started doing that, and then every cunt on there does it. This doesn't make sense to me. Why do I stay on this, well, because I'm in this business, I have to be, I have to know what's going on, right? Anyway, yeah, so I've been,

I don't know how many pounds I dropped, I fucking kind of blew off the scale because I didn't like what it was telling me. You know what I mean? Like when you're fucking up in life and your best friend is telling you, hey man, can we talk and you're like, dude, whatever man, you fucking changed.

You know, and you just avoid him because you don't wanna hear it. You don't wanna hear the truth don't want to hear it. You don't want to hear the truth that he has to tell you. That's my relationship with my scale right now. I'm like whatever. The things are dick Fuck that scale. I just don't want to get on it and I don't want the second number to be eight. I need it to be a seven and I just refused to get on it and I don't want the second number to be eight. I need it to be a

Seven and I just refused to get on that thing until I can get into that fucking green button-down shirt that my wife bought me three fucking years ago It still doesn't fit Someone actually told me the day. Maybe it's time to throw it out. It's like no, it isn't this is it's never time to throw it out And it's like no, it isn't this is it's never time to throw it out It's time to step it up. I throw it out. I quit I Used to be able to fit into that shirt I Used to and I still do Mitch had burg Rest is soul. Yeah, no, I'm not throwing it. That's the fucking trophy. Right now, if I was to compare myself to a football team, as far as my trying to lose,

my fucking Cunt Belly, I would have to say, without a doubt, I am the Buffalo Bills. Okay? And my belly is the Kansas City Chiefs, and I just can't get past those cuts, you know Everybody believed in me when I joined the gym just like we all believed in the Buffalo bills at the beginning of the season And then I just fuck it went off the rails and became a fat cunt again, but I've done great During the playoffs just like the bills just like the bills. Oh bill Oh Buffalo Bill trying to lose his conbelli. A little serendipity for you there.

But now I actually, I'm like the Cleveland Browns that year when Baker Mayfield was there and they won a fucking playoff game. That's where I am with my belly right now. If you're gonna compare me to two franchises, yes, the Buffalo Bills and the Cleveland Browns. In other words, you don't want to see me with my shirt off. I just have a little ways to go. I just have to fucking, you know, I have to keep making the right decisions. By the way, I can't believe I bummed out.

I am Russell Wilson gets benched. Dude, I'm so far. I fucking love that guy. He threw the best goddamn deep ball in the league. Nobody could throw it over and outstretched defenders hands. What do you call it? Drop it in and bucket. Drop it down the bucket or whatever.

And we're just dropping, you know, like, like one of those fucking back in and bucket. Drop it in down the bucket or whatever. We just drop in, you know? Like one of those fucking back in the day when they see the Storks delivering the baby. We just drop in, like, I would look at the thing and be like, if I could run that fast, I could fucking catch that thing. We just come drop it in, just soft, like a little pillow. He tore it 60 yards and you could catch it like a

fucking throw pillow and go into the goddamn end zone. It was fucking phenomenal. Then he goes to Denver and just immediately stinks and admittedly you know as much as he's my guy. I gotta say he did seem a little checked out but I then went back to Seattle. He was never like this really big emotional guy. So anyway, Sean Payton comes in, they get themselves a fucking a-list coach. They have a rough start, they start turning it around and then I don't know what the fuck happened. They had a nice little win streak there, what, four out of six? I don't fucking know. And then they lose to the, Jesus Christ, how far the Patriots fell,

where losing to the pats is the final fucking straw. And now they're benching him and they're gonna dress him and make him stand on the fucking sideline. I think that that's some petty shit. And they're also setting that guy up for needless getting heckled on the fucking sideline. And I know some football fans will disagree with that, say that comes with the territory. But it's gonna go beyond, you know, the Broncos aren't playing well. Like people are gonna take out their own broken dreams

and their own fucked up personal lives on Russell standing on the sideline. If you're not gonna play the guy, there's no fucking reason. If you're gonna move on from the guy, then I would just like, you know, he doesn't have to come the next fucking two weeks. But part of me thinks that maybe it's because

they gave him $150 million or whatever and he hasn't performed and they know that there's no way they're going to be able to get rid of him without taking a giant loss, which is where the New England Patriots come in. I think Russell Wilson and Bill Belichick could be a great combination. I do. I mean, I think Russell Wilson and Bill Belichick could be a great combination. I do. I mean, if we got some fucking people to throw to, I still believe in that guy, and I don't know what happened. The only thing I can compare to going from Seattle to Denver is the Aspen Comedy Festival

back in the day, and you'd go up there, and the air air would be thin and you'd get out of breath doing your act, but I've never gotten out of breath doing my act in Denver in Aspen I did, but I was also not playing football. I was telling jokes. I'm fucking with you guys. I know it wasn't the altitude. It just sucks. I like that coach and I like that quarterback and I don't like fucking county sports fans that enjoy watching superstars go through shit or you know the end of their career when they tape tape are off like the joy that some people get out of that like on the internet is you know I think that's a reflection of the person right in the shit. Which is what I've been saying.

Not that, I've been saying that if I was running this country, I would get rid of 24 hour news networks and you would no longer have the ability to comment on anything on the internet. All of that would be gone. Okay, Twitter done. on the internet. All of that would be gone. Okay? Twitter done. Twitter is just one county comment

after another that causes arguments and divides people. Alright? And then Instagram, you just watch the videos. Isn't that enough? You have to write your little fucking bullshit thing down there, or you got to go out and troll people and just try and piss them off. It's bad. It's fucking...it's bad. That's bad. It's bad. I think it's bad for the country.

That would be my platform. And then when I went up against Trump, I would be like, dude, we don't need to make it great again. It is great. This is a great country, despite the fact that this piece is a shit like you in it. that this piece is a shit like you in it. You know, and then I'd be like, hey, Joe, Joe, Joe over here. Yeah, this is the debate. You're losing. I'd love to trash you, but you have dimension. You wouldn't remember it.

Anyway, so I flew the other day, had a nice flight the day after fucking Christmas and a great time Maybe I talked about that on the podcast. Maybe that's why I feel like I don't have a lot to discuss this week Doing fucking back-to-back. No every other I Did want a Tuesday and now I'm doing another one on Thursday. Is this a podcast dynasty? According to modern sports it is Anyway, I uh, I smoked my first cigar. I actually had two. Oh boy. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus, she's off to fucking rails again

When did I smoke it? I smoked it two days ago, right? Yeah, I smoked on Tuesday and today's Thursday and I really fucking enjoyed it. And I was with a really good friend of mine and it's two days later and i have absolutely no craving for it whatsoever however i totally enjoyed both of them i smoked one of them like let's have another one now it's going up but i'm going to go here you go bill here you go again oh billy smacking the fucking arm it's gonna tie off here we go right

uh... It's gonna tie off, here we go, right? So I think I kind of, I've been able to learn how my sort of on the addiction spectrum where I'm on it, how it works. And my deal is I can basically handle shit as long as I take these big breaks from it, then it doesn't get a hold of me. However, if I just don't watch it, then I'm doing it every day. But I don't have that fucking addiction thing where it then destroys my life, you know what I mean?

I just have like this habit I have to break, but then when I walk away from it, after four days, it's like I never did it. I'm like, yeah, fuck, what was I doing? That was stupid, and I'm just done. I don't have to go to meetings and eat donuts and smoke cigarettes and fucking talk to some chick that has a fucking deeper voice than Barry White. I smoked the guys for the last 40 years. I lost everything. I lost my house. I lost my fingers. So anyway, I'm hoping for

an even healthier 2024 now that I got my vices in check for right now we'll see how it goes But I'm fucking hitting the gym Except for my days off. I'm not gonna miss one fucking day and I really did not want to go today And I just was like you're gonna go down there. You're gonna fucking stretch and shit's gonna be fine and I fucking love my gym My gym is like, it's just a really cool mix of, it's like the expendables meets a gym. It's just this mix of fucking every kind of person you could possibly have and like, this is one guy in the gym. He does squats and dress socks.

I saw this Asian guy in there today. He was doing flies wearing a Christmas sweater. I swear to God. And then there was another guy, my favorite guy. He was over with the kettlebells. And I looked at his socks and he had Pablo Escobar's mug shot On his socks and I was like that is fucking fantastic and They played music they played everything from like the cars

To like that new rap shit, you know what's guys? That guy sounds like he's winding the whole fucking... He's almost crying. You know what he sounds like? He sounds like somebody who's lying, who got caught doing some shit, and you know when people pretend like they're emotional, so they just do that with their voice.

I mean, I can't believe you'd say that about me. It's like, why are you talking like that? You're not crying, your eyes are dry. Stop it. You're embarrassing, you're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing yourself. You know what? I think you're better than that. But anyway, this is what's so, how fucked up I am. I drove my truck down there. I knew F-250 and like, there was a part of me that was like legit nervous that when I came out, someone was gonna steal it. Like, that's how I view, like, I look at my truck

like I bought a new Porsche. Hahaha. Hahaha. I fucking love it. It's my fucking favorite thing ever. No, not ever, but you know, it's up there. I'll tell you this, I'll tell you this, it's up there. So I'm putting together, before I go back on the road, like a new 15 minutes that I am very excited about.

I did it last night out at the ice house, which was redone and it's gorgeous and it's just a fucking great room. As it always was in the side room is that they had out there, they made that as nice as a comedy club too. So it's a really fun place to go and work out and also bang out a couple of quick sets, nice drive and all of that shit. I'm a fucking old man now, man.

I like a nice drive. I don't go fast. You know, and I yell at people that pass on the right. Tih! Tih! You know, I gotta run and, I gotta run and fucking joke with Virzy that, that like whenever he calls me an LA, he goes, I'm always like driving.

And at some point, I'm talking to him. And then in the middle of talking, I don't even say hang on a second. I just start cursing out some other driver. And today, I was sending him a voice text. Let me read this fucking thing if it's thing. If it's not too involved here. What the fuck is it? Come on, Bill. It's not there, it's not there.

Oh, there it is. It's not there. Oh there it is. Okay, I said your marketing team needs to handle that. I wouldn't have your agent do do that part. Fuck you Then I had to text them fuck you was to a driver. I Can't even voice text without snapping on one of these LA idiots, right? And was basically, I was coming up the street and this fucking old guy's coming down the street and there's two parked cars. All right, so I'm in my big truck.

He's in a little Mr. McGoop fucking car. So I stop to let him go and he stops and then he looks at me and really aggressively. He's fucking going like this like go go go and I see him talking to his old wife Or his old mistress you never know what these old people if you read up on these fucking old folks homes Like STD's just running wild So what some broaden his fucking car name Ethel he's fucking you, you know, giving me shit for being courteous, courteous. So I showed him the other side of the coin. I might window

up, he didn't hear me. Fuck you. It's probably a fucking Vietnam war vet. Now I feel bad. Only if you saw action. All right, if you were in the back making the bread, I don't give a shit. All right, you fucking worked it subway and Vietnam. Give me a break. Oh, give me a break. Anyway, I have a read I have to do here. Let's see here, where is it?

Where would this be in my smartphone? Why don't I just click on Maps? All right. Here's my new thing for fucking next year. Is I am not going to, I'm gonna get off of this fucking phone. I have to do it, like this is probably the last fucking thing

I need to get onto control. Like, I just, my fucking hand like goes for it, like a lab rat. I'm sitting at dinner with my wife and I'm like going, all right, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna fucking key in on my lovely wife and I'm going to listen to what she has to say.

Oh, what's the record for the longest marriage? Let me Google that. Fucking lunatic. Oh, this is a dynamic read. Which means I don't even know if this is gonna be on this podcast. You know what, I'm not fucking reading it. I'm gonna read it later this is gonna be on this podcast. You know what? I'm not fucking reading it.

I'm gonna read it later. I'm gonna read it later. What do you think about that? How about those Celtics? The Celies came out here, right? They beat the Clippers and then they beat the Lakers. And you know what that means? It doesn't mean shit.

I mean, it's a good thing. It doesn't mean shit. It's the fucking regular season And people are already said there right now. Drew holiday. I think that was the last piece. They need it You play as a major defense and you can get your bucket whenever you need it But doop doop doop doop do it. It's December It was one game That's why every fucking year like the Lakers don't look like whatever team LeBron's on doesn't look like they're gonna do anything and then you're not gonna beat LeBron for out of seven fucking games when he's trying

All right, you could catch him in fucking December Right, I'm not saying the selfless can't beat the Lakers into seven game series all I'm saying I'm not even saying the Lakers will get there. I don't know what I'm saying all I'm saying is you win one fucking game I don't give a fuck in December you want a crown I'm going crown anyway somebody was telling me that the fucking Los Angeles clippers are their owner, that AI robot billionaire guy, right? Or maybe he's banging a robot.

Somebody's banging a robot or somebody's banging a robot at this. You realize that, right? We're going into 2024 and you have to understand that whatever technology they're giving us is probably a decade behind. All right. And I will say that I'm going to go, if I had to go to Vegas, I bet you can bet on this. Has somebody fucked a robot yet without a doubt? And I'm not saying it was fully assembled. You locked these fucking nerds in a goddamn

room long enough with a head with a mouth and one of them is going to stick his fucking math league dick in it. It's just going to. Wait, I did a bit on that a long time because I got to make sure it feels like they got a experiment You know what's gonna be funny about that when those things come out is Everybody on the religious right is gonna be like liberals are gonna be like, you know, I Don't know what they're gonna be. I don't know. I actually I can even predict that. Like what people are gonna be like when those fucking sex robots come out and then it's gonna be like, it's gonna end relationships. I mean, it's gonna be fucking,

oh, if you got some fucking robot that you can bang and then it's like making your sandwiches and shit. Oh, you got if you got some fucking robot That you can bang And then it's like making your sandwiches and shit. I mean there's not gonna be Any woman that's gonna be able to compete with that Never gives you shit never calls you on anything and then women will have the same thing You know go out and custom order a fucking man thing. You know, go out and custom order a fucking man. Height, dick size, stubble. You know, you know what's going to be funny? What's going to be funny is somebody's going to order

a fat one. Someone's going to have a fetish, but generally speaking, I think everybody's gonna have a supermodel in like a Hercules looking fucking guy. And the thing's gonna, you know, you eat a bang it, well, if you're a chicken, bangs you, whatever the fuck you're into, right? And then it's just not gonna disagree with you ever. I don't know. Would you actually miss the arguments? I don't know. I just don't understand why they are making those things. Why are they making those things? All of

this AI shit, why are they making these fucking things? That's like the big question I have. I think that they're gonna make the fuckable ones for us and then the other ones are gonna be for them, the super rich, right? And that's for them and then they're gonna eliminate us. And that's gonna be like, and then what they're gonna eliminate us. And that's gonna be like, and then what they're gonna do is they're gonna be like the royal family.

Just a bunch of fucking, too closely related ugly people fucking in the same like reproducing. So they keep the human race going. And then the rest of the time, they'll just be fucking with these robots. But they going to have to keep like there's a lot of people they're going to have to keep. I mean you'd have to keep human beings to keep the robots in check because you couldn't have a robot mechanic that fixes

other robots because eventually they'll probably start figuring out what's going on. I don't know. I've been in a depression if you can't fucking tell. Like the end of the fucking year, I don't know what happened. I just, why don't happen? I quit everything. I quit coffee in tobacco and sugar and all that. So there was nothing bringing me up. Like, yeah, life!

Am I right? And it really has nothing to do with the super rich and whatever robot they want to fuck it, has to do with my past. I think that that's what it is. And there's nothing you can do about it. So what do you do? What do you do?

You go to the gym, you work out, somebody has a fucking pair of Pablo Escobar socks, you think that's fucking funny and awesome all at the same time who makes those that's fucking i you know it's so weird how some people that murdered a bunch of people

can end up on a t-shirt and then other people like you can't walk around with Hitler socks you know a hitler fanny pack can end up on a t-shirt and then other people like you can't walk around with Hitler sucks you know a Hitler fanny pack which is a shame because there is something inherently so fucking hilarious about eight-off Hitler and the look in his eyes in his face like he's he's a fucking dope. It's kind of like the Charles Manson thing, where like after a while the mythology of somebody,

they become like, and you start, you know, they play that creepy fucking music with them. You know, if you change the music under Adolf, that they usually play, and you made it a little more sillier. I think you could put that guy's intellect into a better place historically. However, people did listen to him.

It really is amazing when you get something somebody really fucking stupid, how many people will listen to them and relate to him. Wait, am I talking about me and my standup? All right, let's get off that subject. Let's get off that subject. What are your goals, guys? Let's try to make 2024 your best life ever as you're speaking your truth and living your fucking vortices with your chi. I'm gonna get Instagram video.

I'm going to get Instagram video. You're sticking to your New Year's resolutions and you're having your best cup of coffee ever. There was something I saw somebody was making an espresso and they had a slice of orange. They sliced this orange and they basically had a slice of orange like look like a fucking super skinny hockey puck cut that way right not a wedge a circle right and they had the coffee go through it and they was saying like this is how they make coffee in Rome and I was going like I've never heard of that and also I learned on this podcast,

we're for a while, your genius fucking host here thought a good breakfast was an orange and an espresso until somebody said, dude, those are both acidic, that's probably not good to do for your stomach every day. So that was my first thing going like, why would you drain an espresso through an acidic piece of fruit? And then I went into the comments and everybody's going, I'm Italian, I've never heard of this. I'm from Italy, this is bullshit. Nobody makes fucking coffee this way.

And somebody goes, I think you mean Romania, I don't think you mean Rome. Romania. I don't think you mean Rome. So I end up telling the lovely near that story. And she goes, well, I think they actually, I think they do do that. Don't they have like a slice of orange or a lemon with the coffee? I was like, well, I didn't drink, I wasn't a coffee drinker when we went to Italy, but I've never seen that before. And then she Google searched it. And she goes, yeah, right here. They do this in Italy and it's just like, I don't know what the fuck to believe. Are those bots pretending to be Italian? Are they trying to get like arguments going on the coffee thing or did what my wife just look up? Is that not fucking real? Which brings me back to the robots.

Right? He's going to go out to a bar, pick up some chick and think that you got lucky, and then the next day you're going to be thinking like, wait, was that an actual human being or was that robot owned by the hotel because they want me to come back and stay here again? So they just had a robot go down and fuck me I mean people these are the questions that you can look forward to trying to find answers to In the coming decade find answers to in the coming decade. Anyway, I have another glorious month off from the road. I am going to start writing a script with the buddy of mine. And I got a lot of time

off here. Very thankful for that. I had another great year out on the road. Performance you guys. Thank you to all you guys who came out to the shows this year. I'm trying to thank just so many great ones. Obviously, Greece, Abu Dhabi. That whole run through Europe was incredible. Prague, all of that stuff, Budapest. And then my favorite show, I think, in the US, was the one that I did in Virginia in that old ABA arena that Dr. J started out with the Virginia squires. It is such an underrated venue, which of course I can't remember the name of it because they all have dumb names now, but they've totally kept the thing up. It's beautiful.

The architecture is beautiful. It's just a fantastic arena. And if you ever get a chance, if you live in like the Carolinas or DC or Tennessee or something and your favorite band is playing there, it is worth going out there to see a show. I mean, it is fucking incredible. And then the best concert I saw this year and one of the best concerts I've ever seen in my life was Queens of the Stone Age at the forum. You know, I saw Queens of the Stone Age and then I saw the Celtics finally beat the fucking clippers. I went to that game. Cause they usually lose that game. Historically, they fucking go out partying

before the clippers and then they try against the Lakers. And I just fucking hate everything about the Lakers to the point I refuse to buy a fucking ticket to go to a Lakers game unless my wife wants to go. Then I go, but I don't want to fucking go, right? So I've always been going to that Clippers game. I saw the Celtics lose that game probably four times.

I remember the big three lost that game. They just, it was the Clippers. They just, it was like the trap game every fucking year and my dumbass would go to it. All right. Well, that's the podcast everybody. Enjoy the last few days of 2023. I hope you all have a great happy, healthy, fulfilling 2024. And now let's push back against corporations this year. Let's start small.

All right. If you're in Reno and they ask you if you want to upgrade to fries, just don't do it. Just let those potatoes go bad. It's time to start pushing back to be like you guys have crossed the line and you're fucking taking too much. I would love to somehow do what the fuck that what that that checked it everybody that you white check loves, whatever her name white Beyonce, what the hell's her name?

Taylor Swift, however she figured out this business, I would love to try to figure out a way that, because I'm always getting these fucking emails from you guys going like, dude, I think you're funny, but I'm not paying $250, $300 to see you. And I always wanna be like, dude, I think you're funny, but I'm not paying $250, $300 to see you. And I always want to be like, dude, that ain't me. That's not like those tickets were like $50. And then these bots go on and they put it.

The whole fucking thing is so fucking corrupt. And the people that run the venues are actually scalping their own fucking tickets. And they're fucking, you know, they charge you a dollar service charge to resell your fucking tickets. And it's just, the level of fucking greed is just completely out of control. So I would love to figure it out. I just don't get why you're doing a show and you're like, this is what the ticket price is.

Like why so many people can't just pay that price. It's just, it's another way to fuck fans and then fuck the person doing the show, a play in the game, one or the other. So that's a different podcast and I don't know anything about it. I gotta try to figure it out though. All right, that's it, everybody.

I will have a great weekend, your cons and I will talk to you on Monday and enjoy the bonus episode of a Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast from Monday, December 28th. time for the Monday morning podcast from Monday to December 28th, 2015, the final Monday, Monday, Monday, 2015. All right, what are you going to do with it? Huh? You're going to take advantage of it. You're going to get out there and fucking hell.

I just saw this really douchey commercial. I'm recording this Sunday, well, I'm watching the end of the Seattle game and watching the Packers get their fucking asses kicked by God knows. I just saw this commercial right there's this lady. She's in her car right? Cuties of button driving along and she's in this city and she's like there's over 2 million four is 60,000 370 people in this city and she's like, there's over 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, I've never seen hype over absolutely nothing. What do you mean you like those odds? Is there a way to improve those odds? Are you going to drive up on the sidewalk and try to lower the fucking numbers? Yeah, I don't feel like fucking taking out anybody today.

I guess I can live with that. Is this like the result of like sports, like athletes and rappers and stuff, shit talking? It's become such a part of the culture that you got to say something dumb like that. Like back in the day and move to the city and you'd be like, oh Jesus Christ look at all these people. I pull my head down and I give it the old college try and hopefully things work out for me and I can get my own little piece of the pie here. Now it's all gonna be a... yeah it's fucking 3 million people here and just me. Yeah, yeah, suck my dick, I can handle that. You fucking driving those street in your

Ford Focus. Now fucking you talking about what do you got in the street in your Ford Focus. Now fucking you talking about, what do you got in the truck in your car that gives you that much confidence huh? What do you got? You got some gold buzz huh? Anyways, I'm watching the end of the Seattle game here because I feel like the sea ox are going to come back, you know, whole sneaky peat. Everybody's fucking talking about this guy,

they're talking about that guy slowly, but surely Seattle is clawing their way back into it. Hopefully they'll be on the road so we don't have to listen to how loud they are again. Look at our sea adults, such a loud stadium. Look how loud they are. You just wait about Seattle, you don't see one lumberjack in the fucking crowd, you know,

with all the logging that goes on up there. It's a bunch of coffee, drinking, cuts, wearing a little curtain with the Kurt Cobain fucking goatee. You'd think every once in a while, you'd find somebody actually wearing a flannel because they're a lumberjack not because they're into pearl jam. That's all I'm saying. Was Eddie, did Eddie Vetta, did he use to cut down trees? How about Kurt Cobain? Did they used to do that stuff? Is that what they did? Is that why they dressed like that? Or were they mocking, were they dressing like lumberjacks in an ironic way and a foreshadowing of the hipster movement that took hold somewhere in the mid-2000s.

Or maybe they were just cold, you know, it's always raining out there, and they have to sing. Maybe they wanted to protect their instrument. I don't fucking know. I saw God jogging down the street today in jeans and like these sneakers that were mocking running sneakers and then he had a t-shirt on in this weird sort of tank top and the exact same haircut of people I used to see have in like 1975.

You know, it was just like, you try and really fucking hard. I don't understand. I don't understand just your whole fucking wardrobe and your look is mocking another decade. Is that what I do? I don't fucking, I don't know. I don't pretend to know. Anyways, let's talk a little sports here.

As much as people can't fucking stand, a lot of people can't stand. I don't give a shit. You know why I don't give a shit? I don't have any advertising this week, okay? That's what it's come down to. You know, me being a smart Alec, and all of these fucking ads, right?

And then you guys, egg and me on. Oh yeah, I'm blaming you. You guys, egg and me on, you know, I can't walk away from a fucking easy laugh. Now look at me. I'm ending the year empty handed. 60 minutes of podcasting and no advertising. It only just won me. I like those odds. I'm fucking douche. Oh, good Lord. I'd rather eat glass and fucking have to want that whole fucking yolo You know how we do

Damn it everything is so fucking important me and my bros Oh, don't I just sound like an angry old man. I'm not actually I'm actually got my feet up I'm drinking a milla I'm having a good time There's a snow globe within reach, I mean, I don't have a lot to complain about. You know, we're all extinct, I think that's gonna be the big thing that aliens will look at one day, you know?

But they'll find, they'll on earth, there's snow globes, and they'll try to figure out what the fuck they meant. You know, they probably think it was some sort of power source. They hovered their hands over it and they somehow could. Anyways, let's talk about the, let's talk about a little bit of football here. So, um, I got, you know, word, I didn't know the fuck I found out about it.

That Peyton Manning was accused by all people, Al Jazeera. And God knows if you want to know about the National Football League, I don't know about you guys, but I go to Al Jazeera.com. You know, I sift through all the Muhammad stories and the fucking what the US government's really doing and I get to their sports page and I yeah, then I try to see what's going on in NFL football. So according to this this LG Zero, you know, LG Zero USA. All right, the offshoot. You know, Al Jazeera USA. All right, the offshoot. You know, kind of like those SUNY fucking colleges,

SUNY Del High, SUNY Syracuse, whatever, you know, those fucking, you know, those colleges that have like more chains in like McDonald's. All right, you know what I'm talking about. So anyways, they did some sort of the US version. Did some sort of investigative reporting and allegedly found out that, you know, paid manning and among others had been using HGH and blah, blah, blah, blah. Now do I believe it? I don't give a, I don't even give a shit personally. But what was bugging me was the unbelievable lack of coverage.

You know, as a Patriots fan, watching my team get accused of every fucking thing under the sun and every fucking accusation being taken as the absolute fucking truth, right? Right through fucking baseball season. You know, other owners hiring people to investigate us and guess what the fucking study that the losing fucking owner paid for came up with. Right? Not a fucking word.

Not a fucking word about it. Fucking hilarious. This saying that Peyton's wife is a pharmacist. I mean, there's enough circumstantial evidence here to get Tom Brady fucking a six game suspension. I didn't gonna happen. You know why? Because it's not the Patriots. It's not the Patriots and also it's Al Jazeera. So I think at some point the whole support the troops, you know, we're trying to give him freedom somehow that kicks in, I think to it. But, you know, I just look at personally, I don't think he did it. All right. However, if he did, I don't give a shit. And I don't, it doesn't change any of his fucking numbers to me.

The guy was on the ropes, you know. His fucking neck was dislocated from the rest of his body. You know, he could spin it around like an owl. I mean, you can't play football like that. So he goes overseas or whatever the fuck he did, right? He goes over to the Kobe Center. They stick his fucking liver in a center fuge. Whatever the fuck it is that they do over there. You know? They spin your blood around and they stick it back in you and then you're like a vampire.

You just sit up in the coffin and next thing you know you're taking someone to the rack. I don't have a problem with that. I love that athletes do that shit. I'm not saying Peyton did obviously. I don't think he did. Oh Jesus, another fucking cardinal's got a goddamn safety if they don't take this away, they're gonna take this away? We got a penalty on the defense, personal foul, tampling the quarterback too hard, he got to buy his ankles, that's illegal, you can't touch him in the head, you can't touch him in the ankle. Be careful around his waist.

If you could just sort of pick him up and lay him down like a toddler that fell asleep on yourself And you're just gonna tuck him in. We won't have to throw all these damn flags Anyways, I Don't think he did the shit, but if he did, I'd be excited. I'd be happy that he did it. You know why? Because eventually, whatever those fucking doctors learned, allegedly, what a shoot net shitting to fucking grandpa's neck there, eventually that's going to help me out someday

when I'm old. Err, it's funny funny I'm older than him but his body his body's like fucking you know 20 years older than me right although he does have a nice head of hair. I'm just saying everything that these athletes have taken especially the illegal shit that's all gonna help us in the future who knows maybe something that they're trying to take to get their ball and socket joint back into place. Still suddenly find that that that a side effect is it grows a nice lion's mane worth a hair, right? And then why I'm going to be lying in right up for it. That's what happened with Viagra. They would they would, you know, I don't

remember what the fuck it was supposed to do. It was supposed to do something else. And all of a sudden the guy's like, yeah, you know, my left hand is still twitching, but God damn it, my dick is standing up. And then they were probably sitting in the booth, well, stop thinking about sexual things. We're trying to do an experiment here. And he's like, no, you don't understand. I'm not thinking about anything.

And my dick has not stood up in years. And then they all went, wait a minute, wait a minute. And they told the guy to just sit down, right? And then all the scientists got together and they were just going like, wait a second, wait a second, we just, it didn't fix his left hand twitching, but it made his dick stand up now. Now just hear me out. This might be a little gross, but I

have a sneaking suspicion that there's a lot of guys over the age of 70 that if they still could, would whip their dick out and fuck something. Now I think that this is a very large, untapped market of old guys with flaccid cocks that we could bring back to life. Get them back out there, you know, fucking some prostitutes. And getting them into, they've been thinking clear for the first time in their life since they hit puberty.

Let's get them back into trouble again. What do you say? I want to see an 80 year old get a sexual harassment case. Don't you? And XC, you know, you got the blue pills. So who knows? All I'm saying is all you fucking patriots comes out there, haters out there. All right.

Who've been trashing the patriots up and down, lying your asses off. So they stole playbooks and they filmed the last practice and all those lies that were told that were presented as truth until ESPN detracted them at 12.30 in the fucking morning. A bunch of fucking cowards, right? I want you guys to, I want you to treat this circumstantial evidence on old Long-Nec Magu, the same fucking way you did on the dimpled wonder there in New England. I want you guys to fucking talk about it, okay? I want you to talk about how they've gotten away with murder. I want you to trace it back to Jim Ursay, and I want to see this be a big fucking scandal that goes right through baseball

season, all right? Can you guys do it? Come on? I think you got it in you I mean if you can take fucking air pressure for fucking eight months. I know you can take HGH and his wife so Come on. It's right there all the circumstantial evidence you need Would you read this out your zero? That's game set matching in a Buffalo Wild Winks. Anyways, I love it. I love it. It's nice to see somebody else get falsely accused. They don't have a fucking goddamn, whatever the fuck is on the side of our helmet. God damn it, those are ugly uniforms.

I've hated those things since day one. I don't understand why this quarterback is wearing Neil Lomax's old number. Or is he wearing number five? I have no idea Oh, by the way the Patriots lost to the jets we lost to the jets and Congratulations to the jet fans out there. I know you're all excited You know You're all excited you like oh my god. We fucking beat him a winds away And I know that they're really injured and stuff and I know blah blah blah blah oh my god can

you believe that that guy fucked up the coin toss he won the coin toss and then he said he was gonna kick off a blah blah and this is how dumb jet fans are they actually think that that wasn't a calculated move by the genius Bill Belichick. Everybody thinks that's a big fuck up. Everyone thinks that guy's gonna get yelled at by Bill Belichick. You ever think that maybe Bill told him to go out and do that?

Say, go out there. All right, is a deal. If they win the coin toss, they're gonna get the ball. All right, if we win the coin toss, you just tell him you're gonna kick it. All right, because here's a deal. We're really injured right now. All right?

Okay, we got nobody left. We're a fucking division two team here at this point. All right, I don't know about you guys, but I would love to play the jets and the playoffs. We all know we can kick their fucking ass, but the problem is, is those green cuts might not make the playoffs. Okay, now we've made it look good here. Okay, we've tied them through the regular season. Let's just make sure they win this one.

Maybe they'll, maybe they'll fucking win nice tackle by the quarterback on a fumble. Very nice. Maybe they'll, you know, maybe we'll get to meet him again in the playoffs. Then we'll be healthy and then we'll kick their fucking ass. It'll be one less thing we got to worry about. Now, I know people in New York City, a big thing in New York City is a regular season win for 90% of your fucking teams, not for the Giants, not for the Yankees, but for the rest of them. It's a big fucking deal. It's a big deal if the next one a regular season game.

It's a big deal if the Brooklyn Nets or the New York Mets or the New York Jets, the New York Rangers, the New York Islanders, the Buffalo Bills, the fucking Sabers, any of those other nine ass fucking teams, if they win anything, it's a big deal. So congratulations. I'm fucking with you man. We totally screwed up, but I think it could actually be a good thing for us. You know, I'd love to play the fucking jets again. I like the odds of us playing the jets again, having lost to them the previous time. That's one last week I got to worry about. Haven't said that. I got to worry about having said that. I think it's, this is not in depth analysis whatsoever, but you got to admit, Seattle, Carolina or fucking Phoenix.

I mean, Phoenix looks like fucking world beaters. I just don't think the AFC has it. I don't think, I always say that I'll be fucking here. We want to last you, you know. But who knows, I don't think we do. All right, enough with that shit. Oh, by the way, you know what, so you know something I don't want to hear about. I don't want to hear about the fucking 72 dolphins drinking their fucking champagne again.

You know, I'd love to see a picture of that. All those five foot nine defensive linemen. That's stupid ass team. I'm so sick hearing about those fucking guys. You know, enough already with the celebrated. You had those constant have to deal with any sort of pressure what's compared to nowadays. Going undefeated. I got to be honest with you, I don't even think the Panthers really had to deal with anything. You know, no one gave a fuck. It's Carolina. It only matters if it's in Boston or New York. It's the only place pressure matters. There's no pressure

anywhere else in the fucking, everything plays out. You fucking live and it's just apple pies sitting on a windowsill. You know, telling you guys you're soft. Fucking with you. Um, I would love Tony Rome was reaction to that after all the fucking shitties taking a Dallas. Uh, it's bad enough you got to get yelled at by people who can't fucking even play the game at a high school level. You got to look at people who got Botox shot into their face wearing a cowboy hat, questioning your abilities under center. I mean, I just don't understand it. It's got to be brutal as hell. But anyways, getting back to the 72 dolphins, those fucking cunts.

Back in the day, like, I told you, sports was the last five minutes of the local news. That's it. That was it. There was no big fucking story. You know, you don't people watch sports back then were sports fans. That was it. Half the halftime show at the Super Bowl would be like some local college band. And then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then They played the Super Bowl during the day. It was like light out on the fucking east coast. They played it outside.

Okay, sorry. Anyways, I really don't want to hear about that. Just being honest, I'm not trying to be a cunt. I'm just saying. By the way, I mentioned this, as I mentioned, I'm watching this to be a cunt. I'm just saying. By the way, I'm watching this, as I mentioned, I'm watching this Arizona Green Bay game. Is anybody else hearing that fucking lady every time the Packers have the balls screaming or that little kid? Every time, every time there's a play, you just hear spurs going. It's been driving me nuts.

All right, I'm just switched over 23-10. St. Louis over Seattle. Seattle's got the ball and they're driving. Oh, this is perfect. It's down by two scores. Two touchdowns. They're going to win 24-23. This three minutes left, we'll see what happens. We will see what happens. You know what's funny, you guys already know what happens. Why am I saying this like, it's an amazing thing.

All right, so here's something for you. This weekend, right? I drove out to visit some family, right? Some family. And the fucking, you know, we leave it like 11 in the morning because my wife likes to sleep, you know. And one thing I've learned, I want to think, you know, when I was a kid, like, in my house, if someone was sleeping and you had something to say to them, you just started talking

to them, which was so fucking annoying. And I just fucking, you know, I just don't do that to people, you know what I mean? I tried to correct a few of the fucked up things that happened to me. So my wife sleep and I'm just saying, oh my God, this trafic can be horrific, which it was, of course, it was absolutely horrific. And we ended up, we get on the highway with driving with driving. This is this fucking ridiculous traffic and then my wife of course has to pee All right, which is one of the things that happens when you travel with the woman Okay, they're gonna be putting makeup on the car They're gonna make you a fucking an hour late at least and at some point they're gonna have to pee So she's trying to hold it and she fine just goes, I can't hold it, I got to go. So

I pull off the first fucking exit and the first fucking exit I pull into, it was like a circle K in the McDonald's. So I go for the McDonald's and it turns out the McDonald's is part of this fucking one of the week. Well, it's an outlet mall. And this is the day after Christmas. And I would think the day after Christmas, there'd be nobody at a fucking mall. Right? You got all your gifts. It's fucking over, right? Stay home and joy the day off. Dude, I get

there. It's fucking mopped. You can't even get in. Like my wife had to get out in traffic because you couldn't hold him or to run into the fucking McDonald's. And then I'm stuck in this traffic jam of fucking animals. A bunch of fucking animals. They're all walking, first of all, they're not walking on the sidewalk. They're walking out where the cars are driving, looking for parking spots.

And of course, they're walking three, four abreast. That's what it got. But the population problem, shouldn't you at least be able to just clip the last one? Just fucking run them over. A bunch of fucking animals animals. Just walking around coming out with more bags of shit It's like didn't you just get a bunch of shit? So Of course my wife goes in there, you know, she's gonna use the ladies room and there's always a fucking line

I don't know what they do in there But you know whatever whatever a guy does if a woman's doing it, you got to add like another 60% time. All right, but takes you a minute, it's going to take her a minute and 40, right? You get involved with something that's going to take you 10 minutes, you know, it's you see what happens. It's going to take up 16 minutes and so on and that's on a good fucking day. That's on a good fucking day. So she goes in there, of course, it's like fucking 9 million.

Oh, that's a fumble. That's a fumble. Right there. It's knee wasn't on the ground. The ball came back right there. Right to a fumble. Game over. The ramps. Are they gonna beat him twice in one season? Same old ramps?

What have we got here? They go into the video both. P-Carol is upset. The ramps are doing little dances like they've done something in the last fucking 15 years. What are they so excited about? Oh, they got the ball I was just gonna say how to fuck is it raining in In St. Louis they got a dome Then I realized the home team I'll never get used to that the home team not wearing white Ah, that's funny with this guy. This guy's yelling at the somebody in the crowd. I don't care. I don't give a fuck, man. I don't give a fuck. You know what he's saying? Yeah, we want a Super Bowl. You never won shit. I don't give a fuck. Yes,

you do. Yes you do! That's hilarious. Oh the Rams, why are they, oh the Rams are being idiots right now. They're fucking, they're talking trash to the St. Louis fans. How does that help you? How does that help you give them something to rally around? This is hilarious. Seattle fans are getting the treatment they they fucking deserve.

And they, you know, I guarantee they're going to get fucking offended. Oh my God. Well, at least there are a bunch of lumberjacks in the crowd. So they, you know what? Now that it's raining and they're losing like all the fucking tech geeks are going to go leave and go to a coffee shop. Take out their mittens. You know, those fragile women too that like drink coffee, they got to hold it with both hands, because they're fucking, their appendages are always fucking cold.

Does that mean you call your fingers flanges, tarsals, metal tarsals, flanges, carpals, metacarpals, flanges? Is that what I learned in biology class, way back in the day? For Christ's sake, quit running the fucking ball and try to get a first down your pussy.

Wait, you know from the ball in this area. Not really. Why is it easier in another area? Alright Bill, let it go. You know, this is usually the time I would take a break. I take a break and I would read a little bit of advertising. I never thought I'd say this. I actually miss it. I actually miss reading out loud. Well, why don't I read about Peyton Manning out loud? A little bit of advertising this week. Peyton Manning said he is furious and disgusted at an Al Jazeera report. The second it says Al Jazeera,

this thing just holds no fucking water. That identified the Denver Broncos quarterback. When a fuck does Al Jazeera get off doing a fucking, you know what I mean? Everybody get out of their wheelhouse. It's like when I was on Jimmy Fowler. I was talking about McDonald's. They started making salad. You don't make salads?

What the fuck are you doing? No one's going to McDonald's to get a salad. Nobody goes to Al Jazeera to fucking learn about what's going on in the NFL. Hey, he's fucking idiots. You're great. When I'm at your better homes in garden, to find out what's going on in the fucking hockey. You know, I'm sorry.

I should be a little more open-minded, shouldn't I? Right? Being a Hollywood liberal, Kant that I am. Well, shouldn't I? So my wife has a new vehicle, and it's got all the latest technology on it. And this thing, it has like these sensors. So if you get anywhere near anything, like when you're first starting to get close, it

just goes, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, you get a close, there it goes, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, You get a close-air goes and then when you're in danger of hitting somebody just goes so every time you back out of my fucked up driveway because there's no room and it's shaped like an upside down triangle with a wall start closing. Whenever I'm backing up, the fucking thing, it's going like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, b I was a kid, and I used to watch those action movies, and I used to believe at some point that Stallone or Schwarzenegger could actually die in one of their own movies, you know? You know, in the end when they would be like,

do I clip the red wire or the white wire? You know, and it's counting down. Three, two, well, like that level is stress as I'm just backing out. So what I've learned to do is I've learned to block it out. Like now I just accept that that's what it's going to do. You know, and I was actually thinking this must be like what field goal kickers do. Well, they don't see those fat meat-titted fucks behind the, they just see the, they just see the goalpost, right? I'm just going

to put it right through there and they don't they don't See all those people flapping their arms and screaming and jumping up and down And doing whatever the fuck it is that they they feel like they should be doing you know Well like when you go to take a foul shot. It's the same thing like that's the mental space. I feel like I have to go into just a back A fucking caravan or whatever the fuck we got here. I didn't fucking call it style of vehicle out of the goddamn driveway. Anyways, can you tell I'm Philip Buster in here? You know, I'm trying to get to a half an hour, then I'm going to do the fucking... I'm going to do the reads for the... All by the way, thank you for everybody for watching F is for family.

I just, I got word from somebody who knows one of the guys at the top of Netflix food chain there and they said that F is for family is killing it. So I want to thank you guys for that and we're already starting to think about you know what we can do in season two to take it to a new level. You know, provided they fucking, you know, give us one. We'll see. Oh, who's that? Which barber is that?

Is that Tiki O'Ronde? I don't know. Oh, but you know what? The guy, the guy who I'm fucks. That's the guy who used to be on ESPN. Long time ago, and all of a sudden, he was just gone. He was gone. You know, he was one of the guys

how I got the idea for that pilot I did with the old sunny guys that for some reason they didn't fucking pick up one of those guys that was just there and then they just gone you like what the fuck ever happened in that guy. What ever happened to hang on a second I got I got to turn the light on. It's getting dark here. Hey here's something positive you guys can think about here. Is that as of what? The 22nd or the 21st or whatever? The days are now getting lighter.

Al fucking lighter. I don't even know if you'll broke your toe. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my toe. Every time I Bend it a little bit I get a shot of pain. I can't tell if it's just because I'm fucking old. I Just have old feet now Speaking of old feet. I was in CVS. You know, they got the foot aisle I was trying to find these zip lock bags

because I'm gonna make a bunch of those round fucking ice cubes. I'm sticking them in a zip lock bag and stuffing them in the cooler for the rose bowl. So when we drink scotchet, like seven in the morning, out of glasses, you know, we can have a little round ice cubes. You know what I mean? It's all about the fucking tailgate, right? So this is all I'm thinking about.

So I'm going into CVS. I went to the gym this morning and it was an open. It's how early I got there, but the CVS was open. So I was like, I know, I'm going to go in there and I'm going to get some zip lock bags and I come walking in there and there's two employees. One of them's fucking vacuuming, the other one's stalking the goddamn shelves. So in all I see is a bunch of self checkout things and people checking themselves out and I'm like, I'm not fucking doing this. So I just walk up to the register and stand there and stand there. And then the lady comes by with the vacuum cleaner and the fucking store is open. She goes, Oh, it's just just the self helps are open now.

And I just said, well, I don't do that. And I just said, I just left the shit and walked out. What I should have meant is I don't do that stuff. I need someone to help me at this register right now. And they're just like, well, I can't help you because there's no customer service anymore. And when I was, I left and I just sat there thinking about it going like, you know what?

That's gonna be the future. And the future, there's gonna be nobody work. So you're just gonna walk in like at night when there's nobody there, they're going to stock the shelves and then they're just going to fucking leave. And then during the day, you know, you walk in and then what you have to do is you pick out whatever's there and then you scan it, you bag it yourself and then you leave. And if you go and try and steal anything, there's going to be one of those big robot cop looking things in the corner and it will fucking blow your brains out and it'll be justified because human life won't mean shit at that point

because this not going to be enough food or water left so you know and no one's going to feel bad that you're dead Even your own family at that point. They're like good. Well one less fucking Grumblin stomach in the house, right? That's what I got out of that experience. So then anyways I go up to the fucking gym You know it kills me as a person at my gym and they have a pit bull and they they tie it up to the rail and they go in and they work out and every time I come walking out and I look at that pit bull it looks so fucking sad it's you come walking on it's just looking at you like are you my owner? because I'm not enjoying sitting here feels so fucking bad for the thing

it's unbelievable the contempt I have for humanity. You just give me one fucking, I love dogs. They're the fucking, I don't even mind cats and they're cunts. You know what I mean? But they're not pollutant rivers, right? Cats don't make me fucking scan my own shit and bag it, do they? Although they do shit in the house, but you know that when you get them. That's a great play right do shit in the house, but you know that when you get them. That's a great play right there. You know something, the guy, you know,

the, oh, I was called him Russell Peters. Russell, Rabinowitz there. What the fuck, so quarterback, I don't know any, but Russell Wilson, right? Thank God he turned around, so I could read it on his back. He fucking overthrew somebody. And back in the day, the guy was jumping up, you know, back in in the day safety would have come over and just fucking give the guy a nice fucking head shot

And he pulled up he did hit him. Ah, that is a good thing That is a good thing it hasn't been done for good reason. I mean they just did it because why they don't want to get fucking sued You know You know I heard that Will Smith concussion movie that the NFL made him take a lot of shit out of it. You're probably like, well, what the fuck does NFL have to do with Hollywood? Well, if you follow the family fucking tree of the corporations, I think it's somehow ESPN

is owned by ABC and they own some movie fucking thing and the NFL's on ESPN, they go, hey, can you take out all the shit that implicates us for a look on the other way? And just disney fire just a little bit? Could you do that for us? Or else we'll go to another network and they're like, yeah sure, absolutely, absolutely, touch down Seattle. See that? Now that right there should scare people. As much as those ram fans are fucking waving at the Seattle fans, you know, we're gonna go hold a fucking candlelight village for village. Oh, no, what is the word? A candlelight. It's not village. Do you know how many times I fucking heard that in my life and I've never set it out loud and I don't know how to say it?

Does this mean I'm dumb or it's just like happening to people? Candle light. You know what this is what I do now when I don't know something? I'm going to write type in head. I wrote hand. Head a vigil is what it is, right? Village. had a vigil is what it is right village candle light and it's coming up dinner vigil the fuck is a vigil sounds like the name of a fucking old guy vigil get in

here a vigil a period of keeping awake during the time usually spent asleep, especially to keep watch or pray. That's hilarious. Anytime you like candles at night people call it a vigil. It's like, dude, well, when's your bedtime? Well, all right then, it's not a vigil yet. You got to you got to fucking be here at one in the morning, two in the morning. All depends on what you do. Do you do coke? Would you do coke tonight? All right. Well, you got to be holding that candle still at seven in the morning. All right. What are we doing here? What are we doing here, Bill? We're fucking looking up words because you're a dope. All right. Well, you know, that happens. It happens.

Fucking relax. All right. Time to add 37 minutes and we can read a few here. We can read a few. Jesus, how fucking fucked up is that Terry Bradshaw shingles commercial? He just barge it into people's houses and starts showing them pictures of open source. I have no idea what shingles is, but he said, do you eat chicken? The person was like, yeah, he goes, sit down. They always scare the fuck out of you. But then you look at Terry.

He doesn't have any open source. So, you know, he didn't get vaccinated. So I think he's just complaining that it hurt a lot. Shit. I gotta look up shingles. And you know, they're going to take me to the roof. Shingles, shangles Shingles. Oh my god. You know, to only white people get shingles or do they only care about white people getting shingles.

It's one or the other because all they have to show in some just drawn white guy where it looks just an alien clot is ribcage. Shingles, herpes, zoster. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. The fuck part of the internet am I on? You know, it's fucked up when the first like ten are all medical before you even get to wiki. Wikis usually the first thing like with vigil. They don't give a fuck, right? All right, you gotta go to Wikipedia. Take it to my level. Shingles, also known as Zoster, Herpy Zoster, or Zoster, I don't know, or Zona, is a viral disease characterized by a painful skin rash.

Oh, tough enough, fuck up. Put some talcum powder on it. With blisters involving a limited area, typically the rash occurs on either the left or the right of the body or face in a single stripe. Two to four days before the rash occurs, they may be pain or tingling in the area. Otherwise, there are typically few symptoms. The rash usually heals within two to four weeks. However, some people develop ongoing nerve pain, which may last for months or years.

A condition called posttherapectic neural agi-glutia. In those, with poor immune function, the rash may occur widely. If the rash involves the eye, vision loss may occur. Well, I gotta tell you nothing and that told me to get a vaccine. I'll roll the dice, it gives it shit. It's a great excuse to take three, four weeks off of your life. I'd love to come in, but I got shingles.

And then, you know, they clear up in two weeks and two weeks later, you're like, nah, I still got them. I think I should be good next week. You can just take a month off. The fuck one want to do that. You get to act like a homeless person, but you're inside. I try to think it's probably the best kind of homelessness, right? I'm sorry. All right, let's get to some questions here for the week. All right, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. You know, I never thought I'd like

Miller Light, and they brought back this old school bottle And I keep him nice and cold and I don't know I like a pills. No all right psychos Oh wait a minute what the fuck am I doing this 17 seconds left? Here comes an onsite kick Seattle is down by six points Alcoa present and he kicks the off, and he kicked it out of bounds. Ah, Jesus, the headset's coming off. I love one thing, there's any better when your coach takes the headset off,

it's fucking over. Takes it off with a smile on his face, I should say. All right, here we go. Psycho, hey Bill, you get a lot of emails with very specific situation. Situations, situation. As I used to see in the subpronos. All right, I'm not going to lay out every detail of what I'm dealing with.

But I'd like to get some advice from you. How do you deal with psychos? Do you ignore them? Do you engage and confront them? Very general question, I know. But let's say someone is talking shit and they're just associopaths making shit up. I ignored it, but now the problem is getting bigger. I'm thinking about just blowing the whole thing up and confronting everyone involved. Again, I know I'm not giving you all the details, but the truth is it's just that simple and I don't want to bore your listeners with dramatic details.

Well, dude, the dramatic detail says how I stretch this shit out for an hour. Anyways, he goes, I should mention I do have to see the psychos occasionally, so it's not like an out of sight, out of mind thing. Thanks, love the new show. Oh, thank you. All right, so you know, you're not talking about psychos on the train. Psychos on the train, you just ignore. You know what I mean? Until you can't, they're coming at you, then you got to do the old front kick, little right there Fred, you

always got to go with your feet with fucking psychos. Gotta go with your feet. You don't want any open skin touching a psycho. You don't know what they got, they bite, they scratch, they're fucking horrific. Again, the old right there, Fred, right to the fucking chest like that guy who fucking kicked the guy in his leg broke. Used to come into the octagon with like a fucking, like a spider. The fuck was his name?

He's one of the legends of all time. I'm not disrespecting him right now. I just don't watch enough of that UFC stuff. All I know is if I could steal any move from mixed martial arts, it would be his front kick where a guy knows you, he's in a fight with you, a professional fighter knows he's in a fight with you and just front kick is so goddamn sly. It comes right up and underneath, right between both his arms, right under the person's jaw, right day of red. You're then you're on your back, it's fucking over.

Um, anyways, uh, how do you deal with psychos? All right, are you saying women, are these men? Do you ignore them? Do you engage, confront them? Very general question I know, but let's say someone is talking shit and they're just, they're just a sociopath making shit up. I'm always a fan of walking away. If you can just walk up, they're just psychos, just fucking walk away.

But you got to see him every day. You know what, dude? You need to write back in next week and get me more details. Cause I got to see like, what is your relationship to them? You know, or is what they're saying so embarrassing you don't want to tell me you don't need to tell me what the fuck they're saying are doing You said I do have to see the psychos occasionally you got to see them occasionally Yeah, I know I don't I

Don't know I don't know what to tell you. This is so fucking vague. I Have no idea. I can tell you that if they're in your I Don't know. I'm a big, you know cut in the head off the snake kind of thing And that doesn't mean you got a fucking confront somebody. I mean you just cut them out of your life It's just done You know what I mean? And sometimes that involves the conversation. And sometimes it just involves just creating a new life somewhere else.

Go to a different bar. Get an eSound, young, get another fucking job. Whatever the fuck it is. Just leave. Get out with your fucking life. It gives a fuck. Life's too short. You know what I mean? But you don't need to be getting involved in, you know, screaming and yelling and that reality shows stuff. Oh, no, you didn't bitch and then you fucking slap each other or whatever the fuck happens nowadays. I wouldn't, I wouldn't be involved in it. I mean, I'm just, I don't know what the fuck to tell you to do. You didn't give me enough information. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm failing you here. So right in again next week, and I'll do my best. All right. Okay. No presence. Oh, jeez. Jeez. Dear Bill, love your work. I know you

will judge me and hate me, but hear me out. I've been with my boyfriend for more than a year. We're we are both young women are such such geniuses. You know what I mean? Like she already has me going like, no, I won't judge you. I have me going to fuck you. You're going to say, you know, that they're brilliant. She just fucking right there. That star track shit. That way they put the worm in the guys. How much she use? She's already she's in my brain. All right, we are both young, but from completely different backgrounds. I am a European from a middle-class family while his family is loaded. And their culture is generally very generous. Don't get me wrong. I make my own living and can afford anything I want.

We love each other crazily. I travel all the time and get in presence on a weekly basis. Perfumes. Perfumes. All right, I'm going to say that's a language barrier thing. Colones, you mean shoes, clothes, you name it. I love making my loved ones happy and never expect anything. I pull my wallet out for every single dinner and we always pay half. If we stay in a hotel or travel, you're all ace is so far. Why am I going to judge you or hate you?

Gee, what's going to happen in the second half here? Lately, lately, it was our anniversary. I got him a nice present, but he didn't get, he didn't even give me a flower. Said, I'm so sorry, I'll make it up tomorrow. She goes, I'm so sorry. I'll make it up tomorrow She goes on the kind of person who always says no come on. I don't need anything For Christmas I invited his family and friends cooked an amazing dinner gave every single one of them presents Didn't get a thing What from him to I live far away from where I'm from and he's the only one I have. So I felt like a kid who had been bad the whole year and woke up the next day to a Christmas tree.

He didn't even get you anything. I tried my best to stay positive. At the end of the day, I can go and get myself any stupid stuff I want. It's really not about things. I've never felt so bad about myself and I'm really Am I really so shallow to cry about a stupid president president, but I promise But I promise it would make me so happy to know that he found the time to pass by a shop and get me a lip gloss or whatever

All right, I'm no hippie who doesn't appreciate nice stuff. I constantly give gifts to family members. We are all in a great relation. Okay, you've said this a million times. I would love to hear your opinion about it. I know this makes me sound like a materialistic cut. Not if you went, you made a dinner in bottom all this other stuff. Ah, Jesus Christ.

But I wanted to keep the email minimal. You didn't keep it minimal. And I like how you keep going, hey, I'm just, you know, I'm just, this might be your problem. I know you're going to hate me, but I don't know what you're doing here. I don't want you to think I'm blah, blah, blah, blah. You almost see, I think you need a little more self-esteem, unless this is your own way of getting me to say what you want. Anyway, he said, he saw me sad and asked what was wrong and I couldn't hold it anymore. I said it was Christmas time and I did not get a single gift

from anyone in this world. Try not to sound like I'm blaming him. I said, my parents and brothers or whatever. He said, I should be grateful for what I have, et cetera. I cried and apologized and said, how bad I've made them feel, but you got him something too. But I haven't feeling nothing will change. No, I was little. I would save for months to get my family something. He never experienced anything like that. He has everything you could possibly imagine. I guess presence, our enormous, receiving them, not giving them.

Oh, I don't know, I really wish to get the answers. Am I a dumb shallow person? I don't want to stop giving him presents for the essential occasions, even if he never gives me a thing. Thank you for everything. Happy New Year. If this email is even remotely true, that guy's a fucking sociopath, and you can do way better.

I don't give a fuck how much money he has. If that's remotely true I find it hard to believe that his family came over you cooked him a dinner You got all of them gifts and they didn't get you anything If that is true and he's rich and you're from a lower class I'm starting to think the family doesn't think you're good enough for them They wanted to make a statement and maybe they don't even need to the fact that he didn't get you anything Maybe he's just banging you

Although it's kind of weird to spend The holidays with some chick you just banging. I don't know. Something's something's not right then you're not happy. You're not getting what you want and he doesn't seem like he seemed like he was a counter-boughted. So I would say in 2016 move on to something else. That's what I would say, you know, unless he really just has fuck you money

and then you gotta do what he's gonna do eventually is have a mistress on the side, a man's dress. You know, start fucking the God, yeah, I would get rid of the guy. If what you're saying is even remote, that's such a one-sided fucking story. I find it hard to believe that anybody could be that fucking cold or oblivious. And that's coming from me, who's a fucking dope. But if that is even remotely true, yeah, I would just get out of the relationship.

It's great, you're not married, you don't have any kids? Simple. It's a conversation. You know, nowadays it could be a text message. Dear so-and-so, not feeling it. Take it easy, send. Then you change your number just for that. Yeah, it's over. All right, local sports talk, dear Billy Cosell. I'm listening to some old podcasts and hearing you justifiably bitch about sports talk radio and sports commentating Has has become really comforting. I thought maybe I was becoming a miserable grump in his 30s

But I'm not I live in Houston and like any other city with a sports presence. I'm tired of all Of all of what I call sports drama I'm a little younger than you, but I remember the days when the game was all, was all people talked about, the actual game. Not just the pointless what ifs that consume every program and conversation. Next time you or any of your listeners listen to any of that, follow up each comment

with these questions. Did they say anything? Does this provide any insight beyond that of some jackass at a bar? Is this what my grandfather fought for during the big one? I'm not completely pessimistic, though. I think there are some great analysis out there and people who stay focused. I try and only listen to people who are trying to create a name for themselves through loud

mouth comments and wild claims just to gain attention. I still like listening to people talk about sports and some respect rant inspired. Boy, in some respect, rant inspired me to look for something else. So I found a local podcast called Houston Sports Talk. I think you edited out some words there. I read every word of that sentence and it made those sense to me. But I think you're listening to a new podcast and Houston called Houston Sports Talk. Anyways, plain and simple, it's been a life saver. Thanks for making me feel better about my position on this subject. Love, F is for family. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you got to be, you know, as much as I make fun of ESPN, you got to have some empathy where they're trying to fill up 24 hours a day

And a lot of times they're just simply isn't enough to do it Which is probably one of the main reasons why the Tom Brady fucking thing went right through baseball season There was just no other scandals going on air quotes scandals So that's what they do. I just I can't sit there and watch like right now the the game is over and I'm watching some guy Dan Quinn You know giving out game balls and people clapping in all different states of dress like what why do I need to see this? I don't give a shit. I know the Falcons one. I just want to see the highlights. I don't want to see some guy in a jock strap I don't I don't want to see some guy in a jock strap. I don't need to see that, you know. A day right now that was a huge win for the Falcons of the Atlanta, the United Asheville football league. But was it too little too late?

We were third. Is the coaches just here on the chopping block? What's next for Maddie Ice? Does he stay in Atlanta? Is he going to re-upper? Is he gonna look for Greeter pastor? All right, dating someone with zero ambition. A. Billy Dick Fingers. I don't even know what the fuck that means. But I like it. I gotta tell you, I like it. A. Billy Dick Fingers. I recently started listening to your podcast and you got me hooked. Always love to stand up. And when I found out you have a podcast,

shit was I could get from God. Ah, aren't you a sweetheart? Anyways, anyways, I've been dating this lady for almost three years now. Things are going well, but I'm starting to get a little concerned about her. She started hanging around some people who I feel are a bad influence to her. They drink and she lets them drive her drunk. Oh God, that's not good.

And all they do is smoke pot and dick around. Now, I like when my girl can get out of the house and go have fun with her friends, but it's starting to influence a personality and whenever i try to call her out she says bullshit like okay mom or let me live my life i've recently been getting my creative slash ambitious crunch on and i'm working on big things turning my hobby of music into a profession i'm trying to come up

successfully in life and find myself at a critical point where I need to cut all the negative people out of my life Dude, you got your fucking head screwed on straight Exactly you're doing shit. She's not doing shit, right? This goes the same way the other way around if you're a woman and you got your shit together and you're with somebody does not have this shit together You should be looking, you, and you fired some warning shots And they're like okay mom whatever. It's just like I dude. All right go live that life But those fucking people will drag you down with them All right

God damn anchor around your neck. So anyways continue. I love this email so far God damn anchor around your neck. So anyways, I love this email so far. Right now her lack of ambition and need to sit around all day and smoke pot is kind of soul crushing and disappointing. I really love this girl, but I'm afraid I'll lose her to these shithead friends and she'll become a completely different person.

How do I try and help her get her shit together without seeming like a controlling douche? Thanks and go fuck yourself well I would memorize your last three sentences and I would just say it to her in a nice way just say listen I'll paraphrase with your own I really love you but I'm afraid that I'm gonna lose you I have these shithead friends all right I can't do it listen you just sit it down just say listen I need to talk to you. All right, put down the bond, focus. All right. You know, I love you. But I got to tell you, I've been concerned with the people that you've been

hanging around with lately. And I'm really feeling like it's starting to inflow let me finish. Let me finish. You don't have to agree with me. I feel like it's influencing your behavior. Before you hang out with these people, you're doing X, Y, and Z. Now you just kind of sit around the house smoking pot all day and it's so crushing to me. Okay, it doesn't motivate me and I love you

and to see you sitting there doing nothing with your life is killing me. All right. I need you to turn it around. Okay, and this is not a little thing. This is a major crossroads. I can't say that. Just say, I need you to do something about it.

And then this is the deal. Either she does or she doesn't. And if she doesn't, you fucking walk. Because I don't give a fuck how much you love this woman. You're gonna end up resenting her and hating her because she's gonna take you down with her. That's it. That's the mom, that's the mother of your kids sitting around, fucking, you know, smelling like, bon water, watching Bravo TV all fucking day, you can't have it, you can't have it,

you can't have it. That's it. All right? Is what you take her out back like fucking like Polly. We want Polly to talk to Henry Hill about drugs. Stay away from that shit. I'm not saying slapper in the face. I'll just say it. You know, just sit there as you cook and something. Stay away from that shit. All right. I don't want that shit my life. That's not gonna happen to me. All right. I got a friend of mine.

He's got a wife who's a total fucking pothead. Okay. He's only making 30 grand a year. That guy was on his way to being executive, right? That ain't happened for me. He's gonna die in that cubicle. That ain't happened to me. Dude, you're doing exactly what you need to do here. And you're questioning the right thing. And I'm gonna tell you something. You're gonna be successful in life because not only did you recognize this and the person that you're with despite the fact that you love him, alright right, you're motivated yourself and you understand already to get negative people out of your life too. You got to fucking do it. Okay, this is this is a one-time conversation. All right, that's it. Get your shit together. You say it nicely. All right, if you don't see, you don't see him turning around, that's it.

That's it. Fuck that dude. There's so many fucking great motivated people out there that you could be with. Okay, you don't need this shift. The fucking way you would. You're already a parent. You're not even a parent yet. You got a big fucking baby sitting there. That's on drugs. The worst kind of a baby. An adult one's on drugs. The worst kind of a baby, an adult one on drugs.

Now you got me hated here. Sorry. All right, that's the podcast. I'll talk to you guys on Thursday, which I believe is New Year's. Is that New Year's Day? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What's today's day? That's set it earlier, right? Monday the 28th, 29th, 30th, 31th. I'll do one, I'll do one. And maybe I'll have Paul Versa, he's gonna be in town because we're gonna be at the Orphanemen Downtown LA for two wonderful shows everybody to end this amazing fucking year that I had.

Every year just keeps getting better. And this year was no different. I wanna thank everybody who's been watching Effis for Family and tweeting about it and Facebook and doing all the social media. Oh, wait a minute, look at this, manning under fire. It's made the local L.A. News. What a fucking travesty.

If anybody has never done Reuters, it's Peyton Manning. He's had a dad body his entire fucking career. We have the guy alone. If he did a cycle just to get back out there, it's because he loved the game, it gives a fuck. Anyways, that's coming from a paycheap's fan too. I love the guy, I don't fucking, I've been doing a lot of shit over the years,

but he was a rival, what do you want from me? All right, anyways, I want to thank everybody once again for telling people about it, for watching it, for re-watching it. Please keep spreading the word. That's the best hope we have for getting a second season. Netflix has a ton of content and a finite amount of money. So just because we're doing well,

it doesn't mean we're going to get a second season. So please help spread the word and And that is it that is it that is all and I will talk to you on Thursday. All right. I'll check it on you. All right, see What's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast NFL edition for week number 17. Um, you do it. I got to tell you something, man.

I, uh, I was worried about last week. It was the worst lines. Thank God I had a winning, uh, I had a winning week. Uh, one again, Paul. You beat the book again. I need to get a t-shirt. You set me up. I'll take winning week. You win three and one again, Paul. You beat the book again. I need to get a T-shirt. You set me up. I'll take the bait.

Paul Verzi, ladies and gentlemen, has beat Bed MGM, picking four games against the spread. Three, three, what's the kids doing? Hey! You're like, they hit a three. Yeah. So this is cool. Um, Paul, you got to start doing that so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's gets like beats the book and then shits the bed the last two weeks and barely beats the book. I want a fucking, I'm coming still, dude. You know what I mean? I want to go to Andrew

very quietly. Kill Andrew's one like 80% of his fucking games. And then he got me, me, the dead weight on the team. No, yeah. Sports is past me. Sports has passed me. I've aged out. I got to talk to you about that. Dude, that, that thing you're wearing, that yellow and black. I mean, that thing is fucking. That is it. My wife hates it. Oh, how I hate she hates fucking anything that I wear sports. She fucking hates it. She's like, I said, I go, look at this thing. How good is this? She goes, she goes, wow, she goes, it looks official. That's what she said. Dude, that thing is pretty good. I mean, she's wearing some fucking stupid shit

that the Kardashians have with like, duck feathers on it. What? This is in style. It looks fucking stupid. Okay, I look like I'm gonna tape up somebody's ankle. All right. You mean, you look like you're in the circus. Dude, keep that close.

I'm on a podcast. No. look like you're in the circus. Do keep that close. I'm on a podcast. No, sorry. Next time we have a big social event, I'm gonna wear this and act like I don't understand why she is the first thing I noticed when I clicked on to this podcast was those fucking beautiful, beautiful yellow stripes going down with the white thing in the middle. And then I was the problem.

Dude, how could you have a problem with this? It has a nice collar on it. I could get into a golf club with this. Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you. I came on like a big shot with my Christmas New York and next basketball, right? And then I saw yours completely shut me down. I mean,

Well, you know what it is? This is like, what are they called? Scriptives, scriptives is a lot more sexier than they, next kind of went basic font, kind of like their draft picks. Dude, if Slice the Loan saw that, I knew he fucked that was a dick. That was a dick here.

So did you see Slice documentary? Yes. Jesus. Of course I did. Nice being too hard on himself, huh? I felt bad for him. I was like, dude, like your movies do mean something. They meant something for like generations of people

that they were uplifting, positive, heroic movies. I love his movies. It made me mad at fathers in general. It made me mad to know that you could feel like that. You could fucking get into a scene and when you get emotional in a scene, that's a classic. You're actually getting mad and angry at your upbringing.

It's fucking sad, dude. So many fathers are great, but so many fucked up because of their own shit. It made me mad. Maybe think of my own shit, dude. Fuck them all. All right. Yeah, I thought it very relatable when I was watching it. It was funny because my wife is almost crying and I was like laughing at points

and she goes, why are you laughing? I'm like, what else can you do? Right. Because I notice whenever you go to talk about his child he goes, you know, when I was growing up, yeah, things were difficult. And I would laugh there, not because I don't have empathy. I'm laughing because I know what he's doing.

He's thinking of a specific event and he's like, I don't wanna talk about I'm laughing because I know what he's doing. He's thinking of a specific event. And he's like, I don't want to talk about that. That's going to make me emotional. So I'm just going to, hey, you know, things happen away they did. And anyway, then I made this movie. No, never underestimate an abusive childhood for driving you towards success.

It's all you're doing is staying ahead of the sadness and confusion. Yeah. Yeah, and it's all dumb and it never had to be that way. Everybody that I know with a loving, great family from beginning to like everybody, they all just got steady jobs. It's just, you know what?

And they're happy. Yeah, yeah. They're the live laugh love people. They're all miserable people now make fun of because they can't live up to the standard of that sign and people are actually sitting there going like, oh, like all these people are just basic people that buy signs.

Some of them are, but not all of them, Paul. No, no, not at all. If I had a live laugh love sign in my house every three days, I would look at the sign and be like, I know. Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would. That's the best. How many times you're going to make the same point? I remember. The tree guys here. I remember the tree guys here. You get a house ball. I'll be sending you a bunch of guys. The bathroom guy, the tree guy.

Okay, let's air conditioning guy. Let's get into week 17 football everybody. We only got two more of these for the regular season. Oh, there's hilarious that we're like a combined a hundred years old and we're both dressed like the first day of school in third grade. I'm just going to say that. Um, listen, it's the holiday you throwing a sweatshirt. Yeah.

Paul, can we go back to the modern times? You're wearing sports memorabilia every fucking week. I know, but it's kind of a sports podcast. We're having a good time, you know? They call themie Models. Those are my true stories. Models, new whiz. I mean, was anything better than skipping school and buying a Sony disc walk, man?

And then going over to Models and getting a new fucking giant's jersey. You know, the anything better podcast, my dick sporting goes. Big five out here in LA. Oh, you guys don't have dick. So this fucking thing, I could sneak onto the Bruins bench with this guy. I'm thinking I'm gonna tell you something right now. By far, one of the cleanest pieces I've ever seen. Oh, and I had, my wife got me this for Christmas,

and I had to tell her, I kept sending it to her going, I know you don't like this, I want this. It's as crisp as you could get. Or as my wife says, it looks pretty official. Dude, when you're done with that thing, you should put in a glass case in your office. I'm being dead serious. Okay, I'll show you what I just got.

Speaking of a glass case. Yeah, my wife thinks she's gonna break me with this sports shit. Hang on a second. Oh, Paulie, what are you seeing this? I mean, that is like, I mean, that thing says like bossed on it, I'd wear it. Yeah, that jacket will be in style for a while. Those Kardashian feathers are out by President's day.

Yeah. I'm gonna be honest. I'm into art. I'm culture I Fancy the Guggenheim I don't know what to tell you. I prefer a J Miller autograph Jersey To to a Picasso that I mean, that's just, you know, that Jersey Paul, you know what, it speaks to me. At comics come home, they had all these great Bruins, Lyndon bias, Jay Miller, all the guys I love, Ken Linsman, Cam Nileek.

Well, obviously it's his event with Dennis Leary, Raymond Bork, Johnny Bucic, they had Patrice Bergeron. I always forget somebody because there was so many of them and they gave them the hundred year jerseys. And then afterwards I'm smoking a cigar, hanging with Jay Miller and all of those guys, which I couldn't believe. And he has a million of his own jerseys, so he autographed that thing to me. I mean, yeah, it's your pal, to bill your pal, Jay Miller. If you told Red Afro bill back in the Boston Garden in 1985 that I was going to have this thing and my life would have been complete, Paul. Would have been complete. I mean, I might get knocked me up for Polo Horse and I would not have a problem with it.

I may go to the slide thing. I may go as far as to say, maybe the cleanest piece that's ever been on the anything better show. So, you know, and you know what, none of this would mean anything to my wife. Oh, dude, yeah, but I mean, it's our sports show. Don't worry about it.

You know, what do you get to do, you know what it is, Paul? I can't let go of that. I can't let go of how the water flows one way in the relationship, you know what I mean? Cause deep down none of them are truly happy. So it's like, I'm happy. I'm happy in my sweatshirt, you know? See, that's what a man, a man is happy.

You give a man a fucking sports memorabilia shirt and he's fucking fine. You know? This is what I do to Paul all the time. Anytime I start bitching about my wife a little bit, he's not even mad about his wife or women in general, but by the end of it, he's more upset than I am. He starts up, oh no, no, I like it. I like it by the end. You just like, you know what? You know, they're just not happy people. Well, like a man will be like, should be like, what do you want to do for the weekend?

Be like, I don't know, the football games on. Maybe we'll order some food, have a couple of friends over and sit down, relax. And they go, yeah, but shouldn't we? And it's like, that's the problem right there. No, he shouldn't. Everything, I already fixed it. It's done.

My wife is actually a happy person, but she just doesn't think that I know things. Is she? I'm just kidding. You ever do that to your friend? No, she is. I'm definitely more of the curmudgeoned. And if she was here, she'd be like,

oh, I have to fuck her, you know, that shit. Oh, dude, I got one for you before we get into this game thing. Oh, we're going off on the wives this week. No, no, no, no, dude. I, I, uh, I'm not using any names here. I, my wife, I felt bad. I, my wife's mother, no, um, dude. I felt bad the other day about something that happened and I felt really bad and I just

needed to go, I needed to go and smoke a cigar. I was physical. You got a little physical. I was, you know, you need to block, you were about three drinks in, you were talking shit. You threw a lamp, it happens, Paul. I got mad, something out of my control, I got mad, so I said to Stase, I need to go smoke a cigar. So I go to this place and I see a guy that I know great guy

You know great guy and I go at dude. I had a bad day I go I had a bad I grabbed my wine. I start smoking a cigar and I go I had a bad day man I just I needed this and he goes yeah me too So I go I give it to him first. I go, what happened? I go, what happened, dude? He goes, ah, dude, she signed the divorce papers, man, 20 years of a family with three kids gone. I got to pay this. We just finished court and dude, I was just looking at like a guy that was really just a hurt and man. And then I go, hey, dude, I'm glad I'm glad you went first. Because I was just like, yeah, you know, it was just dude. And I was just listening to it man.

And then dude, it was as bad as it could be. So I was like, I'm all right, you know, I'm all right. Yeah, I don't know. For a man or a woman, I don't know how after 20 years you get back out there You know what I mean? It's like your life as far as like knowing what the fuck's going on Once you get into a serious relationship, it just ends right you let well Living on a prayer. It's on the fucking radio You come up 25 fucking years later and everybody's listening to if you come up 25 fucking years later. And everybody's like, I don't see him in my heart,

but we can see him in my heart. Yeah. Oh, yeah, but oh. Whatever this fucking almost crying, you don't rapper sound like to me, like you know when somebody's lying to you and they're trying to act like they're crying? Oh yeah.

I almost took a drink last night. They start talking like that. There's no water in your eyes. You're just fucking lying. When people live, I think like music sports, it bugged me for like a good couple of decades. Now I'm just getting a thing to be like, Bill, maybe you think, you know,

maybe you just aged out of this shit. I think that's what it is. Just too fucking old to understand. I don't understand any. I always hated that more money, more problems. Like how did it go from a fool in his money are soon parted to more money, more problems? It's like, no, more money,

you should have less fucking problems. Unless you're going out to the club and getting involved in some stupid shit, or you meet some chick, and you're fucking banger without a condom and you have a some stupid shit. Or you'll meet some chick and you're fucking banger without a condom and you have a kid. Yeah. Now she's coming at me. Yes, you idiot.

It should be a moron with more money has more problems. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you know what, I'm gonna do Paul. I'm gonna buy a gun illegally and then I'm gonna put it in my car and start speeding down the street. See how that works?

I'm almost, I'm coming at me because I got money. Now you're an idiot. Go buy a gun legally. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're 100% right. Dude, you know how many comedians I saw back in the day when they got money, the dumb fucking,

the smart ones, the smart ones who still dressed like they didn't have money went out and bought an apartment. All right? Yeah. Everybody else who, and like, you know, before the race to start thinking I'm picking on anybody, I'm not. Okay? Both sides. It came down to some people understood money, some people did not.

And that's how you ended up having more problems. Because the fucking idiots who got money walked around and you immediately knew. But I know that they had money. You knew basically how much they had by what they were wearing, walking down the street. And what is that, a track, Paul? What is it, a track? Always.

Listen, they come out of the woodwork. Like zombies in the thriller video. I think the aged matters. You know, when Biggie rest his soul, when Biggie made more money, more problems, he was like in his early 20s. So I think when young, Johnny Sanchez.

Yeah, when young people get money, dude, could you imagine a 24, 24 year old Paul Verzi with fucking $25 million, dude? I would have had a fucking giraffe in my back dude. I would have been dead by 27. Dude, I would have done a total of Montana shit. I would have fucking be like coming to backyard Bill, you'd see some wild, you'd be like, yeah.

I would have not felt worthy of it. And I would have hooked up all of my friends. I wouldn't have bought a lot of stupid shit though. I've always had that, because of my upbringing, like the other shoe is going to drop right on your fucking head. Yeah. All right, let's get into football. Um, guys, we can have more fucking weeks, more problems, Paul, for me. Uh, let's get into week 17, guys, uh, before we do though, let's, we have to shout out the greatest, the, what can you

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Burr, that's B-U-R-R, and deposit at least $10 into the bet MGM sportsbook account. Place your first wager and receive up to $1,500 back in bonus bets if the bet loses. If the bet does lose, your bonus bets will be available once your initial wager is settled. They have $1,500 in fun bonus bets. So enjoy that. Bet responsibly. And let's get into week 17, which is Bill's first pick. Okay, with my first pick, Paul, I got to go with the team I went against last week. Dude, three weeks in a row, I didn't think to 49 is going to cover. I finally take the 49ers and they get the fucking, you know, they got humbled.

You know, where were all those people going at Brock Pertia? Hey, he's drawing the ball before they make the breaks. It's like, isn't that what every NFL quarterback does? I think that's what called being a pro is. Is that's what being a pro? I think I look most of college kids do that. Ravens, minus three over the dolphins. Ravens are a good team. Dolphins do not be good teams. They finally be a reeling good team. Reeling good team and the Dallas Cowboys. I don't think Nick Crowell gets it done this week with the dolphins. I like the Ravens. Reeling good team, reeling good team and the Dallas Cowboys.

I don't think Nick Crowell gets it done this week with the dolphins. I like the Ravens minus three at home in Baltimore with those great football fans, fucking screaming in yelling in the dolphins here. Not only do I love that pick, I love your assessment of it, Bill. I think it's the jacket you're wearing. Like, well, you know what it is? I can assess like like with the best of them.

I can't pick a fucking winner to save my life. You need to do it. You're still right. You're hovering, dude. You're hovering, Paul. I'm done. I'm under the water. So when this guy gets attacked by a shark, you always come up a couple of two three times

and then it's the time you go under and that's it. And that's right when the bull comes over. You realize, yeah. All right. I am going to go with the game when I looked at these, I don't love these lines either, but when I looked at it, the first game that I said has to happen has to happen is, um, is, uh, the Jaguars minus six against the hapless Panthers. The Jaguars are home.

Uh, I think the lines, Panthers covered last week against the Green Bay Packers. The Jaguars are home. I think the lines, that was panthers covered last week against the Green Bay Packers. I know, I know. They're playing better football those fucking guns. They are playing better football, but listen, if the Jacksonville Jaguars don't win

by a touchdown at home against a two or three win team, I can sleep. So I'm taking Jacksonville. Okay. Okay, Paul. Okay. All right Paul. Okay. All right, my next safe pick is, I don't know why fucking Seahawks

are only three and a half favorites at home against the Steelers. I don't know, somebody hurt their fucking, can anybody in the side? Anybody in the side? Tell me. There he is. Hot take, Jake the snake. What do you get?

I don't think there's any injuries. I think the Steelers just seem to find ways to win every week. I tell you there he is. There he is. Hot take, Jake. Jake the snake. What do you get? I don't think there's any injuries. I think the Steelers just seem to find ways to win every week. So it's just one of those things for they feel like it's a goal. I like how you tried to help me out. And even more than that, I love your soothing tone. I'm still going to go with the Seahawks. Sneaky Pete.

Sneaky Pete. You got to go sneaky Pete. Jake the snake, everybody. Taking that one last good look at that handsome man in 2023. Is that your last piece of eye candy you're going to see on this project? I tell you what dude, I would want Jake as a doctor giving me bad news. You just come in nice. Listen, it's not the best thing, but look, there's medicine. You'll be fine. It's a small brain tumor. Besides of a walnut. He picks original fruit and shit to say what it looks like.

Size of avocado. I love out. Yeah, guacamole. We're going to make guacamole out of this cancer. All right. All right, Bill. What are you got? So your second pick you going with the fucking seahawks. You love all the fucking dirty birds. All right. All right. Let's see with that cheat.

Nass stadium. How about the dolphins adding to the our stadium cheats for us. Did you saw that right? You're standing the sun the whole fucking time when you play the dolphins. Yeah. And they're in the shade the whole fucking time. You know what that is Paul, that's gamesmanship. That's what it's called gamesmanship. It's complicated. All right. Paul, I'll make it faces. Paul taking his time. Are the Kansas City chiefs this bad because dude, the Kansas City chiefs are lose at home on Christmas, Taylor Swift's entire family, including

her siblings are dressed for Christmas in the suite. Travis Kelsey not doing much, my homes, missing throws are the Kansas City chiefs. Finally, I don't know. I got to see it. They're at home. They're minus seven against the Bengals who, you know, have a backup quarterback and are, I think, out of the playoffs now, I think Kansas City, if they're going to make a run, it's got to be now. If they're going to go to the Super Bowl and make a deep playoff run, it's got to be now.

I'll take the Kansas City Chiefs minus a touchdown at home in Arrowhead. This is probably a bad thing, Paul, but I like that. All right. I'm going to take the rate is getting three and a half going into Indianapolis. I like their coach. I just like that coach and I just like the Raiders vibe. And I think they're going to go in there and they're going to fucking Mad Max is going to smack some people around. Devonte Adams is going to go off. They're going to go off. They're going to win though. They're going to win.

I believe in the Raiders. I believe in their coach. They've just been such a circus over there and they just say unbelievably talented team at so many important positions. And Jim Mercy owns the Colts. So, fuck him, the Raiders. I love that pick. I think the Raiders want to

fuck and run through a wall for Antonio Pierce. That's a great one. For my third pick, I'm gonna take the team that just keeps winning and looks like they're going to make the playoffs. Baker Mayfield and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are minus two and a half at home against the Saints. The Saints just never, never turned the corner.

I think the Saints never turned the corner. I don't think they're that good. I think they're okay, but I don't like them on the road against Tampa. I know it's a division rivalry, but I think that Baker may feel to them smell some blood for the playoffs. I'm going to take the box. How about Baker may feel, dude? Dude, like he's a winner. You call, he's a winner everywhere he goes. He fucking wins. Well, it's not calling cowherd. Once he's going to just give it up and just say he was wrong. Never.

I'm going to say he's never going to do that. He was wrong about that guy. That guy, fucking wins. He wins. Took the browns to the playoffs, won a playoff game, Paul, with the Cleveland Browns. Had a cup of coffee with the Rams. Now he's with the Buccaneers, post-tombr everybody, but, but, but, but, but, look at him. Look where they're at.

Good for him. I don't want to talk bad about anybody. And I don't, I don't necessarily call him, I heard you're a friend, I'm breaking his balls. Don't go, I don't want to talk, I don't want to talk bad about Colin Coward, but Colin Coward, he has this thing where he's so definitive. Like if he was at a restaurant,

he was at a restaurant. And he at a restaurant and he was telling you it was the best chicken cutlet. Like he's so intense with it. Like he's just, and he sticks with it, dude. He's so like steadfast. He the childhood trauma or he's a narcissist. I don't know, but either way it's working for him. I'm going to go, I'm going to take the, I'm going to take the Chicago Bears at home minus two and a half against the Falcons. Who are the Falcons? Nobody knows.

Who are the Bears? Nobody knows. This is like betting on two strippers in a fucking mud wrestling contest. I actually like the bears are playing well. for my fourth and final pick, I am going to take the Houston Texans at home minus four. They're playing the Titans and I just hate that game. I just think the Titans are done. And I think the Texans need a win. And I think the Texans are going to get it this week.

Uh, yeah, there's no really rhyme or reason. I don't love this week, but that was the game I saw. Here's my call. The off season. The New England Patriots make a deal with the Denver Broncos and bring Russell Wilson. We keep Bill Belichick. Russell Wilson comes in.

We get him back at sea level. He starts playing. He starts playing. He starts playing the way that he can. They should not dress him for the last two games and have him stand on the sideline and have all those fans screaming at him. There's no reason to do that. No.

Andrew Thelmaus just said, he'd have to convince his wife to move to New England. What is she from Denver or something? She's a singer from I think California, I don't know. I don't know. I will never understand. I don't know. What the fuck does the wife have to say?

It's like, it's like, it's like, it doesn't she, Paul. No, it's like, dude, I'm making this money. I'm going to play here, okay? You live in a fucking, you're driving a, you're driving a Bugatti to fucking them all with the chauffeur. Now, believe me, if they were making the money that Russell Wilson was making and you were the husband

and you said something, she would throw how much money she's making right in your fucking face. You do it to them, what do they say? You're gonna throw that in my face? I'm not throwing it in your face. I'm stating the obvious that you obviously don't fucking what? Because you make more money that means you make the decisions. Dude, that guy fucks you. Don't you do? That guy Stedman should write a book, dude. That guy fucking.

Dude, Stedman's just been sitting. What? How do you get treated worse than the I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm fucking, I'm, I'm fucking. I'm for it. It's like a post apocalyptic fucking bunker. He's always calling his buddies. And it's just like, steady, steady Eddie. I was fucking there last night. No, I know. It's more games tonight. It's like my wife. I mean, I can't.

All right. If you change your mind, I'll be out. I got plenty of room. If you want to. No, steady. You want to stay overnight or maybe building airplane in it you know I got plenty of room Yo steady you going to open with Oprah tonight Halloween Hollywood party now hang down here watch you come by

You bring some Doritos and chips we're gonna watch the game I just see Stem in a dirty wife beaters sitting on the cats. And I've been talking to me in years. I know he got no kids out of it. It's just like that's that's a rough one. Oh Jake just said I hope it's exactly like the Chappelle sketch. Oh shit. Oh did he do a sketch on that? I think he did. Yeah. Do there's so many Chappelle sketches that I see where I'm just like did he do a sketch on that I think he did yeah, there's so many shapel sketches that I see where I'm just like did I miss a fucking season or did they just Edit song that's never aired. Yeah, is that what happened? I don't know you think Stedman got a prenup

No, she asked him and he's like, well, why would you do that? I mean you don't love me Oh shit Statement's like oh bro, can we finally go to my friends? It's all about your friends tired of this shit Fucking statement dude god bless deadman dude All right. I don't know. You have a one. I'm still going.

He won. Wait, no, did you pick the perfect? I got Ravens, Raid is Seahawks in Bears. Okay. Ravens Raid are Seahawks in Bears. Okay. I have Jacksonville lines and Tigers in Bears, oh my. I have Jacksonville, Tex, Buccaneers and

chiefs. All right, it's Monday night special time. We have this is the toughest game of the week. This is the hardest game to predict. It's literally flipping a coin. It's the Packers, Packers Vikings Vikings are mine as you like the Packers Packersers Vikings. Vikings are mine. You like the Packers? Packers. All right. All right, let's do it. So when the fuck did the fucking Cleveland Browns become 11 and five?

Where the hell was I all season? They have the best defensive football and they've done it with, they're the only team to ever clinch a playoff thing with four different quarterbacks. Four, wow. Four. Hey, good scouting, good recruiting. Okay, now if we actually did an actual sports radio show,

where you just have to come, you gotta make everything a big deal. Like I guarantee you, Steven A Smith is somebody but is the quarterback position overrated? Cause I'll tell you what, no. Yeah, if four guys could do it, what I'll tell you right now. Yeah. If four guys could do it, what's that tell you? Did not his value, was it used to be?

I mean, I don't want to pick on Russell Wilson. Just doing anything to get people to keep listening. Oh, Bill would be so happy. Bill, I know you so well, dude. You would be, if Russell Wilson came to the Patriots and you guys went on a run, you would fucking go nuts, dude. That's your guy. So it was the most beautiful deep ball for the for years in the NFL.

And I don't know what happened. He went to mile high. The altitude was different. I was comparing it to like when the Aspen comedy festival, all these killers, high energy comics would go out there and the air was so thin that They'd be out of breath after three jokes and they wouldn't get a deal Is that right Though there was there was a young comedian special when it was also you were performing in front of like the fucking illuminati

All these old fucking white chicks wearing fur everyone was big into fur All these old fucking white chicks were in fur. Everyone was big into fur. This is the 90s, right? Before these, you know, hairy legged chicks that pretended they cared about anything but themselves would throw paint on you, right? So they had like, minks, like, I remember where this booker came in and he showed up

and he had a full-length fucking mink coat on, looking like your boy that went to the next game and the FBI is like who's that guy? Frank Lucas? Frank Lucas, yeah. He showed up with a Frank Lucas fur and some chicken. She had like so much fur. She even had the thing that your hands are in like this and it's just like a thing of fur. That's what you were performing to and then you'd go up there with your ham and egg or fucking material and just bomb in front of people that had like hundreds of millions of dollars in real estate and finance and all of that shit. It was awful.

Awful festival. And it would always fucking, you know, you'd get to dent her fine. And then when you'd have to make the connecting flight to Aspen, there was always some sort of storm and you ended up having to get on a bus, you'd get up there and you'd just like, what the fuck is this?

What is this? Yeah. Rich people with their really good looking drug addicted kids are ready at 12. Jesus. Dude, Russell Wilson is so young. Dressing inappropriately. You know, I thought Russell Wilson, we did that on the show.

We were like, oh, he's got to be always, he's 35, 30, he's still young. That's the thing. He's got, he's got, physically, he's got to still have it. Dude, Sean Payton was yelling at him like that, dude was yelling at that drummer in that movie. Or in the fucking sideline. Yeah, Sean Payton does not like him.

And he should leave. He's gonna leave. They said he's gonna leave. But who the fuck's gonna pick up that contract? Like Denver's gonna have to eat some of it. I think we can get a bargain. That'd be great. I'd love to see him a patriot and do well. Or he could go be Aaron Rodgers back at the Jets. That'd be sick. I know, but I'm also not addressing the problems that we have. Like we don't have a bona fide star at wide receiver, like we had all of those years,

and our offensive line's been a little banged up and not being able to protect the quarterback. So, you know, you think Belichex can leave or no? No, I don't. I don't understand like unless they really just feel like it ran its course. You know, what was he hired? What was his first year, Bill? 2000. Wow. He's been there for almost a quarter of a century. Oh, shit. Yeah. And you think the amount of people that came in and

and and and came and went in that time. It's amazing. It's an incredible fucking run. It's going to be hard to watch. I don't think it's going to end in a good way. I just don't think it's going to. Which sucks, but that's, but that is part of coaching where it just seems like, you know, if you look at all the, all the greats, it always, you seems to end that way more times than like take Bill Cauer. Bill Cauer is with the Steel forever, won a Super Bowl and then left, left on top. That was pretty cool. Also, another example of that is, and what's his name?

He even said it. Jotori said it. Jotori is like, dude, when we beat the Mets in the World Series, he's like, I thought that was pure Nirvana for some, because George Steinbrenner wanted to beat the Metz more than any team ever. He hated the rivalry in New York, he hated that day, he were even compared to them. And Tori said he had more pressure to beat the Metz

in the World Series and any other thing, and he beats them. And he said, dude, when he did that and the run, I still think he didn't like the Red Sox more, Paul. From, no, dude, that's the family. He hated the meds. He wanted to beat the Red Sox. It just doesn't, it just doesn't track the meds suck. The meds always suck. They're not a fucking problem.

But he was a narcissist that didn't want another in his city. Well, I could see in the world series, it's like we can't have the other team beat us in the world series. I get that. Yeah, yeah. But generally speaking, Paul, April the September, he was watching us. Well, yeah, we played you guys April the September he was watching us well

Yeah, we played you guys feel like fucking the Joker in Lego Batman right now where I want you to acknowledge that I mean something to you guys That's a great analogy But Joe Tory won five world series and did all those things at Steinbeer and I wanted him to do and and then he was just like it ended horribly. It ended horribly. He went for. Oh, yeah, who won? Gerardi won one one? Gerardi won a no nine. Gerardi won the one against the Phyllis. Yeah. So he won four and he was like, I'm good. And then he got fired for Gerardi and it did not end well. He didn't show up for a while. It's like, what is it going to? Yeah, so if Bella check leaves on bad terms, it'll be a joke. I'm going to treat it.

Joe Tory like shit while he was winning. Always issuing statements. Yeah. The boss is going to issue a statement. Let me guess, they have in one three last three games and you're not happy. It was so stupid. Yeah, we go on like a five game skid

and there would be a fucking letter from George Steinbrenner. Anyway, Monday night special. I guess it worked or whatever, but I always found that guy to be like, I don't know, sort of a blowhard. Rest is sold. No, fuck him. Go ahead. Um, Bill likes the

Packers. It's one point. It's a, it's a basically a pick them. I'll go with the Packers. Let's go Jordan love to throw one. Yep. And some fat fucking cheese had to have a heart attack in the second quarter. See over under on that. Who's going to have a heart attack in the second quarter. See, over under on that. Who's going to have a heart attack first? A Viking fan or a fucking packer fan? Those people, Jesus Christ, well, at least they ice fish and fucking Minnesota. Packer fans are crazy. 10,000 likes, Paul. They have 10,000 reasons you should not be fat in Minnesota and they still are. It's unbelievable. Most constant, you understand, Paul.

We've got ice cream, cheese, cheese, curds, cows. You know, you are what you eat. That's why there's a bunch of cows walking around upright. Fucking. I don't even know who's fucking, who should we do here? Justin Jefferson to catch one. All right, Paul, you're picking a wife and you're throwing a dart. You're going Minnesota you're going Wisconsin. Justin Jeffers is going to catch one. Okay I go

with that. Hello. What? Just take who you pick. You're throwing a dart you pick a Minnesota or a fuck I'm talking about women. Oh What are women in cheese? Who do you like? Oh? Man, I'll probably go green make is as close to was con university Wisconsin so I can just kind of go over there You know I'm saying so Even if you don't love it, you could still catch a few games. I got to go Minnesota. It's no no no brainer women. Yeah. Oh Yeah, Paul. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Jake, you think Jeffress is gonna catch one. What do you think? I think so. Um yeah, I he's he's great. So I definitely think he can he's unstoppable. So I think it's a good pick. He's a good best. That's why receiver football period. Yeah. He's unstoppable. So I think it's a good thing. It's a good thing. That's why I received my football period. Yeah, he's outstanding.

All right, can you guys stop your love fest here for fucking Jordan Jefferson? Jordan love. George Jefferson? Johnny Jefferson. The charges. All right, so Jefferson, what's his first name? I'm gonna get the names down next season.

Justin. JJ. They call him JJ. He's fucking kids with their young kid names. I'm gonna get the names down next season Justin JJ They come JJ These fucking kids with their young kid names Justin Did you know one Justin growing up one? One He was a douche right

You know that guy was just gonna defend his opinion no matter what not gonna trust some kid I don't know. All right. So here we go, everybody. We got the Packers plus one. We got Jordan love to throw one. And we have the nice moment of the Vikings. This game will be Justin Jefferson anytime touchdown.

There you go. That's the Monday night. Don't you feel like they always try to take away the best wide receiver? Should we, one of these weeks, Paul, we got to pick the number two receiver. Yeah, but this kid, they could double. It doesn't matter. He's the best. Yeah, I don't know about that one All right, let's do that all right. Let's do that. What is fucking beautiful? I mean it is it is It's like in pulp fiction when they open the case. I just took my head off

You know, you should see the snare drum my wife got me You know, you should see the snare drum my wife got me. You're just gorgeous. No, no, I fucking cleaned up. She just thinks I just, I look like an athletic trainer. And I'm like, I'll take that. I'll take that. You look great. Dude, when you're 70, I'm an old guy that young kids go, what are you doing?

Dude, when you're 75, I want that to happen at some point in my life. That's never happened to me if you if you're a 75 year old man retired And you put your feet up and you're rocking that they're gonna be like that guy knows this fucking sports Yeah, so they talk to me. I had kids like life I became disconnected and they're gonna try to get off your porch All right, sir You know it kills me Paul as I used to beat the fucking book before we did this goddamn show before I had kids I I used to be somebody Paul. I was like that. I had a couple of good seasons Phil you beat the book on the show you beat them you beat the book the first year and last year you were two games off

What do you I mean? Yeah, you're hard on yourself Bill You beat the book with me on the first time we did this. It's only the third time we did it. Yeah. Bill's, how many times does Bill come on the show? Dude, this fucking week, I think I like, dude, you were two and two. Oh, I was.

All right, guys, listen, $10 in deposit, $10 in. I mean, I didn't know it was a tech bill fucking week. I don't live that, I'm joking. I'm being that fucking person that just you know does that the victim. Oh, Geebs. Sorry. Sorry. I didn't know I couldn't do like I can't say anything. Can't say anything. All right, guys, for this week, like we said, you go, you download the bed MGM app, use our code bonus code, burb. You are very easy. You put as little as $10 in there as much as 10, whatever. And you'll after if the bet loses, you get $1,500 in a bonus bet, bet responsibly Monday night special. We got the Packers plus one. We got Jordan love to throw on and we got Justin

Jefferson to catch a touchdown. That's it. Enjoy the week. Enjoy. Oh, and happy new year everybody. We will see you in 2024. Yes, and thank you so much for watching this year. And not giving us shit for our sports memorabilia. See you guys next week. Bye bye. you