Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 12-3-20

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

Bill rambles about double standards, Texas, and renting movies.

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Visit Genesight.com for more information. Hey what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you. Hey Bill, how come you didn't do the big long stupid yell? Because I'm doing two shows a night for the next eight days. So for all you guys that went to public school like me, that's sixteen shows. And now there's a comedy there so I'm trying to preserve my voice because I want my shit

jokes to be pristine in the great state of Texas. I'm having a great time out here. As much fun as you can have during a fucking pandemic. I did some cool shit. I landed at Love Field for the first time. I always wanted to land there. I always landed the bigger one. But I wanted to go through the airport but I didn't fly commercial because I got kids

and I got a gig I have to do so. Which is fucking hilarious which means like half my money just went out the fucking window but it is what it is during a pandemic. So we actually didn't go through the airport. We landed on the other side. So that is the famous airport where JFK landed when the unfortunate shit happened to him. That's kind of an understatement. You know he kind of had some unfortunate shit happen to him.

You know my buddy was just telling me that one of the Kennedys retweeted something about the CIA taking out JFK. I mean that always made the most sense to me. It couldn't have been the mob because then they would actually be bigger than the government. Right? And it couldn't have been that. Lee Harvey Oswell also I'm the patsy. I just I believe that when he said it.

I mean that's just me okay and I'm also you know conspiracy theorist type of person. I think everybody's full of shit. You know everything's a fucking conspiracy. Just watching this Donald Trump bullshit is he's raising all this money. He's done. He fucking lost. Not saying he really lost. I'll go with you if they just go like alright well they fucking slid some over to Joe Biden.

I would believe that in a second just for the simple fact that you know people are trying to make money okay and you can't make money when you have no fucking idea what the president is gonna is gonna do. Nobody knows what the fuck he's gonna do. He's like he's going Bill Belichick on us. What the fuck is this guy doing out here? So they want they want a nice predictable warmonger with a face like Jerry Jones. But as far as that little jackass with this fucking rifle I just don't I don't buy it.

Magic bullet and all of that shit I don't buy it. I think I think this is my bullshit theory. I just think JFK was not you know given the big boys what they needed so they could go out and make their money. So back in the day it got messy. Nowadays they can just take you out on social media they have this fucking photoshop some shit you know say that you did something with the Russians you know they'll just fucking come up with some shit they'll cut and paste it together whatever you're not from this country

whatever the fuck they need to do. You weren't born here they'll just come up with some bullshit and they'll get you the fuck out of there. They don't they don't need to whack you anymore it doesn't need to be messy plus you know the reality is because convertibles are kind of like you know it's kind of a chick car now can't have a president and a convertible. Hi did you guys see the real housewives last night well what about the first lady president and he could stick her in a convertible you know and feminists would all get mad how come

they get a why do they have a you know no they actually go the other way and be like you know see this is just this is this convertible top is just the essence of a woman open emotionally where where the men ride in a hard top just walling off their feelings it's a phallic symbol I always love that the skyscrapers and rockets and shit are all phallic symbols and it's kind of like well you know there's some architecture and design aerodynamics in there but if you want to say it looks like a giant dick you fucking whore I'll go with it why couldn't we flip it around and say you got penis envy there's so much of that feminist shit that's just hilarious to me like or just female arguments where they go

oh it's a double standard if a guy does it easy he's just stud if a woman does it she's a whore well first of all men have to talk women into bed well women can just show up with the titties out they can get some dick I mean that's kind of how it is right don't want to be crass but I just was and there's also other double standards that level it off if a guy fucks around he's a dog he's a piece of shit it's his fault if a woman fucks around it's the guys fault he wasn't giving her what she needed emotionally so this there's double standards that work out for you a listen I don't want to I don't want to start a fight here between the men and the women all right I want gay people to argue so here's no kidding

all right um I watched some uh I mean I just basically I just I haven't done shit I essentially I go to the venue I do my shows and then I come back to the hotel and I study my French and I've been watched speaking of French I watched a movie on Netflix called Lost Bullet which I really really really enjoyed and I gotta be honest with I'm getting pretty good about reading French you know it's flying by but I gotta tell you as far as trying to understand when those people are talking holy shit I mean it is like a hundred times faster than I can kind of keep up but I've been sticking with it I did duo I've done duo lingo for a hundred forty one days in a row and then I got this really great app what the fuck

is it called here yeah da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da pimsler p i m s l e u r and I don't know I just been doing this shit we'll see if I stick with it I always start to do it then I never do but I think this one this time it's gonna stick cuz it's kind of I follow some not just follow random people on Twitter and Instagram just cuz they're French like I just sort of wrote some French shit just to see what accounts would come up and I just followed anybody just cuz I want to be reading it and now I'm starting to watch like French movies I'm trying to immerse myself into the language cuz I think it would be fucking hilarious to go to Paris one day and act like an ignorant

American and actually be able to understand what people are saying or maybe you don't even do anything and they just look at your dear face and just go you know they're stupid American and whatever the fuck they would say America unless it's a woman Mary can just be francais my wife would be francaisa madame all right moving plowing ahead here yeah so I watched that movie lost bullet and then I'm also really big on renting movies on YouTube they got a lot of good fucking movies on there I kind of I'm trying to find some obscure like early 70s movies that are good you know like the friends of whatever the fuck that movie was that I watched that I loved Eddie Coyle unbelievable movie and then I saw trying

to take some other ones I just watched a couple of car movies I literally watched a movie called the car with James Brolin Josh Brolin's dad I believe Ronnie Cox who played Boga mill in the Beverly Hills cop series I just watched that movie you know it's just interesting the I got to post one of the lines I'll post the clip it's basically a car that's going around killing people in this small town and it kills you know it kills so many fucking people you think that they would get you know they would turn to like the feds or maybe try to get the army to come in there to stop this fucking car but they don't these cops in the middle of nowhere they just try and stop this goddamn car and they get mad at the car and all these people are yelling at it for

whatever reason out of nowhere this chick just yells out as the cars driving away she just yells out cat poo and I would put that line right up there with one of my favorite bad lines in a script that an actor just gave gave it their all is a great movie called over the edge I've talked about this before the kids take over the school they lock the parents in like the the little auditorium and they start trashing the school and the local cops trying to get you know they pulled the gates locked them and they're trying to get out of there you know and their kids are vandalizing the school right I bet if I watched it now now that I'm older I'd be like these goddamn punk kids these parents need to get them in order but I was a kid I liked it like yeah

man trash the school fucking trying to teach us for free this woman grabs a giant globe and as she's running past the auditorium the cops on the other side of the gate and she stops and she looks at them and she's holding the globe and she just goes eat it you stinkin pig I don't know what that means other than they were trying to stay with the PG rating but whatever I'm making fun of that movie a little bit I will tell you if anybody can find out where that shot because there's an opening scene where there's two people riding a bicycle through this this this tunnel and like it looks like this southwest of this country it's fucking gorgeous and then of course some fucking shit happens after that but it's it's a cool movie man if you're just in like a silly mood

you want to watch something then it's also cool seeing Josh Brolin's dad Josh Brolin's one of the coolest fucking actors ever and you see his dad you're like ah that's where he got it that's where he got that swagger you know so what I can't understand is whenever they do a movie about the 70s like now they never can do the hair right like if you look at like James Brolin's hair with the stash it's like that's the dude that's the fucking Marlboro man that's the guy everybody wanted to be in the 70s and that's the fucking haircut that's what you wanted to look like it's right there on film I know maybe when people get cast they don't have time to grow it out but it always just looks like they're wearing stupid wigs but anyway some cool cars in there some

Plymouth Furys motorcycles and shit 10 speed bikes from back in the day I'm a really am a child of the 70s and then my music is from the 80s and I just been having a great time there's a couple of Bert Reynolds movies I want to check out too so that's what I've been doing on the road good clean fun we also got some the best fucking barbecue I think I've ever had let me get you the name of this place I think it's called the pecan lodge here in Dallas Texas hold the best fucking brisket I ever had and like they ordered that shit got it for me and I ate it like an hour later and it you know because I was doing the show and it was still unbelievable I believe it's the pecan lodge I believe it's the pecan lodge yes you got to have the brisket holy fucking

shit it's not like that thin cut it's like a thick cut almost like a small steak and it was just the juiciest brisket you know because sometimes you know barbecue the thing about barbecue is as far as my limited knowledge is a lot of times it's not a good cut of meat that's why they cooked it low and slow and then they would put like that sauce on it to try to give it some flavor so if people don't know what they're doing like we had this other barbecue last night and it did not travel well I'm not going to trash the place to say the name of it because that's not fair I think you've got to go there and sit down but the pecan lodge holy shit if you ever come to Dallas that's the way to go and love field too as people tell me has a little aviation museum I don't know if I'm

gonna have time to go over there I kind of just been chilling here you know watching movies they got you know going to the gym making sure there's nobody down there my shoulders are feeling good man I actually worked out yesterday did like super lightweight's and stuff but it just felt good to get that pump going again you know maybe want to go back to the 80s and put on my spandex and only do my chest and my buys no legs pencil legs overdeveloped up top right walking around looking like you're on stilts oh fuck who's playing football tonight what bop bop ba doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo Thursday night football it comes right up who do we got tonight no Thursday night football NFL game for week 13 here's why do when JFK got assassinated they still led the football

alright NFL week 12 overreactions this will not be my home's in the chief's last trip to Tampa this season that's an overreaction is what they're saying wait the Baltimore Ravens were supposed to have a full week of preparation following their Thanksgiving Day matchup against the Pittsburgh Steelers six-time Super Bowl champion Spitzberg Steelers before kicking off NFL week 13 tonight against the five-time Super Bowl champion the Dallas Cowboys when the hell was this written December 3rd okay however due to a coronavirus outbreak that forced the league to postpone their game against the Steelers until Wednesday which the Steelers won 1914 the Ravens will have a game moved for a second consecutive week instead of playing the Cowboys at home tonight the game

has been pushed to 8 p.m. Eastern time on Tuesday with Fox's Thursday night football broadcast team Joe Buck the voice of Lou Gagliardi on efforts for family and Troy Aikman on the call that's cool man by the way speaking efforts for family we just did the final table read for efforts for family episode 44 I cannot tell you how much fun I had doing that show writing those characters and all the voiceover actors that I really I learned so much about acting I learned how to write a script I met some of the best friends I've met in my life and in this business and I plan to stay in touch with everybody I mean it's not over yet we still have to edit do all that stuff for a year for the next year it doesn't come out I don't know when it comes out sometime next

year but I want to thank everybody who's watched the show I think season five is gonna be our best season we're going out with a bang I'm really sad really legit sad that it's over but I will tell you this what I am so proud of is that it's not gonna have like a dip which is the number one thing you want is you want to leave them wanting more and I hope you guys feel the same way about the show but I want to thank everybody the great Mike Price everybody over there Peter Billingsley Vince Vaughn all the Vaughns over there Victoria Valerie now I'm gonna have to name everybody and I'm gonna forget I'm one of these days I'm gonna like next year when we go to do this I'm gonna have I'll have the list of everybody and it's gonna be like an Oscar speech because there's so many

people I have to thank it was an incredible ride thank you to Netflix and GoMont everybody was just been just amazing to be able to get to do a show like that which was not even on the radar when I started in this business you know that you could do a show like that the only place you could do it you know it's funny and I used to go do it they used to have these I don't know they probably still do it but they used to have this film festival called the film festival called sick and twisted animation it's the first place I saw beef is in beef is in but but head and a couple and just they were playing frog baseball I think was I don't know so long ago Christ it was almost 30 years ago and I saw it in Boston I went in there it was really cool because it

was like I had grown up in such like a jock town which was awesome because I love sports and my town was big probably hockey was what the biggest thing football and hockey and and I love you know playing both those sports didn't really play him organized just sort of playing with my friends but and then to move on and to get into like stand-up and stuff and then meet all these artists who were into movies and shit I think it was one of them that told me about the animation festival so I started seeing like independent films and all of that was a really fun time in my life and I believe I went to all of that shit by myself because I was such a fucking lunatic I wasn't a lunatic I'd gone through some shit and I just liked being alone because you know it was peaceful

that makes any sense so anyways we got a we've done six shows here and I kind of blew up my voice a little bit because unfortunately there's a little bit a little bit of traffic noise you know we're in the middle of these skyscrapers it's a fucking killer venue though I'd love to see a band there but like but having a little I had a little trouble hearing myself and I made the mistake of like talking louder and I kind of figured that out at this that you know I started asking the crowd you guys having a good time and just their reaction like okay Bill they can hear you you just can't hear them because the laughs are kind of going up into the air as far as where we're at so last night I kind of just adjusted the way I was talking I think I actually had better

shows last night but I've been having so much fun I don't want to thank everybody who's been coming out to the shows so and tonight after I do two shows I will be at the halfway point I wasn't even thinking when my agent was booking these I was just so goddamn excited to come out here and do stand up because you know I miss it you know and I'm just like I got past all the the big work I had this year you know getting through that gig in New York the pressure of that and getting through had a right of episode episode family getting through that I'm kind of on the other side of everything and so my agent was booking this tour and I just kept adding days and adding shows and this is taking me back I remember I did a run of shows at the Wilbur Theatre in Boston like

19 shows I think it was and I remember I blew my voice out on the third show and I was like oh fuck and I was doing two shows a night and except one night I only did one because one of Sykes was doing the early one I want to say I think she did the early one on a Saturday night right so I I remember I was so tired and my voice was so shot I was doing this bit about a plane crash and the bodies hanging from the trees I know it sounds fucked up whatever so I was like just bent over at the waist almost like that yoga pose right we just sort of grab your elbows bent over the waist stretching your hammies and I remember I would I do that bit I was imitating the body hanging from like a tree branch I can't remember what the joke was right so that in that every show

that joke while the crowd was laughing and I was hanging like that that was for me that was my little break in the show where I would just be laying there I would be you know act like I was dangling from a tree and it was a nice stretch for the hammies and I would always hold it for an extra second or two and be like ah little I had this storm before I go back into this shit and try to get through this and um but it was fun though it was fun and it's amazing that people still come out to see me so I'm psyched for all of that the only thing that does stink is I really miss my wife and my kids but thank god for FaceTime and all of that um you know I've been talking to my son and his face lights up when he sees me and he hears my voice and I still you know I was really

sad because I've seen him every single day of his very young life and these were the first days I wasn't gonna be there with him hug him and kiss him and try to make him laugh and all of that stuff but uh what's been cool is I've kept my streak I've made him smile since he's been smiling I've made him smile every every single day so I'm very proud of that and um I don't know that I was telling you that Wolfgang Van Halen song which by the way he's got another one man I posted it on my Instagram stories dude fucking the riff is killer fucking killer and I thought it was like I thought the song was in seven but um it was funny I gave it to my drum teacher I go I'm gonna figure out this time signature and he's like all right and I was like uh is it in seven and he goes don't over

think it and then I just wrote that means it's in four lol so it was um but anyway I got so much out of that video that he posted you know through the years showing him growing up with uh how great his dad Eddie was and in the end that voice message I swear to god I was like dude that is the goal right there you know if if you're a new dad or if you're just a dad I highly recommend watching that video and seeing how it's done and also just it was such a great video too to see this other side of this guy that I just knew was a guitar guard to be like wow man this guy understood music guitar piano you know just understood he understood being a dad at like the same level which is crazy so it makes me enjoy his music even more then I'm also psyched uh some of the

stuff I'm listening from Wolfgang he doesn't sound anything like his dad which is an incredible accomplishment he doesn't sound anything like his dad and from what I'm hearing his music is the shit so I'm kind of excited I think he's got an album coming out or something so I'll be definitely downloading that um all right I gotta do some advertising when I after the advertising I'm gonna talk to you about my ultimate car collection which is really just a bunch of trucks because I am a truck guy it's what I've realized over the years and uh and if you're a truck guy you want to be in fucking Texas because everybody has one um which is really cool to me all right zen desk everybody um customer service is everywhere buying stuff online calling your bank using an app

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stand-up comedy people usually ask really good questions um all right here's my five and then i'm going to breakfast here uh i would have what i already have a 68 ford f 100 short bed three on the tree i love that truck i smile every time i see it every time i get in it the sound of the door closing starting it up i absolutely love it all right then as mentioned i would have a two-tone 1986 full-size ford bronco xlt larry i wouldn't get the eddie bower because they always just do the green with the tan top which i respect but i like the blue and white one then i would get a 67 catalac eldorado in that that fucking whatever they call it the uh something mist i forget what it is it looks almost like an overcast sky it's fucking gorgeous and

then the latest one that i'm adding is i get a 1983 ford f 150 four by four short bed um some sort of two tone i'll post that video to us this guy fucking redid one or lady i don't know who did it absolutely beautiful he had it was uh that ford wimbledon white and then he had like a little bit of black trim and i just love the front end on those four trucks from 80 to 86 that was the first truck that i truly fell in love with other than when i was a little kid when uh the milk man it's how old i am there was a milk man there was a man and he delivered milk and he was called the milk man there was the milk man there was the diaper man you know it's all changed now now you know they always the they now they have like i don't know what the fuck they have the fucking

heating lamp guy um and he used to come in in this old milk truck and it had the same front end it was a four that had the same front end as my f 100 that i have that's it that's my little dream garage that uh oh and then i also gotta tell you i would also like 80 to 86 full size um the full bed f 250 in green when i was a kid there was a uh somebody at high school used to drive his fucking dad's f 250 every once a while he'd drive it to school i remember one day he came to school after he'd gone muddin and the truck was all muddy except for the windshield where the wipers were and i thought it was the coolest fucking thing i'd ever seen if for whatever reason i never forgot that and i've loved four trucks ever since then all right that's it that's my dream garage and

you know it's a little bit different oh you know what else i would have i'd have a harley um not the road king the one that doesn't have the bags on the side with white wall tires in black that would be it oh and a ducati see it never ends it never fucking ends all right that's it that's my my two motorcycles um and i would have sort of the i wouldn't have that one that when people you know try to ride a motorcycle around the world i wouldn't have that big one way up high i'd have whatever the one that's sort of the cruising one where i wouldn't fly off the back all right that's it i have a great weekend you can send i'll talk to you on monday hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's

the monday morning podcast for monday december 3rd 2012 and uh how are you this is going to be as promised last week and promised all over twitter that i would have a special guest this week stand up and rose bowl legend the one and only the guy whose name i would never mention on the podcast after our first experience at the rose bowl and here he is the statue of limitations have run out ladies and gentlemen mr joe bartnick oh man thanks bill he's sitting there holding that coffin uh well i know i should have just coughed into the this is uh this is fun uh finally absolutely after all the uh rose bowls and uh dude the rose bowls i mean you've given me probably the two greatest thrills of my

adult life one obviously setting me up in my first six seconds on the ice with a goal or setting up the experience and then then the rose bowl when we were playing pick up hockey pick up hockey and you're gliding around there like the great white shark i got you out in front i i mean to step on the ice tap my stick rocky wood tool hits me in the slot i go top shelf i should have just quit then why i end up you why i spent 500 bucks on the equipment and only played once at well i played like 10 times with like no pads ian bag finally gave me a helmet then i bought all the stuff i played once after that but it was you were getting scary joe joe's like me he's one of those guys who's watched hockey

for a good 35 years but never played we just didn't come from hockey family so we both figured we'd take up the game in our 40s and we we both look like make-a-wish kids when we were out there dude the look on your face when you scored you scored the goal and you just put your arms up and you just left them up and you said you had this big grin on your face and i saw it in your eyes you're like this is what it feels like this you would have thought you scored one at the nhl level as opposed to i i felt like it's nhl level because i'll tell you i was scared when i first got there if you guys know ian bag he's like six five he's big he's on skates i'm like warm canada and that he can fuck it like

i heard you skated with the canucks and they did he played junior hockey yeah so i'm walking into the rink with just literally like my street hockey stick and those than the rented skates yeah am i right and i walked in and i see him skating around i didn't recognize him i'm like holy shit what did i get into yeah and then to step in to do that and i scored another one real quick so i'm like i'm looking for the i'm looking for the natural hat trick pure hat trick in 10 seconds and after that then bag because there's no hit league unless you can't stop right like me so the bag's like you're not gonna get a hat trick and then because i love bag and he loves me he just started cross checking me in the

crease and then that was i never got another thing i touched another park but like i said back when that that pick up game is still fun but that was that was hilarious like the bad news bears it was like everybody out there was a different level so you could tell like how good somebody was by how much equipment they had and how new or how old it was you went out there you had that fucking pittsburgh penguins with no shield mass that's all i remember and you kept playing dude and you were getting scary because you're like fucking cam nearly size so that's what everybody was kind of saying was like if that fucking guy ever learns how to skate and doesn't learn how to stop like he can't someone's gonna

get fucking killed well that's why i quit playing roller hockey i played roller hockey in san francisco for a season and like ten like eighth game in i couldn't stop on roller skates either and i just absolutely buried some kid about your size but not really athletic like you and you don't have to make it nice yeah my son no no no like you're you're like you know you've been climbing your rope and stuff i mean you're you're not like this was a little i'm trying to be actor in shape and i just i buried him like when kevin stevens had to buy a new face after the islanders like that's how hard i buried him and i'm like you know what i'm not here to hurt people purposely i mean it's it's time to give that

you got a good heart i do i do have a good heart i really do one of those guys if you played in the nhl you'd be that guy you'd fucking knock the dude down and the dudes land on the ice you'd cock the arm back and then you'd be like no no that's enough he's not enough and i would have a good dance though after i won the fight i do a nice hogan i'm sure it had one of those where i would have been in the stands once well i hope everyone has a good like either junior a or in europe some every good goon has been in the stands once like someone would say something about malkin and like you know some some mafia heroine den in that you know uh magnet aghorsed and i'd be up there swinging away protecting

his mom's honor like that you know did you uh have you watched uh fuck was i just think might i have like ad d you just brought up something oh i know for fans you know because you know hockey's like the rogue sport for fans uh who don't know what joe's talking about well i'm gonna i'm gonna have a link up to that that classic one where the bruins went up into the stands at the uh madison square garden and mike millbury who now does like commentating wearing a suit you actually watch him he takes this guy's loafer off loafers were big in the uh the 70 speaking of which you actually still have him because you're old school he took him off he never hit the guy he cocked it back he was gonna hit him

with the heel of it and it was uh it's it's just something that can't be described so you have to you got to see it these these loafers are my guilty pleasure and everybody remarks on them now because i've passed into the age where now i wear loafers and don't give a fuck like i i went to ross to buy some i always buy by tensions at ross because why not buy air jordan's that were 140 for 29 bucks like i don't need the new don't all like giant guys like you go to those kinds of places like when i go to like like ross uh for people on the east coast what is it ross uh dressed for less shit for less whatever the fuck you call it you walk in there they actually have shack size shoes in there for that six foot

eight guy who couldn't dunk yeah and like neon green and purple they're all crazy shit you get when your house gets flooded you get like those fucking giant sneakers that are like neon green yeah apps are fucking lootily so dude i gotta tell you speaking of the fucking rose bowl the granddaddy of them all i got uh i went out and i got the tickets you know every year that's my job i go out i get the tickets and then i rent the fucking four door fucking dodge ramp pick up to drive over there doing i'm actually uh i just completely checked out of christmas shopping and all that other shit all i'm doing is thinking about that what do you think about fucking with wisconsin's in it again uh yeah you know we couldn't we

couldn't it's gonna be an ugly game it's gonna be ugly in the parking lot no i mean there's some nice wisconsin people i wish i and nebraska i like them corn husker girls you've ever played in the bratton the brass face lawhead said like he was rooting for nebraska yesterday because he said we so we can look at different fat chicks this year yeah but nebraska's are a little bit they're like younger a little healthier like they're kind of like this like the playboy centerfold kind of chicks the the brass with corn husker girls well you know something a lot of time uh when they get them they get them from that sort of the uh oklahoma and nebraska right the bigger loss though was ucla because stanford has nice looking girls but they're really smart

they're not the type of girls that like hey let's get her let's take our tops off at 8 a.m like that's the ucla girl last year that girl last year with the the fucking uh was it tequila with the pickle juice the dirty mexican oh my god is that what they call that drink they did yes they did oh yeah oh the dirty sanchez dirty sanchez i actually walked around with dirty mexican the leaf blower that's what they call that dream the leaf blower there you go we actually walk i actually went to like five different people's houses with tequila and pickle juice trying to explain them and everybody thought i was like you've lost your mind bardic i'm like yeah i mean obviously i did 30 years ago but here's the this is great pickle juice it's it's cost

affected everybody if you're saving money over the holidays because you can get the most rot gut tequila in the world it tastes good if you chug pickle juice with afterwards if you chase it because i hate i hate tequila dude that's always not like i ever drank annie freeze but if i ever did i always it tastes like some sort of cleaner it's really fucking there's the amount of people too who really like uh just slammed that shit i had somebody a long time ago one of one of work for one of my managers that i had back in the day and he he fucking drank tequila and he drank he drank that shit like you know like we drink crown of royal like it was nothing no i'd like i to this day dude as much as a fucking booze bag as i am if you give me a shot at tequila i will make a face

like i'm in seventh grade i just can't get that shit down oh remember that girl actually she had the fucking overalls yeah i remember that ass and the fucking half shirt yeah i remember all of it yeah she was good i remember that that was before it got a little blurry well that i in the chronological history of the rose ball uh first one ever the epic the the granddaddy of them all the one it's it's like every great empire starts with a big crime like that was the crime against she made that was just the greatest that was probably my funnest time as an adult ever that there's wait and why was that because i feel like we get just as drunk every year but that there was just something about i think because it was all new yeah no but everything worked out we walked in

there completely fucked hammered i remember i bought that that 50 year old guy a program because he thought it was too expensive and i was like let me get two you like that i go you know you're looking at you're looking at a big shot you're not gonna see a lot he's talking like a fucking idiot we're smoking those cubans and we we got in and somehow you still had your Cuban cigar i i you could you have your ticket around your neck i have i think you bought the uh the super duper ticket holder and i'm a nerd i try to say it was so many people squishing in that they weren't even looking at me that i was still smoking a Cuban cigar there's nothing about eating a steak drinking a bottle of crown smoking a Cuban cigar that makes you feel empowered to do anything

and a lot of people listen is thinking that you mean he means splitting a bottle every year joe shows up with two bottles of crown one for us and one for him and dude i heard jimmy page you know that picture that he takes where he he puts the the jack daniel's back like that i already just stuck his tongue in the in the hole that just it was just like a photo-op thing you actually down the whole foot oh that's considered a fifth that's terrible yeah it's well it's the regular size crown but that's terrible to know i didn't want to know that well he made it up with the fucking uh the heroin abuse oh i'm just repeating something from somebody in a bar who allegedly met fucking somebody well let me tell you something

mister in a bar if you're gonna talk shit on jimmy page i just make sure it's true because that's something that's all i do though that's not a rumor that should be like you know jimmy page he's not really drinking that's like jimmy page is jack daniel's is really iced tea it's like when you find out when dean martin like like no dean was drunk most of the time just when he was already gone like the producer like let's put a little let's water this one down yeah because now people want to revisionist history like oh dean was drinking iced tea like yeah and the hookers were fake like give me a break like these guys were partying their asses off and they could they had a good buzz going look you gotta know me most of my shit is just stuff that i just repeat

shit that somebody tells me and then that's it that's i don't research no but we do drink a lot but i i had in liehead though liehead is is the cook liehead's looking at a barbecue brisket or some shit game game game to i'd say the other thing too just the plane's coming over when you're when you are bombed there is nothing better than to uh to like f16 flying right over your head that you're not expecting i mean that was just like yeah uh i also think those who like too like historic teams too it's like we went the first year and it was usc versus penn state and penn state gained six total yards in that game and i celebrated it like they won 40 to nothing well that's because you yelled at that fucking conter was sitting in front of oh she got mad at you with

the cigar yeah yeah the funny thing was was i mean i might sit around the penn state my sat's i could have taken them six times i wouldn't have gotten the penn state if you added them all together but we know i got like a 390 or a 407 combined and i took a prep course too but we were like actually the day i was going to take the sat's i uh the night before my uh a friend of mine's like hey come help me collect some money so i didn't get a good night's sleep before i took my test oh that's right back in the day when you were in pittsburgh yeah back in the day yeah we want to tell them those stories but that's that's my essay that's why i didn't do too good on the sat's you don't yeah is it those that that's stuff about uh collecting money back in the day when you

were you were the uh the fucking dude they brought around the enforcer that you don't get into that stuff ever huh no it was just fun it's just it was just for beer money oh that's what i was talking about you know something that's why that guy that one year the first year the wife of that lady after she gave you shit she said something about your nose and then you said you need to lose about 20 pounds before you talk to me bitch and then she turned to her husband and he turned around took one look at you and then started john at me you know i said like 40 you always say 20 i said like 40 though she was a big ugly woman the thing was i'm a nice guy bill and i and if you just would have said hey can you please put that cigar out i always said oh my oh my god i actually i

snuck this in i'm i'm sorry i didn't sneak it in i just forgot i was smoking it i'm like uh sorry i'll put it out you had it chomped in your mouth like you were a general surveying your conquered land it was like i was it's like i was uh it's like i was a boxing aficionado from the 1920s yeah it was and she said she came out of the gate and then i was just like well that's uncalled for and that's what i said you need to lose about 40 pounds to talk to me and then i thought we were getting kicked out but in defense of her though like we were so you do realize how fucking ridiculous it was well first of all i fell on that fucking old lady sort of fell into her yes and nobody helped me up i had to push off her and i felt folded her

in half and then you got to the seat and then you had the fucking cigar so already we were kind of a spectacle we have to have a little bit of empathy here to paint the picture of where we were at though too and if you ever see a college football game where you see the stands and it's like oh my god there's a hundred thousand people wearing red or orange or green yeah yeah there was literally 50 000 people wearing usc colors and just a speck of me and bill just wearing like neutral nothing yeah but they knew we were for penn state immediate once that lady started yelling at me obviously i mean i'm not a usc fan anyway so i uh but i i did like to usc because the girls were so hot and then we met a guy that was such a usc fan he literally had the the trojan outfit

and let us put on the trojan helmet and that's the beauty of the rosebowl i think that makes it so much fun as a it's 80 degrees outside everywhere else the weather sucks and the teams are so happy to be there there's nothing really on the line no i mean other than you know your own bedding purposes so everyone's just happy to be partying it's not like in your in your in pittsburgh and i mean like some of the best tailgates or green bag or any other city where it rules there's tension in the air yeah and it's 20 degrees outside this is like it's sunny everyone's happy to be there throwing the ball around it's just it's the way it should be you know you told me something the other day that was because you know you know i'm a big like maniac as far as going around to different

stadiums and all that like i love all of them and i got a chance to go to three rivers before they knocked it down i saw didn't see a stealers i saw a pirates game then when they honored willy star jill literally like two weeks before he died oh pops yeah we are and i remember it was a cubs game and i was sitting down the right field line and sammy sosa was still playing and uh but you were saying your dad has had season tickets since the stadium that they played in before three rivers which was what i always forget yeah my dad has had tickets since forbs field forbs and then they went to pit stadium or something for a couple years i may have this reversed but he's had them like in both of those places then they went to three rivers and my dad sat exactly on the 50

four rows from the top four rows four rows from the top and he sat there and he he watched them go from sucking i mean you guys were the absolute you know you're one of the original nfl teams and you were a doormat for the good what 30 40 years it's finally come back to where now we're like better than we suck like like i was born in 1969 that's the year they drafted joe green i'm 43 for the first 40 years they didn't win like four games anything now we finally now it's like we've been better than than than we've been then we sucked which was like when i was in super bowl era yeah because when i was like five or six my dad would take me to games that's when it was all steel workers so you went there and you saw lambert ham i saw every i saw the game where

bradshaw spun in the ice playoff games yeah i mean the greatest thing was we were our our side was the stealer that was on the cover of sports illustrated i think yeah our side was on the stealer bench so the greatest thrill ever is and is the stealers would kick off and then this then okay the other team would have the ball one two three and out and then the stealers come off to our side and then it's like watching the hollow fame induction committee come off i mean that's the stealers and the how many of them may of that there's 11 guys on defense like six of them maybe uh well four four four on defense and uh sure dude lc greenwood lc's not in yet he isn't no it's mean joe lambert ham and mel blunt and then it's on the offense it's webster swan stalwart

bradshaw franco and of course the emperor treck no and they used to be so that's that's nine nine out of your 22 that's almost half the guys on your fucking of your starting team made the fucking hollow on a football team well the thing was is in for years they wouldn't put swan or stalwart in and it used to be the old manager of the punchline jim cornet knew at like five in the morning when i'm a bottle of crown in you want to get me to argue for an hour just say i don't think lynn swan should be in the hollow fame that that was obvious it's almost like now i can die in peace like the ranger fan you know what that's like that was the first time we brought up uh you and i discussed all samuelson and camille and you like yeah i mean you know i didn't think off was that

better guy i was like you guys and you what's funny about you is you just don't ever lose your cool you just sit there and just be like hey yeah you know which was making me fucking matter and matter i remember we were over fucking jimmy doors and jimmy was killing everybody playing ping pong taking in between jimmy was fucking talking shit to me it is just i'm just returning the ball bill what's all i'm doing i'm just returning the ball and he put all this fucking spin on it i get my ass kicked over there the democrats must have been losing that year don't play door when the republicans are in the white house we'll take it out on you exactly so we got in that epic fight but you know i'm trying to think so the first like nfl game you went to you he brought

you there when you like what four five years old yes there was like 10 10 no women no women ever in like just 10 boys that were lucky enough to have i went with my dad and my grandpa and that was the original curtain the original everything so wait a minute now can you remember did you ever see oj simpson i mean it's a frank no no i want to hear some of the guys you saw because my first game i went to was like i'm the 80s i saw the guys like dan marino i saw jim zorn i saw guys from like leftover 70 guys and all the 80 guys when i when i would go to the patris but like 70s guys that's when i collected football cards that's when they were like gods to me so can you remember anybody uh any but you saw url campbell then oh yeah i saw url campbell to me

still the greatest running back i've ever seen because he's the only guy that i was when i was a kid i was ever afraid of like when i was a kid the stealers were like the globetrotters like they never lost like i when they lost in 77 to the orange crush in denver in mean joe my favorite stealer obviously he punched the guy in the stomach and got thrown out it ruined christmas like i still believed in santa claus but the stealers losing and mean joe getting tossed out it was like christmas was ruined that was such a fucked up year that was a year with craig morten and those guys right uh yeah that's next week they beat the raiders yes john madden yeah madden and then and then they got crushed by the cowboys which is such a joke oh the team this the team that decade

whatever you'd never beat anybody for real when it ever really mattered dalis they would never call the team they were called america's team america's team yeah that's like well the america's team means is that you have fans in every city it doesn't mean that you're the best team well people take that the wrong way well for years though it's like they always revisionist you know this and that you know and it's like lin swan always says the game gives you moments right it's what you do with those moments yeah and jackie smith you dropped the ball you must be the sickest man in america yes you are bless his heart he's got to be the sickest man in america i gotta put that clip up there too that was like dude i gotta tell you something though

when i went over to uh uh stockholm uh sweden and i was totally jet lag some fucking stealer fan put all four of the stealers super bowls in their entirety i don't know if they're still up on youtube it was the fucking shit and i gotta tell you something about the dalis cowboys 1976 they had you guys beat they played marty ball in the set they started the game with the fucking reverse on the kickoff to fucking uh hollywood henderson he runs up the sideline roi giarella knocked knocked him out of bounds he took a knee to the ribs he missed like three field goals because of that fucking play and tom landry got all fucking conservative and shut his offense down no ensued the kickoff and let it in the hands of his defense

i really like i mean yeah like those games really to me those were like the like the best super bowl i ever saw is just as far as two powerhouse teams was that 79 one the the stealers versus the cowboys and the two the worst uh uh matchups two of the worst matchups that were almost great fucking super bowls was if the fucking raiders beat the stupid orange crush that year they were defending super bowl champions and they would have gone up against the dalis cowboys with a rookie tony dorsett now how much fucking better that can instead of stupid 27 to 10 game and then in 85 when my stupid patriots we beat the fucking miami dolphins the miami the only reason why the bears didn't go undefeated was because the

damarino beat him on monday night football beat the 46 defense they were 15 and fucking won it would have been the rematch damarino defended the undefeated dolphins that super bowl would have happened but the stupid fucking patriots we went into the orange bowl won for the first time in like 20 years and then we go in there and just we got right i think we got raped we literally got raped and i hate that i hate that uh shit on the pittsburgh guy who i love but he he should have let patin get the touchdown that was a disgrace when he gave the fridge the ball really yeah you're gonna get they're gonna give the fridge the ball because the fridge is the fridge because they got big because they got caught up in that super bowl as opposed to like walter

patin walter patin who was playing on like two and 14 teams or two and 12 teams when he started because they didn't have 14 when everyone still ran the ball like the sec when football was about what was a man's game and it's not like let's spread everybody out and get a pass interference oh can we talk about that i gotta i gotta read some advertising here real quick but we gotta uh we gotta talk about that because uh i know you are definitely on the same page as me when it comes to uh this pass interference shit so let's get the advertising out of the way here everybody stamps dot com you know the deal i read this every week uh you sick of going to the post office would you like to have the post office in your house if any time of the year you're gonna sign up

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then i kick a percentage of that over to the uh the wounded warriors project so you support this podcast and you support the troops can you do any better than that i don't think so and once again for this holiday season we have the wonderful man great system what is the man great you ask they are 100 made in america cast iron grilling grates that are revolutionizing the way people grill basically when you buy a grill um they usually give you you know they give you grilling grates they have those little skinny grates on them and you can't get those great marks that you see at the steakhouse this just basically upgrades your grill it's like ripping out the four cylinder you have in your car and slamming a 454 in there that's basically what it is um they got

that nice thick grilling grates uh it's named one of 2012's best grilling accessories by men's health magazine man great so the perfect gift this holiday season click on the man great banner on the podcast page of billbird.com for their 1999 holiday special 20 bucks you're in and you're out there you go dad thanks for raising me i love you son um remember each monday morning podcast order comes with a heavy-duty grilling brush good lord they actually gave me one of these they're awesome i swear even the apocalypse comes down you can melt this thing down and get your 20 bucks back or at least slam a zombie over the head with it and they're going to give you a brush you're out of your mind not to do this again that's the man great grills enhancement system ordered today on

the podcast page of billbird.com okay all right back with the legendary joe bartnack before we get into this aside from the fact you one of my great friends both in and out of this business we're here to actually promote joe bartnack has a new stand-up cd uh hour-long cd um that he's going to be releasing off of all things comedy our podcast network called salute um tell the uh tell the fine folks about it oh it's a it's a fun cd recorded live at the punchline san francisco it's about 50 minutes of bartnack classics uh it was so i can hopefully bury some of that material i've been lagging around i need some new stuff everyone's like we've heard that 10 times like well you keep coming back thanks uh but um actually buy it on amazon it comes out tuesday

help bill help the wounded warriors and don't go out in traffic i'll tell you what i was just in traffic yesterday go into a gig and i was like haven't people figured out amazon yet like you can just sit at home in your underwear it's like they have your your your they have your mastercard they have your sister's address you just go boom boom boom and that is it that's it it's amazing but yeah it's uh called salute like instead of cheers us italians go salute that's right and since i'm a big drinker and a lot of the jokes are about drinking in one way or the other um it's good first time i've ever heard salute was uh on some live old uh sanatra album i heard it was with him with the count basie orchestra and they brought out a drink somebody said something and he

said salute jinn done us i could almost some italian shit i don't know why and he laughed or whatever and it was just like it just seemed like even just in that moment on the record it just seemed like it was so much better that like uh i don't know it was just like if you went and saw frank it's not like somebody would take out a fucking iphone and then film it and then if you didn't make it you could see a clip of it it's just like you it was such a fucking everything was just such a fucking event that's why like you know why i'm sitting here being a total geek about listening to you going to those you went to nfl games in the 70s dude the 70s that was like the golden age of nfl football like the level of quarterbacks that were in the league

stabler bradshaw starback fran tarkington uh who else is some of the even even the shitty quarterbacks like ken anderson or bryan's site dan fouts not a shitty quarterback oh fouts is amazing but even like that even the back of dan pastorini yeah don't take past like like don strauch don strauch would be would be a playoff quarterback nowadays oh the way they fucking throw now yeah they don't even run for four yards so those those guys will throw for 300 yards and they're literally like you know 42 for 48 you're like oh my god the accuracy it's like no they're throwing four yard fucking passes you're not allowed to touch a wide receiver i mean think think of what swan would do now they couldn't touch them i mean they used to just try to abuse them every second

that the raiders like you know hit them in the head swan play with concussions every week it's or the melblanc rule which if you can somehow find this guy's footage on the on on on youtube of the 1976 superbowl melblanc just beats the shit out of golden richards the whole fucking game golden richards almost is crying in the end of it and he finally gets so fed up in the fourth quarter he punches melblanc back and melblanc just i think it was a forearm shiver or something to his ribs and uh golden's laying on the ground almost crying no flag and like the ref saw like the the fucking elbow and stuff it was it was just considered football it was a man's game it used to be football well it used to be football was like the 12 like the 10 guys in a bar you wouldn't

mess with those guys played football now it's like the 10 guys who when they were 15 started taking steroids and like they went through all the best schools they got recruited and they they did good in the combine and blah blah blah it's like because the guys have played the you don't you don't even see me i'm just bitching about the rules i still think that those guys are fucking the maniacs man i just think like the level of like like the money and there's so much at stake now that you can't just be going down to the bar drinking a 12 pack and then going out and playing your your high school football game friday night you know you really got to take it but i think i think in the 70s those those guys were way more outlaws they were the outlaws the steel

i mean like ernie holmes shot at a police helicopter and rooney brought a brought a bag of money up to cleveland like i let him off the hook like it was like that that type that wouldn't happen out now they should now they should have rate you have uh rachel nickles outside the outside the facility we don't know what's wrong with her i mean it's like i just read that big espn book that like thousand page book i'll give it to you um and it's all like behind the scenes it's like you know on any way you paint it i still hate susie colbert she despicably did not kiss i would kiss joe willy nameth on national tv like why would you disparage joe willy nameth it's like it's broadway joe everybody loves the ladies the poor man had to go to rehab he was embarrassed like

you couldn't know it was funny it was the second he started talking you knew he was hammered yeah he was just he just had that fucking i can't feel my nose glow look on his face but it's joe nameth he's allowed i know annie was back there with his friends you know what they were doing you know they were talking shit going come on guys you know if we were healthy we'd fucking kill this team you know they were having a good time and all of a sudden he's talking to some fucking lady and you know him he went back to the 70s he was back at the playboy mansion well she grabbed him joe come over here and she grabbed him was like what's he gonna do i really want to kiss you no i love joe i follow him on twitter he's the best i love like i just i

love joe he's the he's joe name that's that's one thing about pittsburgh too it's like you know and you hate when i go off it but you know john e you basically invented football no no no no i just i give you shit about the amount of times that you quote like i don't give a fuck what situation we could be in the middle of the desert like running out of water and you'd just be like well you know one time mike wagner said john stalwart to quote john stalwart my you're a fucking super fit man i can't my two favorite sports quotes or glint swan the game gives you moments my other one is actually i told it to john madden's face and he loved tell that story i will tell okay so we're out in a business park me and my buddy the captain out in like an hour west east of oakland which is

basically if you're not on the coast in california might as well be in texas right uh this is like this is actually where they shoot the sons of anarchy uh it's just the badlands of california anyway we're out there uh i'm probably dropping off a bag of weed to a friend of mine or something we were there around lunchtime and uh i was saying we see this massive force coming out of a diner and john's huge and he's wearing like a big winter coat because it gets cold there it's like 40 did you recognize madden immediately immediately and it would be like hey john so i'm going to go into captain like hey man like hitting them like look look look look look and all of a sudden so anyway we start walking and he's like oh my god so then so we're going hey mr madden or like hey hey what

was was he freaking out he's a big guy to be yeah and i mean the captain at noon in an office park it's like it's like in an office park we're getting you know what's what these guys want yeah so he starts walking really fast like i'm getting away from these guys i'm trying to go to his car yeah trying to get and he's like not fun with his keys but he's trying to hurt with his keys so then i so then so he's totally ignoring us just like maybe these guys will go away i'm gonna blow my rape whistle like get away right and then i just yell out my favorite quote actually which is he told his Super Bowl pregame speech was this will be the greatest day of your life only if you win so you yelled that i yelled that at him right then he turns around he goes oh hey fellas how you

doing and he showed us his Super Bowl ring we went over and shook his hand and then i'm like an autographed guy and right until like a year ago i wasn't even a picture guy right but you kind of have to do that now so i'm just like just a thrill and then literally we got in our car and just called the first thousand people we could talk like we just met man we just met man it was the greatest but i use that on myself for like big sets or big shows or big appearances or something is like oh that's what you used to to psych yourself yeah like this will be the greatest day of your life only if you kill only if you kill that's hilarious fucking late yeah i gotta admit like um i'm i'm fighting really hard not to become the uh the crabby old guy sitting there talking

about how the game used to be and i i think you know i understand they got to do what they got to you understand dude this there's future football they're gonna start with the linemen standing up so they don't slam their heads together well i what i understand is that you know what you want to live till you're 70 drive a bus you want to you want to have baby mamas and mansions and drive cars and be on yo m tv raps then you're gonna die when you're 50 and that's the way it is if you don't like it play in the cfl like i mean that's just that's just that's football see that's the thing bill that's what i grew up on i grew up on that that's it's just i still enjoy it hell i work for the nfl on fox it pays me i love i get the ticket i watch every game it's still good it's

still better than watching 98 percent of everything else but it's not the third one you got five wide receivers in the game well that's not football right i mean that's what i love about me it like you know like and all these tricks and like chuck know i'll quote chuck know again or for the you know like you can fool some of the people some of the time but in the end it comes down to blogging and tackling and that's football it's about lining up it's the oklahoma drill you know it's but then we would do two you quote steelers the way like a jesus free quotes like scripture well nfl films to me chuck know 360 to me if you grew up in pittsburgh if you're from pittsburgh in the 70s you can jerk off the super you can jerk off the nfl films it's that great

and in san francisco i was roommates with the greatest run in the super lab you guys won four and six years four and six it my my old roommate one of my old roommates who was a complete art guy and drew and he was sensitive he probably wrote poetry i don't know but he hated football but he just loved the cinematography of nfl films unreal i mean that's that's how great it's almost like it's almost like regular football if you just watch a game like whatever you're gonna watch whatever today it's not as good as watching the nfl films version of nf yeah nfl films i always forget the guy the voice of god oh john facenda yeah what the autumn wind is a raider oh yeah you know it was great you ever heard arty uh arty lang yeah yeah yeah oh all the time i i love

nick and arty that's the best when he quotes that oh yeah when i went in i did nick and arty show it's such a if you guys aren't listening to it you're out of out of your mind if you just want to listen to two people talking sports and even if you're not into sports you're just gonna love listening to it because it's just this just guys guys it's fucking great and i was sitting out uh waiting to go in and he went into his uh his impression of that the autumn wind is a raider i can't remember how the fuck it goes and he just did the whole poem and uh he fuck it's just his delivery because he's a fucking great actor too man you know i mean oh he's he's i mean i love arty like i mean arty lang his his football jokes on his uh

jack and coke special is the greatest when he when he rips on the eagles that's just the funniest thing ever i made kevin shea watch it i taped it i gotta see it's just funny to do a chunk on the eagles and his stand-up special yeah dude my buddy paul versey said one time he goes you know what's fucking weird is everybody watches sports for the most part we say everybody i mean the masses watch real men yeah but but no people who you're gonna talk to watch sports not that the guy with it i just love how we define anybody who's into our shit real guys guys that you like if you're wearing a hat just because you think it's cool uh and like you're trendy like you know i'm not gonna talk to you anyway like that's just how if you stand up like i like the guys who i would be drinking

with i don't like the guys who i wouldn't be drinking with and that's just the way it is now some guys are that's why i like hanging out with you because i need uh over the years i've gotten a little more fucking uh little some of your bartonic stuff is rubbed off on me because i'm one of those fucking i'm i'm like you know i'm a liberal i'm one of those empathetic people hey let me see the other side of this shit a lot of people wouldn't believe that listen to this podcast well that's like go ahead i'm sorry but i fucking uh you know and finally i've gotten to the point of i will actually now like if someone's a fucking dick i'll just be like all right that guy's a dick but it still won't stop me from trying to understand why they're a dick but you you're like you're just so fucking

efficient with that shit like i i know a couple guys like you in my life where it's just you're just real efficient you size somebody up and the second you think that they're a dick you like fuck that guy and you don't give a fuck about whoa maybe his dad left you don't give a fuck you just like fuck him i don't know i mean i feel bad for him if his dad though i feel bad well you know what i feel bad for people who lose their mothers because and just like the not to be tragic the kansas city thing that's what's sad is like some kid doesn't have a mother but uh that's the fucking i didn't want to get into it because it's just a sad topic but uh the uh no uh we're gonna talk about now uh oh sizing people up well i grew up in bars my grandfather owned and ran bars and uh

so every single minute what the fuck wasn't that the name of your special joe bartonik i grew up in bars if you somehow did a picture if you're sitting there on this stool i'm sorry i'm interrupting your great story go ahead no no no but that's so you know when you're when you're like four years old in pittsburgh in in like you know the 70s in bars you can size people up you you understand people's mojo in about a second if they're how old were you when they when you when you were getting brought into these bars oh like three four five six my grandfather always had three he was like norm he had a seat in every bar he'd go and people like hey harry everybody harry his name was dominik but he was like the original guy that would say dude because he couldn't remember a million people's

names so he would just go hey harry hey harry and he was totally bald that's why it's either games he was the genie because it robbed his head for good luck they actually robbed his head before the immaculate reception and that's that's a true story so he was always the genie after that to lift up this act if you'd say that you were at that game i'm walking i was not at the immaculate reception game no it was not my first live game was in 1976 actually it was that it was tampa bay versus the steelers they won 42 nothing in a blizzard no one sam huff the quarterback was doug williams there i don't remember i mean i was like six years old it was just a blizzard and everyone was mad that we went that's when my dad would go to every game the mac now if it's like raining and in early

october that's a little chilly outside i'm gonna stay home but before cuz he waited 40 years to see a winner right but just that's just how i said she was like and women too especially that an old girlfriend of mine was like she was like i love sarah whether her name was like sarah sarah is a great friend of mine she's my friend i'm like she's a con i'm like don't don't deal with her we broke up three years later this girl comes with me because you were so right about sarah she was such a bitch i'm like i told you i can just but other people and in hollywood or they were like they're they're nice to everybody because they worry oh what if that guy gets a tonight show and then you'll be like really who gives a shit like life's too short if he's a dick now he'll be

a dick then i don't really care like i'm friends with who i want to be friends with all right but i'm nice i'm pretty much nice to everybody though i'm just not their friends no no i would i would a hundred percent agree with that before we get too deep into the podcast if we're gonna talk football the whole time i mean i guess there's not a lot to talk about what about fucking hockey but uh and that was sad i've been kind of blaming the owners because it's been a lockout and they agreed to a deal but someone was giving me shit on twitter saying did you see this shit the players did now are you on you're still on the players side i hope not and i haven't really been paying attention last i paid attention they were down to like you know players were going from 57

percent to now to 53 i have three things to say about the hockey thing one is why doesn't just i know lemieux saved hockey three times but he's to come back again why is it lemieux shanahan holly and steve iserman just get in a room just say you know what we you know this is the fucking game here's the deal just play hockey and that's it but the two things i do want to say is like you know the other for like a month i'm like it's dark outside i need to be watching five games like i'm shaking then last week i just was like you know what i'm reading the book i don't i don't miss it and you know what nhl if i'm not missing it who the hell is going to be watching like carolina ottawa on fox four south to alternate you know i mean you're the one who got me back and i'm not

watching it who's who's who's coming back the really sad thing is my daughter for christmas got this doll that's like this super doll that you have to be nice to buy 80 dollar outfits for so my sister was like i'm gonna buy her a penguin outfit the lady in pittsburgh is like oh we're not making penguin outfits this year because of the strike i'll get her a stealer one so that's just how far down like everything is like hockey just gets lower and lower now because of the strike it's so stupid and they made more money than they ever made they had the they have the winter classic tune nhl hockey has not been on network television on nbc cbs or abc has not been on it the entire time i've watched it it was on in the 70s the worst time they could

have made the deal when it was just absolutely a fucking barroom brawl every um every game you know something this is the one thing the only thing i like just two things i like about the montreal canadiens being a a bruins fan one was when they booed patrick war and he said fuck you guys i'm never playing here again because that really fucked that franchise and then he goes to win two with the avalanche which were the nordiques so that could piss off canadian with the uh the the rey bork cup yeah yeah it was awful wait wait what do you think about that though um i actually i don't have a problem with it because let me get to the other thing what okay the other thing about that i love was when fucking uh larry robinson beat the

shit out of dave schultz to start the canadians run where he was just standing up to him was like all right buddy you want to play this fucking game no that's i mean you you know my i love that you know my hatred for the flyers runs oh it's it's legendary pittsburgh pittsburgh and philly they they're in the same state they that's hatfield and macaw yeah that's just that is that's the only rivalry pittsburgh has because people like one of the browns is like oh you're not rivalry with your doormat the ravens they're like new and who who cares i mean the flyers and the penguins we used to be o for nixon we're like o for watergate in the spectrum till like 88 i mean it's just i mean that's and then and their fans and their fans hated them you but then they actually cheered them

you when it came back for cancer they hate crossby a lot of fans hate crossby but they hate crossby and he crossby just sticks it to him yeah that's just the bad some people have do have a hateable face crossby has he has sort of a dany ang pouty face that's that unless he's your guy you're not gonna like it he's he's the best so it's like lebron people just they're getting there's haters no they're already exactly they're already gonna fucking hate him yeah but he means so much he's so much easier to hate because there's something about his face it'd be like elie manning would be so much more respected he would be at least considered at aron roger's level which i think he finally is after that second one but like it was his face his face he just doesn't look like you

know he doesn't have like that fucking uh everything's gonna be okay i'm banging the fucking captain of the cheerleaders fucking uh yeah in high school maybe hooked up with a teacher just that fucking you know that fucking five o'clock shadow the gun slinger he doesn't have that look luck has that look luck luck is a man i love the fact i am you know something i realized i uh because the fact that i actually like andrew luck and i actually like the colts now i actually realized that i never really even hated Peyton Manning i just hated that tom brady that wasn't getting the respect because now like i'm watching tom i'm watching Peyton Manning with uh the broncos and i'm rooting for him and i actually think the patriots dude i mean i don't

even know if we beat the dolphins at this point it was close but like i'd say we already beat broncos this year i we've we got a 50 50 chance of of of of losing fucking uh we play them in the playoffs because he's he's so gelled with that team now oh they're good the the broncos are good i mean anybody but i mean anybody but houston give me a break i'm saying houston houston i mean like give me do you really old school hatred of the oilers oh i know the houston oilers number one na na na houston i used to have this shirt that had the little iron on from the mall that had bum philips beaten on a door that said super bowl and jack lambert's in front of it just holding it back like like uh bum knocking on the super bowl door like they won't let them in oh dude if you

still had that that's fucking legend oh i the sweat rings would be right through it but uh no i mean i just used to certainly i mean like i mean the students are down here but i mean like i the thing about the a of c to me is like you always either go through pittsburgh or you got to go through the baltimore because unless you unless you can look james harrison and paula molly in the face and say we're going to super bowl or you can look uncle ray in the face right then you you haven't really beaten uh you haven't played man football and houston schwaab really schwaab is schwaab you think bill ballochek is gonna let schwaab go to the super bowl but the thing about the patriot so we we put up goddy num i feel like we're the patriots right now we like how the

cults were back in the day when when paint manning they would go 13 and 3 or 12 and 4 and then losing the first round we don't lose in the first round but like like we're not going to play the bills we're not going to play the jets in january so who gives a fuck that we put up 50 fucking points it inflates your stats and it makes everybody think that you're this juggernaut and the best thing our secondary has going for it is our running game because it can chew up the clock and keeps them off the field as long as possible because dude we fucking let up like 300 yards to that bum and fucking buffalo whatever the fuck his name is patrick yeah he's out there like he's fucking uh starback his contract is his contract is horrible his contract is like 10 years for all

this money yeah he's just not a good like even sprints is trying to end their contract with ryan that goes back to that ray bork thing where you're going to ask me like how i felt about it like you had to understand that that the the brun's fan base was so loyal it didn't matter that we weren't winning cups they were still going to sell it out and send it in those guys were just cheap fucks and they would never just make that extra move to get us over the top and ray stayed with us dude from 1979 to to june of 2000 and he went through i don't know how many rebuildings especially in the the 90s when we really started falling off he went through he he fuck what was he supposed to do he had one more year left there was no fucking way we were going to win it

and that was they they did him a solid they traded him to a contender and they still had to go out and win it the only thing i didn't like and i know his heart was in the right place but when he finally won the cup he brought the cup back to boston as like a show of hey man you know here's the stanley cup and it's just like i know his heart was in the right place but it was brutal it's like yeah here's this thing you haven't fucking won in 30 28 years at that point yeah 28 years but um but so i don't have i don't have a problem it was cool he went to denver too so it's like a new city it wasn't like he went to like oh i would say the flyers was like like he went to like the rangers or someone that's just like oh look you've hated him for 30 years now here's like i don't i don't

get mad at denver didn't even have a team like ray allen going to miami it doesn't bug me like people actually get like pissed like he was one of our guys it's like he wasn't he was he was a free agent he's he's jim calhoun's guy i don't you know who way more than me oh well i mean hoop is uh hoop is and it's so sad talk about the demise of the nfl the biggest demise is the demise of the big east why now huh big east college basketball we were supposed to talk about that oh that's about that yeah oh we we still can't it's the great i used to watch it all the time fucking georgetown chris mullen p i mean whatever people say pearl washington i read that book oh you know nascar and no you know what you know what invented espn was the big east because then

they had no stupid programming in the afternoon you didn't have like uh michelle billon in the afternoon talking let's see what collin coward thinks like who gives a shit what that guy thinks they they just ran big east basketball games again in the afternoon so when you're out all night in high school playing then you just stay home from school the next day and watch the big east all afternoon my grandma let me stay home from school all the time i just watched the big east it was the best you used to go to new york too and you go to new york to see the tournaments yeah absolutely so you saw youing and uh i saw i i saw i two years in a row i saw the patrick you in the year that they won the big east championship we actually saw them in leguardia

their whole team and my dad still pits this day because i became a nix fan because i love pat but youing didn't give me an autograph my dad won the sucker punch him he didn't give you an autograph though the whole team so bill martin who was the power forward back then gave me an autograph but these guys were huge and thompson was the biggest on the wall and thompson goes who wants lunch hornets remember hornets broadnacks he'd stack a hundred dollar bills like john goddy so ripping them off giving them the players jesus christ and then two seconds later andre the giant walk past and i swear to god uh i'm almost ready to call bullshit on the story size what i can call my dad except he's it he's like you know panicking over the colts over the uh balsamore i said colts

that's how old school i am i can't raven's that's fucking awesome yeah i you know he's already happened i interrupted it once again the war he's already half into a uh bottle of uh jay and beer or something whatever he's my dad's like he likes to mix it up i respect that he's you know he changed it up some days but he marries some he's never know he's there you go so go back to andre i always interrupt your great stories so no so uh so literally uh just right after that we walk up andre the giant walks back and honestly john thompson was bigger shoulder wise than him but he walks by this is how big he was he actually ducked at a sign in luardia no airport signs like she can see him from a mile yeah he's like six ten no he's like seven four who is andre the giant

oh i'm sorry i thought you were talking about oh no john thompson like so yeah he's backed up build muscle okay that's how he knows how to play center because he we work with andre the giant they had a thing in sports illustrated one time and they would they would just uh they talked about you know all the shit he he would do is a joke like he would like uh somebody's car he would like turn it around and face it make it facing the other way and they showed him like one night he allegedly drank drank like a hundred beers and they showed him when he holds a 12 ounce beer can in his hand like the top of the can is flush with like if you hold your hand sideways the way you would hold the beer like from the top of his hand to the bottom of his hand is the whole beer he

could fit a 12 ounce can in there it literally looked it wasn't even like a pony it looked like half a pony shot so it's just like yeah this is like him doing like three swallows he'd be done with it still 100 beers are still fucking respectful but uh he's one of the greatest biographies on a and e ever because right when he was gonna die at like four months left he just went back to his hometown and just played cards with all his friends until he died just like just bought like a cabin just like yeah come on over i got a kegger he's playing cards i think that's fucking on you know you know how bad i hope i go out like that i know because you know there's something to be said about dying peacefully like in your in your sleep and not realizing it but

there's also there is something if you've lived long enough and you've done you know had the kids you get you went after your dream you did all that stuff bend just whatever did did shit you wanted to do and was the most recognizable human being on the face of the earth that's so that's anything that andre accomplished in his wikipedia page it was that's unreal yeah he was like bigger than jordan like literally bigger than well i mean they still have those fucking stickers that obey things yeah see that's his face that they have all the way around there but i would love to go out like that and just be like when you're like fucking 85 and they just go all right you have three months to live and you're like cool and

enough of your friends are left that's the one thing dude if you live too long you're fucking outlive all your friends i just saw my grandmother god bless her she just uh she passed away just shy of her 105th birthday whoa dude she was on her third set of friend like generation it's like she outlived i mean it's just unbelievable i mean uh you know she played bridge kept her mind sharp and she had to just keep getting new friends she outlived my grandfather by fucking 25 years 25 fucking they were married for 62 years whoa i mean granted they they eloped when they were like you know 16 17 like way back in the day only way you could back then you were like i think we're gonna move in together for a while and see how it goes we're gonna get

the dog and then if we can do that then yeah yeah yeah no no they uh that's like you want to you want to do anything you better be married exactly that was exactly it yes so they they eloped but yeah so they made because i remember going to their 60th anniversary and that was like in the fucking 80s dude that was like 84 85 my grandfather passed in 87 and then she lived all the way to 2012 but that's the thing dude is you you actually you end up like you you outlive everybody somebody was telling me last night i'm working with todd rex who i gotta get on this podcast t rex todd rex is one of the funniest motherfuckers ever oh that's that story i told on this podcast you know he says hey what do you say to handsome you know he says that shit we uh we got pulled

over because his windows were too tinted or something this guy pulls us over we're on the 101 the guy you know the guy's talking on the cops talking on the loudspeaker he goes you know uh get off at the next exit and that got us onto the 110 now we're on we're on our way to the bray improv so now we're on the 110 we have to drive a quarter of a mile to get to the next fucking exit we get off we're literally like five miles away from where the fuck we were we pull off and for some reason he has to stop under the fucking overpass it was raining right so i don't know what we're underneath the thing and todd's been silly all week never seen any anger now for the first time seeing him like fucking angry right and this babyface cop comes

walking up and he does todd doesn't give a fuck puts the window down as the cop comes walking up licensed it right he goes hey what do you say to handsome dude we just start fucking bursting out laughing and the cop stood there and he kind of looked i guess he watched comedy central so he recognized someone in the car and then he recognized todd and then he literally got on his fucking heels like oh shit you guys are comics and we just started laughing and he actually let us go you know i don't want to tell too much more because he ended up being like a really good shit about it i don't get the guy in trouble and uh you know um but whatever i'm working with you didn't find a heroin in the truck is what you're saying no i'm saying maybe a few weeks later somebody

you know had a fucking moving violation and maybe he did something to make it go away he was a good shit oh right on well there's uh nothing like good cops well thank god he was a good guy because even if the guy was like a fucking old school i'm going to shoot you and plant a gun on you taught t-rex still would have said the same shit well those say they had some that's the problem in los angeles all in the west coast San Francisco's got some old school city cops and they're cool but and they let me off the hook on a couple duis but i mean like old pisspur cops were the best for duis just like yeah go home like you all right go get out of here i mean there's not black or white old school city cops are the best because they don't give a shit they've dealt with everything

so he's like the young like straight out of the academy we're in desert storm republican kids or need a collar or or or the broads they're the worst cops but the old school men they don't give a shit they're over i mean i mean the worst was one time i just we just did the party in our ass off new york city i'm coming back out of new york on like interstate 80 or 280 whatever going through jersey to get to pennsylvania and um you know when you're just in that morning the sun comes up and you're still just gagged and just like drunken right it's like 10 lanes of traffic i didn't know i was actually in the 11th lane in the middle like i know i wasn't paying i didn't know and i'm like why is this cop just sitting it stopped in the middle of freeway here it was the center lane

what were you in like the breakdown yeah like i was in the middle like whatever like right next to the wall you mean like the medium yeah the median strip lane yeah the that lane so it's not grass it is paved but no it's paved yeah i'm thinking like what's that cop doing sitting there so then i pull over and i'm like i swerve out of the way as he drives right pulls me over pulls me over and at the time my car my window didn't work so i had so like i went to open the door to get the if i kicked it in there's there was like i think when i trade the car in the boot print of the new jersey state trooper was still in the car here it was his first monday back he'd been hit by a drunk driver he was out eight months oh no but it was so early in the morning on a monday morning in russia he just

couldn't believe that i was drunk yeah so yeah he he's just like what's wrong with you and i'm like oh i didn't see it says you know i'm gonna strung out and he's like or whatever i said he's like oh you didn't know and i luckily had the pencil thing nothing like out of state plates like i'm the asshole yeah they don't have this stuff in our state yeah i really i didn't know you couldn't drive on the fucking medium strip yeah Pennsylvania that's legal we only got three lanes you're like a big city officer i don't really know but that's that's why i don't drink and drive ever anymore because i've been pulled i got literally got off that's why not because you don't want to kill somebody it's because you don't want to well i mean i don't want to waste 10 grand

that should be the thing how much did that last shot cost me 10 grand i mean obviously i don't want to hurt anybody but i got busted for that shit in 89 december of 89 it was it was a dude it was a layup it was a layup i was so fucking drunk i couldn't even get my shit i wasn't even nervous that's how drunk i was i was like ah you got me but that's that's that's stumbled through the i blew a one nine that's the problem now that's the problem nowadays though it's like hey you know if you're that fucked up and like i like i said i was like five or six times out of my mind and then each time i left the hook that's why i was like you know what that's it i can't do it all right did you ever get busted for it or no no i was always i always like knew the cop or my boss knew

the cop was always in pissberg in pissberg it was five times legitimately like just off the hook like ah yay i know you or my my my friend friend you know one time i was i was coming home from a christmas party i was working in this warehouse we were underage and me and this other guy sarge was his nickname we got we got absolutely fucking hammered and we were driving his mother's like Pontiac grandam you remember those things yeah in the 80s what they look like with that plastic shit they're like they're like the Chevy celebrity yeah except for Pontiac yeah by Pontiac exactly so we were driving right through the center of town and uh there was this jeep sitting at the old school cj7 when they made him like out of fucking steel and the guys stopped at the red light

i got a beer between my legs you know drinking and the other guys fucking he's we're hammered we both see it we see it he starts to slow down he just didn't press the brakes hard enough but we just sort of oh bam slammed into it right and this shit had all like the brand new safety on it so the engine fucking drops down under the fucking that just the whole thing just crumpled up i've slammed my head off the visor beer just goes all over me covered in fucking beer we're right in the center of town in my hometown fucking cops are there like and it was so funny the whole the fucking grandam was totaled there was like just a scratch on the back bumper the cj7 like i don't even think the fucking guy like he barely noticed who was sitting in the jeep he got out right cops are

there in like fucking two seconds they show i'm literally covered in beer and the cop you know standing there he goes you guys been drinking like no no i haven't been drinking at all right dude fucking beer shower so we stand down he goes yeah he goes his car reeks the alcohol get out of the car we're like fine so i'm standing there on the sidewalk on the other side of the jeep with this dude sarge covered in fucking i'm i'm i'm so drenched in beer i'm actually cold because it's like fucking like 30 degrees out i'm soaking wet and i'm sitting there like and i already been through i know i hadn't been through my shit yet i hadn't got arrested yet so i for drinking or driving so i'm sitting there talking to sarge and i'm just going dude i'll give a fuck if they arrest you

i'll go to court i'll lie under oath i don't give a fuck i'll say you weren't drinking i got you back i'm fucking alive for you i said all this shit and then when i was done i turned and faced the street and there was a cop sitting in the cruiser staring right at me i when i thought heard the whole thing to this day i can't we he didn't get fucking arrested yeah he didn't get fucking i don't know what happened i have no fucking idea i had the empty beer there was beer all over the windshield all over me somehow we got out of it he didn't get he didn't get busted i remember my dad picked me up and at that point i was smart enough to shut the fuck up and he picked me up dude i mean i'm like swaying in the wind the cars smashed and i get in the car just covered in beer and he's just

like uh are you doing you all right i was just like yeah yeah i'm good i'm good i didn't say shit i think he wasn't mad at me because i wasn't driving and we just fucking drove home but yeah but that was the 80s everybody that's that's what happened yeah it was right before the it dads are so cool about that stuff in general it's like oh it wasn't it wasn't my car it wasn't like yeah shit happens like who like what dad hasn't been the passenger in a drunk driving incident no my dad my dad was in the navy and he was in a frat so he has and he did that shit in the 60s so i remember when i finally got busted for drinking and driving uh my dad was totally cool my mother was upset and that that was their dynamic like little shit my dad flipped out like guys get up

there fucking clean up your room but big shit you got arrested for drinking and driving he was just like you're all right all right cool we'll fucking blah blah blah my mother was the opposite she let the little shit go and then the big stuff i just remember to do it out on my dad woke me up like they bailed me out of fucking jail and uh take i'm still fucking hammered they fucking takes me home by the time i get home it's like fucking maybe like four in the morning i go to sleep my dad wakes me up at seven in the morning all right three fucking hours later i am like still just ham i'm still going up yeah that's how drunk i was and he goes i think you go downstairs and uh tell your mother what you did you know that old school shit so i fucking stumbled downstairs

my mother already knows hammered out of my mind like i got arrested for uh drinking and driving and she had this fucking look of pain on her face dude it was brutal it was fucking brutal then i went back upstairs and i probably slept to like two and i only got 45 days though 45 days is all you got back then now it's like fucking 90 days or like six months we're not making light of this by the way people we realize this is a serious crime but oh yeah please take a cab i mean and that's what gets me about when these athletes like there's nothing i love better than being driven around i mean like me and now magical actually have a thing like we went we have a race in our careers and obviously he's way ahead uh the first one to a driver on the daily show and one of the uh the

founders of this company the podcast company might the record company that the cd salute is coming out on yeah please by the way everybody go on amazon down can they download it anywhere yeah they can download it from amazon i believe and buy it from amazon it's on everything but itunes literally everything but i went and when joe says these are his classic jokes like the first time i worked with you met you was in the punchline in san francisco molly had booked you and she goes you're gonna i think you're gonna like this guy dude within five minutes i was like not only do i love his mature i fucking love this guy you would like every one of your jokes especially in san francisco how liberal it is would totally be offensive and you'd feel the crowd pull back

and then you would just keep tagging the punchline with even more offensive shit and they just had to just give in like this guy just doesn't give a fuck it was i i just remember that when you did about the chick sucking dick for something what the hell was that one you would run from the side of the stage going oh that's miming sucking a dick the difference between la and san francisco that's my differences i just remember it was so loud and it was so fucking graphic and everybody was just like pulling back and you just kept doing it running from side to side miming sucking a dick to get your fucking career going and it was just it was so fucking over the top it was it was awesome man it was awesome so i really hope that people are gonna do the right

thing and you know something like and speaking of doing the right thing dude uh we uh me and some of my friends we put together a benefit for the lake great patrice o'neill in new york city tickets went on sale on uh thursday i know a lot of my podcast listeners are gonna give me shit for not announcing it on monday but there's a reason why i waited till thursday thursday was the one year anniversary of patrice's death and i just feel like the stuff that opi and anthony did for him like they they just had like there's just hours and hours of stuff of patrice oh and the show is ridiculously amazing what's that the benefit show oh the show that we're doing oh yeah i mean that show could be held in the astrodome yeah it's that good i mean it's really it's so it's sold

out in in 24 hours and um you know i i was able to tell patrice's mom and it's the happiest i've heard her since all this whole fucking awful scenario started so i want to thank everybody ona fans and everybody who saw it on twitter who went and bought tickets uh you really fucking did a great thing by buying those tickets and it's gonna be a fucking awesome show so um anyways um i don't know where the fuck to go with with that so do another solid here i know i didn't bring it up uh about the o'neill ticket so if you want to fucking do a solid joey b salute from the all things comedy network dude we're an hour and seven this has been fucking effortless you've been a great fucking guest thank you we had so much fun we had like hours i forgot i was

holding the microphone actually it's like we're so used to uh bullshitting well let's talk fucking rose bull what what do you think stanford wisconsin i was working with nate craig last night uh one of the guys you played hockey with he's he's open out there he was he was saying wisconsin stinks he's like we stink well they won like a thousand i mean you know honestly about the rose bull the least the most the thing i hate the thing i like the least about the rose bull is the game it's like a drag oh there's gonna be a game oh you know i mean it's like you have so much fun in the parking lot i'm telling you it's the best and it's the parking lot by the way people is a fucking golf course you owe it to yourself at some point in your life if you've ever wanted to

go to the rose bull i'm telling you the tailgate is better and do it up bring somebody who knows how to cook bring a bunch of booze and you just sit in there it dude it's it's it's the greatest fucking way ever to start the year all those years that do and stand up and going on stage where they gave the noise makers out to the crowd before you go up and absolute hell and then like the fucking clock strikes whatever and you got to do the countdown okay you fucking animals 10 nine all those years are doing that shit and just i don't even know how the fuck we ended up talking about it we just bought it that's the greatest fucking we went to that we went to that amazing tennessee ucla game when tennessee was up like 20 to nothing and we're like we could leave it

halftime this game's over we stayed ucla made the comeback and we're like we're gonna go to the rose bowl this place is amazing right and then we had the ultimate experience the first year second year we brought along jason law had showed up and if you don't know jason law had unfortunately he's not the trademark batting stance guy he got he like it's like someone stole the formula and he got screwed out of it but lawhead can do the big red machine batting stances reggie jackson he won't let me post the reggie jackson because he said he was out of shape when he did it oh he dude his that reggie jackson thing he does this reggie jackson he goes when do you want to see him do you want to see him when he's younger or when he's older he does the

halt he does the home run he hit me fucking all star game dude when he stands up there right i'm standing up now for people listening here obviously he fucking when he does that thing where he brings the bat up and then fucking adjust the glasses dude the second he did that i was like it's fucking reggie that the fact he can do the whole big red machine but to me my favorite is pete rose when he when he beat ty cop he does he does a rounding first base the clap the the the handshake it's the anyway he showed up all the way to crying on his son's shoulder yes he does he does the whole awkwardness at first base and how great is it when he does like i'm like and he does like pete rose's stand there where he's sitting there crouching down and he literally does what about when he did

he did willy magie he had his dying laugh and doing willy magie and when he does this swing we're on the fucking ground laughing and then his classic quote he goes he loved the high fastball didn't he it's like i don't know jay did he it looked just like him so so he joined the crew then we have andrew joined the queue now it's this is the fifth year anniversary this is it yeah this is the fifth year anniversary so what do you think you think stanford's just gonna come in and pound him uh i think stanford has a better team but you never know they take like a month off it's like when you it's like when you don't go on stage for a month you never really know even though you know your jokes you don't really stanford stanford should burn those uniforms they played

in uh last week that flat that black helmet that was just fucking oh the black on black yeah was that just was that designed by jay z it was terrible no no because if jay z did it it would have been the shit have you seen the fucking bar clay center you know annoying that is his Celtics fan we got 17 fucking banners we just went down to home depot bought a bunch of cinder blocks and built a fucking square dude bar clay center the hardwood floor is supposed to be like a brown stone in brooklyn if you have a nice one in your redo it right and the luxury boxes are like mini fucking brown yeah i'm just kind of night in the cities with two teams i just kind of like you know what move somewhere else give give something i don't get how you can be a lifelong

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