Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-3-23
Episode Date: August 3, 2023Bill rambles about Pink, butterscotch pudding, and farmland....
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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before
Friday Monday morning podcast and I am just checking in on you. Just checking in on you.
See you in all your weeks going. My week's going good. I'm on vacation. Vacation from
what? You fucking liberal piece of shit
Well, it was last time you picked up a hammer and fucking swung it
Y'all ain't working out there. You don't strike on strike from what plain make believe
Y'all come out here self-care line and experience little fucking reality
Can you spell that Mr. Fucking Hollywood writer? South Carolina, experienced little fucking reality.
Can you spell that, Mr. Fucking Hollywood writer?
So sick of you fucking liable's belly aching a mile here, trying to listen to Travis trick.
Taking a fucking little bit of a break, I'm still doing some standup, man.
Because that's the deal.
You can't, you can only take a break from standup for so long, and then it starts dipping.
It's like doing cardio, right?
You're on that elliptical every fucking day.
You know, you're blowing through.
You're getting 5,000, 55,500 fucking steps in
and a half hour.
Like it's nothing.
Staring down the soccer mom next to you.
What you got, woman?
Why don't you go back to your thigh master,
were you below?
I don't know why I've adopted this southern accent, but it's fucking fun.
I don't know a lot, but I know enough. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?
I don't need to know all the information to know what's going on.
to know what's going on.
Not to say that Southern people have done. It's just fun to act like that in that accent.
I mean, you could do it where I'm from.
Dude, I got street smats.
You know what I'm saying?
Just fucking, all these fucking suits
in the capital area walking around with their fucking,
you know, oh, I got a
position, you know, the fucking, you don't have an office, you have a cubicle,
all right, when the walls don't touch the ceilings, that's not an office, all
right? You like one of those dogs with a fucking lampshade around your neck,
except it's a fucking office.
You know, never in my life have I been able to read a spreadsheet, and I don't have any desire to fucking learn.
I did take an accounting class.
And like most classes, it started off well.
Got a B on the first thing.
I was doing well in introductions.
And then I start getting overwhelmed by information
and then it just kind of all falls.
It all falls to the wayside.
What is it, whatever the fuck that means?
I don't even know if I'm saying that right.
There's an expression to look up the wayside.
How do you spell way?
Is that like way powder?
Is it W-E-I-G-H?
It all falls to the wayside. Let's look this up, shall we?
It all falls to the wayside. Is that even an expression? Oh, that's all one word. It all falls to the
wayside. Instead, for it all falls to the wayside. Wait. Okay, what does fall to the wayside? If someone falls by the wayside, they
fail to finish an activity and if something falls by the wayside, people stop doing it
and making it a use of it. So why does one company, wow, origin, we got to go origin here. Hang on one second. Sorry. God damn it. Fuck and curious, motherfucker.
Oh God, from the parable of the sour told by Jesus or Jesus and recorded to the New Testament of the Bible. The term appearing in Matthew 13, colon 4, Mark
Mark 14.4, and fucking Luke, always dragon-ass 8.5. The parable is the story of a farmer
who sows seeds and some fall by the wayside, and it wasotting down and the fouls of the air devoured it.
Well thank you for explaining that.
By the way, somebody sent me this fucking clip of pink at Fenway Park and it had to be the sickest
thing I've ever seen. You know, she's always had like the trapeze stuff flying around the crouching tiger,
hitting dragon stuff, right?
She's like in the outfield.
And all of a sudden, she just starts doing back flips over the whole crowd across the whole stadium
on this wire. Just, and they had her lit up like tinkerbell. It looked like
anyway. And she just fucking, I don't know how many she did like, like fucking 20 of
them across a major league baseball park. And then she landed on this little thing like
Superman, like wave to everybody everybody and then they brought her along
the upper deck and she was like running acting like she was running in air along the
fucking upper deck.
And then it goes back to where she started and she's still running in the air and at one
point she just has like one leg up and one leg down like landing like Superman and this
fucking thing she landed on couldn't have been more than like like two feet across a little
circle and she landed right on it. Who's like the sickest thing I think I've ever seen
in a concert. I just can't imagine being on drugs. We're at the back of the stadium.
I mean you're just sitting there going like,
Jesus Christ is fucking seat suck.
I mean, that might as well be Martha Stewart down.
And all she's just like,
Oh, that's fucking coming at you.
Like, wait a minute.
I hope she warned people.
Hey, anybody on psychedelics just to let you know this is real. Okay, it's all done with
wires, you know, it's super safe. All right, just letting everybody know before I freak you out.
That's what was killing me because it's the greatest visual thing I think I've ever seen. I've
watched it like a hundred times. Like I don't even know how did she count how did they time it like how does she know like she's doing the backflips
I don't I who the fuck doesn't who the hell would do that all the shit that's
happened in concerts fucking lighting things falling down on people paralyzing
you do that.
That's like astronaut level balls.
But anyways, I was just kept thinking about
if like nobody knew that technology existed,
but somehow they had it back in the 80s
when I was going to concerts,
and I was just thinking like,
and you had no idea that was coming,
like what the crowd would have just stampede it
out of the stadium thinking
you were like a fucking witch or something.
You know, if you went to go see Queen and Freddie Mercury is up there, I paid my prize,
I paid my dues.
You're sort of fucking backflipin' across the fucking stadium.
If you really do this guys a fucking witch, let's get out of here, man.
Anyway, shout out to Pinker and anybody who saw that.
I can't imagine if you're up there and all of a sudden, even just for that moment, even
though you seat suck, right?
Not the back flip part, but when she runs by, like she's on this fucking invisible unit,
look at it, like she's on a horse.
Just came flying by, I mean, that right there makes it work, worth the trip.
I think it's a really smart thing.
You know, as I remember back in the day, I saw the Rolling Stones and uh, most of it's Sullivan Stadium and I was way up in
the upper deck and uh, you know, Mick was like the size of my fucking thumb and he never fucking flip
through the crowd. He was just up there sachet and in his fucking loose clothes. He's always wearing like silk or something.
Right, can't have me clear who's touching me baldy.
I move around a lot, yeah.
Don't know if you're seeing it,
in a band running stones,
been around fucking 60 years.
It's the worst English accent ever.
Hey Keith, can you cool it?
Anyway, I was fucking blown away by that.
I don't know who the hell came up with that shit.
We had Tommy Lee going upside down in his drum kit.
But even then, they showed it in the music video.
So you, they, Molly Crew was nice enough to give you the heads up that it was coming,
because they knew that their crowd was gonna be on drugs.
Anybody was at that Fenway show,
like tripping on mushrooms or whatever,
and had no idea that maybe you were a casual fan of pink.
I'm coming out, again, I got that back.
I'm coming out, you know, like the hits, right?
You don't know the deeper cuts, deep pink, right?
So you just fucking go with the friend of yours,
you know, and you're like, well, you know, all right.
At least I can do some drugs.
Anybody that anybody go to that show
and have no fucking idea that that pink was gonna be
in seven seconds right next to your fucking seat. You'll be fucking hilarious if everybody
rips her off and then that just becomes the standard thing. Like you have to have that
at a concert and then all these fucking old guys from my generation all of the thing.
I gotta do what and all of a sudden, you know,
fucking old ass David covered Dale. It is still not.
And he's fucking gotta do like fucking back flips.
All right, Bill, we get it.
Whatever, I was blown away by it.
I think it's amazing.
But I also, you know, I could not take myself
out of the fan experience there.
Go and hold.
You gotta fucking warn me. if you're gonna do,
she must have been flying around before that
and that had to be the finishing move.
Like, I don't know how the fuck you top that.
You start dropping money.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? What? In a gesture of generosity goes horribly wrong at the pink concert.
I was looking down and people were tearing it one another and I was like, no, this bunny's
supposed to set you free.
I'd like to apologize to anyone who has trampled for the de blooms that I dropped while
doing 27 back flips from one side of Komiski Park to another man.
It's just fucking, that is incredible.
Supposed to me, I just stand there doing the old shit joke.
So I'm on vacation here, man. And I've been riding this back every fucking day.
Renting a back, finally down lower than that.
You're like, Bill, you're on vacation.
Why are you still yawning?
Why are you still tired?
Oh, because I have a three year old son who comes in every morning at fucking
658, whether you like it or not.
Hi, dad. loud as hell.
I want X-SAM, what's that, I got out,
data, data, X-SAM, what's that, I gotta be like,
son, son, you gotta be patient,
you gotta be patient,
and then he just drops his voice down,
he just goes, X-Hawage.
I want X-Hawage, data.
Data X-Hawage.
What?
What?
Then I start laughing,
and then he gives me that killer smile,
oh my God, so my heart melts,
and next thing you know, I'm up.
I'm up and I'm making a fucking X sandwich.
He can finally hold the sandwich close.
You know, it was the best,
it was when he couldn't and the eggs would fall out
and then we just go, oh no!
Oh no, dad, oh no!
Oh no! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That would just play along going, oh, no, jeez.
Let's get those eggs, you gotta squeeze it.
Gotta squeeze the fucking toast together.
Anyway, I'm an eating like a fucking champ.
Eating like a champ.
Smoothies, salads.
You know, trying to learn how to do splits. eating like a champ, smoothies, salads,
you know, trying to learn how to do splits. Sorry.
I did add something even more feminine in there.
Anyway, what else was I doing?
I caught a little bit of coffee last night.
I did go out to dinner and I ordered really well, but then I saw the dessert menu and you
know me, hey, I don't need to tell you guys about me, right?
I mean, believe me, you'll know what I'm thinking.
I used to love calling when you used to do bits about guys like that.
I fucking loved it.
Hey, and you know me.
No, I don't know you fucking narcissist.
Anyway, yeah, I say I don't need dessert.
It's been fucking fantastic.
Cause everywhere, you know, it's the summertime.
And I'm going around and we're in, you know,
this touristy place and everybody's fucking eat nice cream.
I don't know what it is.
I think ice creams the thing to get this year,
which I gotta be honest with you,
I don't know why you get ice cream on a hot day.
Why the fuck you would go for dairy?
You would never go like, oh my God, it's fucking hot out.
Somebody give me a glass of milk
and these fucking people are a chowin' the thing.
And I say this every summer, there's nothing funnier than watching a
grown man eat an ice cream cone
it's the funniest shit you know now like homophobia has gotten to the point that
is a straight man if you have a banana you have to be like breaking pieces off of
it you can't just eat the banana like the way a chimp does
because everybody says it looks like you're going down
on a fucking dick, right?
That's the latest homophobia.
I don't know how the ice cream has gotten away with it.
Is the guy sitting there going down this looking like,
you know, the whole fucking thing is just like,
it's like, you know, the whole fucking thing is just like, it's like, you know, the manliest, the manly guy,
and then all of a sudden he's just giving a sloppy ice cold blow job
as he's walking down the street.
I fucking die laughing every time I watch it.
It's the funniest fucking shit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Anyway, enjoy your summer, everybody.
It's just, even just in general, it's just something funny about a guy standing there holding
an ice cream.
That's even better when he's waiting for his wife just standing there holding the ice cream.
Like, all he needs is like a balloon tied around his wrist.
Oh, Bill, can we just enjoy, you know, one of the last summers before the oceans rise
and swallow up probably 12 of the 50 states?
Um, I cannot fucking...
Oh, so anyway, so last night we're at the restaurant.
And for like a year and a half, I've been craving butter scotch pudding. Like,
I don't know what got knock loose in my brain, but back in the day, you know, my mother
used to buy those Swiss, missed instant pudding things that would just 100% fructose corn
syrup, whatever the fuck it was, all trans fat.
I mean, if I have a drop of a fucking heart attack,
it's because of those fucking things
way back in the day.
But whatever, I was like craving one of those.
I wasn't craving a gourmet, you know, butterscotch fucking thing, but blah, blah, blah, blah.
I wanted the fucking Swiss mess and last night I go to this restaurant, my lovely wife,
my mother-in-law, and we had a great meal and I looked at the dessert menu and they had
a fucking butterscotch putting with some sort of whiskey something and
I was like, I would have got up with this booze in it.
And he is like, it burns off.
It burns out of there.
All right.
You're not a chef.
I'll take that for a fucking answer, right?
So I ordered the thing, but all three of us split it. I had like five bites of it and it was very good,
but it was afterward where I was just like,
you know what, that didn't scratch the itch.
I wanted to go back and child sense memory.
I wanted, like, because the one I had last night
was fucking, was amazing,
but I wanted the fucking white trash one.
You know,
the one somebody comes knocking on your fucking trailer door
and you come walking over.
You got half the fucking dessert, you mustache.
Can I help you?
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
That's one of my favorite things people say when you're trespassing.
Pfft.
Can I help you?
It's so fucking like, like non-confrontational but confrontational but passive I guess would be. But I also like how all of a sudden you start talking like you work in a macy's.
Is there anything I can help you with?
You know, keys to my car.
Tell you where my watch is in the house.
May I help you?
Excuse me.
Are you lost? Excuse me. Are you lost?
Excuse me, is there a problem?
These are the expressions of people
that have not had a fight in 30 years
and don't want to have another one.
That's how they, they, um, hello?
No, notice none of those fucking sayings were ever in a
semester alone.
Schwarzenegger, Steven Segal, Jason State the movie.
They never go, you know, is everything okay?
Well, I guess they could get away.
Excuse me, are you lost?
I'm trying to do Schwarzenegger.
What's a good Schwarzenegger?
I have to get some fuck bill.
Do you have you guys watched the documentary,
the Schwarzenegger documentary yet?
That's what keep, I keep hearing that voice.
Still here at my head.
You got this picture in your mind of what you want your body
to look like and you will it, you will your body.
Whatever the hell he said, that just stuck.
You will it to look like that.
So I wanna look like that old dad
that maybe used to do hard drugs because that's one of the things that they don't talk about about hard drugs is when you do hard drugs younger
in your life for whatever reason you're just like skinny for your whole life.
You know, you know, they're all these rock stars.
All the ones that had had the big heroin problems.
They come out.
It's this weird sort of like it's like this heroin dad bought that they come out with.
We can see their rib cage where their chest, where their pecs should be. fucking this little pot belly. I am fascinating. I do this thing with Dean Del Ray,
where we try to find the most the most accessorized rock stars. And you just try to see where it went off the rails.
I mean, it just gets crazy.
All right, so you got the fucking leather on leather outfit.
You got the tattoos, then you go with the eyeliner, right?
And then you gotta have like, like,
fucking 40 bracelets, like 12 earring.
You just look at them, you know, like a fucking headband.
I love wearing a bandana and then you put a hat
on top of the bandana and then there's a bandana
tied around the brimmy of fucking hat.
You just wanna look at them like, dude,
how long does it take you to get
fucking dressed and undressed in the morning?
I mean, just the fucking sound, you know, some chick state in this guy, hey, hang on a second,
I gotta get ready for bed.
And he just goes in there and it sounds like somebody dropped like a fucking, like a
box of nails.
It's just him getting, taking all of his fucking. Don't even take them all off.
They all link together.
Some of these fucking people.
Bandana, I hat on top of the bandana,
bandana around the brim.
And then they got like some sort of fucking glasses,
40 fucking earrings, nose ring that connects to something
like they're fucking, I don't know what, something else.
It's like we get it.
We get it.
You make money.
Fucking play in music.
I kind of feel like it's like as they go around the world, people keep giving them gifts
and they just keep putting it on themselves.
Or I made this jacket for you.
Hey, thanks mate.
And then they fucking put it on and then they get another jacket and then they cut the
sleeves off for one.
All right, it's a jacket on top of the jacket with a windbreaker and then a vest and an
overcoat.
Sorry. and a vest and an overcoat.
Sorry. I think that idea was as long as it takes
to get fucking dressed as a rock star.
Twice that Malcolm Young had it down.
Guy would come out, black t-shirt, white t-shirt,
whatever, blue jeans, underwear, socks, sneakers, done.
And he would just go out there and play, and that was fucking it. The man did not have a stylist yet came up with his own style.
I didn't wonder how many of those suits Angus brought out on the road.
I mean, he has to have, I mean, that's like workout clothes with that guy.
The guy comes off stage, it's like work out close with that guy.
Okay, it comes off stage. It's like he's coming out of the ocean. I mean, there's no fucking way.
They just hang that thing up wet and let it dry and then he fucking does it. I bet early on in his career, they did.
Oh, Jesus. Now, there's a question nobody asked, Angus.
Hey, seven nights into your tour on the high voltage tour. How nasty was that fucking school boy outfit?
All right, I don't have any fucking reads.
I don't have any reads. Did you guys see that thing?
Not to get into politics here.
This is I am watching the I like, I have no hope.
Okay.
So I'm just watching just to see if my suspicions are true.
So everybody claims on the left and the right
that they like a straight shooter
and all of that type of stuff
and somebody that's gonna tell it like it is
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, So somebody sent me this thing that R.F.K. Jr. told this whole story about how this corporation
with this one guy at the head of it put all these independent pig farmers out of business.
You know, they just had more money and they had a more efficient way of killing pigs
and they were able to slaughter like 30,000 pigs a day
in Butcherham.
And because they did, they drove the price of like pork
all the way down to like, I don't know, 25 cents or something,
which caused all these other independent farmers
to go bankrupt.
And then, if you wanted to keep being a pig farmer,
you then had to sign a contract with this
corporation that puts you out of business. And the corporation supplied you with the piglets,
with the food. You know, you had to do exactly what they said. They basically became
serfs, like the feudal system on their own land. They took over it basically, I don't know, 80%
They took over it basically, I don't know, 80% of pig farms in this country. And then in the end, you know what they did?
They sold it to China.
So these are the kinds of stories that you say, and this is wrong and this really messes
with America, right?
You watch what they do to that guy. You watch how they fucking try to tear him down
in all of the, because all of these fucking politicians know this shit's happening.
And you know, this isn't new information, but you know, they can't be pro senators and congressmen
cannot be prosecuted for, I guess, insider trading.
They're privy to all of this stuff.
And because they can't, these companies on Wall Street send them information to basically
give them the hook up.
So they'll make a bunch of fucking money and then essentially look the other way when these
corporations are doing evil shit. So all of these fucking assholes where they go
like, he's a public servant. He isn't. They're serving themselves. So whenever a guy like
this comes along, you know, Robert Kennedy, Jr., Bernie Sanders, and even Trump in a way, even though Trump was sort of
the corporate evil fucking guy, like how he made himself out to be like this Robin Hood
guy, what it's just like, dude, you like the amount of money that you've cost the average
Joe with all these bankruptcy.
It's like, you know, it's don't declare bankruptcy and they wipe away the debt.
They got to get the money back. Like we have to pay for that and he stood up there like the dead judge the the bankruptcy laws and his own fucking people are applauding him
Yay, we paid your tab and
None of us are a member at your golf course
I
Just find it fascinating watching the liberal Democratic party what they did to Bernie Sanders these last two elections where he won the popular vote
And they were just like now we're still giving you a company man and they gave his Hillary and fucking, you know
Joe Biden, I mean
I don't know. We'll see what's gonna happen. I don't have any faith that like
You know, I'm waiting for a politician
I don't have any faith that like, you know, I'm waiting for a politician to start talking about this stuff
because I don't understand what we're doing.
We're completely letting the country go to hell.
And then if you bring it up, people,
he's a fucking socialist communist,
the gas will be nine million dollars a gallon
if this guy gets it and then the guy just goes away
every fucking time.
So you watch.
You watch.
And it'll be done by the left.
But just disappointing,
because all I want, all I want for the next president,
I just want somebody sane that gives a shit about people.
That's it.
That's it.
Does that ask him too much? or at least doesn't have dementia?
Alright, anyway we'll see what happens though everybody. This is old
butterscotch bill signing off. Have a wonderful beginning of August. Don't get
upset that it's August. Enjoy August. Alright, still this summer. Alright, see you. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burnett. It's the Monday morning podcast for Monday,
August 3rd, 2015. What's going on? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah you, can you believe it's already August 3rd?
Where is the summer going?
No need to fret everyone.
Because now that we are in the golden age of global warming,
you know, right before all the bad shit happens,
the great thing is, the summer goes right through
to like October at this point.
So there's still time to get your beach body ladies and
gentlemen
You not really helps with you you ever just get depressed at how quickly life is going by how quickly time is going by you know
It really helps that is if you're working towards something I
Sweaty God not try to get all fucking goofy here-help. I'm actually excited for August to end, to get right through this month because I know
where I'm gonna be, because I've been working out today.
I stepped on the scale and my goal was to get go from 180 to 177, drop my three pounds for the fucking week. I go to the gym every day
It's just because poppy life
You know what I'll be a fanny
Wow you're gonna gym every day you're cut
Woo
I got on I got on the scale babble to lap up when I got out of bed
I got on the scale this morning.
And I weighed in at 176.4 or point,
FOA is some people say in Massachusetts,
or basically the New England area.
176.4, six ounces to spare.
Pretty psyched about that. What I did this week was I just kept eating the exact same way that I've been eating,
which is perfect as I know how to eat.
You know, there's only so much you can read about nutrition.
You know, about good carbohydrates, what a good fats, bad fats, good cholesterol,
bad cholesterol, fucking glycerin,
whatever, I just a glucose and all that shit, I just shut up, all right, with your words,
you know, those fucking words don't excite me. They don't make me go, oh, what's the next
sentence going to read? I got to figure out how to get excited about reading about nutrition. You know, I just can't, I cannot get into reading about
nuts and berries. You don't want to mean there's no car chase, there's no titties, there's
no classic lines, no shiny suits, oh, there's nothing, what is there for me? You know,
like sitting through with some fucking movie, you know, you didn't want to see,
but you fucked up in your relationships, so you're trying to repair it, see like, all right,
I'll fucking, uh, oh yeah, let's go see this movie.
What is it called?
What is it called?
Seven suppers in September.
What the fuck I'm thinking about?
Dinner dates, divine, whatever the fuck it's
going to be. Anyways, but I switched up the cardio this week. I went to the gym and I skipped
a rope a couple of times. So it was a different kind of cardio. So my body's still like,
hey, whoa, whoa, what the fuck's going on? You know, because I overheard somebody say
you're supposed to confuse your body every like three to six weeks. So I did that and it's working for me.
It's working for me. Oh boy, oh boy.
And I'm psyched that I'm losing weight.
But this is the time and I,
because I'm recording this on Sunday night.
And it's about, I don't know, seven, eight o'clock.
I don't know what the fuck time it is.
And this is the time and night where I usually crack open
a cold one.
And I'm not, I'm 28 days in 29
when you hear this and you know so now I'm not craving alcohol I don't give a
fuck about it I'm gonna give a shit but like I'm not like you know I'm used to
my new lifestyle you know this is it just wide. Oh fucking brain cells. Straight line all counted for.
Jesus Christ on board shitless. Fucking board shitless. But I am working towards a few things. I took my first
uh, um, auto rotation, uh, advanced auto rotation class and I fucking loved it and I felt like I've
got like 30% better at them in one lesson and I'm just gonna keep taking those fucking things until I can simulate a
Engine failure and land it like essentially in a parking spot and once I do that then I'm gonna feel like all right
Now I feel comfortable to fly around take some passengers and that type of shit
That's what you do. You don't get your license and then go well
That's not what you do. You don't get your license and then go, well, I got to pass the fucking test. Let me just fly around and hope nothing happens.
That's not what you do. You keep going. You keep learning. Keep trying.
Fuck. 28 days in. 72 days, 72 minus 28. That's 52 minus 844 44 days to go
I'm rapidly approaching the halfway point which is 36 days
Was 27 35 shit. I was hoping next week I was gonna be at the halfway point who's kidding? Who people I'm gonna come off I'm gonna drop about 20 pounds and I am gonna come off this fucking
This stretcher no booze and I'm gonna put on at least 30 pounds just a
booze weight. Forget about all the dumb food choices I'm gonna make when I'm hammered.
Um, now Jesus, so anyways, 176.4, there you go. So all I gotta do is lose 2.4 this week,
I'm gonna give a fuck. I just gotta plow through this fucking week, you know?
Cause then I'll be down to 174 and then it gets exciting, right? Then you start
getting into the low 170s and that's basically, you know, that's where, you know, because that'll be down to 174 and then it gets exciting, right? Then you start getting into the low 170s and that's basically, you know,
that's where, you know, in my business, I could go out and get a headshot and maybe a book of
Cheerios commercial. That's an exciting way to be at, you know what I mean?
No, you can sit there and laugh. Those toasted-oes commercials, they fucking pay.
I did one a long time ago. I think it's up on YouTube.
If you search for it, search old Billy Redface, toast at os.
Nah, I'm kidding, I never did one of those.
But I wasn't a honeycomb commercial when I was just a kid.
Honeycomb's big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not small.
Nah, I wasn't in that shit either.
Anyways, let's get on with the podcast here.
So that's the deal, trying to get in shape, you know what I mean because I'm not a young fella anymore and
If anything tells me that is when fucking you know
Heroes of mine for when I was a kid dying this sleep
Fucking devastating news of Roddy Raudy Roddy pipe are passing away this week, man
I could believe it was fucking 61 I
Could believe it was that old and I could have believed it was that old.
And I also was thinking like, that's 14 years away from me.
And 14 years you can die in your sleep, like that can happen.
And everybody's okay with that, you know, like, I, uh, I'm not okay with it.
I mean, they missed a guy in shit, but anyways, so, rest in peace, rowdy, rowdy, piper.
Thank you for all the fucking laughs, piper's pit, man.
That was the best. Just when they think they know the answers,
I changed the questions. I got to meet him a couple of times when I was down
the comedy store and I had a chance to hang out with him one time and I didn't
because he was that big a deal for me and I didn't want to know him too well
because he was such a big fucking deal. That's when that I'm telling you.
Before the rock in Stone Cold Steve Austin, which was definitely a golden age,
and I think the rock is the best guy ever on the mic other than fucking Ric Flair.
That's what I my own personal opinion, whatever. But before the golden age of the rocks don't cold Steve Austin mankind. Oh, who's a guy? What the
fuck was he called? I just know what the rock used to call him. He used to call him
the red, you know what? Oh, what was his name? I can't fuck him up.
Routing, rotting pipe, sergeant slaughter.
Mr. Wonderful.
Jimmy Superfly, Snooker.
I used to watch all of that shit.
Larry's a Bisco, Tony Garea, Ted D. Biasi,
Greg Daham, a Valentine, Ivan Putsky, Pat Patterson.
Who else? The end of Bruno's semartino. And now there was a
reddit fellow there. We had the belt. What the fuck was his name?
Bob Backland, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, the Iron Sheik, George the animal steel, the
fucking moon dogs, Mr. Fuji and Mr. Saedo, the man of the wild Samoans, Captain
Lual Bono, Freddie Blassy, the grand wizard of wrestling. I used to watch that
shit every fucking week. I loved it. And one of the biggest parts when when fucking
Routing Roddy Piper came on the scene. It was like who the fuck is this guy
Came out and that killed and from day one was talking. She was one of those guys
He he showed up and he was a star. It seemed like it was just overnight
He was so good. You couldn't remember wrestling without a man
And I can't believe that man 61 years old. looked great too, and I saw him fuck it look great
Terrible that I mean I'm getting to that age where that gets terrifying like how old was he with the fuck?
So anyways
Yes, the men start to make me feel old so I feel good that I'm actually working towards some shit
So oh Billy fucking 20 hobbies here. So I'm working on those
good that I'm actually working towards some shit. So oh Billy fucking 20 hobbies here. So I'm working on those uh, autorotations and I actually started taking drum lessons again because I'm sick of
fucking flailing around the kit and uh, you know, I was always, I always admired guys that had that
fucking flawless technique. And I think seeing Keith Karlock when he played with uh, steely Dan
and just watching the obviously no matter how much technique i have them never
gonna play like that guy but just watching
uh...
him just
effortlessly go around the kit
and the sticks are doing the work is just guiding with his hands just
forgets is really some drum geek shit but it's fucking unreal and haven't said
that does anybody know who who was Jim croe she's drummer does anybody have any idea I'm trying to figure out
who played on that working at the car wash blues which is really you know it's
kind of a corny fucking song who's getting who but the drums on it are they
shit I love the drums on that fucking song and I finally figured out that
little fucking I'll play a little something for you this is a little fucking
press role that the guy doesn't the beginning
i'll say where the hell is it come on or here we go
it is coming up right now
right here
i fucking love that
and two three and and one
But I've been sitting in my fucking just like a fucking rain man trying to figure that thing out and I started taking lessons and
My teacher helped me out with the shit. I'm psyched. So I suck at it
But I know I know physically how to do it
So I just got you just sit there and you do it a million times who knows maybe I'll bust that song out of the the comedy gym
Oh Jim Croci
God damn it that guys got some depressing songs
Huh
New York's not my home
And I learned a lot of lessons and they were not the nice kind of all the shitty things about fucking sleeping
In a doorway
getting mugged having to call his parents that New York's not my home I just started singing that
don't you know that I gotta get out of here I'm so alone don't you know that I gotta get out of here
because New York's not my home thank god I never knew that song existed when I first moved to New York
and was eating my balls at the Old Boston Comedy Club. Oh, it got on crying.
That was that early 70s shit. They were not about bringing people up. They were just like, no, sit in it. Sit in that depression.
Yeah, he's got a couple. He's got I got a name.
You know, like the pine trees, line in, no winding road.
I got a name.
I got a name.
So I have to song doesn't make any sense.
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad, I got a name.
That neither one of those animals has really as a name, unless it's a pet,
other than that, it's just called what it is.
That'd be like if your name was human being, right?
You know, maybe I should just sit back and enjoy this song.
I don't fucking know, but I just, you know, and I can't with me like my dad it did.
And even then it gets sad, but I'm living the dream that he couldn't give.
What do that mean?
He drank away his paycheck every week
It was just fucking good Lord
Guys put none number one songs and he's all he's all fucking sad
Might as me that the the Seattle guy there right what the page boy haircut
He was a saddy too. We had all these great fucking albums. He didn't like it here
Anyways, what am I doing? What am I talking about here?
There's something I wanted to talk about. Oh, so my wife for whatever fucking reason absolutely loves that show
that American greed and
She watches like three of those episodes every fucking night before we go to bed and I and I always end up falling asleep because it's the same fucking story over and over again. You know? It's the same thing. The guy starts up a fucking
business. He he dressing the party, he's faking it to you make it. He gets a bunch of
investors. He hands out fake spreadsheets and he got these fucking innocent people just
going like, you know, I saw they were charging. I was getting 30% and I was like, this sounds like a good deal to me.
Right?
And then they always go, you know,
they always get some really bad metaphor.
They invested in an ice cream chain,
but this wasn't the flavor they were looking for.
When we returned, glass in the ice cream.
Oh, wow, wow, that fucking song. glass in the ice cream. Wow.
Wow.
That fucking song.
American greed.
I'll tell you, you know what he's going to end up on fucking American greed is that
cunt who shot that lion.
Everybody's talking about this dentist that went over and illegally poached this lion
that was friendly with people.
I love that shit.
Is it friendly with people until what?
It bites somebody's fucking head off? Fucking unreal. You know what I mean? Everybody's fucking
salient, gas the pit bulls. You shoot a fucking lion and he's like, oh he was nice. He was a good
lion. I'm not saying it was a bad lion. I'm not saying the guy shouldn't have done it. I think
everybody's missing the fucking story here. All right, speaking of American
greed, this guy paid 50 grand. All right, that's just for the fuck, that's not even for
his flight to go over there and kill this fucking lion. All right. I'm not trying to stony thing up here, but how the fuck an adentist afford to drop 50 grand to fly to Africa to shoot a
fucking lion illegally. Just thinking of all the how
expensive the shoes he had to buy that he had to sneak around
and that had to be some sort of ninja wear fucking I'm going
to shoot a
protected lion wear that he had on right. I dropped 50 grand on that and now he's
gone underground. The golders house he's got a mansion right and all they talk
about is this fucking lion and I'm watching an episode of American Great.
How do fuck are you
for all fill in fucking I'm any teeth
that you fill in. This guy's pulling
teeth. He's I'm telling you right now.
I used to work in a dental office
right and I there was some good
dentists just like cops. There's some
good cops. There's some bad cops and
I'm not talking about interrogation.
Talking about brandishing a weapon. It's just like cops, there's some good cops, there's some bad cops and I'm not talking about interrogation
Talking about brainishing a weapon
No, I'm talking about fucking people pulling teeth that didn't need to be pulled fucking doing root-doing fillings on teeth That did not need to be fucking drilled into because they bought a car beyond their own fucking
Needs or whatever they're there, they have financial responsibility.
All right, I think this guy should be fucking taken back there.
Just for the simple fact, just for the simple fact that he, uh,
he went to another country and did that.
What do we got over here?
Does the MGM still have a lion? What if he he what if somebody from Zimbabwe came over here?
What about the MGM lion, right?
Right as they were recording that you're watching an MGM film they fuck please turn the air conditioner back on
Yeah, the lovely knee everybody she came in. This is a studio man. They've letterman had it cold
I'm having it cold. He lasted fucking 30 years on television. I want to do 30 years of podcasting
Well, what's good is the air conditioning if you're gonna fucking turn it off listen
I'm talking about that dentist that went out went over to Zimbabwe
You got to go grab a mic from the from the closet there
I know no one wants to listen to this.
Let me just hit pause here.
Ah, fuck it. I never hit pause.
Um,
Do you know that story near?
Yes.
This dentist from Minnesota,
he's a, you know, he likes,
he's one of those big game hunters.
You know what I mean?
He's one of those fucking guys.
I'm gonna shoot something that people think is scary. And they can be like, Oh, I killed that shit. You know, like mean? He's one of those fucking guys. I'm gonna shoot something That people think is scary and they can be like, oh, I killed that shit
You know like it went up and he fucking put it in a chokehold
Take it didn't you you went over and you shot it the fact that you can go you can walk up
and kill an armed man a
Human being with the gun you could fucking kill you could you could do it
Even if he knew you were coming you have a gun he is a gun you could do that. So now you're going up to a lion. The thing
doesn't have a gun. So I mean how fucking difficult is it? Actually they shut it with a crossbow
but there's one they shut it with a crossbow was because they were trying to disguise.
Doesn't he have he's gone big game hunting before right? Like he's done it a lot.
Well here's the thing that I thought I saw some weirdly alarmist headline being like,
you know, he's like a serial killer of animals.
And it's like the way they were putting it was like,
you know, this is what he does all the time.
I don't know.
He's one of those guys, he doesn't seem like he kills to eat it.
Yeah, yeah, it's just for sport.
Yeah, he's one of those guys to be like,
yeah, you ever hear of an alligator?
Fucking shot one in the head.
It was, he put it up in his study or something.
Yeah, I like one of those guys.
He's one of those guys.
So he went about him.
He fled, right?
Like he, uh, he went over to Zimbabwe,
he went like a crossbow, and he fucking went into some,
like wildlife sanctuary.
Allegedly, this lion was friendly with people.
I love that shit.
Stassel the lion.
Cecil or whatever.
It was, it's, yeah, it's friendly until it isn't.
To the one day you do something that reminds us,
it's, you know, something from its childhood
and it fucking bites your head off.
But it's what it's supposed to do.
It's a lion.
Yeah.
It kills shit.
Yeah, of course.
So you went in and you fucking killed it,
to capitated it, skin the fucking thing.
Yeah, what's the head?
Yeah.
First of all, how do you get the head back? I don't know. I don't want to know. You got to go gym bag. They're gonna drain it out.
They probably do it there. Oh, no, you know what he did. He probably takes the
fucking just the skin from the head. You bring that back and then you just you
have somebody like make a like a lion back and then you just, you have somebody like make
a like a lion skull and then you put it over there because no one's gonna know that the
skull isn't in there, right? This is the kind of shit. This is like pre-meditated.
No idea. Let me issue this now because you're into American greed. This guy's a dentist.
He paid 50 grand to do that. Now he's gone underground. They're going by his house. He has
a mansion. This guy's a dentist. He has a mansion. He's going all these expensive fucking, you know,
going around killing all these. How does a dentist have all that fucking money? Is he like a
hoity-toity fancy dentist that like doesn't take any insurance at all like self-paying?
I worked in the dental office. Nobody was going on a safari. Even to just look at him. Forget
about to just want to safari how much money that is forget about
You're gonna go over there and then sneak back later kill a lion but you're the fucking thing and sneak it back
Yeah, I don't know he sounds very sketchy though
That's Bill Dwayne the theme to American Greed later
Yeah, do your best Stacy Keach impression
Well, give me a scenario what it's always the same scenario the same thing
It's like a Ponzi scheme and he throws lavish parties and you bias Ferraris and BMWs
And he called him Ferrari Mike dude., how many times is it? Ferrari Mike, yeah.
How many times is ludicrous gonna show up
in the background of one of those?
Louis Chris has oddly shown up on two episodes.
Two episodes.
Two episodes of American greed.
Greedy white people love ludicrous.
They fucking can't get enough of them.
I don't know, it's really weird though,
yeah, how he came up twice.
It's fucking hilarious. Not that he does business with these people
But he's like he knows the people that did business with the person being profiled. It's like that
He's like a private party. You know when they like that you show rich you can have ludicrous rap in your living room
I love that show
I love that show. Bam, bam, bam.
That fucking song used to be.
What are you doing?
That fucking, that, that, that, that,
Missy Elliott song used to drive me up the world. We're jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, jamming, Damn damn it, man. Nobody paid attention. No, we gave shit It was the only good part of the song was when he came on
You're talking about the song with solo 12 amators. Yeah, that is the best part
I loved it. It was inspirational
No one believed in him and he said fuck this. He made his own goddamn tape and then he was selling them out of the back of the car
And then he was crushing it
He's gonna be on Empire next season. I didn't like I didn't like the part where he started buying the gators It's just like no, no, no, no real estate. Oh
I'm sure he has tons of real estate
Not the guy he's singing about some of the guy he's rapping about
Let's talk about ludicrous. Oh, I thought you're talking about ludicrous
How soon before ludicrous is on American greed,
at some point he's gotta come clean like.
It's gonna be on Empire, I just told you,
next season he's gonna be on Empire.
Well I'm telling you right now,
if he shows up on a third,
a third episode of American greed,
somebody's gotta be like ludicrous, like.
Yeah, who's he hanging out with?
Yeah, I don't get it.
I don't know.
Look how white I am.
I don't know any white guy on that show. That's pretty interesting, huh? I'm sure you do. Actually,
they just haven't shown up yet. I'm sure you know or have somehow tangibly been involved
with some like crazy corporate American greed type dude, but it's just so fun. I used
to do corporate gigs. I bet one of those guys went down. Of course. Yeah. No, but not
if you don't hate to a fucking campaign. Yeah, no, but not if you not if you donate to a fucking
Camp no, but you're like a white guy working in show business like there's at that some point you came across somebody
That did some American greed type shit like that's just how it goes. No, I don't think so. I don't think they go to the funny bones in the
Improvs
I
Think when you sell out stadiums like him
the adams theaters like venues promoters
you know last one we watch this guy and that he throws a party in like indian
apple is
and he has ice sculptures
cut into the playboy of indiana yet cut into like fucking dollar signs yeah
and then he stood on his balcony with hundred dollar bills
And this none of the money was his and just fucking did the he made a rain. They made it rain
And like just what I love about those what I find them so fascinating about them is just
Just that living in the moment and thinking like how long do you think you're gonna fucking get away with this?
Mm-hmm
And then they do but then what then it's always kind of funny, just the dumb shit they buy, but
then once they actually start showing the people that lost, it's always like, you know,
he was a farmer, he grew food for the country, he never sold out to corporate farmers, he
had 170 grand, he gave it all to Ferrari Mike
That's you they have like a hundred
He had a nice watch. He was well spoken. I thought he was a nice person
Yeah, it's always like a hundred twenty hundred seventy thousand. I'd like their entire life
Yeah, and then they take it and they go all right and they get the fake fucking spreadsheets
And they immediately walk out the door and they go buy a watch with that like
Just like just go spend it on themselves. Yeah those yachts that six million dollar yacht we saw
I know I didn't feel like it was really all that for six million dollars like the deck of the court and everything
We're talking about basic to me
What I thought that that thing would be like 40 million bucks that thing
Oh, it had seven bedrooms with their own bathroom on a boat. No, I know it is all that shit go me
That's expensive. I'm not gonna turn the can you turn the fucking AC back on please are you really that hot?
I was freezing my ass off when I came in I know you were some old lady sweater on that's are you hot?
Oh, you just wanted on always let her man had it on are you actually yeah Oh, you just wanted on. I'm always hot, baby.
Letterman had it on.
Are you actually?
Yeah, no, it's fun.
I'm dying in here.
Really?
I'm white, you know?
It's all that hot air.
Oh, too shay.
White people like the fucking cold, Nia.
I know.
We do.
We're pasty.
We know we're white like the snow, Nia.
All right. Why did you want to come in?
I wanted you to go. Well, I think there was a question that somebody wanted to
fucking ask you.
Where is it? Where is it?
Can you talk about our beautiful day by the pool today?
No.
That was so nice.
Can we talk about fucking UFC fucking?
Yes. Let's talk about 34 seconds of pure domination by
ronda rousey I didn't know I didn't know what that girl had said about her
father that was the first like when you said that last night that was the first
time I had heard that oh yeah that girl like so one of our
friends that they came over last night that she said something about her dead father and
She don't do that. That's why would you do that?
Ronda already hates you just by virtue the fact that you guys are gonna fight
Why would you throw fuel on that fire by talking about her family?
Like she already just feels like if I step into the ring with you
I want to like kill you hurt everyone that loves you.
That's what her mindset is.
So I don't understand why she thought that was a good idea strategically trying to do
some psychological warfare when she knocked her out.
And Rogan said she went down like she got hit by a sniper.
I'm meeting me.
That goes in his all-time fucking quotes.
Everybody and I live in a burst it out laughing
She looked like she got shot. She did she fell over in that weird posture
We're like you sort of end up falling on your neck
Yeah, bent over at the waist and your ass up in the air like with your on your knees. It's just terrible
Yeah, like somehow your legs stay awake longer than your upper body and you just go in it's look
I respect anybody who goes in and that fucking thing but like, why the fuck would you go in and, and, no, say all that shit?
Not a good idea. Well, she learned, she learned. I usually, I usually root for an underdog,
especially when someone's so dominant, you just want to see a fight or whatever. But once you
said, oh, that shit about her dad, I was like, I don't know what you have to, you have, I was actually upset that she didn't
get to be or longer. Yeah, because she deserves another like 34 seconds.
I felt like the third, the third fun. She had a look on her face like,
oh, fuck, and I thought, and I, I think I said this is already over.
I feel like that need to kind of like caught her off guard. I think she got
a little winded when she got her that like left
Need of the body. She's kind of like, oh, not she got a little I would have started crying. Yeah
Once I got my wind back
Well, I don't know why can't find the question. I don't see one here
Listen to your podcast years. That's the Russia one fucking Ronda Rousey just dumb
It's just it like it's the same thing every time now
It's just to say like she's probably not gonna fight for another couple years
There's no other woman that's lined up ready to fight Ronda Rousey is there like I don't know my friend said she does have another
He thinks maybe she'll fight again another six months or so but like I don't know who
out there can take her I don't I don't give a shit just stick somebody else in front of her
fucking amazing to watch I don't give a fuck to people like you gotta do the pay per view it's only
30 some seconds it's like you're watching a legend you're watching a fucking little she's already
a legend at this point and you're watching I don't think she's in a prime she's through the
armbar thing all the time and I she came in
no I'm bar
i really like that yeah she did she does not have a block off
great
enjoyable
totally fucking enjoyed it
yeah so anyways let's let me get back in the fucking question i like better
when i bring you on in the end
Because then we ride it out because I always feel weird like having you swing by like we don't live together
You know what I mean, okay, well if you can find it. We'll do it on Thursday
Okay, well here's something for you. You'll even yes. I was gonna talk about that paleo diet
Those people try to just tell us the whole thing they need.
Do you want to do paleo?
I think it's fucking hilarious.
Why?
It just means, even mean vegetables.
That's pretty much it.
Well, I mean, that makes sense.
But here, this fucking thing here, oh, by the way, so do you hope that the United States
extradites the dentist back to Zimbabwe?
Do you feel like he should do 10 years in prison and a hard
core prison?
That seems like a little much.
He's going to get butt rigged.
I think I think he should be fine probably a lot like a lot.
No, fuck that.
I think he should be taken back.
At some point, you got to put a value on animals lives.
I agree.
What's the way you're saying he should go to jail?
I think he should. I don't think he should go to jail? I think he should,
I don't think he should go to the hardcore one. Right. I think that he should go to the jail,
being protective custody and through his 10 years, he should have to fix everybody's teeth.
I think for free. He should work in an animal sanctuary, like cleaning up all like the shit
and everything. He can't have that. You can't have that.
That's like having a pedophile work at a kindergarten.
Eventually, he's gonna fucking kill some.
He's gonna kill.
He's gonna be able to...
I mean, he's...
You know, I just tell you something.
That's something a lot of way away.
There's not some law in place about him going and killing that animal.
Because it shouldn't there already be something that he can do that.
No, there is, but he left the country.
He left the country.
He's back here.
So now he's got to get the United States to send one of their own
now the United States we're not gonna send the guy because that's one of our
guys he's got the barcode in the back of his neck and he's not making us any
fucking money if he's by us I mean the Illuminati guys you know what I mean he's
not paying any fucking income tax or any of that type of shit.
He's not walking around, you know, saying what he's supposed to be saying because he got
it out of his TV. You need that zombie. You need that guy. He's a big game hunter. That guy
he's going to be on the side of those. I got to be honest with you. I totally respect
hunting. I think it's the shit. I love animals too, but I think if you go out and you hunt
and then you do it for food or whatever
Or you're doing it to learn how to do it. I respect that go shoot a fucking deer
There's a zillion of them. They're like mosquitoes, but like to go out there and and you know shoot a lion a leopard
Jay these beautiful fucking animals with it. Yeah, dude, believe me. If there was a bunch of fucking it
It would hurt the lines running along the prairies. I mean that's what we would have on the 4th of July
But we're not we fucking killed all of them. I think there's really something like, I don't, what this guy does,
I don't lump all hunters into it. Did he go out on his own? Was he like this row? No, we hired these guys.
I was gonna say he hired people, right? So he had people who knew the terrain. And those guys
are busted. Those guys are going to trial and they're staring at 10 years.
Oh, they are.
Oh yeah, and being a bottom.
I was gonna say, I know he paid somebody like an exorbitant amount of money
in order to do that.
He didn't just go out there on his own.
Yeah, it was incredibly stupid of the people who live there.
And this fucking guy, I don't know, he must have had the size of that duffel bag
that he must have put the fucking head in.
It's just, it's unbelievable.
I love how you're obsessed with the whole the how does the head travel from
to what do you do I don't know how you take a hand to cut it up his ass like
those drug meals you know how you have to fill out those whole cards we travel
we travel internationally it's like are you gonna are you bringing any fruit or
any like wildlife
for any like plants or something?
I got an elephant's head in my double bag.
Do you mind if I look in your bag, sir?
Yes, I do.
Do you have any liquids in there?
No, it's all been drained.
And you know, sharp off, you can't do any of that.
But the fucking with the, I actually
think there's something fucking wrong with you.
If you have to go around and kill the most
deadliest animals to human beings,
like walking around, doing that shit,
I feel like that was an old school,
like Teddy Roosevelt, I'm an insecure guy,
and like you see that?
I can kill that.
I can kill that.
I can kill that.
I can kill that.
I can kill that.
I can kill that. I can kill that. I can kill that. I can kill that. I can kill that. I't kill that. It isn't about like, I can't kill that. I can't kill that. I can't kill that. I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that.
I can't kill that. I can't kill that. I can't kill that. I can't kill that. I can't kill that. I think I'll give him props, who is as he used to crossbow. You know, that's, but of course for you know, I had to fucking laser pointer and shit,
but like I just, I think America has bigger problems
than rich people shooting lions.
Meaning what? They shouldn't, they shouldn't pay attention to this.
I, yeah, I just think there's more important things
to rally behind. I don't really, I mean, I don't,
you know, give a fuck about a lion. I give a shit about this. I yeah, of course. I care about
lions, but I care about human beings more. Who do you care more about lions
or our snoop line? Snoop line. Yeah, I care more about snoop lion than an
actual lion. Yeah. Is it because he has two animal names. Yeah, it's extra snoopy and lion
No, I mean, I just like I said I don't think it's right that he's going over there and I think I am
It's completely wrong, but I think that and I think he should be turned over
Everything that's going on right now. I I don't I can't bring myself to what's going on
What's going on what's going on Just in terms like climate in terms of like politically racially all that stuff all that stuff
I was telling you how I'm afraid for my brother to drive
Medical and racial climate. Yeah, I care more about that than
Alion ends in Bobway. I do. That's just how it goes, but I love lions
Why are you looking at me like that?
It's not that confusing.
No, I don't just fascinated by,
but I was interested in I was sitting there looking at,
like, I think animals are more important
than people at this point.
I feel like that's the, a lot of people's reaction.
They get so upset over animals.
I think it's a very, but I think it's a very weird
where people place their eye Iron when it comes to
rights
I just sometimes feel like the rights of animals seem to be worth more than the rights of some people and I think that's fucked up
I don't
No, it can't more about lions. You care more about a lion and snoop
I can't I care more about snoop and then a lion
I got nothing at snoop. That was a bad I
Just funny though. It was a bad. I just
funny. It was funny though. No, I just think that there's too many of us.
I would definitely rather be in a room full of animals. I think than a room
full of people. No, I wouldn't. I don't live with animals. I don't. And I like
people. There's just too many of us. And the fact that we don't think we're
animals is bizarre to me because we behave way worse than they do. Way worse. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we've completely, you know,
bears don't change rivers and straighten them out and fucking poison them and build new kill. But we're fucking animals. We're animals. Right.
Torture shit, kill shit, kill shit, the kill shit.
We lie and cheat and shit. Well, fucking I'm an animal. We're fucking awful.
But in the same scenario, if I had to choose between that dentist guy and a lion, because you said right, choose a lion or snoop lion. And I said, snoop lion.
But if I had to choose between a lion and that dentist guy, I would choose the lion.
Racist. All right, Nia. Thank you for being here. What have snoop lion killed the lion?
That would be hard. But what if he just sort of he just sort of that lazy laid-back fucking voice justified it?
I don't know. I just don't see Snoop you're not a good in any situation where he would kill a lion
Because he's not gonna he's not gonna fuck with you know what he wouldn't
No, cuz we don't do that. I mean you don't do that. We don't do that. You guys like to do that whole racist. I mean listen to white people like these white these shows about
like wilderness and survival and like naked and afraid it's like I mean there's there was one black
dude that I saw in the commercial but like for the most part and you can always find one person that's
going to be exception of the rule but it's like I don't know why why people feel like they need to constantly like fuck
with animals or like be out in nature naked.
Like we've evolved class that.
I can answer that.
Why are you doing it?
I don't get it.
Cause we're bored.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we don't have a cause.
We're not being oppressed.
It's just.
You need something to give you that sort of
adrenaline rush. 16 hours a day. That's what we jump around and flip around and
skateboards and shit with board. Oh Jesus, that's so terrible. I'm not saying it's
terrible. We just board. Generally speaking white people. Remember, I showed you
that we have a certain income of where board where there's a white guy like standing
on like a cliff like an, I don't know, the Grand Canyon,
or some place really fucking scary,
and it's like, you know, why people will do shit like this,
but then they'll cross the street
when walking on the same side with a black person.
But they'll stand on the ledge of some fucking,
you know, cliff or like, Mount Everest.
It's like, what are you guys doing?
Like, what are you trying to prove with all that?
Wrestling gators in the bayou?
Like, what the fuck is, I don't, what?
I love all that. Why? And Australian fucking accent, and then youators in the Bayou. Like, what the fuck is, I don't, what, I love
all that. And Australian fucking accent. And then you brought up the Bayou and fucking
New Orleans. But like, why, I really though, just what the nature and the fucking with
animals, why do you do that? I mean, can't you do that with every culture and race?
Be like, why do you do that? I suppose, but I feel like white people really
like push the envelope in terms of these extreme experiences
in nature and like, I don't know.
Because we don't have any gangs.
White people have gangs?
What are you talking about?
But they're like a fissure.
There are many, there are many white gangs.
No, but like, okay, name them.
Jessu James gang.
That's a good class class, is that's a gang?
The fucking, I mean, white people have gangs, come on.
You know like in certain, like you know, they're...
No, we have groups.
Groups?
We don't have clubs.
We have clubs, they share.
Governments, we have shit like this.
So I, but I shit is like mainstream.
Okay. I remember a long time ago
I got this fucking hilarious talk with Patrice. Can you can you push that thing so it's not rattling over there? Oh my god
This whole AC situation is is what we live in an old house, okay the fucking
Heaters rattle a little bit
That we run the AC's for like while. He's freezing in here.
Oh goodness.
You got a fucking afghan on.
I know, and I'm still cold.
All right, so I got to the hilarious Arby one day.
Like Patrice, when he used to just get sick of white people,
would, you know, he just would stop coming down
to the club for a little bit.
And then sometimes he would call me up and vent.
Am I a white people?
No, he would vent at me representing white people.
So one time, I'm sitting at home just being white, you know, hanging out, having a fucking
peanut butter and jelly sandwich, phone fucking rings.
I pick it up and like, hello, and he just goes, Bill, he goes, what, what do white people
do?
He didn't even say a lot.
Like, what do you mean he goes, what, what do you do?
I'm like, I was like, did you just get pulled over by a cop?
Like, what, where's this coming from?
Like, what do you mean, what, what do we do?
Like, what, he's like, what do you do? Like, what do you mean? Yeah, he you mean what do we do like what he's like what do you do
Like what do you read the table? Yeah, he's like black people we do this we do that. What do you guys do?
You're going hilarious like you say yeah, but the thing about it is how did you answer him?
I fucking answered him like I go what do you mean what do we do you just don't recognize our shit is mainstream?
It's it's like hiding in plain sight so you don't see it So you don't think that you don't think that there's any sort of culture or anything like what do we do?
The all the XC look at skateboarding okay that came from surfing you know and the fucking ways weren't there
And XC no skateboarding and totally evolved into what that is what stock car
Pollination people were doing stock car racing wait, wait I'm not like Polynesian people were doing. Stock car racing.
Wait, wait, I'm not gonna sit here and have you try to tell me
that white people didn't come up with anything.
I'm just talking.
You fucking do that all the fucking time.
I'm just fucking.
It's the most event ketchup shut up.
But I don't know.
Like skateboarding?
Polynesians came up with skateboarding.
No, no, but skateboarding.
I saw it documentary with dark town and Z boys
and a fucking empty swimming pool at Santa Monica. But I thought skateboarding came from surfing and then this is really
coming from Polynesian people. I don't know. I could be wrong.
Do you thought what? Didn't surfing come from like indigenous people?
No, no, I'm talking about skateboarding. I know, but that skateboarding came from surfing.
It was sort of derived of that culture. Yes, right.
So I'm saying, but didn't surfing come from...
So you're saying what people didn't surfing come from...
So you're saying what people don't get credit for skateboard?
I didn't say that.
I was just asking who came up with a thing
that inspired skateboarding.
Yeah, I'm just wondering.
I'm just wondering.
What?
I thought, this is like literally,
then this becomes the argument ended up
having a petrice.
All right, stop car racing. Stop car racing. Okay., that came out of moonshine. What is that?
Moonshine basically back during prohibition when alcohol was fucking illegal right what you would do is if you were fucking bringing
Illegal booze moonshine
You know cross state lines and all that type of shit. You wanted a fast car, but you didn't want it to look fast.
So what you did was it looked like a stock car.
Like a stock car you got from Detroit.
That just looks like a Chevy.
That looks like a Ford, but underneath the fucking hood, you souped the fucking thing up
and you were able to outrun the cops.
The cops didn't have fucking radios back then.
So these guys that did this shit, all right, would talk shit about my car's faster than your car.
No, it isn't, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So they started racing and that started start car racing.
That's a cultural fucking thing.
So then it's on fucking TV.
So I started listing all of that shit.
He was actually going, he said,
I think one point he went, he said, good answer.
What he said, and I just, and like, like fuck you I'm not asking for your approval it's all fucking conversation is
annoying is that car racing like something that's very important to people like
is it like a big deal I know you're already looking at because I know what you're gonna do
I think I came out wrong I'm not I'm not even gonna get into this conversation
I never gonna go music and then everything I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation.
I'm not even gonna get into this conversation. I'm not even gonna get into this conversation. I'm not even gonna get into this conversation. I'm not even gonna get into this went to I'm right.com and you fucking red shit that said you guys did it.
Like that is the dumbest shit.
Like that whole fucking credit thing is so fucking stupid.
But in Egyptian, it's everybody.
But in Africa, so that's African, so that's black people.
I know, it isn't, no they're not.
Aren't they?
They're African.
Yeah, so that's my point.
Yeah, so like when you see, when you see an Egyptian guy,
you think that guy looks like you
I don't know I feel like some of them are
So I'm French German and Irish your friends. So yeah, I have a little bit of French, but I'm mostly German Irish
Let me finish. Oh, so I'm a European. Uh-huh. So me and Italians. Yeah, we're on the same fucking page
So Ferrari. Yeah, that was us
That was us
So Ferrari yeah, that was us
That was us
That was pasty freckle guys we did that shit give me a fucking break. No you guys invented like vodka and stuff like that
man, no no Irish Russians. Sorry. Sorry I don't know I don't know the history. I mean that's
I don't want to get I didn't want to get into this fucking debate as more of a like a German Irish whiskey
What's the other ones bourbon no is that an American thing?
most scotch is from Scotland bourbons from Kentucky. Yeah whiskey was but Egypt is an
Africa is I think is was nauseous point is that was that a true thing?
Yeah, the Africa is a fucking continent.
Yeah, it is.
Not a race.
True.
It's a continent.
There you go.
So like, can Irish people take credit for shit
that happens in Romania?
Because they're all European?
I feel like there's a reason why this is different,
but I don't know why.
So I'm not going to answer that question.
But I feel like.
Can I fucking have that written on a t-shirt?
Like, I feel like an Egyptian person have that written on a t-shirt like
Egyptian person what the fuck would they necessarily say I'm African or would they say I'm Egyptian they would probably say I'm Egyptian Yeah, but I don't know enough about all I know is that all this is in Africa
So if you met anybody over in Europe saying I'm European
No, they go on French. That's sure. swish. Yeah, swish. I'm Swiss
This is this is actually this is like a toxic this always becomes a toxic conversation
Okay, I will try it. No, I'm not about you and me. I'm just saying it because I don't want to stir up everybody
Because it's very easy. Yeah, you can go off the rails and it becomes this big fucking race you're fucking racist at all this type of shit
Resist the urge to read too much into this people.
Anyways, I'm just so stock cars.
I was a big account for why people is what you were saying.
No, no, no, I'm not saying it's a big account.
Wow, you know what I hate about this conversation?
What I hate about this conversation.
I know it's a feel like that.
I can't say anything. I can't's like that. I can't say anything.
I can't fucking say anything.
If I say anything, that's true though.
If I say anything, then all of a sudden it's this and this.
There's a whole bunch of shit that I'm leaving off.
Because I'll then become, I'll be called a fucking elitist.
Okay, what do we do?
We fucking pretend to go the moon.
That's what we do. The space shuttle. That's the shit. You just see it on TV. That's that's
some shit that we did. I mean, that's that's kind of a cool. No, it's amazing. I know the
astronauts weren't wrapping. They didn't have this space suit hanging off their asses.
I know that.
The kids didn't want, but the kids still wanted to do it.
You have to fuck out of anyone.
Chuck Gager fucking around.
It's cruel, mother fucker out there.
Give me a break.
I'm just getting your go, because I see you
wanting to leave out of your skin right now.
I can say some type of stuff right now.
I'm saying, but I fucking hate when you do that. What? My brother used to do that. Do what?
You just say shit to get me going. I'm being honest with you and I'm saying what I'm feeling. Don't just be sick.
I can't say some shit to get you going. I know you can. You do all the time. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have marked
stock car racing or any of that stuff. That was a nice.
Yeah, the thing you know what the fuck? You know, one of the greatest things about stock car racing or any of that stuff. That was a nice. Yeah, the thing you know what the fuck? One of the greatest things about stock car racing is what's going the level of intellect in the pit versus
across the racetrack sitting in the stands. That's why I love going
or car racers. And is that why people think they're elitist or something?
No, because you got these guys like what the fuck they have to do? Because it's so
regulated now just to try to squeeze and then the fucking hundredth of a hundredth of a second to try and win this fucking race
the level of science
Physics and all that shit that's involved that these guys the fucking egghead shit that's going on in there and then right across the track
It's just fucking
I don't know I I went to the Indianapolis 500 two years in a row. I went to drag racing. Do you know in between races, they pull the whole fucking engine out and rebuild the whole goddamn
thing in between races. There's a whole team of guys. Why? I don't know why because it matters
that much. everything has to be
brand new okay like that cool song you guys made up right brand new everything
sorry everything has to be fucking brand because if it isn't if it isn't a
brand new fucking engine the amount of money they could cost you that split
second of cost you is a different like six figures a lot of money that's what
they're doing when they stop and all the guys run over and they're like
no no and drag and drag racing. They're they're changing the engine. I thought they were just like
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no wiping off the windshield. No
I'm not talking I'm sorry. Put them oil in something maybe. No no in that type of racing.
Gentlemen's done your engine? That's right.
And hang one of those little air fresheners
from the rearview mirror.
Right.
No, no, I'm talking about in drag racing.
You know those long skinny cars with the big
fucking tires, then they got the parachute
comes out in the back.
The engine sits behind the driver.
I see.
They've finally figured out to do that.
After years of them trying to see around it.
Why do they have a parachute though?
Don't they have brakes?
They do, but it's going 300 miles an hour.
Oh, so you need all the help you can get?
Yeah, and they don't have flaps to put it down,
and you can't reverse the engine like a plane.
I see.
And they're landing faster than a fucking 747,
but it doesn't weigh as much, but there's a neck.
That's all the fucking physics.
And it's also probably probably if they stop quicker
They don't have to fucking make his big of a track and that saves the guy owns the track money all of this shit all of this fucking nerdy egghead shit
All right, okay, so this is what white people do they get on a fucking
They get on they get on a they get on a dirt bike and
They get on they get on a they get on a dirt bike and
They figure out how to go off a ramp and flip in the air two times over and they land into foam And they figure out how to do that and then they try to land. Yeah, they they they were we're bored
We're fucking bored white people need gangs again like if you notice like white people
In the 20s
You when you had the gangs in New York was at the 1800s of fucking right
We would you know what it was I know I could really try
I could really try to wipe people right now. I could really say some mean shit about us
Once the genocide in this country was over and there was nothing left, we just
got bored and we just started fucking with animals. There's really something.
Evil about white people? I mean, I just feel like you're always trying to take over something
or like oppress somebody, or like hurt someone, like why? I would say this. Please explain.
I don't think it's a white thing.
It is an opportunity thing.
And most people.
So there's an opportunity for.
Well, if you notice, look at this business.
If you look at most people in this business,
you see when they get a little something,
how it affects them.
Some people, I find with it, a lot of people
when they get a little bit of power,
I'm talking just getting a fucking, you know,
enough money to have your little personal assistant, you know?
I asked for dick half, you know,
they start doing shit like that, right?
And you're talking about it's such a fucking
basic level.
When you get to the operational, when you're talking about,
like, you're gonna start a fucking war, and you're actually gonna profit off of it.
I mean, and you go into those fucking parties where everybody wears a mask and you sort of walk
away from your wife and come back later and act like you didn't fuck 40 women on a pile of gold.
Like human beings can't have to be kept in check. We can't handle that level of power
So as fucked up as white people look if you really read a little bit
You know, I'm not read I know you read all the time
But if you read about you know, you go over to Asia
You know, there's some characters over there that will give white people a run for
their money.
And I mean, I don't know.
Yeah, well, that's a very arrogant fucking attitude.
Why don't you read it first?
Okay.
Yeah, check out some of the stuff, you know, go over there and bring up Japan with anybody
who doesn't live in Japan about some of the shit that they did.
I really want to go to Japan, though. I really want to go to Japan though.
I really want to go to Japan.
I know, because you saw lost in translation.
And you're not going to read about it.
You're going to keep that in that white people.
That's not the reason why.
Listen.
I mean, that was, I mean, it's definitely how it's done.
I used to do a bit in my F saying that white people
are the Jordans of evil.
Like every group has their head.
We're, I don't know, we're innately good at it.
Don't you want to go to Japan though? Don't you want to see Tokyo?
I heard it's incredible. I like it. I love the food and all that.
I'm not listening. I'm not shiingling out Japan either.
Like they're any fucking worse than anybody else,
but they got some characters over there that have done some things.
Well, you know, hopefully, we insulted them a little bit.
Between like the
stock car racing and everything else like hopefully you guys will come back from,
you know, the brink because I feel like your PR rep is asleep at the wheel. What
do you mean? Listen, one of the great things about being white is you just don't
give a shit. What other people think about you Clearly. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what you think.
Why would I give a shit?
You know what I mean?
Where am I going?
Where is the question I was supposed to be asked?
I'm trying to find it right now.
Yeah, I went easy on you, by the way, with skateboarding
and stock.
I went easy.
OK.
I could have, you know, I could have brought you
the other shit you bring up though, then it's considered fucking racist, even if it easy. I could, I could, you know, I could, the other shit you bring up though
then it gets considered fucking racist even if it happened. I say, well we would have done that if we had the
opportunity. Right? Isn't that what all the women say? I would have benched press 600 pounds
if I was allowed to go to a gym. Oh, ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh.
Oh my God, how funny was it last night?
We're not gonna name names here, okay?
But after the fight, when my buddy, right, me,
in my buddy hanging out, I'm in my late 40s,
he's in his early 50s.
Ah, fuck you.
I'm not gonna say anybody's name.
No, no, no, no.
Nia, Bill. Nea, Bill. Oh, God, you're such a
fucking party, pooper. That was just the generation gap there was fucking layers.
I could do some advertising here before you fucking. Oh, my God, it's almost an hour over.
It's almost a 50 hour. No, I'm saying the hour it. Oh my god, it's almost an hour over. It's almost a 50. An hour over?
No, I'm saying the hour's almost over.
I have like fucking verbal dyslexia, I can't even talk.
So you're gonna walk out of the engines,
you just don't think white people have done anything?
Not culturally.
Is there anything that we get credit for artistically
that spikedly or some other grumpy guy
with black frame glasses? Isn't gonna come along and say well actually
fucking
Pine top Johnson fucking did that originally I
Feel like you guys probably were the ones that started like using like a jug like blowing on a jug as an answer
Like I feel like that was a that sounds like a jug, like blowing on a jug as an instrument. Ha ha ha. Who, who, who, who, who, like I feel like that was a, that sounds like a white invention.
Not invention, but just like blowing on it somehow,
like, we've stopped with this passive version of
drinking like all the moon shine.
Remember you talked about moonshine earlier,
like drinking moonshine and then putting it down and going,
whoo, that was a lot of moonshine.
And it was like, oh, that makes a who, who, who, who, and then you came down and going, oh, that was a lot of moonshine. And it was like, oh, that makes a, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
and then you came up with that.
Ha, ha, ha.
Really starting to wonder why you married me.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Well, okay, I'm going to leave you to do your advertising.
Okay, why don't you go read up on some things?
Okay.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay, why don't you go read up on some things?
How smart was that I did not take the bait come to Russia
All right, I think this is a travel one. Maybe you could be into this. Okay. I
Wish sweaters we think of that
Everybody's neck was cold until white people came along started started knitting
Come to come to Russia
Hey Billy Kami Redfield you guys started barbecuing you started that
Mm-hmm, and then we took that from you. Yeah, we take it from you. We just influenced you still allowed to do it
I don't know it is so that you took it from you. We just influence you still allowed to do it. I know it is good that you took it from us
What about all those blues musicians they never heard music before?
They never heard
They didn't fucking they just slowed it down
What are you talking about Beethoven played all those blues notes?
Beethoven yeah, there's Beethoven in American. I'm trying to play Beethoven played all those blues notes. Beethoven. Yeah. Was Beethoven an American? I'm just seems white.
Oh, okay.
You're still, oh, you're still on it.
I'm still on it.
All right.
Okay.
Can we just move on to the question?
Come on, I like this.
He shit's fun to me.
You don't think that was funny?
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.
No.
It's really not.
There's really only seven notes.
Everybody kind of played. Everybody's showing. ukulele face all right come to russia
Hey billy commie red face. I've been listening to your podcast for for over a year now
And I was really excited to hear about your eastern European tour next year
But I'm pretty sure you don't even think about going to russia. Yeah, I do
Moscow it's right near the Baltic States. I'm going to try to go to Lithuania
and fucking those other two ones that are there. Estonia. That's two out of three. It's not bad for an
American. Okay. And Bala Muck. I can go to Moscow. Charlie crew went there. You ready to party Moscow. Yeah, on MTV.
Hair metal hair metal scene. Oh, white people definitely came up with that. Yeah, dressing up like a lady and singing rock
Santa Claus came up with that. I thought Santa Claus was like a no not like I don't know. It's Santa Claus black
No, it's from another country though Say that be the courteous name ever for a black guy. All right. Hey Billy com here at fist
Bob over there. I'm pretty sure you never think about Russia
I know it's very unlikely for an English speaking comedian to visit but Dylan Moran and Eddie is there did it a couple
You have Eddie is it probably did it in Russian?
Guys like Albert Einstein telling jokes did it did a couple years ago and it turned out great
Well, if you decide to come here after all you should not you should bring near sorry You guys like Albert Einstein, I'm telling jokes. Did it a couple of years ago when it turned out great.
Well, if you decide to come here after all,
you should not, you should bring Nia.
Sorry, my eyes went to Nia, I saw the end.
You should bring Nia.
Okay.
And visit St. Petersburg, not only because
that's the second largest city in Russia,
and I lived there, but because of the beautiful architecture.
Lots of museums, I hate museums.
I hate museums.
Fucking go in there
looking at plates and shit. There's a spoon somebody is in the 1500s. Oh yeah. You can see the
beginning of the microwave in this structure and all that crap. I think she'd love it here.
I also hope you'll at least consider St. Pete as it's not far away from Scandinavia and
everything here has become way cheaper for tourists because of our weak currency
Now it was in St. Petersburg
Then that used to belong to Finland and they beat Russian World War two
But they would down with Hitler and then they had to give up that part
Or is that something else? I have no idea. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Why would you but if you go there?
I'm pussy riot is playing somewhere. I'd love to check them out
Well, how would you do that? Why would I do what? Go see pussy right and Brooklyn put some fucking nerdy way kid that wants to be naked on TV for six months
That's what you do. You don't see it in Russia. We get arrested to show when you claim
Can't show you claim in Russia
On the on the unrelated note I subscribed to Netflix just to watch your show
last December because you just couldn't stop bitching about the pirating like
how he turns it around on me like I'm the asshole and Netflix is not even
available in Russia so I have to use the V P N and shit oh poor fucking baby
I go see how much we love you here please come to our beautiful and totally
not hostile country and see it for yourself that's not what a cab driver told me when I was
over there in Europe say you got to be careful in Moscow after dark but then again
you got to be careful here please come to our beautiful Toledo always yeah
what the fuck I would love to see you St. Petersburg I think that would be really
cool you know be funny if it's a totally fucked up city and this guy hates me
and he just lures me over there. He beats
me over the head with my mixer. All right, female coach, a Billy but kiss. Thoughts on the
Cardinals hiring of female coach, I hear she can take a hit. I think she's got what it takes
or is it a publicity stunt? does that mean take a hit I think
it's football I had no idea that they did it you didn't read about this I know I tapped
out on the news during Hillary Clinton Bruce Jenner and somewhere around there I just I
just I've been too busy to watch anything on the news I heard that there was a woman
that was hired to be an NFL coach but I don't you know I don't follow football so that seems like a very big deal. Why? Because they've never had a female coach before.
Yes, but how is that like how is that going to affect wins and losses?
It probably won't matter what gender you are. It's like a quota thing.
Yeah.
But it's still like, it's never been done before.
So it's historical, right?
Yes, it is.
It is a story.
We have yet to learn any lessons, if any, just yet, but it's a big deal that it's happening.
It's a publicity stunt.
It's not a publicity stunt.
I'm not saying she's not qualified, but this is what the NFL is a corporation and every quarter they have to have a
Show a gain
That's just how a corporation works and they try to make more money. So they have reached every possible fucking football fan
All right, they did that years ago
So then they started bringing in people like Britney Spears to sing during the Super Bowl,
just trying to get people hooked on it and then they wear pink for a whole fucking month.
Now they're getting in with trying to get in with the ladies, they're trying to get more,
it's just, I think it's a business move.
That's going to be disguised as forward thinking, I'm not saying she's bad and not qualified or anything,
but I just think that that's why they're going to do that.
I don't care for shit.
I don't have to, I don't care for fuck if she's good and they win that I think it's a
good move.
If she stinks, unfortunately all the other women behind her will be judged.
So I imagine she has a lot of pressure.
It's just weird when you go into the locker room. You know what I mean? Everybody standing there with their dicks
out and shit. You know what I mean? Now they got to cover up. It's weird. You'd rather
they just be able to stand around with their dicks out and not have to worry about covering
up. Well, I mean, I don't think like that does the male coach walk into the females locker
rooms, is this sitting there taking off their sports bras? Probably not they go look we got to get out there in a second half and shave your clamp
Probably not
Definitely not to them afterward definitely not not in the lot so she probably does the same thing definitely not in there
Like talking to them like there's no way no, but you got back then that then that hurts her as a coach that should can't go in there
And they're standing there with her dicks out because she's got her as a coach because they go in and they discuss
Strategy during half time you go into the locker room to talk about that are they naked during half time?
No, but after the game you talk about the next week and that type of shit, but somebody got hurt
It's a locker room somebody Somebody's got their dick out.
It just happened.
Somebody's got to take a shit at half time.
It fucking happened.
I guess that's what I was wondering.
Do you have to be naked just because you're in the locker room?
Yeah, and this is what's gonna happen.
This is what's gonna, oh, the adjustment.
They're just gonna keep adjusting it.
Okay.
Yeah, and then a guy can't have his dick out and a fucking men's locker room.
Oh, the injustice of it all. You see what I'm saying though? You guys just keep encroaching,
encroaching and crotching and then we always have to adjust to you. You guys do not adjust to us.
Well, if you're walking into a men's locker room, there's going to be a dick out. You have to
either it's fucking deal with okay or you have somebody going
Then take some notes. I'm sure she's preparing to deal with any dick center out. I'm sure I'm sure of you fine
Good guys she needs to worry you guys you guys are obsessed with us
Well, yeah, yeah, okay your obsessed with keeping your dick out in the locker rooms. No, no, I'm saying you guys are obsessed with us
Yeah, we're I'm saying you guys are obsessed with us. Yeah, we're totally
obsessed with you. Yes. Why can't you guys just start your own shit and fucking go do that?
Well, it's not a start car company. Why do you guys always have to come? It's a men's football league.
There was a woman's football league. I wouldn't give a fuck. I got to get in there Staying next to some clams. It's got strategy. I'd let you have your fucking deal
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and the most loving way ever
Can you fuck off for three hours on a Sunday can we just have a minute?
Jesus Christ the shit that said in a locker room, then they're going to get offended.
There, I love it. I love it. The NFL is doing this. I guarantee there's going to be something,
something fucked up happens. There's going to be a lawsuit. Didn't that happen years ago?
It happened in Boston, right? The fucking, the woman went in there and these guys acted
like fucking immature idiots. And then there was a lawsuit.
Then she had to go to New York.
It was a fun guy to sell the team.
It was nuts.
I don't know what I don't know what I'm talking about.
Dicks being out in locker rooms.
Yeah.
Nothing good.
Very bad.
I can't happen about that.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I'm uncomfortable in a fucking locker room.
I go to the goddamn gym.
You fucking go in there. Okay.
You're staring at your eyelids
But eventually you're gonna walk by somebody taller than you
It's gonna be hanging down
You're in a men's locker room. You're gonna see a dick. It's just happened
I was gonna say men don't like talk to each other like make it in the locker room
So the other day I went to this all
That's a guy. There's always the nake. Well, this is not there's also a generational thing as far as being comfortable
Being naked around another man in a locker all like the old guys don't care. They don't give a fuck
Yeah, they do they grew up in the little rascals era
They they like the parents bedroom and then all the kids
slept in the same fucking bed
with a dog and like a fucking
Wolverine right
Then you had my generation. I was one of the last generations that in gym class
The guys gym class you went in and when you showered it was just this communal fucking shower and you didn't win in there like a bunch of cattle.
Fuck you.
No stalls or anything.
Everyone's just in there.
Just went in there.
There's a bunch of like shower heads all around.
Yeah, but no stalls.
And that started in sixth grade.
I remember I've never been in this first week.
The first week.
The first week of gym class.
Only like six kids had the fucking balls no pun intended to take the shower
And they went in the shower and it was wide open like all the lockers were all the way around it
Mm-hmm school I went to so you could like they walked in that dude and me and like there was like six other guys
We were laughing like hysterically
These are kids I knew all the way to grade school and they came walking by butt ass naked
It's the thing about a naked guy. It's either the funniest thing ever are absolutely terrified
spending
On the situation and it was fucking hilarious, but after like two three weeks
It was normal and no one gave a shit and
We were part of the last like generation and we thought it was like when we heard like the women's
Jim they they had their own little private showers,
which was weird to me.
You think the guys would be fucking more weirded out?
We were actually more advanced than you guys,
more mature, we could all shower together
and be after the first week and be mature.
I don't know if that's what that really means.
What doesn't mean?
That we're all secreted in games.
You know, you're all animals.
Just throw you in there and hose it down.
I know.
That's really what it was.
Yeah, yeah, fuck the animals.
Yeah.
So anyway, so there's different levels of,
like generational, you know what I mean?
That guys will just, like old guys don't give a fuck.
They don't give a fuck.
And then there's the weird guy who also doesn't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And then there's the weird guy who
also doesn't give a fuck. You don't know what he's doing. That guy you come walking in, right?
Did Jim I go to like you can see like you come walking in the lockers are to the right.
And then straight ahead is like the sink area with the mirror and shit. And like you know I
walked in there one time and there was a guy standing there
completely naked except flip-flops shaving.
And I just, I walked in, I just went,
yes, really?
He can't fucking just throw a towel on.
Anyways.
I'm just saying,
Dicks be out in the locker room. All right big green egg. Hey Bill
Congratulations on the new big green egg actually he's had it for a couple years
I'm not by any means an expert, but I've been experimenting since December with mine based on your description
We have about the same setup egg the guru with two probes and a fan rib rack etc
I also have a pan that I keep water and
yep I've seen that, uh, made you put on the plate set, all right, uh, and put it in there while I'm
smoking. All right. So he says I put it on top of the smoking plate. Yes, just like I've seen in
the YouTube videos, he goes, I'm not sure how much of a difference it makes, but it seems to keep
the inside of the big green egg pretty human and it catches a lot of the drippings. A few pointers. Keep the charcoals at the line.
All right, that's the fill-up line.
I think that's what they said.
Soak the chips, but don't soak the chunks.
You can soak the chunks, but they smoke just fine
without soaking.
Yeah, tickery.
It just smokes, right?
It's easy to get the big green egg hotter, but really hard to get the temperature lower if you overshoot. The
temperature is all about airflow. The top vent on a slow cook, 225-ish is cracked
to about a quarter inch. This is what I've seen on YouTube. When you clean out
the ash, make sure you have it cleaned. You've cleared all the holes on the
bottom of the grill. They can usually clog up in the big green egg mold perform like it usually does.
This is if you're going to smoke something.
For ribs, I've had luck with the yellow mustard spice rub combo.
Dude, you watched the same fucking YouTube videos like this.
That's the ass of this.
This is the video you showed me with the mustard.
Yeah, prep the ribs the night before, make sure you remove the membrane from the ribs
before you rub it down and make sure the ribs out of the fridge and let them get to room temperature before you slap them on the smoker. Usually
takes about eight hours or so for three racks. I can't wait to try this. I just set the
temperature to 225 and let them go until the ribs get to 190. I wrapped them in foil and let them
rest about 20 minutes. Dude, I cannot fucking wait to do that. I'm gonna get good at that shit I'm gonna try ribs and a pork shoulder
This month hopefully oh
All right, let's get through this because this thing's gonna take forever for me to upload
All right, yeah, you want to go yeah, all right good to see you. That was a fun one
I love the jug thing that The jug thing was good.
I feel pretty strongly about that joke.
You got so passive aggressive.
You're like, so like, hey,
uh,
fucking with that Ronda Rousey fest
once she could talk about a,
you know, she talks about,
I always say everybody's name.
Am I saying name right? Ronda Rousey?
Yeah.
Alright, she fucking gets that fucking dead look on her face like
yeah, destruction is about to happen. All right. Eating help. Oh, by the way, most of those fights kind
of stunk on that one except for that one where the guys ended just doing the rock and sock,
I'm bleeding all over each other. That was just my wife fucking freaks out When that shit happens not like freak it out like oh my god gross. She loves it
Standing up screaming at the TV grounded pound grounded pound. Yes, I fucking love it
Lunatic all right eating help dear Bill bills and roses. Hello from Wisconsin
Ah the badges I'm 22-old factory worker and guitarist.
Jesus Christ.
I used to work in a fucking warehouse and I played drums
with a bunch of musicians.
How do you guys always end up in the fucking factory?
Oh, the factory's not a warehouse.
Bill, just read the goddamn question.
I've been a fan of yours for five to six years
and one of first thank you for everything you put. All right right nothing looking forward to F is for family got to get that plug in there
okay the reason I'm writing to you is I for my entire 22 years of existence have had a hard
hard have had a hard gut that I never ever been able to shake off earning myself the nickname teapot and an early age for my short and stout appearance. Oh
God, that's hilarious
I'm a little teapot short and stout and they started calling you teapot
Oh, and you started having fantasies of murdering all of them
Anyways, I wouldn't say I'm obese, but I'm certainly starting to lose the battle of the bulge while I get a bit of exercise
Some work and hit the gym once in a while. My diet is complete shit.
The thing is, I was raised on takeout, fast food,
and fried fats.
Dude, the fact that you're not a big tea pot
is pretty amazing there.
So that's already a victory.
He says, I literally don't know how or what to eat
a way to start for that matter.
All right, well, I would go on the internet
and I would start looking up nutrition.
Alright, shocker that this West consummative is a shitty eater, most where most of the
populations looks like they could play old line for Mr. Rogers in the Packers. Could you
please give a few days worth of meals to eat to lose pounds? I figured now it's the time to
get in shape, absolutely, and attract a cutie so I can start to build my empire.
All right, P.S. Tom Brady is innocent,
and anyone who thinks otherwise is just upset
because they have to watch their team
each shit every Sunday.
Unlike our powerhouse dynasty teams,
best luck, best to break the Patriots organization.
See that?
See that, what happens when you get respect to the Packers?
The true New York Yankees of the fucking NFL, because they won all, they won in every fucking era other than the
20 years after Lombardi and Bart Star, you know, they went to Lindicke, the magic man,
and then they got Brett Farve and then it's been all good.
These to be, they fucking won championships in the 1930s all the way I've already read off all that fucking champion NFL
Championship Super Bowl championships whatever championship existed whatever era they fucking wanted they one more than anybody else
All right here we go
All right, well all right. This is what I every day what I've been doing is I have oatmeal in a banana
I don't put anything in the oatmeal. No milk, no sugar,
no honey, none of that fucking shit. I have that. And then for a snack between that and lunch,
I have an apple. And then for lunch, I have a sandwich with a side salad. Sometimes I just have
the meat and no bread. And that's if I'm, you know, I weigh myself every day and I try to lose two
to three pounds and if I feel like I'm off course
I won't have the fucking bread
and
Then I don't know between like fucking
Lunch and dinner. I don't know what I have I
Usually try to eat something healthy if the worst thing I'll do is maybe cereal or I'll scramble a couple of eggs
And then for dinner either go totally veggie or I do the protein the size of my hand, my palm of my hand, I should say, and a side salad. None of this shit is
groundbreaking. You can find all of that online. And I try to stop eating like around, you
know, six-ish, around six o'clock. After that, I just drink water the whole night. And if
I'm hungry, I have pre-cut celery sticks in the refrigerator that I will either just eat those or if I'm really feeling kind more hungry than that
I will have like a half a spoon or a spoon full of peanut butter and you fucking do that and you add cardio
The fats got nowhere to go at least for me and it's just been falling off my body
Although I'm still disgusting man. I could still sit here and just grab a nice fucking handful
But whatever man, I've lost ten point two pounds
ten point i'm shaving down the ham here people
alright boston hates the olympics this is the last one
uh... hey there billy jimrat i read boston won the bid to host a twenty twenty four
olympic games but the city couldn't get the citizens behind it
apparently boston residents don't want the games to be held there
i thought that was weird because boston always seems very proud of America to me. I
figured they'd be stoked about hosting the games. They root for a team called the
Patriots but have little or no interest in watching America's finest athletes compete.
I would like to hear your take on this and I'd also like to know what position
you take on the matter if you were living back east. Thanks to go fuck yourself.
Yeah, what kind of fucking moron wants the Olympics in their town?
You don't want the Olympics in your town.
You want the Olympics in the city that's close to you.
So you can drive to it if you want to go see it.
Like I wouldn't want it in Boston.
I put it in Hartford.
I don't want to deal with that fucking traffic.
The traffic's already fucked up as it is.
You don't need a bunch of people coming over here.
And it's not, is it the winter at Olympics at least?
Olympic hockey would be the shit,
but nobody gives a fuck about track.
The high jump at all of that shit.
I don't wanna see that.
I like the winter at Olympics.
And even then, fucking put it in a Hampshire.
There's too much traffic in Boston.
They got like 40 highways and they all fucking merged
right at the TD bank North garden
And there's no way to go they stuck it all underground because it's so fucking annoying to look at and they put a park over the top
But top of the thing and they try to act like it isn't happening. It's a complete fucking shit show
Yeah, it's a shit show when there isn't the Olympics
All right, we don't we don't need that shit. We don't need that shit. All right
Fuck that you want the Olympics you you take them we'll come and visit you you don't
I mean that's like that ol' analogy I said my brother taught me about having a
boat he's like you don't have a boat you want to have a friend who has a boat then
you just show up with the 12 pack and you're a hero and then you fucking leave
at the end of the day and he's got to deal with the barnacles and and dock in
the fucking thing that's the same thing with the Olympics you don't want the Olympics in your city the only people want the Olympics in the city are the people that make money off a
Building the tents and the shit that the people the tents the fucking state that those people want it there
Nobody else wants it fucking there and by the way, they're not the finest fucking athletes
Okay, the finest fucking athletes get paid
You know what I mean?
They're professional athletes are amateurs
So it's sports open Mike
Who the fuck wants to watch that and have a tie up traffic? All right everybody. That's how I feel on that shit
I hope you enjoyed that debate that fund the beta just had with me
What is I gonna say what else do I got I keep saying it's fun?
So I just please please don't if you're gonna be fucking ugly about it
Just write to somebody else's podcast. Just try to have a good sense of humor about the shit. Okay, we've all contributed in our own little way
Culturally, racially, humanly, all of that. All right, don't be fucking morons. All right. So anyways, that's a podcast for this fucking week
I'll check in on Thursday. That's a podcast. Thank you so much for listening.
Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday. Good fit. Good fit. Good fit. Good fit. Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit.
Good fit. Good fit. Good fit. Good man. Good man.
You have to get this job.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man.
Good man. Good man. Okay, here we go. 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc
1 tbc
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1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc Good man!
you