Morbid - Episode 414: Listener Tales 63

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

Listener tales 63 brought to you by you, for you, from you, and ALL ABOUT YOU!!!! We've got a great batch of tales as usual. This installment has kidnappings halted by pink sparkly UGGs, vibrators possessed, and a DISNEY FUCKIN' PRINCESS paranormal experience. Woah.Send us your own listener tale!! Send them to [e-mail] with Listener Tales somewhere in the subject line See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to morbid, early, and ad-free on Amazon music. Download the app today. You're listening to Immorbid Network Podcast. Hi, I'm Lindsay Graham, the host of Wondries Podcast American Scandal. Our newest series looks at the Kids for Cash Scandal, a story about two judges who stood accused of making millions of dollars in a brazen scheme that shattered the lives of countless children. Listen to American scandal on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey weirdos, I'm Alena.

And I am Ash. And this is your morbid. It's brought to you by you for your friend me when I'll about you baby! Wait, it's listener tail. The first I'd like to tell a story about me because it's host tails. Yeah. This is literally not even a tail. It's just this scary.

It's scary. This has never happened to me before. So we recorded like a bunch of episodes today and then took like a little tiny break and I ran to the gym because you know, fitness. Fitness. I've got to be in,

snatched in that wedding dress now. But so I'm coming back from the gym because you know fitness fitness. Nothing will miss. Gotta be and snatched in that wedding dress. No, but so I'm coming back from the gym. And last night, me and Alina had gone out together because you know, we go out and party. And we go out, you know, and I was like, one to our friend's house. We went to my keys and gave, yeah, my hand daves, the stars of the show. Exactly.

It was so much fun. And but we were coming down this really windy road. And I was like, oh, you know what? I saw a deer here the other day, like, let me, let me chill, mullo belly, go a little slower. And I literally said that last night. Yep.

I'm leaving the gym. It's like, I don't know, like six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock maybe, it's dark. It's dark, but it's like busy still. And I'm on a busy road. And I'm just, you know, cruising along, listening to Megan V. Stallion, like easy, does it,

easy does it do it because all the sudden this fucking baby deer just shoots out in front of me. This has never happened to me in my life. But baby. My automatic breaks were like, scurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm hitting a sweet little baby dance. Sweet little baby dance. It was so scary. That is scary. It's scary. My heart's still a beaten. I came in. I mean, I hope it's still a beaten. I mean, yeah, it's still a no in though. I came in and I was like, John, oh my god,

it was actually really cute. I was like, the scariest thing just happened to me and he was like, what? And he loved it. So I have to kill immediately. It was like that face. I was like, oh, no, no, I'm okay. I'm all right.

It was not as very animal. But yeah, that's my tail, y'all. Damn, I'm really glad you didn't hit a baby deer.'m okay. I'm all right. It was not as nice as the animal. But yeah, that's my tail, y'all. Damn, I'm really glad you didn't hit a baby deer. Me too. I'm real glad. I would have been so sad. I texted my friend. I was like, I almost just had an ant wear through my skull.

That would have sucked. Yeah, you know, there's one way to go. You know what? There's a listener tail for you. You're welcome. I'm a listener. I'm a listener here. And a host.

There you go. But I think that dovetails really nicely into our first thing. Do you wanna read it? Yeah, I'll read the first one. Let's go. Let's see, it's called Ghost Grandma Give Snow White Snow White.

It means dear, you know? Yup, Ghost Grandma Give Snow White Attitude in Cinderella's Castle. A story from a real-life Disney princess. I'm going to Disney soon. I need to hear about the else. On night, I know. Okay, so we got an anonymous.

Anonymous. No name, and that is okay. Let's see. And that is okay. That is okay. I just want to make sure I don't say your name by accident. Don't do that. Hello, you beautiful spooky bitches.

I've attached a putt-a-fah for you telling one of my many paranormal experiences I've had while working at Disney. This ghostly grandmother is a face I will never forget. I love that you work at Disney. I've been holding on to this file for a while. Just couldn't gather the courage to send it in. But when I listened to your terrifying amusement parks episode, that was with Bridget and Holly.

And I was just talking about that today. Yes. Go listen to Girl's Next Level podcast. It's really great and they deserve all the greatness ever. I felt like this was relevant. I do need to remain anonymous, unfortunately, so I don't lose my job. We got you. But I'll add any info at the bottom of this

in case you ladies want any more info. Thanks, DevDeb. If you happen to show the girls this, even if it doesn't make it onto the pod, it did. It did, Here we are. Just knowing y'all read, even read my story will make me shit by pants. Anyway, love you lots. Shit.

You're a pants. Shit. Shit. You're a pants. And we love you. Also, the way you said anyway reminded me of Blizzow. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Oh, I love that. Anyway.

Dear lovely morbid ladies. First, that's not how it's done. I don't know what you're like's like what you like that is different First I have to start with the same gushing about how amazing you two are that you hear of every listener Taylor I like on us on blushing my neurodivergent brain tends to hyper fixate on things regularly. Oh Hello We're friends But fizzle out almost as quickly and your pod has lasted longer than any other.

Oh, I feel really special there. That made my heart swell. Yeah. I joined the Weirdo Cup in over a year ago and I quickly got all caught up. My mom and I live in different states and we love calling each other to talk about cases or recommend episodes to each other.

I love that. Oh. I've even been trying to get my boyfriend to listen as he already hears me compare literally everything to the West Memphis 3K's, you are me. So he might as well listen to the episodes and know what I'm talking about.

Your voices help to calm my very chaotic brain at times when nothing else can. Wow, that makes me feel really good. For that, thank you, because you helped me to center myself on my breaks throughout my spare very stressful days. I sit in Cosmetology, getting ready for work for an hour a day and you two are always in my ears.

Not to mention, it sometimes feels like I'm getting away with listening to something listening to true crime at work. I'm picturing this in my head, and it's making me so happy. I love it. I would also like to forewarn you that I'm currently coming off of a 13-day migraine. 13 days. So my brain feels a bit like Jello. Oh my god. 13 days. So my brain feels a bit like jello. Oh my God.

13 days. I can't handle a 13 hour migraine. Never mind a 13 day migraine. You've had like, I feel like you've had like two day ones. I've definitely had a couple of days, but 13. Oh my God. After the second day, I'm done skiing. I feel like I'm just like solving.

I've never knock on wood. How do migraine? Oh, that just makes me sad. Well, that being said, please feel free to edit this to make it flow better if you end up reading this on the pod. No, I've read it how you write it. Because you're beautiful. So now I'm with the story.

I almost burped in the microphone. I'm sorry. I work for potentially the most successful call to all time. That's right. Walt Disney. Walt Disney World. Walt Disney World. For this reason, I'll need to remain anonymous as I would like to keep my job

and this company loves to terminate for any reason. And I will not say your name, but I love your name. Just so you know, cool name. I'll attach photos for my job for proof because Pixar didn't happen. I love you. Now, I feel I must explain that my family has strong Native American and Celtic Irish roots. I love you. Now, I feel I must explain that my family has strong Native American and Celtic Irish roots. I love that.

And we are all very in touch with the supernatural. I scrolled in. You're the most beautiful being. Oh my god, you are. Are you joking me? Oh, get the fuck out of here. You. Wow. You you get to get to do it all get out of here. Okay. I can't. We're all very in touch with the supernatural, but myself, especially. I've always had connections to the paranormal and throughout my life, I've seen, I've seen, heard, and felt things that as a lady might put it. Science just can't explain yet. Over the years, though, I've made a conscious effort to block a lot of this out because no one should have to see some of the things that are out there and trust me. You never get the image out of your brain.

The day I'm going to tell you about is no exception. So let's hop in a lane, it's way back machine. And go back to Prepanini. Oh, what a time. I was upstairs in the restaurant, Cinderella's Royal Table in the castle. I'll attach a photo of the restaurant so you can get a feel for the layout of this place

as not only is it beautiful, beautiful. It's a beautiful, but for some reason my brain thinks it's important to understand this story. Okay. We as characters have what we call a rotation. That's predetermined to lead us from table to table and we try not to divert from it unless we must. This way we can keep track of which tables we've met with and avoid the wrath of the angry

moms. When we accidentally skip their table because, yes, Karen, I absolutely meant to skip your child's. I must have a personal vendetta against your four-year-old, and it's totally not because I'm on a 13-day work streak with no day off in sight. Oh, I digress. Anyway, we try to stick to our reset rotation, but if we don't see drinks on the table, we assume you haven't seen your server yet, and as to be good partners with them, we try to let them see you first so they can turn their tables faster

and keep the flow of the restaurant the money smoothly. That's really kind of you guys. All this stresses me out because that's a lot to adhere to. It is. It is. I would fuck it up without even walking

into the fucking restaurant. I'd be like, wow, I fucked it up. But also, that's really cool of you guys that you look out the fucking restaurant. I'd be like, wow, I fucked it up. But also, that's really cool of you guys that you look out for each other. I know, yeah. Self-care and other care. Self-care and friend care.

In this case, we will skip that table for a few minutes and then come back once we know your server has seen you. On this particular day, I was in the center of the restaurant and I skipped a four-top table that had two parents and two children, one of which was a little girl wearing the same dress that I was wearing. So I made a special mental note to get back to her quickly. I had seen maybe three more tables, but this was one of the odd days where we were bouncing around our rotation a bit more than we'd like to. All of the princesses had ended up in the same area at once. We try not to be at tables right next to each other as to avoid guests asking for special photos.

So this clustering puts us in a little more of a chaotic rotation. It's so wild hearing the inner workings. Yeah. This is, and it's like, wow, that's a lot of shit, ton, like, remember. And you can't look stressed. No, you have to look like a princess.

Right. So it's like, damn, that's a lot. That being said, I can understand how it would look like I'd made it further away than I actually had. At this point, I feel a tap, tap, tap on my shoulder and I turned to see an older woman with short curly, ashy gray hair. This woman was kind, but very firm when she pointed to the little girl whom I'd seen in the dress and told me I had skipped her granddaughter and needed to return to see her. I told the woman that I hadn't forgotten her

and that I was just waiting for our server friend to meet with them first. I assured her that I would return to the table as soon as they'd gotten their drinks. She seemed disappointed in my answer, but I just smiled and turned back to the family that I had been meeting with before she somewhat rudely interrupted me. That's the other thing.

Yeah. I hate when people do that. It's like, I am with somebody else. I will be right with you. This is when they're experienced. Exactly. Like, I hate when people do that. It's like, I am with somebody else. I will be right with you. This is when they're experienced. Exactly, like this is their experience. What them have now. It's like, I was in a breakfast place once with your kids

and I was like, oh, lady, you're gonna crush these hands. We got our food first, because we have kids. Yeah. And the lady was like, um, excuse me, why did they get their food and like point it at us? I was like, oh, honey. Cause you suck. I was like, I was like, cause that, cause that's what I hate you right there. Yeah, cuz you are this karma hates you

Exactly the universe the universe made you wait This might not seem like much, but as performers at Disney, this is a big pet peeve of ours. Oh no, it seems like much Yeah, I know it's a lot. We are only allowed a small amount of time to see the entire restaurant and if it takes a longer time only allowed a small amount of time to see the entire restaurant, and if it takes a longer longer than that time, it cuts into our already very short breaks. That sucks. I'm like, damn, do we have to tape you? Yeah. We try our best to make sure every child feels seen and loved while also sticking

within our time allotted because, well, a girl's got to eat. Flustered, I tried to remember where I was in my story with the current table, and didn't even watch to see if the grandmother had walked away. After finishing with my table, I turned to see the server leaving the table with a little girl. I skipped on over and greeted the family with a cheerful hello.

I mentioned that their grandmother was quite worried that I'd forgotten them, but how could I forget that? I had such a beautiful little twin waiting for me. That's really cute. That's adorable. They seemed quite confused at my comment and I at first wondered if they spoke English due to the very high number of international guests that we see, or if I had the wrong table. After scanning the restaurant, I didn't see

the woman anywhere. And I knew for a fact that she had pointed at this table because I remembered thinking, where is she even sitting if she's with them? It's a four-top table and they already have four people. I asked where this is going. I'm all scared. I asked the family what was wrong and they said their grandmother had passed away the week before and that she was supposed to have come on this vacation with them. Oh my God. They had debated on canceling the trip

because it wouldn't be the same without her but decided to come anyway for the little girl. The fact that this grandma came back from the grave to be like bitch my my granddaughter wants to see. I was not at her at that time. I'm like I respect that. I respect that heavily. I fuck with that energy. I fuck with that paranormal experience. Wow. At this point I am stunned silent. it had been probably a decade since I had experienced a full-bodied apparition like this.

I had no idea this was not a living, breathing human. When she so forcefully tapped me on my shoulder with her boni-ass-a-lady finger, we all know the type. Somehow old ladies just know right where to poke you. So it feels like they're going all the way to the bow. So true. This was one of those pokes. Even though the thick velvet, even through the thick velvet bodice on my shoulder,

it still didn't feel great. I could not believe this woman was a spirit. Also, what did the family think? Like that you were talking to when this happened? Like I'm like, oh my god, did they know? Where they like, what's the fun? Because you turned around and talked to nothing. Yeah. Like, geez, oh, I did another lap around the restaurant searching for this woman and she was nowhere to be seen. I even asked the ciders at the check-in desk if they'd seen her leave. And none of them remembered ever seeing her that day

coming or going. They did, however, tell me that this family had changed their party number from five to four at check-in because they'd forgotten to update the reservation and they didn't want the extra empty seat to make the children sad. Oh my God. I genuinely have no explanation for what happened that day. Only that maybe that grandmother really did make it to their family vacation after all. I think so. Maybe she was making sure her sweet little granddaughter still had a great

time and wasn't forgotten by her favorite princess. I'm going to... Oh, sob. What if you were trafficked into a cult over shot nine times or fell in love with a vampire or went into a minor surgery and woke up one week later, paralyzed? What would you do? I'm Whit Missaldine, the creator of this is actually happening, a podcast from Wondry that brings you extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. From a young man that dooms his entire future with one choice,

to a woman who survived a notorious serial killer. You'll hear their first person account of how they overcame remarkable circumstances. Each episode is an exploration of the human spirit and personal discovery. These haunting accounts sound like Hollywood movies, but I assure you this is actually happening. Followed this is actually happening wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. This is only one of the ghostly experiences I've had since working for this company. Children often talk about the man in the curtains in one of our meet and greet locations. The catch is the grownups never see who the man is

that they're talking about. I've caught glimpses of him a couple of times and I've seen things move with no explanation. He's truly harmless at the end of the day. He just likes to cause mischief sometimes. If I don't see him. Where the fuck is this guy? If I don't see him.

I can't see him. I'm gonna be pissed. I got a see him. That whole no one ever dies at Disney thing. I had no idea that that was a thing. I've never heard that one before. You know, it's weird. I was talking to someone the other day and they were like, you know, you know, the saying, no, never dies at Disney. I know it. Well, it's only half true. Just you know, so half of the people, people die in the parks all the time, usually from unknown pre-existing conditions. They just start pronounced dead until they're off property. Is that like a rule?

Like you cannot be pronounced dead on Disney property? The darkness of Disney is my favorite shit, obviously. I feel like we could go so much further into that. The gem that the gift you have given me. Truly. Sorry for the length and the rambling, like I said, Jello brain. But thank you for taking time to read this.

And if you happen to choose to read it on the pod, hi mom. Hi there mom. Thank you for everything you do and keep it weird. But not so weird that you are mean to characters at Disney World because they're just severely underpaid humans trying to pay their rent and make your kids a bit better.

Definitely keep it so weird though that you get some sort of sign that your loved ones are watching over you on your family vacation and making sure everyone is safe and having fun. All the best, anonymous. And I love what you just said. That was so cute. Just don't tell them else. P.S. if you're ever in the Orlando area, I would love to show you around Disney and maybe the girls can come get some photos and sweet snuggles with one of their favorite princesses too. We'll see you there sister. Girl, we will be there and we will not be square. That is so sweet.

Thank you for sending this. You are amazing and your job is amazing. And you're also the cutest princess slash character ever. Yeah, I'm obsessed with you. There's that. There's always that. There's always that. I'm obsessed with you. There's that. There's always that. There's always that. I'm actually looking at the pictures now

because I didn't get to see them. You're also like so drop dead. Yeah, you're, you make me sick. Yeah, like, let's get out of here. Essentially you make me sick. Get out of here with the gorgeousness. All right, my next one for that. I know, thank you.

My next one is listener tale. How I delivered pizza to a murderer while my douchebag ex-husband sat on the couch. Okay. Okay. It starts off by saying, hello beautiful ladies warning, this intro email might be longer than the listener tale

I've sent, but it all needs to be said. Okay, I love it. Let me see if I can say your name. Please hold on, wait, wait a second. I'm cheating. Just checking to see. I think I love it. Let me see if I can say your name. Please hold on. Wait, wait a second. Just checking the seat. I think I can't. Yeah, I think I can. I think I can. My name is Charlotte and I listen to your show because of my daughter. Emily. Emily, you have a podcast. Daughter and I started a podcast surviving on whining cuss words. I'm obsessed. It's a podcast about trauma, trigger warning, domestic abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse,

and childhood sexual abuse. We wanted a podcast to tell our story and help. Even if one person hears it and helps them not to feel alone or helps them to disclose their abuse, then it was, then all the work is worth it. We are a podcast for help with resources and outlet for anyone suffering and a true happy ending that we want to share. So with the subject matter, you can imagine how hard those things are to talk about in general,

much less for a podcast to be broadcast to a potentially large group of people. When we first started making it, daughter told me, I needed to listen to morbid. She loves your podcast and the way you guys interact in banter. Thank you. That's really sweet. She told me that's how she wanted ours to feel. A lofty goal because you guys do what you do so well.

Oh, thank you. So in my obligatory research, I have also become a super fan of you. So I don't even listen to music on my long commutes to work anymore. I simply spend that time catching up on all the morbid pods past. I love that. That I am just recently getting to hear. And it just so happens, I have a listener tale to share. It's not spooky or terribly morbid. You might consider it a palette cleanser of sorts. Just an interesting coincidental story about encountering a murderer.

No big deal. You can definitely use my name, okay good, because I did. Awesome. And read the story as is because I don't even know the real names of the people in the story. I just refer to them as mom, dad, and son. And their podcast is called Surviving on Wine and Cusswords, remember it.

Surviving on Wine and Cusswords, and what a great fucking news. I was gonna say, that's a great logo. And you guys are literal twins. Oh my God. And I love you. Oh my God. When I love your setup, you're really cool.

That's cool. You guys are adorable. I love you guys. I love you guys. I just cool. You guys are adorable. I love you guys. I love you guys. I just love you guys. So let's set a little background. Around the time of this event, I was working at a local bank as a customer service rep

and my douche bag of an ex-husband was working full time as an electrical technician and part-time delivering pizza. Now, these were not high paying jobs, so the pizza delivery job was out of necessity. We needed the extra income. I actually talked about delivering pizza as well on the days that he did not, uh, yeah, I said that right. On the days that he did not work, but we decided against that because our kids were young

and well, I wanted to be with them. I feel that. I do too. During this time, my ex experienced some health issues and had to take a little time off work. It was a struggle, but we did what we had to do to get by. We cut off cable, we canceled home phone service, we pinched all the pennies we could possibly pinch

to be able to make the bills and eat. When it got to the point that it was just too hard and there was nothing to cut any longer, I did take a job delivering pizza in the evenings. This was supposed to be until he was clear to go back to work. He was finally cleared, but instead of going back to work, he decided he wanted to continue to stay home

and homeschool our kids. Aww. What a brilliant idea. Not? Not only did he not go back to either job, but he also never started homeschooling. So basically, he was a piece of shit who continued to watch me work two jobs

just to make ends meet. That's bullshit. Fuck that guy. So that is what that's us to the point where my douchebag X stayed on the couch while I delivered pizza to a murderer. Whoa. What a douchebag. It was just a regular Tuesday evening.

I finished my full-time job at the bank and went straight to Domino's for my delivery job. I snagged a delivery to a pretty affluent neighborhood in town. Mind you, we knew who tipped well and we knew who didn't. While I had never delivered a pizza to this particular address, I knew there was a history of decent tips in the area. It was a potentially good one. I pulled in the driveway, walked onto the porch and rang the bell.

I heard some scuffing inside, nothing out of the ordinary, and then the door started to open. A young guy with a black hoodie peaked out. He saw it was his pizza, so he slowly continued to open the door just enough that we could do the deed. The pizza for check exchange. Like I said, he was wearing a black hoodie

and the hoodie was up on his head. He didn't really look up at me and I didn't really care. I wanted that check and to see the tip. Oh yeah. He had one hand on the door knob and one hand on the kangaroo pouch on the front of the hoodie. He pulled his hand out of the kangaroo pouch, check and tow. Thanks, have a good day. I said, as I skipped off the porch back to my car. No big deal. I was not scheduled to work Wednesday night, but when I went back to deliver Thursday night, boy, what a surprise!

The police had been there asking about the delivery to that address on Tuesday. Uh-oh, and the story goes like this. Typical family, affluent neighborhood, mom and dad both worked full-time jobs, and they had their young adult son at home with them. Neither mom nor dad showed up to their jobs on Monday. Uh-oh, in a strange coincidence of events, they had just returned from vacation, and no one at their places of work really panicked. Maybe they were still off, maybe they weren't due back yet, who really knew. So no red flags were raised on Monday.

But when they didn't show up Tuesday and co-workers were not able to reach them, some people got a little concerned. One, maybe multiple, I don't really know, co-worker, co-workers, ended up calling the police to let them know they were worried. The police ended up going to the house to try to gain entry or to figure out what was going on. Oh my gosh. Turns out the sun murdered both mom and dad. When the police finally gained entries, they discovered their bodies,

made dismemberment in the garage. Oh my god. The sun was taken into custody. So why were the police at the local pizza place asking questions? Well, they saw the pizza box in the kitchen with Tuesday's date and realized that someone had delivered that pizza. So they at wanted to ask questions.

Was there anything out of the ordinary? Did I hear anything, see anything, smell anything, et cetera? I explained to them that nothing was out of the ordinary, except he seemed a little weird answering the door with the hood up on his head and his hand in the kangaroo pouch. He said nothing. According to their timeline, he was working away in the garage dismembering his recently murdered parents and decided, you know what, I'm a little hungry. I'm going to take a little break in order of pizza. What? And this motherfucker, this motherfucker ordered a pizza

for delivery and forged his parents signature. On their checking account to pay for it and didn't even leave a tip. He had just murdered them. He was in the garage cutting them up. He wrote a check and he couldn't even leave. I don't know leave a damn tin. Wow. It would have been an, it should have been an epic tip.

It's the, yeah. The God damn check for the $9 pizza should have been made out for $109. Holy shit. But he couldn't even be bothered to write it for 10 just to leave a dollar tip. To me, that's the kicker. Judged your person by the way, they treat weight staff. That's very true. And if they murder their parents. Yeah, right. True. Every time it might go without saying, but this incident coupled with the similarly timed kidnapping of the pizza delivery driver up north who had a bomb strap to his neck that subsequently exploded.

Oh my God. Remember that. Yes. What was that Netflix series called? Oh shit. Fuck. I can see her face. Everybody knows it. You're all you're all you know us.

I don't need to say it. You know it. Her face though. I remember I would wake up in the middle of the night and that would flush out to me and I'd shit. Anyways, but that led to this listeners pizza delivery resignation. I was done. Yeah, I don't blame you.

Yeah. Thank you so much for your time and all the podcasts that kept me entertained on my long commute every day. And I'll tell you both to keep it weird. But not somewhere that you're ready, your parents, for to just signature on a check to order a pizza in the middle of dismembering them and then don't tip. That's just rude. All of that is rude. Yeah, that's the hardest one might say. The rudeest thing I have ever heard. Wow. Also, who pays for a pizza with a check that seems so weird? I know. You know what, though. When did that pizza with a check that seems so weird. I know, you know what though?

When did that pizza delivery explosion thing happen? It's like the early 2000s, I think. I feel like no, I think it was worth that. Because I feel like it was the 90s. I think it was the 90s. Because like paying with a check was much more. Yeah, I remember this woman that we used to live with, she would like take us grocery shopping like me,

and she would pay for the groceries with a check. Yeah, it was like a very typical thing. Yeah, now a lot of places you can't because they bounce. Because they bounce. Because they be bouncing. They are bouncing. All right, what should I read next? I want to read the one that's next, to be honest with you.

Yeah, you can. Okay. So let's see. Yeah, you can. Okay. So let's see. Oh. Yeah, you just picked, girlie. How about pink boots? I was just clicking on that one. I felt it.

Pink boots. Whatever at this baby, I'm obsessed. This baby, with their sparkly pink boots, is a fucking serve. Beautiful little baby. Oh. Oh, it says, hi friends, can I call your friends? Yes, absolutely. I feel like we laugh a lot with each other that Oh, it says hi friends. Can I call you friends? Yes, absolutely. I feel like we laugh a lot with each other

that we can say we're friends. We absolutely are. If you read this, I will literally die of happiness. Please don't do that. Please don't die. Please see the attached double space put of my story of one of the scariest events of my life as a mom.

Thank you. This is going to terrify me. I know. Also, you have great hair. I love the color. Says hello fellow weirdos. First and foremost, oh, I'll see you have great hair. I love the color. It says, hello fellow weirdos. First and foremost, oh, I didn't even read the thing.

It says, pink boots, foil kidnapping. So that scares me. Wow, you fucked up. I did. I fucked up. Really hard. First and foremost, you both are the literal bees knees and I'm so thankful I found your podcast.

You're the fucking bees knees. You're the cat's pajamas. I'm just gonna say that. And hit me out. Hell yeah. Boom. My name is Tiffany. Hi Tiffany. And you can totally use my name. That's good because we did. I did. I cried myself and being an OG listener, if you will, and keep you with me on my long days of visits in the community, seeing my clients as a probation and put role officer. You're a badass. Every time I listen to a listener tale, I always think,

hey, I should send in mine. But then my ADD brain kicks in by the time I get to a listener tale, I always think, hey, I should send in mine. But then my ADD brain kicks in by the time I get back to the office, and I forget until the next time an episode comes on, and thus the cycle continues. But not today. But not today. Today the cycle ends. My tale isn't as crazy or spooky as some of the ones I've heard,

a big yikes to the Ouija board episode. But it was still pretty scary for me, so let me set the scene with a little background information about myself. Okay, back in 2010, I graduated high school, and went to college about four hours away from my hometown in parents. At the time I had picked that school,

I was ready to be far away in doing my own thing. However, my senior year of high school, I found out I was pregnant. And due to my stubborn-ass self, I was determined to attend that same school and get a college education with my child because fuck you statistics. Hell to the fuck.

Hell yeah. I had my daughter right before Thanksgiving break and had to leave my two-week baby behind with my angel of a mother while I went back to take finals. My God. It was awful. But luckily, by the beginning of the next semester, I was up in an apartment near college with my baby with me, trying to juggle classwork and momming full time alone while ending a toxic relationship with her father. Are you super woman? I don't know how single moms do the shit I don't

do. I don't do. Like, and like single young moms, oh my god. Oh my god. Like, I, you're fucking warrior. Yes. Truly. Flash forward, flash forward to 2013. I had ended up transferring colleges and moving back home to be closer to my support system. It takes a village. It was a typical October afternoon, and I had been in classes all day and needed to stop at a local grocery store to get a few things for the weekend. My daughter was not quite three yet, and while I have always had extreme anxiety with my children anyway, I knew then and definitely recognized now that she was a cute-ass toddler with beautiful curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Oh, shh, no, gee.

That day she had on a cute blue sweater with leggings and bright pink sparkly boots. They were the knockoff ugly boots you can purchase at Walmart and she loved them. But I loathed sticking her into the cart with the mon because they would get stuck in the foothold. Oh, that's so worst. Because of this, I hadathed sticking her into the cart with the mom because they would get stuck in the foothold. Oh, that's so worst.

Because of this, I had contemplated taking her inside the store barefoot, but since it was chilly outside and I hate judgey looks for strangers and feel you, I left them on and stuck her in the front of the cart to pick up some groceries. Everything went smoothly until checkout. Having kids stress. This truck in any public situation is the most stressful. Oh yeah, it truly is. Like having to keep your eyes public situation is the most stressful. Oh, yeah, it's really like having to keep your eyes on that. Yeah, it's so fucking stressful.

Because it's really important. I parked my cart near the conveyor belt, move to the front of the cart and began unloading the groceries. As I turned to place Tyson chicken nuggets on the belt, hell, yeah, I felt the cart hit, hit my hip. Oh my God. I looked up to see a grown-ass man with his hands on my child. He was attempting to lift her out of the seat of the cart.

Oh my God. But her big-ass pink boots were stuck in the footholds. Oh, how he has the fucking audacity. The death that would come to this man. Strew me the eye contact and all I could say is what the fuck are you doing? He said nothing and we stared at each other for a solid 10 seconds. And I thought my four foot seven inch self, oh my God, you're so tiny.

Is going to have to beat this five foot something man to death right here in the middle of the story. Hell yeah. Mom. He didn't make a single sound or face to indicate his feelings and simply set her butt down into the cart and jog towards what I can assume was the exit of the store. I was in total shock just staring at my child

and then back at the cashier and back at my child like what the fuck just happened. Yeah. The cashier did call a manager over who asked me if I wanted to call the police, but young dumbass me said no. I know, I know. I should have called police a made-or-apport

and I think about that daily whenever I see or hear about kidnapped babies. I just didn't know how to process what had happened and wanted to get home to my own parents as quickly as I could. I totally understand. Yeah, it's the panic in that moment I can't imagine. And honestly, I had made a Facebook post about it, but all I got was honestly social media is shit. You don't get anything from it, but bullshit. But all I got was a lot of messages, basically blaming me being a young inexperienced mother

for putting my child in that situation and how I should have handled it instead, which made me feel even worse. Probably from a bunch of people that don't even have children themselves. Exactly. Well, just a bunch of assholes who get on the internet just to be dicks.

I ended up deleting the posts and not speaking about it until much later when I worked as a social worker and realized that it had nothing that it was nothing I did or didn't do. Exactly. Exactly. That the man had probably been watching me enter and shop with my child, waiting for an opportunity when I would be distracted to attempt to grab her. Oh my God.

That's just like, oh, well, he didn't bank on was a pair of bright sparkly boots, spoiling his opportunity. I kept those boots for a really long time after she had outgrown them, just as a reminder that no matter what, I was meant to be her mother for as long as I was alive and that it would take an act of God himself to pull her out of my fingers. Oh, fuck yeah. I ended up graduating with my bachelor's degree in 2015. And she said, again, you graduating with my bachelor's degree in 2015

And she said again, you can suck my dick statistics. I'm now married to the love of my life. Fuck yeah with a blended family of four amazing children. Oh my god I love your life singing the beginning of the Brady Bunch, but that I forgot it. I'm so happy for you So that's my story. I know it isn't worthy of a 2020 episode. Yes, it is. Of course it is. That's the scariest thing I've ever heard. So if you don't read it, that's totally okay. If you do, well, let's just say I'll piss myself

with equal parts anxiety and excitement. You just need, you just need. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you're a toddler, you're pink sparkly boots, foil a kidnapping plot during a routine grocery trip. Side note, here's a photo of the day that it happened with her and the outfit and pink boots and a photo of us now. She is the cutest fucking thing I have ever seen.

Fucking adorable. I will murder people for her straight up. Oh my God, and looking you too, and she's so, she's like an adult. You guys are like little twinies too. Everyone looks like their mom today. Beautiful. I love that. I'm so happy and thankful for those pink sparkly ugly boots.

Hell yeah. Oh my god, I can't get over how cute she was. And I fucking, I hope that guy is dead. Retweet. I hope that guy is the deadest dead that dead can be. No, I hope that man wakes up every single morning to a UTI, stubs his toe, has a cavity, needs a root canal. Yeah. Like so many other things.

I hope all that happened and that now he's dead. That's what I hope. You were gonna steal that beautiful little two-year-old baby from her mother right there. Like, what the fuck were you gonna do, you piece of shit? I can't even. You're dead. You're dead.

I know it. Oh my goodness. He's dead. Goodness, brush your face. The guy's dead, so don't worry. You're crazy. I love it. My goodness. He's dead. Goodness, for us, yeah. The guy's dead, so don't worry. You're crazy. I love you. I fucking hate, like people with kids, like food try to hurt kids.

Yeah. Oh, like dead. Dead. Well, straight to dead. I feel like this will be a good um, pala cleanser. I hope so. And I just wanted to read this because funny, but now I'm a little bit scared, but like, let's just go.

Okay. Oh, let's go. Listener tale, help. My vibrator is haunted good copy That's a first take it to this it says disclaimer last night I accidentally sent you my rough draft and was up all night freaking out about it. So here's the good copy Don't you worry. Yeah, honestly, it's fine Well, hello, a shana. Oh, I think it's taunya, right? Yeah, okay cool like it. It says please use my name And I'm gonna Please use my name. I'm a Canadian gal and a long time listener and a lover of the Paul. We love a Canadian. We do. We do. I tell all my clients to listen to you, ladies. You have the best banter. Thank you. And most interesting stories that you share in such an engaging way.

There's nothing I love more than sitting at my work alone in the morning, sipping on my tea. Oh, I wanna be there. That sounds very cozy. And listening to tales of dismembered bodies or creepy shadow people. Yes. As usual, feel free to edit my story. No.

Never. I've also included a double space puttuffa for your reading pleasure. Let me go ahead and open that. Baby, double space. Puttuffa. Puttuffa. Here'm a little bit about me. Since as early as I can remember,

I've had weird shit happen to me. I've had spirit encounters, out of body experiences, almost died a couple times, and I've even experienced miracles. All stories for another day. No, they're for today, Tanya. Right now. Right now I hope you're typing them,

okay, because that's your assignment. No, I'm just kidding. You were like, after typing them, okay, because that's your assignment. No, I'm just kidding. You were like, I'm scared. I need to leave. Goodbye. I also grew up in a dysfunctional family. So that just heightened my empathetic empath, empath, empathic.

Thank you. Empathic, tend to this. Empathic, that's why we drink was just like, yes. Empathic. Or it was like, did you ever get that ticked out? That was like, I'm to the z, I'm to the z, I'm not the best. Or it was like, did you forget that ticked out that was like empty the Z, empty the Z, I'm going to the side there. All right. Anyway, so go me this story begins in January, 2020.

That was the year I opened my own salon. How has great year open? What is this? Right? Well, I was at the salon with my youngest daughter. Let's call her Gigi. Gigi would have been three at the time. I had just signed my lease and was wandering the place

when Gigi came running and saying, so mommy, I saw a scary man. Uh-oh, great. I honestly didn't think much of it at the time. She was always saying things like this to me. Gigi led me to the closet in one of the empty rooms and said, he's there. I don't like that.

I opened the door and just told the man to stop being scary and that it's not nice to scare Gigi. That's pretty much what I do. I don't like that. I opened the door and just told the man to stop being scary and that it's not nice to scare Gigi. That's pretty much what I do. I called. We left and honestly I didn't think about that exchange again. Well for a few weeks at least It was now February and I was working late just below drawing my client and pretending I could hear what they were saying Relatable when I saw the reflection of somebody passed by me in the mirror. Oh, I turned around but no one was there Weird, but I kept drawing a few minutes later. It happened again a black me in the mirror. Oh, I turned around, but no one was there. Weird, but I kept drying. A few minutes later, it happened again. A black shadow in the shape of a man

walking into the washroom behind me. Oh. This time I turned off the dryer and shouted, hello, nothing. Okay, I must be losing it, I thought. When I work late at night, I often lock the door to the salon just so nobody wanders in.

Like I said, long time no see, really. Good job. Well, this shadow man would come and go back and forth to the bathroom right up until our first COVID lockdown. It was a good three months we were locked down. I would come to the salon just to dust and water the plants. It was on one of these trips that I noticed

a cigarette smell in the bathroom. It was faint, but got more intense each time I showed up to check on the place. It got so, but got more intense each time I showed up to check on the place. It got so strong that I finally had to say something. After all, I don't need no second hand ghost cancer. No, you don't. I stood in the bathroom and just asked whoever it was not to smoke in there or even come in here when there was people in the salon. That's when the dimes started showing up. I'm talking everywhere. I would find dimes on the stairs of my back entrance, my front entrance, the salon floor, my desk. One even rolled from the retail area down

a short haul and landed up my feet. I don't share a lot of supernatural stuff with my clients, but when I do, there's another dime somewhere. I think the afterlife has taken it upon itself to fund my early retirement through dimes. I was going to say collectum all. If I had a dime. The creepiest experience I've had was seeing my shadow man again through the mirror, then having product fall off the shelf and crash to the ground. This made me and my client jump as we had just been discussing my ghost man. When I went to check out what had happened, there was all my products scattered with a shiny

dime sitting in the middle of the floor. The shelf was still intact and everything else was still in place. Move forward to the spring, I had lived with Shadow Man for so long and he really is harmless for the most part. He still smokes on occasion and now likes to turn up my music every now and then, especially 70s rock. Usually if he starts, I just have to tell him, no, then he stops and we'll turn it down. So pretty decent relationship thus far. That is until this past Halloween. As we all know, Halloween this year fell on a fucking Monday. Bullshit.

It really was. That meant getting up extra early to prepare four of my five kids for the Halloween festivities at school. That sounds like a goddamn nightmare. My husband was up helping as I was curling GG's hair to look like Mirabel. Oh my God, I love Mirabel.

And doing my 10 year old steam punk makeup. You're a cool bad-ass kids. All while yelling at the two teens to get their shit together and not miss the bus. Oh my God, those were the days. Well, they didn't make it. My husband offered to drive the kids to school and I was more than happy to take him up on that.

They left and the house was silent. Well, except for my snoring English bulldog, Matt. What a great name. I got into bed, pulled the covers over from my husband's side of the bed. Sitting there was a pile of not one, not two, but seven dimes. What? All shiny and new. I honestly didn't take too much stock in them. I just thought, what the fuck grabbed them? I'm in my nightstand.

I was like, oh well. Oh, the day continued as usual. Kids got home, stuff some dinner in their faces. Well, we all went trick or treating. By the time we went home, we had to carry the two little list in as they were suffering from a Halloween sugar coma. Hell yeah. The older two were watching Scary Movie.

As Abby and I climbed into bed, I remembered the stack of dimes from that morning. Did you leave a stack of dimes on the bed, I asked? How be looked at me confused? Nope. Well, did they fall out of your PJ bottoms? My PJs don't have pockets, he replied. Oh shit, did Shadow Man follow me home?

Yeah, I was so tired to think about that. So I just rolled over and I put my sleep in a mask on and I fell asleep. A few silent hours passed, then all of a sudden this very loud bit. Oh my God. Banging sound broke that silence. What the fuck? I'm screaming. Hubby and I both jumped up, tasted and confused.

We listened. I loved it. We listened for a few seconds and then Hubby was like, I know that sound. Like an audio wizard. He opens up this nice drawer and pulls out my pocket by greater screaming, whizzing around at mock chicken's feet.

Now this vibrator is a full on clicked button top. You have to press down and click it with your thumb. Not only that, but it hadn't been used in so long. We both forgot it. is a full on clicked button top. You have to press down and click it with your thumb. Not only that, but it hadn't been used in so long. We both forgot it. Right then in there, I knew it was my smoking salon friend. A shout out man trying to get with it. I swear if I wake up in that vibrator is anywhere near me, I'm going to exercise his ass. Yeah, that's the time. Yeah, it'd be like you want to go. That's time when it's taking too far.

But I got into work the next day. We had a little chat about personal space and how I'd have to sage his ass if he showed up anywhere but the salon from now on. I love it. He still plays with my music, leaves me dimes. One was in my bra, last week. He likes you.

And yes, he's still trying to quit smoking. The vibrator is safely tucked away in battery for you just in case. Well, ladies, I hope you enjoyed my haunted tale. Please keep doing what you do. I wish you both so much love the hat health and happiness. Thank you and back at you. Yeah.

I also hope you find a diamond in the near future and think of me and Shadow Man. Oh my god. I don't want to find a diamond now, miss. Oh my god, your family is so adorable. Oh, and I hope that you keep it weird but not so weird that take it away, Ash. That's where you open up a whole, a hair salon in the year of 2020 and you're like, wow, this will go well and then like lock down, but then like ghosts and they're smoking and then they vibrate your vibrator. Well, you want to hear something great. First of all, you're beautiful.

Your fucking family is beautiful. I know. I need to know. All your animals are beautiful. You have a pig. Oh, your little kids are so freaking cute. And also, I looked it up and dimes are a good thing have a pig. Oh, you're a little kid. I'm dying. I'm freaking cute. And also I looked it up and dimes are a good thing. I was gonna say that's what I thought. Yeah, there are a message. There's a few different ways to look at it. But it's a message to pay attention

and trust your instincts and intuition. Okay. It also means it's a symbol that good things and opportunities are coming your way that you once thought were lost for you. Hot. And it means like ancestor spirits or you weren't stopped or lost for you. Ha. And it means like ancestors, spirits, or deceased loved ones are looking out for you. Maybe do you think the Shadow Man could be a deceased loved one

of yours? Maybe. It says that it's like sending encouragement and peace. All right. So I love that. Yeah, that's great. I hope that is the truth for you. I thought dimes were a good omen. I feel like I heard a story recently where like somebody's loved one would leave them Dimes. I might have been on this in her tail too.

Maybe it was a listener tail. Yeah, and this was just said in November I think. So you know what? Tanya, I hope that those Dimes have sent you something great. Or maybe he's just saying you're a Dime piece. You're a Dime. Because he might be saying that. I love that your husband was like, I know that.

No, that's hilarious. That's my favorite. All right, where should we end? We should end on the time my brain needed, noct control, all deleted, the gory visual of a tragic murder, smooth out of my memory bank because clearly a bitch couldn't handle that shit. Yeah, that's it.

That's how we should end it, I agree. Obsessed. It says, hey, weirdos, I'm Jordan. Hi. You can use my name. I have attached two, 14.2.0 space. Yes. 2.0 space, but if I was because I know y'all can't see.

I sure can't. One is in Times New Roman and one is in Ariel. Just in case Sans Sarah font is better for your eyes. Okay, do you know what? That's wild that you just said that. It was you. I was thinking the pink boots tail. I don't know what font that was written in,

but it was very pleasing to the eye. Yeah, wow. Jordan says, look at your girl showing her ass on this podcast. Oh my God, am I on the fucking podcast? Yeah, you are Jordan. You are Jordan. Oh, by the way, Afsh, not sure if you've already gotten your answer, but I am not an ophthalmologist or whatever the people are who call to work

all not to all. Or whatever the people are called to can stomach doing eye stuff for a living. But I happen to have a stigmatism in both my god damn eyes. And below is a pic displaying one difference between a stigmatism and just poor blurry vision I think I have just poorer or blurry vision. So look at that Thank you for showing me that I got a new eye doctor and he seems good You took a picture of the inside of my eyes I was pretty sick. I was like well shit. He also complimented my eyelashes and I was like sir these are not real I love him. So it says, as you will

soon discover, I have ADHD, not the TikTok kind unfortunately, but the real kind. That was determined as the results of three different therapists, randomly and unprompted, asking if I'd ever been evaluated for ADHD. And then two subsequent evaluations. Yeah, you have that shit. I should be managing my condition with therapy and meds in a life coach for the rest of my life because executive dysfunction, but I ain't. Finding good mental health help is like online dating. Yeah. So this is kind of all over the place.

It's fucking long, but if you're here, that means you signed up for this. So just ride with me, okay? It'll be fine. All the year rider died for this. I'm literally obsessed with the George same. Of course, please feel free to cut this for the sake of time, but please know, I'm literally obsessed with the George same. Of course, please feel free to cut this for the sake of time, but please know, I'm kind of saying that in the same way that a person getting a ride from a friend

offers up gas money, even though you know good and well. Even though you know good and well, don't have any damn money, because they know the friend will say no, it's just a formality, you know? Oh, I know. Do you remember the people that used to charge you gas money in high school? Yes. Did you ever have those friends? Oh, yeah, absolutely Do you remember the people that used to charge you gas money in high school?

Yes. Did you ever have those friends? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Are you friends with them anymore? No. Exactly. No.

That is the truth. No, I love it. All right. Says, first off, I'm a huge fan of the podcast, of course, and of both of you gal. We're a fan of you, Jordan. Yeah. I'm a fan of you, Jordan. Big time.

It's really fun to listen to two people who are really close and who have things in common, but have very different personalities. Both hilarious. Discussing some of the most heinous of acts by the most disgusting, yet strangely fascinating of humanoids. If you're wondering, my quote unquote favorite cases

are the Ed Kemper and do not judge me Dorothy Appuente. That's bad, I know, and I don't know why. My middle name is Ash. Ash, is it Ashley? I think yeah. You long for Ash. Oh yeah, long for Ash, and you can't fucking spell trash without Ash. Hey yo, I'm dancing.

I'm dancing for you. I'm doing my mean mode. It's true, I saw it. Also, I'm an OG morbid listener. I've been around you in the bath. Hell yeah, I've been around since the underwater days, which really were not that bad. Everyone always says that and I love you guys for that. They were fucking terrible. This collective lie that you have given to us that it wasn't that bad, I do appreciate it. Since before Spotify got their shizznit

together, since you borrowed your cousin or somebody's mic and we're like, oh yeah, I like this. We're getting one of these. Oh my god. I forgot. Wow, you are an OG. Yeah, day one. Well, maybe like day 20 or something like that. Anyway, you are the podcast. I will sometimes intentionally skip for a couple of weeks just so I can binge. Oh, I love that. I started skipping listener tails back in the teens

so I could eventually binge them, which is what I was doing when I decided to submit this listener tail that I promise we will get to. Second, I would like to suggest a theme for listener and listener tales. Ooh. I found this TikTok stitch video thingy, whatever the kids are doing.

About a time when you think you might have slipped into an alternate dimension, the stories were so intriguing. One girl was stuck in a lucid dream. I was just talking about this today. Yeah, you heard. Jordan, what is going on? Are we friends?

Yes. It stuck in a lucid dream that lasted months or years. The dream, not the actual sleep, which is how we know time is a fucking scam. Time is a fucking scam. She had a boyfriend and a job and was in therapy in the dream because people thought she was nuts for thinking her life was actually a dream. Whoa. Wait, what?

That's like, um, severance. That show. You should watch it. It's crazy. life was actually a dream. Whoa. Wait, what? That's like, um, severance. That show, you should watch it, it's crazy. That sounds so crazy. I'm fascinated with the idea of time travel, alternate, to alternate dimensions and realities and stuff. So I would love to hear listeners have stories like that. That's a really good idea.

That's a good idea. Send those in and not. And write like alternate dimensions. Yeah. There you go. And finally, if you're reading this on the podcast, I'm gonna ship my fucking dick because I can't believe it. Well, shit your dick.

In fact, if you read this, I'm gonna shit my dick and your dick. Shit our dick. Wait, I don't really know what that means. I just think it's funny when you two say it. Is shitting somebody else's dick something I should be asking consent for? Let me know. Help me, Gens.

Now. I love you. Your brain works like my brain works and I love that for us. You're the best. I'm going to do my best to recall this act really, but this was literally 25 years ago. So I might be remembering something's wrong. So it was spring 1997 and Baltimore, 10th grade year. I was 15 at the time and my friend Tiffany, RIP friend, was 16.

We were going downtown to pick up a pair of sheer gold stockings with her name and glitter on the ankle for her to wear with her dress to her boyfriend's junior prom. The 90s, am I right? Who could get tights with your name on it? Apparently. Wow. We would get on the subway there

and usually ended up walking around stopping in Lexington Market, a mini mall for all and tens of purposes. For some chicken wings and moseying home just as it was getting darker. Sidebar, I'm a mom now. I don't know if things are worse because they really are worse.

I don't know if things are worse because they really are worse, or if they seem worse because we have so much access to everyone and everything. The latter. But I have no idea how my mother let me have so much freedom. All I had was a pager. And if she was wondering where I was

or wanted me to check in, I had to wait until I got to a pay phone to call her. My daughter is 21 and my son is 16 and I'm ready to microchip both her asses, but I do digress. I feel you, I'm ready to microchip my children. Oh, I'm gonna microchip my kids the second, like I'm gonna do it while they're in utero.

Or you know what, maybe I have. Da, da, da. We got off the subway and walked by what could best be described as a mini version of a town square, and an open area in the middle of Lexington market, and three main streets with shops, one of which we were going to be to go get those damn stockings.

Hell yeah. As we were walking, we saw a little crowd just standing in the center. There were four or five girls and one really tall guy. Why the hell are they all standing there? Both of us were nosy as hell and figured there was a reason for the gathering. But the store closed at five. We rarely left school as soon as it was over.

And after the first wave of buses is gone, you're waiting with the regular commuters. So by the time we caught a bus from east to west, then the train, it was around 430 when we got downtown and we still had to walk a few blocks. So we just kept it moving, making it to the place. I think it was called Hojory World. Obsessed. It's time to get our stuff before they close Hojory World. Hojory World. Stockings in tow. I'm glad you guys got those.

Hey, oh. We headed back towards the subway and the crowd was still gathered. But this time you could tell there was some spice in the air. There was no yelling, no aggressive gestures. Nothing obvious to indicate that there was about to be an altercation. You could just tell. I know it sounds bad, but as a teenager, I like to catch a good fight. Fights in the lunchroom were always exciting.

I'm just going to say that. And I love this. Nothing too vicious or crazy. Just a good, clean scrap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So me and Tiffany and Arnoziases were were slow-strull and bad to get the tea without being too obvious. I'll identify the girls involved by their ages.

One was 13 and the other was 12. They were beefing over a boy. No, a man. The tall guy in the mix was the subject of the dispute and his trifling ass was 18. Ew. Way too old to be dealing with either of these girls and finding no issue with letting

these two little girls fight over him. Get fucked, dude. Anyway, we could tell they were having words, but we couldn't hear. Or maybe I just don't remember. I can just remember them in each other's faces. The guy was kind of pacing around. If this was happening in the era of the smartphone, I would imagine him scrolling or texting some other girl, bored with whatever these two were talking about.

Maybe waiting on some action and losing hope that he was gonna get it. Since it was the 90s and there was no magic hand-held computer to occupy Edel Timewith, I suppose he was just milling about, not wanting to stand still, but not wanting to go too far. After all, this bullshit was about him. Obviously, I'm now speaking from the perspective of an adult with children of my own, but 15-year-old Jordan won to them to get on with it too. I didn't want to miss the action, but it was starting to get dark, and I was not trying to hear my mother's mouth about me coming in too long after dark. The other three or so girls were standing behind the 13-year-olds.

At some point, the 12-year-old walked away towards the subway. The 12-year-old was left with the dude and her homegirls. No, the 13-year-old. Oh, excuse me, the 13-year-old was left. They convinced her to go after the girl and fight her. I don't remember the exact words, but I know that was when me and Tiffany were certain there was going to be a fight. Remember, we're standing there watching them have what looks like a tense but civil conversation. We didn't know exactly what was going on until the friends got a little louder

and told the 13 year old to follow the 12 year old. You could tell she didn't want to, by the way, she just walked jogged behind the 12 year olds by the very weak punch she gave to the back of the 12 year old's head. You could tell she only did it because she didn't want to look like a punk in front of her friends.

You look like a punk anyway. You look like a punk now. The two opponents were a good distance away, closer to the train engine and trends, then to the little square we were all standing and watching and waiting. We could see that the 13-year-old hit the 12-year-old in the back of the head.

The 12-year-old turned around quickly, swinging her arm and said, leave me the fuck alone, then turned and continued walking towards the train. The 13-year-old turned and came back towards her crowd of friends, which we were all in the spot she left, which were all in the spot she left them in, in the same direction me and Tiffany were standing watching the show. I remember being disappointed that there wasn't more. Like, I know we missed the train, and at the time of evening,

we thought we would have, we would have to wait at least an hour, half hour for the next one, sorry. I remember thinking if the 12-year-old didn't want to fight, it was whack for the 13 year old to go after her and try to sneaker. That's true. And she didn't even hit her hard. I just remember thinking, the shit is so dumb. Authors note, have you ever been around a really animated person who laughs with their whole body?

Like claps, throws their head back, stomps their feet? Black people do that. It's not a race color thing, more like a cultural thing, I suppose. If something is really funny, black people will push you rolling on the floor, run down the street, fall over you. I can't really explain this. She's like, I can't really, you just have to be there.

She said, I can't really explain it. You would have to see it, I guess. Search black people laughing on TikTok. Oh, obviously some of them are meant to be parodies, but you'll get one up getting at it. I'm trying to explain it in order for the next part to make sense as far as my interpretation at the time. I thought so funny.

Also, have you ever in a moment that you thought that was one thing, and once you realize it's a completely different thing, it's almost like a shock to your system. Like you already processed this information. And now that something has come to your attention, that completely changes what you thought you knew, you have to reprocess the information again. It's very jarring. I'm so scared. All right.

Trigger warning. It's about to get heavy. Narlie, if you will. So in the 13-year-old was headed back in our direction, where her friends in this piece of shit, statutory rapist were all waiting for her, she was bent forward kind of jogging, and it looked like she was holding her chest.

I thought she was laughing. Like she just did what she did. Like she just thought what she did or how the girl reacted to being hit in the back of the head was funny, that she was trotting over, bent over, and laughter. But then she stood up straight. I can kind of remember thinking not in a sentence in my mind, but just acknowledging the shift and understanding she's not laughing. Then she fell on her back and was holding her neck with both hands. Oh my god, no.

Real quick, I have never cried about this before, not once, not even when it happened. I've told this story so many times to so many people over the years I have no idea why I'm crying now, but back to it. Sometimes writing will bring that out. Yeah, the 12 year old had a knife I guess she had it in just in case. Baltimore is one of those cities. It's beautiful and unique and full of culture I'm melting pot in every sense of the word on the one hand, and it's dirty, grimy, and scariest fuck on the other. I was blessed enough not to have been exposed to much of the grime. The girls who believed they had to carry knives for such a time as this, just in case, were not so fortunate, unfortunately.

Maybe she overheard the plan for the 13-year-old to come after her. Even though she was walking away, she had her knife at the ready, a kitchen knife. Holy shit! You could tell after she got hit that she was walking away, she had her knife at the ready, a kitchen knife. Holy shit. You could tell after she got hit that she just swung. It was just one swing. She got hit in the back of the head. She turned arm swinging with the momentum

from the rest of her body and yelled, lead me the fuck alone. Then she turned back to go towards the train. I don't think she knew exactly what she had done. That was a freak accident. The 12 year old wasn't aiming for her neck. She wasn't aiming at all. But she stabbed the 13-year-old girl in the neck with a single wild defensive unnamed swing. How crazy. Oh my god. When the 13-year-old stood up straight, her arms were by her side and blood was gushing from her neck. She then fell backwards onto her

back on the ground holding her neck. The next thing I remember is being home. By the time I got home, it was on the news. And the time it took me and Tiffany to get to my house, 13-year-old girl died. My mother was watching the news when we walked in. I said, Mommy, we were just down there. I saw that girl get cut. She looked mad, but not mad at me. I feel like she was mad at the fact that I had witnessed that.

I don't really remember her saying anything about it after that. I'm sure she did, but I have no memory. So the part related to the title of this long-ass tale that I really didn't think was going to be that long. Y'all still with me. Here we are. I am with you, Jordan. I will always be with you, Jordan.

I don't know when I realized it, but at some point years later, I realized when I look back on that incident, I do not see the blood. I see everything I described to you, but the blood part, I realized when I look back on that incident, I do not see the blood. I see everything I described to you, but the blood part I just know. I remember what I saw, but the blood is just gone from my memory. Wow.

I was talking to Tiffany about it at whatever point I realized it, and she was like, what? How could you forget all that blood? We were talking about how much blood there was on the way home. It was all over her neck. It was all over the street. It was a lot. I do not see the blood at all. At all. Maybe it's like your brain like took it out. So yeah, like some kind of defense mechanism. Just totally took that part out. The girl blood to death from being stabbed in the neck. Oh my god. Obviously there was blood. And yet even thinking about it, and visualizing it right now while I'm typing there is no blood. None. She stands up straight, no blood, just a normal neck. She bends over, no blood dripping. She holds her neck, nothing spurting out. It's literally like my brain was like, okay, girl,

that's a bit much. Let's just erase that little tidbit. We don't need it. I think that's literally what your brain did. Yeah. That's pretty much that, that's pretty much that on that. Keep it fucking weird, y'all, but not so weird that you know What do keep it so weird that your brain knows what you can handle and delete score scenes from your mind from she from some shit That should not have happened that you should not have witnessed at 15 or at any age in order not to go fucking more Kuku for Coco puffs than you already are keep it that fucking weird Terry weird take care ladies Jordan My god Jordan Jordan you are hilarious and also Keep it that fucking weird. Teri, weird. Take care, ladies, Jordan. Oh my God, Jordan. Jordan, you are hilarious.

And also, I am so glad that your brain did that for you. I know. Because holy shit. Me, oh my. Like holy shit. Damn. I could see that entire thing. Me too.

Me too. You, you really painted that picture. I know, I can't get it out of my head. Like truly. And I see your little picture with your name there, and you are so pretty. Oh, I didn't even see. I just see the little email picture.

Oh, you are so pretty. And you're just fucking funny, George. You're hilarious. We are our best friends with all of you at this point. But my God, I'm so sorry you had to see that and that poor girl, both of those poor girls, it's like, it's like you're so young and you, you argue over like a boy and then that happens.

A man that you never have been in your life at all. It's like Jesus Christ. It's like why didn't that man get down and like tie a shirt around that girl's like, why don't you do something? Where were her friends like, what the fuck? But damn, that was quite a batch. Yeah, boys aren't worth it, y'all. They're not.

Ain't nobody's worth it. No, nobody's. Boys aren't worth it, girls aren't worth it. No one's worth it. No way. No one's worth that. Wow, all right, well, those delivered per usual. Yeah, they did.

You always do. We love you. We love you so much. If you have a listener tale, just for those that are unlike social media, don't know where the show notes are. Yeah. If you have a listener tale, just for those that are on social media or don't know where the show notes are. Yeah. If you have a listener tale, go ahead and send it on into our Gmail.

It's morbidpodcast at gmail.com and just throw listener tale somewhere in the subject line for us. And Jordan, great suggestion. If you have one about alternate realities, lucid dreaming, like any kind of dream ones, make sure you say that in the subject line And we'll make a little theme-y one. Deb-debble do it. Deb-debble do as Deb-deb's the fucking greatest. Deb-deb. She's a goat. She's a goat.

Oh, happy Hanukkah Deb-deb? Oh yeah, happy Hanukkah everybody. I don't have a Hanukkah to all our Jewish listeners. Happy Hanukkah. All right, well, we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it! Wee! But that's so weird that you don't send us in your own tail. Hell yeah. Did you like that dingo?

I did. Good. Hey, Prime Members! You can listen to Morvid, Early, and Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus and Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.