Morbid - Episode 426: Listener Tales 67

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to morbid, early, and ad-free on Amazon music. Download the app today. You're listening to Immorbid Network Podcast. Hi, I'm Lindsay Graham, the host of Wondries Podcast American Scandal. Our newest series looks at the Kids for Cash Scandal, a story about two judges who stood accused of making millions of dollars in a brazen scheme that shattered the lives of countless children. Listen to American scandal on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey weirdos, I'm Ash.

Starting point is 00:00:35 And I'm Alaina. And this is morbid. Hello, Clarice. We're here. And it's a listener tale, which means that it's brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you. And I am half awake because my youngest has decided to go into a complete sleep. What is it called? The reversion?

Starting point is 00:01:15 Yeah. I don't know. I don't know which way this up or down or left or right, or I don't even know if I'm here right now. This could be a dream. It's not. Some awake, unfortunately. Yes.

Starting point is 00:01:27 But not unfortunately, because this is listener tails. Thank goodness this is listener tails, because this is gonna bring the punchy-nush. Punchy-nush. Are you okay? I'm not. I'm not. The answer is no.

Starting point is 00:01:39 I'll tell you how I'm doing. Not well, bitch. But you know what, this will bring the punchiness out. It already is. Look at that. It already bring the punchiness out. It already is. Look at that. It already started. I got you. Here it is.

Starting point is 00:01:49 We're here. We're going to talk about some college stories. Yeah. There's some, there's murder, there's ghosts, there's back rubs. There's back rubs at 3am. There's swelling, there's all the cusses. There's also muffins from hell. I was just going to say.

Starting point is 00:02:03 Wow. Glass muffin. Glass. Glass muffin. Glass. Blood muffin. Tell me you were born in a specific decade. You were about telling me. Yeah. Do you want to start this lovely installment?

Starting point is 00:02:17 Yeah. I think it's good that you start because we got to keep that brain going. We got to keep going. If I stop too long, I might not off. So let's go. We'll stop thatac. So the first one we have here is my BFF in college was a whole last ghost. Oh, damn. All right. Here we go. It says, Hey, weirdo's. My name is yes, you can use it. Emily. Emily, I like how you spell it. There's an E before the

Starting point is 00:02:43 Y. I like that. That is pretty. I've been listening since the start, thanks to a friend of a friend who introduced me to y'all while driving to a bachelor at party. Thanks, Lauren, is Lauren the ghost. Oh, let me say that you two are the bright spot in my day, and I can't wait to silence all the calls. I never answer anyways to listen to the newest episode drop soon, but congrats on your book, Elena, thank you. And congrats on your engagement, upcoming wedding ass. Thank you. So happy for y'all, but enough about my love for y'all

Starting point is 00:03:10 because I could go on all day, LOL, also trigger warning. This meant, the story has mentions of suicide. Thank you for that. Yeah, thank you. But thank you for being weird and making your listeners lives better by being your genuine selves. I fucking love you.

Starting point is 00:03:23 Attached as a putt of a for your reading pleasure. It's about a six minute read. Wow, look at you guys. I fucking love you. Attached as a putt of fuff for your reading pleasure, it's about a six minute read. Wow, look at you guys. I love when you guys do that. I apologize in advance if it seems all over the place since I'm a weirdo and never like to admit details. Oh, a gal after my own heart. I was gonna say.

Starting point is 00:03:37 Love you, awesome lady so much. I love you, awesome lady. All right. Back in college, I lived in an old-ass house that was once the president of the university. That's really cool. It was built in the late 1800s and it was old with lots of noises and creeks. I had a few roommates over the years and we all just assumed it was because the house

Starting point is 00:03:55 was old. We were wrong. So often. The first thing that really caught our attention was the cold spots in the house and how doors would weirdly open by themselves. Fans and lights turned on amongst other things. Unless it was a private door, all common space doors needed to stay open or else they would just open.

Starting point is 00:04:14 After one roommate moved out and the new one moved in, we noticed that the bar and her closet was bent in the middle, making it hard to store clothes in there. She just bought a portable clothes rack, the old room made just had some heavy coats since the winters get pretty brutal up here in pencil, pencil tucky. I ran cross country while in college, so I was good friends with a lot of other athletes on the other sports teams. I don't remember how it came up, but I was talking to someone on the soccer team and mentioning how our house might be haunted due to all the weird occurrences that happen.

Starting point is 00:04:44 Her eyes got wide and she asked where I lived. I described the house and the location, and I could tell her heart just sank, trigger warning. She began to tell me how there was a girl who used to be on the team who was a bubbly, kind, amazing person. One day, her and her girlfriend broke up, and she was extremely upset by that.

Starting point is 00:05:03 She didn't come to practice that particular day day and her teammates reached out with no response. They all figured it was due to her coping with the breakup and she just needed some space. A few days go by and she wasn't showing up for class or practice, so everyone started to get really worried. A few of her teammates showed up at the house, the one I currently am renting, to check up on their friend. The roommates at the time let her in and currently am renting, to check up on their friend. The roommates at the time letter in and said they hadn't seen or heard from their roommate

Starting point is 00:05:29 in a few days. The girls go upstairs to find her door locked. They went next door to the landlord to have him help open the door to check on her. Once the landlord helped open the door, they found their friend hanging from the bar in the closet. Oh my god. Oh my god. And that's why the bar in the closet. Oh my God. Oh my God. And that's why the bar was bent.

Starting point is 00:05:47 Exactly. And I just can't imagine finding your friend like that. Like honestly, my entire body just like, oh my God. I was saddened and shocked. This poor soul, this poor girl was still in the house with us. She obviously was a very kind, friendly ghost. And we wanted to make sure she felt welcomed in the house. us. She obviously was a very kind, friendly ghost, and we wanted to make sure she felt welcome in the house.

Starting point is 00:06:07 Oh my God, I love you guys. After I got home, I told my roommates. We all made the decision to talk to her in the living room to let her know she's welcome to stay and we don't mean her any harm. You are all wonderful, so truly wonderful. Once we finished, there was this weird calming sensation that kind of came over me. I don't know how to describe it, but it just felt right.

Starting point is 00:06:27 A majority of my roommates were in a sorority, and the one that wasn't was always away with her boyfriend on weekends. Since I ran cross-country and track, I was usually gone on the weekends at track meets or getting home hell-alate from the track meets. If I was home, my sorority roommates were usually out at mixers or parties. Since they've woken me up at early hours of the morning, previously to let them in the house. This particular evening, I decided to just leave the front door unlocked. I know, I know.

Starting point is 00:06:54 But I was a grandma in college, LOL, I still am a grandma. I wanted to sleep. I feel that. Dangerous. So I texted them all since I was the only one at the house to let them know since I was already snuggled up in the blanket It's ready to go to bed They pretty much all responded and said they were at their parents house or would their significant others so they weren't coming back

Starting point is 00:07:13 When I say my stomach hit the floor my stomach hit the floor that meant my pussy ass would have to get out of bed Run through the dark house to lock the door and run back to my room. In the dark, nope, it's weird. I love true crime, but scary stuff is a no-go, my dude. I can't watch horror scary movies without being able to shower or sleep normally for the next seven years. Honestly, I'm still that way. I watched the grudge at a sleepover in the seventh grade, and my sister had to stay in the bathroom with me

Starting point is 00:07:40 while I showered because I was awful. So I did what any girl would do. I snuggled up extra tight under the blankets because obviously these plush blankets would protect me if any monsters tried to come in. Accurate. Not any girl because I am a Fort Knox congal and I would brave it and go lock all those doors.

Starting point is 00:07:57 I would absolutely brave it and go lock those doors. I could not sit, but that's just me and my paranoia. Full neuroses. I could not sit up in bed with the door unlock. No, I have home invasion dreams constantly. Well, I always have my doors locked. Oh, yeah. I never have my doors on my own.

Starting point is 00:08:13 I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own.

Starting point is 00:08:21 I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. I never have my doors on my own. like that's Fort Knox up in here. After I fell asleep under the eight-plush blanket on my bed, I woke up to the sun rising through the windows. Beautiful. As I groggily get out of bed, I go to open the door to go pee, and it won't open. What the fuck? I think as I try to jiggle it open, nope, nothing. It won't open. I don't like that. Since the house was old, the lock was a little weird sliding button under the door knob. After attempting multiple jiggles, I noticed the door was locked. What?

Starting point is 00:08:49 I was the only one here. After I unlock it, I do my business and come back to my room. It hit me that the front door was still unlocked, so I went to lock it and see that it's locked. At this point, I'm a little confused because I was the only one there that night. And it hit me. My ghost bestie locked the door for me because she knew I was terrified. Oh!

Starting point is 00:09:11 I thanked her. And again, this ridiculous comming sensation washed over me. At this point, at this point on, I knew my ghostie and I were BFFs. Literally you are. I love that that's the first thing you thought of. Because I'm gonna, I'm gonna capricorn this right up for you real fast. My immediate

Starting point is 00:09:30 thought would be someone broke into this house. They locked the door behind them because they forgot or they wanted to make it just look like there was no forced entry. Yeah. So I would be out of that house like lickety split. Yeah. Well maybe they, this listener like searched around first. Oh, yeah, no, like that felt it. I would much rather think the other way. Oh, yeah. But my harsh ass won't think anything less

Starting point is 00:09:53 than there is another human in this house. I don't even think that's just like capricorn thinking. Yeah. I think that's just like true crime. That's just true crimey thinking. I would be so fucking terrified. When you talk about like brutal, brutal cases for a day in and day out, like, yeah, for four years, but like, is that where we're out right now? Who knows?

Starting point is 00:10:10 Yeah. Like, yeah, that's your mind goes to a certain place. I love that you were like, they would do that. So it didn't look like forced entry. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what it would be. But you know what?

Starting point is 00:10:22 It was your ghost bestie. I wanted to try to protect you. Yes, yes. I wonder how often that happens. Yeah. That like they figure out a different way to go out so that it doesn't look like there was forced entry. Why is my mind to never thought of that?

Starting point is 00:10:36 Like it's one of those little cookie locks that like you can just like turn the knob and then close the door and it's locked. Wow, I'm just saying. Wowie, Kazawi. Which is why'm just saying. Wowie Kazawi. Which is why you should have multiple locks on your door. Don't just rely on that one little lock because it's a little wily creature that little lock

Starting point is 00:10:53 and they can also go, boom, and they can open that door. I've seen it on a TikTok. And remember, dead bolts. Ma, ma, ma, your mom. You could open her door with a credit card. Yeah, like doors are pretty easy to open. So you got to make sure you have several locks.

Starting point is 00:11:06 Get a deadbolt, get a door guardian. If you're in an apartment, still get a door guardian. Fuck that. True safety is priority. Oh yeah, we added multiple locks. They can't tell you that you can. Yeah, no, it's safety. And also like your security deposit

Starting point is 00:11:20 doesn't worth it over your safety or safety. Exactly, over your safety. Exactly. Drew got us like some hotel, at your local things. Yeah, the little thing that you can put in the door to make it so it can open. Yeah, he got a couple other things too.

Starting point is 00:11:34 Yeah, for an upcoming trip. There's a lot of gadgets that you can get. I love a gadget. Yeah, and there's also, there's a TikTok account. Yeah, you guys shot this man's out. I got a shot him because I'm a real fan of this guy. He's got a very soothing voice. I think he has a podcast now too, which I'm like,

Starting point is 00:11:52 good for him. He should. Because his voice is lovely. He's very knowledgeable. Yeah, he is. He's a very knowledgeable guy. And he's like a former investigator and he specialized in like crimes against children, I think.

Starting point is 00:12:06 Oh, shit. So he's got a lot of insight into certain things. He's been talking about the Idaho case a lot. And he gives really good insight. He doesn't speculate. He doesn't theorize. I love that. He just gives you what he sees from the facts.

Starting point is 00:12:20 What is out? And he says, this is what I would say is proud. It's not like a wild speculation kind of thing. Like he doesn't blame people. He doesn't know. He just looks at the facts. So his TikTok name is pure power 34, which is even better. Pure power, pure power. But I think you can find him under killer B, B-E-E, tactical. And he also teaches on his account, like ways, like self-defense techniques. He has like an Amazon store where he puts like those kind of locks that you can add to your doors and stuff in there. Love.

Starting point is 00:12:57 So like go in there and check it out. Shoot that man's a follow. Yeah, he's very knowledgeable. And I haven't listened to his podcast yet. And I think it's, I'm fairly certain it's new, but I want to listen to it because I think he has a very soothing voice and very knowledgeable. So that's all I know about him. Is that he has a good page?

Starting point is 00:13:13 Go check it out. Go check it out. So yeah, killer be tactical. Obviously the weird occurrences kept happening, but we knew it was my ghost bestie and always invited her to have dinner with us or watch the occasional Disney movie with us. You guys are so pure, I love it. One night after my school hosted a cross country invotational, my mom decided to stay with me

Starting point is 00:13:33 since all my roomies were not going to be there. Since it was a college house, and we didn't have a guest room, my mom had the couch for the night. After we hung out, it was time for bed. She mentioned that the door in the kitchen was freaking her out needed to be shut. Mind you, I grew up with super strict Christian parents, Britney Spears, Vaxery boys, and middle school dances were what sinners did.

Starting point is 00:13:56 So I never got to partake. Oh, Spears. Also ghost didn't exist her. So there was a staircase that started at the bottom of the dining room that led up stairs that you could see from the living room that had a door on it. I was like, no mom, that door stays open. My ghost bestie likes free range of the house. I love it.

Starting point is 00:14:19 I love it. I love it. This is the way it is. My mom was like, yeah right, ghost don't exist. And I'm like, no mom, my ghost bestie is for real. So my mom does what she wants and goes and closes the door. I'm like, I wouldn't if I were you. She says she'll be fine and we say goodnight. About five minutes later, you hear, creeeeeee. The door opens. My mom is like, em, was that you? And I'm like, no, mom, I'm just trying to go to bed.

Starting point is 00:14:43 I told you, my ghost bestie doesn't like the door shut. Just keep it open. She listens for about 2.4 seconds and decides to shut it again. I stopped fighting with her as she heads back into the kitchen. She puts a chair in front of the door and comes back to the living room. And she starts to tell me what she did. You literally, as she starts to tell me what she did,

Starting point is 00:15:01 you literally can hear the chair being pushed along the floor and the door slamming open. The ghost is like, I like my fucking door open. Like ghosts exist. I am real. My mom literally noped her way out of the living room and straight into my bed. Needless to say, she now believes in ghosts

Starting point is 00:15:19 and we shared my bed that night. I love it. Not long after I graduated and I moved out to this day, I still think about my Ghost Bestie and hope the new tenants invite her to have some ice cream and movie dates with them. An amazing soul gone too soon, but it's comforting to know she had a welcome spot in the house when we were there. I love that. So that's my tale. If you all read this, I will literally roll down my windows at the red lights. I stop at and tell people

Starting point is 00:15:41 around me to listen to it. So I roll in down that window. I love it. I love you, ladies, so much, and keeping weird, but not so weird that you're going to go as best as to let your strict mom know that goes to exist. And one is your daughter's BFF. Bye. Oh my god. That is hilarious. I was so cute what it took for your mom to,

Starting point is 00:15:58 she was like, well, she was like, you know what? Yeah, change. She's like, it changed. Changed woman right here. Changed forever. What if you were trafficked into a cult over shot nine times or fell in love with a vampire or went into a minor surgery and woke up one week later, paralyzed. What would you do?

Starting point is 00:16:29 I'm Whit Missildine, the creator of this is actually happening, a podcast from Wondry that brings you extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. From a young man that dooms his entire future with one choice, to a woman who survived a notorious serial killer. You'll hear their first person account of how they overcame remarkable circumstances. Each episode is an exploration of the human spirit and personal discovery. These haunting accounts sound like Hollywood movies, but

Starting point is 00:17:01 I assure you this is actually happening.. Follow this is actually happening wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to ad free on the Amazon Music or Wonder app. Well, this person's also pretty changed forever. This supposed to kill people are gonna be. It says, How a home invader just wanting to give 3 a.m. backrubs almost got yeeted straight to hell. Yeah. We got it.

Starting point is 00:17:33 Yep. This is from Gary. It says hello. My name is Gary. Feel free to use it. I have attached for you a double space putt-a-fah. However you spell that, that's exactly how. For you to be in it.

Starting point is 00:17:42 Pleasure. It's about a six minute read. Same as the last one. I love that. So you should have plenty of time for your other spooky tales. Gary and Laura, my wife and Aspen are seven-year-old Belgian Malinois. Malinois? I don't know how to spell them.

Starting point is 00:18:00 Malinois's? Let's. Yeah, I don't know. Malinois, I'm going to say no. No, I'm going to say no. Dogs'm gonna say no I dogs. I think like Illinois. Yeah Okay, hey weirdos my wife Laura and I are sitting here listening to one of your episodes while ignoring the rest of the shit heap that has been 2020 2021. Oh in most of 2022. Oh felt yeah felt that's so hard. We just bought a house. Congratulations That's awesome. So hopefully if you read it, I know, okay, that's like huge.

Starting point is 00:18:26 If you read this, we'll be listening while knee deep and home depot boxes and packing tape. Hell yeah. I hope you are. I hope actually you're done with that and you're sitting on your cozy couch drinking a nice cup of whatever you like to drink and just listening. I want that cozy moment for you guys. I wanted to share my tale of how an unsuspecting home invader just wanting to share with the joy of a good 3am back rub almost got himself You did straight into the bowels of hell feel free to use my name and my wife's name Gary and Laura everybody else's has been changed Well both ship bricks if you read our story Gary and Laura Laura and Gary That would be so painful. So let's get in our way back machine.

Starting point is 00:19:06 Glad I kept those 4D batteries around. Oh yeah, I could trip back to 2013. I'm living in Boone, North Carolina, finishing my bachelor's degree at Appalachian. Oh, you gave it to us. To hit university. Like I'm gonna throw an Appalachian if you say it wrong. I lived there.

Starting point is 00:19:23 I'm from there. I know how to say it. I will die on this hill. Don't at me. No, you know what? I believe you. If you're from there and live there, then Apalachia is.

Starting point is 00:19:32 Yep. I'll never say it the other way. Apalachian, Apalachian. I might say it the other way, but I will think of you. Well, I have a really terrible memory, so it's also possible that I will, but I don't at me. But I won't mean to. But me either.

Starting point is 00:19:44 I will try to think of you, care and more. I think you're more. La Dida. I'm finishing my last year of my five years five year bachelor's degree because I can't finish anything on time. Just ask my wife, Laura. This period of time like most folks was a complete drunken shit show. Hooray for college, strong livers, bad decisions, and somehow still managing to survive. I hear rain to that. I'm living in a rented house about a mile from campus and the four or five bar situated in this rather sleepy mountain town.

Starting point is 00:20:19 The setting of the house is important to the story where you laugh for me. of the house is important to the story. Why are you laughing? I think you were just like, um, I think I caught your tired. You like set my energy. I got kind of tired. I think it didn't change because all of a sudden you were like,

Starting point is 00:20:33 well, I'm in empath. It was like you just word down. Yeah. It's been happening to me. What can I say? I had to take your set, not sadness. Oh my God, my tiredness. You really did.

Starting point is 00:20:44 I did, yeah. I feel very tired. Because I'm like, here, I'm like, let's go. Well, we read some listener tales. I went to bed at 11.30 last night, not 10. Oh, big difference for more. So you get it. I know, you're like, I didn't go to bed last night also.

Starting point is 00:20:59 I just slept for 48 minutes, I think. That's, you welcomed that shit though, you had kids. Whoa, you know, look at this. You know what I mean? Look at this person blaming me. That's awesome. All right, anyway, this thing on the house is important to the story, so bear with me.

Starting point is 00:21:15 It's a five bedroom house with three college girls living upstairs. Mary Melody and Brittany live upstairs. And my roommate Chad and I are living in the basement. Yes, the basement. And yes, Chad. Of course, Chad. I think he or her name Chad was changed to Chad, which I love. But it was perfect. Chad brought and thought. It's undergrowned on three walls and was very poorly renovated. So the shipbag landlord could extract more rent from some poor college students.

Starting point is 00:21:41 If you're a little old this time. Oh yeah, I had so many friends that lived in like basements. Yeah. Quote, quote, unquote, basement apartment. I'm like, I don't know what this is. I think this is a small cave you live in. If you're looking into the basement living area through the front and only door, the living room is to your right with my bedroom further past that. I can see that. Yeah. My bedroom is about a 10 by 10 football. So So they quote unquote, clause it in the back that really just holds a giant, smelly, environmentally murdering diesel furnace that does a feeble at best job of keeping this brick-shit house warm. Damn, that's sometimes. That's sometimes.

Starting point is 00:22:17 Honestly, lighting it on fire would have been the best way to stave off hypothermia. This furnace is right behind the headboard of my bed and has an awkward little window. The kind that's just above ground level and is like six feet high on the inside. If you're looking at the furnace, the staircase coming downstairs is on my left-hand side, behind the wall, and my bedroom door is behind you. Okay. This story occurred sometime in the spring of 2013, because I moved shortly thereafter when the lease ended. After a heavy night of drinking, it was probably a Tuesday and we wanted to have star-liver strengths for no reason, hashtag college.

Starting point is 00:22:50 I'm laying in my bed, deadass asleep. My roommate chat is asleep, I suppose, because who the fuck knows what he does in his free time? In the other room downstairs. No, cell service doesn't travel through dirt and mud and cement walls, so I can send I messages on my iPhone, go Steve Jobs, but can't call or text any non-Apple folks. This is important later. Okay.

Starting point is 00:23:12 Sometime around 3.30 to 4 am, my phone dings and has a missed call. Somehow it notified me of a missed call, but I can't answer it. It's my upstairs roommate, Brittany. I think it's odd, but go back to sleep because they've been out at bars drinking the night away. I assume she locked herself out, but got a roommate to let her in. Anyway, a little while later, I get an eye message from Mary, a different roommate. That simply reads, get your gun and come upstairs. Oh, that's different. What the fuck? Mind you, I'm the token red and I got this situation. Thank Darryl for walking dead, but 5, 8, weighing

Starting point is 00:23:41 150 pounds soaking wet with a brick in each hand. So slightly less timid intimidating. I love this. Naturally, I'm the one called to deal with vermin. Old house issues, car problems, street wildlife, and apparently, home invaders. Oh, you're one stop shop. You are. My dude. Everybody needs a Gary, right, Lor?

Starting point is 00:23:59 Everybody does. Not wanting to walk into God only fucking knows what. I text Mary back something to the effect of what the fuck is happening. Don't blame me. I don't either. Somehow through the reflection of Mars bouncing across the space to agree past. Past a cosmic knots helmet and into the tiny ass window in my room. Cell service finds me and I call for Mary.

Starting point is 00:24:21 That's true and I answer. I'll never forget this sound of her voice. And the most quiet, quivering whisperer, imaginable. She says, someone is in the house. I think they're robbing us. Oh, God, the bedroom door knob is turning. No! Then the call drops into complete silence.

Starting point is 00:24:38 No, I would have shot myself. It's Mary, okay. Mary, are you okay? Are you okay? Now I am wide fucking awake, riding in a drunnel and high, sitting on the edge of my bed and the total darkness asks cheeks clenched. So fucking tight, I almost made a diamond out of the mattress cover. I managed to retrieve my hand and from its lock box.

Starting point is 00:25:00 Gun safety is important. Yes it is. Mary texts my roommate Chad and I, the only appropriate useful chat that she thinks the person is left and asks us to come upstairs again. Me not wanting to either get stabbed, whack with a bat, or shoot a roomie in this situation, replied back, fuck that. Call the police and have them clear the house. It is in fact their job after all. That is very true. That's a solid point. Now remember that staircase outside by bedroom wall. Well, someone very quietly and very slowly walks down, pauses, and then goes back upstairs. Mind you, everyone isn't in their bedrooms waiting on the cops. I'm a bunch of go full major

Starting point is 00:25:37 pain shooting up the boogeyman and kids closing if you know you know. Kick, kick, right about now. The cops are I've yelling show of office flashing bright ass lights and brandishing all sorts of weapons from handgun shotguns assault rifles cuz well North Carolina AKA the South they were not fucking around at 4.30 a.m. or whatever time this was They come in clear the house and get us all together in the upstairs kitchen to take statements I put on a pot of coffee because you know, this day must have originated in the pits of hell, but caffeine makes everything better. It's so true. It's true. I would have done the same thing. That's all I want right now is a nice old coiff. Nice old coiff. I would like a nice new coiff, but to each their own.

Starting point is 00:26:18 Being a new man, wait what? He's like a nice old coiff. No, no, a nice ice coiff. They said a nice old coiff. I was like, I would like a new one, a nice old coffee. No, no, a nice ice coffee. They said a nice old coffee. I was like, I would like a new one. But I'd love an old, old, hot coffee. That's what I was thinking. Wow, I think it's the way I said, Oh, I think that's such a choice. No, I didn't know how to coffee.

Starting point is 00:26:36 You should be able to drink coffee. Yeah, you know, it's just like the hipster thing and you. And it's really like when it's been sitting out for like days. It's better for the flavor noise. But it has a layer of fuzz it. That's my big risk. OK, you're losing me. I'm vomiting.

Starting point is 00:26:49 I'm vomiting. They determine that we had a lot to wear that led to nowhere. Should have been to a deck, but the deck was never built, so just had a three-foot drop. That's fucking amazing. Wow, imagine if you just opened that door one day, and you were just like, oh, that's literally some beetle juice shit

Starting point is 00:27:05 Wow, the fuck what rummaging around our house use that door left it open But war gloves because when they dusted the knob for fingerprints they got zilch About this time one of the outside officers radios to the others and asks if a particular window was open It's early spring so it's cold as a witch's titty and a braitty and a brass bra doing push-ups in the snow outside. So no, the window wasn't supposed to be open. That shit stain had opened the window in Chad's room, but must have decided against crawling in because there was a box fan sitting in it. Not to cause a commotion, he went to the opposite side of the house, found the unlocked no deck door. And later on that day, I went to the hardware store and bought a drill

Starting point is 00:27:45 and a box of three-inch screws and screwed both windows and the downstairs so tightly shut that not even Satan himself could open them because... fresh air is for dead people. Yes, Gary. Nothing was stolen, which I thought was weird, but upon this revelation, the cops were instantly like, oh yeah, this is the back rub guy. What? Fuck me sideways, y'all know how this is. Well, I'll go into that in a minute. The cops leave and we try our best to go about our normal day.

Starting point is 00:28:15 The last cop out the door walks over to me. They knew I had a handgun because they asked. A soul overtook me when I sent hand. A handgun. It's like a handgun, but different. He sheds my hand. Thanks for the coffee and says, if someone breaks into my house

Starting point is 00:28:30 then the rest of the night, the only way they're leaving was with toe tags and walks out of the door. Again, welcome to the mountains of North Carolina. He just drops a prime time cop drama line and then walks out. He's like, thanks for the coffee. And by the way, I would murder a man

Starting point is 00:28:44 if he came in my house. Okay, this kid's like, I'm in college and I'm stillped around the line and then walks out. So it's like thanks for the coffee. And by the way, I would murder a man if he came in my house. Okay, this kid's like, I'm in college and I'm still shit faced. But he's like, I'm auditioning for a bit part on Chicago PD. The only thing that would have made that better if he's lit a cigarette on the way out. I can't help it. Yeah. Wow. Or like took a swig from like a-

Starting point is 00:29:00 Immediately drop the cigarette and stamped it out at your feet. Yeah. Just walked like blue and oh and your face and left. Got to get back to the station. Oh. So back to this back rub. Yeah, please. Because you veered away from that too quickly and I was like, uh, turns out this fucking shit bag of a human being with stock college girls at the local bars.

Starting point is 00:29:22 He would select one he liked and follow her home. Sometime later that night, when the victim to be was dead asleep or passed out from the deluge of alcohol, he would break into their house. The goal of all this was to get into her bed, snuggle up behind her, and give her a fucking back rub. No.

Starting point is 00:29:40 Abs of fucking looting not asshole. No. Apparently this happened to several people by this point. After the unwanted massage, he would just leave quietly. This has to be the most stress-inducing back rub anybody has ever gotten in the history of the universe. Truly. Later on that year, July I think,

Starting point is 00:29:58 the sack of meat with a skeleton inside, see what I did there, was arrested and charged with a litany of offenses. I don't know what ever happened to this douche canoe was arrested and charged with a litany of offenses. I don't know what ever happened to this douche canoe, but I have attached a link to the article. Please feel free to dig into this more and discuss whatever happened. Ooh, what the fuck?

Starting point is 00:30:14 I wanna look into this. Hope you enjoy this tale. My wife and I love, love, love your show. Be sure to keep it weird, take it away, Ash. But that's a word that you break into somebody's house in the middle of the night and get crawl into their fucking bed with them and start touching them.

Starting point is 00:30:26 Like you have any fucking right to do that and have any idea who this person even is. I hope you got clocked in the face the last time you did that and pooped on. Fuck yeah. Yeah, a PS Elena. You should join forces with Ashley Flowers over at crime junky and go full fucking nuclear

Starting point is 00:30:42 on crime cases in slash near West Memphis, Arkansas. Fuck yeah. I'm pretty sure there's enough pent-up rage between the two of you to solve several cases. Yeah. The West Memphis three and the boys on the track. 10-10-20 crime junkie episode. Shit's wild. Fuck yeah. Let's go solve that shit. There you go. Let's all go to West Memphis Arkansas and just fuck shit up. Yeah. Something needs to move in the West Memphis case. Seriously. So I'm saying. But hell yeah, Gary for the win. And Laura and Aspen forever, forever.

Starting point is 00:31:13 And you know what? I look at these dogs. Let me see these puppies. Is that a gerbil? A gerbil? Look at this gerbil dress, like a fucking lobster. I'm obsessed. Look at it. It's a gerbil? A gerbil? Look at this gerbil dress, like a fucking lobster. I'm obsessed. Look at it.

Starting point is 00:31:27 It's a gerbil. Dressed up in Retriever is dressed as a fucking chef Reno. And then this dog is dressed as a little reindeer with a beard. Guys, I love your animals, and I love that you send them to us. Oh my god, the dog dressed as a fucking chef. Oh, it's from the little mermaid. I get it. The chef with the lobster. I love the sweetest chef. Oh my god. I love it. I'm not like a big rodent person. Yeah. Jerbils. Is that what that is? Is that a gerbil? I've hamstered or a gerbil.

Starting point is 00:32:00 No, I don't know what the different hamsters are. They're like so small. I've never had either. So I've never had a hamster. No. Good for you. I had a hermit crab. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, yeah, as soon as they go, skitter, skitter, then I go, yep, I don't like it. All right, but I like yours. I like yours. This one is called, and can we say your name? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:32:32 Oh, find out. So this one is called one spooky, one sketchy dorm dweller and eating out of the park. All right, here we go. Hi. Hello, beautiful ladies. I've been wanting to send you these tales for a long time by my ADD kept distract squirrel.

Starting point is 00:32:48 Ah, same. I discovered your podcast in November 2021. After I accidentally acted out Newton's Third Law every action as an equal and opposite reaction. My husband and I were in the crawl space to insulate the house for winter. When I stood up quickly, slammed my head into the support beam of the house and hit the ground equally as fast.

Starting point is 00:33:06 Oh, with a doozy of a concussion. That's a bad head. That just made me mad at her. Yeah. Being the awesome guy he is, he immediately got me out of there and iced my head. Oh. In the following weeks,

Starting point is 00:33:17 I could not look at screens for very long. I thought a podcast would be the best solution because I could listen with my eyes closed. Yeah. Happily, I found more best. See. Our old lady, Lab Lexily, I found more bits. See. Our old lady, Lab Lexi, had just gone through ACL surgery. So the two of us laid on the living room floor,

Starting point is 00:33:31 binge listening to you both. Oh my gosh. Lexi and mom just hanging out. Hang in out. I've been hooked ever since. Thank you for getting me and Lexi through our healing stage and sharing so many horrible stories in a way that respects the victims.

Starting point is 00:33:44 You have made me laugh out loud and tear up. I was actually disappointed the day I caught up and listened to all of your episodes because now I have to wait each week for my fix. I was so excited for you, Ash, and cannot wait to hear all about your wedding. Yay! I am also so excited for you, Elena,

Starting point is 00:33:58 for writing and publishing your book. Thank you. I bought it on Audible, hell yeah. Alas, I am old and every time I sit down to read, I fall asleep and I am loving it. I'm so glad. During the pandemic, I too wrote a book that I am hoping to publish in January. Oh shit, it's January at this very moment. What's happening? I can relate to how much goes into writing and publishing a book. I would love to send you each a copy when it is ready. Oh my god, I would love to tell me the name. Oh my God. I want to buy it.

Starting point is 00:34:25 Please, please, please. I want to buy it. I like to support the author. Yeah. Anywho, and good for you, man. Any two onto any who onto my tails, feel free to use any names as they have all been changed. Cool.

Starting point is 00:34:36 The first one takes place in East where the hell are we Kentucky? I was born and raised in New Jersey, but decided to go to the same school where my dad had gone to college. It was a culture shock for sure. The only things in our town were convenience store, hardies, subway, and a supermarket that did not yet have scanners, so they rang in everything by hand. What? This was 1993, not the dark ages. However, I felt very isolated in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Thankfully, I met several other first-years far from home

Starting point is 00:35:06 and our friend group formed quickly. I love that. Our dorms were segregated by gender. When we first arrived at Sreshman, we were all told all kinds of silly stories. Like, when the water retention pond on campus was full of water, it also was full of leeches. And that the library had a ghost on the second floor that looked out the window. They also said that the girl's dorm was built on, you guessed it, Native American burial ground. Ooh, it says, Q creepy, ooh sounds. I rolled my eyes back so far that I peaked at my brain. Don't

Starting point is 00:35:39 get me wrong, I am what some people would call sensitive and have always seen shadows, ghosts, etc. I'm 100% in empath and other people's energy greatly affects me. But I can also be skeptical when I feel my chain is being yanked. I feel that. That all changed when my roommate and I started noticing some weird energy. We were told that in one of the upstairs rooms, a former student had a miscarriage and you could hear the baby crying. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:36:06 I never did, but my roommate swore she had. The one thing we did agree on is that someone was in our room. We both felt it was a little boy, though I have no idea what made us feel that way. He was never mean or scary, just a pain in the ass. I usually took my showers. Well, my roommate was a cross-campus in class. We had a communal bathroom down. Well, my roommate was across campus in class. We had a communal bathroom down the hall, so it was a daily field trip. I would come back into my room and my lotion that I had on my desk would be gone. I would find it in the

Starting point is 00:36:33 back of my closet or somewhere equally obscure. Could my roommate have snuck back in to be a dick? Maybe. But other things could not be so easily poo-pooed. I bought my friend who lived across the hall, a cool, I mean, search. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Yes, right. Should I know what that is? I know I'm gonna be very upset with myself. Well, like 90s, so you're just gonna say.

Starting point is 00:36:56 Queen of the 90s. Queen. There's so many people screaming at me right now. In sprike. Oh, it's heavy metal. Whoa! I haven't heard the, oh, okay, thank you for introducing me to new music.

Starting point is 00:37:10 That is old. We love it. So Bobette CD for Christmas, she bought it. I'm gonna listen to it by the way. She brought it into my room to play on my boom box. So your boom box. Oh my goodness. We clicked the play button to let it play through.

Starting point is 00:37:24 It played everything except Silent Lucidity, Track 8, and anybody listening, Track 11. There are two ballads on that album, but have a bit of a creepy vibe. Oh, I'm very excited to listen to this. So the little one didn't like them. Yeah, I would click through the tracks to Silent Lucidity, click play,

Starting point is 00:37:40 and it would skip to the next song. This happened several times. I got frustrated and yelled, can we please hear silent lucidity? It immediately stopped playing track nine and track eight being playing from the beginning. So they played it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:53 We all just stared at the boom box with our mouths open. You just had to ask politely. And a little bit. It was a little bit like angrily. Give a little bit of a, you know. The most concrete way our little boy boo would interact with us was through incense smoke. We used to burn sticks of incense in our dorm room and would love to watch the smoke stream,

Starting point is 00:38:12 the smoke stream, dance and curl as it made its way into the room. I love doing that. My roommate and I would sit on our beds talking and the smoke would move towards us, one of us, at a faster pace than seem natural. If it came over to me, I would say hello, and then ask it to go say hi to my roommate. Immediately, the smoke would change direction and travel over to her.

Starting point is 00:38:32 That's really cool. Then she would ask it to visit me again, and it would come back towards me. I just wanna know how high you guys were, though. I also wanna know that. Once a friend came into our room, the window was open and the breeze was flowing in. As soon as the smoke saw her, quote-unquote, it started quickly moving in the opposite direction

Starting point is 00:38:50 and against the flow of the breeze. We said, it's okay, she's nice, and it turned around and settled in between us. Almost 30 years later, I hope that our little third roommate is still doing well. No, I love that. My second story is not supernatural, just super gross. Oi. Picture it. Washington Crossing State Park 1992. A little bit different from Sicily, but you know, for those who are a little bit. For those who are not familiar, this park is exactly what its name suggests.

Starting point is 00:39:15 It is where George Washington and his men cross the Delaware River from Pennsylvania to New Jersey on December 25th, 1776, to attack the unsuspecting heazians and to entrant. It's the park where it happened. The park where it happened. The park covers over 500 acres in both Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Many people travel here every year to watch reenactments of the crossing,

Starting point is 00:39:39 go camping or enjoy one of the nature or historic events they host. My friend Polka, Tracy, and I went there to smoke marble boroughs and try to pick up guys. I come. Same thing. We had all piloted into my car and headed to the park one beautiful spring day. Teenage hormones raging.

Starting point is 00:39:56 I put the car in park and immediately removed my glasses and stashed them in the glove box. Bla-la-la. Bounce. I'm tired. I haven't fully committed to contact lenses yet. My glasses were roughly the size of Elton Jones. Not the look I was going for. I figured if I would got close enough to talk to someone, I would be able to see what they actually look like.

Starting point is 00:40:16 I never understand people who can do that. Really? Something about taking my glasses, I can't see with my glasses at all. And a lot of people are like, no, me either. But I'll take them off and just walk around. And I'm like, it feels like it would be a very vulnerable this day to being.

Starting point is 00:40:30 And it just feels weirdly claustrophobic at the same time. I feel that, you know what I mean? Because you can't see further than your own face. Vision, like it's literally like, you're stuck in my head. Yeah, yeah, that would be weird. People used to do that in school all the time.

Starting point is 00:40:41 They'd be like, I don't want to wear my right glasses. Like why do you wear your glasses? Like, so I can see. And to look hot, because glasses are weird set. I never looked hot in mine. You look great in glasses. I do now, but I do. I do now, but not hot pants.

Starting point is 00:40:55 You're like, oh, yeah, I do. But I did it. I've gotten good at accepting compliments, okay? I love that. I'm nearing my 30s. 20, 23. I told you. There you compliments. I love that. I'm nearing my 30s. 2023. I told you. There you go.

Starting point is 00:41:06 I told you. So Polka and Tracy followed suit with their glasses and we headed into the park, laughing and meandering down the trails. We spent some time sitting on the picnic tables, talking and chain smoking, swinging on the swings in the playground, and just doing the kinds of things teenagers did to pass the time in the age

Starting point is 00:41:21 before cell phones and the internet. It was time to leave so we all started walking back to the parking lot. As we got closer to my car, a sedan came rolling up, crunching the gravel that covered the lot as it approached. The sedan stopped and the driver held up a sign. Polka, Tracy, and I are nothing if not helpful and near-sighted. So none of us could read the sign from where we were. We approached the car and saw a man with slick back here. What? The grease so thick it was dripping onto his shoulders. That's so heinous.

Starting point is 00:41:53 I have to go. He had a 70s porn star mustache and appeared to be wearing a trench coat. Oh, no. Odd for how nice it was outside. Oh, no. He was one of those people that you could imagine the way he's they smelled very ungood.

Starting point is 00:42:07 Oh, very ungood. The sign said, would you like to see my penises? Penises. Yes. P-E-N-U-S-E-S. Penises. Not only could he not spell, but he thought he was the master of multiple manhood

Starting point is 00:42:22 apparently. What? It was then he thrust his hips up and waved his limp shrimp at us. Oh my God. I'm fine. Why? Why are men? Why are men? That's really foul. I hate that you had to do like you were teenagers.

Starting point is 00:42:35 I would have fucking inserted my fist into that fucking car. But you know what? No, I wouldn't have. Of course. Yeah. I'm just like, now I'm so angry for you. The most fucking terrifying thing. Like that would be such a fucking violation Yeah, of course it was in your head You would want to take out some gardening sheers and just snip right off but The three of us screamed and ran back into the park. Okay. It was a mix of screaming and laughing

Starting point is 00:43:01 But we all agreed we had to alert the park rangers. There were kids in the park after all. We found a ranger and Polka heardly told him, there was a guy parking lot, Tracy interrupted her. He pulled up his car and he held out a sign and it said, they both turned and looked at me. Great. I did my best to keep a straight face and said, well sir, it said, would you like to see my penises?

Starting point is 00:43:21 Who knows to the park ranger? For stifling the laugh that started to force its way out. He wrote our descriptions down along with all of our information, but the flash around four wheels was long gone. I never heard of anyone else being subjected to his nasty bits and poor spelling, so hopefully he retired Mr. Happy into his pants. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:40 Also, if I found out that any of my children were walking up to strangers' cars, they would never be going to the park ever again. The 90s were a different time, I suppose. If you got this far, thank you so much for sharing my stories. I'm including some pictures of my fur babies already for Halloween.

Starting point is 00:43:55 Are yellow lab lexies the chef? Are guinea pig stanton omadette? Shut the fuck up. Your guinea pig's name is Stanton Amadeus Fluffanada. That's pretty iconic. It's the lobster and our chocolate lab muffee is chocolate moose dessert. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:44:12 Stanton Amadeus Fluffernutter. Fluffernutter. Thank you for being awesome and please never stop doing what you do. Oh, and Alaina, since you're a fan of Anthony Head, check out the movie. Oh, you think I have it you're a fan of Anthony head, check out the movie. Oh, you think I have. This is one of Alaina's favorite movies. We've felt a genetic opera. If you've never seen it, he's one of the main characters. I love you.

Starting point is 00:44:33 Anthony Stewart head. And I love that you suggested that we are one. Yeah. We are ones in the keep of weird, but not so weird. Ash help. Not so weird that you flash your penuses. Several of them. The penuses. Girl, we are on the same wave like you and I. And also, we are definitely covering repo the genetic opera on screen, even though Caleb said we are not doing that. What is it about?

Starting point is 00:44:57 He doesn't like it. And also, I think he covered it on Horace Super recently. So I won't make him do it recently. What's the movie about? It's real hard to explain. It's awesome. Okay. It's like, we usually have similar tastes. I'm trying to think of like an easy way to describe.

Starting point is 00:45:11 I don't even want to describe it because I need you to go in with just full, just only in a company. Ready to take it all in. Only know that Mr. Giles is. Mr. Gideon. Okay. Oh, there's such good songs on that too.

Starting point is 00:45:24 Now that I'm just thinking of the one. You know what? I will not. But Sydney, you're fucking awesome. I really want to know what your book is. So email us and or I'll even just hopefully do I have your whole name because if I do, I'll look it up. But email us and let us know how the book is going. What like what part of the process you're in and what the name of it is, because I wanna buy it. I wanna buy your book.

Starting point is 00:45:48 And just put the, like, put the subject, like, hi. Sydney's book. I'm Sydney and here's my book. Okay. Also, that was fucked up, the back I did that. I was trying to think of a screen thing to see you. But I like your little boy, Sydney, but then it didn't come to me in the time.

Starting point is 00:46:03 Sydney. That's what you got. I thought I had a whole line. You literally went in. But it ended. Sydney. I'm not going to do it from any movie with a girl named Sydney. I thought I had a whole line to say, but you didn't.

Starting point is 00:46:23 It just stopped. You probably do something like that. It's just not. I 100% have one in there, but I am stopped. You probably do suck in there. It's just not. I 100% have one in there, but I am so tired that I could get out with Cindy. All we had to say was, hello, Cindy. Hello, Cindy. Every time I say, Sydney, it sounds like I'm saying Cindy.

Starting point is 00:46:38 And I bet you find that annoying, because I would. Every time somebody says, no, the listener's saying, OK. See, I just did it. Every time anybody, and especially in school, it used to drive me fucking nuts. When teachers would say, actually, I always thought they were saying, Ashley,

Starting point is 00:46:52 and I was like, don't call me by my government name. Don't do it. Anyways, next listener tale. I moved into an old abandoned sorority house for a year and spooky shit happened. Oh shit. Hi, Ash and Elena. Oh, but if I did the whole thing like that, that would be bad. No. Attached is a double space, but a full listener tale. I to it. I hope you like the story enough to share it on the podcast. I do. And hey, if not, then I hope you

Starting point is 00:47:30 at least get a good laugh. I still did. We're gonna do all that. Because again, who moves into an abandoned sorority house where crimes were previously committed? Moved you? Moved you? PS, I also included pictures at the end.

Starting point is 00:47:41 I like to read stories and then actually know what the places look like, because I'm nosy. Fucking. Sincerely, I don't know if I can say your know what the places look like, because I'm nozy. Fucking. Sincerely, I don't know if I can say your name yet. Okay. Oh, I can. It's clock. Oh, cool. Oh, that's a cool name. Yeah. Ah, la la hi, Alina Nash.

Starting point is 00:47:54 You can use my name. My name is Clark and I'm a 26 year old tourist, including this for Ash, because I feel like you need to know my sign if we're gonna be friends. Hell yeah. I love a good tourist. My cat Franklin is a tourist. And Lynn's is a tourist. One of my first best friends, Allison, was also a tourist. Yeah, they're good tourist. My cat Franklin is a tourist. And Lynn's is a tourist.

Starting point is 00:48:05 One of my first best friends, Allison, was also a tourist. Yeah, they're good people. Boom. They're also just like funny. I love a good tourist. They're like weird, but like in like a fun way. Yeah, you know, we love weird people. Oh, one of my brother-in-law is a tourist too.

Starting point is 00:48:16 I like tourists. There you go. All right, look at that. Clark were friends. I live and work in Baltimore City as a criminal defense attorney. I have so many stories to share because like work is, yeah, because like work is wild and so is Baltimore. Adnan Saeen, the gun traced task force, Jonathan Lutha, the Belvedere Hotel, Jonathan Luna. I'm so sorry. Never a dull moment around here. That being said, I'll probably keep writing to you.

Starting point is 00:48:40 And quite frankly, I really doubt you're going to come across another girl named Clark. So, hey, maybe you'll remember me when I write in again. Oh yeah. Um, I'm always going to remember you because now we're tourist best friends and always write in. Oh my! My listener tale takes place in good old Bloomington, Illinois. I did that on purpose.

Starting point is 00:48:58 I was going to say that was terrible. I did it on purpose. I'm upset about it. I'm frustrated. I went to undergrad and the corn fields of Illinois and what do people do when they're coldest fuck and surrounded by corn? They drink. I have to paint the picture of my college or the story just won't be as good. I went to a small university like 2000-ish students, but the school feels big. The campus is spread out and to walk from the farthest point of campus to the other side, it would probably be a good 20-minute walk.

Starting point is 00:49:27 Imagine a 20-minute walk in sub-zero, windy-ass weather. Why did I voluntarily go to Illinois? The jury's still out on that one. Anyway, my freshman year, I joined a sorority, and I lived in a house with 50. Oh, yes, 50 other girls for both myself more and junior year. Damn. You don't know fun until you stumble home drunk as a skunk from a bar, play the piano in the foyer

Starting point is 00:49:50 of the house and disturb your house mom who is low key obsessed with bird watching and has combos with you about how she wants to put little trackers on bird. She finds so that she can see anywhere they go. Anyway, that's a variety house was very much lively. No ghosts there, but after leaving that sorority house, I moved into a different sorority house, wild, right? way. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is.

Starting point is 00:50:06 That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is.

Starting point is 00:50:14 That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is.

Starting point is 00:50:22 That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's where it is. That's to an old sorority house that had been abandoned since the 80s because of a break-in and multiple sexual assault occurring there. No, but you could imagine what my parents were like, no, fuck, I can't talk. Yeah, you could imagine my parents were like, what in the absolute hell is wrong with our child? Well, this old abandoned sorority house has a name,

Starting point is 00:50:40 K-O-Pi. Thank you for the pronunciation. I feel like I better put some respect on this house and use its real name or some weird scary haunting is going to somehow find its way for Mill and Noid and Merrill and it got me. And truly, I'm just too tired to deal with something like that right now. I get that. Me too. So here's the background of K.O.P.I. Lovingly named Copey, I think.

Starting point is 00:51:02 Yeah, sure. The house was originally a mansion overlooked by a local doctah. After he passed away, it was purchased by the university and later the alpha oma cron oma cron pie a pie sorority. Thank you. In October of 1978 an armed ex-boyfriend of one of the members of the sorority broken through one of the basement windows of the house and raped at least one girl and assaulted five others. Oh shit.

Starting point is 00:51:29 The rape and assault ultimately led to the closure of the sorority a few years later due to lack of membership. That's so intense. That's horrifying. Following the closure of the sorority, the house sat from the early 80s to 2016, when my future landlord will call her Lynette, decided to flip the house. Lynette's sister was one of the women living in the home during the 1978 repot assault. And for whatever reason, Lynette decided to flip it

Starting point is 00:51:54 and convert it into a rental property. Always proposing, I suppose. Yeah. Lynette technically converted AOPA, now lovingly renamed Copi, into two rental properties. This house was split into two parts, front and back were each side of the home housed four girls. Although the home was split into two, it had three points of connection, a door in the kitchen, a door in the attic, and a door in the basement. If both sides of the house unlocked their doors, it made two sides one giant

Starting point is 00:52:22 home. So eight girls total, living in an old barren's abandoned sorority house, their senior year of college. Most of whom were my sorority sisters and close friends. I mean, imagine myself and three friends, cheeriest fuck about living in a giant mansion, our senior year of college, and paying really cheap rent and having parties. So cool, right?

Starting point is 00:52:40 Yeah, hell yeah. Well, what was even cooler was on moving day, Lynette came by to share with us the history of the house. She's nice to her. Yeah, how kind? She showed us pictures of where the house sat with running water for over 30 years. I fucked that whole sentence up.

Starting point is 00:52:56 She showed us before pictures where the house sat with running water for over 30 years. It was a hot mess. The only part that Lynette did not flip was the basement. She told us the basement was completely off limits and was to remain locked at all times. I would immediately break the lock and go down there. I'd leave. I just need to take a detour to say if a landlord tells you she's permanently locking a basement in your rental property and not giving you a key, you should probably leave

Starting point is 00:53:26 and vacate that lease. But again, nope, I am 21 years old and so intrigued by this, as if it's an episode of Goosebumps and I'm going to live out some awesome haunted fantasy. I got that. So, of course, I asked her if I could see the basement before she locked it. When it happily obliged, and we all sat out on a tour, I love that you were just like, I gotta ask. Can I see that shit? Can I see that? I love that she was like, yeah, sure, you can totally see. You can just never go down here ever again. Yeah, just see it once.

Starting point is 00:53:52 Damn. Well, when Lynette says they didn't flip the basement, they literally did not touch the basement. The rooms where these girls were raped in a sultan were left untouched. Oh, it was in the basement. Wall paper with little pink flowers peeling off the walls. Metal bed frames still assembled throughout the rooms.

Starting point is 00:54:09 Oh! Seal loose wires hanging from the ceilings. Water damage in a giant bathroom lined with at least 10 sinks and showers. Talk about some weird Harry Potter moaning myrtle vibes. Oh! So yeah, no wonder Lynette decided to lock the basement and not leave us with a key.

Starting point is 00:54:24 Go to nephryme. I got my little tour. Never going down there again. Yep. Fast forward three months. We had a maintenance issue. I want to say the lights wouldn't turn on in one of the rooms. Regardless, Robert Lynette's husband took care of all the maintenance for the house. So we asked him to come over. Robert bought his keys because he brought his keys, excuse me, because he had to go into the basement to get to the breaker and see if something had tripped.

Starting point is 00:54:46 That would have been so inconvenient anytime you would. Yeah. Like blue fuse or something. You have to call someone to go down there. You couldn't go down there and trip the breaker yourself. I mean, I lowkey kind of do that anyway, because I called ruin. I'm like, hey, can you do that? Because it scares me.

Starting point is 00:54:59 So convenient for you. Good. But not if Robert didn't live there. Yeah. Because that's not convenient. Robert, noticeably annoyed, comes up from the basement and says he would have to come back the next day. A few hours later, we get an angry text from Lynette accusing myself and my roommates of going into the basement and

Starting point is 00:55:15 cutting an electrical wire. Why the fuck would they do that? You. She explained that when Robert went into the basement to investigate the outage, he saw that there was a wire with a clean cut as it was sliced with a pair of scissors. Let me tell you, I'm no engineer or handyman. I don't know what an electrical wire looks like nor was I bringing scissors into the basement or going into the locked basement in the first place without a key. The wire was sliced on the front on the front half of the house and the girls on back side of the house had had a party the night before the power outage. So because we're all friends, and essentially all roommates because of the connecting doors, we texted the girls living on the back side of the house.

Starting point is 00:55:54 They swore up and down that the door to the basement on their side of the house was locked, always has been locked, always will be locked. Damn. So at that point, my roommates and I wrote the situation off as an animal chewing through the wire because it was just not possible that it was a human that cut a wire in the basement. What the fuck? I feel like it was. I think it was. I'm like really scared. That's weird. Innocent number one. No, that's weird. That's weird. I think I also said innocent. Innocent. That's weird. Innocent number one. Okay, what the fuck is going on?

Starting point is 00:56:27 What's going on? That's weird. What's going on? That's my brain. Incident number one. Number two about a month later, we returned from class and found that my roommate and I, who shared a bathroom, had our shower curtain rod ripped from the wall and it was lying on the ground.

Starting point is 00:56:42 You may be thinking, well, that's not crazy. Sometimes those little tension rod shower curtains fall. Oh no, no. This rod was bracketed and screwed into the wall. Oh, there was no way it could just fall. It would have needed to have been pulled hard. Now we're all kind of freaking out, piecing together the previous months event

Starting point is 00:57:03 of the snipped wire and now the shower rod. My roommates and I are checking all three connecting doors to the two sides of the house, all three of which were locked and had not been tampered with. Because like I said, we were all in a class across campus. But of course, being our 21-year-old carefree selves, we moved along and probably went out to a bar that same night and got wasted off a $5 long Island iced tea pitcher. Damn. Wow, take that out of there.

Starting point is 00:57:28 I just smelled that bar with the pictures of long-hours. You smelled it. Yeah, I did. Okay, now hang on to your butts for this ghostly event number three. At this point in time, it is the dead in the middle of a Chicago suburb winter. It's cold as hell. The wind is absolutely insane. And people really aren't leaving their houses unless they have to. How ideal. After Christmas break, we quite

Starting point is 00:57:51 frankly did not want to judge through the tundra to the bars. So we were having a lot of parties at the house. Most of our parties took place in the attic with both sides, in both sides, while down lock and open the connecting doors. The attics were really big, very high ceilings, nice hardwood floor, perfect spot for a party. It feels so weird for an addict to have like nice, softwood floors. After a long weekend of parting in the attic, hosting upwards to 50 to 100 people, we locked the connecting doors, cleaned up the sticky hardwood floors and called it a wrap. Other than parties, the only other real reason to go upstairs into the attic was if somebody wanted to smoke.

Starting point is 00:58:26 Really, we had one roommate who utilized the attic as a little smoke-sash area. So during the school week, none of us were going up there but her. Monday morning rolls around, and myself and my roommates that live in the front half of the house wake up ice cold. Like I said, this house was a very old mansion.

Starting point is 00:58:44 It had those metal heaters that rattle and make noise because they have to work so hard to eat the house. But truly, there was never a time before where we felt cold like this. Everyone knows how miserable it is to wake up in the morning, and you can't even get out of bed because your teeth are just involuntarily chattering. We all exit our room, our bedrooms to figure out why the heat isn't working. And after inspecting the thermostat, it was a nice toasty 75 degrees, and we can feel heat coming off of the radiators. Huh.

Starting point is 00:59:12 What? Now listen, the door leading up to the attic, not the same door that connects the two sides of the house, is on the same level as our bedrooms, and it's a creaky old 1800s door. No glitz or glam to it. Lynette didn't redo this aspect of the house, and oftentimes this door would creak open from time to time. Well, the attic door creaks open, and or creaks open, and immediately we feel that the ice cold we are experiencing is even more severe in the entryway to the attic. We walk up the stairs to the attic and every single window is wide open. No.

Starting point is 00:59:48 Rank windows. Not windows and modern houses that you push down from the top and lock in your good. These are windows that have a metal crank that you have to sit there for a good 10 seconds to crank open. Who the fuck is doing that? A ghost. I'm pretty sure the four of us looked at each other said absolutely nothing. Shit our pants and ran back down the stairs as fast as our freezing cold feet allowed us to move. Who the hell opened the attic windows and why? That's what I'm saying. Me too. We were just up there the evening before because we were cleaning from the party and now 24 hours later, the windows that we specifically locked because again,

Starting point is 01:00:24 it's zero degrees outside, are wide the fuck open. Our pot had roommate, a short as she had not gone up there. The girls on the other side of the house had nopped up there, and the door to our side of the house was locked. What? What did we do next? Well, we did what all girls do. We talked about it for a week, totally freaking out,

Starting point is 01:00:41 and telling everybody that crossed our paths, what happened, and how terrifying it was. But after the week that we lived in Kopey and Harmony, and, uh, but after that week, we lived in Kopey or Kopei, I think, in Harmony until graduation that may, with no more events or encounters from the supernatural. I love that they just were like, well, well, that's that. That's the that on that. You cannot convince me otherwise that someone wasn't living in the basement

Starting point is 01:01:05 or snuck up while we were sleeping and fucked with us on multiple occasions. Or maybe more reasonable that there was a ghost totally messing with us. I love that that's more reasonable. The paranormal side is more reasonable. That's more reasonable to me because like why would a random person just fuck with you

Starting point is 01:01:18 and not like kill you or something? Have you ever heard of the people that just like live in people's houses and their addicts, steal their food? Can you not? I'm just saying. Don't do that. It happens all the time.

Starting point is 01:01:28 I know. Sometimes I think I hear things in the attic and then I make Drew grow up there and there's nothing there. There's no one living there. No, not all the time. I have the utmost respect for the girls that were living in the house in the 1978 when the rape and assault occurred. And I really don't think any of their ghosts would come back to scare a bunch of little college seniors trying to have a good time and a newly rented mansion. But I do think that the nasty ass monster of a rapist

Starting point is 01:01:51 that came into their house and gave off major Ted Bundy vibes mind you. And the exact same year that Bundy committed his sorority massacre was the monster of a ghost taunting our house. Think of that. Probably. So that is my listener tale. Holy shit. I hope you all enjoyed. Really living in this house. Think of that. Probably. Yeah. So that is my listener tale. Holy shit.

Starting point is 01:02:05 I hope you all enjoyed. Really living in this house was one of the most fun experiences I've ever had in my life. So big shout out to Lynette and Rob in Robert for renting to us. But like, also fuck you for thinking that I skipped a wire, pulled a shower curtain, brought out of the wall and did some spooky weirdo ship. I leave in all the windows of an attic open in the middle of February, attaching a few pictures of the house for good measure. Oh, it is gorgeous.

Starting point is 01:02:25 Wow, that's really pretty. Wow. It looks like spooky though. It does. It's got spooky vibes. It doesn't have enough windows on the other side. I think that's what freaks me out about it. Ooh, that was a creepy one.

Starting point is 01:02:38 And I feel so bad. What a terrible vibe to having that house. I'm surprised it had any good vibes because what a terrible crime that won, especially just like everything in the basement still as it was. Yeah. Just left away.

Starting point is 01:02:51 Like that really adds to the grief factor. Exactly. That's the thing that it's just like locked in time, just frozen there. Ooh, I got chili willy same. Well, let's end on one that I don't know if it's on a good note or not,

Starting point is 01:03:05 but it's called muffins from hell. I love muffins. So let's go. So to me, that seems great. Hey, Ash and Alaina. I'm sending you lots of love and positivity. Oh, thank you. It's really nice. You too. My name is Halley. Like the actress Halley Barry or like Halley from the parent trap of whom I was named. I love that. Or you can call me Hal Capone. That's one of my nicknames that I gave to myself and tell people to use it, but it hasn't caught on yet. All right, Hal Capone. Hal Capone it is.

Starting point is 01:03:32 Anyway, I have a pretty short tail, but I think it's worth telling. I give permission to use my name, et cetera. First of all, the obligatory, I fucking love you guys so much. Thanks for being my true crime besties. You guys helped me get through COVID lockdown when I first found your podcast.

Starting point is 01:03:47 I love the way you two chat and share parts of your lives with us. Truly makes me feel like I'm physically there with you guys. I truly appreciate you guys starting this podcast and all the hard work you put into it. I appreciate you. I appreciate the shit out of you. Damn hell, Capone.

Starting point is 01:03:59 Okay, so I'm from Chicago and grew up here. I was born in China and adopted at the age of three, though. My parents are from the Chicago area, too. Oh, I did want to say I'm from Chicago and grew up here. I was born in China and adopted at the age of three though. My parents are from the Chicago area too. Oh, I did want to say I'm moving to Boston in December to start graduate school at BC. So I'll be closer to you guys. Yay. Hey, for you, man.

Starting point is 01:04:14 Congratulations. I will be getting, and I hope you're liking Boston. I know same. I will be getting my masters and social work. Wow. I'm so excited. Also, one quick side note on my mom, who the listener tale is about when I eventually get there. Sorry. Anyhow, because I know how much

Starting point is 01:04:29 Ash likes real housewives. My mom had a Saul travel on vacation to LA to visit family, but I think more than anything to attend the official gay brunch at Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant pump. I'm obsessed. She got a picture with her dog. I love that you told me that. Also got a pick of Lisa when she was about to sit down for her own lunch And she doesn't look too happy although she does look fabulous as always in the pitch But my mom was I will attach the pics to the email. Oh my god I love knowing that and I especially love knowing that the day after the Vanderpump rules trailer trailer came out It looks like it's gonna be great. He's in

Starting point is 01:05:02 Ten two men who go Jillian season two many, but I'm here. We're wild. I'm here because I'm going down with the ship. Oh, absolutely. If we go down, then we go down to get there. That's right. Finally, I will tell the story. Tee hee.

Starting point is 01:05:17 Okay. So one day my mom, she went to Northwestern University, which is a school in Evanston, Illinois, came back to her on-campus apartment and found a basket of muffins in the hallway to her front door. That's never good. She went up to the basket and there were for anyone who wanted one. There they were for anyone who wanted one. She said they smelled really good and looked homemade. Wait, wait. She decided she was going to put all her stuff back in the apartment before she went back to grab one, but she had a lot of stuff, I guess. Thankfully I got it.

Starting point is 01:05:46 Anyway, she gets distracted easily, and thank goodness for that because she forgot about the muffins and didn't end up getting one. That's good. I don't know how, after seeing them, that would be my priority for the rest of the day. Same. Anyway, thank goodness she did forget about them because a few days later, she and the rest of the apartment complex later found out that the muffins were left there by a murderer. Laurie Dan.

Starting point is 01:06:07 She made them with a bunch of cyanide. Luckily no one took any so no one died. I was going to say, never take food that is just out. No. In the middle of your hallway. No. Which I personally don't understand because my fat house would have left the left one muffin and taken the basket.

Starting point is 01:06:26 The detectives and the autopsy person would have taken one look inside my dead body and been like, well, we probably could have saved her if she ate one, but this bitch ate five muffins. You guys should look up Laurie Dan, an interesting character. She grew up in Illinois and went to Newtryer High School, which I know a ton of people who went there, and fun fact, it's the school that Mean Girls is based off of. She's a Faye-Based at Off of Newtriar. The school is known to be for rich people in the suburbs of Chicago.

Starting point is 01:06:54 Anyway, back to the not-so-cool part. She, Laurie, was a babysitter, and she killed a young boy in elementary school in Chicago and injured six others. Oh my gosh. Part-breaking. Afterwards, she killed herself. So that is my story, and I hope you found it interesting. elementary school in Chicago and injured six others. Oh my gosh. Heart breaking. Afterwards, she killed herself. So that is my story and I hope you found it interesting.

Starting point is 01:07:09 I'm sorry I do not know how to say to say into the conclusion and the goodbye. It seems a little odd to go from and then she killed herself to thanks for reading. But that's how it goes. It's pretty short, but I think it's one to share. I'm so sorry if my writing didn't make any sense. And if you're confused, I am too.

Starting point is 01:07:25 My apologies. No, that made perfect sense. No, the fact that there was just like, a basket of muffins left by an actual murderer. Right. And your mom was like, I'm gonna grab one of those and then got distracted. Thank goodness for ADD.

Starting point is 01:07:39 That's, yeah, that's a lifesaver. Again, I love you guys so much, and I look forward to listening to your episode every time you upload. You two are really good storytellers, and need list of mention, hilarious. Thank you. So are you.

Starting point is 01:07:50 So thank you for all your laughs and the morbid stories. ExoXo, hell, Capone. Below our picks of my mom with Lisa's dog, I don't remember the dog's name, please Lord, Lord Almighty, forgive me for my blasphemy. It's cheeky. It's cheeky. I was hoping it was.

Starting point is 01:08:04 And the dog's bot botler question mark. And then the pick of Lisa herself. And look who's in the background of the pick of Lisa. Oh my god. Do you see? Hold on, I'm looking. It's Max. Oh my god, it's Max.

Starting point is 01:08:17 Holy shit. The whole famed amela. Lisa van the pump. Lisa. I love it. The dog and the dogs botler question mark. Your mom is adorable. I just want to say, you know, I was going to interrupt you when you said it our time and say it. I was

Starting point is 01:08:37 going to say to say goodbye, but you didn't, but I did not let you finish. Thanks. Wow, guys. We had a mix of ghosties. You had a lot of Illinois. We had some Chicago, we had some Moana, we had some scaryness, we had some everything. And before anybody says anything, I know that Chicago and Illinois are like in the same place. But like, we had them. Illinois is a whole and then also Chicago.

Starting point is 01:09:02 I just wanted to see that to get ahead of these. You know what, that's a very good, yeah. Thank you for covering that. Don't worry, I know. like we had them. Illinois as a whole and then also Chicago. I just wanted to see that to get ahead of the you know what that's a very good. Yeah, thank you for for covering that. Don't worry, I know. She don't worry, I know. I know all about the Illinois. You know what, ask Cal Capone over there.

Starting point is 01:09:13 She knows. Yeah. She knows how Capone, baby. Guys, I love all of you. You know, you're the best. These are so fucking funny and also terrifying and also adorable sometimes. Yeah, I love all of them and you with my whole entire heart. And I love standing on the Amadeus Fluffinutter. So much. So there's that. So much. I think I might go get one.

Starting point is 01:09:34 Yeah, there you go. The cats would not take that one. That would not be going down. I would never. If you're fast, that would think would be hunted in three seconds flat. And with that being said, we hope that you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird. But it's so weird that you get a durable for your cats to hunt. Oh my god, don't ever keep it that weird. What do you do? I do what I say. I don't do it.

Starting point is 01:09:55 I believe you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Prime Members! You can listen to morbid, early, and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple podcasts.

Starting point is 01:10:20 Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wundery.com slash survey.

Morbid - Episode 426: Listener Tales 67

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