Morbid - Episode 58: Kurt Cobain Part 1

Episode Date: April 12, 2019

Ash is back, guys! Rejoice with us and also get super bummed out because it has been 25 years since the world lost a certain musical icon. In this two-parter, we will begin by diving into the legendary Kurt Cobain's childhood, rise to fame with Nirvana , meeting and spawning with Courtney Love and his tragic downfall. Stay tuned for Part 2 where we theorize what actually happened to Kurt and talk more about Courtney Love, the crime scene and the physics behind that supposedly self inflicted shotgun blast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's W-O-N-D-E-R-Y-P-O-D. Audible.com slash wandery pod or text wandery pod to 500-500 to try audible for free for 30 days. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your home projects done well. Just bring them your project online, or with the Angie app, and answer a few questions. With Angie, you can book instantly at an upfront price, or request and compare quotes from multiple pros, so you can find the best price for your project.

So the next time you have a home project, just Angie that and start getting the most out of your home. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's ANGi.com. Hi, where are you? I'm Alish. I have a Lena. This is Marva. Hey guys, Ashley's back.

From the dead. I'm just getting identify, just kidding. And back. And we're. I'm just getting identify. Just kidding. And back. And we're recording this for the second time. So hang in. Great. So really quickly, our bid nas.

I'm really sorry I neglected you and that you just had to deal with Elena last time. I know and Ashes back now. So everybody. Kim, rejoice. Rejoice, bitches. And thank you so much for being so nice about my solo episode It was awesome. I know you're welcome Thank you so much guys you were awesome and maybe I will throw one of those in every now and then like a

Weird deep dive into some forensic science subjects because people seem to dig it. So if you want it, let me know also really quickly we got a super good idea from one of our Patronis' James Tarot, and he was like, why don't you guys just say people's names at the end of the podcast to make it a little bit easier, that way you can dive right into your episode, and then any Patronis who wants to hear their shout out can just stay tuned toward the end. Yeah and that way we can get more names done at a time instead of having to limit to only like three to five in episode because we have a lot to get through and we want to make sure you all get your names heard. So you know what, James? Thanks! Thanks James! That's brilliant and we

should have thought of it ourselves. Shout out to you. So that's what we're gonna start doing today We are going to say a few of you beautiful Protonuses at the end of this episode. So stay tuned if you want to hear your name and also it's just gonna be a smidge And different too on top of just saying it at the end We're also just gonna leave out the category that you're in like weirdos Evil onion all that stuff. Yeah, you know what category you're in, and if we leave it out, we can say more names.

Exactly. And we want a Yonang. Yeah. And some of you might hear your name twice, because we're unorganized, so we're giving a shot. So, do you know what we're doing this week? Guys, do you? What are we doing? B-b-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-na-a-a-na-a-na-a and then you, banning, and then you, you all got that right?

Right? If you didn't get that, I'm sorry. Yeah. We're doing Kurt Cobain. Kurt Cobain! So if anybody out there doesn't know Kurt Cobain, which I'm sure there's like a small majority of you, some youngins that I'm sure are like, who's Kurt Cobain? What's a Cobain?

No. No. Well, Kurt Cobain was a fucking awesome musician and the frontman of the band Nirvana. He was. You should listen to Nirvana if you have not. I can't even imagine somebody not ever listening to Nirvana. Do it. I'm shaming you.

I'm not. But fucking listen to them. So, Kirk was born in Aberdeen, Washington on February 20th of 1967. His mom was a waitress named Wendy Elizabeth and his father was a car mechanic named Donald's Lealand Kerbein. Or excuse me, Kobe. Kerbein. Kerbein. Thank you Wendy and Donald. Yeah, for real. Appreciate it. Thank you. So Kurtz family was super musically inclined. He had an uncle chuck that was in a band called the Beach Comers, his aunt Mary played guitar, and she was in like multiple bands. And his great uncle actually had been an Irish tenor. That's pretty cool. It

is, I mean, it's all cool, but that's not cool enough. He also was in the movie King of Jazz from the 1930s So people from his childhood remember Kurt being like really happy Easily like excitable sensitive and caring just like a pretty awesome fucking kid And it was very clear from an early age that he was going to be talented He obviously was super interested in music But he also was a really good artist, and he loved to draw. Oh yeah, I saw a couple of his drawings. Yeah, they're really cool.

Actually, in a couple documentaries, they have a bunch of his artwork, and one of his ex-girlfriends has a lot of his artwork that's really fucking cool. It's dark, but it's dark, but so really. But like in a good way. Yeah, we're all dark here. Somebody like turn on the lights. It's dark. It's so dark. So dark. Boom. I hate myself.

Um. He would draw like all kinds of, when he was younger, all kinds of characters that he loved, and he was really good at it. Fun fact, his grandmother also was actually an artist. Jesus. Same. It's just a super talented fan.

I'm for real. So unfortunately when Kurt turned nine his parents got a divorce. Oh jeez. Which you really sucks because when you're nine you kind of like you're like way more aware than you would be when you were younger. Yeah you know you don't know exactly what's going on. Right but you have enough awareness to be like this sucks. It definitely hits you a little harder than a word of fresh air. 4 or 5. Yeah. So his parents divorce affected him like immensely. And actually in a 1993 interview he said,

I remember feeling ashamed for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn't face some of my friends at school anymore because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family, mother-father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that. That's like really high level for a nine-year-old. Do you know what I mean?

Like to know like that he feels shamed for his parents and that he's like resenting them. You know what I mean? Like I think a lot of nine-year-olds would usually just be like, this sucks. But he had like these really intense thoughts about it. From like a really young young. Yeah. He was super, it seems like to me anyways. Like he seems like an old soul. Yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely. Super quickly I just want to say like a lot of this is like just like retelling of Kurt's story and you know like you never know like what's like super true and what's not. Yes.

He didn't come out and say a lot about his life. He didn't like to do interviews. Yeah. We were just talking about this before we recorded Nirvana and Kurt. They hated the press. Right. They just hated giving press interviews and talking to the press. They loved their fans. They would always give autographs. They would always talk to fans. Right. They were like assholes

But they just hated the press they hated sitting there because they didn't like this whole like They didn't ride it. Yeah, like hurt didn't want to be famous Yeah, he wanted to make a living with his music. He just didn't want to be famous So it's like a lot of the things you hear about him didn't come from his own mouth. It's like retelling. It's like conjectures and stuff about him. So that's kind of a bummer that like he didn't get to tell his full story I feel like. It would be so fucking cool to watch like a like VH1 story drawing with Kurt Cobain. With just him sitting there talking. Yeah. Because that never really happened. I hope like when I die and go to heaven I get to see that you can just sit down with him and be like just tell me

Just like I'm on VH that be cool. I'm on VH. I bet you're having this is like a really great kind of dark But I like often think I'm like when you die like because there's so many unsolved cases that I want to like I need to know the answer Yeah, and that's like the main thing I'm hoping when I like die someday, which like hopefully doesn't happen. Never, ever. That I get to find out. Oh God, I hope so. Like is not, like that's what I think of.

Yeah. I mean, if that's the goal, like I'd better find out. That's the dream. Sorry for the banter, it's back. I'm sorry to welcome. Welcome. So Kurt's dad remarried after the divorce, like a little while after.

And at first Kurt liked his stepmom Jenny and his step sisters, but then Jenny and his dad had a baby together and the baby was a boy. Uh-oh, so that's like a little bit like you know like when you're the only boy, I don't know. He probably felt like he was being replaced. But yeah, he felt replaced and he made him back off. Yeah. So he dist him back off. Yeah. So he distanced himself from the family. When he was with his mom,

he witnessed her in an abusive relationship that actually had landed her in the hospital. I just found one time, but I don't know how many times it happened. That sucks. Yeah. And just like every other kid going through shit at home, he kind of started to act out at school.

Yeah. Which made teachers call home and be like, what's going on? So basically his dad decided to take him to a therapist. That's really like progressive. I know. It really is. So the therapist thought it would be good for Kurt to live within a single family unit. And in June of 79, Kurt's mom granted his dad with full custody.

That's rare. That's rare. And I'm sure even that bothered him because he was older than nine at that point So yeah, he was like I feel like he probably felt abandoned Well, I was gonna say probably yeah felt unwanted because like when one parent No matter the reason it's like just hands you like legally right and everything to the other one It's like they're just passing you off. You know, I can definitely let you all know. It's a very weird feeling to be like part of like a legal thing. I can imagine custody and stuff like that.

Yeah, I mean, I've never gone through that, but I can imagine that. It's a weird feeling. Like it's very like not human. Yeah. Like I'm just like an object in this whole scenario. It's weird. Yeah.

And look how you turned out Jesus. I'm great so Kurt's dad wasn't really able to reel him in at all and a lot of the times He just put him in the care of like family and friends so Kurt spent a lot of time like living with Different friends and different family members and he didn't really have like one stable Yeah, a lot of instability which is exactly what he wanted was stability. And it's the exacting he wasn't getting for anybody.

So one of my favorite things about Kurt is that he just like to piss off people, like uptight and annoying people. I'm all about it. I love people like that. I was like uptight and annoying people. People who like to annoy them. So his dad, I don't know if he was like uptight or annoying, but I'm sure to

Kurt he was. He really wanted him to be a jock, but that's not at all who Kurt was. No, not at all. I would not describe him as that. Like put pressure on him to try out for different sports teams and Kurt was on like baseball teams and wrestling teams, but he would like purposely strike out just like to piss his dad off and I guess he was actually really good at wrestling but I didn't know that but in one match he like I'm sure I think his dad was there and he got pinned down like on purpose like he was like it's final least that's like dad that's like some-level trolling just look at really his high-level trolling gets really like amazing yes so his dad wasn't the only person he wanted to piss off uh people at school he

was like fuck you guys are stupid he he went against like the norm like the social norm so there was this kid in his grade who was gay and Kurt started to hang out with him like he didn't care that he was being bullied at all, he thought it was awesome. He said in like an interview later, he said, I started being really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't. And he also said, said, I'm not gay, although I wish I was just to piss off homophobes. It's amazing. And also said that he was gay and spirit and probably actually could identify as bisexual.

That makes me love him more. He was just fucking really dumb. I mean that is just like- Like you know what? That is Shiff's kiss. So the older he got the more into the like punk music scene he got. So that's where he kind of felt like super connected and he felt like he really belonged to there with those people. Because it's just like a bunch of outcasts, like together. But they were like his squad. Yeah.

Squad goals. That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was-

That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was-

That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- That was- enough credits to do so. And he dropped out. He was like, well, fuck this then. So his mom told him money dropped out that he needed to get a job or he couldn't live with her. And a week later, which isn't that long at all, he came home and all his stuff was packed up in boxes.

Yeah, like damn, it was like, dude, you can't even get an interview in a week. No, it can be a freaking hard. And after that, he lived with friends, and he actually even lived under a bridge under the, excuse me, over the WISHKA River, which inspired some of the lyrics in the song Something In The Way. Oh, it's crazy.

And actually, MTV did a documentary a while ago. I think it was a long time ago. And there's images of the bridge under it, and there's all this graffiti. there's like images of the bridge under it, and there's like all this graffiti, like of like Nervon Eliric. Oh, I can't believe you. I can't believe you.

I mean, if you're gonna get inspired living under a bridge, you'll do it. Yeah, I would say. I would like to be inspired in any other way. Absolutely. Other than. But I feel like what else can you do but be inspired by that? Yeah, you gotta do something good on that bridge. So in 1985,

Kurt formed the band, Fiekel Matter. Yes. No, not shit or poop. No, it's high brow poop. Yes. Fiekel Matter. High brow poop. He played guitar and he sang and him and his band rehearsed for months playing covers of Jimmy Hendrix, Led Zeppelin and the Ramones. They actually recorded 13 original songs which Kurt later recalled as totally abrasive. That's how I like my music. Yeah it does. And my cleaning products. 100%. Totally abrasive. Totally abrasive. A Dale Crover played the bass in that and in that band and he called their tracks amateur but Buzz Osborne who had been in the band the Melvins with Dale. Wow. Said that there was like a certain magic with a meagic. A certain meagic? I know what just happened. He just traveled to Long Island

real quick. A certain meagic, I'm the Long Island medium. Like what the fuck? A certain magic in the bands recording and he said that they were able to put something together in a really interesting way. Unfortunately the or maybe like fortunately because Nirvana happened the band eventually broke up and it didn't last very long. But Kurt was still intent on forming another band. But yeah, thank you. Thank you, Kurt.

So he showed tapes to his friends of like fecal matter music. That's my favorite sentence. He should have tapes of fecal matter too. He's like guys look at this shit. Look at this fecal matter. And one day he showed Chris Nobsllik wanting to collab on something. Chris liked the song spank through. Who doesn't love that song?

It's a great song. They started playing together and they eventually formed a band which eventually became Nirvana. Oh. Yeah. I was gonna be like the Smiths. Yes, no. Nirvana. Nirvana. Nirvana.

Kurt also, like SideNote, was really interested in different religions. And the name Nirvana was actually taken from a Buddhist concept that Kurt thought went hand in hand with the ideals of punk rock. Oh, that's cool. Kurt defined Nirvana as, quote, freedom from pain, suffering, and the external world.

Which I think that's pretty much what Nirvana is. 100% that's pretty cool. So the first few years of touring with Nirvana kind of left Kurt down and like not as excited as he had been about the entire thing when it all first started. At first wasn't drawing in big enough crowds at all. And we're faced with issues of sustaining themselves as a group because like you have to sell tickets to make money and you know blah blah blah. And money is like for everything, so.

Money is for everything. And during the first few years of Nirvana they switched drummers a couple times. Chad Channing recorded Bleach with Nirvana. Bleach is an album. But then Kurt didn't feel he was a good fit and replaced him with Dave Grohl, which I love Dave Grohl. A great fucking replacement. It's a great fit. After releasing Never Mind, that album. That was like their huge one.

Huge. That's like what got them famous. And Smells Like Teen Spirit, that song, helped them enter mainstream and put Nirvana into a new alt-rock category called Grunge. Oh, and do you know how they got the name Smells Like Teen Spirit? I do, but you can say it. Oh, you do? Yeah. No, you say, wait, okay, so I didn't write it down, but I read it. Oh, okay.

It was when he was dating Toby Vale and one of her friends through her deodorant at him, and it was Teen Spirit, and then she would yell at him like Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit. Yes, and they actually spray painted it on the wall in the house. And he didn't, I read somewhere that he didn't know what teen spirit was. Yeah, but I just thought that was so funny.

That he smells like teen spirits. Isn't that awesome? I just think that's funny. It kind of like, it makes you laugh at the song. I know, because then when you think of it, you're like, it makes it, it makes it humorous. It smells like death. I saw it, it feels dangerous. Careful. I death. It feels dangerous.

Careful. The deodorant. The Courtney will sue us. Goodbye. So Nirvana's success with Nevermind led to tons of bands coming out of the Seattle area. Actually, including Alice and Chains, Pearl Jam and Sound Garden. Oh, yeah, those are just like the Grunge era.

Butanas. Yeah. It's like John CD collection. Literally. Right there. 100%. Those are just like the grunge era bananas. Yeah, that's like John C.D. collection literally right there 100% All Rock started like totally dominating the radio and MTV. Nervana was considered like the catalyst of all that and in turn Kurt was considered like a spokesman of the generation. What? She did not want to be honest. He's just about to say he did not want that notoriety. He did not

love that. He struggled with Nervana's to say he did not want that notoriety. He did not love that. He struggled with Nirvana's success and he felt serious pressure from the media. Along with that came backlash from anti-gay and anti-choice movement members because Kurt was very openly pro-gay and for choice and pro fucking human rights. Yeah.

So he had to deal with death threats after Nirvana played out of gay rights benefit. Oh my God. And after they played out of rock for choice campaign, but he remained super proud that his band like supported these movements. Can you imagine being pro-life and then hurling a death threat at someone?

Yeah, that's a death threat. And not seeing the irony of them. Exactly. I can't understand. In late 1986 right before Nirvana was born, we're just gonna backtrack really quickly. Kurt moved into an apartment, and he traveled to Olympia all the time to seat rock concerts.

And around that time, he was dating Tracey Miranda, who was actually in a lot of documentaries that you'll watch. Oh, okay. She was like his first real girlfriend. Oh, okay. They were super close, but they had their fair share of strains in the relationship. When Nirvana, because she was there, like, pre-Nirvana and then early years of Nirvana.

Oh, okay, yeah. So for one thing, Kurt was away a lot when he was touring, but even before that, he would sleep a lot, watch TV or work on art projects while Tracy worked in a cafeteria to support them. And actually, the song about a girl, people think is about her. And she thinks it's about her too. I feel like hell yeah, that's about me.

She also, fun fact, took the photo, that is the cover photo for the album Bleach. Oh wow. Yeah. That's a cool thing to have on your ass, but it really is. And actually she's the one, I think I mentioned it before, that has like a lot of his artwork in our house.

Oh, okay. And his artwork was really fucking cool. Yeah. After breaking up with her, he started dating Toby Vale, who was a pretty influential punk musician. Is she in Bikini Kill? Yeah, so she's the one whose friend threw the two red curtains. Ah, okay, Kurt was like, ah, teen spirit. You smell like teen spirit.

And while he was with her, he wrote a lot of songs, including aneurysm. And actually, I read it somewhere that the first time he met her, he like threw up because he was like so infatuated with her. Oh my god. And part of the lyrics to aneurysm, I love you so much. It makes me sick. Oh my god. I loved that. And then like we said before, that's so endearing. Oh my god. I know. I wish somebody would write that about me. and he also wrote smells like teen spirit while with her makes sense. Yeah, that didn't work out. No This so he met Courtney Love in January of 1990 Uh a nightclub in Portland, Oregon Before that Courtney had seen Nirvana perform at a show, and after speaking briefly after the concert,

she like developed a crush on Kurt. She made advances, but Kurt wasn't sure about the relationship and would like break off dates and ignored Courtney's attempts. And I heard that he was one of those dudes that like didn't like didn't realize that girls were into him. Yeah, he was very, like, like,

he's like a rock god and girls are throwing themselves at him. He was one of those that was like totally oblivious. Like, let's be honest, he was super fucking hot. But he just didn't. But he didn't get it. He didn't know what was going on. Also, one of the first times they met, I think you found this, it was at a butthole. Yeah, butthole surface concert. That's when she actually had some dude like fly her to this concert specifically to meet him. She was wanted to meet him. And she said she was pursuing him for a while, but he was totally oblivious to it.

He was oblivious and he just wanted to be a bachelor for like a moment. I think he was really upset when him and Toby made that. That makes sense. And a lot of things that I read, he kind of thought of Toby as his woman counterpart. Like a match. Like a real match. Very similar people, which doesn't always work out. Nope.

No, I don't know. So he said, I was so determined to be a bachelor for a few months, but I knew I liked Courtney so much right away that it was a really hard struggle to stay away from her for so many months. Obviously eventually they started hanging out and they bonded, unfortunately, like through drug use as well as music and everything, but it's not a good drug to bondo. They ended up getting married in Hawaii on February 24th 1992. Courtney wore like this satin lace dress and Kurt wore green pajama pants because he

was too lazy to put on a tux. It's a good start. Yeah, you know, that's great. It's really gonna be like a great jumping off point. I think there was only like, there, there was really small like I'm gonna say like maybe 10 people were there. I think so. Something like that. Courtney was actually already pregnant when they got married. Oh. And she had Francis being co-bein in August of 92, which I'm going to get into some of that a little bit later. Yeah, I was going to say this some, there's some really interesting parts of that. Which some of you Courtney apologizers may change your tune after you hear it. I don't know. Hope so. Hope so, because it's real bad. So, Kurtz, I'm just gonna get into his drug use

for a little bit. It stemmed from a lot of things. Obviously, I talked about his parents divorce, crushing him, and he was very misunderstood, and he felt he didn't want all this fame and all that. He was overwhelmed. He was very overwhelmed. Because he was like, like you said,

he was the unofficial spokesperson of that generation for that. He didn't know what that was. And on top of all of that craziness, he also like his health was a huge issue. Yeah. He suffered from chronic bronchitis and severe physical pain because of an undiagnosed stomach condition. Yeah.

He was 13 when he first smoked weed for the first time, like everybody else. And after that, he doubled in LSD. His friends knew that he had depression and they felt like it was kind of clear that he was gonna have issues with drugs and alcohol, just due to like his attitude. And the fact that he got really into LSD.

Yeah. Although it wasn't until 1986 that he tried heroin for the first time. Well. He used it on and off into 1990 when it became a full blown addiction. He claimed, quote, it started with three days in a row of doing heroin and I don't have a stomach pain. That was such a relief. But his friends say it was a habit like even before that and that the stomach pain was

just kind of an excuse for. Yeah. I think somebody said that once he said to them, like, I'm just saying that it's, cause it's carrying the stomach pain because it's a nice excuse. Yeah. But then I also wonder if that was just him.

I feel like he, like, joked. He had a dark sense of humor. I feel like that a lot of people didn't get, well, they, like, read too much of it. They read it wrong. Like, I feel like they read a lot of what he said when he was just fucking kidding. Because I think he said at one point,

like if I didn't have heroin to help my stomach, I would like blow my head off. And people were like, oh, that points to suicide. And it's like, no, I think he just said, like how many times have you been like, if I don't get a root canal on this tooth, cause of this toothache, it's killing me, I'm going to blow my brains

It'll yeah, it's just something you say it's a fucking expression But did you read that it became like a four hundred dollar a day? Oh, yeah, it became in like say Four hundred dollars with a heroin a day, but think of how much money you fucking make as a rock star That's like far like ten dollars Ten dollars a day like that's your that's probably his Starbucks. That's like far like $10. $10 a day. That's probably his Starbucks. That's crazy to me. That just seems like a lot of heroin. I don't know how much heroin costs, but 400 dollars of anything is a lot.

I think heroin's expensive from what I've seen on intervention. Not from any fucking person. No, no, no, no way. No. Back to Courtney for a second. In a Vanity Fair article, Courtney loved admitted to using heroin while pregnant, but later said that that was untrue and that she'd been misquoted. Did everyone hear that?

I'm going to say it one more time for the people in the back. Courtney loved admitted to using heroin while pregnant. And because of that, Frances Bean was taken away from them by child protective services the moment she was born for a month. Literally. Just just so y'all know. So Courtney is not a good person. Not a good person at all. No, and it was a very lengthy legal battle to get her back. Yeah. And when they got her back, like, it was like a lot of nannies took care of her.

Exactly, yeah, she was known. Because they were both strung out, unfortunately. Yeah. Like, there's fucking videos of it. Yeah. And lots of documentaries. They both have very big drug problems, unfortunately. So fast forward a little while.

Nirvana is on tour in Germany and Kurt is diagnosed with a case of bronchitis and severe layer in gytus. The day after he was diagnosed he flew to Rome to be treated and Courtney met him there. The next day which was March 4th, Courtney woke up and found Kurt unconscious. He had overdosed on a mix of, I don't know if I'm saying this right, I hope I am, rofinal, rachypnal, rachypnal. That's a roofies. Oh, okay. Yeah. I like Google it because I was a great writer. And it also said it's a drug that treats insomnia. And it's some places they use it to, that's like kind of like anesthesia to help you under

and champagne. So he mixed roofies and champagne. But you know what's funny about that? What? So did she. She overdozed that same day. They did that together the night before. She just didn't overdose. Yeah. Well, I have my, I'm not going to get to you and end up through it now, but I don't think he knew

what he was drinking. Yeah. I think she fucking did that. He was rushed to the hospital. But after five days, he recuperated, and he was sent home. So Courtney said after Kurt's death that she considered this his first suicide attempt. Because in the press she wanted to make it look like he was suicidal. And it doesn't make sense.

I don't think that he knew what he was doing. Like I think that she put the roofies in his dream. That is definitely possible. Or at least put way more than he thought he was taking. And if that wasn't the case either way, they were both doing the same exact thing. Right. He just did too much I think. Yeah. And it doesn't make sense that that would be his suicide attempt while they were partying together. Yeah. She sucks. Well, and did you like a couple of days before that on when in Germany when they were at a one of his concerts right before they had to cancel the tour because of his bronchitis. It was on March 1st, 1994. He called his lawyer from backstage at their concert

and he wanted to draw up a will that intentionally excluded Courtney as the benefactor. Yeah. So like before the concert doesn't Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis.

Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis.

Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Right before the crisis. Oh, yeah. Which she definitely felt that. Definitely. But a lot of people thought that they, for some reason, thought she was going to surpass him.

They didn't realize what he was. But she wanted that prenup done, and he wanted to make sure that she wasn't the benefactor when he left her, and because of them. But she wasn't going to get anything because of the prenup. So Courtney had asked that same lawyer, like a little while previously, if they could void the pre-nut. So what was she planning?

Yeah, she wanted to just get the money. Right. It's like, why would you even do that? And this is actually proved because police claim that there was a will drawn up shortly before his death, but he never got the chance to sign it. Oh, that's so f**k. And they won't make it public.. And they won't make it public.

Yeah, they won't make it public. Whether or not she was excluded. So she probably knows. It's like, whoo, like they know if she, and this is pointed out by the suicide team. Non-believers. As like, he was in his 20s. Why was he writing up a will if he wasn't planning?

But he had a kid. Yeah. Once you have a kid, you get a will. And you're like, and also you're a fucking rock star. You have no like dollars. You don't know what the already had death, like had death threats on him. Exactly. And it's honest, like once you have a kid, that is like the first thing you think of is like, I need to get my shit in order

because if something unexpected happens to me, I need to take care of my kid. Yeah. Like, that should be your first thing. And not Courtney loves. And even though they were, you know, unfortunately junkies, they, I do believe they both cared about Frances.

100%, you know? Like that is their child. What Courtney did while she was pregnant is reckless, ridiculous, criminal, awful. That's the thing. She should have her taken away from her, but I believe she didn't love her child. You know what I mean?

They both. And it's like, so I know they would have, I mean, Kurt would have had a will that protected Francis. Yeah, definitely. So it makes sense to me. Oh, also, side note, I think I told you this earlier, but Drew Barrymore is Francis Bean's godmother.

That's so bonkers. Isn't that awesome? I looked up who the godfather was, I forget who godmother. That's so bonkers. It's not awesome. I looked up who the godfather was, I forget who it is. Like what a weird like- But Drew Barrymore is her godmother, which is awesome. Yeah, like I want her as a godmother. I think her Gordney just used a party together, because Drew Barrymore is-

You know it's crazy, I never knew like about Drew Barrymore's past. This is totally unrelated. But if you ever want to look into that, it's fucking wild. Anyways, back to what we're talking about. So then on March 18th, 94, Courtney called Seattle police to tell them that Kurt was locked in a room with a gun and she believed he was going to shoot himself. The police arrived and they actually confiscated

four guns total and some unidentified pills from Kurt, but he insisted that he wasn't suicidal and that he had just locked himself in there to get away from Courtney. And I guess he did like to have guns to protect himself because he did bodyguards. Right. So it was like pretty well known that he like had like a pretty solid gun collection. Yeah. I enjoyed them. So after that incident, Courtney arranged an intervention for Kurt. There were 10 people there,

and eventually they convinced Kurt to go to a detox program. Sasha rehab. It took a little while because he was pissed off. It actually took two days, but he eventually agreed. And a few days later, he went to Exodus Recovery Center,

which is an LA. Just a quick side note. And the few days between the intervention and the time that he got to the treatment center is when he obtained a shotgun. He told his friend Dylan Carlson who was at the intervention that he needed to get a gun because he had been struggling with the trespassers on his property. And all his got taken away. And all his got taken away exactly. Krausin didn't really think, like, he didn't think it was weird or out of the ordinary

because like we just said, like he knew that Kurt had guns. Yeah. And he had loaned him guns before. The only thing that seemed weird to him was that when he offered to hold on to the gun until Kurt got back from treatment, Kurt insisted on keeping it keeping it himself So Carlson might have got him the gun and ammunition and gave it to him So then he ends up in the Exodus rehab center people that visited him while he was there Said that he seemed to be doing really well and he didn't seem suicidal at all

He was pretty open with the counselors about his struggles with drugs and his personal issues, but he only spent two days there. Yeah. I was like, what are you gonna get out of it there? Right, exactly. And actually, one of those days Francis being visited him. Oh, yeah. And they were like playing in, unfortunately, it was the last time he saw her. I don't know, that's awful. It's really fucking sad. So, he snuck out to have a cigarette one night and he jumped the fence Which was like a six-foot high actually. I don't even think it was a fence. I think it was like a wall I feel like a legit wall and I read somewhere that he had like joked about it earlier Like I can't get out of here, but then he was like kind of fucking whatever I want. I'll just scale this wall

And he did and he flew back to Seattle So on April 2nd and 3rd, he was spotted in multiple locations because Courtney hired a private investigator what she got word that he had left rehab. It's Tom Grant, right? Yeah, so the name of the investigator was Tom Grant. We're gonna get super into Tom Grant in episode two. Oh yeah.

I just want you guys to know for now that she had him hired. Yes. Unfortunately on the morning of April 8th, Kurt's body was discovered in the greenhouse of his Seattle home by an electrician who was supposed to be putting in a security system, which is super fucking ironic because it kind of just like makes sense because Kurt had told his friend that he was having that he was trust passers.

Yeah. And this guy was coming to insert a security system. Yeah. Why would somebody that was suicidal give a shit if there was like somebody who would trust passers? Like it seems weird that he would set this all up. Right. If he was just saying that he was just going to sell the pass. A suicide note was left next to his body.

And I found, I don't know if you can clear this up for me, because I found in some places that he shot himself in the head, but then I found in other places that he shot himself in the mouth. Yes, he shot himself in the mouth. Okay. And he also had a lethal dose of heroin in his system Oh yeah.

After the autopsy was conducted. And like I said, suicide note was left next to his body, but for over 20 years, fans, friends, and family have serious fucking doubts over whether this is what happened. Because there are a lot of fucking facts that point to it was not a suicide. Yes. And there's like a weird thing that happened because they aren't positive about exactly when he died because he was found a few days later. But it's speculated April 5th.

Yeah, that's when it's speculated. And but April 2nd, there is a police report that says a taxi driver picked a man up at Kurt's house. It doesn't say it's Kurt. Yeah, the house that he died of. It doesn't say it's Kurt, but it says that a taxi driver on April 2nd picked a man up at that house and drove him to a gun store to buy some shotgun bullets. Which is weird because Kurt already had ammunition.

Exactly. So why? Again, it doesn't say it won't name whether that was Kurt. That asked to go get shotgun bullets or if it was someone else. Right. And I think that's a weird little aside here. Very weird. So when the electric employee, Gary T. Smith, found him, he initially saw him lying inside of the greenhouse and he thought he was just asleep. Yeah. But then he saw... And he think it was like a mannequin at first. Yeah, he was like, it could be a mannequin.

Then he realized it was a person. So he was like, is he just like sleeping there? Like what the hell's going on? But then he saw blood coming out of his ear and he was like, okay, that's not a mannequin and he's not sleeping. And the note they found next to him, which I won't necessarily call a suicide note because I don't know if I believe it's suicide. It was inside a flower pot and it had a pen stuck through it and it was like stuck into the flower pot. And the shotgun that was purchased by his friend

was found resting on his chest. Mm-hmm. He had fresh and juxtap fresh injection marks on both arms, and like Ash said, he had a insanely lethal dose. Like, overly lethal. To the point where a few experts had said that it doesn't really seem like he would be able to operate that shotgun in the way that he would need to operate that shotgun. If he had that much heroin.

If he had that much heroin. If he had that much heroin, because it was so much. Like if you've ever seen intervention, like you see people on heroin, you're not able to do much. To function very much. Just sitting there. Yeah. In another world.

And to kill yourself, and we are going to get more into this in part two, we were going to get really into the physics of this. I want to, like, we're going to really, for run-six. We are. We are going to go through this with a fine-tooth comb, but we're just giving a quick little overview of this before we end our part one. To shoot yourself in the mouse with a shotgun,

like this particular shotgun, the 20-age, is not an easy task. You need a little coordination and a lot of like focus to do this. So it seems very odd that someone with that much heroin would be able to do this, but again, we're gonna get really into that in detail next time. The note that was found near his body said, quote, I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful. But since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Thank you all from the pit of my burning

nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic moody baby. And he did like an exclamation point. I don't have the passion anymore. And so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away. That's like the classic line that everybody uses. But to me, that's more of a... I don't want to do music anymore professionally. Also confirmed that right around this time Nervana was breaking out. Yeah, and Dave Grohl has confirmed that.. Yeah and part of that whole thing was due to Courtney telling him that he needed to make more money than the other people in the band because

because when they signed the deal I think it was after Nevermind or right when Nevermind became huge he agreed we split this three ways. Yeah, because he wasn't looking to get like super uber famous and rich. It was like, we're all doing this together. We all get the same amount of money. Because that's who Kirk Cobain was. He didn't give a shit. Right.

And she was like, she flipped out when she found out that he was making the same as Dave Grohl. And like the whole thing. Which is actually really fucking stupid. Because Courtney Love is a fucking trust fund, baby. Exactly. She had plenty of money. Which we are going to get into that too in part two, because we're going to explain

why we think what we think. But so she already caused issues in the band and they said they almost broke up because of that. Because of her, yeah. And they ended up like dealing with it and letting him get more money, but that was a big thing. And there's also part of the note which you're gonna hear in part two, which was written in a different handwriting.

And like people have studied this and I literally, like I read an article that said there's a different pressure on the universe. You can tell from the pressure that a different fucking hand wrote the fucking note. And that's the portion of the note that praises Courtney. It is all about Courtney. And it's the part of the note that makes it a suicide note. Exactly. So that's interesting.

And also if you read curts, like journal entries and stuff like that, they were all like that. They were all very like the first part of the note that was found up until the end. Just like it becomes like suicidal. Yeah, just like a train of thought that he just was getting out of pick. Yeah, literally a stream of music. It's necessarily mean that he was going to do anything.

No. Now they think that that note was probably written on or about April 5th, which is like Ash said, the estimated date, which Cobain, you know, just died. Exactly. How, when he died. Now, this was, now April 5th was one day after Courtney Love filed that missing person's report saying that he was suicidal. And she didn't fucking put the report in as Courtney Love.

She pretended to be his mom. Yes. And she said she put it in there saying he was suicidal and in possession of a gun. So she was already laying the groundwork. Right. And again, we're not claiming that we know 100%. Like nobody knows the besides the people involved, but what are you saying? These are very interesting. And how good would it look if his mom could, like that's just like interesting and how good would it look if his mom like that's just like Pre-thinking like it was it would look like a suicide that's pre-meditated was concerned that he was suicidal exactly And when they found the body he still had the plastic bracelet around his wrist from the rehab center, right They found a box of shotgun shells near his feet

One of the bolts was from that package. Right. There were cigarettes, a lighter, a winter hat, sunglasses, and a bunch of other items, like, strewn around him. Which is kind of odd. Photos of the scene show that the rest of the home was a complete fucking mess. Yeah.

Like, he was definitely going through some shit. But yeah, I think he was always going through some shit. Right. Because he stuck the gun in his mouth or someone else stuck the gun in his mouth, he was only able to be identified using fingerprints, which is so far. Yes. And they double checked that by looking in his, well, like they first looked in his wallet, found his ID because as well, it was right on him. But then they double checked that by looking in his, like they first looked in his wallet, found his ID, because as well it was right on him. But then they double checked with fingerprints, so that was the only way they could tell. Oh wow.

They said his body had been lying there for at least two days before he was found. And his death certificate stated that he died as a result of, quote, contact perforating shotgun wound to the head and concluded that his death was a suicide. But guess what, everybody, if fucking wasn't. It was not.

And we're gonna tell you all about that shit in episode two. Yes, episode two, we're going to get into some further details about the body, what was going on with the body. We're gonna talk about the physics of why it's really difficult to shoot yourself in the mouth with the body. We're gonna talk about the physics of why it's really difficult to shoot yourself in the mouth with a shotgun. And why the shotgun wouldn't be on where it was. Yeah, the where it falls, the trajectory, all that. We're gonna we're gonna really go into detail here.

I'm so fucking excited. And then we're gonna talk about Courtney. And we're just gonna talk about why we think Courtney may know a little more than she's letting on. She definitely does. And by that we mean, yeah, she definitely does. 125 million thousand infinity percent. We'll leave you with this. Neither one of us think that Courtney stuck the gun. No, in his face, and pulled the trigger.

But I think she definitely found somebody to do it for. But she's definitely got a connection. We're at least knows something about it. She knows something. But yeah, we'll get into that. Yeah. In part two. And we're gonna think our patronuses

because we promised you we'd do that. And we promised you we'd do it at the end of the episode. And here we are at the end of the episode. We're here. Hey. So we're gonna start with some of our newest patronuses because we're going all with some of our newest patronesses because we're going all out over here.

Tell me their names and I'll make jokes about it. We're gonna keep you on the edge of your seat. Ooh. So our first patroness that we're gonna thank is Savannah McKinney. Savannah McKinney, you are a McWenney. You are Savannah. Thank you so much, girl.

Thanks, Savannah. Our next patronessowness is... Allie Long! Allie Long! I love you for a long time! I was hoping you would say that. I was going to say, I love you long time! Allie Long!

Thank you so much, Allie! Thanks, girl! Next up, we have... Emily Howell! Emily Howell! I would Howell at the moon with you any day. Me too, I do it. Oh Thank you. Thank you Emily

Our next patronis is Shelley right Shelley. You're right for donating. You are right. Thank you Shelley. Thank you Shelley You're right right And next up we have Sarah Pellandini. Sarah Pellandini, you're like the Houdini Wizard of my soul. Thank you. Thank you so much, Sarah. And the last one that we will thank today is who is it? Who is it? David. What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? K-Bird.

K-Bird. K. Thanks. K. K-Thanks. K-Thanks, K. K. K.

Thank you. Thank you so much, K. K. K-Bye. K-Bye, thank you. K-Bye, thank you. In the meantime, you can follow us on Instagram, at morbidpodcast.

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Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. What makes a person a murderer? Are they born to kill? Or are they made to kill? I'm Candace DeLong, and on my podcast, Killer Psychie Daily, which you can find exclusively on Amazon Music, I share a quick 10-minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and

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