Morbid - Listener Tales 37
Episode Date: March 11, 2022We’ve made it all the way to the 37th installment of Listener Tales and somehow you guys have done it again!!! You had us cackling with your tales of ankle licking ghosts and life saving Sn...oop Dogg playlists and shaking in our boots about Skinwalkers ruining camping trips and more! Listener Tales 37 is a treat, enjoy! As always, thank you to our sponsors: HelloFresh: Get sixteen free meals, plus three gifts, with code morbid16 at HELLOFRESH.com/morbid16. SoloStove: Shop now at solostove.com and get up to 30% off fire pits all month long, AND use promo code MORBID at checkout to get an extra $20 off. BetterHelp: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Morbid listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/morbid Liquid IV: Grab Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 25% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code MORBID at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Angie's list is now Angie, and we've heard a lot of theories about why.
I thought it was an eco-move.
For your worst, guess paper.
It was so you could say it faster.
No way.
It's to be more iconic.
Must be a tech thing.
But those aren't quite right.
It's because now you can compare up front prices, book a service instantly, and even get
your project handled from start to finish.
Sounds easy.
It is.
And it makes us so much more than just a list.
Get started at Angie.com.
That's ANGI, or download the app today.
Hey there, fellow podcast listener.
It's Elena.
And Ash.
And we're taking you back to the days
before streaming services.
Whoa.
You know, when you would come home from high school,
and it was only a few hours until that TV show
Everyone was watching was about to come on well in
1999 that show was Buffy the vampire slayer in our podcast with Wondery the rewatcher Buffy the vampire slayer
We take it back to 1999 so get out your knee high boots and paste that poster of angel on the wall. It's time to enter the Buffyverse.
Some of you avid morbid listeners already know what we've gotten store.
Hey, Lennon.
Join us as we sway our way through Buffy's drama, action, and romance.
Episode by episode.
Slacy, follow the rewatcher Buffy the Vampire Slayer, wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen early and add free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.
Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl,
Hey weirdo's a-na-sh, I'm Elena, and this is morbid. It's listener tale.
Motherfuckers.
We were do a listener tale, especially after.
Why did you just look at me?
I don't know why.
I thought you were like misspeaking and it was funny, but then you weren't misspeaking.
I was still funny.
Because you said we were do a listener and I was like, what?
And then you met like do like a book report. I did like do you
Do you do eat?
Do not do it. Oh, it's been a week
It's been a week it's been a couple of weeks with Albert and we are officially crazy. We done
It's time for a listener tails. We and was gonna say, we are due, something fun,
something by you guys.
Something groovy.
Because you guys just bring it, so we are ready for it.
We're ready for it.
And, you know, I think we all earned this one.
Yeah, we earned this listener tails episode.
It's like if you broke down Albert Fish by week,
if it was a once a week podcast, that would have been a
fucking month of Albert. Yeah, sure would have. Luckily it was condensed to like what?
What was it? Two weeks. It ended up being technically like three I think.
Almost five hours long, I think. No way longer. Was it of like record of actual recorded?
No, it was like five hours before we did part four. Yeah, something like that.
It's probably like six to seven hours. Yeah, it was a lot. What was it for? Four pages total. Yeah,
I think it was at least 42, I think, at last count. So who hired you to write that? Yeah, I did,
I guess. I don't know. But I'm glad to be here now. Really am. Me too. And then you're doing something spooky.
Oh yeah, I'm doing something spooky.
I'm doing some spooky phenomenon.
I'm doing some haunted castle or something.
I'm not sure yet.
I haven't like landed on it,
but it's going to be something of that nature.
I'm not going into something too.
No.
Crazy this.
I just need a moment.
I need you to give me a reprieve.
Yeah, and I need a moment researching something like more fun and fancy free
It won't be fun and fancy free, but it will be fun. I bet in some way
But you know what here we are here we are with listener tails. So this is as Ash says oh
Brought to you by you from you and all about you. I'm still in cold medicine. We're on it.
So the first one I'm going to do is called Cape Cod Ghost Lady.
Yeah, man.
And as soon as I saw Cape Cod, I was like, I'm from there.
I'm from there.
I'm in.
It's from Bentley.
So hello, Bentley.
I just, I'm dying to say it like Macy does and say,
Bentley.
Bentley.
Bentley and Ron and Ron
Well, hello to you both and thank you for hopefully reading my story
You are welcome Bentley. Thank you for writing it. You're welcome. My name is Bentley
Bentley you may use my name. Thank you Bentley. I bet you're running that decision
I was just gonna say and I'm from Hudson Valley in New York
Although not a long story
It is quite intense and something that proves that spirits do reside here on Earth.
Agreed.
I want to start by saying that I first found out
about your podcast about a year ago
and I'm now an avid listener each week.
Thank you.
Although some episodes can be hard to listen to
due to the violent nature of the crimes,
your storytelling is very much enjoyable
and learning a bit more about these cases
is something that is always interesting.
Keep up the fantastic work.
Wow, thank you.
Bentley, that was really nice.
That just made me smile.
Made me smile.
He made me feel some top of why.
That is.
I needed that after Albert, so thank you.
Oh, man, for real.
Now to the story.
When I was around six years old, my family was staying in Cape Cod.
It was a typical Cape Cod beach-style house, so we all know it.
So incredibly old and wood everywhere. I was staying upstairs with my brothers and my mom
and sleep, and my mom was sleeping downstairs. I awoke in the middle of the night after having
a bad dream and proceeded to go downstairs for comfort from my mom. Did we all do that as kids?
No. As I come down to the living room and look towards the kitchen, I notice a woman in a
robe with curlers in her hair.
She appears to be doing something over the counter like stirring coffee.
That's what it looks like from my angle.
Thinking that it was my mom, she wore a robe and curlers often at night, I called out to
her and started walking towards the kitchen to tell her of my dream.
As I got closer, something seemed off, but I couldn't place it at the time.
She very slowly and deliberately looked up, turned around to face me, as I approached, and her face
was that of someone who was quite shocked that I could see them. I will never forget her mouth
a gap in just the bizarre look that I got, Kind of like, how the heck can you see me?
Oh, man.
So I kept walking closer and she took off
making a hard left behind the wall.
That part of the kitchen was blocked by the living room wall.
So I ran into the kitchen while being very confused
as to why my mom wasn't answering me
and she just took off running.
I entered the kitchen and she went right through the fridge
and disappeared.
I'm six years old in naive, so I opened the refrigerator door to see if she was in there and
no luck.
Oh, I love that.
I shake it off and go into my mom's room and wake her up, asking if she was just in the
kitchen.
Again, I was six and a little slow and tired.
Clearly she wasn't in the kitchen and she said, no honey, I was right here.
She's very open to the idea of ghosts and and I have been my whole life, too,
which is why I believe I saw this one
and have felt other spirits around me before as well.
Quick detour.
My childhood home was a rebuild.
After a fire destroyed the original house on that property,
fun fact, the original house survived
the burning of Kingston by the British.
Oh shit.
But burned down a few years later, that's wild.
That's bananas.
Crazy, right?
Right.
There was also a funeral that was held in the house
right before my parents bought it in the sunroom.
Her name was Esther, and she loved to let us know
that she was still very much there.
Nothing malicious, just swinging this living
from chandelier at random times, and walking
by us briskly while feeling her cold breeze
on a balmy summer's night, that sounds wonderful.
I like look forward to doing that.
Oh, I think that's wonderful.
I'm not gonna say I can't wait, but I look forward to it.
Yeah, it'll be a fun adventure when it comes.
And she would stand directly behind me at night
while home alone watching unsolved mysteries,
Robert Staxe, chilling voice,
and the constant feeling of an old lady spirit
standing nearby was everything to me as a kid.
I would have been like,
do you want to sit next to me?
Do you want to sit?
Do you want some popcorn?
Needless to say, I would keep all the lights on
during that show, but I digress.
I remember watching that show like Super duper young, too. Do do do do it. In closing, I will never forget the ghost
face and her reaction to me. She was a full body apparition and I believe that she passed suddenly
and of cardiac arrests since she was going about her life as if she were still alive and I didn't
see anything in the way of injuries, blood, etc. Thank you for taking the time to read my Cape
Cod coffee making ghost lady story and keep it weird,
but not so weird that you wake up in the middle of the night
to make coffee and get caught by a six-year-old
who just had a bad dream and wanted his mom's comfort
and then decide to run away while driving through
the, while diving through the refrigerator
making an innocent kid feel so confused.
Bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant,
sorry, Bentley.
I like that one.
That one made me feel like so happy. Me too. I love your real life. Bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, bant, b, this is my house. I'm just getting coffee. Oh, fuck dude. I love a nighttime coffee. A nighttime hot coffee. Yes. Oh,
Primo. Oh, it truly... Chef's kiss. Wow. It truly is. I don't know what it is. Like,
we're going out to dinner for my grandpa's birthday next weekend or, yeah, one weekend.
You don't need to know. You don't need to know. Going to this Italian restaurant and they offer you like a espresso after and I'm gonna
get one. My favorite thing is after that dinner. And they say I'm gonna get coffee or espresso
and you get your coffee with your dessert and it's like sometimes you see Jimmy Garoppolo
in the restaurant. No, no, no, no, no. We literally saw Jimmy Garoppolo.
My little cousin walked over to his table
like maybe a little root in hindsight,
but like my little cousin was hyped.
And he was yelling.
He was, it was not actually root.
I'm just fucking with you.
But, and he came over and mock up saying how handsome
he was like in front of me, like standing next to me.
He's so handsome.
He's so handsome.
He's getting here.
I feel like that's Jimmy Garoppos like I'm 19 though. Yeah, it's. He's so handsome. He's getting at us. He's like, that's Jimmy Garth.
I'm 19 though.
Yeah, it was one of my dad's birthday.
So it was like a 70th birthday or something.
It was a big birthday.
Yeah, he loves the Patriots.
And it was when Jimmy Garth was on the Patriots.
So this was like massive.
Yeah.
And my little cousin was like, can you come say hi
to my grandchild?
Jimmy Garth was so nice.
Such a sweetheart.
He, like, said happy birthday to my grandpa,
shook his hand.
Like hung out and talked for a minute.
He took pictures with the family.
It was a real sweet thing.
It was so nice.
I love that we got here, but this is what
listener tails are for, you know?
I needed it.
You get some of our tails in here.
Yeah, just looped in the middle.
Jimmy Garoppolo, you know?
Garopp's.
All right, so my next one is Listener Tales.
Crops.
My Listener Tales next one.
Oh my god.
Wow.
My Next Listener Tale is called, He Licked My God Damn Ancle.
Amen.
Amen.
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Hi ladies, it was so awesome meeting you for the Australian meet and greet.
My name is Jess, I remember you!
Yeah!
Oh my god, it's so great to talk to you again.
Oh that was so much fun too.
Oh that was fun. You can use my name, it's so great to talk to you again. Oh, that was so much fun too. Oh, that was fun
You can use my name. It's all good. Thank you, Jack. Because I did
Firstly here I go fan-girling you women rock
You're the type of girls in high school that I wanted to be friends with but being the chubby potato
I am I wouldn't try because I thought I wasn't cool enough to hang first of all
Your wonderful and beautiful and hilarious and also I would have 100% hung out with you
I definitely would have hung out with you.
I definitely would have hung out with you.
And I too am a chubby potato,
so we could be chubby potatoes.
And I am literally made of potatoes.
Like I am 99.9% potato.
You're built like a French fry.
I sure, I got there.
Yeah, there you go.
The baked potatoes.
So together, we're the potato gals.
Potatoes.
You can't sit with us unless you're ketchup, okay?
So secondly, being pregnant during quarantine was horrible.
But listening to you made it just that little bit more bearable.
So thanks.
You're welcome.
The morning of my canceled baby shower, I laid in bed crying until I put on one of my favorite
episodes you ever recorded.
Fucking Dennis, am I right?
You are right.
You perked me right up.
I'm sorry that your baby shower had to be canceled.
That sucks.
Man, the pandemic sucked.
Brood and everything.
Oh, I say sucked.
Sucks.
I don't know why it said that.
Like, because I do feel like we're getting there.
We're getting somewhere.
Yeah, it's getting a little better, I feel.
I just have to look forward to it.
Yeah, got to hope.
What, got to have hope?
Yeah.
So by many morbid whom you met at the Australian,
at the Australian,
the Australian me in Greek ruby.
Oh my god.
I fucking remember that little bib.
Ruby.
I also love the name Ruby.
I do too.
Was exposed only hours old to your stories.
I was listening to them in the hospital after my C section.
My midwife was also a huge fan of morbid.
Amazing.
I love that.
Anyway, I'm no
John Allen, but I hope you enjoy my spooky tale. She outto John Allen. John Allen.
Alright, so I've always believed that there's a life after death and some wander aimlessly
until they get what they need. I believe they communicate in very different ways.
For example, every third Sunday of the month, I will dream that I'm having high tea with my great grandma, who has now been gone for 14 years. We talk, she knows Ruby,
and she's reassured me. She sent her down to me because she saw I was missing something.
My fucking heart just exploded. Oh my god, I got, I went, I always have to say when I get
like physical chills, because it doesn't happen. That, whoa, yeah, that just gave me full chills.
That made me feel like warm. And just the third Sunday of the month, I know.
Like you have this stay-in-day appointment with your, that's amazing.
I love that. My grandma, like, Ma says that her mom visits her. Yeah.
It's not on like a certain amount of like, not on a certain day, but she'll visit her
in her dreams. That you know, that's fun. It's um, at my grandma, I loved my grandma.
She passed away when I was just entering college, I think it was.
Yeah, because I was nine.
Yeah, and I remember I was going through some like, some like,
doodish shoes at one point with like an X.
And I, it was, I think it was like I had just met John,
with my John now.
And I was like, oh, what is happening?
And I remember I went to sleep one night
and it was the first night that I had dreamt of her.
It was a couple of years after she had passed away.
And my grandmother was sitting in a booth
at like a restaurant we used to go to
in the Cape Clancy's.
Oh, the Cape Clancy's so good.
And she's sitting in front of me and she said to this day, I cape clansies. Oh, shacking clansies so good. And yes, and she's sitting in front of me,
and she said to this dad, I don't know what she said,
but she reached across the table, held my hand,
looked at me right in the eye and said something,
and then I woke up and I was like,
what am I doing?
It's John.
And I literally was like, it's John.
Like, what am I even doing here?
Like, what am I even doing? Because at that point, I wasn't even dating John, but I was like, it's John. What am I even doing here? Like, what am I even doing?
Because at that point, I wasn't even dating John,
but I was like, definitely.
You were like, what's it called?
I was definitely like, I love that boy.
But in my head, I was like, no, no, no,
I don't know what's happening,
but I know I woke up and was like, it's so clear.
Like, so clear.
What game to you?
And now I'm like, what did you say?
Can't even remember.
She said it's John. But they do that, I swear. Absolutely now I'm like, what did you say? Can't even remember. She said, it's John.
But they do that.
Absolutely.
Make sure you're on this, man.
Totally.
Whenever I like, like a wanting or like,
like feeling like I like need to talk to somebody,
I talked to Nanny.
Oh yeah.
And I didn't even really know her that well.
Yeah.
She was, I was nine when she passed away.
She was awesome.
She was really cool.
She used to sing Kesa Rasa Rata me all the time.
I love that. When she was in the nursing home, like she had a stroke and she like couldn. She was awesome. She was really cool. She used to sing Kesa Rasa Rata to me all the time. I love that. When she was in the nursing home,
like she had a stroke and she like couldn't talk at all and she would always
reach for my hand. Yeah, I was wanted to be a walk next to her. She's such a sweet lady.
Oh, great. We digress. I know. So I take this as a positive interaction with the
afterlife, but sometimes they're not so positive. Now let me start off by saying
during the day, the quarantine station is gorgeous.
It overlooks Sydney Harbor, it's well maintained,
and people actually choose to get married there.
But at night, it's a totally different story.
The quarantine station was designed
for the people coming into Australia on the ships.
If there was an outbreak of any plagues,
they would live there, die there,
and of course, is the site of many haunts.
About 10 years ago was my first visit. We did the tour and at the first signs were subtle.
Or excuse me, and at first the signs were subtle. The sweet smell in the air when entering a room,
the feeling of being watched or a cold patch. My cousin and I entered the grave diggers cottage.
We, being the young cocketeen girls we are kept saying
how we weren't scared and there's no spirit.
The tour guide suggested for us to hide in the cupboard
and scare the boys we were with, so we did.
We get into the cupboard and we're holding each other's hands,
both sets, four hands.
Next minute, my cousin tells me that she had the feeling
of someone grabbing her butt.
She described it as a full hand to butt squeeze.
Hand to butt squeeze.
She's like, I'm not kidding you, this is a full hand to butt squeeze.
She's like a little like tutu.
Then we both heard it.
A low guttural moan, as if someone was in the throes of love making.
I'm screaming.
Needless to say, we know it's so hard
out of that cupboard and cottage.
We entered other buildings and small occurrences
that didn't seem like much happened to us at all.
Then came the morgue.
Oh yeah.
Oh, he was like, my time to shine.
It was my place.
Morgue's to me have always been a little iffy,
but this stone-munched top, sandstone-floored room,
just didn't seem right.
The tour guide split the room into two group,
excuse me, split the room into two.
Boys on one side, girls on the other. Again, standing with my cousin, we were listening to the tour guide split the room into two group, excuse me, split the room into two. Boys on one side, girls on the other.
Again, standing with my cousin, we were listening to the tour guide.
He did a few jump scares and we laughed it off.
But inside, I was not laughing.
I was scared stiff.
There was someone touching my ear, my neck, and then my ankles.
Stop.
I felt a cold breeze on my ankle, which was quite impossible as I had on skinny jeans and a pair of sky blue chucks.
Oh yeah. I was like, what a fit. Wow. I looked down to see the cuff of my jeans was pulled up, so I pulled it down.
It's still cold. I look. They're up again. I pull it down again. I feel a light, a tight sensation like someone grasping your leg and my jeans go up again.
This cold wet-like feeling again on my ankle.
Oh!
We got out of the morgue and I started telling my dad
what just happened and he says,
wow, that's a bit creepy.
The tourist reaction.
That's a bit creepy.
It's like, you're wet ankle.
That's really freaky, man.
The tour guide overheard the conversation and goes,
ah, you met Mr. Slimey.
Oh, get the fuck out of here with that. Like, why? You met Mr. Slimey. Oh, get the fuck out of here with that.
Like, why?
You met Mr. Slimey.
Why?
I'd be like, why don't you guys warn us about it?
Why, guys?
Yeah, there should be some kind of warning
before you enter the morgue that Mr. Slimey lives in there.
Caution, what ankles?
Oh.
And the tour guide said, we don't know his real name
or why he haunts the morgue.
We do know he likes young women.
The tour guide then went on to tell
about how Mr. Slimey would like to blow in young girls ears and had a foot fetish.
I mean pop off son, you do you, but the cold wet sensation made sense. He licked my god damn
angel. Oh my god, you, I can't, I'm leaving. By this time we were done, I was noping so hard.
Time to go home and have nightmares about this day
for the rest of my life.
Time to settle in with this trauma.
Time to wipe off my ankle.
Fast forward eight years, and I decided to go back
with my husband and dad.
We did more ghost hunter revives and stayed over the night.
We were given communion sticks, and we're told that you ask
yes or no. Did I say that wrong? No. No, you're good. No, I didn't. The sticks would move if the
spirit wants to communicate. So my dad gets to have a chat with the matron of the hospital,
another woman to a little girl, but I didn't feel anything. We entered the dentist rooms and were
given analogue radios, which were set to scan through the frequencies fast and backwards.
If a spirit wants, they will manipulate the frequency and make words that would be heard clearly.
I love that.
I think it freaks me the fuck out.
I was like, I think it does.
I'm fairly certain it freaks me the fuck out.
Yeah, not positive though.
Pretty sure.
Yeah.
My dad was holding the radio and he says,
hello, and asks if the ghost minded if we were in
there, the frequency goes quiet.
Get out.
Oh, okay.
Bye.
Love that movie.
See you.
I know.
Such a good flick.
I'd be like, great movie, right?
I'd be like, I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Okay, dad says we'll leave now shall we? Yes, and answered back.
I have never seen my dad run so fast in my life.
I love that it was like get out and he was like,
should I get out though?
And it was like yes.
And he was like, okay.
And because I wasn't clear.
Yes.
It was like, yep, you are correct.
What if the ghost said, let me clear mothro?
Dude, dude, dude.
And it's like, like, you did the radio station
to play that song in the grave, Dickers. I got an instant sick feeling like I had a headache and
needed to lie down.
My husband, on the other hand, felt like he was ready for a cold rum with a
mate. Turns out the grave digger hated women and loved a good cold rum with
his mates.
Oh, shit.
So are they good grounds for divorce?
My husband is mates with a ghost that hates me.
I don't know how you write that down, man.
You can't hang over.
I love it.
The shower block was a huge note for me.
I felt terrified.
I had instant dread and wanted to vomit
until I left the building.
Off to the morgue, we went.
I kept my mouth shut about my past experiences
and thought I'm older now.
Surely he'll leave me alone.
Wrong.
Oh no.
We were given these scanners which picked up temperature changes.
As soon as I walked in, mine was lit up like a Christmas tree, and again, my ear was being
played with.
Ew!
Don't touch my ears.
The tour guide asked if I was okay.
I was pale and I looked scared.
I explained what happened last time, and the skinner started flickering as if
Mr. Slimey was laughing. Mr. Slimey. Get out of here Dick and Wily. You're wrong.
Full of yourself. Sure enough, he remembered me. My hair was being brushed back and he licked my
goddamn ankles again. I hate it. It's funny. We stayed the night in the old hospital rooms. That's amazing.
I know that's really cool. Nothing more transpired, but the next morning,
we vowed to never return unless good reason.
It's good reason I come there and we get to go together.
I feel as though yes.
Yeah, go kay cool, because I want it,
but that's really bad.
I'm gonna wear like eight pairs of socks though.
I want it, I'm so bad.
That sounds really cool.
Anywe ladies, I hope you liked my long ass ramble
about my love hate relationship with the quarantine station and I am more than happy to visit... oh
hello here it is. I'm more than happy to visit there again should you ever be
and sit here. Hell yeah! Keep it weird but not so weird that you go to take a trip
with your friends and your fucking ankle gets liked by my man named Mr. Slimey.
In the mug. And then you choose to go back. We're going back again. Once somebody
can drug me enough to get me on a plane to go to
Australia, we're there. I can do that. I have a face. I just like give me a challenge. I don't know.
I'm like I'll figure it out. I'll do it. That was amazing. That was awesome. Yes. And it was nice
to hear from you again. I know. Until Ruby we said hi. Oh, little Roob. I love her. A little longer.
I know until Ruby we said hi. A little Roop, I love her.
A little longer.
All right, so my next one is called Wrong Turn.
This one is Kuku Nuts.
So this one begins by saying changing names
for privacy reasons.
So thank you.
Thank you, right away.
A few things before I begin.
One, I'm sorry for how long this is,
but in order to understand our fear,
you must know everything. Never apologize. Never. Two, I love you guys. I started listening to your podcast
about a week ago, and now it's all I listened to. Y'all have me hooked. And three, I'm extremely
dyslexic. So, so please excuse my grammar. It is excused. You don't have to worry. And honestly,
it was great. Yeah, you did great. I already read through this. Okay let's get started. My then boyfriend Austin is a police officer and I'm a paramedic. Wow that's
amazing. What a duo. So we've both seen some crazy things but brace yourselves for one lady's
because we almost shit ourselves. This happened in my hometown of Los Alamos, New Mexico. Austin and I
were visiting his best friend Michael for the weekend, we lived in the city.
Spoiler, I'll let y'all know now,
Michael is the definition of a grade A idiot.
He invited Austin, me, and two other friends
on a camping trip with his family in the Hamas.
Thank you so much for that pronunciation.
The Hamas Mountains, I appreciate that.
They're the bottom of the Rocky Mountains to be exact.
Now that was no problem because we all loved camping.
We just had to be cautious with timing.
And I'll tell you why in a second.
Caleb and Sam, the other two friends, didn't get off work until 12am, which wasn't terrible,
but that just meant we had to head straight to the campsite.
We all decided to carpool.
Now a little backstory. Los Alamos, mostly known for the atomic bomb, is a very beautiful town. Again
located at the bottom of the Rockies, so it's very foresty, small, and isolated.
The nearest city is about 45 minutes away, depending on how fast you drive. Most of
New Mexico is native land as well, so there's a lot of rumors and legends. It's
told that a group of witches like to gather together at 3am and the Hamas, it's
Hamas, right?
Was I right?
Yes.
Hamas.
And the Hamas encurs the town.
Wow, that's intense.
That is incredibly intense.
So they do it every 3am, like every night?
It seems like it.
Wow, that's a lot.
I mean, I like to party.
Yeah, I mean, that's just a lot of cursing. Which everyone clearly believes because it becomes a ghost town by 2 a.m. If you happen to be
out at 3, you're more than likely get pulled over and told to go home. Mind you, the entire town has
hidden cameras all over, mostly due to L.A.N.L. Los Alamos National Laboratory. So cautious with timing, meaning we had to be careful
because they'd be watching.
Anyway, once they got off work, we headed to the campsite,
which was going to take about an hour and a half.
And I shit you not.
30 minutes in, Michael tells us he forgot his tent.
I'd be like, you can use ours by.
Strike one, buddy.
So a bit annoyed, we turn around,
grab his stupid tent and head back up.
Then, Mr. Michael can't remember which campsite we're going to, and we're in the middle
of the fucking woods with no service. So now pissed off, we decided to drive to the haunted
town of Hamez Springs to see if we can get some service to call his mom, lovely woman,
by the way. I love that. She's like, Michael might suck, but you know what?
Mom is great.
As he's on the phone with her,
and a poiblo police officer pulls up.
If you're unfamiliar, you never want
to get pulled over by poiblo police
because their land is like being in a foreign territory.
So in other words, you're fucked.
He was nice, though, and just warned us to get on our way
before, and I quote things get bad.
Can you imagine?
No.
If you get pulled over and the police officer
looks at you and was like, just get home
before things get bad.
Before things get bad.
I feel like is that a threat?
Is that like a promise?
What goes the wrong around you?
Or is that just you being like, hey,
things are about to get bad so you should get home?
Like what does this mean?
Like bad?
Toot or not alarming at all.
Knowing he's right, we get back on the road.
Now being 2 a.m. Michael had mentioned how
that was the strangest call he's had with his mom
and how it just seemed off.
We'll come back to that though.
So our poor friend Caleb isn't from around here
and he asked why the cop said what he did,
which then took the guys into story time.
He called bullshit and said they're just stories and we're overreacting, but his opinion changed
pretty quickly.
We're finally on the correct road to the campsite, but we run into another problem.
There's two ways to get there.
One road leading you straight there and the other one being an off-roading route.
We were definitely not in a car that can go off-roading, so we asked Michael which road it was.
And of course, he didn't know.
Big shocker.
Oh my god, I'd really get out of the car right now.
Yeah, Michael is a menace to society.
So he's looking at Google Maps and tells us he's 1,000% positive.
It's the road to the left.
It was not.
I feel like you should be, I feel like this should be three, but strike two Mikey.
So yes, now we're heading down this insanely bumpy road
with huge boulders and potholes everywhere.
Not to mention, we were driving next to a huge hill,
basically a cliff, with no way to turn around.
I was livid and decided to keep my mouth shut
because my mom always told me,
if you ain't got nothing nice to say, Zippy Lips.
I was also on edge because the entire time I felt like something was following us.
Now I trusted Austin with his driving, but it was nerve-wracking nonetheless because we
did have a few coast calls.
Finally, though, we see a spot we can turn around, but it wasn't going to be easy.
Picture being on a very rough dirt road with a mountain on one side and on the other side
some bushes and then a 70-degree
slope with a tree in the middle of the road that you can't drive that you can drive around
if you do it very carefully.
No.
No.
That's where they should take people to learn how to drive.
Yeah, that's terrible.
That was the situation we were in at 3.15 a.m.
Oh, no, thank you.
So Austin says he needs a little some extra eyes because it's dark as hell and he doesn't
want to go back up. He doesn't want to go back up
He doesn't want to back up too much and roll off the hill. That's a good that you know, don't do that
Yeah, like great. I think that's valid planning ahead so without thinking twice
I get out and use a flashlight to signal him while Michael and Sam are leaning out the windows yelling directions
He of course gets fed up and puts the car in park telling them to get the fuck out because they're not helping.
I can't. The whole time I'm standing a few feet away trying to listen to what was going on in the car as well as my surroundings.
I don't know if that was the medic in me being trained to be alert at all times,
or if it was just because I felt somewhat alone in the woods, even though the guys were right there.
Either way, I was listening to everything, and in the midst of all the yelling, I heard a twig snap.
Go by.
I shined the flashlight at the bushes and see that they were shaking a bit.
Nope.
Hop out of there.
Tried not to think much of it due to small critters, but definitely took note of it.
Caleb then comes to join me when they all got kicked out and asked if I was okay.
Then we heard something behind us, and when we turned around, he froze.
I asked him what was wrong, and with fear in his eyes, he put his hand across me, and
told me to get back in the fucking car.
Confused, I turned around and started flashing my flashlight down the dirt road.
FYI, I'm totally tearing up while writing this part.
Oh my god.
Oh, I personally didn't see anything, but whatever it was, scared him enough to go into
protective mode.
Michael then crept up behind and scared us, and I screamed aloud.
But the woods were so dense, it didn't sound like much.
Michael asked what we were doing and said they needed our help because we had the flashlights.
We then told them we keep hearing things and how Caleb saw something, never said what.
And then Michael made his third strike
with saying, legend has it, skin walkers.
I would be like, we're leaving you
in the desolate woods.
I'd be like, you know what, you are among the skin walkers now.
Enjoy.
You become a part of them.
So by earned this.
Yeah, become feral.
So the second he said that, it's like
the whole world went silent because you're never supposed to write it. You just keep
it in your fucking head. We can only hear each other's hearts pounding
until we heard a scream that sounded like it was right behind each of us. We all jump
back in the cars quickly as possible and lock the doors. See, the thing was, we didn't just
hear any scream.
It was the exact scream I had made a minute prior.
I already read this, but I still have chills
running up the fucking down my spine.
Like someone was mocking me, such as a skin walker.
Nobody said a word because we were all listening
to what could be outside.
Austin then starts trying to turn the car around the best he could
so we could get the hell out of there.
After what seemed like forever, we got the car turned around.
And just when we think we're home free, the car died.
Can you imagine being in the scenario
and then your car just like fucking cuts it?
No, by.
Which made no sense because it was a brand new 2018 Honda Civic.
And listen, we all know we've been talking Honda Civic's brand and Lee Lee.
We're randomly, we've been talking about Honda Civic's.
At high tea.
But we're like, they never die.
They don't. My friend Deb had a Honda Civic for 55 years, I'm pretty sure.
And she's not even 65.
She's 55. It's the craziest thing.
It's wild.
And they never die. They really don't. They're like the goonies. And these never say die. I'm pretty sure and she's not even 55 55 crazy as big while
And they never died there's a really don't like the goonies and these never say die and this one was brand new Honda's never say die. They don't so all I know is it was pitch black and I was scared a few moments go by and nobody moved
We just listened then it came to the point where we had to do something
So I tell Austin a pop is hood and I'll go take a look
Look you bad ass came to the point where we had to do something. So I tell Austin to pop his hood and I'll go take a look. Look at you, badass.
Damn it. To no surprise, Caleb got out with me because he seemed to be the only
gentleman at the moment. Yeah, you got to leave.
Austin, yeah, Caleb's the best. We lift the hood and start looking at potential
problems, but everything was fine. Now, right before we close the hood, we hear
what sounded like footsteps in every direction. Get out of there.
We both freeze and just look at each other, leaving everyone else confused.
I turned around and there it was.
I don't know what, but it was watching us from behind the bushes.
Hoking out from the top of the bushes looked like the top of a human head.
When we locked eyes, it ducked down trying not to be seen. Which freaked me out, because
whatever it was was trying to hide knowing we had nowhere to run. This is like wrong turn.
It is.
Caleb and I jumped back in the car as fast as we could and again locked the doors. Not even a minute
later, you can hear and somewhat see us get surrounded by these dark figures on all fours.
Are you on all fours?
The car then began to rock back and forth and the doors got unlocked.
Panicking at this time, we're now pulling our door shut to keep whatever was out there from getting in.
Everyone was screaming at Austin to drive and you could hear them mimicking our voices saying,
drive, drive, drive, drive.
I know that part fucked me up.
Can you, like, you're so fucking scared for some reason
because, like, you'll see it in movie sometimes
when, like, people are, like, panicking
and then, like, whoever's trying to kill them,
like, mimics them.
For some reason, that's one of the scariest fucking things
on the planet.
Think about it.
I can think of one right now.
Silence of the lambs when she's screaming because she sees the embedded fingernails on the inside of
that pit. And we just start going, and starts yelling back at her and laughing. So scary.
So scary. One of the scariest moments in any movie to me.
Hate it. Fuck to me. Right the fuck up.
Because in that moment you're like, nobody gives up.
Nobody gives a shit. He doesn't care. He thinks it's funny. That's horrible.
Ah, okay.
The door's locked once again and we can't see or hear anything.
You skipped over the part where the car starts and everything starts.
Oh, finally the car starts and everything stops.
Sorry, I'm like freaking out.
The car door's locked once again and we can't see or hear anything.
Slowly, we start driving back down the bumpy road.
In the rear view mirror, you can see five figures stand up on two feet like humans, and they
were just pointing at us. Mind you, I said five figures, and there was five of us. Let
that sink in for a second, I shan't.
So still freaking out, we make it to the main road where we have service. Michael's parents
are blowing his phone up, asking where we are, and decides to, and he decides to call
them again. Plot twist. While on the phone, Michael's mom said we his phone up, asking where we are and decides to call them again.
Plot twist.
While on the phone, Michael's mom said
we should have called earlier.
He then asked what she was talking about
because we did, and she was persistent on no you didn't.
Remember, he didn't feel like he had taught.
Oh my God, it was a skin walker.
Like conversation was weird.
Nope.
Then went on about another campsite
that was in the complete opposite direction of us
and has how she has no idea how we landed up where we did.
Then when Austin and I found out he was not on the phone with his mom earlier, all we
could think of was how witches prayed on our vulnerability and were hunting us down like
animals, which let us heading back to town without a second thought and said, fuck that camping trip.
That's what I'm always saying to camping trips.
Honestly, again, getting pulled over by
Pueblo Police, we explained how we were just trying to go camping
and don't want any trouble.
And even though my boyfriend and I were first responders,
that clearly didn't matter.
Austin then mentioned the other officer that pulled us
over earlier and we were told that wasn't possible
because he was the only officer on duty in that area.
Mind blown.
So they got pulled over again and this officer is like,
no, there's no way anybody pulled you over before
because it wasn't me, but I'm the only one out here.
Yeah.
Can you find him?
So he's made like you got pulled over by Skinwalker,
girlfriend.
What's up?
It's so skinned.
So in all, we came to the conclusion that the first officer was a skin walker as well,
and somehow they intercepted Michael's call with his mom and tried to leave us to our death.
LMA, all I have to say is, I love it's like laughing my ass off.
All I have to say is, I haven't been camping since and it's been almost four years.
Thank you guys for taking the time to read this.
I have plenty of other haunting stories I can send through.
But for now, this one is the cherry on top of the Sunday.
So remember, stay out of the woods, kids, and always keep it weird.
K-bye.
My dream.
Yours truly, K.
K.
Holy shit.
Call it.
That was amazing.
Send us your other ones, because I am ready to be terrified like I am right now.
So fucking scary.
Oh my god, the like, on all fours.
On all fours.
And mimicking.
Mocking.
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Oh my god.
I know, right?
When you just did that, I was like, ah,
you did it.
Oh, fast, cured.
I don't like it.
My next one is bleak.
Just so everybody knows.
Real bleak.
Real bleak.
Cool.
So it's called Listener Tales, 4H Camp Creep.
Okay, hey, Cheekas.
After listening to the episodes
about the Oklahoma Girl Scout murders,
I had a flashback to my own childhood camp experience.
Before I start, I wanted to share some insight.
I don't think it was the counselor's fault.
If they had been in the tents with the girls,
they probably would have been killed also.
The adults should have been looking out for all their safety.
Totally agree.
Yeah, unfortunately, yeah.
Unfortunately, even though we know our world has always had evil monsters, it takes tragedy
to reform, sorry, I said that really weird.
Unfortunately, even though we know our world has always had evil monsters, it takes tragedy
for reform to take place,
which you will see in my camp experience.
I do wish to remain anonymous for the sake of the girls.
I got you.
More back.
More back.
More back.
So, onto my story about 4-H camp creep.
I spent my childhood years going to the summer camp
in northeast Michigan.
It wasn't very far for my
home, maybe 45 minutes. My older brother and sister never went to the camp, just me.
I was probably the annoying youngest child, my parents wanted to get rid of
for a few days. I was shy and socially awkward, and it learned to outgrow a speech
impediment that made me sound like I had an accident from the Bronx. Oh my god! That's amazing.
Even though I had spent most of my life in Northern Michigan.
That's amazing.
Needless to say, I enjoyed camp, but wasn't great at socializing.
I still suck at people as an adult.
Same.
Me too.
This week was spent staying in cabins
with other girls my age, and even one teen counselor.
We height, climbed ropes, swam, canoe, tie-died shirts,
had campfires, told stories and did funny skits.
It was great and every
year went well until the last year I went to camp, or should I say, the last year I was
allowed to go to this camp. Ooh, I was 9 or 10 years old and this year, my older sister,
14 or 15 at the time, was my camp counselor. At this point in our life, we still got along
great, so I was thrilled to have her at camp with me that summer. The week went great.
My sister was friends with several of the other counselors too, so she had a good week
also.
But on our last morning there, my sister was already gone from the cabin when I got up.
Someone came in and told me to gather my belongings and head to the lodge.
I was going home.
I was bummed.
I was missing the festivities of the last morning there, but I was confused as to why I was leaving.
When I got to the lodge, my sister and four other counselors were huddled together crying.
My mom has always been the one to pick us up since my dad was always working, but on
this morning, my dad was there, and although I had no idea what was going on, it was easy
to see that my dad was pissed.
He was talking angerly but quietly to a few other adults and the
state police were there. No one told me what to do or what was going on, so I looked over at the
group of girls again and just started sobbing. I don't blame you. I know you're probably so scared.
One of the girls with my sister jumped up and grabbed my arms and insisted why were you crying?
She was panicked. I just replied because all of you are crying and I'm scared.
She had freaked out because she thought I was crying
because something happened to me too.
I didn't know what happened.
I was confused, but my chubby little self
had figured out something bad had gone on.
Soon all the parents of the other counselors were there too.
There was yelling.
They were all very angry, angry with the camp owners.
And they wanted all of us gone before the rest of the campers came up for breakfast and their parents started to arrive
I soon found out that during the night a male cook had gone into each of the girls cabins
The counselor and each cabin woke up to him on top of them
He was grabbing and trying to get them to quote have some last night fun
My bed was right next to my sister's bed.
I never heard anything.
She had shoved and kicked him off her
and told him to leave,
and he did so without touching her any further.
Not that I was told anyways.
He did this to five female counselors
that were all teenagers.
He got more aggressive with each cabin
as he forced himself on the girls.
Just writing this, I want to puke.
I literally want to kill him.
I want to kill him with my bare hands.
The counselor didn't sleep and reported this right away.
The camp was and still owned by a YMCA located a couple hours south of the camp.
The cook was hired by the YMCA and brought up to work for the week.
He was not arrested that morning.
What?
I bet you're wondering why.
I sure am. So I'll tell you, the YMCA fucking shipped his creepy ass home as soon as they heard what
he had been up to during the night. Are you kidding me? He was hours away. This is what all the
parents were furious about. Oh my god. I would be. I would own that subbed up.
Deppcon 5. Like I would be lighting things ablaze. Ligit.
They wanted him arrested then, but the camp owner seemed to be covering it up.
The cook was there on a work release program as part of his rehabilitation probation.
What the fuck?
Come on.
They sent a criminal to work at a camp with youth and teenage girls.
Come on.
The cook was arrested.
All of the girls press charges against him, But I don't know what happened from there. I vaguely remember my dad taking my sister to court to test
Oh, it's awful. I can't I'm so sorry that they had to do with that like and you're it's you're just enjoying your summer at
So you're just doing a job like one of the most innocent things possible and it's like they you had this nice summer
They are this nice week that you got to hang out with your sister for a week
Yeah, counselor that must have been cool you had this nice summer, or this nice week that you got to hang out with your sister for a week. Yeah. She's the counselor.
That must have been cool.
Right.
And this fucker was how it ends.
This is what it ends.
They didn't share much with me and I never asked.
My sister's okay, so I won't bring it up.
I still feel like it was covered up.
Nothing can be found for records or newspaper articles from that time.
Wow.
My story is another example of how it has taken tragedy for reform.
Background checks are required here for having anything to do with youth programs.
As they should.
I do want to say that this camp is a great camp and brings together wonderful opportunities
for childrens and teens.
But that one summer, they really messed up.
Ah, yeah.
With that, I'm 41 now and have two adult children and one almost there.
I let them go to summer camps without a threat other than missing them terribly.
Wow, you're a good mom.
You really are.
You really are.
They did only go to summer camps
where I knew all of the adults and workers at the camp
and they had great experience for you.
My only advice for sending children to summer camps
is make sure you know who will be there,
where did they hire them from
and what safety protocols are in place.
You can
never be too much of an anal overprotective parent when it comes to children.
I agree with that.
100% like the whole helicopter parent thing. I'm like, that doesn't exist.
It's also just like that's literally my job.
You give a shit about your kids.
Like it's a thing. It's like it's my one job.
Literally my most important job is making sure that they're safe.
Like I created this life. I'm responsible for it forever.
It's like, okay, I'm that spaceship from independent state parent.
I love that.
I hover over the entire city.
Yeah, that's what I do.
I block out the sun.
I'm gonna like microchip my kids and I have them.
I know whatever.
I know that.
Thank you if you read all of this.
I love your podcast and listen frequently.
You have fabulous personalities. Thank you. And annoys of this. I love your podcast and listen frequently. You have fabulous personalities.
Thank you.
And annoys my children when I listen, but I know they secretly love listening to.
Stay weird.
Hey, that was the most harrowing tale.
I know.
I'm so glad that your sister's okay.
I know.
I'm so glad that you're okay.
I'm so glad nothing happened to you, but I'm so sorry for those five other counselors.
Oh, now they had to go testify.
It's like, no kid should ever have to do that.
No, and especially you must imagine
like it probably started right when school started.
Yeah, but it's stressful time.
Now that has to start out.
And you're probably just starting high school
around all time.
Like, that's so gross.
I hate that guy.
For real, and that camp, like, get it together.
Would you hire, like, that's where you send him to do his, like,
rehabilitation? Yeah.
Like I understand people need places to go to, but you don't send them to
service. It's, especially, I mean, from the, from the
whole stand, he was like a purve. And he's, it's like, you don't
send them to a camp around children. And if this is clearly what
he's like prone to do. Right.
Come on.
Oh, you, Vey.
Well, this next one is in which a listener tale
in which Snoop Dogg failed to protect me
from the angry forest spirit.
Yeah, it is.
This one is.
All right.
Hwild.
Hey, lovelies.
Thought I would finally send in a listener tale.
I've attached it below as a pitiful,
because it's a long one.
I'll lose my butt if you read it on the podcast,
but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Best.
Jay.
I hope you find your butt so.
I hope you find that butt.
All right, let's do this.
Hello, you wonderful humans.
I wanna start off by saying that,
whoa, I was very bossed in there, I apologize.
Yeah, you did the usage.
I'll start off.
I wanna start.
I want to, I'd like to start. I'd like to start.
I let it slip.
I want to start off by saying that your podcast has got me through many tough days recently.
Oh, what can I say?
2020 is a hellscape.
You can call me Jay.
I live in the Pacific Northwest of the US, and since a young age, I've enjoyed learning
about the creepy and the morbid seem.
I don't really believe in paranormal stuff,
so whenever something is supernatural happens,
I just go with it and then file it away in my brain
as weird, unexplainable shit.
It's easier that way.
This is a long story, but I won't apologize
because I've listened to enough morbid to know you don't care.
Oh, you get it.
Now I will admit that I only listen
to spooky podcasts like yours
when I'm either tucked in bed
or safe in my truck coming to or from my work.
This is due to the fact that I am a carnivore biologist,
whoa, and I've dealt with some scary shit out
in the middle of nowhere while searching for predators.
You sound all right.
I like to think I am a hardened professional,
but that's a damn lie.
And I sometimes get paranoid about little things,
like getting eaten by a puma,
stumbling into an illegal marijuana grow,
and getting shot,
or meeting a creepy serial killer cannibal
who lives in a cabin.
It's all possible.
I think, you know what?
I get paranoid about those little things too.
Me too, and my job's not in the woods.
Like getting eaten by a puma.
That's a very valid thing to be nervous about.
I just have to say,
Roxy like a puma.
But I firmly believe that nothing bad can happen.
If the vibes ain't right.
So when I get spooked out in the wilderness,
I play Snoop Dogg's greatest hits on full blast.
That's literally amazing.
I feel like you and I have the same kind of like belief system.
I feel like nothing can really make you feel bad
if Snoop Dogg is playing at full blast. No, I agree. I feel like nothing can really make you feel bad if Snoop Dogg is playing at full
blasts. No, I agree. I feel like that's like a universal truth that we can all live by.
This is a deal, don't you? Any who buckle up your butts and let me tell you about the
time when Dearest Snoop did not protect me. Should we go talk to him? No, we'll talk
to him. I'll read a letter to Martha. It was a stormy October day and I was out in the
Redwood Forest collecting a trail camera
that had been set out the year before to document the local wildlife.
That is awesome.
I want to watch that trail camera.
Despite the fact that I enjoy being in the rain, I probably should have stayed home
because storms are dangerous, but I definitely have some sort of complex
because I felt like the need to prove myself on this particular Sunday morning.
I was four miles into my hike and two stubborn to turn back when the rains picked up more. I was soaked to the bone and twitchy as heck
because dark drippy forests are full of creepy noises. It's a snoop dog time. It's always
snoop dog time. It's made into the camera's location as drop it like it's hot played and I begin
to navigate back to the trail when I noticed a black car in a clearing below me
Uh-oh. This was odd because I was on top of a very steep mountain and there was nothing but single track hiking trails around
No roads anywhere. Well, I step closer and realize the car looked like it was from the 1920s
It was rusted and was inside and the inside was full of leaf litter and moss as if it hadn't been touched in decades
That's awesome.
I know, I feel like that would have been
like such a eureka moment for you.
Oh my goodness, I would have been like,
this is where I belong.
I only know it would have been like calling a tow company
to get a tow not a third.
One hundred percent.
I'd like to claim this as my own.
I know, this is mine now, right?
Like, I can claim this.
The forest, it's the forest.
I can take it.
Can I have it?
So spooky, spooky, but whatever.
It was time to go because I was cold as fuck
and wanted to go buy an overpriced mocha from Starbucks.
And it's hashtag Starbucks back in town to warm up.
I loved that for you.
I walked away from the crepe mobile, back up the trail,
and made it about 20 feet up the hill
when the ground gave way beneath me.
While sliding down through the mud and bushes,
my legs became deeply entangled in thick blackberry
bind, the binds.
Ooh, this heart-like hell, and I was thoroughly stuck, but my gaze was drawn to the movement
by the car below me.
Mm-hmm.
I shit you not, the back passenger door opened, and a whole-ass person heaved himself up
from the back seat.
No fucking thank you, demon. I was so
taken aback by this his appearance that I didn't notice until later that my
phone's volume had turned all the way down by itself. Snoop Dogg was silenced and
all I could hear was the drumming and dripping of the rain through the canopy
above. I am so stressed out for you. The vibe is no longer right. No.
Now as a young woman alone in the forest,
I'm never pleased when a man suddenly appears.
We can all feel that same feeling.
We are never pleased when a man suddenly appears.
I'm so sorry, man.
It's usually not even when I'm alone in the forest.
It's mostly when I'm alone in the forest for sure,
but yeah, there's a lot of other times.
But this fucker was on a different level.
He was gray, not just gray-haired.
I mean, his skin, eyes, hair, and clothing
were all different shades of gray.
Oh, he wore a long leather trench coat,
a leather hat, and leather boots,
all dark gray and gray leather.
Oh, I've never even seen gray leather.
Oh my god, this is exactly what I pictured.
Yes, right.
Imagine Captain Barbosa from Pat Kyrz of the...
Wow, pirates of the Caribbean.
You were gonna say pirates of the Caribbean.
Sure was.
Sure was.
Kyrz of the Caribbean.
Pirates of the Caribbean, but less piratey.
That's literally what I was picturing in my head.
His gray hair was shoulder length and tangled.
It looked like he was straight
from an old black and white movie, except for one thing.
There was a thin layer of green moss
growing on his hat, cheek, and trench coat.
Okay, but is that not the coolest fucking thing
you've ever seen in your goddamn life?
Like, really fucking scary in the moment,
but like now you've made it out of there?
Yeah.
Can you fucking imagine being like, I saw that?
Yeah, I'd be like, can you just stand in front of my house as like a gargoyle?
How did you not take a pic?
Yeah, that's, I mean, probably better than you.
I, yeah.
What the fuck said this person and us?
Yeah, said Jay.
I stopped struggling with the vines and stared at him.
He glanced at me briefly and then began to walk away.
He was not interested in you.
He's like, no.
But not before giving me the most disgusted
and judgmental look over his shoulder.
He's like, why are you wearing clothes?
I love that he's just like, ugh.
Like, you're disgusted.
Oh, he's like this bitch.
If I hadn't been so thoroughly creeped out,
I would have been offended.
I understood that Mr. Sparrettman didn't appreciate
being woken up from his slumber by a 21-year-old girl
who was covered in mud and blackberry goo,
but that look he gave me was just rude.
["Walking Up From His Slamber"]
He disappeared into the thick mist
that was swirling around the redwood trees and was gone.
Wild.
This whole thing had disturbed me down to my very atoms, but I managed to pull myself together
and emerged five minutes later back on the trail covered in mud, blood, and blackberry juice.
That's like a good like, I feel like it should be like, what's it called, an album name.
Yeah, I like mud, blood, and blackberry juice.
I like it. Weird, unexplainable shit.
I made a mental note to never speak to anyone
about what just happened, but I'm making an exception
for the sake of listener tales.
I'd like to tell the nation.
And begin to make my way back down the mountain,
except the mist had grown so thick now
that it looked like it was night,
even though we were two hours from sunset.
The trails, which had been straightforward on the way there,
now looked foreign and seemed to go on forever. The rains picked up had been straight forward on the way there, now looked foreign and seemed
to go on forever.
The rains picked up and I began shivering harder than I ever had before, so I changed into
a spare jacket I kept handy in my backpack.
Despite this new warmth, I began to feel slow and confused.
I was still so cold, my legs grew heavy and hard to move, my brain was foggy and my tongue
runum, I started to stumble and tried
my best to run downhill for the next couple of miles. It was so dark that I couldn't see
more than a few feet off the trail and everything looked unfamiliar. I began to get a bizarre urge
to crawl into a hollowed out tree stump and fall asleep, which scared the shit out of my semi-conscious brain. Your girl had hypothermia.
In sparkles.
And it's in the sparkle of merch.
She's like, woo.
Hi, Betharmia.
That's not good.
Oh, you should press the sparkle button.
I think it's twinkle button.
Hold on.
Your girl had...
Oh, I'm ruined.
Carl, your girl had...
Does it not work? Carl, your girl had...
Does it not work?
Oh, whoa, that was aggressive. Hype, I don't know if it works.
I don't know if it works.
You'll find out.
But I guess we'll see.
Hold on, your girl had.
Hype, they're me, yeah. It's just one more time for me to finishathermia. Just one more time.
We'll see if it works.
What do we have?
We're at the 53-minute mark.
I'll go check afterwards.
Everybody, we'll see if I work.
I'll scream.
I got to an intersection of trails.
My always trusty GPS was glitching and was showing me roads around me that didn't actually
exist. That's wild. It then turned off completely. Somebody had also ripped out the trail signs after I had
laspin through the same spot a few hours earlier. So I had no idea what directions to take. This
sounds like labyrinth. It does. So I agreed that the most worn one was the path to the parking lot
and thank fuck I was right. At this At this point, I could barely move, but somehow manage to stumble the last mile through
the dark into my work truck.
I was on survival autopilot, and all I remember doing was letting out a sob of relief when
I cried when I crawled out inside, only to realize that the truck's heater, which had
worked earlier that day, wouldn't turn on.
The rest of my journey home was spent violently shaking while driving, and I didn't feel normal for a week after.
Fun times.
Dude, what do I think I do to you?
That's horrifying. He gave you that look, and it was like,
it was like he did something.
You would that look?
Yeah, to this day, I'm not sure who or what that man was.
Even though I saw him 20 minutes before my first symptom showed up,
part of me hopes that it was hypothermia induced hallucination.
Thinking about how I might have woken up a grumpy forest spirit with my loud snoop dog
playlist, and then was tormented by him for the rest of my hike is beyond what I want
to believe.
But I don't know my dude's weird unexplainable shit.
After that day, my GPS has been trustworthy.
My truck's heater started working again,
and I always triple check the weather
before going in the field.
Have you ever gone back to that specific wood stuff?
I gotta know.
Or those specific woods.
And I'm just obsessed with the sentence,
thinking about how I might have woken up
a grumpy forest spirit with my loud Snoop Dogg playlist,
and was tormented to him for the rest of my hike
is beyond what I want to believe.
You woke up a grumpy forest spirit with Snoop Dogg.
A gray forest dwelling demon from his moss-covered bed inside of his vintage car, which I want.
I think he's cool though.
And he just gave you a look like you fucking asshole.
He's like, this is what the kids listen to.
And then he cursed you for a couple hours.
He didn't want to drop it like it was hot.
No, he was like, I like being cold.
Drop it like it's hot.
Had something to do with your hypothermia.
Because you dropped someone dropped you like you were hot
because you fell down the hill.
And then he was like, I prefer cold.
He dropped you like you're cold. Interesting. Wow. That was that was a wild one.
Those bonkers. Guys, you always you just give it to us. Always every fucking time.
Every time we never failed to find amazing gifts in that email. I know. But you send us.
It's so good. I love listening to her tell so much. I would do it every email. I know. But you send us. It's so good. I love listener tales so much.
I would do it every week if I could.
Maybe we will.
Okay.
Who knows?
I'm Mia.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But either way, keep sending them in because that grumpy forest spirit knows.
He's no one's asking.
But guys, you killed it.
Keep sending them in with listener tails in the beginning.
Also, we've been getting a few lighthouse ones.
So if you have spooky lighthouse ones,
send us the same email address with
the spooky lighthouse in front, so we know it's that.
Yes, please.
But yeah, it's awesome.
You guys are awesome.
We fucking love you.
This just like fed my soul after Albert Fish.
Honestly, I feel like it was like a reset button.
Thank you so much, you guys rule.
And we hope that you keep listening.
And we hope you keep it weird.
But not so weird that you go into the kitchen in the middle of the night
and you're like, hey, mom, I have to talk to you about something.
And the lady turns around, she's talking to you and she's not your mom.
She disappears into the fridge because that's like really heartbreaking.
You know, it's like a little bit scary.
And not so weird that like a ghost like your ankle,
because I don't even think I have to tell you not to keep it that weird,
because of a ghost like your ankle, that's like kind of a problem. to tell you not to keep it that weird because of a ghost like your ankle.
That's like kind of a problem.
Like did they, did they possess your ankle?
I don't really know.
I don't really know.
Not so weird that you're in the middle of the woods
in the middle of the night and people are like,
John, I'm John, I'm John,
because they're trying to like overtake you in your car.
Like that's really fricking creepy.
Not so weird that you hire a fucking pedophile monster
to fucking join your camp.
Like don't ever keep it that weird.
You have sick fuck.
And I kind of want you to keep it so weird that you run into a great demon in the middle of the woods fuck. And I kind of want you to keep it so weird
that you run into a great demon in the middle of the woods
and like I don't want you to keep it so weird
to the point where you can hypothermia,
but I do want you to keep it so weird
where you're blasting Snoop Dogg
and like maybe you'll meet this man's.
This is Grumpy Forest Spirit.
Bye.
Bye. Thank you. Hey, Prime Members!
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